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<v Speaker 1>Episode with two stories.

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<v Speaker 2>First part, I hope you enjoy this story. Siblings partner

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<v Speaker 2>excluded me from their marriage celebration because I declined to

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<v Speaker 2>partake in a religious ritual. When our eldest sibling supported me,

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<v Speaker 2>the sibling turned against him. I a thirty one year

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<v Speaker 2>old female, have three siblings, a forty year old male,

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<v Speaker 2>a thirty eight year old female, and a twenty seven

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<v Speaker 2>year old male, and we have a good relationship despite

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<v Speaker 2>the age gaps between some of us. My older siblings

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<v Speaker 2>are both married, and so am I. The wedding in

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<v Speaker 2>question is my younger brothers. My younger brother, Luke is

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<v Speaker 2>engaged to his gf of a year, Emma, twenty eight f.

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<v Speaker 2>She is nice. I guess we have never really clicked

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<v Speaker 2>and are just polite to each other. Something important is

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<v Speaker 2>that we are all Catholic, but not really hardcore ones,

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<v Speaker 2>and some of us are even lapsed. I do believe

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<v Speaker 2>this whole situation started just when I met her for

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<v Speaker 2>the first time. I look younger than Luke, and it

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<v Speaker 2>has always been a sibling joke that I am truly

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<v Speaker 2>the baby of the family. Most people that meet us

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<v Speaker 2>assume he is older than me, but nobody has had

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<v Speaker 2>issues with it until Emma. The day I met her,

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<v Speaker 2>she kind of scoffed when I said I was happy

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<v Speaker 2>the baby had a proper girlfriend. She has this weird

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<v Speaker 2>thing about being the eldest in her family and refused

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<v Speaker 2>to believe I was older than her until I showed

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<v Speaker 2>her my ID. She has been hot and cold with

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<v Speaker 2>me since then, often in fanalizing me or trying to

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<v Speaker 2>have a sort of boss attitude. I just let her

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<v Speaker 2>be and usually ignore her since I have no time

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<v Speaker 2>to try and beg for her friendship, so I am

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<v Speaker 2>just polite and civil, always include her when planning stuff,

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<v Speaker 2>but don't really make an effort. The family knows about it,

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<v Speaker 2>but we just shrugged it to different personalities. Then the

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<v Speaker 2>wedding planning started. Emma decided I could not be in

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<v Speaker 2>the wedding party since I was not married in a church.

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<v Speaker 2>Fine by me. Then she requested that immediate family submits

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<v Speaker 2>their dress planning so she could check it fits the

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<v Speaker 2>wedding dress code. Fine. Whatever you see where this is going,

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<v Speaker 2>I hope you'll see I have not gone to confession

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<v Speaker 2>or have communion in more than a decade. If I

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<v Speaker 2>go to a Mass for whatever reason, I am respectful

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<v Speaker 2>and simply sit or stay standing during the rites I

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<v Speaker 2>don't participate on. Well, this is not good enough for her,

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<v Speaker 2>and she says I need to take communion during there.

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<v Speaker 2>I said no, and she has not taken it well

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<v Speaker 2>for the most part. One avoid her as I said before,

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<v Speaker 2>but this time I wasn't going to say yes or

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<v Speaker 2>risk an issue. I told her, for taking communion, one

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<v Speaker 2>needs to go to confession and I didn't want to.

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<v Speaker 2>She said, all immediate family is doing it and it

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<v Speaker 2>will look bad if I don't. I told her, sure, fine,

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<v Speaker 2>then I'll just go f communion in front of everybody,

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<v Speaker 2>but won't do confession. She said, if this was going

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<v Speaker 2>to be my attitude, I was uninvited from the wedding

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<v Speaker 2>because I clearly wanted to ruin the day for her.

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<v Speaker 2>I turned to my brother and told him thanks, gave

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<v Speaker 2>him a thumbs up, and went home. My family understand

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<v Speaker 2>my reasoning and said they respect everybody's choices, but I

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<v Speaker 2>shouldn't have said what I said. I told them I

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<v Speaker 2>really don't want to go to the wedding any more,

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<v Speaker 2>and I don't owe Emma explanations on my life. I

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<v Speaker 2>only called my grandma because she heard what happened and

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<v Speaker 2>asked me not to disrespect the church by doing the

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<v Speaker 2>communion without confession. I promised I wouldn't do it, and

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<v Speaker 2>she is fine with me. Now. I got a text

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<v Speaker 2>from my brother wanting to compromise, so I replied by

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<v Speaker 2>asking if the other lapsed people are being made to

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<v Speaker 2>take confession too. He said no, because it was only

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<v Speaker 2>nuclear family members. I find it funny since all the

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<v Speaker 2>others are clearly older than her, and she just behaves

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<v Speaker 2>like this with me and the youngsters. Ada comments Whereop

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<v Speaker 2>has replied Lucky Effective fifteen sixty four NTA who died

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<v Speaker 2>and made em a pope, Goop l O L. I

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<v Speaker 2>will share this particular one with my grandma next time

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<v Speaker 2>we talk. She is gonna love it. Beautiful Report fifty eight.

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<v Speaker 2>You should alert the priest to her behavior. He will

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<v Speaker 2>insure that she stops with her actions. She cannot make

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<v Speaker 2>rules that do not exist in the church. I would

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<v Speaker 2>send a quick e mail to him and let her

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<v Speaker 2>deal with the consequence of her own actions. Oh O P.

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<v Speaker 2>I actually considered it, but I don't think I will

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<v Speaker 2>since my grandma might be doing it herself. She has

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<v Speaker 2>lapsed herself, but didn't want me to be disrespectful. But

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<v Speaker 2>she knows the priest that will be officiating and is

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<v Speaker 2>not really happy with all the shit show. Update one

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<v Speaker 2>October twenty sixth, twenty twenty four. Things have moved, but

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<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't call any of this a positive progress. I

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<v Speaker 2>would like to clear something I kept seeing in the comments.

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<v Speaker 2>I won't request a special blessing or go in the

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<v Speaker 2>queue for communion. It isn't about the blessing or the compromise,

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<v Speaker 2>but the singling me out. I often just stay quiet

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<v Speaker 2>or take a general family blessing if we go to weddings,

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<v Speaker 2>et cetera. I have no issue with compromises. I have

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<v Speaker 2>an issue with Emma and her ridiculousness. I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>why she has this thing with me. I do look young,

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<v Speaker 2>but not like a teen or a child. Obviously, she

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<v Speaker 2>has two younger sisters and is very authoritative with them.

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<v Speaker 2>I have witnesses her being very my way or the

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<v Speaker 2>highway with younger people, so she has issues for sure.

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<v Speaker 2>The confrontation from the last post was on Tuesday, and

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<v Speaker 2>today we had lunch at my grandma's. I think you

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<v Speaker 2>should also know that my brothers have a tricky relationship,

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<v Speaker 2>as in they are not as close with each other

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<v Speaker 2>as they are with other siblings. My older brother Robert

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<v Speaker 2>is very no nonsense and he has never been a

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<v Speaker 2>fan of Emma, but he didn't think he should have

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<v Speaker 2>to intervene because Luke is an adult and capable of

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<v Speaker 2>navigating relationships. All this is going to be relevant. I

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<v Speaker 2>promise we visit Grandma a lot, since she lives by

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<v Speaker 2>herself and we truly enjoy her company. Today, we were

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<v Speaker 2>all there because she is over this drama already. After

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<v Speaker 2>a lunch that was more like snacking to be honest,

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<v Speaker 2>she asked us all to clear the air. Emma continued

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<v Speaker 2>with her rant about me being a disrespectful person and

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<v Speaker 2>that she was asking the bare minimum for me. My

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<v Speaker 2>grandma asked her why she had no issue with her

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<v Speaker 2>not taking communion, and Emma said that she was her

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<v Speaker 2>elder and for sure her reasons were more than a

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<v Speaker 2>tantrum like it was in my case. She also repeated

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<v Speaker 2>that she was asking this of all the siblings and

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<v Speaker 2>I was the only one that was being difficult with

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<v Speaker 2>her tiny request. This is where everything crumbled for her.

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<v Speaker 2>I mentioned in the comments that Robert is also lapsed

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<v Speaker 2>and he was already exhausted by this situation. He asked

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<v Speaker 2>her why she had no issues with him not taking communion,

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<v Speaker 2>and she looked like a kid that was caught. She

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<v Speaker 2>didn't have a proper answer. Robert then asked her if

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<v Speaker 2>she even knew why he and Grandma became lapsed. She

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<v Speaker 2>shook her head and looked at Luke for help. Luke,

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<v Speaker 2>on the other hand, was staring angrily at Robert and

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<v Speaker 2>I but said nothing. Robert explained to Emma he was

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<v Speaker 2>the reason Grandma became lapsed. When Robert was a teen,

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<v Speaker 2>he came out as gay and was so worried about

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<v Speaker 2>our grandparents reactions since they were very active in the

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<v Speaker 2>Catholic Church. Grandma felt awful about it, and even worse

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<v Speaker 2>when she went and spoke about this with the then

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<v Speaker 2>priest of her church. That priest was super old school

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<v Speaker 2>and told her that Robert was committing sins, he was

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<v Speaker 2>going to Hell. He needed to find his way the

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<v Speaker 2>whole nine yards. Grandma didn't take that so well and

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<v Speaker 2>simply stop going to church and started spending that time

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<v Speaker 2>with her grandchildren. Over the years, she started getting into

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<v Speaker 2>the whole community again, but she decided she was done

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<v Speaker 2>taking the sacraments. She respects parts of the church, but

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<v Speaker 2>can't fully reconcile with it. Emma was a bit confused

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<v Speaker 2>since Robert is married to a woman, and he explained

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<v Speaker 2>he is bisexual and ended up with a woman just

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<v Speaker 2>as he could have ended with a man. He also

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<v Speaker 2>commented they are not married in the church, but that

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<v Speaker 2>didn't matter to her, like it mattered when it came

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<v Speaker 2>to me. He asked her directly, what was her problem

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<v Speaker 2>with me? Long story short, She said, I was rude

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<v Speaker 2>since the beginning and kept treating Luke wrong. Oh and

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<v Speaker 2>I also was very snarky about looking younger than her. Crickets.

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<v Speaker 2>She is a beautiful, successful woman, so I still don't

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<v Speaker 2>understand her obsession, but it seems like she wants people

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<v Speaker 2>to see I respect her and what she says. I

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<v Speaker 2>just started laughing. She started crying and saying, I turned

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<v Speaker 2>my grandma against her. My grandma told her to stop

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<v Speaker 2>blaming people for her being a negative person, and she

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<v Speaker 2>was always going to side with me over her. Luke

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<v Speaker 2>got upset at that and asked her why she was

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<v Speaker 2>not supporting him, and she simply said she doesn't support

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<v Speaker 2>him being a lap dog for a crazy woman. Moore

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<v Speaker 2>was said, nothing got truly resolved. I was kind of

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<v Speaker 2>invited again, but declined going. Grandma is undecided if she

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<v Speaker 2>even wants to go at all. My older siblings told

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<v Speaker 2>Luke they will go to the ceremony if he seeks

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<v Speaker 2>couple's therapy or at least therapy. My parents are having

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<v Speaker 2>headaches and now dislike Emma so much they can't hide it.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh and yes, Grandma spoke with the priest and he

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<v Speaker 2>wants them to do extra primarital counseling or he won't officiate.

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<v Speaker 2>I hope they don't get married, but he is old

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<v Speaker 2>enough to derail his life if he wants. I thank

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<v Speaker 2>you for letting me vent and my grandma love the

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<v Speaker 2>pope joke where o p has replied k Irony l

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<v Speaker 2>O L Well, I hope for your brother's sake that

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<v Speaker 2>the extra primarital counseling results in him rethinking his plan

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<v Speaker 2>to marry mis entitled and controlling. Good luck to you,

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<v Speaker 2>tripadwire forty eight. What's ironic is that the Catholic Church

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<v Speaker 2>has a mandatory course or consultation called precana the couples

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<v Speaker 2>must complete before marrying. In the Catholic Church. The course

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<v Speaker 2>helps couples prepare for the sacrament of marriage by reflecting

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<v Speaker 2>on the spiritual, emotional, and practical aspects of marriage. The

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<v Speaker 2>priest or deacon also weighs in on the compatibility of

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<v Speaker 2>the couple. At least those I know who went through

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<v Speaker 2>it had that happen. I think it varies by dioceses,

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<v Speaker 2>but I know my cousins was six months long. Update

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<v Speaker 2>October second, twenty eighth, twenty twenty four. My brother has

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<v Speaker 2>gone too far and I decided to be done with him.

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<v Speaker 2>He made our grandma cry, and I think permanently damaged

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of his relationships. I want to mention some

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<v Speaker 2>of my cousins and other family members thought I was

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<v Speaker 2>just stubborn in creating drama, but now there is no

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<v Speaker 2>longer my side or Emma's side. Maybe he always felt

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<v Speaker 2>this way, but the issue he has with Robert is

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<v Speaker 2>absolutely ridiculous. He was so upset with what Grandma said

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<v Speaker 2>about him being Emma's lap dog that he called her

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<v Speaker 2>dea speak about it. I was obviously not present for

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<v Speaker 2>the conversation, but Grandma told me what happened, and Luke

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<v Speaker 2>confirmed it. He told her that it was unfair of

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<v Speaker 2>me to ask Robert for help, since he was her

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<v Speaker 2>favorite grandchild and would get her to side with me

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<v Speaker 2>no matter how wrong I was. He also told her

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<v Speaker 2>that many of the cousins believed this and that it

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<v Speaker 2>was so obvious since she even left her religion for him.

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<v Speaker 2>He claimed. The other lgbt Q plus members of the family,

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<v Speaker 2>most were not even born when Robert came out by

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<v Speaker 2>the way, doubted if she would do it for them.

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<v Speaker 2>So Grandma explained to Luke and then call every single

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<v Speaker 2>one of her grandchildren to ask them how they felt,

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<v Speaker 2>and explained to each a part we didn't know. She

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<v Speaker 2>said that when Robert came out and she spoke with

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<v Speaker 2>the old priest, he hinted about knowing of places to

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<v Speaker 2>set Robert straight. Grandma had heard horror stories from this places,

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<v Speaker 2>and so had Robert, and they both spoke with my

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<v Speaker 2>parents together about that not being an option at all.

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<v Speaker 2>My parents never intended to send Robert there and are

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<v Speaker 2>very casual Catholics, but Grandma wanted to cover the basis

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<v Speaker 2>just in case. I was told. Grandma sounded like she

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<v Speaker 2>had been crying on the phone, and after the first

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<v Speaker 2>couple of calls, which went from oldest to youngest. The

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<v Speaker 2>group chat started to blow. Robert is livid. Our lgbt

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<v Speaker 2>Q plus cousins are livid and say Luke lied. Even

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<v Speaker 2>the cousins that were telling me to stop being a

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<v Speaker 2>stubborn head are livid. By the time I was up

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<v Speaker 2>for my call, I was already on the way to Grandma's.

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<v Speaker 2>Two of my cousins were already there, and the youngest one,

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<v Speaker 2>Sarah sixteen f was ready to literally fight Luke for

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<v Speaker 2>a bit of levity. Sarah is about thirty five centimeters

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<v Speaker 2>smaller than Luke. In the image of her swinging at

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<v Speaker 2>him made me laugh a bit. She asked if I

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<v Speaker 2>was making fun of her, and I just explained the

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<v Speaker 2>whole mental image of her trying to hit him, and

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<v Speaker 2>she admitted it was kind of funny. What I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>tell her is I would love to slap some sense

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<v Speaker 2>into Luke. My grandma has been through so much in

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<v Speaker 2>her life and this is not what we want for her.

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<v Speaker 2>She looks puffy faced and kept asking everybody if they

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<v Speaker 2>truly felt unloved by her, saying she would do everything

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<v Speaker 2>for any of us, explaining how Robert was the oldest

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00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:04.759
<v Speaker 2>grandchild but that didn't mean she loved the rest any less.

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<v Speaker 2>She is a strong woman, but I think something inside

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00:12:08.399 --> 00:12:10.840
<v Speaker 2>her broke a little with the thoughts she heard her grandchildren.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a shit show, a big one, and I

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00:12:13.960 --> 00:12:17.120
<v Speaker 2>was just so done with Luke. My parents have been

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<v Speaker 2>passive towards the situation so far because I asked them too,

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00:12:20.759 --> 00:12:22.759
<v Speaker 2>but after they heard what happened, they told them they

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00:12:22.759 --> 00:12:26.279
<v Speaker 2>need time away from him. Robert is simply disgusted and

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<v Speaker 2>decided to not speak with him any more, which he

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<v Speaker 2>communicated through the cousin group chat, with Luke's response being

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<v Speaker 2>that this is why Emma's help on reigning all us

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<v Speaker 2>would be so beneficial if we just let her. He

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00:12:36.679 --> 00:12:39.799
<v Speaker 2>also added how Robert never cared for him or anybody really,

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00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:41.639
<v Speaker 2>and he just tried to be the center of attention

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<v Speaker 2>all the time. He cited his coming out, his announcement

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00:12:45.519 --> 00:12:47.399
<v Speaker 2>he was going to marry a woman the birth of

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00:12:47.440 --> 00:12:51.240
<v Speaker 2>his child. It was ridiculous. He came out when Luke

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00:12:51.320 --> 00:12:53.559
<v Speaker 2>was a toddler, and for many years only our parents

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00:12:53.600 --> 00:12:56.879
<v Speaker 2>and grandparents knew. He announced he was going to marry

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00:12:56.879 --> 00:12:59.399
<v Speaker 2>his now wife through a text, but didn't interfere or

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00:12:59.399 --> 00:13:03.159
<v Speaker 2>took from any His child was born four months before

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00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:05.879
<v Speaker 2>Luke's graduation, and apparently that was a big issue for

265
00:13:05.960 --> 00:13:09.159
<v Speaker 2>Luke that he never commented. Maybe I am biased, maybe

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<v Speaker 2>I am selfish like Emma claims, but I call bullshit

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00:13:12.120 --> 00:13:15.320
<v Speaker 2>on his tantrum. Every single one of the cousins has

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00:13:15.360 --> 00:13:18.840
<v Speaker 2>been helped, baby sat, tutored, gotten out of trouble, you

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00:13:18.919 --> 00:13:22.120
<v Speaker 2>name it by Robert. He isn't perfect, but he isn't

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<v Speaker 2>the conniving ass Luke is claiming. Maybe Luke has always

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00:13:25.759 --> 00:13:29.240
<v Speaker 2>felt inadequate and we didn't notice. Maybe it was his

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00:13:29.320 --> 00:13:32.600
<v Speaker 2>last ditch effort. Maybe Emma has manipulated him so far

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<v Speaker 2>that he can't come back. It doesn't matter any more.

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<v Speaker 2>If he does marry Emma, I wish him the best.

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<v Speaker 2>If he doesn't, I hope he goes to therapy. Regardless

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<v Speaker 2>of what he decides, he burns so many bridges and

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00:13:45.159 --> 00:13:47.919
<v Speaker 2>hurts so many people. I don't see this resolving any

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00:13:47.960 --> 00:13:51.480
<v Speaker 2>time soon. For now, I will focus on my grandma

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00:13:51.559 --> 00:13:55.320
<v Speaker 2>and making her feel better. I feel extremely guilty because

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<v Speaker 2>it was Emma's situation with me that opened this can

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00:13:57.720 --> 00:14:01.720
<v Speaker 2>of worms. I know I shouldn't, but it's hard. Lizard

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<v Speaker 2>Girl twenty five. While it sounds like it is self

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00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:07.960
<v Speaker 2>projection from Luke. He is the conniving asshole he is saying.

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00:14:08.039 --> 00:14:13.200
<v Speaker 2>Robert is edit internet stranger here also sends hugs to

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00:14:13.240 --> 00:14:17.840
<v Speaker 2>your grandma and your family in general. Goop. Robert is

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00:14:17.879 --> 00:14:20.080
<v Speaker 2>the type of older cousin Sarah would call if she

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00:14:20.159 --> 00:14:22.240
<v Speaker 2>is drunk at a party and needs a safe ride.

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00:14:23.159 --> 00:14:25.000
<v Speaker 2>He also did it for Luke, which is why I

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00:14:25.039 --> 00:14:30.159
<v Speaker 2>don't get his deal Ghost thirty twenty two. Irrational behavior

290
00:14:30.200 --> 00:14:33.799
<v Speaker 2>is called that because it can't be rationalized. Luke is

291
00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:37.240
<v Speaker 2>exhibiting very irrational behavior, which is why you'll never understand it.

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00:14:38.159 --> 00:14:40.000
<v Speaker 2>The best you can hope for is that he gets

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00:14:40.000 --> 00:14:42.240
<v Speaker 2>some serious therapy and pulls his head out of his

294
00:14:42.320 --> 00:14:43.519
<v Speaker 2>ass sooner rather than later.

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00:14:44.440 --> 00:14:44.720
<v Speaker 1>Oop.

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00:14:44.919 --> 00:14:47.840
<v Speaker 2>If he asked for help and apologized sincerely, I would

297
00:14:47.879 --> 00:14:50.720
<v Speaker 2>be there in two seconds. He knew what he was

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00:14:50.759 --> 00:14:53.279
<v Speaker 2>doing when he spoke without Grandma. He knew it would

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00:14:53.320 --> 00:14:55.840
<v Speaker 2>cause her pain. He knew he would hurt Robert too.

300
00:14:56.919 --> 00:14:59.360
<v Speaker 2>Robert might not be crying, but he feels bad about

301
00:14:59.360 --> 00:15:02.919
<v Speaker 2>the situation. He has always looked out for everybody, and

302
00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:05.120
<v Speaker 2>even his picks of him holding every single one of

303
00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:07.559
<v Speaker 2>us as babies all over one of his walls. I

304
00:15:07.600 --> 00:15:09.879
<v Speaker 2>always knew there were not the closest of brothers, but

305
00:15:09.960 --> 00:15:13.399
<v Speaker 2>this is too much pride of Cape Town. Was this

306
00:15:13.519 --> 00:15:16.320
<v Speaker 2>really Luke's inner feelings coming out or is this Emma

307
00:15:16.360 --> 00:15:19.639
<v Speaker 2>poisoning him into isolating himself from his family and support system.

308
00:15:20.519 --> 00:15:25.240
<v Speaker 2>Either way, he's a gigantic asshole. You, your grandma, and all

309
00:15:25.279 --> 00:15:29.440
<v Speaker 2>your cousins should boycott this wedding. Oop so far, nobody

310
00:15:29.480 --> 00:15:32.919
<v Speaker 2>is going to his wedding. My parents are undecided about

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00:15:32.919 --> 00:15:35.679
<v Speaker 2>attending the ceremony, but they lean more on not attending.

312
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<v Speaker 2>Up date three November fourth, twenty twenty four. I want

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00:15:40.759 --> 00:15:42.919
<v Speaker 2>to start this by saying that Grandma is in better

314
00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:46.519
<v Speaker 2>spirits now. I am overwhelmed by the amount of people

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00:15:46.559 --> 00:15:49.279
<v Speaker 2>supporting her and very grateful for it, even if it's online.

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<v Speaker 2>I have talked about this on some chats and d ms,

317
00:15:52.759 --> 00:15:55.240
<v Speaker 2>but please know the situation with Emma is not about

318
00:15:55.279 --> 00:15:58.320
<v Speaker 2>her being parenified or her family being strict Catholics. It's

319
00:15:58.440 --> 00:16:01.200
<v Speaker 2>just her being her. They were already going to get

320
00:16:01.240 --> 00:16:03.480
<v Speaker 2>premarital counseling and extra was added.

321
00:16:04.440 --> 00:16:04.799
<v Speaker 1>Oh.

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00:16:04.919 --> 00:16:07.639
<v Speaker 2>All cousins also don't live in the same city or town.

323
00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:10.000
<v Speaker 2>Some are a bit longer than others. But we keep

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00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:13.080
<v Speaker 2>in touch through the chat. The reason for the update

325
00:16:13.159 --> 00:16:15.759
<v Speaker 2>is mainly to let people know Grandma is okay, her

326
00:16:15.799 --> 00:16:18.000
<v Speaker 2>health is fine, and she had a blast with my

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00:16:18.039 --> 00:16:21.320
<v Speaker 2>cousin Sarah. I also want to update on what has

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00:16:21.320 --> 00:16:23.840
<v Speaker 2>happened with the cousins and the maternal side of our family.

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00:16:24.840 --> 00:16:28.440
<v Speaker 2>Some of our paternal cousins from Grandma's side have relented

330
00:16:28.440 --> 00:16:30.759
<v Speaker 2>and feel a bit bad on excluding Luke from things,

331
00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:32.879
<v Speaker 2>so the compromise was met on he can be invited

332
00:16:32.919 --> 00:16:37.000
<v Speaker 2>to everything, just don't force people to interact. These cousins

333
00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:39.440
<v Speaker 2>are mainly on the older side and have soft spots

334
00:16:39.480 --> 00:16:43.440
<v Speaker 2>for the youngsters. My youngest cousin, Sarah, said she was

335
00:16:43.519 --> 00:16:45.360
<v Speaker 2>okay with it all, but she wanted them to keep

336
00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:47.639
<v Speaker 2>him away from her since she can't stand him any more.

337
00:16:48.559 --> 00:16:51.480
<v Speaker 2>Our maternal side was a shit show, because of course

338
00:16:51.519 --> 00:16:54.639
<v Speaker 2>we need one. Some of them were very upset, but

339
00:16:54.720 --> 00:16:56.840
<v Speaker 2>others told me I should try to understand where he

340
00:16:56.879 --> 00:16:59.080
<v Speaker 2>was coming from. My mom was the one that told

341
00:16:59.120 --> 00:17:01.159
<v Speaker 2>them everything in Some told her she is at fault

342
00:17:01.200 --> 00:17:04.319
<v Speaker 2>for making Robert the star of the family. This was

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00:17:04.359 --> 00:17:06.960
<v Speaker 2>so uncalled for but brought some issues in my family,

344
00:17:07.200 --> 00:17:09.759
<v Speaker 2>particularly when one of my maternal cousins asked me if

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00:17:09.759 --> 00:17:11.599
<v Speaker 2>I could behave enough if I am seated at the

346
00:17:11.599 --> 00:17:14.599
<v Speaker 2>same table as Luke for his wedding. It makes us

347
00:17:14.680 --> 00:17:17.440
<v Speaker 2>doubt ourselves, but really, this is a cousin that Robert

348
00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:20.400
<v Speaker 2>has bailed from almost bankruptcy two times, and he's the problem.

349
00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:23.640
<v Speaker 2>I haven't said much about my sister Lucy, since she

350
00:17:23.720 --> 00:17:26.599
<v Speaker 2>voiced nothing different before. She was always very close to

351
00:17:26.680 --> 00:17:29.039
<v Speaker 2>Luke and even had a great relationship with Emma before

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00:17:29.079 --> 00:17:32.279
<v Speaker 2>the debacle. She decided to be out of it because

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00:17:32.279 --> 00:17:35.559
<v Speaker 2>she was so disappointed. While she was never made to

354
00:17:35.599 --> 00:17:38.079
<v Speaker 2>babysit or anything like that, she was always so into

355
00:17:38.119 --> 00:17:40.480
<v Speaker 2>Luke since he was her baby brother. She loved him

356
00:17:40.519 --> 00:17:42.559
<v Speaker 2>the most, and I know that because she literally told

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00:17:42.599 --> 00:17:45.000
<v Speaker 2>me when I was a kid. We have a good

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00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:47.599
<v Speaker 2>relationship now because her kids are my buddies. But it

359
00:17:47.640 --> 00:17:50.759
<v Speaker 2>was rough for a while before that. She was upset

360
00:17:50.799 --> 00:17:53.400
<v Speaker 2>about the whole thing. But when our maternal family, or

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00:17:53.400 --> 00:17:56.200
<v Speaker 2>at least a part started excusing Luke, she lost it.

362
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<v Speaker 2>She is a very calm person, the type you don't

363
00:17:59.559 --> 00:18:01.920
<v Speaker 2>expect of bad word out of, but she lost it,

364
00:18:01.960 --> 00:18:03.519
<v Speaker 2>and I think it was the last straw on the

365
00:18:03.519 --> 00:18:07.079
<v Speaker 2>cold bucket for Luke. She sent a massive message about

366
00:18:07.119 --> 00:18:10.400
<v Speaker 2>what has been happening, detailing every single thing and daring

367
00:18:10.440 --> 00:18:13.680
<v Speaker 2>people to kind of comment her if they disagreed. She

368
00:18:13.799 --> 00:18:17.480
<v Speaker 2>made sure to include every single nasty thing, every bad word,

369
00:18:17.640 --> 00:18:20.839
<v Speaker 2>every I roll. She sent it to so many people

370
00:18:20.839 --> 00:18:23.519
<v Speaker 2>because she was tired of the half information telephone game.

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<v Speaker 2>She is upset at me because my refusals made this happen,

372
00:18:27.319 --> 00:18:29.359
<v Speaker 2>and she said she knows she shouldn't, but she needs

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00:18:29.400 --> 00:18:31.640
<v Speaker 2>time to fix her feelings, so she is not speaking

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<v Speaker 2>with me right now. My parents decided they were out

375
00:18:34.920 --> 00:18:36.839
<v Speaker 2>of the wedding and told Lukey is on his own.

376
00:18:37.799 --> 00:18:40.839
<v Speaker 2>There was never a monetary issue. They were willing to contribute,

377
00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:43.079
<v Speaker 2>but both Luke and Emma are pretty well off and

378
00:18:43.200 --> 00:18:45.440
<v Speaker 2>was no need for that. Now. To what maybe most

379
00:18:45.480 --> 00:18:47.599
<v Speaker 2>people want to know, and the only conflict I am

380
00:18:47.640 --> 00:18:51.799
<v Speaker 2>interested about any more, my grandma is feeling better. Sarah

381
00:18:51.880 --> 00:18:55.200
<v Speaker 2>being with her was very positive. It was lovely to

382
00:18:55.240 --> 00:18:57.880
<v Speaker 2>see the eldest and youngest of our family so in tune,

383
00:18:57.920 --> 00:19:01.200
<v Speaker 2>but then again, they have always been. She requested that

384
00:19:01.279 --> 00:19:04.480
<v Speaker 2>Sarah invited Luke to her birthday party December, and after

385
00:19:04.519 --> 00:19:06.200
<v Speaker 2>a lot of back and forward, he is going to

386
00:19:06.240 --> 00:19:09.039
<v Speaker 2>be invited. We will see if he comes or not.

387
00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:13.079
<v Speaker 2>A small parenthesis, I showed my grandma the joke of

388
00:19:13.119 --> 00:19:17.680
<v Speaker 2>the knife sword, et cetera. She was so giddy, thank you.

389
00:19:18.759 --> 00:19:21.200
<v Speaker 2>I mentioned before that Robert would pick up Sarah if

390
00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:24.400
<v Speaker 2>she needed It is still true. What I might have

391
00:19:24.480 --> 00:19:26.599
<v Speaker 2>not mentioned is that she, of course gets a weird

392
00:19:26.680 --> 00:19:28.920
<v Speaker 2>lecture from him, and an even weirder lecture on how

393
00:19:28.960 --> 00:19:32.200
<v Speaker 2>he rates certain drugs l O L As I said,

394
00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:36.799
<v Speaker 2>he is no saint, but he is not a shit either. Lastly, yes,

395
00:19:36.839 --> 00:19:38.920
<v Speaker 2>he has photos, even with my sister or me in

396
00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:42.200
<v Speaker 2>the newborn wall. People loved to take picks of him

397
00:19:42.200 --> 00:19:44.559
<v Speaker 2>holding the new family members, and he collected them and

398
00:19:44.599 --> 00:19:46.440
<v Speaker 2>put them together when he got his own house.

399
00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:50.079
<v Speaker 1>That's the end of the first story. Let's begin the

400
00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:54.920
<v Speaker 1>second one. I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered my

401
00:19:55.000 --> 00:19:58.319
<v Speaker 1>partner's mother's tracking device on my motorbike after she accused

402
00:19:58.319 --> 00:20:00.960
<v Speaker 1>me of being unfaithful, and then and her family arrived

403
00:20:01.000 --> 00:20:04.000
<v Speaker 1>at my residence in a different nation, escalating the situation

404
00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:08.720
<v Speaker 1>worse from there. I'm twenty seven and my girlfriend is

405
00:20:08.759 --> 00:20:13.200
<v Speaker 1>thirty three. F Although our relationship started out very intense

406
00:20:13.200 --> 00:20:16.640
<v Speaker 1>and unpredictable. We quickly developed strong feelings and have been

407
00:20:16.640 --> 00:20:21.640
<v Speaker 1>together for three years. Despite being together that long, I

408
00:20:21.799 --> 00:20:24.039
<v Speaker 1>just met my girlfriend's parents for the first time a

409
00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:27.400
<v Speaker 1>few weeks ago. She is an only child and said

410
00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:29.680
<v Speaker 1>she didn't want to introduce anyone she dated to her

411
00:20:29.680 --> 00:20:32.079
<v Speaker 1>parents unless she knew this was the person she wanted

412
00:20:32.119 --> 00:20:35.519
<v Speaker 1>to marry. Her parents also live abroad, and due to

413
00:20:35.599 --> 00:20:38.599
<v Speaker 1>COVID and her dad's health problems, they didn't visit her

414
00:20:38.599 --> 00:20:41.960
<v Speaker 1>for a while. She usually went to visit them. It

415
00:20:42.079 --> 00:20:43.759
<v Speaker 1>was a big step for her to tell me she

416
00:20:43.799 --> 00:20:45.599
<v Speaker 1>wanted me to meet them, and I did my best

417
00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:49.240
<v Speaker 1>to make a good impression. I was raised by my grandmother.

418
00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:53.440
<v Speaker 1>When she passed, my older sister took over caring for me.

419
00:20:54.519 --> 00:20:58.240
<v Speaker 1>My girlfriend has had a stable upbringing. Her parents are

420
00:20:58.279 --> 00:21:01.640
<v Speaker 1>wealthy and she's led a privileged life life. We don't

421
00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:04.160
<v Speaker 1>have the same life experiences, and it was never a

422
00:21:04.200 --> 00:21:08.400
<v Speaker 1>problem until I met her parents. If anything, for some reason,

423
00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:13.200
<v Speaker 1>the difference is between us added to our relationship in ways. Unfortunately,

424
00:21:13.480 --> 00:21:16.680
<v Speaker 1>I got the impression her parents were scrutinizing every aspect

425
00:21:16.720 --> 00:21:18.480
<v Speaker 1>of my life over the dinner we had on our

426
00:21:18.519 --> 00:21:22.279
<v Speaker 1>first meeting, and this included my family. I stayed true

427
00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:25.240
<v Speaker 1>to myself and maintained my confidence, but left the interaction

428
00:21:25.400 --> 00:21:29.279
<v Speaker 1>feeling like I bond a test. My girlfriend reassured me

429
00:21:29.359 --> 00:21:32.480
<v Speaker 1>they liked me, but her mood over the few days

430
00:21:32.519 --> 00:21:36.400
<v Speaker 1>afterwards suggested otherwise. I called her out on it and

431
00:21:36.440 --> 00:21:40.160
<v Speaker 1>pressed her for an explanation. I learned she's been upset

432
00:21:40.240 --> 00:21:42.480
<v Speaker 1>because of a fight she had with her mother following

433
00:21:42.519 --> 00:21:45.720
<v Speaker 1>the dinner. Her mother thinks I'm just having fun with

434
00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:47.960
<v Speaker 1>her daughter, that I will get bored and leave her,

435
00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:50.079
<v Speaker 1>and she's too old to be wasting time with me.

436
00:21:50.400 --> 00:21:53.680
<v Speaker 1>Apparently her mother got this impression entirely from the way

437
00:21:53.720 --> 00:21:56.079
<v Speaker 1>I look in this judgment about me. Trump's anything else

438
00:21:56.119 --> 00:21:59.799
<v Speaker 1>I shared about myself. My girlfriend and I decided to

439
00:21:59.799 --> 00:22:01.880
<v Speaker 1>have me spend more time with her family over the

440
00:22:01.880 --> 00:22:04.319
<v Speaker 1>coming holidays. So I have been going over every day

441
00:22:04.359 --> 00:22:06.960
<v Speaker 1>and involving myself in shopping trips, et cetera with my

442
00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:10.200
<v Speaker 1>girlfriend and her mom, hoping that she would get to

443
00:22:10.200 --> 00:22:14.440
<v Speaker 1>know me and overcome whatever skepticism she has. I even

444
00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:17.200
<v Speaker 1>spent hours getting a crash course in a strategy board

445
00:22:17.240 --> 00:22:19.559
<v Speaker 1>game her dad plays, and started playing with him to

446
00:22:19.599 --> 00:22:23.359
<v Speaker 1>continue learning it as a form of bonding despite feeling

447
00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:25.599
<v Speaker 1>like I wont her dad over I felt like her

448
00:22:25.640 --> 00:22:30.480
<v Speaker 1>mom was constantly evaluating my loyalty in subtle, unrealistic ways.

449
00:22:31.119 --> 00:22:34.799
<v Speaker 1>Examples include over analyzing how I interact with others in public,

450
00:22:35.079 --> 00:22:37.480
<v Speaker 1>reading too much into the way I smile, and the

451
00:22:37.519 --> 00:22:41.200
<v Speaker 1>way I show affection toward my girlfriend. According to my

452
00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:44.279
<v Speaker 1>girlfriend's mom, the fact that I have a motorcycle makes

453
00:22:44.279 --> 00:22:49.119
<v Speaker 1>me extra sludy, and that's how this escalated. My sister

454
00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:52.240
<v Speaker 1>and I have an eighteen year old dog. It's been

455
00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:55.519
<v Speaker 1>a tough few months for him. I think he's approaching

456
00:22:55.559 --> 00:22:59.079
<v Speaker 1>the end. For that reason, usually one of us is

457
00:22:59.119 --> 00:23:02.720
<v Speaker 1>always with him. He's on the smaller side, so he's

458
00:23:02.759 --> 00:23:06.039
<v Speaker 1>easy to bring along anywhere. I've had to leave to

459
00:23:06.039 --> 00:23:08.240
<v Speaker 1>give medicine to my dog at certain times of the

460
00:23:08.319 --> 00:23:10.240
<v Speaker 1>day because he's on a schedule, and I guess my

461
00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:14.480
<v Speaker 1>girlfriend's mom found even this to be suspicious. The other day,

462
00:23:14.519 --> 00:23:16.759
<v Speaker 1>I left my girlfriend and her family to go give

463
00:23:16.799 --> 00:23:18.799
<v Speaker 1>my dog his medicine, and on my way there, my

464
00:23:18.839 --> 00:23:21.200
<v Speaker 1>phone alerted that an air tag was traveling with me.

465
00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:25.119
<v Speaker 1>When I reached my place, I searched all my pockets

466
00:23:25.119 --> 00:23:27.960
<v Speaker 1>and stuff and eventually found it on the motorcycle itself.

467
00:23:28.920 --> 00:23:32.680
<v Speaker 1>It was connected to my girlfriend's mom's number. I told

468
00:23:32.680 --> 00:23:35.160
<v Speaker 1>my girlfriend, and my girlfriend said she put her mom's

469
00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:37.160
<v Speaker 1>air tag on my bike to prove to her mom

470
00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:39.039
<v Speaker 1>that I was not lying about where I was going.

471
00:23:40.039 --> 00:23:41.920
<v Speaker 1>I get that she was trying to defend me, but

472
00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:44.599
<v Speaker 1>I feel angry at her. It's hard to articulate, but

473
00:23:44.640 --> 00:23:48.079
<v Speaker 1>ever since I met my girlfriend's family, microaggressions by her

474
00:23:48.079 --> 00:23:50.039
<v Speaker 1>mom are really getting to me, and it's hard to

475
00:23:50.079 --> 00:23:54.200
<v Speaker 1>separate them from my girlfriend. Hoping I'm just over stimulated

476
00:23:54.200 --> 00:23:56.759
<v Speaker 1>by all this and things will get better after Christmas

477
00:23:56.799 --> 00:23:59.559
<v Speaker 1>is over. I'm not sure if I'm in awe for

478
00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:02.160
<v Speaker 1>being cold toward my girlfriend about the air tag, though,

479
00:24:03.079 --> 00:24:07.319
<v Speaker 1>but it's a frustration that I'm having trouble letting go of. Update.

480
00:24:07.559 --> 00:24:10.039
<v Speaker 1>We've been together for a few years and have discussed

481
00:24:10.039 --> 00:24:14.640
<v Speaker 1>getting married. Unfortunately, ever since I met her parents last year,

482
00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:18.440
<v Speaker 1>their behavior, specifically her mom, has made it difficult for

483
00:24:18.519 --> 00:24:22.079
<v Speaker 1>me to see a future any more. Her mom mistrusts me,

484
00:24:22.160 --> 00:24:25.359
<v Speaker 1>and it's all based on superficial impressions and assumptions about

485
00:24:25.400 --> 00:24:28.319
<v Speaker 1>who she thinks I am. I have tried to show

486
00:24:28.319 --> 00:24:31.599
<v Speaker 1>her parents patience, and I've been extremely respectful, giving them

487
00:24:31.640 --> 00:24:34.680
<v Speaker 1>opportunities to get to know me and overcome their prejudices.

488
00:24:35.720 --> 00:24:37.799
<v Speaker 1>Everything came to a head when I went to visit

489
00:24:37.839 --> 00:24:40.759
<v Speaker 1>my home country. I have a place here, and I

490
00:24:40.839 --> 00:24:44.119
<v Speaker 1>came to see a friend get married. Her parents showed

491
00:24:44.200 --> 00:24:47.839
<v Speaker 1>up unannounced and requested a ride from the airport. I

492
00:24:47.839 --> 00:24:51.000
<v Speaker 1>immediately called my girlfriend, despite the time difference, because I

493
00:24:51.079 --> 00:24:54.640
<v Speaker 1>was in shock. She claims she had no idea about

494
00:24:54.680 --> 00:24:58.839
<v Speaker 1>their plans. They claim it was all impromptu, cheap flight,

495
00:24:59.119 --> 00:25:03.000
<v Speaker 1>last minute at SA. I just don't buy it anyway.

496
00:25:03.279 --> 00:25:05.319
<v Speaker 1>I pick them up and they're currently staying with me

497
00:25:05.400 --> 00:25:09.119
<v Speaker 1>in my apartment. They've got no itinerary but want me

498
00:25:09.160 --> 00:25:11.319
<v Speaker 1>to arrange them to see X y Z. And of

499
00:25:11.359 --> 00:25:15.400
<v Speaker 1>course they need me as translator. Everything is apparently too

500
00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:19.240
<v Speaker 1>foreign to them. They're lost without me. They refuse to

501
00:25:19.240 --> 00:25:23.759
<v Speaker 1>go anywhere without me as an escort. My girlfriend is apologetic,

502
00:25:24.039 --> 00:25:26.279
<v Speaker 1>but I just don't see her supporting me and dealing

503
00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:29.599
<v Speaker 1>with her parents, especially her mom, who is the instigator.

504
00:25:29.839 --> 00:25:32.599
<v Speaker 1>The dad has no backbone, is forced to move to

505
00:25:32.640 --> 00:25:36.359
<v Speaker 1>follow her. I posted another issue a while back too.

506
00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:40.599
<v Speaker 1>My girlfriend doesn't support me in setting boundaries, so as

507
00:25:40.640 --> 00:25:42.680
<v Speaker 1>her partner, I fall into a rock and a hard

508
00:25:42.680 --> 00:25:45.720
<v Speaker 1>placed type situation. I can't tell if I'm being cold

509
00:25:45.720 --> 00:25:48.440
<v Speaker 1>and uninviting or if these people are crazy and my

510
00:25:48.519 --> 00:25:50.920
<v Speaker 1>girlfriend is so afraid of them she didn't even warn

511
00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:52.759
<v Speaker 1>me about something like this. I feel like I can

512
00:25:52.839 --> 00:25:56.160
<v Speaker 1>handle anything if she's on my side, but it doesn't

513
00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:59.599
<v Speaker 1>feel like she is. Maybe I can't be with someone

514
00:25:59.640 --> 00:26:05.559
<v Speaker 1>like that. Update one January nineteenth, twenty twenty five. I

515
00:26:05.720 --> 00:26:09.240
<v Speaker 1>just wanted to clarify some things. I only met my

516
00:26:09.319 --> 00:26:12.559
<v Speaker 1>girlfriend's parents for the first time late November twenty twenty four.

517
00:26:13.599 --> 00:26:15.920
<v Speaker 1>The reason I picked them up from the airport instead

518
00:26:15.920 --> 00:26:18.279
<v Speaker 1>of abandoning them or telling them to go find a hotel,

519
00:26:18.359 --> 00:26:20.559
<v Speaker 1>et cetera, was out of respect for my girlfriend and

520
00:26:20.599 --> 00:26:23.839
<v Speaker 1>the relationship I wanted to have with her and her parents.

521
00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:26.839
<v Speaker 1>After the first meeting I had with her parents in

522
00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:29.480
<v Speaker 1>late November that I shared in my first post, I

523
00:26:29.559 --> 00:26:36.039
<v Speaker 1>confronted my girlfriend. She apologized, and eventually her mother did too. Basically,

524
00:26:36.240 --> 00:26:39.039
<v Speaker 1>I thought we were past whatever suspicions and mistrust her

525
00:26:39.039 --> 00:26:43.400
<v Speaker 1>mother had about me. Then this happened. In the last

526
00:26:43.400 --> 00:26:46.799
<v Speaker 1>few days since this began, I have realized some things

527
00:26:46.799 --> 00:26:50.599
<v Speaker 1>about my relationship. My girlfriend has been trying to play

528
00:26:50.640 --> 00:26:54.200
<v Speaker 1>both sides. She'll tell me one thing in her parents

529
00:26:54.200 --> 00:26:58.200
<v Speaker 1>another thing. She's been hiding some deep trust issues about

530
00:26:58.240 --> 00:27:02.559
<v Speaker 1>me and insecurities about our relationship, mostly her fears about

531
00:27:02.599 --> 00:27:05.160
<v Speaker 1>me being unfaithful. I want to be clear that these

532
00:27:05.200 --> 00:27:07.799
<v Speaker 1>fears are not because of anything that I've done. It's

533
00:27:07.920 --> 00:27:11.480
<v Speaker 1>just how she feels. She used her parents to convince

534
00:27:11.519 --> 00:27:15.000
<v Speaker 1>me it wasn't her craziness, and I am pretty sure

535
00:27:15.079 --> 00:27:17.279
<v Speaker 1>she told her mom how she felt, and her mom

536
00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:20.160
<v Speaker 1>was willing to be in on it. I broke up

537
00:27:20.160 --> 00:27:23.440
<v Speaker 1>with my girlfriend and asked her parents to leave the

538
00:27:23.519 --> 00:27:25.720
<v Speaker 1>friend's wedding. I went to hit different because of that,

539
00:27:26.759 --> 00:27:29.680
<v Speaker 1>but it also made me realize how unhealthy and toxic

540
00:27:29.759 --> 00:27:34.519
<v Speaker 1>my relationship was. I haven't disclosed a lot, but I

541
00:27:34.559 --> 00:27:38.119
<v Speaker 1>think I was in an abusive relationship. I am still

542
00:27:38.119 --> 00:27:42.960
<v Speaker 1>struggling to accept that, and there is some shame creeping

543
00:27:43.039 --> 00:27:47.440
<v Speaker 1>up that I don't understand. Why is it there? Anyway?

544
00:27:48.440 --> 00:27:52.240
<v Speaker 1>Thanks for all the messages. I'm sorry my writing skills

545
00:27:52.279 --> 00:27:55.640
<v Speaker 1>aren't that great. I'm so drained from this situation. I

546
00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:58.440
<v Speaker 1>feel like I need to sleep for a month. I

547
00:27:58.480 --> 00:28:00.680
<v Speaker 1>don't even feel like writing about any of this, but

548
00:28:00.759 --> 00:28:04.839
<v Speaker 1>I felt I owed you the conclusion update two January

549
00:28:04.920 --> 00:28:09.000
<v Speaker 1>twenty seventh, twenty twenty five to those who were worried

550
00:28:09.039 --> 00:28:12.559
<v Speaker 1>my ex girlfriend would trash my place, nothing like that happened.

551
00:28:13.519 --> 00:28:16.480
<v Speaker 1>I talked to her in person. She said I was

552
00:28:16.559 --> 00:28:21.359
<v Speaker 1>misunderstanding everything. She began to cry, which was difficult for me.

553
00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:24.400
<v Speaker 1>There was a moment where I wanted to forget all

554
00:28:24.440 --> 00:28:27.319
<v Speaker 1>of it so I could hug her. I held back

555
00:28:27.359 --> 00:28:31.079
<v Speaker 1>because something felt different. She asked me if I hate her,

556
00:28:32.079 --> 00:28:35.920
<v Speaker 1>Obviously I don't, I said, I am tired of feeling

557
00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:38.000
<v Speaker 1>like the person I love is not who I thought

558
00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:41.480
<v Speaker 1>they were. Ever since she introduced me to her parents

559
00:28:41.680 --> 00:28:44.720
<v Speaker 1>and close friend circle, which I didn't talk about, I

560
00:28:44.759 --> 00:28:48.079
<v Speaker 1>have seen a side of her I don't recognize. After

561
00:28:48.160 --> 00:28:50.400
<v Speaker 1>meeting her parents for the first time and the strange

562
00:28:50.400 --> 00:28:53.319
<v Speaker 1>behavior started to add up, I gave her an opportunity

563
00:28:53.359 --> 00:28:56.559
<v Speaker 1>to come clean. I asked her to tell me everything.

564
00:28:57.559 --> 00:28:59.400
<v Speaker 1>I told her, I can't help you if you leave

565
00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:02.240
<v Speaker 1>me in the dark. I even warned her, if I

566
00:29:02.279 --> 00:29:05.799
<v Speaker 1>find out later, it's over. Because of the way she

567
00:29:05.880 --> 00:29:09.839
<v Speaker 1>chose to answer me during this conversation, every action I

568
00:29:09.880 --> 00:29:13.240
<v Speaker 1>took I held back. All she had to do was

569
00:29:13.240 --> 00:29:16.039
<v Speaker 1>tell me what was going on, I would have helped

570
00:29:16.039 --> 00:29:19.960
<v Speaker 1>her take on everything. Instead, she chose to trick me

571
00:29:20.039 --> 00:29:22.720
<v Speaker 1>in cruel ways while acting helpless and innocent. When I

572
00:29:22.839 --> 00:29:26.279
<v Speaker 1>questioned her about it, I shielded her. All this time,

573
00:29:27.279 --> 00:29:32.319
<v Speaker 1>she manipulated everyone around her, including me. Everything is confusing

574
00:29:32.359 --> 00:29:35.400
<v Speaker 1>now I look back at all of our time together

575
00:29:35.519 --> 00:29:40.480
<v Speaker 1>and feel crazy. I can't differentiate any more her true

576
00:29:40.519 --> 00:29:44.319
<v Speaker 1>feelings about anything. She tried to explain the stress of

577
00:29:44.359 --> 00:29:46.880
<v Speaker 1>pleasing her friends and family made her act this way,

578
00:29:46.960 --> 00:29:49.359
<v Speaker 1>but she doesn't share their views or doubts about me.

579
00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:53.000
<v Speaker 1>She said, she's never loved anyone the way she loves me,

580
00:29:53.079 --> 00:29:56.200
<v Speaker 1>and her feelings scare her. I wish she would just

581
00:29:56.279 --> 00:30:00.160
<v Speaker 1>admit she had too much fucking pride. I understand she

582
00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:02.079
<v Speaker 1>is the way she is, probably due to how she

583
00:30:02.200 --> 00:30:04.519
<v Speaker 1>was raised, but some of the things she has said

584
00:30:04.519 --> 00:30:08.720
<v Speaker 1>and done are unforgivable. The conversation went on, but everything

585
00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:13.119
<v Speaker 1>was still other people's fault. She wasn't taking any accountability,

586
00:30:14.079 --> 00:30:16.839
<v Speaker 1>so I stood by my decision to stay broken up,

587
00:30:17.759 --> 00:30:21.720
<v Speaker 1>to be honest by hesitating for even that singular moment

588
00:30:21.759 --> 00:30:23.839
<v Speaker 1>when I wanted to hold her, she showed me the

589
00:30:23.880 --> 00:30:25.880
<v Speaker 1>side of her that comes out when she doesn't get

590
00:30:25.880 --> 00:30:29.039
<v Speaker 1>her way. For the first time, I felt like what

591
00:30:29.119 --> 00:30:32.400
<v Speaker 1>I was seeing is actually her true self. We were

592
00:30:32.440 --> 00:30:37.000
<v Speaker 1>having this conversation while walking outside. We had stopped walking

593
00:30:37.039 --> 00:30:40.599
<v Speaker 1>and she was wiping her tears. When she realized I

594
00:30:40.680 --> 00:30:43.400
<v Speaker 1>wasn't going to comfort her, she started to say degrading

595
00:30:43.440 --> 00:30:46.559
<v Speaker 1>things about me. I also brought it up again that

596
00:30:46.640 --> 00:30:48.920
<v Speaker 1>my life is easier than hers because I grew up

597
00:30:48.920 --> 00:30:52.400
<v Speaker 1>with no parents. This comment was so fucked up it

598
00:30:52.440 --> 00:30:55.920
<v Speaker 1>made me laugh. I told her she's so privileged, she

599
00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:58.000
<v Speaker 1>has no idea what it even means to have a

600
00:30:58.039 --> 00:31:01.400
<v Speaker 1>hard life. Because I I laughed, I could tell she

601
00:31:01.480 --> 00:31:05.440
<v Speaker 1>wanted to throw her coffee at me. She didn't. Instead,

602
00:31:05.759 --> 00:31:08.160
<v Speaker 1>she said some more things about me, and I realized

603
00:31:08.200 --> 00:31:10.720
<v Speaker 1>I don't care any more because I don't even recognize

604
00:31:10.720 --> 00:31:14.079
<v Speaker 1>this woman who is yapping in front of me. Since then,

605
00:31:14.359 --> 00:31:16.720
<v Speaker 1>she has emailed me an Excel spreadsheet of all the

606
00:31:16.759 --> 00:31:20.359
<v Speaker 1>money I owe. The things she has itemized are things

607
00:31:20.480 --> 00:31:22.839
<v Speaker 1>like all the time she upgraded me on a flight,

608
00:31:23.200 --> 00:31:27.400
<v Speaker 1>luxury gifts she has bought me on birthdays, Christmas, et cetera.

609
00:31:27.640 --> 00:31:31.279
<v Speaker 1>She also included ridiculous things like estimated cost of gas

610
00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:33.880
<v Speaker 1>X amount of times when she was my designated driver

611
00:31:34.920 --> 00:31:37.799
<v Speaker 1>and pregnancy tests. I think she added this just to

612
00:31:37.880 --> 00:31:42.400
<v Speaker 1>mess with me. I'm not going to bother explaining my contributions.

613
00:31:43.000 --> 00:31:46.359
<v Speaker 1>This email made me sick. I packed her things that

614
00:31:46.400 --> 00:31:49.480
<v Speaker 1>were in my apartment. I had a friend come over.

615
00:31:49.559 --> 00:31:52.599
<v Speaker 1>When she came to collect them, she didn't know this.

616
00:31:53.839 --> 00:31:56.079
<v Speaker 1>I answered the door and she pushed against me and

617
00:31:56.160 --> 00:31:59.680
<v Speaker 1>tried to initiate I didn't return her advance, and she

618
00:31:59.759 --> 00:32:03.240
<v Speaker 1>got angry and scratched me. I think maybe she was

619
00:32:03.279 --> 00:32:06.680
<v Speaker 1>trying to slap me but couldn't reach I'm not really

620
00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:09.359
<v Speaker 1>sure because it happened too fast, and I restrained her.

621
00:32:09.640 --> 00:32:11.920
<v Speaker 1>My friend came out and began calling her on it.

622
00:32:12.880 --> 00:32:15.200
<v Speaker 1>He made a show of taking a video and threatened

623
00:32:15.240 --> 00:32:18.359
<v Speaker 1>her with assault. I think it embarrassed her, so she

624
00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:22.440
<v Speaker 1>probably won't do something like this again. The only downside

625
00:32:22.480 --> 00:32:25.640
<v Speaker 1>to his presence was I think she will try to

626
00:32:25.680 --> 00:32:28.359
<v Speaker 1>convince herself. I rejected her in that moment because he

627
00:32:28.480 --> 00:32:32.920
<v Speaker 1>was there. I have people asking about my dog. He's

628
00:32:32.920 --> 00:32:37.240
<v Speaker 1>happy and comfortable and still alive. He eats well, unlike

629
00:32:37.279 --> 00:32:41.079
<v Speaker 1>his age. My priorities are to improve the quality of

630
00:32:41.079 --> 00:32:45.240
<v Speaker 1>his life, not unnecessarily prolong it, but every night I

631
00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:48.880
<v Speaker 1>check on him before I fall asleep, and every morning

632
00:32:48.920 --> 00:32:51.920
<v Speaker 1>I wake up with this feeling of dread. He has

633
00:32:51.960 --> 00:32:56.559
<v Speaker 1>Cushing's disease and chronic pancreatitis. He is high risk for

634
00:32:56.640 --> 00:33:00.960
<v Speaker 1>developing cancer. The medication routine is a bit complex, but

635
00:33:01.039 --> 00:33:04.279
<v Speaker 1>I am learning everything else can for him. Take care

636
00:33:04.279 --> 00:33:07.480
<v Speaker 1>of your pets and check them often for lumps. A

637
00:33:07.519 --> 00:33:10.839
<v Speaker 1>lot of animals hide their pain. I guess we have

638
00:33:10.960 --> 00:33:15.200
<v Speaker 1>that in common. Ah. Maybe I shouldn't have ended the

639
00:33:15.240 --> 00:33:21.200
<v Speaker 1>post like this. Anyway, I'm really okay. I posted this

640
00:33:21.359 --> 00:33:23.559
<v Speaker 1>update because I got a lot of messages and it's

641
00:33:23.599 --> 00:33:27.359
<v Speaker 1>easier than answering them separately. In case I don't feel

642
00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:31.039
<v Speaker 1>like answering comments, I will just leave this here. There

643
00:33:31.079 --> 00:33:34.079
<v Speaker 1>is a lot I haven't shared. There is a lot

644
00:33:34.119 --> 00:33:37.200
<v Speaker 1>I haven't even admit to myself yet. I am not

645
00:33:37.359 --> 00:33:40.920
<v Speaker 1>saying I am perfect. It's not about being right or

646
00:33:40.920 --> 00:33:45.319
<v Speaker 1>wrong anymore. I have a lot of flaws too. I'm

647
00:33:45.359 --> 00:33:48.720
<v Speaker 1>sure I handled some things poorly, and I know I

648
00:33:48.839 --> 00:33:52.480
<v Speaker 1>was a fool. I also still experience moments where my

649
00:33:52.519 --> 00:33:55.039
<v Speaker 1>heart aches and I question if I'm wrong about everything,

650
00:33:55.400 --> 00:33:58.839
<v Speaker 1>wanting to just get back together. Hopefully this will get

651
00:33:58.880 --> 00:34:04.000
<v Speaker 1>easier with time. Anyway, writing here counts as therapy, right,

652
00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:07.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to go drink a cold beer in the shower.

653
00:34:08.280 --> 00:34:12.400
<v Speaker 1>Next story made my entitled step daughter pay for destroying

654
00:34:12.440 --> 00:34:15.400
<v Speaker 1>my daughter's computer after she got jealous of her room makeover.

655
00:34:15.719 --> 00:34:18.199
<v Speaker 1>But now my husband and his ex are furious with me.

656
00:34:19.280 --> 00:34:23.480
<v Speaker 1>I thirty f have a fourteen year old daughter. Leah.

657
00:34:23.519 --> 00:34:27.039
<v Speaker 1>Married my husband Mark forty six m six years ago