WEBVTT 1 00:00:04.639 --> 00:00:05.639 Weird, weird. 2 00:00:55.520 --> 00:00:59.520 Welcome back midnight viewers. Been a while. I'm Father Alone. 3 00:00:59.719 --> 00:01:02.880 Sit next to me and her codependent glory is Miss 4 00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:08.000 Ripley Jean. Yes you are, Yes, we are. You need 5 00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:10.120 me for food and shelter, and I need you to 6 00:01:10.159 --> 00:01:12.280 wake me up after I've been asleep for twenty minutes 7 00:01:12.400 --> 00:01:14.680 to let me know. You definitely heard a monster lurking 8 00:01:14.719 --> 00:01:17.319 somewhere in the vicinity. That was one time, and it 9 00:01:17.319 --> 00:01:19.719 was a goblin, which are more pests than anything. But 10 00:01:19.760 --> 00:01:22.840 you're right. You're a good guard dog, just a potato 11 00:01:22.920 --> 00:01:26.640 with legs and all other regards. Let me ask you something, Pittsburgh, Hi, 12 00:01:26.719 --> 00:01:30.359 you sleeping anyone? Remember King Kaiser. I realized I should 13 00:01:30.359 --> 00:01:33.159 retitle the show to simply the round Up, but I'm 14 00:01:33.159 --> 00:01:35.719 doing my best y'all. Twice a week is serious business. 15 00:01:35.879 --> 00:01:38.719 Speaking of that, thank you to all my patrons. I 16 00:01:38.760 --> 00:01:40.760 didn't realize that there were that many of you. I 17 00:01:40.879 --> 00:01:42.480 just show up and post a new episode and hope 18 00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:45.519 you're enjoying, and you seem to be. That's Patreon dot 19 00:01:45.519 --> 00:01:49.200 com slash fatherm Alone. We've got new shows only available there. 20 00:01:49.200 --> 00:01:51.760 And of course everything early, and I'm not talking day 21 00:01:51.799 --> 00:01:54.079 before early man, unless I just finished it and it 22 00:01:54.120 --> 00:01:56.079 comes out the next day. Of course, I'm talking weeks 23 00:01:56.079 --> 00:02:00.359 in advance, speaking of new shows or legacy sequels. Chris, you, 24 00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:05.040 our frequent collaborator here at Midnight Viewing, has an all new, reconfigured, 25 00:02:05.159 --> 00:02:07.799 primed and pumped, fresh coat of paint version of the 26 00:02:07.920 --> 00:02:11.840 Culture Cast, debuting a much more personalized version of the show. 27 00:02:12.039 --> 00:02:15.599 I've heard an early episode. Check him out. He's got 28 00:02:15.599 --> 00:02:18.560 a Patreon too. Everyone's got a Patreon, And since we're 29 00:02:18.599 --> 00:02:21.599 talking Patreon, I'm so excited to announce I'll be featured 30 00:02:21.680 --> 00:02:25.680 on a Patreon exclusive show with Paul Waller, the host 31 00:02:25.759 --> 00:02:28.599 of a Year in Horror podcast. It'll be on his 32 00:02:28.719 --> 00:02:31.599 Patreon feed, and then once the entire series is complete, 33 00:02:31.599 --> 00:02:34.400 will be available to the non paying public. But that's 34 00:02:34.520 --> 00:02:37.120 like a year off at least. The show is called 35 00:02:37.439 --> 00:02:40.879 Little Old Lady Got Mutilated Late last night? Can you 36 00:02:40.919 --> 00:02:44.280 guess the subject? If you can, you're cool if you can't. 37 00:02:44.560 --> 00:02:47.719 It's a werewolf show. We're looking at like aanthropy through 38 00:02:47.719 --> 00:02:50.840 the Ages, starting with mister Lon Cheney and the wolf Man. 39 00:02:51.159 --> 00:02:53.280 We've already got a couple of episodes done and they 40 00:02:53.319 --> 00:02:55.639 are a fucking blast. If you want to hear what 41 00:02:55.680 --> 00:02:57.879 that will sound like, you can check out Paul on 42 00:02:57.919 --> 00:03:01.199 a previous episode of Midnight Viewing where we discussed George 43 00:03:01.240 --> 00:03:03.719 Romero and Stephen King's and I think might be my 44 00:03:03.759 --> 00:03:06.240 favorite movie of all time. Sorry, don of the Dead, 45 00:03:06.479 --> 00:03:09.479 You're still in the family. Creep show. And if you 46 00:03:09.520 --> 00:03:12.000 head over to Paul's show, A Year in Horror, the 47 00:03:12.039 --> 00:03:15.000 best horror podcast out there, better than this yep might 48 00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:17.479 be this month he is looking at the works of 49 00:03:17.560 --> 00:03:20.759 Wes Craven and I'm on the first episode talking about 50 00:03:20.800 --> 00:03:25.599 my main man swamp thing. And check out episode four 51 00:03:25.759 --> 00:03:28.360 of his West Craven series. I got to Paul before 52 00:03:28.360 --> 00:03:31.120 he went to press, and he graciously allowed a rebuttal 53 00:03:31.199 --> 00:03:34.439 on his show. He is fucking awesome. A Year in 54 00:03:34.479 --> 00:03:37.479 Horror is fucking awesome. You know what else is awesome? Halloween, 55 00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:40.719 and it's coming every year. The spooky season begins a 56 00:03:40.719 --> 00:03:44.280 little earlier than Skeletons and ghosties start popping up for 57 00:03:44.319 --> 00:03:47.479 purchase in the late July, but the actual witching season 58 00:03:47.639 --> 00:03:50.840 is October. And to start the festivities right, come to 59 00:03:50.960 --> 00:03:54.360 Las Vegas. We don't have leaves changing or a chill 60 00:03:54.400 --> 00:03:57.199 that seems down into your bones. But we will have 61 00:03:57.280 --> 00:04:00.520 hot rods in horror every witch away. Mark that calendar. 62 00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:04.159 October fourth and fifth, twenty twenty five, at the Silverton 63 00:04:04.199 --> 00:04:08.439 Hotel and Casino, the Nightmare in Vegas Convention and Car Show. 64 00:04:08.639 --> 00:04:11.599 They've got guests, they've got vendors, they've got blood and 65 00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:14.280 gore and so much more. And this year they've got 66 00:04:14.319 --> 00:04:17.079 midnight viewing. That's right, We're going to be on display 67 00:04:17.079 --> 00:04:19.759 for both days of the convention. Stop by and argue 68 00:04:19.759 --> 00:04:22.839 with me about Tales from the Crypt. It's bad you're 69 00:04:22.879 --> 00:04:27.279 blinded by nostalgia. That message is for Lono specifically, but 70 00:04:27.639 --> 00:04:29.600 all of you, really, And it won't be just me, 71 00:04:29.680 --> 00:04:33.040 Oh no, no, no. Winging in from Beantown will be 72 00:04:33.160 --> 00:04:36.000 mister h P. Come to the booth and make him 73 00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:38.639 compose you a diddy. He's quite good at that. Also 74 00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:41.199 joining us will be the aforementioned Chris Stash you from 75 00:04:41.240 --> 00:04:45.120 the Culture cast, winging in from Wheatville. Isn't that what 76 00:04:45.199 --> 00:04:48.120 Nebraska is known for? Just a whole state designed to 77 00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:52.879 murder me? Not featured Mike White because he's selfish, Detroit 78 00:04:52.959 --> 00:04:57.279 versus everybody, indeed, So come down to the Silverton Casino 79 00:04:57.360 --> 00:05:00.399 on October fourth and fifth, Nightmare in Vegas. Let me 80 00:05:00.439 --> 00:05:03.959 tell you something, Las Vegas in autumn is fucking heavenly. 81 00:05:04.240 --> 00:05:06.319 I'll push no more, but I will put links in 82 00:05:06.399 --> 00:05:08.959 the show notes to all of this Malarkey. Hit these 83 00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:12.759 people up and let him know Father Malone sent you. You 84 00:05:12.160 --> 00:05:15.000 know where it isn't fucking heavenly. The High Borian Age. 85 00:05:15.160 --> 00:05:17.639 That's where I've been spending too much of my time lately. 86 00:05:17.759 --> 00:05:20.439 You remember the high Borian Age, between the times when 87 00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:22.519 the ocean strank Atlantis and the rise of the suns 88 00:05:22.519 --> 00:05:25.160 of Arius. It was an age undreamed of. I'm talking, 89 00:05:25.199 --> 00:05:28.439 of course, about Robert Howard's Conan the Barbarian. Have I 90 00:05:28.480 --> 00:05:31.000 been watching the movie on a loop for weeks? Or 91 00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:33.319 have I been going back through the novels and fragments 92 00:05:33.360 --> 00:05:36.199 of novels and trying to separate that fucking villain El 93 00:05:36.360 --> 00:05:39.839 Sprague de camp. I hope I mispronounced that from Howard's 94 00:05:39.839 --> 00:05:42.759 original work. Maybe you might not know this. Robert E. 95 00:05:42.879 --> 00:05:46.199 Howard was a Texas lunatic who wrote a ton of 96 00:05:46.240 --> 00:05:50.720 pulp adventures featuring a ton of diverse characters in supporting roles. 97 00:05:50.839 --> 00:05:53.279 In the main role, he kept recycling and reusing the 98 00:05:53.319 --> 00:05:56.519 same hero in different garb, bound by the different rules 99 00:05:56.519 --> 00:05:59.560 of the different ages, the true distilled version being Conan, 100 00:05:59.639 --> 00:06:03.879 the Conan, the Barbarian, Conan, the King. If I'm being 101 00:06:03.879 --> 00:06:06.639 totally honest with you, Conan is my second favorite Howard 102 00:06:06.680 --> 00:06:09.879 hero I'm a sucker for a pilgrim fighting demons, which 103 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:13.519 is a fascil way to describe his righteous puritan Solomon Kine. 104 00:06:14.040 --> 00:06:15.720 They made a film about him a few years back, 105 00:06:15.759 --> 00:06:19.160 with James Purefoy in the lead. He was okay. The 106 00:06:19.240 --> 00:06:21.560 movie was okay, which is a drag because it has 107 00:06:21.600 --> 00:06:24.199 some fucking great moments in it. It was an abandoned 108 00:06:24.240 --> 00:06:27.319 and or shelved production and ultimately relies too much on 109 00:06:27.439 --> 00:06:31.319 cgi that never had enough time or money to sustain it, 110 00:06:31.759 --> 00:06:34.000 though it is worth a look. It almost gets the 111 00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:36.199 spirit of the books, which is my way of saying, 112 00:06:36.399 --> 00:06:39.600 read the Solomon k novels. You can read them all 113 00:06:39.639 --> 00:06:42.759 in a couple of days. They're great stuff. Anyway, Robert E. Howard, 114 00:06:42.959 --> 00:06:45.360 did you know he was pen pals with H. P. Lovecraft. 115 00:06:45.680 --> 00:06:49.839 It's true they had spirited discussions about their individual created universes, 116 00:06:50.160 --> 00:06:54.199 Howard's Hyborian age and Lovecraft's old God Mythos. You should 117 00:06:54.240 --> 00:06:57.959 read those two. So Howard ekes out in existence, ekes 118 00:06:58.279 --> 00:07:01.959 out in existence, and it all ended horribly. But his 119 00:07:02.040 --> 00:07:04.920 human drama was just the fucking appetizer. Because Howard is 120 00:07:04.959 --> 00:07:07.879 dead in nineteen thirty six, his father continues publishing the 121 00:07:07.879 --> 00:07:11.040 books through the forties to pretty great success. The editor 122 00:07:11.079 --> 00:07:13.800 of those novels is the prick I named el Sprague 123 00:07:13.800 --> 00:07:16.279 de Camp. When the popularity of Conan was apparent, to 124 00:07:16.319 --> 00:07:19.279 Camp and a few others began expanding the Adventures of Conan, 125 00:07:19.480 --> 00:07:22.519 which is fine, extended universes are what they are. But 126 00:07:22.639 --> 00:07:26.600 de Camp started engaging what is euphemistically referred to as pastiche, 127 00:07:27.120 --> 00:07:29.560 which is a ten cent way to say he rewrote 128 00:07:29.639 --> 00:07:33.120 a lot of Howard's original work. The motivation supposedly was 129 00:07:33.160 --> 00:07:35.279 to get the character more in line with all of 130 00:07:35.279 --> 00:07:39.600 the future adventures. Well, fuck that, man, you're not George Lucas. 131 00:07:39.720 --> 00:07:42.839 This ain't Star Wars. It's stupid shit too, Like adding 132 00:07:42.879 --> 00:07:47.199 the numbers of armies there were three thousand Volusians. Oh thanks, 133 00:07:47.240 --> 00:07:50.160 I'm sure Howard, meticulous in his own writing, left that 134 00:07:50.240 --> 00:07:54.040 out accidentally. Not only that, De Camp then suppressed all 135 00:07:54.079 --> 00:07:56.839 of the original work from being reprinted. That way, he's 136 00:07:56.920 --> 00:07:59.480 drawing a salary and has control of all of Conan 137 00:08:00.040 --> 00:08:02.759 and the motherfucker wrote a biography of Robert Howard that 138 00:08:02.879 --> 00:08:05.920 is less than charitable anyway. No, I haven't been watching 139 00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:09.360 the movie or rereading the novels or watching the TV series. 140 00:08:09.399 --> 00:08:13.120 Remember that Conan the Adventurer. They figured another muscled guy 141 00:08:13.199 --> 00:08:17.800 with Germanic name equals instant Conan incorrect or the cartoon. 142 00:08:17.839 --> 00:08:21.759 Have you seen the Conan cartoon? I mean cartoons plural. 143 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:25.319 That first animated film was another Conan the Adventurer that 144 00:08:25.360 --> 00:08:28.040 was in ninety three. That one was such a huge success. 145 00:08:28.160 --> 00:08:30.399 I mean we're really all still talking about it. That 146 00:08:30.439 --> 00:08:33.519 the very next year they released Conan and the Young Warriors. 147 00:08:33.840 --> 00:08:37.200 They are terrible. Actually, there's a fan made a tribute 148 00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:39.879 film on YouTube called Conan the Sumerian by a fellow 149 00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:43.720 named Alan Segwin. If they made that into an animated series, 150 00:08:43.879 --> 00:08:46.639 it'd be something special. Check the show notes. I have 151 00:08:46.759 --> 00:08:49.399 neither been engaged with any of that media, nor have 152 00:08:49.480 --> 00:08:52.159 I been reading the many many comic books. You ever 153 00:08:52.200 --> 00:08:55.320 hear Quentin Tarantino talk about Conan, it's usually in the 154 00:08:55.320 --> 00:08:58.120 framework of the John Millias film, But any talk of 155 00:08:58.159 --> 00:09:02.279 the character outside of that is completely and utterly rooted 156 00:09:02.399 --> 00:09:05.000 in the Marvel comics of the seventies. He seems to 157 00:09:05.039 --> 00:09:08.200 have no other frame of reference. It's super weird. So 158 00:09:08.519 --> 00:09:11.799 not them. Not the board games. Oh my god. Remember 159 00:09:11.840 --> 00:09:15.799 the Conan Unchained module for D and D. No, you don't, 160 00:09:15.799 --> 00:09:18.120 but it was great. He had his own role playing 161 00:09:18.120 --> 00:09:21.840 game in eighty five. No, I'm talking video games, and 162 00:09:21.919 --> 00:09:24.279 there have been a lot if you were unlucky enough 163 00:09:24.279 --> 00:09:26.399 to be a Conan fan. Back in eighty four we 164 00:09:26.480 --> 00:09:29.360 got Conan The Hall of Volta, which was basically a 165 00:09:29.360 --> 00:09:33.440 mashup of Donkey Kong and Jungle Hunt. What a crashing disappointment. 166 00:09:33.600 --> 00:09:35.879 Then I want to say ninety one there was a 167 00:09:35.879 --> 00:09:38.879 top down gauntlet style Conan, which was a little better 168 00:09:38.879 --> 00:09:42.279 because at least the figures resembled humans. Most recently we 169 00:09:42.360 --> 00:09:44.720 had Conan Exiles. There are a lot of proponents for it. 170 00:09:44.799 --> 00:09:47.519 I have still yet to dip my toe because somehow 171 00:09:47.720 --> 00:09:50.519 I'd missed out on the two thousand and seven Xbox 172 00:09:50.600 --> 00:09:53.000 three sixty game simply called Conan. 173 00:09:53.159 --> 00:09:56.399 Mother nature can be brutal when she wants to be. Huh, 174 00:09:56.519 --> 00:09:59.000 I knew a man once who thought he could take 175 00:09:59.039 --> 00:10:03.440 her power use it as his own. Imagine that. Perhaps 176 00:10:03.480 --> 00:10:07.240 tonight I'll tell you a new story, her story of adventure, 177 00:10:07.679 --> 00:10:14.759 dark magic and Conan. Listen, I will tell you a 178 00:10:14.879 --> 00:10:19.879 tale of an age undreamed of, When shining kingdoms lay 179 00:10:19.879 --> 00:10:23.679 spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars. 180 00:10:28.639 --> 00:10:34.759 Hither came Conan, the Simarian, black haired, sullen eyed, sword 181 00:10:34.840 --> 00:10:39.480 in hand, a thief, a weaver, a slayer, to tread 182 00:10:39.559 --> 00:10:43.440 the jeweled thrones of the earth under his sandaled feet. 183 00:10:48.200 --> 00:10:51.879 Conan's lust for adventure in gold led him to Balmoria, 184 00:10:52.200 --> 00:10:56.440 a solitary island lost to the far western sea. He 185 00:10:56.480 --> 00:10:59.639 made his way toward a long forgotten tomb on the 186 00:10:59.720 --> 00:11:02.720 high peak, and there he did. 187 00:11:02.639 --> 00:11:06.240 Back Where in crom have you been all my life? Look? 188 00:11:06.480 --> 00:11:10.240 Conan is Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is Conan. If 189 00:11:10.240 --> 00:11:14.039 you asked anyone to describe Conan, you're getting Arnold. And 190 00:11:14.080 --> 00:11:16.759 that trend continued in that TV show and the remake 191 00:11:16.799 --> 00:11:20.200 with Jason Momoa muscle Bound Conan slashing through the wilderness. 192 00:11:20.440 --> 00:11:23.399 But that's not how he's described, and most of the 193 00:11:23.480 --> 00:11:26.440 early illustrations have a pretty fit looking fella. But the 194 00:11:26.440 --> 00:11:30.679 reason I'm convinced in the character's continued popularity through the sixties, 195 00:11:30.799 --> 00:11:34.120 thus propelling it into the seventies when filmmakers became interested, 196 00:11:34.440 --> 00:11:37.960 were the illustrations done by mister Frank Frizetta. Now, he 197 00:11:38.080 --> 00:11:40.440 is no slunch when it comes to over muscled behemoths, 198 00:11:40.480 --> 00:11:44.279 but his Conan wasn't that. He's the ideal of physical perfection. 199 00:11:44.440 --> 00:11:47.519 But it's all coiled and sleek with a mop of 200 00:11:47.600 --> 00:11:52.080 black hair raining down except for his bangs. Yes, Conan 201 00:11:52.159 --> 00:11:55.879 has bangs a proscenium to showcase his ice blue eyes. 202 00:11:56.159 --> 00:11:58.159 It's the best version of the character we're ever going 203 00:11:58.159 --> 00:12:00.639 to get, and it is the model for con in 204 00:12:00.759 --> 00:12:03.799 this game. I'm actually glad I didn't find it earlier. 205 00:12:03.960 --> 00:12:07.399 What a fucking treat to be controlling Frizeta characters in 206 00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:11.600 a Frazetta world, and it's oh so fucking violent. I 207 00:12:11.639 --> 00:12:15.000 found myself doing terrible things. I mean, it's to cannibals 208 00:12:15.039 --> 00:12:17.200 who are trying to eat you and fell beasts from 209 00:12:17.200 --> 00:12:21.039 the Stygian depths, but good lord, the bloodshed and nudity 210 00:12:21.080 --> 00:12:24.559 out of nowhere. Conan is a voiced perfectly by Ron Perlman, 211 00:12:24.559 --> 00:12:27.279 who'd end up being Conan's dad in the Momoa remake. 212 00:12:27.519 --> 00:12:30.399 I keep trying with that movie. There's just something off. 213 00:12:30.480 --> 00:12:33.399 Tell me what it is. Listeners also in the show notes. Anyway, 214 00:12:33.440 --> 00:12:36.080 The gameplay is basically God of War, which is no 215 00:12:36.159 --> 00:12:38.360 surprise given it came out in two thousand and seven. 216 00:12:38.600 --> 00:12:41.279 But I'll take that engine in that style gameplay if 217 00:12:41.279 --> 00:12:43.639 it means I get to battle alongside the Queen of 218 00:12:43.679 --> 00:12:47.159 the Black Sales. That is another cool aspect. Most Conin 219 00:12:47.200 --> 00:12:50.240 games are original stories. This is a Howard original with 220 00:12:50.279 --> 00:12:53.039 a lot of embellishment, but the embellishment seem mostly drawn 221 00:12:53.080 --> 00:12:55.720 from other Conan tails in the Howard's cycle of books. 222 00:12:56.039 --> 00:12:58.720 There's a little too much simple problem solving and carry 223 00:12:58.720 --> 00:13:01.440 this big rock over the stone alter kind of shit. 224 00:13:01.600 --> 00:13:05.000 But when it's cooking, Oh boy, is that why I've 225 00:13:05.039 --> 00:13:07.559 been exhausted every day at work last week? That's right, 226 00:13:07.919 --> 00:13:10.360 But that's okay because I know what's best in life. 227 00:13:10.440 --> 00:13:13.000 By the way, everyone loves that scene. Everyone repeats that 228 00:13:13.080 --> 00:13:16.240 quote Crossia enemies, blah blah blah. The best part of 229 00:13:16.279 --> 00:13:19.360 that scene is the opening, when Conan's swordmaster is speaking 230 00:13:19.360 --> 00:13:22.200 to another across the table, and he says, my fear 231 00:13:22.240 --> 00:13:25.279 is that my sons will never understand me. And that's it. 232 00:13:25.519 --> 00:13:28.600 That's his only dialogue for the entire film. Where's his movie? 233 00:13:28.720 --> 00:13:32.960 Where's his legacy comic book or anthology novel? Anyway? Conan 234 00:13:33.279 --> 00:13:36.240 Xbox three sixty, two thousand and seven, a video game 235 00:13:36.240 --> 00:13:39.159 from twenty years ago based on a character whose continued 236 00:13:39.200 --> 00:13:41.320 popularity is based on a film from forty years ago, 237 00:13:41.840 --> 00:13:44.440 based on a series of stories from nearly one hundred 238 00:13:44.480 --> 00:13:47.000 years ago. I'm keeping things current here at the roundup, 239 00:13:47.240 --> 00:13:49.519 or you know what, maybe I'm being precient. Oliver Stone's 240 00:13:49.519 --> 00:13:52.919 original draft of Conan the Barbarian, heavily rewritten by Milius, 241 00:13:53.080 --> 00:13:56.440 obviously wasn't set in an age long ago. He had 242 00:13:56.440 --> 00:13:59.240 the High Borean age in the future, after we'd wiped 243 00:13:59.240 --> 00:14:01.919 ourselves out. Who knows, Maybe I'm training to be the 244 00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:05.200 next SUBATAI. We'll see the way things are going. I 245 00:14:05.240 --> 00:14:08.080 wouldn't be surprised. Oh man, do you remember the Cone 246 00:14:08.080 --> 00:14:10.960 of the Barbarians stunt show at Universal Studios? That fucking 247 00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:13.720 big set, that fucking laser tunnel like they had in 248 00:14:13.759 --> 00:14:16.120 one of those Frankie goes to Hollywood relaxed videos. How 249 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:18.559 many videos did you need? Guys? And then at the 250 00:14:18.639 --> 00:14:21.120 end they had a fucking dragon come out. Oh man, 251 00:14:21.159 --> 00:14:23.279 I want to be in that show. Bring it back. 252 00:14:23.600 --> 00:14:24.360 I'll start lifting. 253 00:14:24.440 --> 00:14:24.600 Bro. 254 00:14:25.399 --> 00:14:28.080 No, I won't ever stop talking about Conan the Barbarian 255 00:14:30.639 --> 00:14:39.480 hate it HP, Thank you HP. Are we ever going 256 00:14:39.559 --> 00:14:44.879 to get the monkey cam? Body horror? There's been a resurgence? 257 00:14:45.080 --> 00:14:46.080 Was there a resurgence? 258 00:14:46.240 --> 00:14:46.440 No? 259 00:14:46.480 --> 00:14:49.639 There was not Body Horror fans, And I'm addressing you 260 00:14:49.679 --> 00:14:54.279 directly now you have my admiration. Truly, I can't do it. 261 00:14:54.360 --> 00:14:56.559 I mean I have and I will continue to, but 262 00:14:56.919 --> 00:14:59.840 I finally had to accept that body horror just ain't 263 00:14:59.840 --> 00:15:03.039 my but those of you who love it, and those 264 00:15:03.080 --> 00:15:06.360 that do really love it. You are a rare breed, 265 00:15:06.799 --> 00:15:11.799 not satisfied with gulies and ghosties, unimpressed with masked mute slashers. 266 00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:15.240 You scoff at serial killers and frown at folksy horror. 267 00:15:15.360 --> 00:15:18.720 To you, the substance was a sitcom. To you, Cronenberg 268 00:15:18.759 --> 00:15:22.120 at Christmas time is completely natural. You've clearly come to 269 00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:25.279 terms with this meat engine strung on bones, with a 270 00:15:25.320 --> 00:15:28.200 fleshy thinking mass trapped in a cranium that we all 271 00:15:28.200 --> 00:15:32.279 inhabit and may crom bless you. Sorry, it just came out. 272 00:15:32.519 --> 00:15:35.399 How else to describe your gillie in watching said flesh 273 00:15:35.480 --> 00:15:39.159 bubble and ooze and mutate and to drip and bleh. 274 00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:42.159 Boy that I mentioned I'm not a body horror fella. 275 00:15:42.840 --> 00:15:45.279 I also mentioned Cronenberg. He is the patron saint of 276 00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:47.840 body horror, mainly due to the fact that, even though 277 00:15:47.879 --> 00:15:51.159 he was mired in exploitation, he never seemed to stoop 278 00:15:51.240 --> 00:15:53.919 to it. Even something as rabbit as rabbit has an 279 00:15:53.960 --> 00:15:56.840 air of respectability to it, so when he started forcing 280 00:15:56.879 --> 00:15:59.919 audiences to stare at the terror contained within the human body, 281 00:16:00.159 --> 00:16:02.279 it was a bit easier to take than something like 282 00:16:02.399 --> 00:16:06.320 Parasite three D or The Incredible Melting Man. I go 283 00:16:06.399 --> 00:16:09.279 so far as to say Cronenberg legitimized the genre when 284 00:16:09.279 --> 00:16:12.519 he completely mutated Jeff Goldblum into a no longer human 285 00:16:12.600 --> 00:16:16.600 monstrosity in The Fly Is the Thing a body horror movie? 286 00:16:16.759 --> 00:16:20.720 It's gotta be well. I guess that makes John Carpenter 287 00:16:20.799 --> 00:16:23.639 the king of body horror. Sorry, Dave, you know I 288 00:16:23.679 --> 00:16:27.399 attended the premiere of Dead Ringers, Cronenberg's twin Surgeon Body 289 00:16:27.399 --> 00:16:31.440 horror film with Jeremy Irons and Genevieve Bougoux. This is 290 00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:34.840 nineteen eighty eight, So I'm fifteen and Cronenberg is in 291 00:16:34.840 --> 00:16:37.320 the lobby talking to someone. So I stand a few 292 00:16:37.320 --> 00:16:40.159 feet off, waiting for an opportunity to say something fumbling 293 00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:43.639 and awkward, And as the conversant finally leaves, I step 294 00:16:43.679 --> 00:16:46.440 into say hello, and his wife swoops in, looking straight 295 00:16:46.480 --> 00:16:49.519 at me and says to him me, we have to go. 296 00:16:49.960 --> 00:16:53.559 And Cronenberg looks at me for way too long and 297 00:16:53.679 --> 00:16:57.399 then turns and walks off, not a word, not even 298 00:16:57.440 --> 00:16:59.960 a what are you gonna do? Shrug? Like I wasn't 299 00:17:00.080 --> 00:17:04.079 even there. So love you, Dave, Fuck you, Dave. John 300 00:17:04.079 --> 00:17:06.880 Carpenter is the king of body Horror. Where am I 301 00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:09.480 going with this? Can I bring it all together? Yes? 302 00:17:09.599 --> 00:17:13.240 I just did. Segs are my speciality. I saw the 303 00:17:13.279 --> 00:17:16.359 new Body Horror film together. Anyone order a trailer? 304 00:17:21.640 --> 00:17:22.240 I love you? 305 00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:35.519 Okay? What's going on? I don't know? 306 00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:38.759 Since the move, Tim and I haven't been on the 307 00:17:38.759 --> 00:17:41.559 same page. Please? 308 00:17:42.599 --> 00:17:50.000 Do you love each other? Maybe we're just complacent, imaginable? 309 00:17:52.480 --> 00:18:00.400 I think, well, you know, complacency sometimes since we be 310 00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:13.000 happy to give harmony, you know, This could be the 311 00:18:13.079 --> 00:18:17.480 beginning roll over that you're a mayor of something wonderful. 312 00:18:21.519 --> 00:18:24.960 We spend our lives in search of the other half. 313 00:18:26.000 --> 00:18:27.319 If you think you found. 314 00:18:27.000 --> 00:18:30.200 That, don't be so quick to let it go. 315 00:18:33.720 --> 00:18:42.559 I think something's happening to us. We've got to get 316 00:18:42.599 --> 00:18:43.319 out of here. 317 00:18:48.599 --> 00:18:48.839 Now. 318 00:19:00.160 --> 00:19:10.160 It's gonna be okay, okay, Elly, why God, he'p yourk 319 00:19:17.640 --> 00:19:33.279 whiskey for the pain boy. 320 00:19:33.319 --> 00:19:35.680 Any chance to hear the Turtles song Happy Together is 321 00:19:35.720 --> 00:19:39.680 a good one. And that's any cover including that one now. 322 00:19:39.839 --> 00:19:42.440 That does not mean send me terrible covers of the 323 00:19:42.440 --> 00:19:46.279 Turtles Happy Together, you fiends, I love that song. Well, 324 00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:49.799 Michael Shanks, that's a name we're going to be hearing 325 00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:52.839 a lot. I suspect he is the writer director of 326 00:19:52.960 --> 00:19:55.880 Together Now. He'd done some shorts and some television work 327 00:19:55.920 --> 00:19:59.839 in Australia, so this is his debut. Fuck you, Michael Shanks. 328 00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:04.680 So much goddamn talent, so much assurance. In previous episodes, 329 00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:08.039 I've mentioned the unwarranted hate of Wes Anderson's productions, because 330 00:20:08.160 --> 00:20:11.279 whatever the content, they're an assured style and that's what 331 00:20:11.279 --> 00:20:13.799 we've been getting lately. Not as mannered as Wes Anderson 332 00:20:13.839 --> 00:20:17.039 of course, but as meticulous and considered Talk to Me 333 00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:19.160 was a fucking home run. If you haven't seen that, 334 00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:24.079 go watch it right now, Barbarian again, go watch here Tic, 335 00:20:24.359 --> 00:20:27.079 stop the show and go watch Though this isn't the 336 00:20:27.079 --> 00:20:29.519 first time we've talked about that Hugh Grant and Sophie 337 00:20:29.559 --> 00:20:33.480 Thatcher shocker. Anyway, Shank demonstrates such a seasoned vision for 338 00:20:33.519 --> 00:20:35.279 the film that I wouldn't be shocked to know it 339 00:20:35.319 --> 00:20:38.200 was his tenth feature and not his first. Style goes 340 00:20:38.200 --> 00:20:39.960 a long way in telling a story, and he's got 341 00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:43.920 that down as well as the storytelling chops. The film 342 00:20:43.960 --> 00:20:47.519 stars real life couple Alison Brie and Dave Franco. I 343 00:20:47.640 --> 00:20:51.200 love Alison Brie unabashedly. She's one of those performers who 344 00:20:51.240 --> 00:20:52.759 is so good in a rolled that the first time 345 00:20:52.759 --> 00:20:55.279 you see them, you assume that is them. Such was 346 00:20:55.359 --> 00:20:57.880 Alison Bree when I first saw her as Trudy Campbell 347 00:20:57.920 --> 00:21:00.799 on mad Men, and actually we all seem pretty close 348 00:21:00.839 --> 00:21:03.279 to that character and enthusiasm. But she followed that up 349 00:21:03.279 --> 00:21:05.839 with a mousey turn in Community and from there it's 350 00:21:05.839 --> 00:21:09.000 been as varied and as interesting as any actor currently working. 351 00:21:09.240 --> 00:21:12.720 And yes, she's fucking adorable, an Elfin Brunette with blue eyes. 352 00:21:13.039 --> 00:21:15.559 She could be a Frizetta drawing. Actually, oh my god, 353 00:21:15.640 --> 00:21:18.480 somebody make an Alison Brie painting in the style of Frizetta. 354 00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:21.440 Speaking of they're making that Masters of the Universe flick 355 00:21:21.519 --> 00:21:26.799 right now. She's playing Evil Lynn. They already have my money. 356 00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:30.160 As I always felt bad for Dave Franco starting a 357 00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:32.599 career in the shadow of the tornado of talent and 358 00:21:32.680 --> 00:21:36.200 creepitude that is his brother James, but he's always delivered 359 00:21:36.279 --> 00:21:40.319 solid comedic performances. Did I say unabashedly earlier? That's also 360 00:21:40.440 --> 00:21:43.079 my love for his flick twenty one Jump Street. I 361 00:21:43.079 --> 00:21:45.599 could watch that movie on a loop and I have 362 00:21:46.119 --> 00:21:49.720 unabashed I say, he's really good in that film, subtle 363 00:21:49.799 --> 00:21:54.960 in an incredibly unsubtle environment. And since then it's been James. 364 00:21:55.079 --> 00:21:58.240 Oh yeah, he's Dave Franco's brother, and fucking good for him, man, 365 00:21:58.400 --> 00:22:00.680 because he and Alison Brie are not only the stars 366 00:22:00.680 --> 00:22:03.359 but the producers of this film. So if his instincts 367 00:22:03.359 --> 00:22:06.599 are leading him here like Shankman, I'm really curious to 368 00:22:06.599 --> 00:22:08.960 see what he does in the future. They're both great here, 369 00:22:08.960 --> 00:22:12.000 by the way, no surprise though, I was wildly impressed 370 00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:16.519 with Alison Breeze flexibility. Jesus she needs no special effects. 371 00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:19.839 They play Tim and Milly, a mid thirties couple who've 372 00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:22.480 decided to say goodbye to their Manhattan life and settle 373 00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:24.680 in the country, where Milli has been hired as a 374 00:22:24.720 --> 00:22:28.240 teacher in the tiny towns even smaller school. I say 375 00:22:28.279 --> 00:22:31.240 they've decided, but really Milly has decided. Tim is a 376 00:22:31.319 --> 00:22:33.440 musician who was once on a label but has fallen 377 00:22:33.480 --> 00:22:36.319 off and now basically attends to Milly while still clinging 378 00:22:36.359 --> 00:22:38.920 to the hope of music stardom. Once they've settled in 379 00:22:39.000 --> 00:22:42.519 their very rural home, the house is surrounded by woods, 380 00:22:42.839 --> 00:22:46.359 not a forest. Woods man deep and dark, and don't 381 00:22:46.359 --> 00:22:48.920 go out there after nightfall. On a hike intended to 382 00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:52.160 rekindle their fallow relationship, they fall into a cave where 383 00:22:52.279 --> 00:22:55.160 all sorts of terrifying shit occurs and gets the plot 384 00:22:55.200 --> 00:22:57.680 in motion. I'd say the mcguffin driving the movie is 385 00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:01.480 ultimately unnecessary, but Shane manages a pretty nifty trick In 386 00:23:01.519 --> 00:23:05.920 each of those sequences. He suffuses his jump scares with dread. 387 00:23:06.119 --> 00:23:08.400 He does it a lot. They're not telegraphed and they 388 00:23:08.440 --> 00:23:10.599 don't feel like a cheat. And if this man ever 389 00:23:10.640 --> 00:23:14.359 makes a movie about nightmares, we are all doomed. Scary 390 00:23:14.440 --> 00:23:18.480 fucking imagery in this flick, brav fucking' oh man. Body 391 00:23:18.480 --> 00:23:21.240 horror has taken many forms and themes over the years. 392 00:23:21.319 --> 00:23:27.799 Hey is the wolfman body horror? American werewolf in London says, yes, 393 00:23:28.079 --> 00:23:30.240 get me, Paul Waller, We've got a new angle on. 394 00:23:30.519 --> 00:23:33.480 Little old lady got mutilated late last night? Can you 395 00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:36.240 tell I love saying? Body horror at its core is 396 00:23:36.359 --> 00:23:40.440 fear of transformation that has manifested as parables, of sex, 397 00:23:40.599 --> 00:23:46.000 of mutation, of addiction, of self loathing, but codependency. Way 398 00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:48.759 to surf the zeitgeist, motherfucker, and what better way to 399 00:23:48.799 --> 00:23:51.160 do it than with an actual married couple just an 400 00:23:51.160 --> 00:23:54.319 extra side of fucked up coleslaw. Melli and Tim start 401 00:23:54.319 --> 00:23:58.640