WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:02.560
<v Speaker 1>This program is intended for mature audiences only.

2
00:00:18.280 --> 00:00:21.559
<v Speaker 2>You are now listening to Observable Radio.

3
00:00:37.880 --> 00:00:40.479
<v Speaker 1>Hi, there, it's Cameron Siuey. We're back again with another

4
00:00:40.479 --> 00:00:43.119
<v Speaker 1>short tale from the early days, a folksy little story

5
00:00:43.119 --> 00:00:45.280
<v Speaker 1>of a walk past a farmhouse on the open road.

6
00:00:45.920 --> 00:00:48.640
<v Speaker 1>Maybe it's a story about one thing pretending to be

7
00:00:48.679 --> 00:00:52.039
<v Speaker 1>about another. We hope this stranger is treating you all well,

8
00:00:52.320 --> 00:00:54.479
<v Speaker 1>and we'll have some news about season two coming soon.

9
00:00:54.880 --> 00:00:56.399
<v Speaker 1>If you'd like to get more updates, we'd love to

10
00:00:56.399 --> 00:00:58.640
<v Speaker 1>have you join us over on Patreon, where we have

11
00:00:58.679 --> 00:01:02.600
<v Speaker 1>some little artifacts to share. Shortly and now, after a

12
00:01:02.600 --> 00:01:06.439
<v Speaker 1>brief word from the Observable Radio Company store, here's tonight's story.

13
00:01:08.799 --> 00:01:11.159
<v Speaker 2>Have you been looking high and low for the latest

14
00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:14.599
<v Speaker 2>Observable Radio merchandise? Are you hot on the trail of

15
00:01:14.599 --> 00:01:18.519
<v Speaker 2>our comfy T shirts, vibrant holographic stickers and elegant eat

16
00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:25.200
<v Speaker 2>enamel pins. Have you been asking questions? Well, you need

17
00:01:25.239 --> 00:01:29.560
<v Speaker 2>to stop right now. They're watching you and they know

18
00:01:29.719 --> 00:01:33.359
<v Speaker 2>what you're doing. Did you even consider the possibility that

19
00:01:33.400 --> 00:01:36.680
<v Speaker 2>you were being observed? Did you take any steps to

20
00:01:36.719 --> 00:01:41.959
<v Speaker 2>conceal yourself? We saw what you did. You didn't have

21
00:01:42.040 --> 00:01:46.519
<v Speaker 2>to do that. For the time being, you should be safe,

22
00:01:46.560 --> 00:01:51.159
<v Speaker 2>but for God's sake, show a little discretion. You are

23
00:01:51.239 --> 00:02:08.240
<v Speaker 2>now by from observable radio.

24
00:02:01.640 --> 00:02:05.879
<v Speaker 1>Before the sun is high above me. By the time

25
00:02:05.920 --> 00:02:08.080
<v Speaker 1>I see the farm on the horizon with its tattered

26
00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:11.159
<v Speaker 1>yellow flag whipping in the hot breeze. The central roof

27
00:02:11.240 --> 00:02:13.599
<v Speaker 1>beam of the barn is bowed, sagging gently in a

28
00:02:13.599 --> 00:02:16.520
<v Speaker 1>way that feels warm and inviting the childhood ideal of

29
00:02:16.520 --> 00:02:19.000
<v Speaker 1>a barn. There have been a half dozen farms along

30
00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:21.439
<v Speaker 1>the last stretch of road, but none displayed the signal

31
00:02:21.439 --> 00:02:25.280
<v Speaker 1>flag or showed any signs of habitation. It is providence

32
00:02:25.439 --> 00:02:27.280
<v Speaker 1>that I should come to this place, so I step

33
00:02:27.319 --> 00:02:30.560
<v Speaker 1>off the highway onto a weak, choked gravel path. I've

34
00:02:30.560 --> 00:02:32.960
<v Speaker 1>been following a highway thirty seven all morning, the black

35
00:02:32.960 --> 00:02:36.080
<v Speaker 1>top scar dividing the glass still wetlands to the south

36
00:02:36.120 --> 00:02:38.879
<v Speaker 1>from the fields and hills of wild golden grass to

37
00:02:38.919 --> 00:02:42.240
<v Speaker 1>the north. Alone, except for the elegant cranes above the

38
00:02:42.280 --> 00:02:45.159
<v Speaker 1>water and the herds of deer grazing in the dry brush,

39
00:02:45.479 --> 00:02:48.439
<v Speaker 1>I find long, silent hours to reflect and meditate on

40
00:02:48.479 --> 00:02:51.759
<v Speaker 1>the days past and the glorious days ahead. I savor

41
00:02:51.840 --> 00:02:56.280
<v Speaker 1>the quiet emptiness of creation beneath my feet. The pavement

42
00:02:56.360 --> 00:02:58.960
<v Speaker 1>is hot and the air shimmers. In the distance, there

43
00:02:59.039 --> 00:03:02.240
<v Speaker 1>is a wet earth. The riot of smells like fresh

44
00:03:02.319 --> 00:03:05.639
<v Speaker 1>tilled soil and still waters. The wine and drone of

45
00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:09.000
<v Speaker 1>insects is a monotone symphony, unbroken save for the short

46
00:03:09.039 --> 00:03:12.319
<v Speaker 1>cries of waterfowl. The Vallejo Crater is far behind me,

47
00:03:12.439 --> 00:03:14.960
<v Speaker 1>now hidden by a ridge of meek hills and the

48
00:03:15.000 --> 00:03:19.000
<v Speaker 1>opalescent summer haze. Ahead, a little farmhouse comes into view.

49
00:03:19.080 --> 00:03:22.840
<v Speaker 1>Behind the barn, a leaning, two floored structure, pale yellow

50
00:03:22.879 --> 00:03:26.360
<v Speaker 1>paint peeling in the sun. My heart sings at the

51
00:03:26.439 --> 00:03:29.159
<v Speaker 1>charming innocence of the little home. I try to imagine

52
00:03:29.159 --> 00:03:31.719
<v Speaker 1>it without the thick wooden boards nailed over the windows

53
00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:35.199
<v Speaker 1>and doors, without the furrowed claw marks on the barricades

54
00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:38.280
<v Speaker 1>on the wrap around porch. An elderly man in a

55
00:03:38.319 --> 00:03:41.960
<v Speaker 1>stained white shirt stands up as I approach, slow and stiff,

56
00:03:42.199 --> 00:03:45.680
<v Speaker 1>and wipes his hands on his jeans. With no particular hurry.

57
00:03:45.759 --> 00:03:48.919
<v Speaker 1>He hoists and shoulders his rifle, bringing the sights into

58
00:03:48.919 --> 00:03:51.599
<v Speaker 1>alignment with our eyes. I pull the corners of my

59
00:03:51.599 --> 00:03:55.280
<v Speaker 1>mouth into a smile and wave ho there. He barks

60
00:03:55.439 --> 00:03:58.560
<v Speaker 1>in a voice like tumbling rocks. Would you mind speaking?

61
00:03:58.639 --> 00:04:04.039
<v Speaker 1>Please your name? Caleb? I reply no, point in line.

62
00:04:04.479 --> 00:04:06.919
<v Speaker 1>I concentrate on holding the grin firm and come to

63
00:04:06.960 --> 00:04:09.000
<v Speaker 1>a stop as I swing the pack off my shoulders.

64
00:04:10.120 --> 00:04:14.280
<v Speaker 1>I just I saw your flag. That's why we have

65
00:04:14.319 --> 00:04:16.560
<v Speaker 1>it up. The rifle comes down at his side and

66
00:04:16.560 --> 00:04:18.839
<v Speaker 1>he steps off the porch, the aching of his joints

67
00:04:18.920 --> 00:04:22.360
<v Speaker 1>visible like a road sign. What can I do for you, Caleb?

68
00:04:22.879 --> 00:04:25.879
<v Speaker 1>I exhale and raise my eyebrows with what I hope

69
00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:29.000
<v Speaker 1>is a convincing look of honest confusion. But to tell

70
00:04:29.040 --> 00:04:31.079
<v Speaker 1>you the truth, sir, I'm not sure if I need anything.

71
00:04:31.160 --> 00:04:33.399
<v Speaker 1>I just got excited to see the flag. It's it's

72
00:04:33.439 --> 00:04:37.040
<v Speaker 1>been a little while, I imagine it has, he says, softly.

73
00:04:37.639 --> 00:04:40.319
<v Speaker 1>It's been a while since anyone's seen it. Where are

74
00:04:40.319 --> 00:04:40.920
<v Speaker 1>you coming from?

75
00:04:41.000 --> 00:04:41.279
<v Speaker 2>Son?

76
00:04:42.040 --> 00:04:44.920
<v Speaker 1>Around the crater and before that, out of Winter's up

77
00:04:44.920 --> 00:04:47.279
<v Speaker 1>on the way to Sacramento. He cocks his head to

78
00:04:47.319 --> 00:04:50.279
<v Speaker 1>one side and regards me for a long moment, absently

79
00:04:50.360 --> 00:04:53.000
<v Speaker 1>chewing on his lip. It's a long way on foot,

80
00:04:53.160 --> 00:04:57.680
<v Speaker 1>he says, at last, where you headed the ocean? I think, sir?

81
00:04:58.040 --> 00:05:00.319
<v Speaker 1>He smiles wide at this, and when it his skin

82
00:05:00.399 --> 00:05:03.040
<v Speaker 1>creases into a weathered map of joy. I see so

83
00:05:03.279 --> 00:05:07.399
<v Speaker 1>clearly what a good and righteous man he is. It's

84
00:05:07.399 --> 00:05:09.480
<v Speaker 1>evident at once that God has led me here, and

85
00:05:09.560 --> 00:05:12.680
<v Speaker 1>I thank him for his guidance. He takes another step,

86
00:05:12.800 --> 00:05:15.160
<v Speaker 1>leaving his rifle behind him, and I struggle for one

87
00:05:15.240 --> 00:05:18.680
<v Speaker 1>hot moment to keep still, to wear the mask in

88
00:05:18.720 --> 00:05:20.959
<v Speaker 1>a hurry to get to the ocean. Caleb, he asks,

89
00:05:20.959 --> 00:05:24.720
<v Speaker 1>with a few dry truckles that could be mistaken for coughs. No, sir,

90
00:05:25.120 --> 00:05:27.160
<v Speaker 1>his smile is infectious, and I no longer have to

91
00:05:27.199 --> 00:05:30.120
<v Speaker 1>strain to affect the expression. I'd just like to get

92
00:05:30.160 --> 00:05:32.959
<v Speaker 1>there sometime before the end of September. The heat makes

93
00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:35.639
<v Speaker 1>them sluggish, so it's been easy traveling so far. He

94
00:05:35.720 --> 00:05:38.600
<v Speaker 1>barks once with laughter at this. No need for sir,

95
00:05:38.879 --> 00:05:41.000
<v Speaker 1>he says with a wave, as if it embarrasses him.

96
00:05:41.399 --> 00:05:46.319
<v Speaker 1>I'm Daniel, pleasure meeting you, Caleb. Likewise, Daniel, I nod,

97
00:05:46.560 --> 00:05:49.120
<v Speaker 1>luring my eyes for a moment, a gesture of deference

98
00:05:49.120 --> 00:05:53.639
<v Speaker 1>and submission, practiced so often it almost feels natural. Listen, Caleb,

99
00:05:54.040 --> 00:05:55.920
<v Speaker 1>I wonder if you'd be interested in a day's work.

100
00:05:56.399 --> 00:05:58.160
<v Speaker 1>I've got a beam on the barn that's rotted through.

101
00:05:58.279 --> 00:06:00.120
<v Speaker 1>I got sure, use a hand setting up a break. Yes,

102
00:06:00.680 --> 00:06:02.120
<v Speaker 1>we can give you as much food as you can

103
00:06:02.160 --> 00:06:05.079
<v Speaker 1>carry fresh off the farm. You interested. I opened my

104
00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:06.680
<v Speaker 1>mouth to speak, and he cuts me off with a

105
00:06:06.720 --> 00:06:08.720
<v Speaker 1>rapid shake of his head. You don't need to know

106
00:06:08.759 --> 00:06:10.720
<v Speaker 1>the first thing about carpentry. I just need you to

107
00:06:10.759 --> 00:06:13.959
<v Speaker 1>be able to hold some planks and follow directions. Daniel,

108
00:06:14.199 --> 00:06:16.199
<v Speaker 1>I think that would make me very happy, I say,

109
00:06:16.680 --> 00:06:20.000
<v Speaker 1>with something approaching sincerity, The thought of good, honest work

110
00:06:20.040 --> 00:06:22.399
<v Speaker 1>with my hands to better Daniel's last day as fills

111
00:06:22.439 --> 00:06:25.959
<v Speaker 1>me with warmth. I offer my hand and shake. His

112
00:06:26.040 --> 00:06:29.000
<v Speaker 1>hand is calloused and cool, and his grip is still strong,

113
00:06:29.800 --> 00:06:34.800
<v Speaker 1>perhaps stronger than mine. And make note of this good good.

114
00:06:35.120 --> 00:06:38.000
<v Speaker 1>He nods, his eyes narrowing a little. A nervous twinge

115
00:06:38.040 --> 00:06:40.240
<v Speaker 1>of paranoia bolts through me, and I harden my smile,

116
00:06:40.279 --> 00:06:44.120
<v Speaker 1>fixing it into place. Well, shall we get started. I

117
00:06:44.199 --> 00:06:46.360
<v Speaker 1>lean my backpack against the porch and turn to follow

118
00:06:46.439 --> 00:06:49.000
<v Speaker 1>him towards the barn. He glances out towards the highway

119
00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:51.319
<v Speaker 1>and then back over his shoulder at me. You didn't

120
00:06:51.319 --> 00:06:54.399
<v Speaker 1>see any sickos on the road or nearby, did you, No, sir,

121
00:06:54.560 --> 00:06:57.720
<v Speaker 1>I respond with a little laugh at his vernacular. I

122
00:06:57.720 --> 00:07:00.279
<v Speaker 1>haven't seen them all morning. It's been nice and quiet.

123
00:07:00.759 --> 00:07:03.199
<v Speaker 1>He gives one last scan at the horizon and turns

124
00:07:03.240 --> 00:07:06.319
<v Speaker 1>away with a little nod of satisfaction. We enter the

125
00:07:06.319 --> 00:07:09.560
<v Speaker 1>barn and I have my first lesson in carpentry. I

126
00:07:09.600 --> 00:07:12.160
<v Speaker 1>devour every word, he says, as we brace and buttress

127
00:07:12.199 --> 00:07:15.600
<v Speaker 1>several of the barns rotting timbers. I struggle to absorb

128
00:07:15.639 --> 00:07:18.399
<v Speaker 1>all the information he can offer. Surrounded by a cacophony

129
00:07:18.399 --> 00:07:21.839
<v Speaker 1>of clucking and baying farm animals. He shares his advice

130
00:07:21.879 --> 00:07:26.079
<v Speaker 1>on woodworking farm labor with an almost guilty pride. Lowering

131
00:07:26.120 --> 00:07:30.040
<v Speaker 1>his voice conspiratorially, he is aghast at the fact that

132
00:07:30.079 --> 00:07:33.079
<v Speaker 1>I don't carry a gun. With only a little prompting,

133
00:07:33.120 --> 00:07:35.279
<v Speaker 1>he tells me some of what he remembers from before.

134
00:07:36.279 --> 00:07:40.160
<v Speaker 1>I am a blank page rapidly filling. I fall into

135
00:07:40.199 --> 00:07:42.839
<v Speaker 1>the easy rhythm of the simple, repetitive actions, and we

136
00:07:42.879 --> 00:07:46.959
<v Speaker 1>are finished far earlier than I wish. The air grows cool,

137
00:07:47.160 --> 00:07:50.199
<v Speaker 1>and the whine of mosquitoes rising off the wetlands is audible.

138
00:07:51.040 --> 00:07:53.279
<v Speaker 1>It feels almost perfunctory when he invites me in for

139
00:07:53.319 --> 00:07:56.680
<v Speaker 1>dinner with him and his wife and a powerless against

140
00:07:56.720 --> 00:08:02.000
<v Speaker 1>the inevitable, except with all my good grace. Caroline is

141
00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:05.240
<v Speaker 1>a slow and doughy woman, with thinning hair and rotting teeth,

142
00:08:05.319 --> 00:08:07.879
<v Speaker 1>and I take a liking to her at once. She

143
00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:10.480
<v Speaker 1>unlocks the thick barricaded door to let us in, and

144
00:08:10.600 --> 00:08:12.639
<v Speaker 1>I am met by a bouquet of smells from the

145
00:08:12.639 --> 00:08:16.319
<v Speaker 1>small kitchen. The peppery grease of fried meets the bright,

146
00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:19.519
<v Speaker 1>sharp tang of something bitter and green. I am already

147
00:08:19.560 --> 00:08:22.800
<v Speaker 1>salivating as I bow politely before her. When Daniel introduces me.

148
00:08:24.160 --> 00:08:26.720
<v Speaker 1>Caroline remarks over dinner that she's never met anyone as

149
00:08:26.720 --> 00:08:29.439
<v Speaker 1>polite and well mannered as me, that even before I

150
00:08:29.439 --> 00:08:32.279
<v Speaker 1>would have been called old fashioned. I am silent for

151
00:08:32.320 --> 00:08:36.120
<v Speaker 1>a moment, flaring with panic, and conscious of all my affectations,

152
00:08:36.399 --> 00:08:38.120
<v Speaker 1>even the ones I no longer have to think about

153
00:08:38.159 --> 00:08:41.080
<v Speaker 1>to maintain. But it's obvious by her wide grin that

154
00:08:41.200 --> 00:08:44.879
<v Speaker 1>she finds me charming. I was raised well, I offer,

155
00:08:44.960 --> 00:08:48.159
<v Speaker 1>with a smile, feeling my heart rates slow. My parents

156
00:08:48.200 --> 00:08:50.440
<v Speaker 1>were God loving people, and we had a very secure

157
00:08:50.480 --> 00:08:53.519
<v Speaker 1>community in winters. She nods heartily at the mention of

158
00:08:53.559 --> 00:08:57.159
<v Speaker 1>God and closes her eyes. Daniel looks momentarily embarrassed and

159
00:08:57.200 --> 00:08:59.919
<v Speaker 1>shifts in his chair. The tiny flashes of his box

160
00:09:00.159 --> 00:09:03.360
<v Speaker 1>language fill my heart with sadness. I offer up the

161
00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:05.519
<v Speaker 1>tin of freeze dried coffee I've found in the lock

162
00:09:05.600 --> 00:09:08.360
<v Speaker 1>trunk of a car outside the crater, and we sit

163
00:09:08.440 --> 00:09:11.279
<v Speaker 1>and talk late into the evening, trading news and stories.

164
00:09:11.279 --> 00:09:15.320
<v Speaker 1>We've heard, much of it baffling and contradictory. It was

165
00:09:15.399 --> 00:09:18.320
<v Speaker 1>Caroline who brought up the end times, and I tried

166
00:09:18.320 --> 00:09:21.919
<v Speaker 1>to defer to Daniel's visible discomfort by suppressing my own fervor.

167
00:09:23.039 --> 00:09:24.879
<v Speaker 1>I just can't see how Dan can still deny it

168
00:09:24.919 --> 00:09:27.559
<v Speaker 1>after all these years, She tells me, as he shifts

169
00:09:27.559 --> 00:09:29.799
<v Speaker 1>in his chair. It's just like it says in the Bible.

170
00:09:29.840 --> 00:09:32.240
<v Speaker 1>The dead risen. These days are proof that he is coming.

171
00:09:32.840 --> 00:09:36.360
<v Speaker 1>Daniel smiles on a lesser man. It would look patronizing,

172
00:09:37.360 --> 00:09:40.399
<v Speaker 1>I would argue the opposite. He locks eyes with her,

173
00:09:40.759 --> 00:09:43.320
<v Speaker 1>and I can see the weathered and worn smooth love

174
00:09:43.399 --> 00:09:47.600
<v Speaker 1>between them, the old argument long set aside. I gently

175
00:09:47.639 --> 00:09:51.879
<v Speaker 1>steer the conversation away. When they retire, I excuse myself

176
00:09:51.879 --> 00:09:54.960
<v Speaker 1>to sleep outside, refusing the offer of the battered old couch.

177
00:09:56.240 --> 00:09:58.840
<v Speaker 1>I unfurl my bedroll beneath the stars and soak in

178
00:09:58.879 --> 00:10:02.879
<v Speaker 1>the chaotic summer night. The constellations are a shimmering riot,

179
00:10:03.159 --> 00:10:05.600
<v Speaker 1>and I trace the shapes I know again and again.

180
00:10:05.720 --> 00:10:08.519
<v Speaker 1>As the stirring breeze from off the water cools the air,

181
00:10:09.399 --> 00:10:12.159
<v Speaker 1>I close my eyes and concentrate on the near silent

182
00:10:12.240 --> 00:10:14.919
<v Speaker 1>passage of a coyote as he walks in a slow

183
00:10:14.960 --> 00:10:17.759
<v Speaker 1>half circle around me before bounding off into the dark.

184
00:10:18.399 --> 00:10:21.679
<v Speaker 1>The night is woven with life. It cradles me like

185
00:10:21.720 --> 00:10:26.320
<v Speaker 1>a nest. I sleep long and well. I awake before

186
00:10:26.399 --> 00:10:31.159
<v Speaker 1>dawn and prepare myself. Daniel is up before me. He

187
00:10:31.200 --> 00:10:33.720
<v Speaker 1>has packed a box full of fresh cabbage and squash,

188
00:10:33.879 --> 00:10:36.000
<v Speaker 1>a dozen grapefruit, as well as a half dozen jars

189
00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:39.120
<v Speaker 1>of homemade jambs. He looks at me with a sheepish

190
00:10:39.200 --> 00:10:41.440
<v Speaker 1>grin when I discover him filling the box, and I

191
00:10:41.519 --> 00:10:44.559
<v Speaker 1>know more than ever that God has not led me astray.

192
00:10:45.440 --> 00:10:47.960
<v Speaker 1>There is a contentedness that fills me as I approach.

193
00:10:48.919 --> 00:10:52.879
<v Speaker 1>Thank you, Daniel, and she's right, you know, I say,

194
00:10:53.240 --> 00:10:55.879
<v Speaker 1>smiling at him. He opens his mouth to speak, but

195
00:10:55.960 --> 00:11:00.080
<v Speaker 1>his eyes are crinkled in confusion about the end I offer,

196
00:11:00.679 --> 00:11:05.559
<v Speaker 1>and I see that he understands. Look, Caleb, I see

197
00:11:05.559 --> 00:11:08.279
<v Speaker 1>how much this pains him. I wonder if he lost

198
00:11:08.320 --> 00:11:11.519
<v Speaker 1>his faith or if he ever had it. I don't

199
00:11:11.519 --> 00:11:14.399
<v Speaker 1>really want to have this argument, not with you. The

200
00:11:14.480 --> 00:11:18.320
<v Speaker 1>dead aren't rising. This is a disease who says viruses

201
00:11:18.360 --> 00:11:21.679
<v Speaker 1>can't be divine or diabolical. The revenants are just one

202
00:11:21.720 --> 00:11:24.759
<v Speaker 1>of the signs. I'm already starting to strain with exhilaration

203
00:11:24.840 --> 00:11:28.759
<v Speaker 1>as I somehow manage to keep my words even and slow. Kid,

204
00:11:29.600 --> 00:11:34.679
<v Speaker 1>I'm really not interested his brows furrow and frustration, making

205
00:11:34.720 --> 00:11:38.039
<v Speaker 1>him look ten years older and tired. And take another

206
00:11:38.039 --> 00:11:42.120
<v Speaker 1>step towards him. Daniel, I am sorry for what you've

207
00:11:42.120 --> 00:11:46.000
<v Speaker 1>had to go through. You didn't deserve it. I lock

208
00:11:46.039 --> 00:11:49.200
<v Speaker 1>eyes with him and continue moving. I want to make

209
00:11:49.240 --> 00:11:52.639
<v Speaker 1>it right for you. I put one arm around him

210
00:11:52.679 --> 00:11:55.639
<v Speaker 1>and pull him toward me. I can feel him start

211
00:11:55.679 --> 00:11:58.879
<v Speaker 1>to panic in my arms, his strength undiminished by the years.

212
00:11:59.519 --> 00:12:02.399
<v Speaker 1>He starts to say my name. The first hard syllable

213
00:12:02.399 --> 00:12:04.799
<v Speaker 1>exites his lips and then stops as I slide my

214
00:12:04.840 --> 00:12:07.399
<v Speaker 1>thin blade gently between his ribs and into his heart.

215
00:12:08.799 --> 00:12:11.480
<v Speaker 1>I hold tight and whisper to him as he slips away,

216
00:12:11.679 --> 00:12:15.120
<v Speaker 1>eyes growing dim Afterwards, I lay him on the floor

217
00:12:15.159 --> 00:12:18.559
<v Speaker 1>and admire with a twinge of jealousy, the peaceful expression

218
00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:22.480
<v Speaker 1>on his pale face. Caroline is still in bed, but awake.

219
00:12:23.399 --> 00:12:25.440
<v Speaker 1>I could smell the sickness on her the night before,

220
00:12:25.600 --> 00:12:27.960
<v Speaker 1>the demonic taint to the disease flapping in the air

221
00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:31.759
<v Speaker 1>like a chemical flag. But it is stronger now, surging

222
00:12:31.799 --> 00:12:34.840
<v Speaker 1>forward as she grows weaker. I sit next to her

223
00:12:34.879 --> 00:12:38.840
<v Speaker 1>on the bed, smiling warmly. She is fixated on the

224
00:12:38.879 --> 00:12:41.159
<v Speaker 1>blood on my shirt, and I curse myself for the

225
00:12:41.240 --> 00:12:46.120
<v Speaker 1>lapse in empathy, for scaring this good woman, Caroline. I

226
00:12:46.200 --> 00:12:50.200
<v Speaker 1>know you must have felt sometimes like God has abandoned you,

227
00:12:50.759 --> 00:12:55.480
<v Speaker 1>like you've been left behind. But you're not. No one

228
00:12:55.639 --> 00:13:00.360
<v Speaker 1>will be left behind. God is loving. She is shaking

229
00:13:00.440 --> 00:13:02.840
<v Speaker 1>and fear, and I want so badly to be able

230
00:13:02.879 --> 00:13:05.360
<v Speaker 1>to comfort her, but I know she will understand as

231
00:13:05.399 --> 00:13:08.600
<v Speaker 1>soon as I have set her free. Tears well in

232
00:13:08.639 --> 00:13:11.360
<v Speaker 1>the corners of her eyes, and I'm so happy for

233
00:13:11.440 --> 00:13:15.000
<v Speaker 1>the opportunity to do these good works to save good

234
00:13:15.039 --> 00:13:18.840
<v Speaker 1>people like this. I know you're sick, and I know

235
00:13:18.919 --> 00:13:21.759
<v Speaker 1>you're scared, but I won't let that stop you from

236
00:13:21.799 --> 00:13:26.200
<v Speaker 1>going home. Daniel will be waiting for you, I tell her,

237
00:13:26.639 --> 00:13:30.000
<v Speaker 1>stretching my smile wider. I press the pillow tight against

238
00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:32.399
<v Speaker 1>her face, cupping my hand above her nose and mouth.

239
00:13:33.360 --> 00:13:35.879
<v Speaker 1>She only struggles for a few moments, and I stroke

240
00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:38.679
<v Speaker 1>her hand and sing old hymns as she grows still.

241
00:13:39.480 --> 00:13:41.759
<v Speaker 1>After I use the knife to cut and shred the

242
00:13:41.840 --> 00:13:45.240
<v Speaker 1>vertebrae just above her shoulders. I have seen the disease

243
00:13:45.279 --> 00:13:47.720
<v Speaker 1>take hosts that were already ours dead. But without the

244
00:13:47.759 --> 00:13:51.200
<v Speaker 1>spinal column, the beast can never take Caroline's body and thrall.

245
00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:53.960
<v Speaker 1>I do the same for Daniel, even though he seems

246
00:13:53.960 --> 00:13:57.120
<v Speaker 1>free of infection, because I take what I do very seriously.

247
00:13:57.840 --> 00:14:00.200
<v Speaker 1>I am an instrument of God, and there are any

248
00:14:00.240 --> 00:14:03.440
<v Speaker 1>good souls that need to be called home. I bury

249
00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:06.559
<v Speaker 1>Daniel and Caroline side by side beneath the noon sun,

250
00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:09.360
<v Speaker 1>and say a few happy words over their earthly remains.

251
00:14:10.360 --> 00:14:13.120
<v Speaker 1>There is much joy in me, and a little pride

252
00:14:13.120 --> 00:14:15.840
<v Speaker 1>as well, but mostly I know how lucky I am

253
00:14:15.879 --> 00:14:18.679
<v Speaker 1>to have been chosen. I fill my pack with fresh

254
00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:21.120
<v Speaker 1>food from the kitchen before I leave, thanking them both

255
00:14:21.159 --> 00:14:25.559
<v Speaker 1>silently for their gifts. I am on the road, the

256
00:14:25.600 --> 00:14:28.919
<v Speaker 1>sun again on my back, and the ocean ahead. This

257
00:14:29.200 --> 00:14:32.440
<v Speaker 1>is the end of history, the winter of God's creation.

258
00:14:33.759 --> 00:14:52.279
<v Speaker 1>Still there is work to be done. You have been

259
00:14:52.320 --> 00:14:57.039
<v Speaker 1>listening to Observable Radio. Tonight's episode before was performed by

260
00:14:57.039 --> 00:15:00.799
<v Speaker 1>The Ensemble, written by Cameron Suey, Produced by Cameron Suey,

261
00:15:00.840 --> 00:15:04.600
<v Speaker 1>Phil Van hest Purparina and Wendy Hector. Edited by Cameron Suey.

262
00:15:04.679 --> 00:15:08.679
<v Speaker 1>Our psychology consultant is doctor Elisa Leal. Art by Carin Fletcher.

263
00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:12.159
<v Speaker 1>Our theme is the back Rooms performed by Mew. Additional

264
00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:15.799
<v Speaker 1>music from this episode provided by American Legion, Will Harrison,

265
00:15:15.879 --> 00:15:20.440
<v Speaker 1>Tim Koolig, Roots and Recognition, and Wanderer's Trove. Observable Radio

266
00:15:20.519 --> 00:15:23.159
<v Speaker 1>is listener supported thanks to all of our patrons and listeners,

267
00:15:23.200 --> 00:15:28.679
<v Speaker 1>including Kathleen John Tidd, Russ, Rick Callison, Brianna Zach and Jasper.

268
00:15:28.799 --> 00:15:31.039
<v Speaker 1>Patrons fund the production costs of the show, as well

269
00:15:31.039 --> 00:15:34.159
<v Speaker 1>as get access to behind the scenes information, extra production

270
00:15:34.279 --> 00:15:37.320
<v Speaker 1>material and a discount at the Observable Radio Company store

271
00:15:37.399 --> 00:15:39.840
<v Speaker 1>and an ad free early release feed of this show

272
00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:44.200
<v Speaker 1>all at Patreon dot com slash Observable Radio. Thank you

273
00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:45.960
<v Speaker 1>for listening and stay tuned.