WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:08.359 M let me finish. This is the first time I 2 00:00:08.359 --> 00:00:13.880 committed a hate crime. Maybe they'll jerk my dick off 3 00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:22.559 for something like that. Yeah, probably we've disgusted. I'm associate bath. 4 00:00:26.039 --> 00:00:30.719 Any threship, any trash ship. 5 00:00:36.719 --> 00:00:38.079 You're a worst friend? 6 00:00:44.719 --> 00:00:46.479 Do you want to know why you're all fucked up? 7 00:00:46.920 --> 00:00:49.039 You're looking at the fucking problems you hang around with. 8 00:00:49.320 --> 00:00:50.960 You listen to your worst friend with Shane and Matt. 9 00:00:51.000 --> 00:00:52.880 I'm Matt. I'm joined today by my friend and co host, 10 00:00:52.880 --> 00:00:55.159 a man who has a chair that he's sitting on. Unfortunately, 11 00:00:55.159 --> 00:00:58.039 mine broke yesterday and I'll tell you all about it. 12 00:00:58.200 --> 00:01:01.280 Shane, was it embarrassing when your chair broke? 13 00:01:01.479 --> 00:01:04.280 No, thankfully not. I have this computer chair, which it's 14 00:01:04.319 --> 00:01:07.599 so weird. On Friday, my manager for my day job 15 00:01:08.359 --> 00:01:10.719 was like, you know, we have a credit you can 16 00:01:10.840 --> 00:01:14.239 use if you need any office supplies. I go, oh, cool, 17 00:01:14.319 --> 00:01:16.959 like pens or anything like that. She goes, it's whatever 18 00:01:16.959 --> 00:01:19.239 you want to spend up to three hundred dollars, I said. 19 00:01:19.319 --> 00:01:20.920 I looked at my chair at the time it was 20 00:01:20.959 --> 00:01:24.040 like slightly leaning sideways, and I was like, could I 21 00:01:24.079 --> 00:01:26.560 get an office chair with that? She goes, yeah, that 22 00:01:26.599 --> 00:01:28.599 would be fine. That'd be great. So now I'm looking 23 00:01:28.640 --> 00:01:31.519 for like five hundred dollars office chairs on sale for 24 00:01:31.640 --> 00:01:35.640 three hundred so I can fucking you know, not scam 25 00:01:35.680 --> 00:01:38.239 my job. They're paying for it, but fucking you know, 26 00:01:38.760 --> 00:01:39.560 I want to get something. 27 00:01:39.760 --> 00:01:40.680 Yeah, you wouldn't just. 28 00:01:40.599 --> 00:01:43.400 Get a good deal on your job, that's all. Why's 29 00:01:43.439 --> 00:01:45.200 everything got to be a fucking scam with you? 30 00:01:45.359 --> 00:01:45.640 Dude? 31 00:01:45.959 --> 00:01:50.159 Stop scamming people. Just say it's a good deal for everyone. 32 00:01:50.159 --> 00:01:53.319 Patreon dot com slash worst friend Cast, it's a good 33 00:01:53.359 --> 00:01:56.319 deal for everyone. Go to patreon dot com slash worst 34 00:01:56.359 --> 00:01:58.959 friend cast sign up. It's a dollar a month, get 35 00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:02.079 access to everything I ever recorded, entirely commercial free, and 36 00:02:02.120 --> 00:02:05.120 a bonus episode every week links to everything at your 37 00:02:05.159 --> 00:02:06.280 worst friend dot com. 38 00:02:06.719 --> 00:02:08.280 That sounds like a good deal for everyone. 39 00:02:08.599 --> 00:02:10.840 It's a good deal for a good deal for everyone. 40 00:02:11.400 --> 00:02:14.840 Uh yeah, yeah, yeah, So my chair. I went to 41 00:02:14.879 --> 00:02:17.800 go sit on it, but I like, it's been wonky 42 00:02:18.120 --> 00:02:20.080 the last few x amount of times. There were a 43 00:02:20.080 --> 00:02:23.400 few interviews I did for this stretch of going Deeper 44 00:02:23.439 --> 00:02:25.599 where I was sitting on the chair and I would 45 00:02:25.599 --> 00:02:29.439 feel it like and I'm like, oh, if this, let 46 00:02:29.439 --> 00:02:32.800 me tell you the reaction of a porn stars screaming 47 00:02:33.159 --> 00:02:36.280 as this fucking chair impaled me. If that were to 48 00:02:36.360 --> 00:02:39.360 have happened, I would have been the coolest thing ever. 49 00:02:39.879 --> 00:02:41.560 But who would have been there to post it? Because 50 00:02:41.560 --> 00:02:45.000 you would have been impaled like a Vlad the Impaler victim. 51 00:02:45.479 --> 00:02:48.280 Jen's always wanted to go viral, so I'm sure she 52 00:02:48.280 --> 00:02:52.800 would find a way. Yeah, he didn't hit save, Yeah exactly. 53 00:02:55.120 --> 00:02:58.319 But yeah, the fucking if you know, like a computer 54 00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:00.520 or like a desk chair, it's got the metal part 55 00:03:00.560 --> 00:03:03.919 at the bottom. I can't send you a picture part. Yeah, 56 00:03:04.039 --> 00:03:07.520 but it is fucking fully I'm gonna text it Tee, 57 00:03:07.520 --> 00:03:09.960 even though I know you're recording on this. The metal 58 00:03:10.120 --> 00:03:11.800 just fucking totally gave. 59 00:03:11.599 --> 00:03:13.680 Out and cracked on it. 60 00:03:13.680 --> 00:03:14.639 It's old. 61 00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:19.599 Yeah, I had I had an office chair in here 62 00:03:19.759 --> 00:03:25.479 that was like yard sale material and it was like 63 00:03:25.599 --> 00:03:28.159 missing a wheel. I think when I was drinking, I 64 00:03:28.560 --> 00:03:31.520 like swung it across the house and smashed it and 65 00:03:31.560 --> 00:03:32.800 broke a second wheel. 66 00:03:32.560 --> 00:03:33.080 Off of it. 67 00:03:33.439 --> 00:03:36.039 And it was always leaning at a weird angle, like 68 00:03:36.120 --> 00:03:38.159 in the angle it leaned at was the opposite that 69 00:03:38.199 --> 00:03:41.520 the wheels were at, So you would constantly like you 70 00:03:41.560 --> 00:03:45.080 would just wobble back and forth. And I finally threw 71 00:03:45.080 --> 00:03:47.360 that away a few months ago, and I got this 72 00:03:47.360 --> 00:03:51.879 this other like Salvation Army type chair, but it's got all. 73 00:03:51.759 --> 00:03:54.039 The wheels and everything. Where it was like a ten 74 00:03:54.120 --> 00:03:54.759 dollars chair. 75 00:03:55.439 --> 00:03:58.599 This jen's got a fucking computer share. We got from Goodwill, 76 00:03:58.800 --> 00:04:01.039 Like you know, as long as you who gives a fuck? 77 00:04:01.080 --> 00:04:04.719 I get all kinds of furniture from Goodwill. Who cares? 78 00:04:04.840 --> 00:04:06.439 I don't. I buy socks there. 79 00:04:06.719 --> 00:04:09.599 I like when they come with bonus cockera jags inside. 80 00:04:09.800 --> 00:04:12.080 That's not like yeah, because then you can plant them 81 00:04:12.080 --> 00:04:13.400 in the backyard and crows. 82 00:04:14.120 --> 00:04:15.759 Or I can go to a friend's house and put 83 00:04:15.800 --> 00:04:17.680 them behind the toilet, see. 84 00:04:17.560 --> 00:04:19.720 Or you can crack them in your skillet. Make a 85 00:04:20.079 --> 00:04:23.560 roadj egg Omelet Larva Omelet. 86 00:04:25.480 --> 00:04:27.399 All right, first video I got here for you today. 87 00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:31.560 The World Series is set. It is going to be. 88 00:04:32.600 --> 00:04:35.040 The teams are all determined. Who's gonna play in the 89 00:04:35.040 --> 00:04:35.759 World Series. 90 00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:38.160 It's two teams, right, It's just two. 91 00:04:38.319 --> 00:04:40.199 Yeah, though if you tried to do three, it might 92 00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:41.560 be kind of interesting, you know. 93 00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:44.879 That'd be cool if they had to compete ball, like 94 00:04:45.040 --> 00:04:47.079 they had to like fight it out for who was 95 00:04:47.120 --> 00:04:48.279 gonna pitch each round. 96 00:04:49.079 --> 00:04:52.879 I don't know why people don't make more beast basketball 97 00:04:52.959 --> 00:04:53.879 style games. 98 00:04:54.279 --> 00:04:57.439 Oh, like where you cross a sport with another sport. 99 00:04:57.199 --> 00:05:00.199 Take a ball and like make your own court and 100 00:05:00.240 --> 00:05:02.519 do something with it, or make your own field or 101 00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:03.560 whatever you want to do. 102 00:05:03.720 --> 00:05:07.800 Oh dude, what if they mix like NASCAR and UFC. 103 00:05:10.040 --> 00:05:12.439 Some guy kind of fist by the car as it's 104 00:05:12.439 --> 00:05:13.319 coming at him. 105 00:05:13.519 --> 00:05:15.560 Oh, I was thinking, like all the cars go around 106 00:05:15.600 --> 00:05:18.639 the track, but instead of like getting to the first 107 00:05:18.680 --> 00:05:21.399 place or whatever, they just crashed into each other at 108 00:05:21.399 --> 00:05:22.839 two and ten miles an hour. 109 00:05:22.959 --> 00:05:25.439 You know, Yeah, I mean that's one way of looking 110 00:05:25.480 --> 00:05:33.680 at it. Jen's dad was a big, big, big intimidator 111 00:05:33.920 --> 00:05:34.959 day Ironheart fan. 112 00:05:36.519 --> 00:05:36.920 Okay? 113 00:05:37.120 --> 00:05:39.720 Is that is that a that sounds like a badge 114 00:05:39.759 --> 00:05:43.639 of honor you wear in low circles. 115 00:05:43.439 --> 00:05:46.399 It's it's a badge of an honor in low circles. Like, 116 00:05:46.519 --> 00:05:48.600 you know, I'm an Earnhart guy, but I assume most 117 00:05:48.639 --> 00:05:50.839 of them are Earnhart guys. He's kind of like a 118 00:05:51.000 --> 00:05:55.639 Babe Ruth and he was killed at Daytona, their biggest 119 00:05:55.720 --> 00:05:57.920 race of the year, right was he shot there? It's 120 00:05:57.959 --> 00:06:00.439 almost like Babe Ruth came up at the bottom of 121 00:06:00.480 --> 00:06:02.879 the ninth with two ounces and the bases loaded down 122 00:06:02.920 --> 00:06:05.560 by three, and the ball came in and hit him 123 00:06:05.560 --> 00:06:07.959 in the helmet and he died at the bleet. You know, 124 00:06:08.120 --> 00:06:10.560 his fucking neck broke because the ball came in at 125 00:06:10.720 --> 00:06:13.360 two hundred miles an hour and took his fucking head off. 126 00:06:14.240 --> 00:06:15.879 That's how Dale Earnhardt died. 127 00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:18.160 Bas So, was it was it like the end of 128 00:06:18.279 --> 00:06:20.879 Dale's career? Was he getting ready to retire? Doesn't his 129 00:06:20.959 --> 00:06:21.480 kid race? 130 00:06:22.040 --> 00:06:25.439 His kid not only raced, raced a full career and 131 00:06:25.480 --> 00:06:27.560 then I believe he retired as well. 132 00:06:27.839 --> 00:06:30.399 Retired like crashed at an hour. 133 00:06:30.759 --> 00:06:33.040 No, No, he didn't have a Dale retirement and he 134 00:06:33.560 --> 00:06:34.439 had a regular one. 135 00:06:34.959 --> 00:06:39.360 Okay, but it's always sad when then when a boy 136 00:06:39.519 --> 00:06:42.839 doesn't follow in the in the father's father. 137 00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:45.800 Yeah yeah, well you know, I'm sure your dad feels 138 00:06:45.800 --> 00:06:46.959 that same way, right. 139 00:06:47.160 --> 00:06:49.199 Oh yeah, he just he would just love it if 140 00:06:49.279 --> 00:06:52.160 I worked my life away in a retail establishment and 141 00:06:52.160 --> 00:06:55.199 then nutted a kid into an immigrant at sixty. 142 00:06:58.560 --> 00:06:59.240 Uh So. 143 00:06:59.319 --> 00:07:03.439 The World Series is literally what everyone in baseball hoped 144 00:07:03.480 --> 00:07:06.560 it would be. Meaning like from a TV standpoint, in. 145 00:07:06.560 --> 00:07:08.680 The best Teams, I know what that means. 146 00:07:08.879 --> 00:07:09.399 What's it mean? 147 00:07:09.720 --> 00:07:11.560 It's the Yankees and the Red Sox. 148 00:07:11.959 --> 00:07:14.439 No, they're in the same league America. 149 00:07:14.639 --> 00:07:16.879 Dude, I thought they were like rivals. I thought there are. 150 00:07:17.480 --> 00:07:19.800 Let me, let me give you a hint. So why 151 00:07:19.839 --> 00:07:22.680 would that be a better one Yankees and Red Sox 152 00:07:22.759 --> 00:07:23.519 than another one? 153 00:07:25.040 --> 00:07:28.360 I don't know, racial diversity, It wouldn't. 154 00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:30.560 I mean it would because it's a good rivalry. But 155 00:07:30.639 --> 00:07:33.120 the thing is, that's all East Coast, right, so you're 156 00:07:33.199 --> 00:07:36.480 just losing half of the country. So the Yankees are 157 00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:39.720 in the World Series, and who would the other team be, Oh, 158 00:07:39.879 --> 00:07:43.319 the Oakland A's No, they're actually one of the worst 159 00:07:43.319 --> 00:07:48.040 teams in baseball. They're they're I think probably second worst team. 160 00:07:48.160 --> 00:07:50.519 Not only that, they've lost their home and they'll move 161 00:07:50.560 --> 00:07:54.519 in to your backyard this year. I think they're playing 162 00:07:54.560 --> 00:07:57.120 for They don't even have a field right now. They're 163 00:07:57.120 --> 00:08:00.199 playing in like random fields over the next couple of years. 164 00:08:00.240 --> 00:08:04.319 And they're moving to Vegas in twenty twenty six, maybe 165 00:08:04.360 --> 00:08:04.839 something like that. 166 00:08:04.839 --> 00:08:06.519 It's a team and a custody to spare. 167 00:08:06.680 --> 00:08:10.399 It's not good. It is the New York Yankees against 168 00:08:10.399 --> 00:08:11.920 the Los Angeles Dodgers. 169 00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:16.000 Oh wow, Okay, so you got one shithole versus the 170 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:16.560 other one. 171 00:08:16.959 --> 00:08:21.680 It's a combined about five hundred million dollars in payroll 172 00:08:21.759 --> 00:08:26.199 this year, which is there's no cap in baseball, so 173 00:08:26.199 --> 00:08:27.800 you can spend as much money as you want to spend. 174 00:08:27.800 --> 00:08:31.480 So there's a lot of big name, big market teams 175 00:08:31.519 --> 00:08:34.000 buying players and this and that buying them on the 176 00:08:34.039 --> 00:08:38.120 market is as strung as his back. How many mule 177 00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:40.080 power does that person have? 178 00:08:40.759 --> 00:08:42.399 Is that really how they measure him? 179 00:08:42.799 --> 00:08:45.840 Yeah, that's how free agency works. That's how the combine works. 180 00:08:46.279 --> 00:08:49.039 They go in, they can check the teeth. Oh yeah, 181 00:08:49.799 --> 00:08:51.759 this guy could play quarterback for me. Look he's got 182 00:08:51.759 --> 00:08:52.320 good teeth. 183 00:08:53.039 --> 00:08:56.080 Have you been watching the Yeah, look at his skull shape. 184 00:08:56.440 --> 00:08:58.919 Skull shape he'll be. He'll be a great linebacker and 185 00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:00.360 a horrendous. 186 00:09:00.080 --> 00:09:04.600 What are back? Have you watched the Hernandez Show on FX? 187 00:09:04.759 --> 00:09:08.159 No, dude, I did. I did the Menandez. I like, 188 00:09:09.759 --> 00:09:13.799 I'm over Ryan Murphy, but he's rekindling my love because 189 00:09:13.840 --> 00:09:16.799 I enjoyed the second half of American Horror Stories. 190 00:09:17.240 --> 00:09:18.600 Oh, I haven't watched the new one yet. 191 00:09:18.639 --> 00:09:20.639 They just came out, I think like over the weekend. 192 00:09:20.759 --> 00:09:22.799 Something like that. But we watched four or five of 193 00:09:22.840 --> 00:09:25.200 them over the weekend while I was cleaning shit up, 194 00:09:25.279 --> 00:09:28.720 and uh yeah, they were good. They were all really decent. 195 00:09:28.879 --> 00:09:31.639 So but I watched Menandez. I did not watch the 196 00:09:31.639 --> 00:09:34.600 Aaron Hernandez. I don't need a football story told by 197 00:09:35.039 --> 00:09:36.960 some of the fruitiest dudes in Hollywood. 198 00:09:37.000 --> 00:09:39.039 Well just check it out. Okay, Yeah, it's there's a lot. 199 00:09:39.080 --> 00:09:41.440 There's so much gay shit every episode. There's a lot 200 00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:41.919 of gay shit. 201 00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:45.200 And I know that none of that is substantiated, it's 202 00:09:45.240 --> 00:09:49.080 all hearsay. But but aside from that, the show is 203 00:09:49.159 --> 00:09:52.320 so interesting to me. What I'm really getting the most 204 00:09:52.440 --> 00:09:56.679 enjoyment out of for this show is the stuff like 205 00:09:56.720 --> 00:09:59.480 that behind the scenes stuff that you probably know all about, 206 00:09:59.639 --> 00:10:02.200 like but I've never been exposed to it because I'm 207 00:10:02.200 --> 00:10:07.120 not a sports guy. But it's like how there's like 208 00:10:07.120 --> 00:10:10.080 like when he's in college playing for the Gators, there's 209 00:10:10.159 --> 00:10:14.039 like lawyers for the team, like watching out for the students, 210 00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:17.080 making sure they don't get in trouble, bailing them out 211 00:10:17.279 --> 00:10:20.919 like so you know, like keeping them off of police blotterers. 212 00:10:20.960 --> 00:10:24.519 And then when they go pro, like the interview process 213 00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:28.120 when they're getting drafted and like how they how it's 214 00:10:28.200 --> 00:10:31.639 like you're it's like an audition, and it's like and 215 00:10:31.679 --> 00:10:34.360 then once they're on the team, like how the team 216 00:10:34.399 --> 00:10:38.480 functions and and like how they they like it's it 217 00:10:38.799 --> 00:10:40.879 reminded me of the Marine Corps, where like when we 218 00:10:40.879 --> 00:10:43.320 were when we would go on a deployment or something, 219 00:10:43.759 --> 00:10:46.480 they would have to yell at us for two hours 220 00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:50.840 beforehand about local customs and how we represent the Marine 221 00:10:50.879 --> 00:10:53.639 Corps and how you know, and it's like they're doing 222 00:10:53.639 --> 00:10:54.240 the same thing. 223 00:10:54.320 --> 00:10:54.639 It's all. 224 00:10:54.679 --> 00:10:58.159 It's like they have the best minds, the most highest 225 00:10:58.240 --> 00:11:04.960 paid skilled like psychologists working to kind of steer the players, 226 00:11:05.080 --> 00:11:08.480 you know, so that way, like there's a team mentality 227 00:11:08.559 --> 00:11:10.519 and they they look out for each other, they keep 228 00:11:10.519 --> 00:11:13.320 each other from getting in trouble. All this shit that 229 00:11:13.480 --> 00:11:16.879 like I kind of could have guessed some of it 230 00:11:17.000 --> 00:11:21.360 was going on, But to see like how deep the 231 00:11:21.480 --> 00:11:25.480 NFL and the college football leagues get into these people's 232 00:11:25.480 --> 00:11:28.879 personal lives and how they get in trouble and all 233 00:11:28.919 --> 00:11:30.679 that shit, I thought it was just fa oh and 234 00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:32.120 their their psychology. 235 00:11:32.279 --> 00:11:34.720 I thought it was fucking awesome. Yeah, you should check 236 00:11:34.720 --> 00:11:37.519 it out, you Okay. The problem I have with it 237 00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:40.759 is every clip I've seen. The athletics of it look 238 00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:43.799 so unbelievable. It would be like if we did a 239 00:11:43.840 --> 00:11:46.799 space movie for you to enjoy. You're like, oh, I 240 00:11:46.840 --> 00:11:47.600 love space movies. 241 00:11:47.639 --> 00:11:50.759 And in the background lucasfilm took his nineteen seventies stuff 242 00:11:50.759 --> 00:11:55.159 and had fucking you know, wrong planets hanging behind it. 243 00:11:55.759 --> 00:11:58.600 This is our solar system and there's fifteen planets out there, 244 00:11:58.679 --> 00:12:01.879 full size planets. You'd be like, even if the story 245 00:12:01.919 --> 00:12:04.759 was engrossing and great, you'd still be like, come on, motherfucker, 246 00:12:04.840 --> 00:12:06.279 just get the little details right. 247 00:12:06.399 --> 00:12:06.720 Sure. 248 00:12:07.000 --> 00:12:10.399 Yeah, Kenny Powers was bad at that too. Fucking what's 249 00:12:10.440 --> 00:12:14.000 his name? Danny McBride cannot throw a baseball, for shit. 250 00:12:14.120 --> 00:12:16.360 He throws it like a theater kid throws a baseball, 251 00:12:16.720 --> 00:12:20.559 which he is a theater kid. He probably yeah, yeah, 252 00:12:21.679 --> 00:12:23.559 you said one thing in there. And I wonder if 253 00:12:23.600 --> 00:12:27.960 they incorporated this story into the Aaron Hernandez story, huh, 254 00:12:28.240 --> 00:12:31.240 because it's like the most famous one from the Draft 255 00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:34.840 in this sense, but it was not Aaron Hernandez, So 256 00:12:34.919 --> 00:12:37.159 I'm wondering if they kind of what is it compiled 257 00:12:37.200 --> 00:12:41.200 those type of things. There was one NFL team that 258 00:12:41.240 --> 00:12:43.200 would come in and go Hey, Shane, nice to meet you. 259 00:12:43.200 --> 00:12:45.200 You know you want to be drafted by us. We're 260 00:12:45.200 --> 00:12:47.080 just gonna run through some questions here. What do you 261 00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:49.879 think of when a quarterback? Blah blah blah? What do 262 00:12:49.879 --> 00:12:51.799 you think about? This is your mama hooker? 263 00:12:52.519 --> 00:12:52.600 Like? 264 00:12:52.679 --> 00:12:53.960 Has she ever been a prostitute? 265 00:12:54.000 --> 00:12:54.080 Like? 266 00:12:54.480 --> 00:12:56.240 Has your mother ever been a whore on the streets? 267 00:12:56.320 --> 00:12:56.399 Like? 268 00:12:56.519 --> 00:12:58.320 Yeah, And the whole point of that at the time, 269 00:12:58.360 --> 00:13:01.039 which they've dialed that back a lot. They don't let 270 00:13:01.080 --> 00:13:03.759 that kind of shit anymore. It's to see how you 271 00:13:03.840 --> 00:13:09.000 react to pressure, or to awkward situations or to whatever. 272 00:13:10.360 --> 00:13:12.240 So was that and there or was it something else? 273 00:13:12.480 --> 00:13:15.480 Yeah, that's kind of like his agent or whoever is 274 00:13:15.639 --> 00:13:17.919 like when they're prepping him for the draft and for 275 00:13:18.279 --> 00:13:21.399 interviews and shit, that's what they that's how they kind 276 00:13:21.440 --> 00:13:24.120 of train him up. And Yeah, there is a scene 277 00:13:24.120 --> 00:13:27.159 where it's like, so are you a homo? Are you 278 00:13:27.159 --> 00:13:28.919 a queer? And he's like, why the fuck would you 279 00:13:29.000 --> 00:13:31.320 ever think that? Just because I sucked the guy's dick 280 00:13:31.360 --> 00:13:32.360 in the car last. 281 00:13:32.200 --> 00:13:37.519 Night and then shot him in the eye. Yeah, it 282 00:13:37.759 --> 00:13:41.039 fucking that one. There's a you might like it after 283 00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:43.679 you watch the Hernandez Show. I don't know. There's a 284 00:13:43.840 --> 00:13:45.840 like a one hour, hour and a half thirty for 285 00:13:45.919 --> 00:13:49.399 thirty or ESPN films whatever they call them. I think 286 00:13:49.399 --> 00:13:54.320 it's called swamp You And it's all about those Florida 287 00:13:54.360 --> 00:13:59.360 teams had like fucking criminals on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 288 00:13:59.399 --> 00:14:02.879 but they were led by Tim Tebow, the holiest man 289 00:14:02.919 --> 00:14:05.240 to work walk the earth since whoever. 290 00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:07.200 You know, right, that's a big that's a subplot in 291 00:14:07.240 --> 00:14:10.240 this show. Tebow's in there. And yeah, like the the 292 00:14:10.320 --> 00:14:11.639 fucking coach of that team. 293 00:14:11.519 --> 00:14:12.799 Or whoever is Ervan Meyer. 294 00:14:13.159 --> 00:14:17.480 H yeah, he keeps getting like castigated by the staff 295 00:14:17.480 --> 00:14:19.480 of the school, like, hey, why do we have all 296 00:14:19.480 --> 00:14:22.159 these fucking kids on your team who are in so 297 00:14:22.279 --> 00:14:25.200 much trouble? Why aren't you kicking them off the team? 298 00:14:25.200 --> 00:14:27.159 They should be expelled at this and that, and the 299 00:14:27.200 --> 00:14:29.360 guys like, put my team. I'm gonna have the best 300 00:14:29.360 --> 00:14:32.000 fucking team ever. It's gonna be the best team. 301 00:14:33.039 --> 00:14:36.919 So so it's a real strange dichotomy the way college 302 00:14:36.919 --> 00:14:39.840 football works and shit like that, where yes, you have 303 00:14:40.000 --> 00:14:44.320 these people who are student athletes, and student comes first 304 00:14:44.360 --> 00:14:46.639 for a reason, we're giving them a degree, and we 305 00:14:46.679 --> 00:14:48.720 want you to have the best blah, blah blah blah blah. 306 00:14:48.759 --> 00:14:52.200 Most of them get like basically the same degree I have, 307 00:14:52.759 --> 00:14:55.480 like communications or film or any of that. They get 308 00:14:55.519 --> 00:15:00.440 a lot of yeah something homework. Were you tons of homework, 309 00:15:00.480 --> 00:15:02.759 by the way, but it was like editing videos and shit. 310 00:15:02.840 --> 00:15:04.879 But yes, no real homework. 311 00:15:04.919 --> 00:15:05.559 That's got it. 312 00:15:06.320 --> 00:15:09.200 Uh, most of them get that kind of shit like 313 00:15:09.240 --> 00:15:11.159 you said about the lawyers and this and that a 314 00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:13.399 lot of them will keep them out of trouble. Now, 315 00:15:13.440 --> 00:15:16.240 you wouldn't normally do that for a student. I wouldn't 316 00:15:16.240 --> 00:15:18.399 think if they were in any kind of serious trouble. 317 00:15:18.840 --> 00:15:21.360 But then when you look at it, Urban Meyer, the 318 00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:24.679 head coach of that team, right, goes from that job 319 00:15:25.440 --> 00:15:29.799 to potentially something else where. If he wins at Florida, 320 00:15:30.399 --> 00:15:33.000 he goes onto an NFL job where he's making twelve 321 00:15:33.080 --> 00:15:36.080 million dollars a year and he's maybe making three over here. 322 00:15:36.399 --> 00:15:39.519 So he's winning important to you? Then fuck yes, it's 323 00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:42.559 important to me. I'm trying to win. This guy may 324 00:15:42.600 --> 00:15:45.600 have possibly killed somebody out of a club the other night, Yeah, 325 00:15:45.600 --> 00:15:48.519 but he catches the shit out of the ball. Get 326 00:15:48.559 --> 00:15:52.240 that motherfucker on the field. I get it, I get it. 327 00:15:52.480 --> 00:15:56.240 I get it from everyone's perspective, yehiger Aaron Hernandez. 328 00:15:55.679 --> 00:15:58.440 Is Oh no, I get it from his especially because 329 00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:01.159 like who hasn't sucked a gun and wanted to shoot 330 00:16:01.200 --> 00:16:03.120 him in the head afterwards from. 331 00:16:03.000 --> 00:16:08.000 Guilt to me? Uh so I get that, But no, 332 00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:10.519 I have not watched that show. I just I watched 333 00:16:10.559 --> 00:16:13.879 The Menendez Ones and I'm I'm a little uh, I'm 334 00:16:13.960 --> 00:16:17.840 tapped for a little bit on Ryan Murphy after you know, No, 335 00:16:17.960 --> 00:16:20.039 I get you. I can't go back and finish that 336 00:16:20.159 --> 00:16:23.200 Kim Kardashian season. I think it was really bad the 337 00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:24.159 first half I watched. 338 00:16:24.200 --> 00:16:25.360 Oh yeah, that one sucked. 339 00:16:25.519 --> 00:16:28.879 I think the writers strike fucking like put a stop 340 00:16:28.919 --> 00:16:31.279 to it or something, or like they stopped midway through 341 00:16:31.320 --> 00:16:31.799 the season. 342 00:16:31.879 --> 00:16:34.440 I think, right, did they You don't think they did. 343 00:16:34.919 --> 00:16:38.279 I'm pretty sure they did. Let's see. I am dB. 344 00:16:39.080 --> 00:16:46.279 I'll check the release dates of them American arm Story anyway. Well, 345 00:16:46.279 --> 00:16:49.360 I'm looking this up. Uh. 346 00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:52.639 Just leave him in fucking suspense, dude, don't say any 347 00:16:52.679 --> 00:16:56.159 anyways or any Just fucking let them, let them hold. 348 00:16:56.440 --> 00:16:58.639 You don't have to be combative with the audience. 349 00:16:59.200 --> 00:17:01.799 They just feel like sometimes I feel like they're trying 350 00:17:01.799 --> 00:17:02.519 to hate crime me. 351 00:17:02.759 --> 00:17:06.480 Yeah. Look see September. Oh am I sharing? Yeah, yeah, 352 00:17:06.519 --> 00:17:14.759 I see it, September, September, October, October, October, April, April, okay, April. Yeah. 353 00:17:14.799 --> 00:17:17.599 So but they finished, Yeah, they did finish. I just 354 00:17:17.640 --> 00:17:18.559 never went back to it. 355 00:17:18.720 --> 00:17:21.359 Oh okay, So I bet it sucks when it finishes. 356 00:17:22.319 --> 00:17:23.799 I mean I didn't finish the last season. 357 00:17:23.799 --> 00:17:26.559 I don't think it started to They. 358 00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:29.799 All suck anyway. Wait, baseball team's in. So it's the 359 00:17:29.880 --> 00:17:36.440 Yankees and the Dodgers. My wife can name every baseball team. 360 00:17:36.680 --> 00:17:39.680 If you give her a city, I could name probably 361 00:17:39.759 --> 00:17:42.440 six teams. Could you really? How many do you actually 362 00:17:42.440 --> 00:17:44.279 think you can name? Let's go through them real quick. 363 00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:45.839 How many are there? 364 00:17:46.079 --> 00:17:48.599 Yankees and Dodgers. There's either thirty or thirty two. I 365 00:17:48.640 --> 00:17:49.079 think it's I. 366 00:17:49.839 --> 00:17:52.759 Wouldn't have guessed Dodgers really. If you hadn't, I just 367 00:17:52.759 --> 00:17:54.640 said it now, So yeah, okay, Yankees. 368 00:17:54.319 --> 00:18:01.119 Dodgers, Red Sox, White Sox, Indians, Nope, Guardian Okay, so 369 00:18:01.240 --> 00:18:05.680 I take that off the table. Then, okay, give me 370 00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:06.079 a second. 371 00:18:06.119 --> 00:18:10.200 Oakland A's where do what major cities do we live near? 372 00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:16.640 Philid? Oh, the Phillies. Okay, another New York team Mets. Okay, 373 00:18:17.400 --> 00:18:18.759 aren't there teams from Canada? 374 00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:23.119 They're Toronto Blue Jays and there used to be the 375 00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:28.519 Montreal Expos and they went to Washington. Washington Nationals. 376 00:18:28.519 --> 00:18:30.359 They are I was gonna say the Maple Leafs, but 377 00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:31.000 that's hockey. 378 00:18:31.279 --> 00:18:32.839 Yeah it is hockey, but at least you know it. 379 00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:35.279 That's Toronto. Yeah, there you go. 380 00:18:35.319 --> 00:18:35.640 All right. 381 00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:40.160 Well, I have a video of some people who are 382 00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:47.400 cognitively better than you, better than me as well, naming 383 00:18:47.599 --> 00:18:50.319 baseball teams. And I don't know if it's funny or not. 384 00:18:50.440 --> 00:18:57.000 I just like it. The Phillies are the Bells. 385 00:18:57.640 --> 00:19:00.720 Why because it's because they have a their logo. 386 00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:02.599 So you got to think about it in the mind 387 00:19:02.640 --> 00:19:05.119 of a dummy. We're going visual first, and the first 388 00:19:05.160 --> 00:19:07.160 thing I see is what I shouted out, like when 389 00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:09.599 I'm like ohm, on's when we come on zoom and 390 00:19:09.640 --> 00:19:11.680 I'm looking at you, and it just comes to my 391 00:19:11.759 --> 00:19:13.359 mind it's because I'm retarded. 392 00:19:18.599 --> 00:19:19.640 The Kimbers. 393 00:19:20.440 --> 00:19:22.839 Yeah, you know what, this bit stinks. I don't like 394 00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:23.400 this one. 395 00:19:24.000 --> 00:19:26.160 Yeah, I don't understand what is the Kimbers. 396 00:19:26.200 --> 00:19:28.279 You really need to see the video because these dummies 397 00:19:28.279 --> 00:19:32.039 I ain't made for broadcasting. It said KC. So it's 398 00:19:32.039 --> 00:19:35.880 the Kimbers. I'll put the link in the episode of description. 399 00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:39.359 I feel like I'm talking to a fucking three year old. 400 00:19:41.799 --> 00:19:43.839 All right, well, then I have a better video for you. 401 00:19:43.920 --> 00:19:45.759