Speaker 1: What's that, Archie?
Speaker 2: Uh, there's a fire in the bank building.
Speaker 1: No, you don't need to hire that facocta fucking con woman.
Kiyo Cuckoo or whatever her name is. Patty's been talking
to Archie the entire season. Archie just said, tam Rat.
He says that his mom's SB just polished off a
twelve pack of dose Sekis and she made him go
in the car with her, right.
Speaker 3: Hillo, Welcome to another brand spanking new episode.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, Ruby's not here, and I wanted to ask
about JJ and JJ get the hitched? Any details on
the wedding? What JJ and JJ marring? Who's the Johnny
Jansen and Jesus Jugs? Oh?
Speaker 2: They got married?
Speaker 1: They got married? Tam Ratt was there.
Speaker 2: No, this is the first I'm hearing about it.
Speaker 1: Can we call Ruby?
Speaker 2: Uh? I think she said a corporate event?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's right. Should I pick up? It's probably
boring there, You want to call her?
Speaker 2: Call her? You want you iteens raising reviews.
Speaker 1: So it starts kind of words, It's buzzball Friday.
Speaker 2: By Tho, It's buzzball Friday. I hope you guys are
having a fantastic weekend.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you know when they just hit that button, like,
I'm not talking to this person right now.
Speaker 2: That's the message though.
Speaker 1: Or you have finished recording, you may hang up. Hey, Rubes,
it's Patty, Hey Ruby. Johnny Jansen and Jesus Jugs got
married this past weekend. Uh. You know you're the Bravo expert.
Can you call us back for the podcast let us
know if there's any details that our listeners need to
be aware of. Thanks, BYEO.
Speaker 2: I thought it was a good voicemail, pretty sturdy voice.
Speaker 1: Concise, yeah clean.
Speaker 2: Oh. When I leave a voicemail, I ramble on and on.
Speaker 1: Can I tell you what my wife does to me
when I'm on the phone. She usually calls me when
she's in the car. She'll go, you know, I was
thinking yesterday, hold on, um and uh and and you
hear like she's backing up to park into a parking
spy beep beep, Hold on a second. And I'm like,
I'm a human being and I'm on hold right now. Okay,
I'm not a fucking robot, right, You're putting me as
a human being on hold? Yeah, why don't you hang
up the phone and then call me when you have
a concise, clear thought.
Speaker 2: I put people on hold all the time. I'm rolling
so many calls. Man, Wow, I like to get in
the car and talk. You know, I get it. I
have to say Patrick's. Trying to get a hold of
Patrick is like trying to get a hold of an
international assassin. He'll just be on the phone for one
second and they'll just go boop and then you won't
hear from him.
Speaker 1: Well, that's because my phone is twelve years old.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is bad TV. We're here to talk about
the Real Housewives of Orange County Killing is here? Hello,
Pats here, Dyll's here.
Speaker 1: You know I'm having a It's not only is it
buzzball Friday. It's Friday somewhere. By the way, don't worry
about it. If you're listening to this on Tuesday, it's
Friday for you. I have a lot of people that have.
Speaker 2: Different Really Friday somewhere. If you're listening on like a Monday,
because it's not Friday anywhere, Really, hold on, hold on,
hold on.
Speaker 1: Hold on. What if you're like in the your occupation
is a nurse or a firefighter. H your work days
or Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday's your day off and Tuesday.
Technically that's a Friday for you, And you're completely in
your right to go buy a buzz ball and listen
to the podcast, don't it. For years I had to
work on weekends. My friday was a Monday and a Tuesday. Hey,
in other news, I know my wife listens to that podcast.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be I don't want to be
this guy. But when you say technically.
Speaker 1: It's incorrect.
Speaker 2: Technically, Look, I don't know how to talk technically. This
is Friday.
Speaker 1: Okay, I've gotten really far in my life, but understanding
the English language.
Speaker 2: Shout out to all the nurses and all the first
responders who have to work on the weekends.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not American. Yeah, American is Monday to Thursday.
And even if you are in the office, you you
like work a half a day, even if the boss
doesn't know it.
Speaker 2: No, America is backbreaking work constantly or just kind of
feed up croquet playing. Yeah, that's kind of America. It's
quite a beautiful diconomy USA. All right. So anyways, enough
my fucking communist rhetoric.
Speaker 1: Goddamn Marxist. Yah, I want to get your thoughts on
this guys. You know my wife, I often think she's
repulsed by me. Today this was a move. I think
I'm gonna get some action tonight.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go we'll get into a real housewife soon.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I uh, she goes, ah, Pat, I need
toilet paper. You know, she was in the bathroom going peepee,
And normally I'm a gentleman. So I grabbed the toilet
paper out of the linen's closet and then I hand
it around the corner and she goes, you can come
in here. And I got to see my wife naked,
and I'm like, holy crap, I think she's in me.
I'm gonna try and hit this tonight, okay, and that's
a couple hours away, so hopefully I don't drink too
many buzzballs.
Speaker 2: Wet, you're already at uh two two two? And what?
And and how many buzzballs? Is too many buzzballs?
Speaker 1: Probably four?
Speaker 2: You're an August baby, right, July July baby? Fuck? Well,
I think I know what I'm getting Pad for Christmas.
Speaker 1: A case of buzzballs.
Speaker 2: Well you'll see, you'll see. Do we have to get
Kaylen a gift?
Speaker 1: He's a friend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But obably even get it.
Speaker 1: One of our best episodes of the year is the
End of the Year podcast where we gift each other stuff.
Speaker 2: That's a good point. It is Caylen and have to
get us stuff there.
Speaker 1: I want to get this podcast so successful. So you
guys need to share this show and grow. Like I
feel like we've come into our own, Like we're hitting
our stride now. I want to buy Kaylin a jet
ski for Christmas. So whatever you can do to, you know,
help the effort.
Speaker 2: And and whoa, whoa, that's a lot we're splitting it. Yeah,
we could get to that point where we could get
Kaylin a scudo to rot in his driveway.
Speaker 1: I have a fucking asshole friend trying to sell a
houseboat right now for one hundred and fifty k. It
doesn't have a motor. You have to tow it out
in the water. I'm like, oh, good luck selling this
by the way, Yeah yeah, good, good job being a
sucker for you buy.
Speaker 2: Well, I'll tell you what the that that right there
that could launch a YouTube career. Okay, young upstart couple
they buy this house boat and they just renovate it. Yeah,
they've vlogged the reno and they.
Speaker 1: Get towed around the world.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, crazy stuff. Okay, let's talk about
the Real Housewives of Orange County. Let's do it, but
first we have to talk about love is blind?
Speaker 1: Love is blind?
Speaker 2: Oh, because people, we're not doing it.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: I don't know how much more clear we can be
the inquiries can end. We're not doing it.
Speaker 1: Okay, a lot of people. We gotta be respectful of
our little patties and batties. You guys pay us money.
I totally get it. This is our first season that
we're skipping. They've burned us so much. It's like, how
many times are we going to be beaten down?
Speaker 2: Okay, let's say Pat and I. Okay, we're in a polycube, right,
Do you know what that is?
Speaker 1: Is that where we get to bang each other?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're in a house and everybody's banging right, and
we have track marks now and we didn't want to
have those, but we gotten this polycube and it's bad
for us, but it's entertaining for you. There are cameras
up everywhere. You want us to go back in that
Hall of horrors for your entertainment.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. I'm trying to get clean. Is
that a good analogy? Yeah? Uh, this season is actually good.
But I will say it's not good enough that we
are gonna consume fifteen and a half hours of television,
Thank you so, but it is good. I'll give it
to you. There are some interesting characters in this season,
very interesting.
Speaker 2: Case closed on that, all right, Real Housewives of Orange
County Tonight was a it was just a bizarre episode.
Bizarre episode. We've got a lot of innocence projects.
Speaker 1: Stuff, multiple charities.
Speaker 2: We've got multiple charities. The Oreo Cheesecake cookies.
Speaker 1: Wow, those are delicious, and if you buy one, you
can help or you can just give them the money.
All the circumstance, like someone had to bake cookies, someone
had to lend you their property to do this. Just
give them the money.
Speaker 2: Just write a check. What are you gonna do by
one hundred Oreo Cheesecake cookies? Just pay him. But then
we've got the Gretchen Slade, Eddie Tamar stuff. And I
just want Tamra Tamra Judge. I want so far away
from all of us, and it couldn't be further from that.
Right now, it's weekly, all.
Speaker 1: Right, So I've thought about this a lot with Tamrat
because she is a very unique individual in that she
has She's part of a very small group of people.
She has had a quarter of her life documented on television.
The Kardashians, those Sister Wives people, you.
Speaker 2: Know, Cody still doing it.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they're still doing it. They've probably been on
television for fifteen years.
Speaker 2: How many wives?
Speaker 1: I think four. This is the discussing part about Cody
is every woman he marries, he's like, they like eat
the poison apple, they put on one hundred and twenty
pounds and they get depressed. I won't ever marry that guy.
So tam Art has been on television a quarter of
her life. It's been documented. I think in a way
she has that is signing a deal with the devil.
She gets to be famous and be on television and
makes them dough. But her one of her daughters does
not talk to her, despises her. I think she's seen
her four times in the last ten years, so that's great.
And then she has a nair dwell loser son who's
got kids running around fucking everywhere, a total loser, and
she doesn't have any real relationships. She sits on this
show and fights with these people. She made a deal
with the Devil. I think it's gonna be a very
sad last couple of years.
Speaker 2: Of her life on this show, or just in general
in general.
Speaker 1: The deal with the Devil.
Speaker 2: Yeah, me is like the Jurassic Park franchise, Like, I
don't need anymore, right, We've had too many. It's starting
to get toxic, and it's starting to fight with everybody.
I mean the last Jurassic Park they were going in
and taking eggs from dinosaurs. That's toxic. We don't need it.
Speaker 1: I only this is what I had to say about
that movie I got. I watched twenty two minutes of it,
and I paid for it. I was like, yeah, I'm good,
I'm good.
Speaker 2: You know what, we're gonna go see you tomorrow? What
not Paul Thomas Anderson movie.
Speaker 1: Finally, finally you haven't seen it yet? No, I think
it's out, Yeah, it's out. I talked to a dude
that started doing a preview and he said it's his
best movie since Boogie Nights.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And you know, we started watching Phantom Thread and Preparation.
Such an amazing movie.
Speaker 1: Is it really?
Speaker 2: Yeah? It really is?
Speaker 1: Can you give me a couple beats on that, and
then we'll.
Speaker 2: Let a couple beats about fan fan thread.
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, like you give me the selling point.
Speaker 2: Designer, very high strung designer, finds a new muse and
welcomes her into his toxic high caliber life. Murder, No,
no murder, okay, no murder. Control love sounds like a
slow burn. And it's a beautiful movie. Okay, it's a
beautiful movie. And Daniel da Lewis is just I cannot
like the performances come alive in these very small moments
and you're like, it's like a concerto of the entire
way through. It's unbelievable what he does. Really, Oh yeah, unbelievable.
I'll check it out. Yeah, you gotta check it out.
Let's talk about the real house for County.
Speaker 1: Okay, how many?
Speaker 2: How many three tits?
Speaker 1: All right, I'm gonna give it fourteen oranges. Yeah, there's
a lot of like fighting from all directions, like Emily
and Gretchen can't stand each other, Heather Debro and Tamrada
going at it like allegiances are no more.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's toxic, but we start off with another and Kalyn,
how many oranges would you give it thirteen you didn't
like it?
Speaker 1: Can I start us off? Yeah, of course, all right,
Emily and Gratchers go shopping.
Speaker 2: Please please, no, no no, But before you do that,
you've missed another fucking Avengers end game teaser. Oh coming up,
fucking thing that we start the episode with. You know
what I'm talking about? Where we re teas that Katie
and Tamar are going to be sitting down. We have
no taglines, there's no intro to the show at all.
It's just what are you on the Vice YouTube channel? Like,
what is this? You know? Thank you? You can go now.
Speaker 1: When I grew up in the eighties, every show began
with credits with a wonderfully composed song that brought you
into it. Game of Thrones later brought that bump bump
bum it got you excited. I never understood what the
maps were.
Speaker 2: But the new one they're coming out with.
Speaker 1: I said, yeah, they're coming out with a new one. Yeah,
I think people are over it.
Speaker 2: I don't want to do Duncan Egg for that that
long right, committing to Duncan Egg. I mean, listen, maybe.
Speaker 1: Is it a different series. By the way, we all
talk about Orange County in a second, Kaitlyn, do you
mind playing the theme to Taxi?
Speaker 2: I don't know that he can do that, can you?
Speaker 1: I can do it, but I am live switching, so
you're gonna no, that's fine, Just do a like a
wide shot on us or something.
Speaker 2: He doesn't have a wide he's not playing the taxi theme.
He's not. I'll play it, all.
Speaker 1: Right, play that, play it, I'll and then we're going
to start the show, okay, as he's trying to find it,
is it a.
Speaker 2: Does it ruin the whole show? If you know who
Egg is the little Kaitlin if the ball? Do you
know who Egg is? I don't even remember who? Oh
you don't know who Egg is?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, not a lot of people.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, that's a pretty big twist.
Speaker 1: Let me know when you're ready, because I'm gonna get
us into the show. Yeah, this is what happens when
Ruby's not here. She tell us both to shut out.
Speaker 2: I know she would, Okay, she would.
Speaker 1: Emily and Gretcher's go shopping. Emily has thoughts on Gretcher's attire. Hey, Emily,
in your interview, Look that spray tan job is so cheap.
You look like a fucking glazed donut. It's disgusting. Oh,
here you go. Anybody remember this. I guess you guys
were all born in nineteen ninety. It really kicks it in.
This would open the show. Taxi jud hirsh Danny Oh
got lrip pal but he went out higher than Michael Jackson.
Merrily Lou Henner. Yeah, she has that thing where she
can what do you call it? Where she can?
Speaker 2: Randall Carver, no clue.
Speaker 1: Oh and Andy Kauffman, did you know I heard a
story that and this was Danny DeVito and Fly on
the Wall. He uh, this is how amazing Andy Coufman was.
They went to eat a Jerry's Famous Delli. Sorry, they
went to eat it Jerry's famous deli on Ventura Boulevard,
which is no more.
Speaker 2: It's just a disgusting chemist. It's not even there, right.
Speaker 1: Uh. Andy worked there as a waiter during taxi.
Speaker 2: Wow, dude, taxi is one of those I cannot even
can you imagine being waited on by Andy Kaufman.
Speaker 1: I'm sure it'd be good service.
Speaker 2: He would like spill ketchup on you, all right, and
then punch you in the face. Right. It's a bit though.
Speaker 1: It's a bit, I'm doing a car alternative comedy.
Speaker 2: I'm bleeding. The blood has has kind of flowed into
the ketchup now and I'm not sure what's going on.
You'd be like, yeah, it's funny. Don't you see that?
That's funny.
Speaker 1: Uh, you want to get into the first two seconds
of the show. Okay, all right, So Emily plans on
hosting an event for a group of wrongfully convicted people.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you? I just want to tell you
only we could have kept going for forty minutes hip
hopping and beat bopping around all over the place.
Speaker 1: Well, that's what PMZ is for.
Speaker 2: We're gonna We're gonna tamp it down right now. We're
gonna get to.
Speaker 1: The show, right we are, I promise.
Speaker 2: Okay, But Taxi is one of those cultural blind spots
for me, and it pains me because that is like
I will when you hear that cast, when you hear
that music that is so enticing. I'm not going to
watch Taxi. No, I'm not. I'm simply not. Hell, I've
lived my entire life without it.
Speaker 1: Well, you have a lot of time on the planet.
I think people are gonna stop creating content in two
thousand and sixty three and then we'll have to watch Taxi.
Speaker 2: I would love that. All right, let's get into real.
Speaker 1: Okay, Emily's gonna host that event for wrongly convicted people,
and that's because she's no longer practicing law. She never started,
so that's that's cool. I think I started, but she no, no, no,
she got her law degree and then she wanted to
spend more time with her kids, one of which she
didn't know couldn't read and was in the fourth grade.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so he's twelve, she was twelve, and uh, and
she was like, I got the most heartbreaking news. My
son's not autistic. I just didn't know that he couldn't
read right, and he may be autistic. And what she's
going through is very very real and it's very very scary.
But also, yeah, I mean, how.
Speaker 1: Do you know your kids? My wife and I read
books to both of our kids every night. And guess what,
I don't want to fucking do it. I don't want
to do it, but I need to read the book
to the kids, so the kid starts reading.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know, I've been reading books to to Lucy,
and I got to say, you know where the wild
things are? Is great, but.
Speaker 1: It's it's horrible message. That kid's a little ass.
Speaker 2: The Max is like, you know, the guy from Into
Thin Air or or whatever that fucking book is where
he goes out into the Alaskan wilderness and then he
eats the wrong potato sprout and shits.
Speaker 1: Himself and he actually, uh yeah, he ates some flowers.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: He also killed that cow and let it rot the moose.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah, so yeah, Max is like, but most
of the book is like, is the the ruckus that
that all of the monsters have and there you can't
even read anything. They're just it's they're just having a ruckus.
Well they're having a pile and then and then and
then he fucking leaves and they're all sad. He's like,
fuck you, I'm leaving. I'm gonna go get some food.
Speaker 1: It's a horrible message, horrible, horrible.
Speaker 2: Get in the comments let us know if we don't
get it. I mean, anyways, all right.
Speaker 1: Uh we meet Anthony the Exonery again. I remember him
from like two seasons ago. Yeah, he wants to go
to mechanics school now, and this is what the fundraiser
will pay for. Uh, it's a noble cause. But uh,
I'm sure Anthony's gonna do okay with the thirty thousand
dollars pittance. Uh after he adds that to his twenty
million dollars lawsuit for imprisoning him wrongfully for eighteen years.
Speaker 2: Okay, can't a This was an overarching question I had
about the episode. These people are like walking around like
I need money to uh to go to mechanics school.
You know, the GI Bill was was very, very a
beautiful thing that this country did when it was great.
How are these fucking people not getting compensated to go
to trade school if they've been wrongly conveyed?
Speaker 1: Okay, so fifteen I will say this, this is why
some of our governance is evil. Yeah, they will sometimes
because they don't want to make that payout. They'll go
all right, look here, Anthony, Yeah, it looks like you're innocent.
We fucked up.
Speaker 2: Okay, mistakes, we fucked up, And I'm really sorry. I
know that you've been in Singh sing for seventeen years
and have gotten stabbed four times by three different toothbrushes.
Speaker 1: But but ah, we're trying, we're really we're really having
an issue here because we want to let you out.
But we don't want to pay eighteen millions, So why
don't you sign this piece of paper saying that you
can't sue us civilly for this? And yeah, we'll kind
of say that we both had problems.
Speaker 2: Right, right, right, but I didn't have any problems.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you want to get out of here, don't you.
Speaker 2: You're gonna have a problem if you're still in here.
You've been stabbed four times with three different toothbrushes, So
sign the papers?
Speaker 1: Are you sure? Reach?
Speaker 2: Are you sure?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So that might have been what happened.
Speaker 2: It's so fucked up.
Speaker 1: They actually did this to a girl. We watched a
dateline on it where I was like, she should sue
the shit out of them, and they actually had her
say that I'm while I'm not exonerated, saying I'm not guilty,
They're gonna let me out, but I can't sue you guys.
Speaker 2: It's truly so yeah, Well, more on that later. Gretchen
looks like a fairy, But we have to get to
this lunch wherein Dammer shows up looking like a bee boy.
She's about to throw some cardboard down on the ground
and just fucking rip it the fuck up.
Speaker 1: Well, Dylan. She's distressed because Teddy has cancer and Daria
is off to college, which is not a college I
went there.
Speaker 2: It's the it's the hardest thing that she's ever had
to deal with.
Speaker 1: Well, and that's funny you say that, Dylan, because she
wasn't stressed out that her other daughter hasn't spoken to her.
Speaker 2: For well, to be fair to Tamar, I think that
she's still very, very stressed about that, but no one really.
The issue that she's having is that this is such
a dark period and no one else cares. Oh yeah,
meaning that she would like to be even more of
a gravitational pull of attention and the fact that it's
not working is making her resent the other women. Throw
her into orbit, red Bull, can you do something opposite
of me? Can you do something with Tamara? Judge? Put
her up on a ramp, tell her it's okay, and
let's just see what happens. She might survive it.
Speaker 1: Who knows, Yes, launch her to Mars. It will be
our first reality TV start with Launch to Mars. So
bump into that fucking tesla. She though a goddamn asteroid.
She might do it, Okay, Now meet Paul brings up
the last time that tam Rat was emotionally drained like this,
it was when Gina looked like Ricky Rocket from the
Drummer of Poison. That was a horrible look. Boy, She's
come a long way and she still looks awful.
Speaker 2: She looked like she had bruises on her knuckles, but
we didn't see your knuckles. But it looked like she
really knew her way around Ricotta, you know. So we
talk about how Tamara has quit the show five times
eleven eleven, Yeah, and she says that she's hurt and
that you can't say that you can't trust her, right
because even though she has done investigative work on every
single one of these women, kind of like an Epstein light, right,
just there's a list, just getting this dirt, getting dirt
on people, getting dirt on people, and to say, knowing
her her scheme, that you can't trust her is a
discuss thing and she hates you for it. But we
get back to Oregon Trail and Emily.
Speaker 1: But Gretch's thinks Tamrat's and narcissist during this conversation. Yeah,
I'm only saying this because I'll forget you know, I
can't stand the debros Right, Terry, he must be listening
to this podcast. I know I'm mocking him. He's trying
to be a real human being. Now. He went on
a podcast and said, I love being famous. I love
the attention. It's the right amount of famous. I'm filthy rich.
By the way, my wife and all her castmates hate
doing this show, and they're doing it for money. Really,
there's there's something that when you're real and we know
you're being real in that moment, it connects us. Yeah,
makes you a human being. Good he did that this week.
Speaker 2: Good for Terry Man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, good for Terry and Terry. You are looking like
Frankenstein right now. Uh huh sure, And I don't think
that's a good advertising for you know, he's a he
fixes people's face. Yeah, well he's getting he looks like Frankenstein,
not the guy for doctor frank said, like after they
cut the guy's head off.
Speaker 2: You're talking about that monster, and and that monster was
extremely scary, the initial one, yeah, or the one that
Jacob Alordi will be playing. Oh is Jacob Elordi doing Frankenstone?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you haven't seen that trailer?
Speaker 2: Is he hot? Frankenstein?
Speaker 1: Well, he's uh, yeah, he's kind of good looking, I think.
And then they cut his head off and they square
it out like Frankenstein, doesn't.
Speaker 2: He goes no way?
Speaker 1: I think so. And Gambo del Toro is directing it.
It's quite the vision, you know.
Speaker 2: Can I say with Gamera hit or miss? You get there?
Too many creatures. I don't give a ship about the creatures. Okay,
Pants Labyrinth, I'll give you that. It's fantastic.
Speaker 1: But was that Pants Labyrinth? Is that World War one
or World War two?
Speaker 2: I don't know. It might have been like the Spanish
Civil Wars.
Speaker 1: Couldn't figure out what the war was about.
Speaker 2: There's some war going on. That guy was not happy.
Remember when the general, Yeah, the general when she cuts
his face open.
Speaker 1: Well he kills her. Oh sorry he does.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he does. He kills her. That's right, And is
it all okay or no? She's dead?
Speaker 1: Well, then she goes to be the queen of the Kingdom.
Speaker 2: The fairy kingdom. It's not real, that's right, So she
she's dead. She's dead.
Speaker 1: It's sad ending Yeah you saw it, Kaylin.
Speaker 2: It's my favorite movie. But it's funny watching what War.
I believe. It's like the Spanish Civil War, It's neither. Okay,
now I'm whole. And then and then that bread, that
little bread creature was that that wasn't real? Right, Kayla?
Well that's kind of the whole point of the movie.
You don't really know what's real and what isn't, So
that can be taken either way. Is it sad or
is it happening?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 2: The the sad the guy with the eyes that that
guy is real? Is he?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: That guy's real as ship sad movie? What was that
water one with the shape of water?
Speaker 1: Did you like that one?
Speaker 2: All right? Anyways, we're gonna move on.
Speaker 1: Or where are we?
Speaker 2: Debro gets there for lunch? Oh yeah, and I want
to talk about with the women. Order really quickly. Met
Ball gets a chef salad with salmon on top.
Speaker 1: Everyone's just eating protein, Gina, Are you.
Speaker 2: An eighty year old woman living in Boca Raton? What
kind of fucking order is that salad with salmon on
top of it?
Speaker 1: I think my wife is buying those salmon like rounds
now that you can cook in a microwave. She ate
that fucking thing in our bedroom, our space. Do you
know what that does to a space? Salmon remember what
happened last time someone uh tortured me with salmon? I
had to have sex with their daughter.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I had a co worker named Diane. She used to
cook salmon every day and she'd do a fat free
butter on top of it, cook it for a minute
and a half. It would stink the whole communal lunch
rom up there, and I'm like, Diane, I need to
have sex with you're doing because you did that to me.
Speaker 2: There's a guy at the studio three times a week
and I don't always catch him, but he's it's in
such a regular pattern, like when I see him, he's
always he's always doing that, and so I would imagine
that his numbers are through the roof. In humane, disgusting, criminal, inhumane,
I mean kind of like, uh, it's a true disconnect
from the rest of the world to do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's someone that like it's the same person that
uses the public restroom and they don't flush. They know
what they're doing.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, sorry, I just what I what was happening
was I needed to try some stuff onto the gap,
so I pissed on the floor.
Speaker 1: Like there's a lot of animals running. So HD joins
Meatball and tam Rat. Meatball says tam feels overwhelmed by
the lack of compassion, and HD tells tam Rat, look,
I'm your one of your best friends, and tam Rat
pushes back, and that's when tam is really upset because
the pylon was in front of Gretcher. There's nothing worse
than one of your enemies seeing you take shit from.
Speaker 2: All It's so telling that that that's the real issue
that Tamara had with it. Yes, and she says that
she's not sure that she can work through all of
this heartbreak.
Speaker 1: Okay, but the show for the eleventh time.
Speaker 2: Emily tells Gretchen that she mentioned the whole recording thing,
and this really sets Gretchen off because remember, there is
barely any difference between Tamra and Gretchen. We've just had
more exposure to Tamra. Gretchen does the same shit. Let's
get to Shannon Door.
Speaker 1: Well, I was gonna say, I do love how much
Emily hates Katie. And I think Emily hates Katie because
Katie's hot. No, No, I do really, it's that I
think that's the sole reason Katie has done. Look, she
can point to I didn't like that your daughter was
in my house saying that to my kids and then
lying that my kids hate the Debros, which I believe
they were absolutely repeating with their parents. Say yeah yeah,
but other than that, people have done way worse to Emily,
And she's still okay with him. She is really trying
to get her thrown off the show, icinger, she's got
a bug up or she's trying to ice her out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she really really is swear enough icing Katie out. Sorry, Okay.
So we get to Shannon Badoor and Archie, who takes
a ship on Jen's front lawn. Two ships. Actually I
only have one bag. And Jen says that when she
looks at she and and she starts laughing, us too,
us too, Jen.
Speaker 1: What's that Archie?
Speaker 2: Oh, there's a fire in the bank building.
Speaker 1: No, you don't need to hire that facocta fucking con woman,
Keyo Cuckoo or whatever her name is. Patty's been talking
to Archie the entire season. Archie just said, tam rat.
He says that his mom's SB just polished off a
twelve pack of dose Secis and she made him go
in the car with her right que Cuckoo's a fraud.
Speaker 2: Que Cuckoo's a fraud.
Speaker 1: She is good for her though. I hold a bunch
of nutty broads with animals where she gets to go
over there and go, oh, yeah.
Speaker 2: You know, my wife is a therapist for people, and
we were watching that. She said, you know what, it
makes me so sad. I guarantee you she makes more
money than me. Guarantee you just rolling around Orange County
talking at fucking dogs with gout.
Speaker 1: Five hundred dollars for a two hour session. You can
invite all your friends over all your other crazy friends,
and they'll I'll talk to your dogs and tell them
what they think about.
Speaker 2: That one wants to she's fucking drunk, That one wants
to fucking be picked up more, that one wants wants
a brother. Oh wow, just farts and leaves. This is
such a crazy thing that these people are doing. But
it's fun. So listen we go dog by dog.
Speaker 1: Oh you want to know what that one was? Uh?
That was? Was it Rosy aka Willow Willow? Yeah, she
was telling Keyo.
Speaker 2: Cuckoo, I'm dying.
Speaker 1: No, well no, she was like, this is where the
money that Ryan's She was trying to lead her to
the cellar.
Speaker 2: What's that, Willow?
Speaker 1: She said, oh, because she doesn't know she's not talking
to will She's like, oh, she wants more cookies. Oh okay,
so you're saying you actually done. Yeah, you should pay
me five hundred dollars an hour.
Speaker 2: So it's like parcel tongue, but for fat dog, that's right, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
the the golden Retriever, beautiful amber, golden Retriever, beautiful coat,
the therapist right out of the gate. You know that
we're off to a shaky start because she says that
this dog feels as though it's a gift, and which
is like, that's such a complicated consciousness, just the notion
of being a gift for these people, you know, man.
But then we get to fat Willow, and then we
get to Archie, who is really only screaming about how
his life is in danger constantly.
Speaker 1: Well, she hits a home run as far as esp Oh,
what's that, Archie. You don't want a best friend, you
don't want a brother. No, he wants out of this
fire house. Sorry, Archie, you have to deal with that.
No fucking con woman. I'm gonna grab a white cloth.
Speaker 2: Archie sounds like he's having a lot of fun, but
he does want a brother, and so Shannabador is going
to have two dogs. Now. She does ask a lot
of stuff. Shannabador kind of treats this therapist as kind
of like Patty, where this therapist doesn't speak to the dog, right,
she just kind of intuits the unsaid things. But Shannabador
is like, does does he like the bags that he's
chewing on at the house? I constantly say him chewing
these bags? Does he like those?
Speaker 1: Yes? He does. So let's get to the beginning, right,
Let's get to.
Speaker 2: The meeting of the minds Katie and Tamra. So they
get together for a total of I think forty one seconds.
Speaker 1: By the way, do you miss Katie at this point?
This is yeah, now been four episodes, Yeah, I do, okay.
Speaker 2: So they sit down and they cry about how the
rest of the cast does not like them because they're
both liars. Sketchy bitches. Bitches, yeah, sketchy bees. And this
is when Tamra kind of prize or rather just puts
a slop bucket down to collect all of the gossip
from Katie. Gretchen is lying about crazy Wasted said that
she went to the hospital, and Slade is now in
charge of the Watergate style cover up because of the
legal implication.
Speaker 1: He's not talking to Matt anymore. Put my ice now,
he's not a useful tool.
Speaker 2: It's too dangerous. It's too dangerous. Okay, can't be talking
to golf bros.
Speaker 1: Now, Katie says she wants to sit down with Slade.
Good luck with that. Good luck with that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well so Slade and Matt. Slade told Matt to
tell Katie to stick to the story. And what a
teaser for this moment. By the way, we've teased this twice,
so we teased it last week and then we started
the episode with the Memento kind of teas. We spent
more time with Meatballs sorting through shoes than we did
with these two.
Speaker 1: It was definitely an empty bag. It was sad to see.
I I think everyone's lying on a certain in a
certain way. You can't trust. Everyone's a horrible person. I
guess we always come back to that, right, Yeah, Yeah, Well,
let's get to Jen. Let's get to she's hanging out
with Rita and what I tell you, she finds a
random one Bill. Yeah, they're just falling out of people's pockets.
Speaker 2: Had a good point. Pat Rita is trying to tell
Jen where the bodies are. That's so crazy, and they're
probably are bodies, maybe one, one and a half. So
let's get to the junior cookies with QR codes and
the Treasure project. Treasure what Trevor Project Trevor. We can
all agree that she says that we can all agree
that kids in crisis need help.
Speaker 1: No, I disagree justin funck with her.
Speaker 2: What they don't need help, they can figure it out.
But I love that this place has a hotline because
evidently we've canceled our national one. It's uh. I think
they said that it was too expensive. Can't do it,
can't have the trannies on folds, can't do it.
Speaker 1: No. I don't not defending that person, but I think
this might have been filmed before that cancer Who knows.
Speaker 2: All Right, so let's get to Emily and the director
of the Innocent Center and the other exoneries we talked
about it. It's really disgusting to me that these people
are struggling this hard, and that is the only explanation
for it. They have. They must have to sign some
mediation agreement or something. Yeah, so well.
Speaker 1: And props to Emily for this. I know I made
fun of her, but I'm kind of glad this is
the new focus of her storyline and not Luke's eating habits,
you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but it does go back to Luke's eating habits. Yeah,
right here, because she says that, you know, she finds
out a story through one of these exoneries that the
first time he held his daughter was when she was
three years old, and it's so fucking heartbreaking to think about,
and it takes her back to Luke and she she
just thanks God because even though he likes white Rice
too much, she gets to see him every every day. Yeah,
and she's involved in his life to such a degree
that she has no clue that he is illiterate. That's
that's kind of your blessings. That's mommy, all right. So
we get ready for the hodown. Jen is getting glam.
She also has no money, so that's interesting. Shanna is
gonna wear a duster kind of like Neo, but with
more turquoise, you know, Neo.
Speaker 1: Neo from Matrix.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, Shamboo door looks like Neil.
Speaker 1: You're comment on that. I want to know what the
fuck Terry did to his face. It looks like he
does look like Colonel Sanders. He does look like Colonel.
Speaker 2: Well, Colonel Sanders had very kind of blushy racist skin,
you know, right, that's.
Speaker 1: Why they call the KFC. They did a rebrand.
Speaker 2: Oh, Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Speaker 1: Was that's KFC and it just blew up. Yeah, it's
doing really well.
Speaker 2: Wait what are you talking about.
Speaker 1: Colonel Sanders was the old version of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yeah,
and then when they just because you say, Kentucky Fried
Chicken now.
Speaker 2: Has his face and stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you had to get rid of that guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, let me think about what he did.
Speaker 1: Oh the other look, I want to comment, yeah, right,
the other comment Meatball shows up wearing.
Speaker 2: I mean, he stole the food of the people he
was enslaving and then started a fast food franchise.
Speaker 1: Is that what happened?
Speaker 2: Pretty much?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that son of a bitch, that's son of a bitch. Well,
I'll tell you what what he did is not as
nearly as bad as what Meatball did to us.
Speaker 2: I also, I'm not sure that he had slaves, because
I think he was around in like nineteen twenty or something.
Speaker 1: Yes, somewhere around it. But he's still a horrible person. Yea,
not as bad as Meatball, who showed up wearing what
Richie Sambor wore in the Bad Medicine bon Jovie music video.
Speaker 2: Patrick, if you could see my notes, yeah, if you
could see my sage, Jalen, was that what you were thinking?
My mike was off?
Speaker 1: Absolutely?
Speaker 2: What was your mic off? Were you eating back there
chewing gum?
Speaker 1: It's been a long day.
Speaker 2: It has been a long day. What kind of gummy
you chewing? Make a teen gum? Oh? Do you want
to ticktac?
Speaker 1: What happened with those patches?
Speaker 2: They kept sliding off?
Speaker 1: It's annoying. Can I tell you something? They're atizing a
get off alcohol pill? Now it's called or or something.
Speaker 2: Is it repository?
Speaker 1: What's that you shove it up your eyes? No? No,
hopefully not. But if they do a patch for slowly
dispensed alcohol, I'll be their biggest buyer.
Speaker 2: Yeaheah.
Speaker 1: I want to get off the booze. By the time
I'm in my mid fifties working towards that.
Speaker 2: You have, that's the worst time to get off the booze,
you think, so, Yeah, I mean you're supposed to kick
back right, well.
Speaker 1: You wind down, but now people are.
Speaker 2: Literally you take the patches off when you hit like
sixty seven.
Speaker 1: Well, Doctor Drew always says there's no helping you if
you're in the full throes of addiction. By sixty five.
He tells his clients like, just fuck it, go for it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, that's why he has such a good track
record on that show Celebrity Rehab, where I think everyone dies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, havef did?
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks for coming to this rehab. You know there's
nothing I can do for you. You're a drug addict, but.
Speaker 1: We're gonna film you.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: You know you can't smuggle drugs in here. Maybe Ken.
Speaker 1: Steven Adler, the drummer for Guns and.
Speaker 2: Roses Stiff Tequila.
Speaker 1: You know what's funny. I thought he had a speech impediment.
Turns out he was on crack. Yeah, that's why you
talk like that. He showed up to the first episode
of Celebrity Rehab afterhouse high on crack, and he bragged
he opened up a tinfoil thing and said, this is
crack I'm bringing in the house.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's how bold he was.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, he had a really fun time on that show.
Did subsequently pass away?
Speaker 1: No, he's still alive. He's alone, Steven Adler's appetite for destruction.
He's on tour as we speak.
Speaker 2: Oh, he's on tour.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well he has guns and Roses cover band that
plays with him. Yeah, still alive.
Speaker 2: Cool.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you think like, wow, you're on crack, you won't
be around too long. And then the fuckers live outlive everybody.
Speaker 2: I know, and we're worried about fucking microplastics on our
cutting boards. Steven Adler smokes crack. Maybe keeps them alive,
all right. Slade and Gretchen, they talk about Tamar and Eddie,
and Slade says that speaking on behalf of the guys,
we don't respect Eddie. Slade, who are you talking about?
You don't have any friends. You sit at home and
fucking jerk off all day and spend Gretchen's money. Well,
what guys are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Here's what I'm saying about Slade and Gretchen, them being away.
I like them. The more they're on camera, I'm reminded
that I think they're horrible people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know who's not a horrible person? Elizabeth
Vargas a little did you do you know?
Speaker 1: I have a celebrity crush on her? Really, she's my
celebrity past. Why'd you bring her up?
Speaker 2: She was on the television show what show this one? Yes?
Speaker 1: She was on this episode? Yeah, Caitlin, is he messing
with me?
Speaker 2: I don't know?
Speaker 1: How did I not see her?
Speaker 2: Elizabeth Vargas was on this television show. She was in
a pod of I don't know, fucking bitches talking about okay, yeah,
and they were talking about how much they hate each
other and stuff. Wow and uh and somebody rolled by
and was like, oh, look it's Elizabeth Vargas and who
is that?
Speaker 1: She's a newscaster. She used to host dateline, Kevin.
Speaker 2: Can you beep out? When I said she was in
a pot of bitches? I can mark it for you.
Can you mark that? Please? Thank you. I'm gonna forget
about that mark. There's a lot of marks.
Speaker 1: I think we're rounding home here. Yeah, all right, so uh.
A producer asked tam Rad a good question. Why do
you believe Katie? Now here's my take. Two things can
be true at once. Katie is a sketchy bitch. Slat
and Gretchen are horrible people and they used Katie as
a useful idiot.
Speaker 2: For sure, Katie is really bad at this, Yeah she is,
but they Oh yeah, there was this moment with Elizabeth
Vargas where she goes, it's such a great cause I
read the pamphlet, and tamer goes, what's the cause? She
has no idea what we're all here for. Elizabeth Vargas does,
Tamra doesn't. She's just showing up to film. So Bador
gets there and we raise the glass, but Gretcher's is
not here yet, and Emily asked Tamra if she's next?
What does that mean? Oh? Oh, she's sitting outside and
she's She's like, you're such a gatling gun of controversy
and mischief and I don't know if I'm next. You
know I'm your next target, right, And that's when Gretchen arrives.
Speaker 1: Palpable.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Slade has a lovely, just endearing moment with Terry
where he says, my wife is a hot cowgirl who
I know will ride a pony when she gets home.
That's gross. Uh, you have a bowling ball of a
torso and I don't want to think about that. Okay,
We line dance in the smoke. And then we get
to this meeting between Slade and Gretchen and Tamra and
Eddie and this is a massive problem.
Speaker 1: Well it wasn't really. Uh would you describe it as uh?
Speaker 2: I would describe it as Gretchen and Slade trying to
approach them and them walking walking away. Now, Tamra, if
you're gonna be a if you're gonna be a c
if you're gonna be just a horrible to everyone you
film with, you cannot walk away from the conflict that
you sew. That is unacceptable and that's what really tips
Tamar over the edge, right, Lisa Badoor not to always
go back to her, but she ruins people's days, weeks, months, Lisa,
Lisa Barlows Lisa Barlow. Yes, but when they confront her
about it, most often she'll sit in the pocket at
a table and just brawl. Yes, right, and she'll dig
her heels in and fight Shannon Madore. Tamra storm offs,
I'm not doing this fake quitting back to filming. The
next day when the sun is in the sky.
Speaker 1: Can I say this, this is what Gus sucks about
this world of reality TV, because you are literally on
the fame cycle or fame levels. You're like in the
D category. Can you imagine doing something that most people
know who you are? And then you turn the production
and go like, I'm getting fucked with? Do you mind
getting rid of these people? Because like Mariah Carey third
year into the music business would be like, I don't
want any people in the hallway, and they'll go, let
me clear it for you. When you're a TV reality star,
there is no respect like that. It's like tam rat like,
but she feels like power.
Speaker 2: I see what you're saying, right, So she's she's got
enough pedigree in this game to where she thinks she
can call the shots. But you're always just a pig.
Speaker 1: You're just a D list celebrity that no one respect.
Some pa is like, ah, let me go ask my
boss if I could do this for you? Oh you
want a bottle water? Like there's no respect in the
TV right yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's how it should remain.
Speaker 1: Well, they raised a bunch of money. If I'm Anthony
the Exonery, I would ask production, do you mind not
putting that as my chiron?
Speaker 2: What was the chiron Anthony the Exonery?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, the hell of a wrestling.
Speaker 1: We had a guest had a that's a great restleite.
We had a guest on I think in our early
years of the podcast. I forget what his name is now,
but he was accused of having sex with another drunk
cast member.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, what was his name?
Speaker 1: I forget. I hate to be a dick because I
hung out with him for a minute after that. But
the title of our podcast was the guy who definitely
didn't rape a girl And I didn't and I.
Speaker 2: Don't think I had anything.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, he reached out. Yeah, I had said,
do you mind not calling the podcast that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we really weren't sure what we were doing back then.
Come on our show.
Speaker 1: If you remember, it was Corinne and whatever his name.
Speaker 2: Was, Yeah, yeah, yeah, God, that's so crazy. Yeah, I
mean in the early days. I mean, and I guess
we haven't changed much or gotten much better. But I
remember when we we did an episode with Sulk and
we just talked about nine to eleven for like twenty
five minutes, and we're like, we gotta cut that out
of the podcast. All right, that's it for us. Job
in the comments, let us know what you thought about
the episode.
Speaker 1: Let us know if you, does Ruby need to be here?
Speaker 2: Have you seen the jacob ELORDI trailer? Does Ruby need
to be here? You gotta be kidding me? Have you
seen it? Have you seen the Jacob elordi trailer? Okay,
what else are you? How many buzzballs down?
Speaker 1: Are you too?
Speaker 2: No, I'm talking about the fans.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah? Are you enjoying your buzzby?
Speaker 2: See you later, Say by, Pat, say goodbye later, Kaylin. Hiks,