WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome everyone to another edition of The Fall Count. I

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<v Speaker 1>am your host, Steve fall And if you tuned in

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<v Speaker 1>today expecting to hear about five star classics, amazing wrestling,

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<v Speaker 1>or even the best years of the business, well I

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<v Speaker 1>am sorry to let you down, because today we're hopping

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<v Speaker 1>into our wrestling time machine and going straight back to

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<v Speaker 1>the first episode of Monday Night Raw in nineteen ninety six.

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<v Speaker 1>So happy New Year from World Wrestling Federation. Right wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>This was the time when Vince McMahon was looking down

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<v Speaker 1>the barrel of a multi million dollar rival down in

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<v Speaker 1>the South WCW. His big creative answer was to give

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<v Speaker 1>us some of the most confusing, painful, and downright embarrassing

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<v Speaker 1>theme TV in the history of Monday Night Raw. Today

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<v Speaker 1>we are breaking down an episode that time for good,

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<v Speaker 1>or rather an episode that wrestling fans try to wipe

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<v Speaker 1>from their brains. Ladies and gentlemen, Today we are talking

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<v Speaker 1>about the raw Ball. Now. Vince McMahon loved a gimmick.

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<v Speaker 1>He loved copying big pulp culture events, and since the

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<v Speaker 1>NFL's Super Bowl was right around the corner, Vince decided, Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>why don't we turn our biggest show into our football

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<v Speaker 1>game goodshit. He called it the Stepdaddy of the mac

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<v Speaker 1>Daddy of the Mall, and it was taped in Delaware,

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<v Speaker 1>of all exciting places, no offense to the Delaware audience

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<v Speaker 1>out there, and hosts for the night were a hyper

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<v Speaker 1>Vince McMahon and a completely bored Jerry the King Lawler.

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<v Speaker 1>Before so we get into the ring, let's talk about

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<v Speaker 1>how this show looked, because the visual alone tells you

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<v Speaker 1>everything you need to know about the WWF in nineteen

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<v Speaker 1>ninety six. Now Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler are wearing

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<v Speaker 1>full football jerseys. They spent a whole hour planning out

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<v Speaker 1>terrible football puns. I love it though, I do love it.

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<v Speaker 1>Every single sentence out of Vince's mouth is a weird

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<v Speaker 1>joke about first downs, the gridiron or trick plays. Then

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<v Speaker 1>you have the storylines happening in the background. Gold Dust,

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<v Speaker 1>who was a brand new, highly controversial character at this time,

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<v Speaker 1>is trying to play mind games with Razor Ramone. He

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<v Speaker 1>sends an usher down to ringside to give Razor a

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<v Speaker 1>nice bunch of flowers. How does Razor handle it? To

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<v Speaker 1>show off how tough and manly he is, he beats

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<v Speaker 1>up that poor damn usher beats the hell out of

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<v Speaker 1>him and then smashes the flowers to pieces. Now you'd

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<v Speaker 1>think a guy with that much tough guy energy would

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<v Speaker 1>be a little more secured himself, but hey, it is

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<v Speaker 1>the nineties. But the main part of this episode, the

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<v Speaker 1>thing that took up nearly half of the entire show,

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<v Speaker 1>was the actual raw ball elimination match. Four teams. We

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<v Speaker 1>got the smoking Guns, Savio Vaga teaming up with a

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<v Speaker 1>Razor Ramone, Psycho Said teaming up with a one two

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<v Speaker 1>three kid, and All in Heart with Yokozuna. The rules

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<v Speaker 1>were a total mess. It was elimination style, but with

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<v Speaker 1>the tweets, each team got one a fish shall time

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<v Speaker 1>out that could call at any point during the match.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a train wreck from the word go. So

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<v Speaker 1>let's get into this beautiful disaster, all right. So this

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<v Speaker 1>four way elimination match gets underway, and right away the

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<v Speaker 1>football gimmick ruins the actual logic of the match. Early on,

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<v Speaker 1>Owenhart is doing what Owenhart does, stalling and pulling cheap

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<v Speaker 1>bad guy tricks. Referee Earl Hebner actually reaches into his

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<v Speaker 1>pocket and threatens to throw a delay of game flag

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<v Speaker 1>on Owen, I am not making this up. The match

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<v Speaker 1>drags on, We've got random tags leg Larry, It's flying everywhere,

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<v Speaker 1>and the commentary team is completely ignoring the action to

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<v Speaker 1>make terrible football jokes to make matters worse. Throughout the

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<v Speaker 1>entire match, this show keeps cutting backstage to the dressing

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<v Speaker 1>room where Brother Love is screaming and preaching about love

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<v Speaker 1>to a completely empty room. No one is there. It's

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<v Speaker 1>just a useless noise filling up space because the action

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<v Speaker 1>in the ring is going absolutely no nowhere. Now I

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<v Speaker 1>get it. They were trying to have an inspirational speech

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<v Speaker 1>about love in God, but they didn't want to say God,

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<v Speaker 1>so they said love and said I get it. But

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<v Speaker 1>Brother Love nineteen ninety six. No one's thinking we need

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<v Speaker 1>him at this point. Finally, though, we get to the

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<v Speaker 1>first big moment that actually matters, the first elimination. Razor

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<v Speaker 1>Ramone gets a hot tag, enters the ring and starts

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<v Speaker 1>running wild on the one two three kid. The kid

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<v Speaker 1>is getting desperate and destroyed, so what does he do.

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<v Speaker 1>He uses the match gimmick. He calls an official timeout. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>in a normal world, a timeout means the action stops.

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<v Speaker 1>Earl Hebner stepsid and forces Razor mode to stop beating

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<v Speaker 1>down the kid, but because this is nineteen ninety six,

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<v Speaker 1>WWF rules don't actually matter. While Hebner is distracted trying

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<v Speaker 1>to yell at Ted Dibiaski on the outside, Razor decides

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<v Speaker 1>to screw the timeout and hit the one two three

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<v Speaker 1>kid with a massive razor's edge. Anyways, but the bad

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<v Speaker 1>guy has karma. Psycho sid In blindsides the razor with

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<v Speaker 1>a hard clothesline, drags the half dead one two three

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<v Speaker 1>kid onto razors knocked out body, and the referee counts

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<v Speaker 1>the pinfall. Just like that, the most exciting team is

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<v Speaker 1>eliminated and their wrestling football jerseys will have to be retired.

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<v Speaker 1>This evening, Razor and Sabia Vaga are out, and it

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<v Speaker 1>leaves you with asking the obvious questions, why on God's

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<v Speaker 1>Earth was there a timeout? But yet the action is continuing,

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<v Speaker 1>so we're not fulfilling the gimmick. The kid called the timeout,

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<v Speaker 1>the good guy ignored the timeout, the bad guy cheated

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<v Speaker 1>during the timeout, and the raft counted the pin during

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<v Speaker 1>the timeout. It was completely backwards storytelling that helped absolutely nobody.

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<v Speaker 1>But we go to a commercial break When we come back,

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<v Speaker 1>the match slows down to a crawl. It's Bart Gunn

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<v Speaker 1>getting beaten down by the bad guys Owen. Hart is

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<v Speaker 1>hitting shoulder blocks, flying souplexes, controlling the pace. Eventually, though,

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<v Speaker 1>Owen decides to take a big risk. He goes up

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<v Speaker 1>to the top rope, jumps off for a flying splash,

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<v Speaker 1>but nobody is there. He hits the canvas hard. This

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<v Speaker 1>leads to one of the most idiotic messed up finishes

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<v Speaker 1>you'll ever hear about. Now, while the referee is completely

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<v Speaker 1>distracted by something on the apron, the massive four hundred

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<v Speaker 1>pounds Yoko Zuda climbs the ropes, hits the bond's eye drop.

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<v Speaker 1>Billy Gunn moves though somehow though Owen ends up rolling

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<v Speaker 1>right underneath his own partner. Yoko Zuna comes crashing down

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<v Speaker 1>with all his weight onto his own teammate. Billy Gunn

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<v Speaker 1>simply puts a hand over Owen and the referee counts

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<v Speaker 1>to three. Now Owen and Yoko are out ouch. So

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<v Speaker 1>now we go down to the final two team Psycho

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<v Speaker 1>Sid in the one two three Kid versus the Smoking Guns.

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<v Speaker 1>Now Sid takes control using his usual offense, which is

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<v Speaker 1>Let's be honest, lots of punches. Sid hits a chunk

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<v Speaker 1>slam on Billy Gun and the match is over. All

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<v Speaker 1>Sid had to do was lay his massive body over

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<v Speaker 1>Billy Gun and take the win. But instead of covering him,

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<v Speaker 1>Sid gets cocky. He decides to send the end the

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<v Speaker 1>one two three kid to the top rope to hit

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<v Speaker 1>a flashy move off bad move though out from back

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<v Speaker 1>comes a mad Razor amone. Remember Razor was screwed over

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<v Speaker 1>during the time out earlier, so he's he eliminated. Who knows?

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<v Speaker 1>Razor runs down the aisle, storms the ring, shoves the

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<v Speaker 1>one two three kid right off the top rope. The

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<v Speaker 1>distraction completely confuses the big guy. Billy Gun takes advantage,

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<v Speaker 1>rolls up a confused Sid, and the referee counts to three.

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<v Speaker 1>The Smoking Guns win the highly prized robble now over.

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<v Speaker 1>On the other channel the exact same night, WCW Nitro

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<v Speaker 1>was on the air. Eric Bischoff looked down Ranto the

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<v Speaker 1>camera and called the rabble the toilet bowl, and folks,

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<v Speaker 1>perhaps he wasn't lying. It wasn't a complete piece of garbage,

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<v Speaker 1>but there was garbage. It had no energy, It dragged

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<v Speaker 1>on forever. The rules were stupid, and the finishes made

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<v Speaker 1>everything look idiotic. Though I did like the theme part.

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<v Speaker 1>I liked how the wrestlers came through a giant raw

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<v Speaker 1>bull signed like football players. I enjoyed the jerseys. I

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<v Speaker 1>did enjoy the football puns. But if you're looking at

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<v Speaker 1>this with my eyeballs in today's world, yuck. If I

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<v Speaker 1>look at it in nineteen ninety six, when I was eleven,

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<v Speaker 1>I loved it. Loved it now. I haven't even mentioned, though,

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<v Speaker 1>some of the worst parts of this. Throughout this whole

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<v Speaker 1>twenty minute match, Jerry Lawler completely ignored the wrestling because

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<v Speaker 1>he was too busy hitting on a Raw magazine model

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<v Speaker 1>who was sitting at the broadcast table. Her entire job

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<v Speaker 1>for the night consisted of staring blankly into space, occasionally

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<v Speaker 1>whispering this is wild into her microphone. Truly a high

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<v Speaker 1>point of the broadcast. But if you thought the football

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<v Speaker 1>theme ended the match right here and then you're wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>Next up, Vince McMahon treats us to the official Raw

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<v Speaker 1>Ball halftime show. Is it gonna be SEZ ninety six?

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<v Speaker 1>We got we have Michael Jackson singing Tina Turner. Nope,

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<v Speaker 1>we cut backstage to Doc Hendricks drank way too many

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<v Speaker 1>energies and he's trying to bring a maximum hype to

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<v Speaker 1>this segment. Doc tries to throw the show over to

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<v Speaker 1>Jumbo Jumbo Jim Ross for a live report. Now, Jim

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<v Speaker 1>Ross is a huge football fan. He loves a sport,

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<v Speaker 1>but when the camera cuts the good old Jr. He

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<v Speaker 1>looks and sounds like a man who wants absolutely zero

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<v Speaker 1>part of this circus. He gives the most bored, flat

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<v Speaker 1>delivery possible, completely killing Doc's energy. You could practically hear

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<v Speaker 1>Jim Ross updating his resume in his head while the

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<v Speaker 1>cameras were rolling and speaking of things that people wanted

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<v Speaker 1>zero part of. Vince McMahon decides that the best way

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<v Speaker 1>to kick off the new year on the Biggest TV

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<v Speaker 1>Show is to take us back to the previous month's

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<v Speaker 1>pay per view in Your House five. Specifically, he decides

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<v Speaker 1>to the infamous hog pen match between Hunter Hurst, Hemley Hemsley,

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<v Speaker 1>Triple Ah and Henry O. Godwin. Think about the business

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<v Speaker 1>logic here for a second Okay pay per view companies

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<v Speaker 1>charged fans hard earned money to watch this match just

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<v Speaker 1>a few weeks ago, and Vince's brilliant plan to show

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<v Speaker 1>the entire thing on free TV right afterward. I'm sure

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<v Speaker 1>the pay per review bosses were absolutely thrilled with that choice.

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<v Speaker 1>The match featured Hillbilly Jim as a special guest referee,

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<v Speaker 1>because if there was one thing Vince McMahon loved more

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<v Speaker 1>than bad football funds, it was Hillbilly's. Then. The goal

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<v Speaker 1>of the hog pen match is very simple. You have

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<v Speaker 1>to physically throw your opponent inside a mud, poopy filled,

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<v Speaker 1>dirty pig pen that was built all the way across

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<v Speaker 1>the arena entrance ramp to ring. But for some weird reason,

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<v Speaker 1>the match actually starts inside the ring. Now, let's skip

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<v Speaker 1>right to the finish of this masterpiece. After fighting back

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<v Speaker 1>and forth from the ring to the stadium floor, they

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<v Speaker 1>finally end up back where the hog pen is. Henry

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<v Speaker 1>oh Godwin, which I love that name, Henry Oh Godwin

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<v Speaker 1>h O g ha, it's hog you got it. Henry

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<v Speaker 1>Godwin hits his finisher, the slop drop, flattening the high

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<v Speaker 1>class Hunter Hurst Hemsley on the floor. Henry thinks he

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<v Speaker 1>has the match completely won. He runs hard at Hunter,

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<v Speaker 1>looking to throw him into the filth, but Hunter uses

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<v Speaker 1>Henry's own speed against him. Hunter docks steps aside in

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<v Speaker 1>demps Henry headfirst straight into the hogpen. Now, during this matchup,

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<v Speaker 1>Hemsley was slammed into the hogpen, cunning his back and

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<v Speaker 1>now he has an open wound and pig poop and

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<v Speaker 1>mud are going inside of his body. Now here is

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<v Speaker 1>a funny bit of wrestling trivia for you. The original

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<v Speaker 1>pay per view match only ran for about nine minutes,

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<v Speaker 1>but because the WWF editors chopped that match up with

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<v Speaker 1>a massive amount of commercial breaks for its TV reair,

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<v Speaker 1>they somehow stretched the match out to nearly twelve minutes.

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<v Speaker 1>And let me tell you, adding those commercial breaks made

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<v Speaker 1>an already bad match worse, but it completely filled up

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<v Speaker 1>the time on TV. But hey, the highlight package wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>a total waste. Now, during the commercial breaks of this rebroadcast,

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<v Speaker 1>the wwfails got to see historic early footage. We got

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<v Speaker 1>the very first glimpses of the Huckster in the not

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<v Speaker 1>cho Man. These were the infamous, pretty bad, poorly put

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<v Speaker 1>together parody skits that Vince McMahon made to make fun

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<v Speaker 1>of Hulk Coogan and Randy Savage for leaving his company

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<v Speaker 1>for WCW. At this point in the show, though they

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<v Speaker 1>hadn't even officially introduced these characters, yet we were seeing

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<v Speaker 1>them for the first time during this commercial breaks of

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<v Speaker 1>a hog Pen match. Now, as the segment wraps up,

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<v Speaker 1>Vince McMahon hypes up that next week's episode of Monday

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<v Speaker 1>Night Raw, proudly announcing that they are going to give

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<v Speaker 1>away another big pay per i view match for free.

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<v Speaker 1>You're gonna actually get to see Brett Hart first the

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<v Speaker 1>British Bulldog for the WWF Championship on TV. My parents

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<v Speaker 1>pay this bill for me in December of ninety five

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<v Speaker 1>to watch this pay per view match. Now, if you

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<v Speaker 1>watch it a RAW, I get to see for free.

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<v Speaker 1>Plus Jeff Jarrett will take on Hakushi in a live

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<v Speaker 1>press conference with Shawn Michaels. Now, Vince was losing viewers

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<v Speaker 1>to WSW and you could feel the desperation as he

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<v Speaker 1>tried to throw everything at the wall giving away pay

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<v Speaker 1>per view matches. I cannot imagine the WWF or the

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<v Speaker 1>pay perview companies being happy about that. Now, moving on

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<v Speaker 1>to the next part of the show, we finally get

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<v Speaker 1>something short sweet. We get Diesel versus King Mabel, a

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<v Speaker 1>rematch from Summer Slam nineteen ninety five, as the main event.

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<v Speaker 1>Now you're getting it. It's just a regular match on Raw.

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<v Speaker 1>Before the match even begins, though, there is a historical

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<v Speaker 1>nugget buried in the entrance that perfectly shows the brutal

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<v Speaker 1>reality of working in wrestling business back then. Now, King

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<v Speaker 1>Mabel makes his grid entrance sitting on top of a massive,

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<v Speaker 1>heavy royal throne. And guess who one of the poor

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<v Speaker 1>unnamed extras tasks with carrying that heavy throne on his shoulder.

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<v Speaker 1>Was a very young, skinny Jeff Hardy. You actually can

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<v Speaker 1>see Jeff Hardy on the screen visibly hurting his back

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<v Speaker 1>compressing under the sheer weight of King Mabel. And it's

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<v Speaker 1>no wonder that the poor guy ended up needing pay

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<v Speaker 1>medicine later on in his life to fix that broken

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<v Speaker 1>back from carrying Mabel all the way to the ring. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>the match itself, thank god, it was short. Remember anything

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<v Speaker 1>about SummerSlam ninety five That match went three seconds too long.

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<v Speaker 1>Diesel doesn't play around the bell rings. Diesel hits King

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<v Speaker 1>Mabel with one massive big boot, pins him and gets

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<v Speaker 1>the win in exactly ten seconds. Hallelujah, where's brother love

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<v Speaker 1>to celebrate this ten seconds? It was a ten seconds

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<v Speaker 1>can you believe it? Ten seconds? The main event Summers

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<v Speaker 1>ninety five? Ten seconds now who in for good measure.

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<v Speaker 1>After the match is over, Mabel's partner Sirmo tries to

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<v Speaker 1>get some revenge, but Diesel catches him and destroys him

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<v Speaker 1>with a massive jack knife power bomb. Then we get

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<v Speaker 1>to Diesel's new character direction. Vince McMahon was trying to

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<v Speaker 1>turn Diesel into this cool anti hero rebel badass, very

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<v Speaker 1>similar to what Stone col C of Austin would perfect

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<v Speaker 1>a year later. But Vince's idea of showing that you

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<v Speaker 1>were a rebel was forcing the audience to buy merchandise

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<v Speaker 1>for a man who's seem to be doing poor and

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<v Speaker 1>evil things. Vince mcmahondough announces that if you are a

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<v Speaker 1>true fan of Diesel, you have to go out and

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<v Speaker 1>buy official w WF branded black Diesel leather gloves to

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<v Speaker 1>show your support. Nothing says I'm a rebel against a

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<v Speaker 1>system quite like buying official corporate merchandise. Am I right?

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<v Speaker 1>And of course the football theme keeps on giving folks

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<v Speaker 1>because next up is the official Lombardi Trophy presentation. Only,

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<v Speaker 1>because this is WWF, it's not the real football trophy

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<v Speaker 1>it's the Steve Lombardi Trophy, presented none other than the

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<v Speaker 1>legendary Brooklyn Brawler himself, Steve Lombardy. I love it so much.

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<v Speaker 1>The trophy itself was a cheap plastic bowling trophy with

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<v Speaker 1>a cardboard cutout of Steve Lombardi's face tape to the

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<v Speaker 1>top of it. This was the big creative payoff to

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<v Speaker 1>twenty minutes of football puns, football related matches, timeounts flags.

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<v Speaker 1>The good guys naturally storm the ring and smash the

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<v Speaker 1>cheap trophy to pieces in dump cans of Lipton wrist

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<v Speaker 1>iced tea all over Steve Lombardi. To wrap up this

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<v Speaker 1>sports theme nonsense, we get a quick promotional list for

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<v Speaker 1>the upcoming Royal Rumble pay per view. They start listing

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<v Speaker 1>off all the names of the restlers who are officially

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<v Speaker 1>entering the match, and right there, buried in the middle

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<v Speaker 1>of the hype package, we get a massive historic moment,

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<v Speaker 1>the official WWF introduction of Vader. Big Van Vader was

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<v Speaker 1>coming to the World Wrestling Federation, which was a huge

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<v Speaker 1>deal at the time because of his brutal runs in

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<v Speaker 1>WWCW w CW that is in Japan. And speaking of WCW.

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<v Speaker 1>The show closes out with another trip to Billionaire Ted's

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<v Speaker 1>Wrastlin war room. This was the peak of the Monday

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<v Speaker 1>Night Wars propaganda skits. The skits feature the Billionaire Ted

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<v Speaker 1>character sitting around a conference table with two top executives

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<v Speaker 1>watching the tape of the WWF superstars doing high impact

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<v Speaker 1>power bombs. In the skit, the Huckster and the Nachomen

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<v Speaker 1>are terrified of the moves and want absolutely nothing to

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<v Speaker 1>do with taking a power bomb. But hey, they look

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<v Speaker 1>at each other and decide, hey, at least we can

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<v Speaker 1>still do our signature postes. Get a lot of finger poking,

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of hand cup in our ears. Now, looking

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<v Speaker 1>back at this footage, the irony of these skits is

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<v Speaker 1>absolutely off the charts. The whole point of Vince McMahon

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<v Speaker 1>in his parody was to make fun of WCW for

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<v Speaker 1>being an old, outdated wrestling company were the top stars

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<v Speaker 1>did exactly the same moves they did in the eighties.

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<v Speaker 1>But if you look closely at the air quote cutting

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<v Speaker 1>edge product that the WWF was offering on the exact

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<v Speaker 1>episode of Raw, their entire roster's big offense consisted of

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<v Speaker 1>variations of the same exact moves that we were seeing

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<v Speaker 1>in the eighties. It was the pot calling the kettle black,

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<v Speaker 1>and it made no sense. In nineteen ninety six, these

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<v Speaker 1>billionaire ted skits were seen as cheap shots. Now, obviously

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<v Speaker 1>they're harmless through but they're incredibly petty. It wasn't until

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<v Speaker 1>later in the year when these skits started getting deeply

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<v Speaker 1>personal and nasty and targeting real life legal issues. The

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<v Speaker 1>whole creative direction went completely off the rails and turned

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<v Speaker 1>honestly a lot of fans off. As eleven year old kid,

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<v Speaker 1>I thought they were hilarious. When you look at though,

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<v Speaker 1>this entire episode of Raw, it stands as one of

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<v Speaker 1>the absolute worst, most painful episodes of Monday Night Raw. Ever,

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<v Speaker 1>it was creative, but at a low point in the WWF,

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<v Speaker 1>we had terrible puns, bad corporate jokes, making fun of

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<v Speaker 1>the huckster and the nacho man. But hey, this is

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<v Speaker 1>the beauty of the wrestling business, in the wrestling history.

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<v Speaker 1>Sometimes you have to sit through the mud and the

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<v Speaker 1>hog pens to appreciate the gold we got later on,

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<v Speaker 1>Ladies and gentlemen, though, thank you so much for tuning

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<v Speaker 1>in to another episode of a fall count. I've been

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<v Speaker 1>your host, Defaul, make sure to hit that subscribe button,

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<v Speaker 1>leave us a review, and call your local cable providers

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<v Speaker 1>and let them know how angry you are that Monday

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<v Speaker 1>Night Raw in nineteen ninety six was giving away pay

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<v Speaker 1>per view matches that you convinced your parents to purchase

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<v Speaker 1>just two weeks ago. Oh, I love the rabble, but

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<v Speaker 1>until next time, keep your shoulders off the mat and

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<v Speaker 1>we will see you next time.