Speaker 1: Oh hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, Please don't close the door.
Just hear me out. Please please please. I know, I
know I'm the last person that you ever want to see.
I know that I'm terrible. I know I'm not trying
to start anything. I just I need to apologize to
you for everything I did. Please. I know I can't
make up for everything I did to you, but can
I at least try? Thank you? Seriously? Can I come in?
I'm getting soaked in the rain. Thanks. I promise I
won't take up much of your time. Sure some water
would be great. Thank you. Look, I know this isn't
going to make anything better, and I know I hurt
you a lot. I know that, and I've come to
terms with the fact that I have to live with
the reality that I have not been a very good person. No,
this isn't a grand scheme to get your guard down.
I don't do that anymore. I'm trying to be better.
I don't blame you for dodging my calls or rejecting
my invitation to lunch and coffee. I know you don't
want to see me, and I know that coming to
your house is party out of line too, But I
just really really really wanted to apologize properly to you,
So if it's okay, can we just sit down and
talk because saying I'm sorry just isn't good enough. Thanks.
I was an awful person back in I'm not proud
of a single thing that I did during high school,
least of all how I treated you. I know it's
a long time ago now. The way you reacted to
me reaching out tells me that you're not over it
and you haven't forgotten what I did. No, I don't
know how anyone could forget the terrible things I did,
and I don't expect you to. I was I was
going through a lot of a lot of stuff and
it doesn't matter really, like it's not about me, but
I had a lot of family problems and it doesn't
excuse any thing I did. And I don't want you
to feel sympathy for me. But I just want you
to know that it wasn't you. I wasn't bullying you
because you were ugly or pathetic or weak or anything
like that. Even though I said things like that, The
reality is that I hated you because you were better
than me in every way, Yes, better than me, you
are smart, kind It seems like you brightened up the
room whenever you were in it. You could lift people
up they were having a bad day. But me, I
made people frown rather than smile. Seeing someone so positive,
they pissed me off. I figured, well, he's some kid
that doesn't have a difficult life and he's smiling about it.
So I did what I always do, and I bullied you.
I tried to beat you down to my level so
I didn't feel so alone, so inadequate, so worthless, so
I didn't feel sick to my stomach every time I
thought about how awful everything was. No, I'm fine, I'm
just so sorry. No, you didn't deserve to be treated
like that. And I did not have the right to
make your life hell because I was too pathetic to
handle my own problems. And I know that you probably
didn't even have an easy life. No one does. Everyone
has their own trauma and their own problems to handle.
And just because you seem positive doesn't even mean that
you were just making the best of a bad situation.
It's one of so many hard lessons I've pets A
learned since becoming an adult and not a stupid, brainless team. No, no, no, no,
don't let me off the hook. I'm not here for forgiveness.
I'm here to give you closure. I'm doing it again,
aren I. I'm sorry. I haven't changed. I'm here because
I'm still so selfish. I couldn't live with myself. I
couldn't live with who I was. I came here to
give you an apology that means absolutely nothing to you,
hoping that if it went o't okay, I could convince
myself that maybe I wasn't a horrible, terrible, worthless person,
that I was a better person than I was back then.
But I'm not. I'm not. I'm still trying to manipulate,
opening old wounds, pretending like I was such a victim,
still a stupid bully. I'm sorry. I'm gonna go. I'm
really sorry for disturbing you and making you go through
these feelings again. And I promise I won't contact you again. Okay,
I promise. What are you doing? Leck off my hand? Please?
I need to leave. No, please, don't let me off
the hook like that. No, I don't deserve it, Tom
being so nice to me. I'm a horrible person. Yell
at me, Tell me to get out of your home.
Tell me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm
such a bad person. Yeah, are you sure we don't
have to do this? Then we don't have to talk
about any of it. I don't deserve closure. Okay, I
can do that if you think it's valuable for you
as well. All Right, I'm sorry for freaking out like that.
I'm still not one hundred percent over my issues. I
guess No, it's not fine. None of this is fine.
This is proof that I'm still toxic. I guess that's true.
How did you do it? I mean I treated you
horribly every day, and yet you never took it out
on anyone else. You never stopped being positive. Even now,
you're just so so sweet. Yeah, you're right, you are
better than me. I know you're joking, but it's true
you are. And I just want you to know that
I really meant it when I said all of that
stuff I said about you was not true. I never
meant it. You're honestly handsome, and you were never weak
or pathetic. I was describing myself. I was what do
they call it projecting? No, trust me, you don't want
to know about my family or my home life. Back then, Okay, well,
I guess you deserve to know at least a little bit.
It's a lot of complicated stuff, but long story short
and involved a loveless marriage, constant fights, and lots and
lots of alcohol. Yeah. I mean it was what it was.
Some people had it a lot worse than me, and
they handled it more gracefully. There was no excuse. But
there were a lot of nights where I couldn't sleep
at all because of all the screaming. And I didn't
have any money either, so I started stealing things, and
then my dad found out, and let's just say I
had to cover up some bruises. No, I got away
from it all. I moved out as soon as I
I turned eighteen. I had a few really really rough
yewrs trying to turn everything around, a lot of therapy
and like meditating and stuff. But I'm doing better now. Yeah. Well,
the guilt was my main motivator for trying to make amends.
But my mom actually she came back into my life
in a good way. That is, she had gone sober
for six months finally, and she apologized to me. It
helped me out so much. I hadn't talked to her
since she screamed at me while I was moving out
of the house, and I guess it just made her
take a look at herself and make some real changes
in her life. I don't know, it just inspired me,
like maybe I could be a better person too if
I tried. And I know it's not the same and
we're not the same people, but it was so hard
to forgive my mom for everything. I still haven't for
a lot of things. But I get it. I get
that you don't want to forgive me, and I don't
expect you to, but I do understand, at least to
some degree, how you feel. Well, that's that's actually a
good outlook to have. I suppose sometimes there's no making
things right, just making them better than they were. Thank
you seriously for hearing me out. I know this is
hurting you to sit down with me like this, but
I just want you to know that I'm so appreciative
of you giving me this chance, even though I don't
deserve it. No, you don't need to apologize for that.
I would have been trying to avoid me too if
I was in your position. Wait, what you want to
be friends? No you don't. That's sweet, but you don't
need to be nice to me like that. You're serious? No,
I mean, you're an amazing guy. I'd be honored to
be your friend. But I don't deserve that. I really
don't deserve that. I don't even know what to say.
Ten minutes ago, you didn't even want to look at me.
Now you're smiling, holding my hand. Wow, you really are
great guy, Laren. You say that gives me I hope
that one day maybe I can forgive my family. So friends, then,
what do you mean more than friends? What could be
more than friends? You're not asking me out what? No?
I don't. I don't. I don't deserve that. No, no, no, no,
I don't deserve that. I mean, I mean I I would,
I would like to. But are you sure? I really
didn't expect this anything close to this, for that matter?
But how why? Why would you ever want to date
a mess like me? You had a crush on me
in school, you're kidding, So the whole time I was
bullying you, you were attracted to me. Oh my god,
that makes me feel even worse. That's why you were
so nice to me despite everything, And I figured that
you were just trying to rub it in my face. God,
I'm such an idiot, all right. Well, since we're being honest,
I had a crush on you too. Yeah, I know
how that sounds stupid and unbelievable, but it's true. Yes,
I thought you were super cute and handsome and smart
and talented, and your personality was infectious and it hurt
like you were such an inspiring person. But that just
made me feel worse about you, so I tried to
push you away. And I don't know why I did that.
I mean, I guess I do, because I was so
messed up. Yeah, you're right, no point in dwelling on
past mistakes, just moving past them. Thank you for giving
me a second chance, well a one thousandth chance, I guess.
I don't really know what to say. I wasn't expecting
any of this at all, and I still feel like
it's a dream, because I was really ready for me
to show up here and have you scream at me
and tell me what a terrible, horrible person I was,
and instead you've only shown me compassion and kindness that
I don't deserve. And now you're even saying that you
want to go on a date with me, and I
just I'm grateful, Yes, I'm free, Then why is that
when you want to have the date? You're the best. Seriously,
You've grown into such a brilliant person despite everything, and
you inspire me to want to be better. And I
hope that one day I can be half the person
that you are. No, I mean it. I don't deserve this,
but here you are. I'm looking at me like I
never did a damn thing wrong in my life. We
both know that's not true, but it means a lot, really,
it does. I am I should go. I have to
pick up my mom from the train station. We have
dinner once a week and it helps us to gradually
repair things. Yes, I'm looking forward to our date and
it's my treat. By the way, you're not paying one cent. No, no, no, no, no,
you are not paying any money at all for the
foreseeable future. It's the least I can do. Okay, and
thanks again. This was an awful conversation to have, but
it went as well as it could possibly go, and
I'm just so happy that we're parting on a good note. Oh.
I may or may not have gone through the list
of people you went to school with until someone coughed
up your number. I'm not a perfect girl, okay, but
I promise I'll be better every day. I'll improve for
you if nothing else. I really like you too, thanks
for being so supportive of me. I liked my hair,
really you like it? Thank you. I started to take
better care of it now, actually using conditioner and other
girly stuff. I mean, I don't really care about it
beyond making myself look like a cute little goth, but
taking care of putting thought into how I diet and
how I cut it. It's something that's kept me grounded
and stable for the past few years. So it's really
nice that you noticed. Hey, can I give you something
before I go? It's nothing much, just a little something special.
Thank you again. If our date goes as well as
today did, I'll probably kiss you on more than your cheek.
I'll see you later. Here's the new beginnings and new friends.
See you soon.