WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Cans, cansage.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not savy, And I know there's one million and

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<v Speaker 2>one thing's going on in the world right now, but

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<v Speaker 2>I think we should have a giggle and talk about dating.

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<v Speaker 2>What do you say? What do you say? Yeah, I

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<v Speaker 2>know people are beating each other up in the streets.

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<v Speaker 2>Well that's there. I know that there's just file after

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<v Speaker 2>file coming out. Can I just say I've been known

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<v Speaker 2>about that part since twenty twenty and I feel so validated.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel so validated. Look, the government is going to

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<v Speaker 2>do whatever it wants to do, so I just say

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<v Speaker 2>we follow suit, and we also do whatever we want

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<v Speaker 2>to do. Okay, fine, for readom let it rain. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't really believe in beating a dead horse. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>believe in talking about topics if I don't have a

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<v Speaker 2>solution at hands, because all it does is really lower

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<v Speaker 2>our vibration. Unless you're reading something to gain knowledge and

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<v Speaker 2>order to find a solution, talking about things that just

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<v Speaker 2>make you feel upset doesn't actually help you nor the planet.

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<v Speaker 2>The best thing you can do is hold yourself anchor

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<v Speaker 2>yourself in a higher vibration and broadcast that. So that's

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<v Speaker 2>what we're going to do, because we know as above

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<v Speaker 2>so below. The more we can place ourselves on our

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<v Speaker 2>own pedestal, the more we can raise our vibration, the

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<v Speaker 2>more that has a trickle down effect on this energetic

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<v Speaker 2>ocean that we all reside within. Now, my mother is

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<v Speaker 2>the culprit this week. Okay, we were sitting on the

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<v Speaker 2>couch and she was telling me Christa, Christa, Christa, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, yes, Janie, just download a dating app. It

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<v Speaker 2>will be funny. It's gonna be so fun I'm so

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<v Speaker 2>curious to see. I haven't been on a dating app

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<v Speaker 2>in god knows how long, and we've all known that.

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<v Speaker 2>I said I would never do it again. And now

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<v Speaker 2>I'm about to be a hypocrite because here I go,

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<v Speaker 2>and I can't lie about it. I won't lie about

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<v Speaker 2>it anyway. My mom is saying, Chris, to just download it.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to see what's out there. She thinks it's

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<v Speaker 2>so magnificent that we have dating apps. She doesn't understand

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<v Speaker 2>that it's not a big deal. But to her it

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<v Speaker 2>is a big deal because she's a boomer, and what

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<v Speaker 2>do boomers do but make big deals out of everything.

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<v Speaker 2>So she tells me download the app, and I said,

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<v Speaker 2>I'll only download it. If you are me on it,

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<v Speaker 2>you have to do it, because I'm not going to

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<v Speaker 2>do it. I want to talk about dating today. But

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<v Speaker 2>can I just tell you what this woman said, This

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<v Speaker 2>is the only reason I will ever have a dating

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<v Speaker 2>app on my phone is if my mom is actually

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<v Speaker 2>using it for me. These are some of her reactions.

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<v Speaker 2>One person wrote they were retired and she goes, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>retired and poor okay, ses she sees the photo of

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<v Speaker 2>a man and she goes, yep, couldn't look at him

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<v Speaker 2>all day. Someone wrote that they went to ole miss

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<v Speaker 2>and she goes, what is he talking about his grandmother for?

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<v Speaker 1>Like?

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<v Speaker 2>What are you talking about? Janis? She kept swiping and

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<v Speaker 2>then her next response was, Oh, this looks like a

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<v Speaker 2>desperate freak mother. Is that kind of you? Someone wrote

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<v Speaker 2>they were an entrepreneur and she says an entrepreneur making

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<v Speaker 2>a bowl of spaghetti? Like what does that even mean?

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<v Speaker 2>I will tell you I don't like dating apps. Watching

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<v Speaker 2>my mom experience a dating app love I love. There

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<v Speaker 2>should be a show about this. It was the funniest

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<v Speaker 2>moment of my life. I don't regret downloading it at all,

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<v Speaker 2>just to watch my mom experience it. I don't regret

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<v Speaker 2>downloading it at all, just because I get to see

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<v Speaker 2>through my mom's eyes on this technological app that she's

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<v Speaker 2>never got to experience for herself, and it was the

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<v Speaker 2>funniest thing that has ever happened to me in my

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<v Speaker 2>whole entire life. I think I want to make a

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<v Speaker 2>series where I don't really use the app, but it's

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<v Speaker 2>just my mom responding to people on the app, because

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<v Speaker 2>that is more joy than I fell in a really,

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<v Speaker 2>really long time. Anyway, re downloading the app, even just

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<v Speaker 2>having it on my phone, I started thinking about how

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<v Speaker 2>different my energy towards the apps are now than when

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<v Speaker 2>I first got on them. And I've said this before,

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<v Speaker 2>I'll say it again. I don't think the apps are

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<v Speaker 2>demonic or evil. I have met My seven year relationship

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<v Speaker 2>was on an app. I dated someone for about four

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<v Speaker 2>months they were on an app. I had many relationships

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<v Speaker 2>that I've learned so much through that came from an app.

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<v Speaker 2>And I want to talk about how to date in

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<v Speaker 2>your magnetic energy, whether you are on the apps or

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<v Speaker 2>you're just going out in the wild. I want to

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<v Speaker 2>talk about the embodiment, because the embodiment is the most

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<v Speaker 2>important thing. Whether you meet someone on an app or

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<v Speaker 2>in person or at work. Your energy determines everything. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>your higher self and your soulmates high your self, they

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<v Speaker 2>are figuring out ways to get you too. Aligned. You

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<v Speaker 2>don't have to do anything, you don't have to worry.

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<v Speaker 2>You just have to be focused on yourself, working on

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<v Speaker 2>your energy, and really making sure that you are creating

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<v Speaker 2>a fulfilling life. I have noticed key differences in myself

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<v Speaker 2>that I'm really proud about and I'm really excited to

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<v Speaker 2>share because I think it's gonna shift how we are

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<v Speaker 2>dating and how we're going about things before we get

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<v Speaker 2>into it. What's a positive bitches? How are you doing today?

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<v Speaker 2>If you're hearing this episode, then you are meant to

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<v Speaker 2>be here, So keep listening on that Bitch is Positive podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Sometimes we're gonna laugh. Other times, baby, we're gonna cry,

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<v Speaker 2>but we're always gonna walk away feeling our most empowered

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<v Speaker 2>positive bitch self. That is a babe and true connection

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<v Speaker 2>with herself, himself or self. You know, I don't care

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<v Speaker 2>if you are in Alligan. If you want to step

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<v Speaker 2>into your power, then this is the place to be

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<v Speaker 2>and I am your perfect guide. So welcome on this podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>We unbecome who we are not, so we can fully

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<v Speaker 2>step into exactly who we came here to be. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>maybe you're thinking, Krista, you said you were never going

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<v Speaker 2>on the apps again, and yeah, call me a hypocrite

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<v Speaker 2>here I am in my hypocrite energy. I don't really

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<v Speaker 2>believe in hardcore rules, even though I do have hardcore

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<v Speaker 2>rules for myself. Again, I'm a hypocrite whatever. I more

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<v Speaker 2>believe in following your intuition. I believe in following what

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<v Speaker 2>feels right in that moment, as long as it's not

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<v Speaker 2>a harm to you or another person. If you feel

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<v Speaker 2>an intuitive nudge to do something, then do it. Even

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<v Speaker 2>my real estate agent was like, Krista, I really think

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<v Speaker 2>you should get back on the apps. That's how he

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<v Speaker 2>met his wife or soon to be wife. And I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, yeah, thank you, but tried it, done it,

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<v Speaker 2>and I don't really feel like doing it anymore. Then

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<v Speaker 2>I had someone say, yeah, you might have tried it,

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<v Speaker 2>but you've never tried it in this exact energy that

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<v Speaker 2>you're in, and I said, yeah, that's fine, that's true,

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<v Speaker 2>but I really don't feel like it. And then with

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<v Speaker 2>my mom, I just had a feeling it was going

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<v Speaker 2>to be funny, so I did it, and again I

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<v Speaker 2>don't regret it at all. This is just so funny.

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<v Speaker 2>I have to make this a series. However, I want

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<v Speaker 2>to talk about the difference between how I feel about

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<v Speaker 2>it now, what I do now, both on an app

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<v Speaker 2>and off an app, and everything I've learned thus far,

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<v Speaker 2>because it's been a long freaking journey. The first thing

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<v Speaker 2>I've learned is I'm not going to lead with my

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<v Speaker 2>resume anymore. I will not do that. So probably a

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<v Speaker 2>year ago, when I was on dating apps, I had

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<v Speaker 2>one of the prompts, say what is something you're most

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<v Speaker 2>proud of? And I said starting my own business and

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<v Speaker 2>getting my book published. I felt like I wasn't enough,

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<v Speaker 2>so I had to subconsciously lead with what I've created,

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<v Speaker 2>what I have done, what I've accomplished. So I would

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<v Speaker 2>talk about the book that I wrote, the business I built.

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<v Speaker 2>But there are so many negative consequences of this, and

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<v Speaker 2>I think a lot of us as women want to

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<v Speaker 2>lead with I did this, and I did this, and

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<v Speaker 2>I did this because we've been trying to prove that

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<v Speaker 2>we are worthy since we've been born. It's such a disservice.

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<v Speaker 2>First of all, if you lead with what you have

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<v Speaker 2>built and what you have created, you're going to attract

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<v Speaker 2>a feminine man. Why would that be? Polarity like attracts like.

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<v Speaker 2>Except for polarity, we need feminine and masculine. It doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>matter if you're in a same sex couple. There's always

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<v Speaker 2>a feminine energy and a masculine energy. It doesn't matter

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<v Speaker 2>who you are or where you are, what your race is,

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't matter your ethnicity. There is always a yin and

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<v Speaker 2>a yang. When I was leading with my yang, what

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<v Speaker 2>I've built, what I've done, I kept attracting feminine men,

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<v Speaker 2>and on top of that, I would attract people who

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<v Speaker 2>made me feel like I wasn't enough Because I already

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<v Speaker 2>had that seat inside of me. I already felt like

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<v Speaker 2>I wasn't good enough. I already felt like I needed validation.

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<v Speaker 2>I already was starving for someone to tell me how

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<v Speaker 2>proud they were of me. That I would lead with insecurity,

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<v Speaker 2>which only really planted more insecurity to grow in my life.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought that because I didn't feel inherently enough, I

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<v Speaker 2>had to prove that I was. Another part of this

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<v Speaker 2>was I wanted someone successful, so I felt like I

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<v Speaker 2>had to prove that I myself was successful but that's

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<v Speaker 2>not power. It was insecurity, and I now realize, Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>it's not what I've built or what I've done that

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<v Speaker 2>is magnificent or worthy or valuable. It is me. It's

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<v Speaker 2>just me. It's my energy. My energy is the gift,

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<v Speaker 2>not what I've done on the planet. Some of my

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<v Speaker 2>clients have literally told me, I signed up just because

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<v Speaker 2>I needed to sit in your energy for forty five minutes.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes we do the work, Yes we do the healing,

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<v Speaker 2>Yes we talk, but transmission is the real art of

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<v Speaker 2>it all. Me channeling divine energy to my client. That

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<v Speaker 2>is the real work. This even goes for friendship and

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<v Speaker 2>work partnership. Actually, this goes for everything. I recently was

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<v Speaker 2>talking to someone about doing a brand deal, and I

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<v Speaker 2>would not drop my price. I said, no, if you

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<v Speaker 2>can't meet me here, then we're not working together. I

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<v Speaker 2>rather have a zero dollars from you. If you can't

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<v Speaker 2>pay me what I know I'm worth, then no, we're done.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't need to sell myself. I don't need to perform.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't need to prove. And this is not a

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<v Speaker 2>concept anymore. This is in action. This is embodiment. I

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<v Speaker 2>actually don't want someone who potentially wants to date me,

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<v Speaker 2>to even though I published a book, to even know

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<v Speaker 2>I have a following, to even know what my business

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<v Speaker 2>is doing. I don't even want them to know, because

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want them to like me for it. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't you have to like me for me, for my energy,

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<v Speaker 2>for what I embody or else. Get out of here,

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<v Speaker 2>because if I attracted you because of what I built,

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<v Speaker 2>your feminine man, and I want nothing to do with you.

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<v Speaker 2>I just need to be me and my person will

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<v Speaker 2>see me, value me, and love me. You need to

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<v Speaker 2>remember that it's not about your degree or certification, or

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<v Speaker 2>what you built or what you saved. It's about you

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<v Speaker 2>as a divine, feminine energy. Your energy is what makes

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<v Speaker 2>a house a home. Your essence is the magic. On

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<v Speaker 2>top of lesson one comes lesson two. I realize, right,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't have to prove I'm successful in order to

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<v Speaker 2>attract a successful man. I don't necessarily need to be

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<v Speaker 2>matched in the physical I need to be complimented. If

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<v Speaker 2>you think about let's say you're on a soccer team,

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<v Speaker 2>you don't want someone with your same exact strength. You

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<v Speaker 2>need someone who's a good goalie, someone who's good on defense,

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<v Speaker 2>someone who's good on offense. You need people with different

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<v Speaker 2>strengths to make a good team. I used to think

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<v Speaker 2>I need someone who knows exactly what I know, who

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<v Speaker 2>can meet me exactly and every single thing in my brain.

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<v Speaker 2>But that's not true. Those things are my strengths. That's

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<v Speaker 2>what I bring into a loving relationship, That's what I broadcast.

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<v Speaker 2>What I actually need is someone to balance me so

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<v Speaker 2>we make a good team. What I actually need is

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<v Speaker 2>someone who's mastered the physical world in a way that

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<v Speaker 2>allows me to relax into my flow. I need someone

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<v Speaker 2>who creates safety, especially financial safety, so I don't have

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<v Speaker 2>to be stressed out and I can be the channel

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<v Speaker 2>that I am so I can focus on my arnt,

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<v Speaker 2>my creation. I don't need someone coming into my orbit

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<v Speaker 2>and making my life more difficult. You either make my

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<v Speaker 2>life easier or there's no point. And why is that?

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<v Speaker 2>I have to protect my mission. I'm on divine assignment

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<v Speaker 2>and above all else, it must be protected. So if

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<v Speaker 2>you want to hate yourself through me, you have to go.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're gonna get insecure, you have to go. If

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<v Speaker 2>you're going to attack my light, you have to go.

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<v Speaker 2>I tried to date people who maybe they were figuring

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<v Speaker 2>things out. Maybe they had a potential, maybe this maybe

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<v Speaker 2>that it never works. It never works because they end

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<v Speaker 2>up hating you for doing what they cannot. They hate

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<v Speaker 2>you for doing what they cannot. I realize I do

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<v Speaker 2>not have to have what I require in another I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not requiring my future husband to understand energy the way

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<v Speaker 2>I do, to be the channel that I am. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not requiring that. I'm not requiring him to write books

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<v Speaker 2>or have online courses or following. I am requiring different

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<v Speaker 2>things though a healthy bank account, a healthy human more

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<v Speaker 2>financially stable than me. I would really desire that someone

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<v Speaker 2>who has their shit figured out even more than me.

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<v Speaker 2>If you can teach me something, you're in, if you

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<v Speaker 2>have intellect, you're in shared values. Even if we have

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<v Speaker 2>different strengths, we are not here to be the same.

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<v Speaker 2>We're here to be a team. And I would just

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<v Speaker 2>feel so insecure. Well, if I don't have X amount

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<v Speaker 2>of dollars, and how can I require that of my partner?

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<v Speaker 2>Actually I need that. It's a need, it's a requirement,

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<v Speaker 2>it's a standard, and I'm standing on that standard. I

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00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:50.799
<v Speaker 2>think about my mother and father. They do not have

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00:14:51.279 --> 00:14:54.919
<v Speaker 2>the same strengths they have exact opposite strengths, and that

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00:14:55.120 --> 00:14:57.600
<v Speaker 2>is what has made my life so much better. I

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00:14:57.600 --> 00:15:00.360
<v Speaker 2>could go to my mother for something more emotional, father

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00:15:00.480 --> 00:15:03.720
<v Speaker 2>for something more intellectual. I need someone who is a

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<v Speaker 2>great compliment to me. So as you're dating, instead of

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00:15:06.919 --> 00:15:09.960
<v Speaker 2>looking for someone who knows every conspiracy theory that you do,

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00:15:10.720 --> 00:15:14.240
<v Speaker 2>who lives in the same exact world that you live in,

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<v Speaker 2>look for someone who compliments your reality, who compliments your energy,

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<v Speaker 2>who compliments you, Who's going to make a good team

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<v Speaker 2>for your future children if you choose to have them,

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<v Speaker 2>for your future businesses, if you choose to do that together,

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<v Speaker 2>you need someone who is going to compliment you, not

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<v Speaker 2>be exactly you. Number three. I no longer attach meaning

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<v Speaker 2>when there is none. Now this is just my experiences

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00:15:43.159 --> 00:15:46.080
<v Speaker 2>dating that the people I've been meeting out and about

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<v Speaker 2>if someone doesn't follow up, or there's no second date,

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00:15:49.480 --> 00:15:52.759
<v Speaker 2>or if they disappear. I used to spiral with a

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00:15:52.840 --> 00:15:56.080
<v Speaker 2>capital S. I used to think, why what did I do?

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<v Speaker 2>What does this mean? And now I've realized when people

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00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:04.360
<v Speaker 2>meet me subconsciously, if they feel like they can't emotionally

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00:16:04.399 --> 00:16:08.159
<v Speaker 2>meet me, intellectually, meet me financially meet me, they bow out,

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<v Speaker 2>they bow out. They might not want to do the

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00:16:11.000 --> 00:16:13.559
<v Speaker 2>work to rise, and I don't want to wait for

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00:16:13.600 --> 00:16:16.240
<v Speaker 2>them to do the rising either, So I'm so happy

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<v Speaker 2>to just say goodbye. I don't attach a story that's

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00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:23.039
<v Speaker 2>gonna hurt me. I don't attach a story of but

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<v Speaker 2>what if it could be? No, you're clearly not my person,

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<v Speaker 2>because my person would stay, my person would fight for me,

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00:16:28.639 --> 00:16:32.279
<v Speaker 2>my person would do more. And you know, peace be

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00:16:32.399 --> 00:16:35.639
<v Speaker 2>with you. Jesus wept. I'm good now. I'm just one

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00:16:35.679 --> 00:16:38.960
<v Speaker 2>step closer to my husband, and that makes me excited.

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00:16:39.159 --> 00:16:42.759
<v Speaker 2>That makes me happy. If someone can't give you what

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00:16:42.799 --> 00:16:45.879
<v Speaker 2>you want while you're dating, don't cling on to who

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00:16:45.919 --> 00:16:49.080
<v Speaker 2>they could be, who you wish they could one day become.

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<v Speaker 2>Just say thank you so much for leaving my life

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<v Speaker 2>so I can now become one step closer to my husband,

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00:16:56.480 --> 00:16:59.679
<v Speaker 2>so I can now get one step closer to finding

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00:17:00.279 --> 00:17:04.519
<v Speaker 2>my truth, my clarity. It is magic. Honestly, when someone

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00:17:04.680 --> 00:17:08.839
<v Speaker 2>drops out of my reality, I have no emotional reaction

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00:17:09.559 --> 00:17:12.400
<v Speaker 2>besides happiness. I think great, they left, so I don't

296
00:17:12.440 --> 00:17:16.720
<v Speaker 2>have to cut them out. Awesome. Number four. I no

297
00:17:16.839 --> 00:17:23.519
<v Speaker 2>longer choose intensity over intentionality. I used to prioritize chemistry,

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00:17:23.720 --> 00:17:26.839
<v Speaker 2>the spark, the familiar feeling, Oh my god, I've known

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00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:31.799
<v Speaker 2>you before. I still require a soul recognition, but it's

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00:17:31.880 --> 00:17:35.160
<v Speaker 2>not the only thing that's going to put me into

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00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:38.359
<v Speaker 2>a dynamic with someone. I would meet someone and have

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00:17:38.400 --> 00:17:41.039
<v Speaker 2>soul recognition and think that's all I need. They're cute,

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00:17:41.079 --> 00:17:44.880
<v Speaker 2>they're kind. The sole recognition is there, but maybe they

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00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:47.519
<v Speaker 2>don't have their shit figured out, or maybe they're in transition,

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00:17:47.720 --> 00:17:51.480
<v Speaker 2>or maybe they live too far. If that is there,

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00:17:51.640 --> 00:17:55.440
<v Speaker 2>it's over. It's over before it started. When I'm with

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00:17:55.480 --> 00:17:58.720
<v Speaker 2>someone who doesn't have their life together and I do

308
00:17:59.160 --> 00:18:01.160
<v Speaker 2>like I said, they get and secure, they start bleeding

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00:18:01.160 --> 00:18:02.759
<v Speaker 2>on me, they hate themselves through me. I'm just not

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00:18:02.839 --> 00:18:07.440
<v Speaker 2>doing it anymore. I feel so much freer being intentional

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00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:11.799
<v Speaker 2>rather than just having this feeling lead me. I even

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00:18:11.839 --> 00:18:14.079
<v Speaker 2>think in the Bible it says something about the heart

313
00:18:14.279 --> 00:18:18.720
<v Speaker 2>may deceive you. Sometimes your feelings do deceive you. Sole

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00:18:18.839 --> 00:18:21.880
<v Speaker 2>recognition is real, but you have to translate what your

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00:18:21.920 --> 00:18:24.920
<v Speaker 2>soul's even recognizing. Is this someone that you've had a

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00:18:24.920 --> 00:18:27.119
<v Speaker 2>traumatic pass with. Is this someone you have to clear

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00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:30.039
<v Speaker 2>karmo with? Is this someone who's going to be a

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00:18:30.119 --> 00:18:33.240
<v Speaker 2>soul relationship where they can give you love and expand

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00:18:33.279 --> 00:18:36.480
<v Speaker 2>your heart. Just because their sole recognition doesn't mean you're

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00:18:37.079 --> 00:18:38.759
<v Speaker 2>going to be their wife. It doesn't mean they are

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00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:40.480
<v Speaker 2>your husband. It doesn't mean that you're meant to be

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00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:43.680
<v Speaker 2>together forever. It just means sole recognition, point blank period.

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<v Speaker 2>That's it. That's it. That's it. I've gone through so

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00:18:47.079 --> 00:18:50.400
<v Speaker 2>many karma relationships that now I'm like, all right, yeah,

325
00:18:50.680 --> 00:18:52.920
<v Speaker 2>maybe I recognize you on a soul level, but that's

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00:18:53.000 --> 00:18:56.200
<v Speaker 2>not enough to have a relationship that is not a

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00:18:56.240 --> 00:19:00.400
<v Speaker 2>stable foundation. Familiarity of a soul is not a stable foundation.

328
00:19:00.839 --> 00:19:03.559
<v Speaker 2>It just means our soul is familiar. That's it. So

329
00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:09.799
<v Speaker 2>now I'm looking for intentionality over intensity, compatibility over potential,

330
00:19:10.079 --> 00:19:13.400
<v Speaker 2>and stability over fantasy. I don't care who you could be.

331
00:19:13.839 --> 00:19:15.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't care what you think you can do. I

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00:19:15.960 --> 00:19:17.799
<v Speaker 2>actually don't care what you say. I have one guy

333
00:19:17.839 --> 00:19:19.640
<v Speaker 2>that I was dating always tell me I just want

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00:19:19.680 --> 00:19:20.839
<v Speaker 2>to take care of you. I just want to take

335
00:19:20.839 --> 00:19:24.480
<v Speaker 2>care of you. Then do it. Do it if that's

336
00:19:24.519 --> 00:19:26.960
<v Speaker 2>what you want to do so badly. Do it. When

337
00:19:27.000 --> 00:19:29.319
<v Speaker 2>I say I want to lose weight, I do it.

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00:19:29.680 --> 00:19:31.480
<v Speaker 2>When I say I want to make more money, I

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00:19:31.680 --> 00:19:33.359
<v Speaker 2>do it. When I say I'm going to go to

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00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:35.519
<v Speaker 2>a workout class, I do it. When I make plans,

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00:19:35.559 --> 00:19:38.160
<v Speaker 2>I go to them. I don't just say what I

342
00:19:38.279 --> 00:19:40.680
<v Speaker 2>would do what I want to do. I do the

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00:19:40.720 --> 00:19:42.759
<v Speaker 2>things I say I want to do. I don't have

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00:19:42.839 --> 00:19:46.960
<v Speaker 2>these flimsy, whimsical desires that have no goal or action plan.

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<v Speaker 2>I simply do what I want to do. Don't get

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<v Speaker 2>caught up in people's words. Number five, I stand on

347
00:19:55.519 --> 00:20:00.000
<v Speaker 2>my standards without explaining them. My standards are my standards

348
00:20:00.039 --> 00:20:04.799
<v Speaker 2>because they're my standards. Okay, that's it. You don't have

349
00:20:04.839 --> 00:20:06.599
<v Speaker 2>to like them, you don't have to agree with them.

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<v Speaker 2>You are free to leave my reality goodbye. Don't let

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00:20:10.119 --> 00:20:13.680
<v Speaker 2>the door hit you on the way outside. And nah huh.

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<v Speaker 2>I've never looked at a man with high standards and thought, wow,

353
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<v Speaker 2>there's really something wrong with you. Should lower your standard.

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00:20:20.279 --> 00:20:22.440
<v Speaker 2>I don't think that way. You know I. You know

355
00:20:22.599 --> 00:20:27.000
<v Speaker 2>I because I have self worth. When someone in my

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00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:29.039
<v Speaker 2>past has tried to tell me your standard is too

357
00:20:29.119 --> 00:20:31.519
<v Speaker 2>high or this or that, they're just saying that because

358
00:20:31.519 --> 00:20:35.359
<v Speaker 2>they can't meet it. Awkward way to expose yourself. Just

359
00:20:35.400 --> 00:20:39.359
<v Speaker 2>move out of my husband's way. When someone attacks your standards.

360
00:20:39.359 --> 00:20:42.680
<v Speaker 2>It's because they feel they are below them. That's not

361
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<v Speaker 2>your problem, that's a them pattern. Let it go. Let

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00:20:46.599 --> 00:20:51.119
<v Speaker 2>it go, I will say, since downloading this app, I

363
00:20:51.319 --> 00:20:54.599
<v Speaker 2>can just feel as soon as I see someone's profile,

364
00:20:54.880 --> 00:20:58.240
<v Speaker 2>what they're about and what they're doing. I'm just gonna

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<v Speaker 2>say this, I have not had these ex experiences on

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<v Speaker 2>the app. Yex I'm really not using it. When I

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00:21:04.279 --> 00:21:06.920
<v Speaker 2>used to be on the app, I would allow men

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<v Speaker 2>to talk to me forever before actually doing anything about it.

369
00:21:11.880 --> 00:21:14.960
<v Speaker 2>And I've had men literally tell me they use the

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<v Speaker 2>dating apps for validation. They just use it because they're bored.

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<v Speaker 2>They just want to see what else is out there.

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<v Speaker 2>Be really intentional about where you give your time and

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00:21:25.799 --> 00:21:30.839
<v Speaker 2>your energy. If they don't immediately ask you out, you're done.

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00:21:30.920 --> 00:21:32.759
<v Speaker 2>If they ask you to come over for a movie,

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<v Speaker 2>you're done. If they are trying to text you all day,

376
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<v Speaker 2>how are you good? How are you? How are you?

377
00:21:39.519 --> 00:21:43.359
<v Speaker 2>How are you? They're done. You gotta understand not everyone

378
00:21:43.440 --> 00:21:46.400
<v Speaker 2>on the app is being as intentional as you. Not

379
00:21:46.519 --> 00:21:49.359
<v Speaker 2>everyone wants the same things. Not everyone wants to treat

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<v Speaker 2>you with respect. Some people are just looking to get

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00:21:52.839 --> 00:21:58.559
<v Speaker 2>a quick fix. Okay, Be discerning in real life, at

382
00:21:58.599 --> 00:22:03.759
<v Speaker 2>the workplace, on an app, on Instagram. Be discerning about

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00:22:03.799 --> 00:22:09.240
<v Speaker 2>who you allow into your reality, that's all. And when

384
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<v Speaker 2>you notice I can't give you what you want, that's

385
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<v Speaker 2>not an invitation for you to prove yourself. It's a

386
00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:18.880
<v Speaker 2>reminder to remove them, unmatch them. They are not yours. Oh,

387
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<v Speaker 2>I totally forgot to say. The only reason I even

388
00:22:23.160 --> 00:22:26.960
<v Speaker 2>allowed my mother to convince me to re download a

389
00:22:27.039 --> 00:22:30.720
<v Speaker 2>dating app is because she used to tell me every

390
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<v Speaker 2>other week, chrisa just get on the apps, like I

391
00:22:32.680 --> 00:22:34.960
<v Speaker 2>have a feeling like to see what's out there. And

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<v Speaker 2>I would tell her, a, Janie, I don't need to

393
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<v Speaker 2>do that. Men come up to me. I walk outside

394
00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:40.880
<v Speaker 2>and breathe and there's a man in my face. Out

395
00:22:40.920 --> 00:22:44.000
<v Speaker 2>of the clouds. I think, where did you even come from?

396
00:22:44.599 --> 00:22:47.039
<v Speaker 2>I don't need the apps. And I would tell her that.

397
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<v Speaker 2>And I also told her until I'm done with my

398
00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:54.079
<v Speaker 2>second book, no, it's a hard no. After if you

399
00:22:54.160 --> 00:22:55.920
<v Speaker 2>still want me to and you feel like you have

400
00:22:56.000 --> 00:23:00.000
<v Speaker 2>this motherly intuition of something, then maybe afterwards. But right now,

401
00:23:00.359 --> 00:23:04.200
<v Speaker 2>like I am way too busy, and honestly, I'm still

402
00:23:04.200 --> 00:23:07.440
<v Speaker 2>too busy. That's why I can't really answer people, because

403
00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:11.799
<v Speaker 2>right now I'm doing a new detox, I'm on a cleanse.

404
00:23:12.039 --> 00:23:15.079
<v Speaker 2>I'm really serious about it. If I do something, I

405
00:23:15.119 --> 00:23:17.640
<v Speaker 2>do not cheat. My mom was thinking she was gonna

406
00:23:17.640 --> 00:23:19.559
<v Speaker 2>do it too, and she asked me, can I cheat?

407
00:23:19.559 --> 00:23:21.480
<v Speaker 2>I go why would you cheat? You just cheat yourself.

408
00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:25.359
<v Speaker 2>Make it make sense. I'm going through a major rebrand.

409
00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:28.119
<v Speaker 2>I have so many things. Oh, I'm in the process

410
00:23:28.160 --> 00:23:31.039
<v Speaker 2>of I can't even remember the process of moving, Like,

411
00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:34.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't have time to be like, hey, how are

412
00:23:34.519 --> 00:23:39.960
<v Speaker 2>you The weather's so nice. I don't give a flying duck.

413
00:23:40.119 --> 00:23:42.200
<v Speaker 2>I don't give a flying duck about what the weather

414
00:23:42.279 --> 00:23:46.039
<v Speaker 2>is doing. I don't care. Either do something or don't.

415
00:23:46.200 --> 00:23:52.400
<v Speaker 2>Just ugh, I'm really fun. Oh. And the other thing

416
00:23:52.480 --> 00:23:55.200
<v Speaker 2>is I literally do not drink ever, ever, ever, ever, ever.

417
00:23:55.359 --> 00:23:57.519
<v Speaker 2>I don't. I'm not doing the drinking thing. My health

418
00:23:57.559 --> 00:23:59.400
<v Speaker 2>is way too important to me to ever have a

419
00:23:59.400 --> 00:24:02.319
<v Speaker 2>sip of alcol literally ever again. And maybe one day

420
00:24:02.359 --> 00:24:04.400
<v Speaker 2>I'll be like, hey, guys, I'm a hypocrite again. I

421
00:24:04.400 --> 00:24:06.960
<v Speaker 2>don't think so. Though. Also, that's so different when dating,

422
00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:10.039
<v Speaker 2>because now if I see a guy who has pictures

423
00:24:10.039 --> 00:24:13.039
<v Speaker 2>with alcohol, ill, if I see a man in a

424
00:24:13.079 --> 00:24:16.960
<v Speaker 2>sports jersey ill, and maybe I'll eat my words one day,

425
00:24:17.079 --> 00:24:21.279
<v Speaker 2>I don't think. So, why are you wearing another man's jersey.

426
00:24:21.359 --> 00:24:23.480
<v Speaker 2>You've made an idol out of a man who doesn't

427
00:24:23.519 --> 00:24:26.680
<v Speaker 2>even know you. You have put a man on a

428
00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:29.160
<v Speaker 2>pedestal who doesn't even know you. You pay that man's

429
00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:35.720
<v Speaker 2>bills and he doesn't even know you. I can't. And

430
00:24:35.759 --> 00:24:38.920
<v Speaker 2>maybe you're thinking, Chris, so you're so judgmental. You're damn right.

431
00:24:39.000 --> 00:24:43.799
<v Speaker 2>I am. Yeah. God gave me a brain. Don't use it,

432
00:24:43.839 --> 00:24:45.799
<v Speaker 2>and I will judge. I will judge you, and I

433
00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:49.359
<v Speaker 2>will make conclusions off those judgments. Thank you. Number six.

434
00:24:50.440 --> 00:24:52.880
<v Speaker 2>My solitude is so good you have to compete with it.

435
00:24:53.680 --> 00:24:55.559
<v Speaker 2>I think this is one of the more important ones.

436
00:24:55.759 --> 00:24:57.319
<v Speaker 2>There was a time when I would be on dating

437
00:24:57.359 --> 00:24:59.279
<v Speaker 2>apps that I would just let way too much ship fly.

438
00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:03.640
<v Speaker 2>At this point, like I've said, I'm really busy. I'm

439
00:25:03.680 --> 00:25:07.079
<v Speaker 2>literally cultivating empire, if you will, okay a whole queendom.

440
00:25:07.640 --> 00:25:10.079
<v Speaker 2>I love my energy, I love my life, I love

441
00:25:10.119 --> 00:25:13.240
<v Speaker 2>my solitude. So the person I choose has to be

442
00:25:13.319 --> 00:25:15.440
<v Speaker 2>so good that I'm willing to trade some of that

443
00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:20.000
<v Speaker 2>solitude for that person. And I'm not gonna go on

444
00:25:21.480 --> 00:25:23.200
<v Speaker 2>this is my new thing that I want to I

445
00:25:23.279 --> 00:25:26.119
<v Speaker 2>used to kind of like a walk to get to

446
00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:29.279
<v Speaker 2>know someone before dinner. But now if there's a question

447
00:25:29.319 --> 00:25:30.720
<v Speaker 2>if I like you, I don't want to go on

448
00:25:30.720 --> 00:25:32.920
<v Speaker 2>a walk with you. I used to like to just

449
00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:34.680
<v Speaker 2>fit it into my schedule. I don't want to do

450
00:25:34.720 --> 00:25:37.039
<v Speaker 2>it anymore. I've done enough. And sometimes you have to

451
00:25:37.119 --> 00:25:40.079
<v Speaker 2>experience something to come out of the other end of

452
00:25:40.119 --> 00:25:43.720
<v Speaker 2>it and think, actually, this doesn't work for me. The

453
00:25:43.759 --> 00:25:45.920
<v Speaker 2>person I choose has to be so amazing that I'm

454
00:25:45.960 --> 00:25:48.119
<v Speaker 2>willing to trade my alone time or my time with

455
00:25:48.160 --> 00:25:50.960
<v Speaker 2>God with them. And that's gonna be a high bar,

456
00:25:51.240 --> 00:25:54.960
<v Speaker 2>and I'm not dropping that bar. I couldn't have gotten

457
00:25:54.960 --> 00:25:57.599
<v Speaker 2>into this headspace though, without falling in love with myself,

458
00:25:57.640 --> 00:26:01.480
<v Speaker 2>building my life and becoming my own safety. If you

459
00:26:01.519 --> 00:26:04.200
<v Speaker 2>don't have your ducks in a row, do not try

460
00:26:04.200 --> 00:26:06.799
<v Speaker 2>to get into a relationship. I used to want a

461
00:26:06.839 --> 00:26:10.000
<v Speaker 2>relationship as a distraction from my life. My life is

462
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:12.720
<v Speaker 2>so busy right now. I don't have time for distractions.

463
00:26:13.119 --> 00:26:18.200
<v Speaker 2>So my gates that are opened for love or a

464
00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:22.559
<v Speaker 2>relationship are it's so narrow. Who's gonna get in? They

465
00:26:22.599 --> 00:26:25.000
<v Speaker 2>have to be the best of the best. They can't

466
00:26:25.039 --> 00:26:27.400
<v Speaker 2>just be mumbo jumbo whatever. You have to be the

467
00:26:27.400 --> 00:26:29.640
<v Speaker 2>best of the best, because I literally don't have time

468
00:26:29.640 --> 00:26:33.279
<v Speaker 2>to waste. I don't I'm a busy person. If you're

469
00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:35.839
<v Speaker 2>not giving the positive energy, if you're not adding to

470
00:26:35.880 --> 00:26:38.279
<v Speaker 2>my life, what are we doing. I'm gonna add to

471
00:26:38.319 --> 00:26:41.400
<v Speaker 2>your life. I know what I add. So if you're

472
00:26:41.400 --> 00:26:45.920
<v Speaker 2>not doing the same, what are we doing? Number seven

473
00:26:46.319 --> 00:26:49.599
<v Speaker 2>is this is my favorite thing. Actually, when I re

474
00:26:49.759 --> 00:26:53.640
<v Speaker 2>downloaded the app and my mom was on it, I've

475
00:26:53.680 --> 00:26:57.359
<v Speaker 2>realized I don't get this high from it anymore, which

476
00:26:57.519 --> 00:27:01.759
<v Speaker 2>is amazing. I'm so happy. And it surprised me though,

477
00:27:01.759 --> 00:27:03.680
<v Speaker 2>because I used to get such a high from like Ooh,

478
00:27:03.720 --> 00:27:06.519
<v Speaker 2>who's this? Who's that? It used to give me a

479
00:27:06.599 --> 00:27:09.480
<v Speaker 2>rush because it was a distraction. I didn't like where

480
00:27:09.480 --> 00:27:12.160
<v Speaker 2>my business was, or I wanted more in life, and

481
00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:14.599
<v Speaker 2>instead of focusing on building that, I would just go

482
00:27:14.640 --> 00:27:20.200
<v Speaker 2>and date and distract. And now it's like the book

483
00:27:20.240 --> 00:27:23.400
<v Speaker 2>that I just finished writing is so much more interesting

484
00:27:23.480 --> 00:27:26.920
<v Speaker 2>than any of these people's conversations. My life is interesting,

485
00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:30.000
<v Speaker 2>my friends are interesting, my inner world is richer. That

486
00:27:31.400 --> 00:27:35.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't need. I don't need a distraction. I don't

487
00:27:35.960 --> 00:27:37.519
<v Speaker 2>even have time for it, but even if I did,

488
00:27:37.599 --> 00:27:40.119
<v Speaker 2>I don't need it and I don't want it because

489
00:27:40.359 --> 00:27:44.039
<v Speaker 2>I'm building something that's important to me. So when I

490
00:27:44.119 --> 00:27:46.440
<v Speaker 2>meet someone or connect with someone who can't meet me,

491
00:27:46.720 --> 00:27:50.240
<v Speaker 2>it's so easy to walk away because I have something

492
00:27:50.319 --> 00:27:54.039
<v Speaker 2>to walk into, I have somewhere to rest my head,

493
00:27:54.039 --> 00:27:56.119
<v Speaker 2>I have something to look forward to and to build.

494
00:27:56.599 --> 00:27:59.400
<v Speaker 2>There's no drama, there's no attachment, there's no story. I

495
00:27:59.640 --> 00:28:04.559
<v Speaker 2>just disconnect from them in the easiest, healthiest possible way

496
00:28:05.279 --> 00:28:11.759
<v Speaker 2>because there's just there's no cord there. And I really think,

497
00:28:11.799 --> 00:28:14.920
<v Speaker 2>if you're gonna date, please do it when you get

498
00:28:14.960 --> 00:28:18.160
<v Speaker 2>to a place where you feel good about yourself, where

499
00:28:18.200 --> 00:28:21.279
<v Speaker 2>you feel powerful in who you are. I dated when

500
00:28:21.319 --> 00:28:24.000
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't powerful. I've dated when I was insecure, and

501
00:28:24.039 --> 00:28:26.559
<v Speaker 2>I still attracted people who taught me things, and that's fine.

502
00:28:26.599 --> 00:28:30.480
<v Speaker 2>But it's such a better experience just meeting people and

503
00:28:30.519 --> 00:28:33.799
<v Speaker 2>going out and dating as someone who knows who they are,

504
00:28:34.519 --> 00:28:38.119
<v Speaker 2>because I'm less willing to accept low quality experiences or

505
00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:42.240
<v Speaker 2>low vibrational people. I have a backbone because I'm protecting myself,

506
00:28:42.279 --> 00:28:46.519
<v Speaker 2>my inner child and what I've built. Number eight, I

507
00:28:46.599 --> 00:28:48.759
<v Speaker 2>just feel like saying this. I think it's important. I'm

508
00:28:48.880 --> 00:28:51.559
<v Speaker 2>always going to admit that I want love. I love love,

509
00:28:51.680 --> 00:28:54.400
<v Speaker 2>and I want it. I think some people get bitter

510
00:28:54.480 --> 00:28:58.039
<v Speaker 2>and they try to pretend I'm fine without a relationship.

511
00:28:58.240 --> 00:29:00.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't need no, man, I don't need Okay, well,

512
00:29:00.680 --> 00:29:03.279
<v Speaker 2>I want one, Hi, I want one. I want one.

513
00:29:04.200 --> 00:29:06.960
<v Speaker 2>I care. I love love. I'm not going to force

514
00:29:07.000 --> 00:29:09.880
<v Speaker 2>something that's misaligned. I'm not going to make a square

515
00:29:09.880 --> 00:29:12.880
<v Speaker 2>peg fit into a round hole. Absolutely not. My standard

516
00:29:13.000 --> 00:29:15.799
<v Speaker 2>is high, and I'm sitting on that standard. I'm standing

517
00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:19.839
<v Speaker 2>on that standard. I really have an amazing idea of

518
00:29:19.920 --> 00:29:23.519
<v Speaker 2>what I desire and not willing to settle. But I'm

519
00:29:23.559 --> 00:29:26.480
<v Speaker 2>also not going to deny that I desire divine union.

520
00:29:27.400 --> 00:29:32.279
<v Speaker 2>And I really believe that my process of divine union

521
00:29:32.559 --> 00:29:35.799
<v Speaker 2>is meant to be shown with other people. I think

522
00:29:35.839 --> 00:29:38.240
<v Speaker 2>it's meant to be shared with other people. I think

523
00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:41.599
<v Speaker 2>I'm meant to experience this publicly because we're going to

524
00:29:41.720 --> 00:29:46.119
<v Speaker 2>learn a lot from each other. Denial doesn't make you powerful.

525
00:29:46.519 --> 00:29:50.240
<v Speaker 2>Honesty does. And that's why I'm even being honest that

526
00:29:52.359 --> 00:29:56.680
<v Speaker 2>my mother finally got one over me, damn it, and

527
00:29:56.680 --> 00:29:59.440
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna see what happens. I might delete this tomorrow

528
00:29:59.559 --> 00:30:01.799
<v Speaker 2>or in like two hours. So don't hold me to

529
00:30:01.960 --> 00:30:03.960
<v Speaker 2>actually using this app. I don't know if I will.

530
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:08.039
<v Speaker 2>I don't know I even when I had it a

531
00:30:08.119 --> 00:30:10.920
<v Speaker 2>year ago. I would never scroll on the dating apps.

532
00:30:11.119 --> 00:30:14.279
<v Speaker 2>I'll either accept you or deny you. But there's just

533
00:30:14.319 --> 00:30:19.599
<v Speaker 2>so many people on there. It's like overwhelming to me,

534
00:30:19.640 --> 00:30:21.759
<v Speaker 2>and then I end up not using it. You know

535
00:30:21.799 --> 00:30:23.680
<v Speaker 2>when you get so many text messages that you are

536
00:30:23.720 --> 00:30:25.640
<v Speaker 2>so overwhelmed that you answer none of them. That's kind

537
00:30:25.680 --> 00:30:30.759
<v Speaker 2>of what happens to me. So I might come on

538
00:30:30.799 --> 00:30:33.720
<v Speaker 2>here next weekend. It's already deleted. Don't hold me to this,

539
00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:36.720
<v Speaker 2>but I figured we might as well talk about dating

540
00:30:36.839 --> 00:30:38.920
<v Speaker 2>and talk about what I've learned. I'm just reflecting on

541
00:30:39.000 --> 00:30:42.400
<v Speaker 2>my experiences. We're meant to live life. Okay, we're meant

542
00:30:42.440 --> 00:30:44.920
<v Speaker 2>to live life. And this isn't about scripts or rules.

543
00:30:45.039 --> 00:30:48.279
<v Speaker 2>This is about your energy that you broadcast your self. Concept.

544
00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:50.920
<v Speaker 2>My person might even find me on an app, but

545
00:30:50.960 --> 00:30:53.559
<v Speaker 2>I probably will never get to his profile and delete

546
00:30:53.559 --> 00:30:55.680
<v Speaker 2>it before I even connect with him, so then I'll

547
00:30:55.680 --> 00:30:57.279
<v Speaker 2>just have to find me in the real world anyway,

548
00:30:58.400 --> 00:31:03.799
<v Speaker 2>So good luck you future husband figure it out. I

549
00:31:03.839 --> 00:31:05.960
<v Speaker 2>know you will, because I'm gonna marry you one day,

550
00:31:06.000 --> 00:31:09.039
<v Speaker 2>so you must not be a stud. Nod and if

551
00:31:09.079 --> 00:31:11.799
<v Speaker 2>you are unbecome one really quickly. Okay, I love you

552
00:31:11.799 --> 00:31:13.079
<v Speaker 2>so much and I'll see you the next one.

553
00:31:18.440 --> 00:31:43.119
<v Speaker 1>Sorryogy cancer comegy no cancer cancer