WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Starting off of the Minnesota Goodbye. This one came in

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<v Speaker 1>not via email, but a Facebook messenger message. I want

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<v Speaker 1>to say thank you Dave and the crew. My name

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<v Speaker 1>is Heimi or Hima Hima. That's pronounced they give me pronunciation.

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<v Speaker 1>Been listening for three years now from Austin, Texas. I

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to say how much of a help you've been

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<v Speaker 1>with my loneliness. I went from managing a restaurant and

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<v Speaker 1>people to starting my own food truck. It's long hours

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<v Speaker 1>and I work by myself. The hardest part is being

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<v Speaker 1>alone all day. When I got y'all in the background talking,

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<v Speaker 1>I sometimes bust out laughing to what you guys are saying.

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<v Speaker 1>It feels like I got people there just goofing off

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<v Speaker 1>in the kitchen. It helps me get through the day

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<v Speaker 1>and not go crazy in my own head. Also, if

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<v Speaker 1>I ever see vont in person, I'm throwing a rare

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<v Speaker 1>steak at his face, disrespecting the steak. The other day

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<v Speaker 1>he said, well done. The food is already dead. Why

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<v Speaker 1>do you want to kill it? Twice was Vaunt saying

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<v Speaker 1>that he does like he only likes well done.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, only well done takes gross.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, I will say I understand how she feels from

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<v Speaker 3>from talking to people all day working in a restaurant

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<v Speaker 3>or whatever it was she was managing to being alone

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<v Speaker 3>in a food truck. Because when I worked at Bubba

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<v Speaker 3>Gumps and then I went to working in a desk

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<v Speaker 3>job nine to five, I was so lonely. It was

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<v Speaker 3>such a shock to me because I was talking to

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<v Speaker 3>people all day, looking twelve hour doubles to like sitting

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<v Speaker 3>behind a desk, having barely any conversations outside of an email,

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<v Speaker 3>and I just like I hated it.

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<v Speaker 1>We're a very social kind of a person. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>think that. I mean, I really enjoy like coming in

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<v Speaker 1>and hang out with you guys, because I really love

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<v Speaker 1>you guys, and you're all fun and different in your ways,

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<v Speaker 1>and so if I didn't get to hang out with you,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how life would be, you know what

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, Like if you're.

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<v Speaker 3>Just sitting in here by yourself doing a show, not

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<v Speaker 3>chit chatting with us. And I know that we like

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<v Speaker 3>talk to people through texting and like phone calls, but

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<v Speaker 3>like to be in the presence of someone else.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just a different thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, yesterday we talked about the guy with the world's

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<v Speaker 1>largest confirmed penis medically confirmed. And I didn't say how

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<v Speaker 1>long it.

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<v Speaker 2>Was, Yeah, because you were.

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<v Speaker 1>I was gonna kind of tease you with this one.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you guys want to make a guess or did

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<v Speaker 1>you already look it up? Well we already yesterday it

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<v Speaker 1>was your guesses again.

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<v Speaker 2>I think I said, did I say a foot? You

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<v Speaker 2>said a foot and I said fifteen inches?

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<v Speaker 1>Fourteen inches a little over fourteen inches? Yeah, okay, Now

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<v Speaker 1>if you take a ruler remember from school, and spread

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<v Speaker 1>your fingers about that far apart as a ruler, and

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<v Speaker 1>then add on another two inches that is. And the

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<v Speaker 1>funny thing is this guy, Matt Barr. He looks like

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<v Speaker 1>a chubbier John Lovett's or a chubbier Kevin Kneelin.

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<v Speaker 2>Cute.

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<v Speaker 1>He's not cute. No, so Shannon writes in, and she says,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a god. Wednesday's mass produced pr email for the

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<v Speaker 1>guy with a huge penis had me laughing all the

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<v Speaker 1>way to the gym. Geez, I'm sorry, your huge schlong

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<v Speaker 1>is causing much trauma. Maybe you should get in the

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<v Speaker 1>business of having it worked for you, not against you.

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<v Speaker 1>At least you be richer than you Probably you're probably

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<v Speaker 1>crappy book. Let's call it a cash cock. Okay, Oh

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<v Speaker 1>my god. I didn't even want to google the guy.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't want to potentially cheat on my guess. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>guessing mister big bars packages twenty two inches long. Holy crap,

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<v Speaker 1>and oh so painful to think about. Probably passes out

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<v Speaker 1>when he gets a hart on because he doesn't have

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<v Speaker 1>enough blood to supply both his brains and his cock.

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<v Speaker 1>I love the fact that she's graphic on this. It's funny.

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<v Speaker 1>Needless to say, my largest encounter was a confirmed twelve

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<v Speaker 1>inches and that was more than enough. Alrighty, back to work,

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<v Speaker 1>wishing you all nothing but big wiener. In Pleasant Dreams,

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<v Speaker 1>Shannon twelve inches. Now there's a yard. There's a ruler

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<v Speaker 1>right there, entire rule yard.

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<v Speaker 2>Imagine.

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<v Speaker 3>I did ask Andrew yesterday what he thought the length

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<v Speaker 3>was and he said thirty six inches. And I was like, what,

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<v Speaker 3>that's the size of like a fifth grader.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, no, settle down, And he was like, yeah, you're right.

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<v Speaker 2>That was a little too much hot. Oh my gosh.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's move on to Elena, who writes in she says,

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<v Speaker 1>I see your longest dong ever story and raise you

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<v Speaker 1>the cutest little pen you ever did see. I attached

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<v Speaker 1>the snap of child Woo Willie Johnson for your viewing pleasure.

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<v Speaker 1>I got him for my favorite urology nurse when she

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<v Speaker 1>before she moved, and she he keeps me company at

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<v Speaker 1>my desk. He has had some misadventures. Most notoriously, my

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<v Speaker 1>nine year old secretly pocketed him and brought him to

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<v Speaker 1>show his fourth grade pals. I'm not quite getting the

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<v Speaker 1>clarity on what this.

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<v Speaker 2>Is going to be, like a stuffed animal or something.

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<v Speaker 1>I think I'm gonna keep reading Chodwick Likes and Timberlake

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<v Speaker 1>as much as I do, so if you want to, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll be honest with you. I don't get this email.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm getting it. Does she have a picture attached? It's

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<v Speaker 2>like a flat Stanley. She's like, here's the thing that

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<v Speaker 2>my son took to.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, sure, yes, I'm glad I opened it. It

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<v Speaker 1>is a little rubber penis that is about the size

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<v Speaker 1>of your index fingertip.

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<v Speaker 2>Cute.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that it's not a real penis.

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<v Speaker 2>Not a real one soul accessory.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's funny. He's squishy.

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<v Speaker 2>He's like squishih he's for stress. Then, okay, stress.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks relief, Elena. I'm glad that it is a stress

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<v Speaker 1>relieving penis and thank you Elena for participating in the

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<v Speaker 1>naughty Let's see here's one, Katie writes in she says,

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<v Speaker 1>greeting from greetings from Olympia, Washington. In my head, Dave

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<v Speaker 1>was asking how to find our show and I said, hmm,

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<v Speaker 1>a little tacky. I love this bit. We used to

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<v Speaker 1>do that bit because somebody would say, oh, I listened

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<v Speaker 1>to your show, how did you find our show? Hmmm,

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<v Speaker 1>a little tacky? And it was a setup. And another

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<v Speaker 1>setup that we used to do is like, oh.

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<v Speaker 3>It was It was like something with how you'll go ahead?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry, Jenny, but thanks reminding me. It would be like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>you work for the State and Transportation. How many people

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<v Speaker 1>work there? About half? And that was our standard set

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<v Speaker 1>up joke and we used to do those all the time,

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<v Speaker 1>but they kind of fell by the wayside. This bit.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm originally from Minnesota. Last night I walked into a

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<v Speaker 1>dispensary and heard a familiar tune playing in the store.

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<v Speaker 1>I stopped dead on my track, saying out loud, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I think I know this song. Then I heard the

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<v Speaker 1>lyric pau till I die. Holy shit, it's Amy but Bobby,

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<v Speaker 1>my worlds are colliding. I only know of her because

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<v Speaker 1>Dave had a phase where he was obsessed with that song. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>this email needs a little bit more content. I'm pretty

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<v Speaker 1>sure that somebody wrote in recently expressing uncertainty about going

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<v Speaker 1>into a dispensary and asking questions. Please chat with the

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<v Speaker 1>bud tenders. They're helpful, friendly, and probably used to all

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<v Speaker 1>sorts of questions. I've been consuming cannabis for several years

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<v Speaker 1>and I still ask for recommendations just for funzies. I

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<v Speaker 1>played a little game in my head, and I think

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<v Speaker 1>the term is called the spoonerism. It's where you switch

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<v Speaker 1>out the first few letters between two words of a phrase.

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<v Speaker 1>I do this all the time, and it cracks me up.

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<v Speaker 1>When I watched TV with subtitles and the caption says

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<v Speaker 1>birds chirping, I think Churd's burping it. It's fun to

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<v Speaker 1>do this with names too, Rave Dyan Hailey, Bess Launt Vick,

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<v Speaker 1>Lenny Juttenberger.

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<v Speaker 2>I used to have a substitute teacher who did that

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<v Speaker 2>when he did roll call at the beginning of class.

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<v Speaker 2>So he would just do it to be funny, and

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<v Speaker 2>so mine was always Hailey Bess and I had a friend.

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<v Speaker 2>Her name is Lexi Sastamoinen, so she was sexy last

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<v Speaker 2>a mooien.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh funny.

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<v Speaker 2>So anyway, that's a cool bit. I like that bit.

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<v Speaker 1>She goes on to say I would love a staff

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<v Speaker 1>Rider sticker and with love and dart licks Katie, thank you, Katie,

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<v Speaker 1>appreciate that one. Clicking down to the next one and

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<v Speaker 1>a skip for that one. Just listening to the steak rant, Now,

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<v Speaker 1>this was a big deal on the show yesterday because

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<v Speaker 1>Vaunt was like, my steak needs to be like well,

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<v Speaker 1>well well done. Yeah gros, just listening to the rant.

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<v Speaker 1>My take is I like my steak well done. Personally,

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<v Speaker 1>I eat like a five year old. I only eat

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<v Speaker 1>chicken nuggets and pizza every day. No, Joe, I have

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<v Speaker 1>the same disorder that Corey Cove has on kfan aar fid.

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<v Speaker 1>So truly, my wife is happy. I even try to

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<v Speaker 1>stake a few years back. I'm thirty four now, by

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<v Speaker 1>the way, but she told me get it well done

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<v Speaker 1>because she knew I wouldn't like it if it was less.

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<v Speaker 1>Even one time at Bonefish Grill. I got it medium

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<v Speaker 1>well and it just didn't taste cooked enough, so I

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<v Speaker 1>had him cook it even more to well done, and

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<v Speaker 1>I love it. I'm with you, Dave, where all adults

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<v Speaker 1>should eat your steak, however you like my brother think

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<v Speaker 1>my brother likes it where it's still mooing, But yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>kill that motherfucker l ol. Thanks. Isn't that an interesting disorder?

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm glad that Corey is out about it, so

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<v Speaker 1>it's not like it's a secret that he. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know Corey very well, but I guess that he only

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<v Speaker 1>eats chicken nuggets and French fries.

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<v Speaker 3>Lily, Is that true?

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<v Speaker 1>That's what it's. That's the acronym aarfid.

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<v Speaker 2>I think they call it arfed maybe not probably, but yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I know that's a real thing. I've just never I've

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<v Speaker 2>never encountered anyone who has it. But I mean, if

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<v Speaker 2>that's what you gotta do. But I know for a

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<v Speaker 2>fact that's something that Vont doesn't have, and he's just

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<v Speaker 2>being a little bitch.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think he has ar fid. Yeah, Vont is

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<v Speaker 1>just kind of a picky It's funny. Carson was also

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<v Speaker 1>a very picky eater, and then he would get mocerella

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<v Speaker 1>sticks and never dip them. I'm like, oh, you got

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<v Speaker 1>to dip them in the marinera.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't worry.

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<v Speaker 1>And he would get only honey barbecue at Buffalo Wild

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<v Speaker 1>Wings and he grew out of it, and now he

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<v Speaker 1>likes almost everything except green stuff. That kid never eats

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<v Speaker 1>green salad, vegetables, peas, beans, broccoli to eat.

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<v Speaker 2>I love green stuff, delicious. I love a vegetable like

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<v Speaker 2>saute anything. Oh it, put it in my belly.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's say, everything except Brussels sprouts. I just don't they

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<v Speaker 1>just have that kind of earthy, dirty.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they do, not very specific taste.

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<v Speaker 1>I love it.

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<v Speaker 3>You just got to get them caramelized and then they

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<v Speaker 3>don't taste like Brussels sprouts anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's one from Dana. Hello, besties, I've been wanting to

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<v Speaker 1>tell you this story. Today is my mom's birthday, which

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<v Speaker 1>was yesterday. She wrote this last night at ten o'clock.

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<v Speaker 1>She passed a few years ago, so this day is

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<v Speaker 1>especially hard for me to get through. I'm so sorry

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<v Speaker 1>about that. I work in the medical field doing home care.

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<v Speaker 1>One year ago today I was at one of my

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<v Speaker 1>very special patient's house over the lunch hour. My patient's

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<v Speaker 1>wife offered to make me a two go lunch. I

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<v Speaker 1>declined over and over, but she wouldn't take no for

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<v Speaker 1>an answer. When I got in my car, I opened

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<v Speaker 1>my lunch and I just couldn't believe what I saw.

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<v Speaker 1>This is not your average ham turkey sandwich. It is

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<v Speaker 1>the exact sandwich my mom used to make, summer sausage,

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<v Speaker 1>butter and mustard on small sliced French bread. What an

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<v Speaker 1>amazing coincidence.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's like a sign, that's a message, it is.

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<v Speaker 1>I started crying. I called my husband. He told me

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<v Speaker 1>it was like my mom made it just for me,

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<v Speaker 1>just like she used to. Wow. I get a little teary.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd thinking about this one. God works in strange ways.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you for reading my email, and thank you for

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<v Speaker 1>making me laugh every day, especially on my darkest, hardest days.

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<v Speaker 1>Hope you all have a great day. From Dana. Ah.

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<v Speaker 1>That is so sweet. What an unusual sandwich. Summer sausage,

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<v Speaker 1>butter and mustard sounds delicious.

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<v Speaker 3>I do that, except for not mustard ketchup. We always

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<v Speaker 3>grew up doing summer sausage sandwiches butter ketchup, not on

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<v Speaker 3>fancy bread like that, just on your basic white butader

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<v Speaker 3>I've never had, but I kind of want one.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh God, I haven't had summer sausage. I've had like

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<v Speaker 1>several unhealthy meals this entire month. I've been so good. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I had a Patty melt, I had a parlor burger.

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<v Speaker 1>Ye I had buffalo wild wings. And other than that,

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<v Speaker 1>everything that I've eaten this month has been healthy.

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<v Speaker 2>Wow. Congrats.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, go for you. And last email for today, it

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<v Speaker 1>looks like here we go. It says for Dave and Jenny,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm going to guess they probably include Bailey too,

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<v Speaker 1>but maybe they just they spelled Jenny's name wrong, so

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<v Speaker 1>maybe they're just, you know, like we're busy that day.

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<v Speaker 1>First time rider here. I know you guys get these

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<v Speaker 1>kind of emails a lot, so feel free to read

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<v Speaker 1>for yourself. On the Minnesota Goodbye. Twenty one years ago,

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<v Speaker 1>I had what must have been a stroke of some kind,

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<v Speaker 1>never fully diagnosed, that changed my life. In the next

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<v Speaker 1>five months, I lost thirty five pounds. I could not

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<v Speaker 1>even sit up without almost passing out. I had to

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<v Speaker 1>take a sabbatical during this time. Aside from physical portion,

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<v Speaker 1>the mental part was the worst. I can't describe it

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<v Speaker 1>better than a storm cloud trying to burst out of

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<v Speaker 1>my head at even the slightest stress brought on full

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<v Speaker 1>body shakes, the irregular heart beats, and literally feeling like

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<v Speaker 1>my brain was going to explode. But a horrible feeling. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>And I can't even imagine being bound to laying on

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<v Speaker 1>the couch and unable to help my wife who was

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<v Speaker 1>struggling with a job she hated, so we could stay afloat.

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<v Speaker 1>I felt utterly useless by the second month, with no

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<v Speaker 1>end in sight. I contemply I heavily contemplated how long

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<v Speaker 1>I could keep mentally doing this, and my mind went

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<v Speaker 1>to dark solutions. Yes, you guess correctly. That's when I

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<v Speaker 1>started listening to radio, namely Your Morning Show, and very

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<v Speaker 1>quickly after the Minnesota Goodbye, you became an anchor in

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<v Speaker 1>my life, and the shows were something that helped me

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<v Speaker 1>divert my attention away from all the bad. My mental

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<v Speaker 1>health kept getting better and better with this sense of

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<v Speaker 1>routine in my life, and I'm thrilled to say I

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<v Speaker 1>am doing so much better and I have a job

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<v Speaker 1>I love again. I don't know where I would be

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<v Speaker 1>if it wasn't for the ongoing presence of what I

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<v Speaker 1>deemed were family and friends that you, Jenny and Fallon

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<v Speaker 1>created for me. Oh I see now like this was

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<v Speaker 1>a long time ago. Now I now have a child

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<v Speaker 1>and life couldn't be more on the up and up.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you, Dave and Jenny. I do miss Fallon. Pack

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<v Speaker 1>a picture attached to a picture of me and my

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<v Speaker 1>little man now and there he is sitting there with

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<v Speaker 1>a little boy on his level, cherry, little bald headed

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<v Speaker 1>baby boy. What you do truly changes lives in ways.

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<v Speaker 1>I hope still surprise and motivate you. I hope to

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<v Speaker 1>contribute more to this show now that I opened the barrier. John,

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<v Speaker 1>that's a beautiful letter. And I'm so glad that we

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<v Speaker 1>had anything to do with you doing better. And I

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<v Speaker 1>will not take credit but give credit to radio. Radio

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<v Speaker 1>is a magical thing, and that is one of the

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<v Speaker 1>reasons I wanted to be on the radio so bad.

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<v Speaker 1>I worked so hard at it because it worked its

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<v Speaker 1>magic for me. When I was growing up, we had

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<v Speaker 1>the radio on all the time, and the people on

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<v Speaker 1>the radio sounded like friends. And back then radio was different.

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<v Speaker 1>It wasn't goofy, wacky, silly, you know, controversial. War of

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<v Speaker 1>the Roses silly thing. It was just people on the

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<v Speaker 1>radio that did a good job of making you feel

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<v Speaker 1>like you were a friend. It included in the conversation,

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<v Speaker 1>and I love that. That is the magic of radio,

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<v Speaker 1>and a podcast kind of can do that. But if

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<v Speaker 1>you're listening to a podcast that somebody recorded four weeks

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<v Speaker 1>ago or four years ago, it's not quite the same.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like an audio book. It's not a bad thing.

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<v Speaker 1>But when you're listening to a radio station that's right

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<v Speaker 1>there that talks about the shows that you also watched

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<v Speaker 1>last night, talks about the roads that you also drove on.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think the great thing about our show is

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<v Speaker 1>there's somebody who relates to somebody on the show. In

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<v Speaker 1>other words, if you watch Friends, maybe you related most

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<v Speaker 1>to Rachel or maybe if you watched Let's Go Way Back,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe your favorite character on Gilligan's Island was the Skipper.

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<v Speaker 1>So I think on our show, there's like somebody that

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<v Speaker 1>you're going to pick out and relate to. And I

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<v Speaker 1>personally never lose sight of the fact of how much

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<v Speaker 1>you mean to us, And I hope that comes through

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<v Speaker 1>in the way we do the show. Because a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of radio stations are like, well, they're listeners, their numbers.

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<v Speaker 1>We've heard them called clampers, to prize pigs, to all

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<v Speaker 1>kinds of insulting names, and it pisses me off because

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<v Speaker 1>you're no different than me if I was on the

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<v Speaker 1>other side, So we always respect that. Thank you, John.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, John, we're happy you're here. We're glad you're here.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, super much better.

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<v Speaker 2>And I need to see that picture that he said.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll swing it around and I'll show it to you

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<v Speaker 1>that it's adorable, little chubby, little bald headed baby boy.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you, John, Thank you for your emails and for

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<v Speaker 1>listening to the Minnesota Goodbye. You want to send an email,

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<v Speaker 1>love to hear what you have to say. Send Send

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<v Speaker 1>it to Ryan Show at kadiwb dot com