Speaker 1: Cans, cansage.
Speaker 2: It's not savy, And I know there's one million and
Speaker 2: one thing's going on in the world right now, but
Speaker 2: I think we should have a giggle and talk about dating.
Speaker 2: What do you say? What do you say? Yeah, I
Speaker 2: know people are beating each other up in the streets.
Speaker 2: Well that's there. I know that there's just file after
Speaker 2: file coming out. Can I just say I've been known
Speaker 2: about that part since twenty twenty and I feel so validated.
Speaker 2: I feel so validated. Look, the government is going to
Speaker 2: do whatever it wants to do, so I just say
Speaker 2: we follow suit, and we also do whatever we want
Speaker 2: to do. Okay, fine, for readom let it rain. I
Speaker 2: don't really believe in beating a dead horse. I don't
Speaker 2: believe in talking about topics if I don't have a
Speaker 2: solution at hands, because all it does is really lower
Speaker 2: our vibration. Unless you're reading something to gain knowledge and
Speaker 2: order to find a solution, talking about things that just
Speaker 2: make you feel upset doesn't actually help you nor the planet.
Speaker 2: The best thing you can do is hold yourself anchor
Speaker 2: yourself in a higher vibration and broadcast that. So that's
Speaker 2: what we're going to do, because we know as above
Speaker 2: so below. The more we can place ourselves on our
Speaker 2: own pedestal, the more we can raise our vibration, the
Speaker 2: more that has a trickle down effect on this energetic
Speaker 2: ocean that we all reside within. Now, my mother is
Speaker 2: the culprit this week. Okay, we were sitting on the
Speaker 2: couch and she was telling me Christa, Christa, Christa, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, yes, Janie, just download a dating app. It
Speaker 2: will be funny. It's gonna be so fun I'm so
Speaker 2: curious to see. I haven't been on a dating app
Speaker 2: in god knows how long, and we've all known that.
Speaker 2: I said I would never do it again. And now
Speaker 2: I'm about to be a hypocrite because here I go,
Speaker 2: and I can't lie about it. I won't lie about
Speaker 2: it anyway. My mom is saying, Chris, to just download it.
Speaker 2: I want to see what's out there. She thinks it's
Speaker 2: so magnificent that we have dating apps. She doesn't understand
Speaker 2: that it's not a big deal. But to her it
Speaker 2: is a big deal because she's a boomer, and what
Speaker 2: do boomers do but make big deals out of everything.
Speaker 2: So she tells me download the app, and I said,
Speaker 2: I'll only download it. If you are me on it,
Speaker 2: you have to do it, because I'm not going to
Speaker 2: do it. I want to talk about dating today. But
Speaker 2: can I just tell you what this woman said, This
Speaker 2: is the only reason I will ever have a dating
Speaker 2: app on my phone is if my mom is actually
Speaker 2: using it for me. These are some of her reactions.
Speaker 2: One person wrote they were retired and she goes, yeah,
Speaker 2: retired and poor okay, ses she sees the photo of
Speaker 2: a man and she goes, yep, couldn't look at him
Speaker 2: all day. Someone wrote that they went to ole miss
Speaker 2: and she goes, what is he talking about his grandmother for?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: What are you talking about? Janis? She kept swiping and
Speaker 2: then her next response was, Oh, this looks like a
Speaker 2: desperate freak mother. Is that kind of you? Someone wrote
Speaker 2: they were an entrepreneur and she says an entrepreneur making
Speaker 2: a bowl of spaghetti? Like what does that even mean?
Speaker 2: I will tell you I don't like dating apps. Watching
Speaker 2: my mom experience a dating app love I love. There
Speaker 2: should be a show about this. It was the funniest
Speaker 2: moment of my life. I don't regret downloading it at all,
Speaker 2: just to watch my mom experience it. I don't regret
Speaker 2: downloading it at all, just because I get to see
Speaker 2: through my mom's eyes on this technological app that she's
Speaker 2: never got to experience for herself, and it was the
Speaker 2: funniest thing that has ever happened to me in my
Speaker 2: whole entire life. I think I want to make a
Speaker 2: series where I don't really use the app, but it's
Speaker 2: just my mom responding to people on the app, because
Speaker 2: that is more joy than I fell in a really,
Speaker 2: really long time. Anyway, re downloading the app, even just
Speaker 2: having it on my phone, I started thinking about how
Speaker 2: different my energy towards the apps are now than when
Speaker 2: I first got on them. And I've said this before,
Speaker 2: I'll say it again. I don't think the apps are
Speaker 2: demonic or evil. I have met My seven year relationship
Speaker 2: was on an app. I dated someone for about four
Speaker 2: months they were on an app. I had many relationships
Speaker 2: that I've learned so much through that came from an app.
Speaker 2: And I want to talk about how to date in
Speaker 2: your magnetic energy, whether you are on the apps or
Speaker 2: you're just going out in the wild. I want to
Speaker 2: talk about the embodiment, because the embodiment is the most
Speaker 2: important thing. Whether you meet someone on an app or
Speaker 2: in person or at work. Your energy determines everything. Now,
Speaker 2: your higher self and your soulmates high your self, they
Speaker 2: are figuring out ways to get you too. Aligned. You
Speaker 2: don't have to do anything, you don't have to worry.
Speaker 2: You just have to be focused on yourself, working on
Speaker 2: your energy, and really making sure that you are creating
Speaker 2: a fulfilling life. I have noticed key differences in myself
Speaker 2: that I'm really proud about and I'm really excited to
Speaker 2: share because I think it's gonna shift how we are
Speaker 2: dating and how we're going about things before we get
Speaker 2: into it. What's a positive bitches? How are you doing today?
Speaker 2: If you're hearing this episode, then you are meant to
Speaker 2: be here, So keep listening on that Bitch is Positive podcast.
Speaker 2: Sometimes we're gonna laugh. Other times, baby, we're gonna cry,
Speaker 2: but we're always gonna walk away feeling our most empowered
Speaker 2: positive bitch self. That is a babe and true connection
Speaker 2: with herself, himself or self. You know, I don't care
Speaker 2: if you are in Alligan. If you want to step
Speaker 2: into your power, then this is the place to be
Speaker 2: and I am your perfect guide. So welcome on this podcast.
Speaker 2: We unbecome who we are not, so we can fully
Speaker 2: step into exactly who we came here to be. Now,
Speaker 2: maybe you're thinking, Krista, you said you were never going
Speaker 2: on the apps again, and yeah, call me a hypocrite
Speaker 2: here I am in my hypocrite energy. I don't really
Speaker 2: believe in hardcore rules, even though I do have hardcore
Speaker 2: rules for myself. Again, I'm a hypocrite whatever. I more
Speaker 2: believe in following your intuition. I believe in following what
Speaker 2: feels right in that moment, as long as it's not
Speaker 2: a harm to you or another person. If you feel
Speaker 2: an intuitive nudge to do something, then do it. Even
Speaker 2: my real estate agent was like, Krista, I really think
Speaker 2: you should get back on the apps. That's how he
Speaker 2: met his wife or soon to be wife. And I
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, thank you, but tried it, done it,
Speaker 2: and I don't really feel like doing it anymore. Then
Speaker 2: I had someone say, yeah, you might have tried it,
Speaker 2: but you've never tried it in this exact energy that
Speaker 2: you're in, and I said, yeah, that's fine, that's true,
Speaker 2: but I really don't feel like it. And then with
Speaker 2: my mom, I just had a feeling it was going
Speaker 2: to be funny, so I did it, and again I
Speaker 2: don't regret it at all. This is just so funny.
Speaker 2: I have to make this a series. However, I want
Speaker 2: to talk about the difference between how I feel about
Speaker 2: it now, what I do now, both on an app
Speaker 2: and off an app, and everything I've learned thus far,
Speaker 2: because it's been a long freaking journey. The first thing
Speaker 2: I've learned is I'm not going to lead with my
Speaker 2: resume anymore. I will not do that. So probably a
Speaker 2: year ago, when I was on dating apps, I had
Speaker 2: one of the prompts, say what is something you're most
Speaker 2: proud of? And I said starting my own business and
Speaker 2: getting my book published. I felt like I wasn't enough,
Speaker 2: so I had to subconsciously lead with what I've created,
Speaker 2: what I have done, what I've accomplished. So I would
Speaker 2: talk about the book that I wrote, the business I built.
Speaker 2: But there are so many negative consequences of this, and
Speaker 2: I think a lot of us as women want to
Speaker 2: lead with I did this, and I did this, and
Speaker 2: I did this because we've been trying to prove that
Speaker 2: we are worthy since we've been born. It's such a disservice.
Speaker 2: First of all, if you lead with what you have
Speaker 2: built and what you have created, you're going to attract
Speaker 2: a feminine man. Why would that be? Polarity like attracts like.
Speaker 2: Except for polarity, we need feminine and masculine. It doesn't
Speaker 2: matter if you're in a same sex couple. There's always
Speaker 2: a feminine energy and a masculine energy. It doesn't matter
Speaker 2: who you are or where you are, what your race is,
Speaker 2: doesn't matter your ethnicity. There is always a yin and
Speaker 2: a yang. When I was leading with my yang, what
Speaker 2: I've built, what I've done, I kept attracting feminine men,
Speaker 2: and on top of that, I would attract people who
Speaker 2: made me feel like I wasn't enough Because I already
Speaker 2: had that seat inside of me. I already felt like
Speaker 2: I wasn't good enough. I already felt like I needed validation.
Speaker 2: I already was starving for someone to tell me how
Speaker 2: proud they were of me. That I would lead with insecurity,
Speaker 2: which only really planted more insecurity to grow in my life.
Speaker 2: I thought that because I didn't feel inherently enough, I
Speaker 2: had to prove that I was. Another part of this
Speaker 2: was I wanted someone successful, so I felt like I
Speaker 2: had to prove that I myself was successful but that's
Speaker 2: not power. It was insecurity, and I now realize, Oh,
Speaker 2: it's not what I've built or what I've done that
Speaker 2: is magnificent or worthy or valuable. It is me. It's
Speaker 2: just me. It's my energy. My energy is the gift,
Speaker 2: not what I've done on the planet. Some of my
Speaker 2: clients have literally told me, I signed up just because
Speaker 2: I needed to sit in your energy for forty five minutes.
Speaker 2: Yes we do the work, Yes we do the healing,
Speaker 2: Yes we talk, but transmission is the real art of
Speaker 2: it all. Me channeling divine energy to my client. That
Speaker 2: is the real work. This even goes for friendship and
Speaker 2: work partnership. Actually, this goes for everything. I recently was
Speaker 2: talking to someone about doing a brand deal, and I
Speaker 2: would not drop my price. I said, no, if you
Speaker 2: can't meet me here, then we're not working together. I
Speaker 2: rather have a zero dollars from you. If you can't
Speaker 2: pay me what I know I'm worth, then no, we're done.
Speaker 2: I don't need to sell myself. I don't need to perform.
Speaker 2: I don't need to prove. And this is not a
Speaker 2: concept anymore. This is in action. This is embodiment. I
Speaker 2: actually don't want someone who potentially wants to date me,
Speaker 2: to even though I published a book, to even know
Speaker 2: I have a following, to even know what my business
Speaker 2: is doing. I don't even want them to know, because
Speaker 2: I don't want them to like me for it. I
Speaker 2: don't you have to like me for me, for my energy,
Speaker 2: for what I embody or else. Get out of here,
Speaker 2: because if I attracted you because of what I built,
Speaker 2: your feminine man, and I want nothing to do with you.
Speaker 2: I just need to be me and my person will
Speaker 2: see me, value me, and love me. You need to
Speaker 2: remember that it's not about your degree or certification, or
Speaker 2: what you built or what you saved. It's about you
Speaker 2: as a divine, feminine energy. Your energy is what makes
Speaker 2: a house a home. Your essence is the magic. On
Speaker 2: top of lesson one comes lesson two. I realize, right,
Speaker 2: I don't have to prove I'm successful in order to
Speaker 2: attract a successful man. I don't necessarily need to be
Speaker 2: matched in the physical I need to be complimented. If
Speaker 2: you think about let's say you're on a soccer team,
Speaker 2: you don't want someone with your same exact strength. You
Speaker 2: need someone who's a good goalie, someone who's good on defense,
Speaker 2: someone who's good on offense. You need people with different
Speaker 2: strengths to make a good team. I used to think
Speaker 2: I need someone who knows exactly what I know, who
Speaker 2: can meet me exactly and every single thing in my brain.
Speaker 2: But that's not true. Those things are my strengths. That's
Speaker 2: what I bring into a loving relationship, That's what I broadcast.
Speaker 2: What I actually need is someone to balance me so
Speaker 2: we make a good team. What I actually need is
Speaker 2: someone who's mastered the physical world in a way that
Speaker 2: allows me to relax into my flow. I need someone
Speaker 2: who creates safety, especially financial safety, so I don't have
Speaker 2: to be stressed out and I can be the channel
Speaker 2: that I am so I can focus on my arnt,
Speaker 2: my creation. I don't need someone coming into my orbit
Speaker 2: and making my life more difficult. You either make my
Speaker 2: life easier or there's no point. And why is that?
Speaker 2: I have to protect my mission. I'm on divine assignment
Speaker 2: and above all else, it must be protected. So if
Speaker 2: you want to hate yourself through me, you have to go.
Speaker 2: If you're gonna get insecure, you have to go. If
Speaker 2: you're going to attack my light, you have to go.
Speaker 2: I tried to date people who maybe they were figuring
Speaker 2: things out. Maybe they had a potential, maybe this maybe
Speaker 2: that it never works. It never works because they end
Speaker 2: up hating you for doing what they cannot. They hate
Speaker 2: you for doing what they cannot. I realize I do
Speaker 2: not have to have what I require in another I'm
Speaker 2: not requiring my future husband to understand energy the way
Speaker 2: I do, to be the channel that I am. I'm
Speaker 2: not requiring that. I'm not requiring him to write books
Speaker 2: or have online courses or following. I am requiring different
Speaker 2: things though a healthy bank account, a healthy human more
Speaker 2: financially stable than me. I would really desire that someone
Speaker 2: who has their shit figured out even more than me.
Speaker 2: If you can teach me something, you're in, if you
Speaker 2: have intellect, you're in shared values. Even if we have
Speaker 2: different strengths, we are not here to be the same.
Speaker 2: We're here to be a team. And I would just
Speaker 2: feel so insecure. Well, if I don't have X amount
Speaker 2: of dollars, and how can I require that of my partner?
Speaker 2: Actually I need that. It's a need, it's a requirement,
Speaker 2: it's a standard, and I'm standing on that standard. I
Speaker 2: think about my mother and father. They do not have
Speaker 2: the same strengths they have exact opposite strengths, and that
Speaker 2: is what has made my life so much better. I
Speaker 2: could go to my mother for something more emotional, father
Speaker 2: for something more intellectual. I need someone who is a
Speaker 2: great compliment to me. So as you're dating, instead of
Speaker 2: looking for someone who knows every conspiracy theory that you do,
Speaker 2: who lives in the same exact world that you live in,
Speaker 2: look for someone who compliments your reality, who compliments your energy,
Speaker 2: who compliments you, Who's going to make a good team
Speaker 2: for your future children if you choose to have them,
Speaker 2: for your future businesses, if you choose to do that together,
Speaker 2: you need someone who is going to compliment you, not
Speaker 2: be exactly you. Number three. I no longer attach meaning
Speaker 2: when there is none. Now this is just my experiences
Speaker 2: dating that the people I've been meeting out and about
Speaker 2: if someone doesn't follow up, or there's no second date,
Speaker 2: or if they disappear. I used to spiral with a
Speaker 2: capital S. I used to think, why what did I do?
Speaker 2: What does this mean? And now I've realized when people
Speaker 2: meet me subconsciously, if they feel like they can't emotionally
Speaker 2: meet me, intellectually, meet me financially meet me, they bow out,
Speaker 2: they bow out. They might not want to do the
Speaker 2: work to rise, and I don't want to wait for
Speaker 2: them to do the rising either, So I'm so happy
Speaker 2: to just say goodbye. I don't attach a story that's
Speaker 2: gonna hurt me. I don't attach a story of but
Speaker 2: what if it could be? No, you're clearly not my person,
Speaker 2: because my person would stay, my person would fight for me,
Speaker 2: my person would do more. And you know, peace be
Speaker 2: with you. Jesus wept. I'm good now. I'm just one
Speaker 2: step closer to my husband, and that makes me excited.
Speaker 2: That makes me happy. If someone can't give you what
Speaker 2: you want while you're dating, don't cling on to who
Speaker 2: they could be, who you wish they could one day become.
Speaker 2: Just say thank you so much for leaving my life
Speaker 2: so I can now become one step closer to my husband,
Speaker 2: so I can now get one step closer to finding
Speaker 2: my truth, my clarity. It is magic. Honestly, when someone
Speaker 2: drops out of my reality, I have no emotional reaction
Speaker 2: besides happiness. I think great, they left, so I don't
Speaker 2: have to cut them out. Awesome. Number four. I no
Speaker 2: longer choose intensity over intentionality. I used to prioritize chemistry,
Speaker 2: the spark, the familiar feeling, Oh my god, I've known
Speaker 2: you before. I still require a soul recognition, but it's
Speaker 2: not the only thing that's going to put me into
Speaker 2: a dynamic with someone. I would meet someone and have
Speaker 2: soul recognition and think that's all I need. They're cute,
Speaker 2: they're kind. The sole recognition is there, but maybe they
Speaker 2: don't have their shit figured out, or maybe they're in transition,
Speaker 2: or maybe they live too far. If that is there,
Speaker 2: it's over. It's over before it started. When I'm with
Speaker 2: someone who doesn't have their life together and I do
Speaker 2: like I said, they get and secure, they start bleeding
Speaker 2: on me, they hate themselves through me. I'm just not
Speaker 2: doing it anymore. I feel so much freer being intentional
Speaker 2: rather than just having this feeling lead me. I even
Speaker 2: think in the Bible it says something about the heart
Speaker 2: may deceive you. Sometimes your feelings do deceive you. Sole
Speaker 2: recognition is real, but you have to translate what your
Speaker 2: soul's even recognizing. Is this someone that you've had a
Speaker 2: traumatic pass with. Is this someone you have to clear
Speaker 2: karmo with? Is this someone who's going to be a
Speaker 2: soul relationship where they can give you love and expand
Speaker 2: your heart. Just because their sole recognition doesn't mean you're
Speaker 2: going to be their wife. It doesn't mean they are
Speaker 2: your husband. It doesn't mean that you're meant to be
Speaker 2: together forever. It just means sole recognition, point blank period.
Speaker 2: That's it. That's it. That's it. I've gone through so
Speaker 2: many karma relationships that now I'm like, all right, yeah,
Speaker 2: maybe I recognize you on a soul level, but that's
Speaker 2: not enough to have a relationship that is not a
Speaker 2: stable foundation. Familiarity of a soul is not a stable foundation.
Speaker 2: It just means our soul is familiar. That's it. So
Speaker 2: now I'm looking for intentionality over intensity, compatibility over potential,
Speaker 2: and stability over fantasy. I don't care who you could be.
Speaker 2: I don't care what you think you can do. I
Speaker 2: actually don't care what you say. I have one guy
Speaker 2: that I was dating always tell me I just want
Speaker 2: to take care of you. I just want to take
Speaker 2: care of you. Then do it. Do it if that's
Speaker 2: what you want to do so badly. Do it. When
Speaker 2: I say I want to lose weight, I do it.
Speaker 2: When I say I want to make more money, I
Speaker 2: do it. When I say I'm going to go to
Speaker 2: a workout class, I do it. When I make plans,
Speaker 2: I go to them. I don't just say what I
Speaker 2: would do what I want to do. I do the
Speaker 2: things I say I want to do. I don't have
Speaker 2: these flimsy, whimsical desires that have no goal or action plan.
Speaker 2: I simply do what I want to do. Don't get
Speaker 2: caught up in people's words. Number five, I stand on
Speaker 2: my standards without explaining them. My standards are my standards
Speaker 2: because they're my standards. Okay, that's it. You don't have
Speaker 2: to like them, you don't have to agree with them.
Speaker 2: You are free to leave my reality goodbye. Don't let
Speaker 2: the door hit you on the way outside. And nah huh.
Speaker 2: I've never looked at a man with high standards and thought, wow,
Speaker 2: there's really something wrong with you. Should lower your standard.
Speaker 2: I don't think that way. You know I. You know
Speaker 2: I because I have self worth. When someone in my
Speaker 2: past has tried to tell me your standard is too
Speaker 2: high or this or that, they're just saying that because
Speaker 2: they can't meet it. Awkward way to expose yourself. Just
Speaker 2: move out of my husband's way. When someone attacks your standards.
Speaker 2: It's because they feel they are below them. That's not
Speaker 2: your problem, that's a them pattern. Let it go. Let
Speaker 2: it go, I will say, since downloading this app, I
Speaker 2: can just feel as soon as I see someone's profile,
Speaker 2: what they're about and what they're doing. I'm just gonna
Speaker 2: say this, I have not had these ex experiences on
Speaker 2: the app. Yex I'm really not using it. When I
Speaker 2: used to be on the app, I would allow men
Speaker 2: to talk to me forever before actually doing anything about it.
Speaker 2: And I've had men literally tell me they use the
Speaker 2: dating apps for validation. They just use it because they're bored.
Speaker 2: They just want to see what else is out there.
Speaker 2: Be really intentional about where you give your time and
Speaker 2: your energy. If they don't immediately ask you out, you're done.
Speaker 2: If they ask you to come over for a movie,
Speaker 2: you're done. If they are trying to text you all day,
Speaker 2: how are you good? How are you? How are you?
Speaker 2: How are you? They're done. You gotta understand not everyone
Speaker 2: on the app is being as intentional as you. Not
Speaker 2: everyone wants the same things. Not everyone wants to treat
Speaker 2: you with respect. Some people are just looking to get
Speaker 2: a quick fix. Okay, Be discerning in real life, at
Speaker 2: the workplace, on an app, on Instagram. Be discerning about
Speaker 2: who you allow into your reality, that's all. And when
Speaker 2: you notice I can't give you what you want, that's
Speaker 2: not an invitation for you to prove yourself. It's a
Speaker 2: reminder to remove them, unmatch them. They are not yours. Oh,
Speaker 2: I totally forgot to say. The only reason I even
Speaker 2: allowed my mother to convince me to re download a
Speaker 2: dating app is because she used to tell me every
Speaker 2: other week, chrisa just get on the apps, like I
Speaker 2: have a feeling like to see what's out there. And
Speaker 2: I would tell her, a, Janie, I don't need to
Speaker 2: do that. Men come up to me. I walk outside
Speaker 2: and breathe and there's a man in my face. Out
Speaker 2: of the clouds. I think, where did you even come from?
Speaker 2: I don't need the apps. And I would tell her that.
Speaker 2: And I also told her until I'm done with my
Speaker 2: second book, no, it's a hard no. After if you
Speaker 2: still want me to and you feel like you have
Speaker 2: this motherly intuition of something, then maybe afterwards. But right now,
Speaker 2: like I am way too busy, and honestly, I'm still
Speaker 2: too busy. That's why I can't really answer people, because
Speaker 2: right now I'm doing a new detox, I'm on a cleanse.
Speaker 2: I'm really serious about it. If I do something, I
Speaker 2: do not cheat. My mom was thinking she was gonna
Speaker 2: do it too, and she asked me, can I cheat?
Speaker 2: I go why would you cheat? You just cheat yourself.
Speaker 2: Make it make sense. I'm going through a major rebrand.
Speaker 2: I have so many things. Oh, I'm in the process
Speaker 2: of I can't even remember the process of moving, Like,
Speaker 2: I don't have time to be like, hey, how are
Speaker 2: you The weather's so nice. I don't give a flying duck.
Speaker 2: I don't give a flying duck about what the weather
Speaker 2: is doing. I don't care. Either do something or don't.
Speaker 2: Just ugh, I'm really fun. Oh. And the other thing
Speaker 2: is I literally do not drink ever, ever, ever, ever, ever.
Speaker 2: I don't. I'm not doing the drinking thing. My health
Speaker 2: is way too important to me to ever have a
Speaker 2: sip of alcol literally ever again. And maybe one day
Speaker 2: I'll be like, hey, guys, I'm a hypocrite again. I
Speaker 2: don't think so. Though. Also, that's so different when dating,
Speaker 2: because now if I see a guy who has pictures
Speaker 2: with alcohol, ill, if I see a man in a
Speaker 2: sports jersey ill, and maybe I'll eat my words one day,
Speaker 2: I don't think. So, why are you wearing another man's jersey.
Speaker 2: You've made an idol out of a man who doesn't
Speaker 2: even know you. You have put a man on a
Speaker 2: pedestal who doesn't even know you. You pay that man's
Speaker 2: bills and he doesn't even know you. I can't. And
Speaker 2: maybe you're thinking, Chris, so you're so judgmental. You're damn right.
Speaker 2: I am. Yeah. God gave me a brain. Don't use it,
Speaker 2: and I will judge. I will judge you, and I
Speaker 2: will make conclusions off those judgments. Thank you. Number six.
Speaker 2: My solitude is so good you have to compete with it.
Speaker 2: I think this is one of the more important ones.
Speaker 2: There was a time when I would be on dating
Speaker 2: apps that I would just let way too much ship fly.
Speaker 2: At this point, like I've said, I'm really busy. I'm
Speaker 2: literally cultivating empire, if you will, okay a whole queendom.
Speaker 2: I love my energy, I love my life, I love
Speaker 2: my solitude. So the person I choose has to be
Speaker 2: so good that I'm willing to trade some of that
Speaker 2: solitude for that person. And I'm not gonna go on
Speaker 2: this is my new thing that I want to I
Speaker 2: used to kind of like a walk to get to
Speaker 2: know someone before dinner. But now if there's a question
Speaker 2: if I like you, I don't want to go on
Speaker 2: a walk with you. I used to like to just
Speaker 2: fit it into my schedule. I don't want to do
Speaker 2: it anymore. I've done enough. And sometimes you have to
Speaker 2: experience something to come out of the other end of
Speaker 2: it and think, actually, this doesn't work for me. The
Speaker 2: person I choose has to be so amazing that I'm
Speaker 2: willing to trade my alone time or my time with
Speaker 2: God with them. And that's gonna be a high bar,
Speaker 2: and I'm not dropping that bar. I couldn't have gotten
Speaker 2: into this headspace though, without falling in love with myself,
Speaker 2: building my life and becoming my own safety. If you
Speaker 2: don't have your ducks in a row, do not try
Speaker 2: to get into a relationship. I used to want a
Speaker 2: relationship as a distraction from my life. My life is
Speaker 2: so busy right now. I don't have time for distractions.
Speaker 2: So my gates that are opened for love or a
Speaker 2: relationship are it's so narrow. Who's gonna get in? They
Speaker 2: have to be the best of the best. They can't
Speaker 2: just be mumbo jumbo whatever. You have to be the
Speaker 2: best of the best, because I literally don't have time
Speaker 2: to waste. I don't I'm a busy person. If you're
Speaker 2: not giving the positive energy, if you're not adding to
Speaker 2: my life, what are we doing. I'm gonna add to
Speaker 2: your life. I know what I add. So if you're
Speaker 2: not doing the same, what are we doing? Number seven
Speaker 2: is this is my favorite thing. Actually, when I re
Speaker 2: downloaded the app and my mom was on it, I've
Speaker 2: realized I don't get this high from it anymore, which
Speaker 2: is amazing. I'm so happy. And it surprised me though,
Speaker 2: because I used to get such a high from like Ooh,
Speaker 2: who's this? Who's that? It used to give me a
Speaker 2: rush because it was a distraction. I didn't like where
Speaker 2: my business was, or I wanted more in life, and
Speaker 2: instead of focusing on building that, I would just go
Speaker 2: and date and distract. And now it's like the book
Speaker 2: that I just finished writing is so much more interesting
Speaker 2: than any of these people's conversations. My life is interesting,
Speaker 2: my friends are interesting, my inner world is richer. That
Speaker 2: I don't need. I don't need a distraction. I don't
Speaker 2: even have time for it, but even if I did,
Speaker 2: I don't need it and I don't want it because
Speaker 2: I'm building something that's important to me. So when I
Speaker 2: meet someone or connect with someone who can't meet me,
Speaker 2: it's so easy to walk away because I have something
Speaker 2: to walk into, I have somewhere to rest my head,
Speaker 2: I have something to look forward to and to build.
Speaker 2: There's no drama, there's no attachment, there's no story. I
Speaker 2: just disconnect from them in the easiest, healthiest possible way
Speaker 2: because there's just there's no cord there. And I really think,
Speaker 2: if you're gonna date, please do it when you get
Speaker 2: to a place where you feel good about yourself, where
Speaker 2: you feel powerful in who you are. I dated when
Speaker 2: I wasn't powerful. I've dated when I was insecure, and
Speaker 2: I still attracted people who taught me things, and that's fine.
Speaker 2: But it's such a better experience just meeting people and
Speaker 2: going out and dating as someone who knows who they are,
Speaker 2: because I'm less willing to accept low quality experiences or
Speaker 2: low vibrational people. I have a backbone because I'm protecting myself,
Speaker 2: my inner child and what I've built. Number eight, I
Speaker 2: just feel like saying this. I think it's important. I'm
Speaker 2: always going to admit that I want love. I love love,
Speaker 2: and I want it. I think some people get bitter
Speaker 2: and they try to pretend I'm fine without a relationship.
Speaker 2: I don't need no, man, I don't need Okay, well,
Speaker 2: I want one, Hi, I want one. I want one.
Speaker 2: I care. I love love. I'm not going to force
Speaker 2: something that's misaligned. I'm not going to make a square
Speaker 2: peg fit into a round hole. Absolutely not. My standard
Speaker 2: is high, and I'm sitting on that standard. I'm standing
Speaker 2: on that standard. I really have an amazing idea of
Speaker 2: what I desire and not willing to settle. But I'm
Speaker 2: also not going to deny that I desire divine union.
Speaker 2: And I really believe that my process of divine union
Speaker 2: is meant to be shown with other people. I think
Speaker 2: it's meant to be shared with other people. I think
Speaker 2: I'm meant to experience this publicly because we're going to
Speaker 2: learn a lot from each other. Denial doesn't make you powerful.
Speaker 2: Honesty does. And that's why I'm even being honest that
Speaker 2: my mother finally got one over me, damn it, and
Speaker 2: we're gonna see what happens. I might delete this tomorrow
Speaker 2: or in like two hours. So don't hold me to
Speaker 2: actually using this app. I don't know if I will.
Speaker 2: I don't know I even when I had it a
Speaker 2: year ago. I would never scroll on the dating apps.
Speaker 2: I'll either accept you or deny you. But there's just
Speaker 2: so many people on there. It's like overwhelming to me,
Speaker 2: and then I end up not using it. You know
Speaker 2: when you get so many text messages that you are
Speaker 2: so overwhelmed that you answer none of them. That's kind
Speaker 2: of what happens to me. So I might come on
Speaker 2: here next weekend. It's already deleted. Don't hold me to this,
Speaker 2: but I figured we might as well talk about dating
Speaker 2: and talk about what I've learned. I'm just reflecting on
Speaker 2: my experiences. We're meant to live life. Okay, we're meant
Speaker 2: to live life. And this isn't about scripts or rules.
Speaker 2: This is about your energy that you broadcast your self. Concept.
Speaker 2: My person might even find me on an app, but
Speaker 2: I probably will never get to his profile and delete
Speaker 2: it before I even connect with him, so then I'll
Speaker 2: just have to find me in the real world anyway,
Speaker 2: So good luck you future husband figure it out. I
Speaker 2: know you will, because I'm gonna marry you one day,
Speaker 2: so you must not be a stud. Nod and if
Speaker 2: you are unbecome one really quickly. Okay, I love you
Speaker 2: so much and I'll see you the next one.
Speaker 1: Sorryogy cancer comegy no cancer cancer