Speaker 1: All right, So in this review I make a mistake.
Speaker 1: I referenced an earlier film that Mila Djovivich did, and
Speaker 1: because I was thinking and talking way too fast, I
Speaker 1: pulled the wrong Bruce Willis reference. Out of my mind.
Speaker 1: I say that she was in the sixth sense, but
Speaker 1: it's the wrong numbered Willis film. She was, of course
Speaker 1: in the fifth element. Hopefully you can understand how I
Speaker 1: made this mistake and spare me the emails and dms.
Speaker 1: I caught the mistake, it was just too late to
Speaker 1: do anything about it. That's life. In these live recording
Speaker 1: podcast streets, I can tell you with one hundred percent
Speaker 1: certainty that Mila Jovivic is in fact the Protector. I'm
Speaker 1: Ronald Young Junior, and I'm leaving the theater. All right.
Speaker 1: This is Ronald and I am leaving the theater after
Speaker 1: seeing Protector. Protector written by bung sieb Munn, directed by
Speaker 1: Adrian Grunberg, starring Mila Djoviovich, Matthew Modine, dB Sweeney, Don Harvey,
Speaker 1: and Michael Stall, David per Usual. For a complete listing
Speaker 1: of the cast and crew, you could check out the
Speaker 1: link in our show notes. It is just me today.
Speaker 1: If you listen to Hoppers. You know that this is
Speaker 1: the third part of a three day, four movie marathon.
Speaker 1: I saw Project Hail Mary yesterday. Earlier today I saw Hoppers,
Speaker 1: and then I left Hoppers and came immediately over to
Speaker 1: Tyson's Corner to watch Protector. Protector is a film starring
Speaker 1: Mila Djovivich, and the best way to describe this film
Speaker 1: is if John Wick and Taken had a terrible baby,
Speaker 1: just a baby that they had a child, and it
Speaker 1: just you were like, how could this be the child?
Speaker 1: There are resemblances, but how could this be the same child.
Speaker 1: The best thing about this movie is that it is
Speaker 1: an hour and thirty five minutes long. Other than that,
Speaker 1: this is a terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible terrible movie. Everything.
Speaker 1: There's little things like there's a way that Mila Djoviovich
Speaker 1: is talking that is making me think she did something
Speaker 1: to her mouth or she's trying to do an accent.
Speaker 1: Either way, it just it does not work. I almost
Speaker 1: want y'all to go see this movie so y'all can
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about. Mila Jovivich is a former
Speaker 1: soldier who finds who has to She's formal special for
Speaker 1: former Special Forces. She has to go home to take
Speaker 1: care of her daughter after her husband dies of leukemia.
Speaker 1: She's missed most of her child's life growing up. It
Speaker 1: shows glimpses of her from age three to sixteen on
Speaker 1: her birthday, her missing birthday sometimes being there, that type
Speaker 1: of thing. Her father dies of leukemia, therefore she has
Speaker 1: to go home and take care of her daughter. So
Speaker 1: her husband dies of leukemia and she has to go
Speaker 1: home and take care of her daughter. She goes home
Speaker 1: to take care of her. She decides that she wants
Speaker 1: to go out for a sixteen birthday instead of hanging
Speaker 1: out with mom. They have a little bit of a
Speaker 1: bit of a fight, and then she goes to a bar.
Speaker 1: She is human trafficked. Mila Djovivich goes to try to
Speaker 1: save her, and that is the rest of the film.
Speaker 1: So right off the bat, I just was like one star,
Speaker 1: one star, right off the bat, because something happens early
Speaker 1: in the film where basically the same thing they always
Speaker 1: say in most films like this, you only have seventy
Speaker 1: two hours before the trail goes cold, and Mila Djovivich
Speaker 1: finds herself in a predicament where she's beat up some
Speaker 1: of the bad guys while trying to get her daughter back.
Speaker 1: They're able to escape. She's lying on the ground, knocked out,
Speaker 1: and the clock starts at seventy two hours. Then inexplicably,
Speaker 1: the clock jumps ahead to only forty four hours being left,
Speaker 1: and she's like, I'm running out of time, and we
Speaker 1: see her upside down in a butcher's meat locker type
Speaker 1: situation where obviously the guy that's about to torture her
Speaker 1: is going to die horribly right off the bat, I
Speaker 1: said one star, I don't know why y'all just skipped ahead,
Speaker 1: because in that thirty hours that they skipped, they showed
Speaker 1: this very quick montage of her burning down a whorehouse,
Speaker 1: beating the trash out of the dude that actually that
Speaker 1: first trafficked her daughter, and kind of just going on
Speaker 1: a rampage while alerting everyone in the bad guy club
Speaker 1: the syndicate that she's out to get them. Why did
Speaker 1: I miss that? Why would you not show that to me?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? I was sitting there watching this
Speaker 1: and I remember thinking, well, I'm definitely gonna have to
Speaker 1: watch Taken because in taking one of the best parts
Speaker 1: about that film, and I don't talk about Taking two
Speaker 1: or Taken three, But in Taking the first, it just
Speaker 1: they made a good movie. They made a good movie.
Speaker 1: You're rooting for Brian to find I remember the name
Speaker 1: of the character. You're rooting for Brian to find his daughter.
Speaker 1: You're rooting for him the entire time. And they they
Speaker 1: know that the action of the film is better than
Speaker 1: who's doing the action. Yeah, we see Liam Neeson's face
Speaker 1: doing stuff, asking questions, that type of thing. But bottom
Speaker 1: line is they want to give us good shots of
Speaker 1: the action because this is an action movie. Protector. On
Speaker 1: the other hand, it's bad. The acting is bad, the
Speaker 1: score is bad. It looks cheap. I'm thinking about the score.
Speaker 1: That's how I know it's bad. It's just it's dark,
Speaker 1: it's dower, it's tones. They couldn't afford nobody good. They
Speaker 1: got somebody's cousin to do this. It's not good. It
Speaker 1: looks cheap. The seat, the sets look like airbnbs. It's
Speaker 1: filmed in New Mexico, and it's shot to look like California.
Speaker 1: It just it doesn't look good. And maybe it's not
Speaker 1: shot to look like California. Maybe I'm supposed to tick
Speaker 1: in its new Mexico. However, unfortunately, Vince Gilligan in Breaking
Speaker 1: Bad and Pluribuss has such a love affair and Better
Speaker 1: Call Saul has such a love affair with the American
Speaker 1: Southwest that it's hard for me to look at a
Speaker 1: movie like this and be like, Mandy, y'all hate the
Speaker 1: American Southwest. This is terrible. Yeah. So I brought up
Speaker 1: to taking comparisons because for a film like this, you
Speaker 1: don't have to reinvent the wheel. They already have good
Speaker 1: movies like this that have been made. You can just
Speaker 1: copy those movies. It's fine. Man on Fire is one
Speaker 1: of my favorite movies until Taken came out, and I said,
Speaker 1: oh man, what a great film. They really took something
Speaker 1: and they made it even better. But they didn't necessarily
Speaker 1: reinvent the wheel with the vengeful, vengeful parent or parent
Speaker 1: figure going after their child. And in this film, they
Speaker 1: just man, I, oh boy, what a bad movie. Just
Speaker 1: bad acting bad, I said, score bad. The antagonists are
Speaker 1: cartoonishly evil. They're using words like livestock and merchandise, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, we get it. They're bad guys. We
Speaker 1: know we want them to die. We get it. You
Speaker 1: don't have to say much about them for us, for
Speaker 1: me to want them. They don't have to say much
Speaker 1: at all to be like, kill those guys, what are
Speaker 1: we talking about. There's just several times in which the
Speaker 1: plot just doesn't make sense, and then there is a
Speaker 1: twist at the end of the film. Matthew Modine is
Speaker 1: in this film. There's a twist at the end of
Speaker 1: the film that he explains that I almost stood up
Speaker 1: and actively started booing. I almost booed this film right
Speaker 1: off the screen. It was one of those films in
Speaker 1: which I wanted to connect with the other people in
Speaker 1: the audience to be like, we all agreed this was garbage, right.
Speaker 1: Everyone got up and left quietly. No one clapped or
Speaker 1: or hooted or talked to their neighbors. Everyone just got
Speaker 1: up and left quietly. And I remember thinking, Oh, y'all
Speaker 1: didn't like it either. Y'all saw this Mila Joviovic movie,
Speaker 1: and we thought, man gonna get a good movie with Milijoviovich.
Speaker 1: We've watched her in Resident Evil and probably some other
Speaker 1: action movies and or The Sixth Sense, and we've really
Speaker 1: enjoyed her career. Wow, I feel like she was doing
Speaker 1: a favor for a friend or something. Just I mean
Speaker 1: it's bad. I I don't think I need to say
Speaker 1: that it's bad much longer. It's just it's a bad movie.
Speaker 1: That being said, better than Scream seven. With all that,
Speaker 1: one point five of five stars. That's right. I would
Speaker 1: still watch this before I watched Scream seven again, that's right.
Speaker 1: You heard me. You heard me. One point five stars,
Speaker 1: not quite too, not very good, not as bad as
Speaker 1: Scream seven. And with that leaving the theater is a
Speaker 1: production of Oh It's Big Ron Studios. I mixed this episode.
Speaker 1: You have heard me talking about this four movie three
Speaker 1: day marathon in which I've just done my double feature.
Speaker 1: I have one more movie to go tomorrow, and I
Speaker 1: will have four weeks of content for y'all, four episodes
Speaker 1: Hot Fresh ready to go. All I gotta do is
Speaker 1: edit them through next week. So I'll edit probably one
Speaker 1: on Sunday, and I'll probably edit one every day Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
Speaker 1: just to make sure that I'm ahead of schedule and
Speaker 1: that everything's coming out nice. If you are in the Patreon,
Speaker 1: you will be getting Project Hail Mary this Friday. Now
Speaker 1: here's the interesting thing about this no one who's in
Speaker 1: the patreon is probably hearing what I'm saying now because
Speaker 1: this part of the episode is not in the patreon.
Speaker 1: So I'm only telling y'all that are not in the
Speaker 1: patreon that this Friday, everyone's gonna have the Project Hail
Speaker 1: Mary review, and you're not gonna get it until Monday
Speaker 1: because you're not in there. Now. I'm working hard out here.
Speaker 1: I'm watching these movies. I'm giving you my little thoughts
Speaker 1: on them. I'm forcing my opinion on you. As Curtis
Speaker 1: said one time to me, this is what I do
Speaker 1: because I love movies way more than you do. Oh no,
Speaker 1: why is he getting personal with the audience. It's been
Speaker 1: a long day, all right. I've done a lot of
Speaker 1: labor for y'all. It's a labor of love, but it's
Speaker 1: still labor. If that means something to you, please join
Speaker 1: theepatreon patreon dot com slash Oh it's big. Ron joined
Speaker 1: because that was a really good pitch. Just join and
Speaker 1: say you know what, Ronald baby Spy, I'm a joint.
Speaker 1: Or you could go to the link in our show notes.
Speaker 1: Show art from Heather Wilder. Theme music by the Mysterious
Speaker 1: Breakmaster cylinder. For more information about Protector, check out our
Speaker 1: show notes. You can follow me on Instagram, Blue Sky, TikTok, Threads,
Speaker 1: or letterboxed at Owitz Big Ron. That's at O H
Speaker 1: I T S b I g R O N. You
Speaker 1: can find out more about the show and other Owens
Speaker 1: big Rond Studio shows by following us on Instagram at
Speaker 1: Owitz pig Round Studios. Leaving the theater will be back soon.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.