Speaker 1: Chapter twenty of Amusement Only. This is a LibriVox recording.
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Speaker 1: by Kevin Alex. Amusement Only by Richard marsh William I'd
Speaker 1: been seated in the next chair to hers for at
Speaker 1: least two minutes. I felt that it was time to
Speaker 1: introduce myself. It's a fine evening. She turned, She looked
Speaker 1: me up and down, then she looked straight in front
Speaker 1: of her again. I don't know you, but I was
Speaker 1: not to be crushed. There was something about the shape
Speaker 1: of her that which suggested sociability. That is my misfortune
Speaker 1: rather than my fault. I don't know nothing at all
Speaker 1: about that. I do not speak to strangers as a rule.
Speaker 1: Sometimes there's never no knowing who they are. I felt
Speaker 1: that I was getting on, so I went on, what
Speaker 1: do you think of the band? It's not loud enough
Speaker 1: for me. I like a band as I can hear.
Speaker 1: One suspected there might be occasions on which one could
Speaker 1: almost like a band which one could not hear, but
Speaker 1: I did not say. So that broke the ice, and
Speaker 1: the conversation, drifting on to personal topics. She explained to
Speaker 1: me that she had had a young man who, so
Speaker 1: to speak, was resting, owing to what she called a
Speaker 1: difference which she had had with him. It struck me
Speaker 1: that the tale, as she told it, contained elements of tragedy. Baker's,
Speaker 1: she observed, is what I like. I have a sister
Speaker 1: who likes butchers. To me, there's always the smell of
Speaker 1: the meat about a butcher. But it's as you're maid.
Speaker 1: The worst of bakers is they're such a thirsty lot. Possibly,
Speaker 1: I suggested that is in a meg you're owing to
Speaker 1: the nature of their occupation. That may be, but still
Speaker 1: there is a limit. And when a man is always drinking,
Speaker 1: I think it's time for him to stop. I thought
Speaker 1: so too, But she went on. My young man, his
Speaker 1: name is Willium Evans, is a baker, and him and
Speaker 1: me have been walking out together four years. Come next month,
Speaker 1: so I said to him, Willyum, it's my day out Tuesday.
Speaker 1: I shall expect you to take me somewhere, so he said,
Speaker 1: I will, So I said, Hyde Park Corner. Half past ten.
Speaker 1: I was there as the clock was striking, and a
Speaker 1: fine scuffle I had to get there too, And if
Speaker 1: you'll believe me, he kept me waiting two hours and
Speaker 1: three quarters by the clock. What's over the gate keeper's lodge,
Speaker 1: which is longer than any gentleman ought to keep a
Speaker 1: lady waiting. I don't care who he is. So when
Speaker 1: he did come, I was a bit huffy, so I said, well, willyum,
Speaker 1: I'll hope I've put you to no hurry. And it's
Speaker 1: a pity you should have troubled yourself to come at
Speaker 1: this time of day, seeing as how I'm just off home,
Speaker 1: so he said, and he wiped his lips, and I
Speaker 1: could see he had had a moistener, if not more.
Speaker 1: It's like this. I accidentally had an appointment which was
Speaker 1: the nature of business in which I couldn't help. And
Speaker 1: that's how it is. I'm a little behind, I see,
Speaker 1: I said. And it had something to do with pint pots,
Speaker 1: I have no doubt. So he sat down on his seat,
Speaker 1: which was wet owing to there being a drizzle on,
Speaker 1: and as it seemed silly for me to stand whilst
Speaker 1: he was sitting, I sat down likewise. So there we sat,
Speaker 1: neither of us saying nothing, till I began to feel
Speaker 1: a little damp because I had my thin things on
Speaker 1: and it was beginning to come down heavy. So I said, well, Willium,
Speaker 1: have you forgotten it's my day out. I thought you
Speaker 1: was going to take me somewhere, he said, so I am,
Speaker 1: So I said, where are you going to take me to?
Speaker 1: It's getting on and I'm likewise getting wet, which I was.
Speaker 1: So he said, what do you say to Battersea Park?
Speaker 1: So I said, I say nothing. And the idea, William,
Speaker 1: of your talking about taking me to Battersea Park when
Speaker 1: as you very well know, it is raining cats and dogs,
Speaker 1: is not what I expected, because as he could very
Speaker 1: well see, I only had a parasol which was red,
Speaker 1: and the rain was coming through and the color coming out.
Speaker 1: But he didn't care for the rain, no more than nothing,
Speaker 1: because as I tell you, he being a baker. To
Speaker 1: him it was a kind of change. You must know
Speaker 1: that William is that near about money that I never
Speaker 1: saw nothing like him. Not that it's a bad thing
Speaker 1: in a man, though it may be carried too far,
Speaker 1: and I must say, I you think William do carry
Speaker 1: it too far. He has never given me nothing which
Speaker 1: he didn't want me to pay for, not even half
Speaker 1: a pint of beer. So I was not surprised when
Speaker 1: he said, the fact is, Matilda, which is me, I
Speaker 1: haven't got no money. Well, I said, that's a nice
Speaker 1: thing to promise to take me out and then to
Speaker 1: have no money. So he said, if you was to
Speaker 1: pay the expenses for both the two of us, it
Speaker 1: might make things more pleasant. So I said no, I
Speaker 1: thank you because I had been had that way before,
Speaker 1: and more than once. So I got up and I said, well, William,
Speaker 1: I will now wish you a good day, because I
Speaker 1: have been here since half past ten. It has now
Speaker 1: passed two, and my clothes is sticking to me, and
Speaker 1: I don't care to stop no longer. So he said, now, Matilda,
Speaker 1: don't you get disagreeable, which I was beginning to feel it,
Speaker 1: and so I own. We are both of us having
Speaker 1: a day out, he said, and don't let no bad
Speaker 1: tempers spoil our pleasure. I may have some money somewhere
Speaker 1: unbeknown to myself, so I will look and see, though
Speaker 1: I must say I do think it hard that all
Speaker 1: the expenses should be borne by me. So he begins
Speaker 1: feeling in his pockets, and presently he gives a kind
Speaker 1: of a start and he brings out half a crown there,
Speaker 1: he said, is half a crown, and if you put
Speaker 1: five shillings to it, he'll make it seven and six. No,
Speaker 1: I said, I shall put no five shillings of mine
Speaker 1: to no half crown of yours. And so the least
Speaker 1: said the soonest mended, And if you don't mind, I
Speaker 1: will go and get myself something to eat, being hungry,
Speaker 1: and having I am thankful to say, money of my
Speaker 1: own with which to pay for it. Then he gives
Speaker 1: another kind of start, and he says, there if I
Speaker 1: didn't make a pasty for you last night with my
Speaker 1: own hands, and I've been sitting on it all the time,
Speaker 1: which he had, and anything like the mess he'd made
Speaker 1: of it, you know, I ever saw he held it
Speaker 1: out to me. No, I said, I thank you. I'm
Speaker 1: particular about my victuals, and I never eat no scraps,
Speaker 1: and still less things would have been sat down upon. Well,
Speaker 1: he said, it's a pity it should be wasted. I'll
Speaker 1: eat it myself, which he did, And me standing in
Speaker 1: the rain there looking on that did put my back up.
Speaker 1: Mister Evans, I said, short and sharp, I wish you
Speaker 1: a good day. I am going. So I goes, and
Speaker 1: he comes running after me, picking at the bits of
Speaker 1: pasty what was stuck to the paper. I must say
Speaker 1: this for William, that it takes a deal to get
Speaker 1: his temper up. So I pulls up. Now let us
Speaker 1: understand each other. William, if you please, are you going
Speaker 1: to pay for something for me to eat? Or are
Speaker 1: you not? He gives himself a kind of a shake
Speaker 1: so as to get his courage up, and he says,
Speaker 1: you shall have anything you'd like to eat at my expense, Matilda,
Speaker 1: so long as the cost does not exceed Then he
Speaker 1: hesitated ninepence. Then he gave himself another kind of shake,
Speaker 1: which I took as a sign that his courage was
Speaker 1: running down for both the two of us. That made
Speaker 1: me fairly wild. It really did, to think that he
Speaker 1: had promised to take me somewhere, and that I had
Speaker 1: been more than three hours there in the rain and
Speaker 1: got wet through and my things all spoiled. Which it
Speaker 1: was a new dress I had on, what I had
Speaker 1: got special for the occasion, and had only come home
Speaker 1: from the dressmakers the day before, and the color was
Speaker 1: coming out of my parasol, which was likewise new and
Speaker 1: my hair all coming out of curl, and me feeling
Speaker 1: as limp as a rag and starving hungry, and that
Speaker 1: he should want to put me off with fourpence halfpenny
Speaker 1: worth of food drawn from him as if it were
Speaker 1: his eye tooth. It did make me feel really wild.
Speaker 1: I never said a word to him, but I walks
Speaker 1: right out of the park. He comes running after me,
Speaker 1: and he catches hold of my arm and he says, now, Matilda,
Speaker 1: what did I say just now about letting no bad
Speaker 1: temper spoil our pleasure? I said, I don't know what
Speaker 1: your idea of pleasure is, but it isn't mine. And
Speaker 1: as I don't want to have no more to do
Speaker 1: with you, mister Evan, perhaps you will be so kind
Speaker 1: as to let me go. But he holds on to
Speaker 1: me all the tighter, and he says, I tell you what, Matilda,
Speaker 1: an idea has just come into my head. My brother,
Speaker 1: as you have heard me talk about, lives close by here.
Speaker 1: We will go and dine with him. He being a
Speaker 1: married man and with a comfortable home, he will be
Speaker 1: glad to see us. Well. I didn't know what to do,
Speaker 1: not liking to have no quarrel with him in the street,
Speaker 1: So off we starts for his brothers. He took me
Speaker 1: to a muse which led out of Park Lane, and
Speaker 1: as we was turning the corner, he said, there's only
Speaker 1: this one thing about my brother. Him and me has
Speaker 1: had a little difference of opinion, and he is not
Speaker 1: of a forgiving disposition. So I said, now, William, what
Speaker 1: do you mean by that? So he said, number thirty
Speaker 1: two on the other side is where he lives. And
Speaker 1: if you was to go on and lock at the
Speaker 1: door and ask for missus Henry Evans, what is my
Speaker 1: brother's wife? So to speak, it might smooth the way.
Speaker 1: So I said, I do not understand you. Just now
Speaker 1: you was saying as how your brother would be glad
Speaker 1: to see us. Are you now insinuating otherwise? He catches
Speaker 1: a glimpse of my eye and he sees the kind
Speaker 1: of mood I was in, and he plucks up and
Speaker 1: he walks on, and he says, we will hope for
Speaker 1: the best. Do not let us spoil our day's pleasure
Speaker 1: by no disagreeable observations. There is never no knowing what
Speaker 1: might happen. All of a sudden he cries out, there's
Speaker 1: my brother now, Matilda don't you let him start hitting me,
Speaker 1: And he jumps behind me so as to get into
Speaker 1: the shadow, as it were, So I says, William, whatever
Speaker 1: is the matter now? Your conduct do seem to me
Speaker 1: to be of the most extraordinary character. And it was
Speaker 1: a great, big giant of a man on the other
Speaker 1: side of the road, washing a carriage with a bucket
Speaker 1: of water, and I don't know what. And as I
Speaker 1: moves on one side, he catches sight of William, and
Speaker 1: anything like the way in which he started swearing, you
Speaker 1: never heard hello. He says, there's that putty faced brother
Speaker 1: of mine. I've been looking for you for some time.
Speaker 1: Here's something for you, William. And before I had no
Speaker 1: idea what he was going to do. He catches up
Speaker 1: the bucket of water and he throws it over William,
Speaker 1: and some of it went over me. Oh, dear me.
Speaker 1: He never saw nothing like the mess that I was in.
Speaker 1: And he grabs hold of William by the collar and
Speaker 1: he says, hang me if I don't wipe down the
Speaker 1: street with you, and he shouts out, Henrietta, here's brother William.
Speaker 1: Haven't you got anything for him? You bet your life.
Speaker 1: He's come for something, and a window opens over the way,
Speaker 1: and a woman puts her head out, and she empties
Speaker 1: something out of a pail over William, and again some
Speaker 1: of it went over me. Oh dear, oh dear, And
Speaker 1: that giant of a man he set about willyum something cruel,
Speaker 1: and all the muse was in an uproar, and I
Speaker 1: hurried away as hard as I ever could. I was
Speaker 1: that frightened, and I got into a cab just as
Speaker 1: I was, And you should have seen how the cabman
Speaker 1: stared and drove right away to a sister of mine
Speaker 1: what lives at Camberwell, and nearly cried my eyes out.
Speaker 1: And I've never spoken to William nor set eyes on
Speaker 1: him since then, which is a fortnight the day after tomorrow.
Speaker 1: And if you had been in my place and had
Speaker 1: been treated as I was, would you have let things
Speaker 1: go on as usual, just as if there hadn't been
Speaker 1: no difference? No, I said I should not. I should
Speaker 1: have insisted on their going on in quite a different
Speaker 1: kind of way. And so I told her end of
Speaker 1: William