Speaker 1: A Magnificent Montague starring Marty Wally. Yes, it's the Magnificent Montague.
The Saturday Night Transcribe feature on NVC's All Star Festival
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the Magnificent Montagule. Life remains a tragedy for the Magnificent Montague,
this former monarch of the Shakespearean stage, though five times
a week he is uncle good Heart here all of
an afternoon program, still dreams of the return to the
stage of who, in his estimation, is the world's greatest
living actor, Edwin Montague. It is afternoon in the Montague
apartment his wife, Lily and Agnes, the Montague made at home.
The doorbell rings.
Speaker 3: There's someone at the duel.
Speaker 4: I'll get it, honey.
Speaker 3: I think that cute.
Speaker 4: Now mailman coming, dear Hello there, Uh it's Western Union.
Speaker 2: What is it?
Speaker 5: Are you?
Speaker 2: Sam Harrison.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna kill that barber for talking to me into
this haircut, he said, I looked like Mary Martin. I
came out looking like Martin Kane.
Speaker 6: The Harrisons across the hall are not home. We'll take
the telegram and give it to them later.
Speaker 7: Saign, you there, or.
Speaker 6: Agnes, seaman you darling up for the mailman making eyes
of the Western Union man.
Speaker 4: I know, honey, but I'm trapped in this apartment. The
only man I ever see it is that husband of yours.
After him? Anything looks good?
Speaker 3: Oh no, Agnes, Edwin is considered very handsome. If you
like Hedgehogs.
Speaker 6: Well, if there's one thing I won't tolerate, even from you,
it's jokes about Edwin's being Okay, okay, wouldn't say things
like that to his face?
Speaker 3: His face?
Speaker 4: Who can find it?
Speaker 3: Stop the wait? Wait? I think I hear Sam and
Martha Harrison coming home. We have a telegram for them.
Speaker 6: I'll call him, Damn Matha, Oh hello, come in, Sam,
Hello Martha?
Speaker 2: Oh how do you do? Missus Montague?
Speaker 3: We called you in because we have a telegram for you.
It was delivered to us a telegram. Here.
Speaker 5: It is by jul I hate to get telegrams. Frankness
me to death. Here, Martha, will you open it and
read it?
Speaker 8: Yes?
Speaker 2: Well, Martha?
Speaker 8: Yees?
Speaker 5: Is it from your sister Emily. Yes, she's having another baby. Yes,
oh no, and she wants us to come to Saint
Louis right away. Yes, I must say, Martha, my love.
You read that telegram beautifully, Sam?
Speaker 6: Does that mean you and Martha are off to Saint
Louis immediately?
Speaker 5: That Emily doesn't get around when you get her telegram,
that means so os. It's later than you think. Well, Martha,
Well what is it?
Speaker 3: Sam?
Speaker 5: What are we going to do with our daughter Gwendolen
this year?
Speaker 3: Don't you take Gwendolin along on the trip?
Speaker 2: Not since she outgrew the half fair ticket?
Speaker 3: Oh my god? Well how long are you going to
be gone?
Speaker 2: Only a week?
Speaker 3: Well then why don't you leave Gwendolen with us?
Speaker 5: Well, that's terribly kind of you, missus montagube, if it's
all right with you, and we'll bring Gwendolen in just
before we go.
Speaker 3: You're coming, Martha, Agnes, Agnes, get ready for a guest.
Speaker 9: What's up?
Speaker 3: Honey?
Speaker 6: The Harrisons are going to Saint Louis and I've asked
them to leave their daughter Gwendolen with us for a week.
Speaker 3: Hi?
Speaker 10: Are you nuts?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 4: Have you slept your trialing. Listened, your cat, you're bringing
a child to live for a week in the same
house with Moncue.
Speaker 6: You'll see, Agnes, Edwin and Gwendolen will become real pal.
Speaker 4: Like great an Alley. Money for a week with that monster.
Give the kid a fighting chance.
Speaker 6: Stop exaggerating. Think of it, Agnes, a little child living
with us. She'll bring her youth into our apartment and
she'll leave it there. You can let me handle it, Agnes.
It won't come as a shock to him. I'll explain gradually.
Oh that must be Gwendolene.
Speaker 4: I'll let her in.
Speaker 3: I'll start getting her room ready.
Speaker 4: A little darling.
Speaker 9: Coming, Swatie, come right in.
Speaker 2: Sugar Plum ups, Why Agnes, I didn't know you cared.
Speaker 4: Now it's you.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 2: Sugar plum Bunny in the raw.
Speaker 3: Oh oh, it's you, Edwin.
Speaker 2: Who are you expecting? Jackie Coogan.
Speaker 3: Or now Edwin?
Speaker 10: What's going on here? I just called the sugar plum.
Now you coming with Bunny? Have you any other names
for me?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: But let's keep it clean.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 6: Listen, Edwin, Sam and Martha Harris are leaving for Saint
Louis for one week.
Speaker 2: The Harrison's gone for a week.
Speaker 10: Hey, let me go on their little daughter, Gwendow Gwendolyn.
Would that noise make her away for a week? This
will be an isle of paradise, Edward.
Speaker 3: Gwendolen is a very quiet child. You never hear a
word out of her.
Speaker 10: Now who could hear anything out of her over the
roar of her eternal roller skates?
Speaker 3: And when you have to change your attitude to our children,
they have a right to live.
Speaker 2: Why, lily, children are a menace to civilization.
Speaker 10: Look what they're responsible for, measles, chicken pox, lumps.
Speaker 3: And looking.
Speaker 11: Ed when you were a child yourself once, that's a
dirty thing say about anybody, Hollay, they're dreadful little creature.
Speaker 8: I don't want to hear any more about children.
Speaker 3: Oh that's Sam Harrison to say goodbye.
Speaker 2: To say goodbye. Well, let's not keep you here a
minute longer than this. Say come in hello, mister, goodbye Sam.
Speaker 5: Well, here's Gwendolyn.
Speaker 2: Goodbye, Gwendolyn, goodbye.
Speaker 3: Well I thought Sam, you go ahead, I'll explain.
Speaker 2: Goodbye, Edwin.
Speaker 3: I've been trying to tell you what Gwendolen is staying
with us for the week.
Speaker 2: Gwendolen is staying with us.
Speaker 4: Yes, excuse me, I have a thick Newton in the oven.
Speaker 2: I'll let just stay here, Lily, How can you do
this to me?
Speaker 3: You'll be quiet when is staying with us and we're
going to make her happy.
Speaker 10: Hello, Uncle Leddy, Uncle Eddie? All right, gwn Lynn, don't
just stand in the hall, come in, Thank you Uncle Leddy. Gwendolyn, dear,
do you want to take your eskates off? Or do
you want Uncle Eddie to take them off with your
feet still in them?
Speaker 3: Edwin, I won't have you talk that way to this child.
Speaker 12: But Auntie Lily, if my skates annoy Uncle Edwin, I'll
gladly take them.
Speaker 7: All eyes not cute.
Speaker 3: See how sweet he is, Edwin?
Speaker 2: Sweet? How you women could be taken in?
Speaker 12: Geez, Lily, just thank you. I'm living in the same
house with Uncle good Heart Edwin.
Speaker 3: Did you hear she listens to your Uncle good Heart
radio program?
Speaker 1: I heard her.
Speaker 2: I heard her.
Speaker 8: So she listens to that dribble dribble.
Speaker 9: Oh, Uncle Leddy, you have such a beautiful voice.
Speaker 13: Thank you.
Speaker 12: I bet when you acted on the stage you were
really magnificent, just like they.
Speaker 3: Used to call you.
Speaker 10: I left the stage before you were born. How did
you know I was called magnificent Monegule.
Speaker 12: I had to look up your whole career in the library.
When I wrote my composition in school composition, it was called.
Speaker 9: My favorite actor.
Speaker 12: All the other girls picked Van Johnson and Gregory pet
that I picked you.
Speaker 9: Uncle Leddie, Yes.
Speaker 2: Uncle Leddy, here my child. Let me help you take
your skates off.
Speaker 3: Oh and when isn't she wonderful? Egg's going?
Speaker 5: Good?
Speaker 3: Dinner ready?
Speaker 2: What a difference to the house.
Speaker 3: Comment when we have to fix up Gwendolen's room?
Speaker 9: Oh can't I help you?
Speaker 8: Oh no, darling, you're a little princess.
Speaker 2: You must just sip there and look pretty.
Speaker 3: Comment When isn't she divined?
Speaker 8: She's adorable?
Speaker 12: The lady's falling down, falling down, falling down. The residents
of mister and missus Edwin moncue. This is Gwendolen, the
little girl from next door, who's calling.
Speaker 9: Please, missus Schwartz call for the Red Cross.
Speaker 12: You want aunt Lily to be at the meeting of
the Lady Auxiliary tonight. I'm sorry, I don't think Aunt
Lily will be able to be there. She's really in
no condition. You see Uncle Edwin just beat her up.
Speaker 9: Why she came home blind drunk? Yes, the sixt time
this week. Thank you, missus Schwartzkow. Goodbye.
Speaker 12: London Bridge is falling down, falling down, rolling down. London
Bridges falling down, falling down, falling down on me. Hello,
who the Parents Teachers Association? You want Uncle Edwin to
speak at a meeting?
Speaker 9: I'm sorry, I don't think he'll be able to. No,
he's in jail.
Speaker 12: Mumbling diamonds into the country. He was getting away with
it for years. He brought them in in his beard. London,
the bridge is falling down, falling.
Speaker 1: We'll be back with a magnificent motingue in just a moment.
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Speaker 14: Smoke a pack of Chesterfields. You'll find Chesterfields taste better
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the biggest plus in cigarette history by Chesterfields. Today and
now back to the magnificent Martigulle. Yesterday was a big
day in the Montagu home. Their neighbour's little daughter, Gwendolen
came to stay with them. Lily and Edwin have been
happily shopping for toys. Agnes has been baking little cakes,
and Gwendolen has been answering the phone. It is the
next day, the morning sun rises on a happy home.
Speaker 6: London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down, Oh, Agnes, yeah, honey.
Speaker 3: Children bring out the sweetness and everybody.
Speaker 6: Incidentally, Missus Schwartzko, president of my Red Cross chapter, could
stand a little sweetness.
Speaker 7: What happen?
Speaker 6: I can't understand it. I'm met her in the market
this morning. When I mentioned I was planning a cocktail
party to raise funds. She said, fine, you can drink
up all the prophets. Then she handed me this pamphlet
and ran here, look at it.
Speaker 4: Let me see it don't be a burden to your
loved ones joined alcoholics.
Speaker 6: Anonymous, Agnes, what did you tell her when she phoned yesterday?
Speaker 4: She said, I tell her I didn't speak to her.
The only one here was Gwendolen. Gwendolen.
Speaker 3: Uh, come here, Gwendolen.
Speaker 9: Do you yes, dear Auntie Lily, Gwendolen?
Speaker 6: Did Missus schwartz Cough of the Red Cross call me yesterday?
And did someone say I was too drunk to answer
the phone?
Speaker 9: Yes, Auntie Lily?
Speaker 3: And who said that?
Speaker 9: Uncle Edwin?
Speaker 3: He answered the phone, Edwin? Well, he was with me, Gwendolen.
That's a fifth calling me along, Gwendolyn.
Speaker 2: Why what are you two doing?
Speaker 6: This little child ed when she's been lying When Missus
Schwartzkop called yesterday, Gwendolen said I was too drunk to
answer the phone, too drunk to.
Speaker 3: Edwin? How can you laugh at such lies?
Speaker 2: Lies?
Speaker 10: My Lily, she's a child. How do you want to
stifle that rare gift? Too few children have imagination?
Speaker 3: Imagination? The whole neighborhood thinks I'm a drunk.
Speaker 10: Come here, my poor abused little child, Dear Uncle Edwin.
Wipe away those tears, and remember, Gwendolyn, don't let them
crush your imagination.
Speaker 2: They did sore like the wings of an eagle. Hi unchallenged.
Then I'll get into the lame. Hello. Oh, mister Bugo, that's.
Speaker 3: The sponsor of Edwin's Uncle Good Heart program.
Speaker 10: Hello, what mister flug Try and keep what out of
the newspapers? What but mister Flugel, look, I explained all
to you at the station today.
Speaker 2: Goodbye, Edwin. What is it, Gwendolin?
Speaker 10: Did you answer the phone when mister Flugel called me
yesterday the telephone? Did you tell him I was in Reno, Rena, Reno, Nevada,
getting a divorced from Delay so I could marry dagmar.
Speaker 2: Lily, get me my hair. Bruh, Edwin stopped, let me go.
I'm going to give this little liar spanking.
Speaker 4: Of her life right on her little imagination.
Speaker 10: I'll teach you to answer the phone. We have a
little viper in our nest.
Speaker 3: Quiet, quiet, answer the door.
Speaker 4: Okay, I commenced. Mister Jarvis, President of the Proscenium Club.
Speaker 13: Montague, Montague, Hello Jarvis, Montague. The heavens are bright once more,
and once again the sun is shining on else and
all a job is let her get to the point,
modest Montague, It's off to England with you bearing the
bright standard of the Prosinium Club England to think that
at last, you, Montague, have been chosen the American Shakespearean
acted to participate in the annual Shakespearean Festival in England.
Speaker 3: Edwin, you finally made it jobs.
Speaker 2: It's been my dream.
Speaker 9: I'm so happy for you, Uncle Edwin.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Gwendolyn.
Speaker 8: Being chosen after all these years, Lily the Child.
Speaker 2: Has brought me luck.
Speaker 8: This is our little darling, Gwendolyn Jarvis.
Speaker 2: A little darling she is. Indeed, it was from her
own sweet little.
Speaker 13: Lips that I heard the good us that you were
going to England when I phoned here yesterday.
Speaker 2: I'll kill out you, Elena. How could she have done
this to me?
Speaker 1: Good Uncle Edwin.
Speaker 12: When I read the story in the paper that England
was going to invite the leading Shakespearean actor in America
to their.
Speaker 9: Festival, I know it would be you.
Speaker 2: It's never me.
Speaker 9: That's because they don't know how wonderful you are.
Speaker 12: That's why I wrote a letter to King George, and
I'm getting all my classmates to write letters.
Speaker 13: Montague out of the mouth of babes. We all write
letters the Presenium Club or petition the keen your lifelong
contribution to the Shakespearean stage must be rewarded. Ah is
his hopeless No, no, it shall be done on wings
of hope.
Speaker 2: I fly back to our members. The petition will be
cabled at once. I flir.
Speaker 3: Edwin.
Speaker 2: Do you think, Lily it's too fantastic?
Speaker 6: Don't give up, hope, Edwin. Miracles can happen. Now'll get
along to the radio stage.
Speaker 3: I'm going give a good performance to you.
Speaker 10: There's going to be a great performance me explaining to
the sponsor why I'm not going to marry dagmar Goodbye.
Speaker 12: Yes, Missus schwartzkough, I told a terrible lie about Aunt Lily.
I just made it up about her drinking. I'm going
to be a good girl from now on.
Speaker 1: Goodbye.
Speaker 6: Well, that takes care of Missus schwartzcough.
Speaker 4: That cleans up all the calls she made, except for
Missus Schmidt. The janitor's why she kept hanging up mss.
Speaker 6: We'll have to go down the hall and explain to
Missus Schmidt that it was Gwendolen, who answered the phone
and said she just saw her husband's head come up
on the dumb waiter.
Speaker 12: Oh, Wendy, Lily, I'm so sorry I said those things like, Gwendolen,
I'll never never do it again.
Speaker 3: I think you've blend your lesson. Gwendolen, Come, Agnes.
Speaker 9: Coming, I'll never ever, ever ever tell her lie crossed
my heart and.
Speaker 3: Hope to.
Speaker 9: London Bridge is falling?
Speaker 8: Dose.
Speaker 9: Hello, mister Jarvis, what wonderful news?
Speaker 12: A telegram from the British Embassy inviting Uncle Edwin to England.
Speaker 15: Oh, mister Jarvis, a cake to lay? What didn't you
hear about it? Uncle Edwin passed away? This doorway, Jarvis,
mister Jarvis.
Speaker 9: London Bridge is falling. Oh it's you Uncle Leddy.
Speaker 2: Hello, sweetheart, A poor Uncle Leddie.
Speaker 9: Why don't you lie to your gym?
Speaker 3: Here?
Speaker 9: Come in, I'll smooth down the couch for you there.
Speaker 8: This is RESTful, Thank you, Gwendolyn. Oh, ah, her need
little nap.
Speaker 2: I'm dead.
Speaker 9: Sleep Uncle Edwin, I'll leave you all alone.
Speaker 3: Oh, Gwendolen, what were you doing in Edwin's den?
Speaker 12: Uncle Edwin came home very tired, and I made him
take a little nap.
Speaker 6: Good now, Agnes, see that Gwendolen gets her birth and
it's ready for bed.
Speaker 3: Uncle Eddie and I will come in and kiss you
good night.
Speaker 12: I'm going to praise it. Uncle Edwin gets invited to England.
Speaker 3: Come here, Gwendolyn.
Speaker 6: Yes, and Lily, now, don't be too disappointed if they
don't invite Uncle Edwin. He's been turned down for twenty
five years now, and every year, poor old Jarvis is
broken hearted.
Speaker 3: Oh, aunty, Lily, Now I get ready.
Speaker 4: For a mind kid into the tub.
Speaker 6: Or I'll get the door. Agnes, you go ahead, coming
Javis rely, no, no, Jovis, don't take it so hard.
Speaker 13: I came here as soon as I heard the news.
Speaker 3: Well, Jarvis, that's life.
Speaker 13: Oh no, do you think that only yesterday in the
same room we were all together, he laughing and happy
and so hopeful.
Speaker 3: Not really, Jarvis. I think, deep down in his heart
he knew this was coming. He knew, he knew, and
yet he kept up his spirit to the end.
Speaker 13: The show must go on, is the limit.
Speaker 3: Who's lying in his den in Oh, that's just the.
Speaker 13: Way he would have wanted it, surrounded by his beloved
volumes of Shakespeare.
Speaker 3: There I see him, Yes, all right, but be quiet
this way, Come in, Jarvis.
Speaker 2: There he is, Oh, how natural he looks?
Speaker 13: He is at last joined Shakespeare, Jarvis. All the world's
a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
They have their entrances and their.
Speaker 3: Exit, their exits and their entrances, thank.
Speaker 13: You, their exits and their inferences. And one man in
his time plays numerous part. Oh, plays many parts. You
never get in, right, Javi, And youmanted you plays many.
Speaker 3: Jarvis? What's wrong?
Speaker 2: Dad? Your pails a goot?
Speaker 3: So's done? Jarvis? What are you talking about?
Speaker 13: I was told you were dead, little Gwendolen querel Angolen?
Speaker 9: Did you call me ale?
Speaker 13: Lady?
Speaker 2: Get over on my knee, young lady? Lay my hair right?
Why aren't you fool me?
Speaker 3: For the last time?
Speaker 2: You lied to mister Jarvis what he called, Yes, dwindle.
Speaker 13: And after I told you about the telegram from the
British ambassador, you said mister Montague was dead. Yes, after
he told you about the telegramon telegram, Jarvis, what do
you mean here? It is Monting you're reading, Oh, Edwin,
It's true, It's true, Edwin Montague as well his Madgesty,
the king Ingman invites you to.
Speaker 10: Participate in the forthcoming Shakespearean Festival.
Speaker 2: This is a command performance.
Speaker 10: Your immediate presence is requested, signed the British Ambassador.
Speaker 3: Oh Javis, your petition.
Speaker 13: No, Lily, it was Gwendolen in her simple little letter, Gwendolen,
I was.
Speaker 10: About to spank you, the one person who made my
dream come true England, Gwenlyn, let me kiss your hand.
Speaker 9: Get up on, Lenny. You get to England right away
and really show.
Speaker 8: Them how to act England.
Speaker 3: Cat, Lily, my trunks, Edwin, have you everything?
Speaker 2: Everything? Goodbye the lamb, Edwin.
Speaker 3: Can we go down to the pier.
Speaker 2: There's no time. The boat leaves a few moments. Goodbye, Agnes,
goodbye Edwin.
Speaker 3: The telegram from the British embattle, I have.
Speaker 2: It, Lily right with my passports. Goodbye, I'm offeringland.
Speaker 3: Goodbye, well, Agnes. He's gone.
Speaker 4: He finally made it.
Speaker 3: Y's his dream, and if it wasn't for little Gwendola,
I just put her to bed.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna tack her in.
Speaker 3: Oh wait wait, I'll go with you.
Speaker 7: Okay, here's your room. She may be asleep. What she's
saying in prayers.
Speaker 3: Let's listen and.
Speaker 12: Bless mommy and Daddy and Aunt Emily's new baby and
Aunt Lily and cousin Agon, and please forgive me for
sending that telegram and signing it the British ambassador.
Speaker 3: Oh no, she says the telegram, call the Queen Mary.
We can still stop it.
Speaker 4: Let him go, Honey with him, meet Charted in England.
A ham like him will be welcome.
Speaker 10: Les pull the boat.
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Listen again next week, Friends to the Magnificent Molecule, starring
Marty Woolley, the Saturday Night transcribed feature on NBC's All
Star Festival of Comedy, Music, Mystery and Drama, brought to
you by RCA Victor world leader in radio, first and
recorded music, and first in television by Chesterfield All He's Milder,
better tasting, coolest smoking plus no unpleasant after taste, and
by Annison for fast relief from pain of headache, neurytis
and euralgia. The Magnificent Molegue was written by Matt Hikeen
and Billy Friedberg. Anne Seymour was Lily Pert Calton was Agnes.
Also heard on tonight's program were Art Carney, Gavin Gordon
and Deniece Alexander. This is Don Pardo
Speaker 5: Tomorrow Here New Theater and the Symphony on NBC