WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.240 --> 00:00:07.040 From Workhouse Connect and aj Benze fame. He'd liked to 2 00:00:07.080 --> 00:00:09.759 be walked on a leash and play really dirty, kinky 3 00:00:09.880 --> 00:00:13.000 sex games. Is uh the guy put the cock in 4 00:00:13.039 --> 00:00:18.160 the Peacock network. Okay, bitch, Hey, everybody, AJ Benzi here 5 00:00:18.199 --> 00:00:21.039 with fame as a bitch. This is your daily Unfiltered 6 00:00:21.039 --> 00:00:25.519 podcast for January tenth, twenty twenty five. One let's say, 7 00:00:25.559 --> 00:00:28.679 oh one one, oh I like that? Oh one one 8 00:00:28.760 --> 00:00:34.359 o two oh two five? Excuse me? Should I just 9 00:00:34.479 --> 00:00:39.280 develop the hiccups as I began to log on to 10 00:00:39.479 --> 00:00:42.000 the riverside site and give you a show. I hope 11 00:00:42.039 --> 00:00:46.479 they don't. Oh my god, I'm hiccupping, all right, must 12 00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:52.200 be all these nerves. Well, guys, I'm alive. I know. 13 00:00:52.280 --> 00:00:56.000 I put some messages out there and post out there 14 00:00:56.200 --> 00:00:58.600 the last day or so regarding this fire and where 15 00:00:58.600 --> 00:01:05.480 we are and what the situation is. Man, it's everything 16 00:01:05.519 --> 00:01:13.079 you're watching on TV and worse and scarier. I understandably 17 00:01:13.120 --> 00:01:16.079 couldn't sleep last night. Finally went to bed at like 18 00:01:16.719 --> 00:01:21.239 I don't know, quarter to one. You know, I saw 19 00:01:21.319 --> 00:01:25.439 some very distressing things on TV. Fire as we're getting 20 00:01:25.439 --> 00:01:29.319 closer and closer, As I was about to go to bed. 21 00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:32.200 The fire was about five miles away, and it looked 22 00:01:32.239 --> 00:01:38.560 so menacing and awful. And but you know, what are 23 00:01:38.560 --> 00:01:41.159 you gonna do? I mean, I packed the bags, We 24 00:01:41.560 --> 00:01:44.000 had our stuff ready to go. But I'll get to 25 00:01:44.040 --> 00:01:47.719 that in a second. But I didn't go to bed 26 00:01:47.760 --> 00:01:49.359 until about one o'clock in the morning. But I woke 27 00:01:49.439 --> 00:01:52.599 up at two thirty. Makes no sense. I take a 28 00:01:52.680 --> 00:01:58.239 gummy and I take three sit a minutef in PMS, 29 00:01:58.680 --> 00:02:01.719 whatever the fuck they are. You know, people say don't 30 00:02:01.760 --> 00:02:04.560 take us suit of minifit for your liver. If other 31 00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:08.080 people say don't take the other one, I'm sick of it. Advil, 32 00:02:08.199 --> 00:02:12.199 tylen all. Both are said to be bad. Both are 33 00:02:12.199 --> 00:02:14.080 said to be don't worry about I can't take it. 34 00:02:15.400 --> 00:02:17.599 So I took my typical three to go to bed, 35 00:02:17.639 --> 00:02:24.080 plus the gummy because inherently in my heart and this 36 00:02:24.280 --> 00:02:26.800 horseshoe my mother told me, I got up my ass, 37 00:02:26.840 --> 00:02:30.159 which I have on my wall. As you enter my bedroom, 38 00:02:31.199 --> 00:02:35.639 big old, nice steel horseshoe. I just think, you know, 39 00:02:35.800 --> 00:02:38.240 it's not gonna This is not gonna happen to me. 40 00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:41.560 It's not gonna happen to us. Still, they'll be I'll be, 41 00:02:42.120 --> 00:02:46.520 but there I am wide awake at two thirty and 42 00:02:46.599 --> 00:02:48.759 how do you really sleep? How can you get any 43 00:02:48.840 --> 00:02:52.360 sound sleep? And you've already told your son daughter pack beds. 44 00:02:52.439 --> 00:02:59.199 Let's just pack stuff up, you know, fill up with necessities. 45 00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:02.599 Take a few close and listen. I'm not in any 46 00:03:02.639 --> 00:03:05.520 way trying to act like I understand what it feels 47 00:03:05.560 --> 00:03:08.960 like to see, you know, people's pets burn up and 48 00:03:09.039 --> 00:03:12.280 die in front of their eyes, or losing all their 49 00:03:12.319 --> 00:03:17.599 possessions and homes. But it's still a very unsettling thing 50 00:03:18.280 --> 00:03:22.840 to be a father who literally was just watching a 51 00:03:22.879 --> 00:03:26.960 funny show on HBO Max and laughing, and then suddenly 52 00:03:27.879 --> 00:03:32.599 the fire is a little too close for comfort. And 53 00:03:33.159 --> 00:03:38.000 look they're now saying, I'm watching TV. You know, there's 54 00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:41.879 so many things to talk about, but these politicians or 55 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:44.159 leaders want to get up and say, if this turns 56 00:03:44.199 --> 00:03:47.199 out to be an arson fire, then any death that 57 00:03:47.280 --> 00:03:50.759 occurred will make this a murder investigation. Who gives a shit? 58 00:03:50.879 --> 00:03:55.000 No one cares about that. Right now, we live in 59 00:03:55.039 --> 00:03:59.080 a society where people do awful things in Washington, DC, 60 00:03:59.280 --> 00:04:02.879 and nothing ever fucking happens. Oh, there's gonna be a meeting. 61 00:04:02.919 --> 00:04:05.639 They're gonna get together and have a fist and we're 62 00:04:05.680 --> 00:04:11.240 gonna really sit down and nothing happens. Why would this 63 00:04:11.400 --> 00:04:14.680 be any different. You got Steve Guttenberg, the actor on 64 00:04:14.719 --> 00:04:17.639 the on the street in the Pacific Palisades. I know 65 00:04:17.720 --> 00:04:20.120 Steve for you know, obviously, I started with him in 66 00:04:20.120 --> 00:04:23.639 a movie and he's a great guy. He's lived in 67 00:04:23.639 --> 00:04:25.639 the palis Stads since I know him. And he's moving 68 00:04:25.720 --> 00:04:28.720 cars off the road. The cars that were left unattended. 69 00:04:28.759 --> 00:04:31.480 Some had the keys and the ignition, some didn't. And 70 00:04:31.600 --> 00:04:34.199 naturally this guy on the road interviewing him didn't know 71 00:04:34.199 --> 00:04:36.839 who Steve Gutenberg was. I guess because the last thing 72 00:04:36.879 --> 00:04:40.079 he did well, that would be the movie with me 73 00:04:40.199 --> 00:04:42.120 that didn't really make a lot of ways. But you know, 74 00:04:42.879 --> 00:04:46.680 Steve was hot thirty five years ago. Nicest guy in 75 00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:49.959 show business. Don't believe what they tell you about Tom Hanks. 76 00:04:49.959 --> 00:04:53.480 Steve Gutenberg is the nicest guy in show bus. So anyhow, 77 00:04:54.759 --> 00:04:56.519 just took my headphones off. I don't even know why 78 00:04:56.560 --> 00:04:58.759 I wear him because I can't hear the show in 79 00:04:58.800 --> 00:05:01.720 my ears, and no one can tell me why that is. Anyhow, 80 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:06.560 let's not stray too far from the subject at hand. 81 00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:09.360 But I don't want to hear people talking about I'm 82 00:05:09.360 --> 00:05:12.959 gonna round up to people because Steve Gudenberg said something 83 00:05:13.079 --> 00:05:17.199 on air that was so great. Now, I don't think 84 00:05:17.240 --> 00:05:20.399 Steve is a full throated liberal. I don't, I don't. 85 00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:23.199 I haven't talked politics for him in years. But I 86 00:05:23.240 --> 00:05:26.160 think he understands the other side of the ball. Long Island. Kid, 87 00:05:26.199 --> 00:05:32.240 Long Island's very red. And he said to the reporter, well, 88 00:05:32.279 --> 00:05:34.160 we don't know how the fire was startled, and he said, no, 89 00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:36.560 it was started by a homeless encampment in the mountains, 90 00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:42.319 and suddenly that report had to end. How dare Steve 91 00:05:42.519 --> 00:05:49.959 Gutenberg possibly mention that people unhoused let's not say homeless, 92 00:05:51.120 --> 00:05:57.680 unhoused people may have started the first blaze. It's always 93 00:05:57.680 --> 00:06:02.639 that way, gang. It's not always his cigarette out the 94 00:06:02.680 --> 00:06:06.480 window of a car, or lightning striking the woods. No, 95 00:06:06.519 --> 00:06:12.639 it's not that it's people fucking up camping, or the 96 00:06:12.839 --> 00:06:16.279 hundreds and hundreds of homeless people, drug addicts who live 97 00:06:16.319 --> 00:06:19.480 up in the hills, who live among the bramble and 98 00:06:19.560 --> 00:06:22.920 the tumbleweeds. My god, when I was a kid, tumbleweeds 99 00:06:22.959 --> 00:06:26.600 always just signified the Western was gonna begin Clint Eastwood, 100 00:06:26.680 --> 00:06:30.240 John Wayne was gonna pop out, maybe even Montgomery Cliff 101 00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:35.319 who knew Lee van Cleef with the toothpick and a 102 00:06:35.319 --> 00:06:39.199 little cigarette and his teeth. No, not now now. Tumbleweeds 103 00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:46.279 are death to people in California. So is bramble. But yeah, man, 104 00:06:46.319 --> 00:06:51.199 they could not get that report done quick enough. When 105 00:06:51.240 --> 00:06:56.560 Guttenberg mentioned that, give me a break, do me a favorite, 106 00:06:56.600 --> 00:06:58.439 Shut the fuck up. Why don't you do a report 107 00:06:58.600 --> 00:07:01.680 on why there is no water in the fire hydrants? 108 00:07:01.720 --> 00:07:05.839 Why is the fucking reservoirs dry? Why for the last 109 00:07:05.920 --> 00:07:08.040 fifteen years. When I drive my kids to school and 110 00:07:08.120 --> 00:07:10.120 we see the aqueducts in the street, and I go, 111 00:07:10.439 --> 00:07:12.639 when I moved here in ninety seven, these were full. 112 00:07:12.839 --> 00:07:15.120 What do you mean I said? There was water to 113 00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:18.199 the top. Are you kidding? No, this is what it is. 114 00:07:18.240 --> 00:07:21.879 It's an aqueduct. Ronald Reagan did this for California. They 115 00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:24.199 didn't know, They had no idea those that was even 116 00:07:24.279 --> 00:07:28.879 for water. They didn't know. Sure, there were some assholes 117 00:07:28.879 --> 00:07:31.680 who thinks they're there. So movies like Greece can have 118 00:07:31.800 --> 00:07:36.399 car races. Now it's for fucking water to keep people 119 00:07:36.399 --> 00:07:40.839 alivee to keep things growing to make California one of 120 00:07:40.839 --> 00:07:47.160 the top producing states of produce function, let alone the 121 00:07:47.240 --> 00:07:50.800 people who live here live and not be afraid of 122 00:07:51.040 --> 00:07:54.279 dying every time the fucking wind blows out a candle. 123 00:07:57.160 --> 00:08:03.600 But I wasn't just worried about, you know, what I 124 00:08:03.639 --> 00:08:09.439 had to do for my family. I honestly couldn't sleep 125 00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:15.040 well knowing that Ben Affleck's other house, not the sixty 126 00:08:15.120 --> 00:08:17.959 million dollar mansion he bought with j Lo. No, no, no, 127 00:08:18.079 --> 00:08:21.680 not that one, his newer house that he plunked down 128 00:08:21.839 --> 00:08:26.199 twenty million four. I couldn't sleep knowing that Ben evacuated 129 00:08:26.199 --> 00:08:30.439 that house last night and stayed with Jennifer Jennifer Garner 130 00:08:30.519 --> 00:08:36.360 and their kids. It really bugged me. And finally, today, 131 00:08:36.720 --> 00:08:38.480 just like a couple of hours ago, I read that 132 00:08:38.480 --> 00:08:40.919 Ben Affleck drove back to his home. It didn't burn 133 00:08:41.000 --> 00:08:44.759 down and still standing. So woo oh my god. At 134 00:08:44.840 --> 00:08:46.879 least he can go on and make more movies and 135 00:08:46.919 --> 00:08:50.799 his production company, Actors Equity, the stupidest fucking name ever, 136 00:08:51.080 --> 00:08:54.159 the most generic dumb name for him and Matt Damon 137 00:08:54.200 --> 00:09:00.600 to name a company. It's cool that the take these 138 00:09:00.679 --> 00:09:05.320 phony motherfuck I wasn't only thinking about Ben Affleck. However, 139 00:09:06.519 --> 00:09:10.399 my attention immediately, and maybe yours did too. I thought 140 00:09:10.399 --> 00:09:14.240 of Tom Hanks right away. Tom Hanks and that massive compound, 141 00:09:14.240 --> 00:09:17.559 that hilltop mansion he shares with Rita Wilson. How are 142 00:09:17.600 --> 00:09:22.879 they coping? Well? It turns out Tom hanks Pacific's Palisades 143 00:09:22.919 --> 00:09:28.360 home is miraculously still standing. The fire didn't get to 144 00:09:28.360 --> 00:09:32.799 Tom and read his twenty six billion, eight bedroom nineteen 145 00:09:32.879 --> 00:09:42.200 fucking Oh. I don't care, it's still there. I mean, 146 00:09:42.279 --> 00:09:45.279 you know I I you have to live here to 147 00:09:45.360 --> 00:09:48.840 see what the press writes down in papers and magaza. Yeah, 148 00:09:49.000 --> 00:09:51.879 you have to see what we get to read like 149 00:09:51.600 --> 00:09:55.960 the like do people who put this news out? TMZ 150 00:09:56.480 --> 00:09:59.919 Harvey fucking Levin, who's way too rich than he ever 151 00:10:00.080 --> 00:10:02.320 should have been. And I don't deny him his success. 152 00:10:02.799 --> 00:10:07.399 I don't. Harvey busted his balls and made a completely 153 00:10:07.679 --> 00:10:10.679 new business out of nothing. I gave him all the 154 00:10:10.720 --> 00:10:13.720 props in the world. But you don't have gotta tell 155 00:10:13.919 --> 00:10:17.159 me during the day, or we're packing bags to leave 156 00:10:17.240 --> 00:10:20.159 and people are dying, pets are burning up. You don't 157 00:10:20.200 --> 00:10:24.840 need to tell me about Tom hanks big mansion in 158 00:10:24.960 --> 00:10:30.879 it now. I looked at the house and I said, 159 00:10:31.440 --> 00:10:33.799 I wonder how many pictures are in that house, how 160 00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:37.039 many pictures Tom Hanks took of little girls and their 161 00:10:37.039 --> 00:10:41.279 little red shoes or red gloves. He takes pictures of 162 00:10:41.360 --> 00:10:44.759 red shoes and red gloves. He makes us believe the 163 00:10:44.879 --> 00:10:50.080 pedophilia story because his Instagram it used to be not 164 00:10:50.080 --> 00:10:54.080 sure if it still is. I didn't check bad bad journalists, 165 00:10:54.159 --> 00:10:56.200 but it used to be a big thing back in 166 00:10:56.279 --> 00:11:01.600 twenty eighteen, seventeen nineteen that Tom Haggs instat was full 167 00:11:01.639 --> 00:11:03.840 of stupid shit like that, Why are you showing a 168 00:11:03.879 --> 00:11:06.080 red glove in the street? Why is there a picture 169 00:11:06.080 --> 00:11:08.320 of a little girl's red shoe? What kind of a 170 00:11:08.360 --> 00:11:13.639 freak are you? Maybe one day we can get to 171 00:11:13.720 --> 00:11:16.440 the bottom of whether Forrest Gump is a great guy 172 00:11:16.519 --> 00:11:19.399 or a world class pedophile. At this point we don't know, 173 00:11:21.519 --> 00:11:25.919 but there are stories about fires burning and five football 174 00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:29.440 fields per minute. When that happens, you worry about things 175 00:11:29.519 --> 00:11:32.360 that you never thought you'd have to think about. You 176 00:11:32.440 --> 00:11:34.600 worry about I mean, look, I don't know about you. 177 00:11:34.720 --> 00:11:38.240 I worried about listening to Paris Hilton watching her Malleble 178 00:11:38.360 --> 00:11:41.480 Beach front home burn to the ground. She posted a 179 00:11:42.440 --> 00:11:44.480 a I don't know if I think it was Instagram, 180 00:11:44.679 --> 00:11:47.559 and she's in the background, her baby's crying, the baby 181 00:11:47.600 --> 00:11:49.720 with the big head, whose head is now smaller. He 182 00:11:49.799 --> 00:11:52.320 looks like a regular kid now, no more like the 183 00:11:52.919 --> 00:11:56.919 character Kazoo on the Flintstones. The kid's head has, like 184 00:11:57.000 --> 00:12:00.840 I said, it reduced, and he's finally a cue little baby. 185 00:12:01.120 --> 00:12:04.120 And I've always told you I think Paris Hilton is adorable. 186 00:12:04.360 --> 00:12:06.559 I know she's a schmuck, but I think she's hot 187 00:12:06.639 --> 00:12:10.320 and cute. And I'm like, I laugh along with her. 188 00:12:10.480 --> 00:12:13.799 It's okay, she's like a joke, but I think she's 189 00:12:13.919 --> 00:12:16.960 very pretty. We've what am I doing talking about this? 190 00:12:17.039 --> 00:12:21.879 When the fucking state's burning down? I apologize five football 191 00:12:21.960 --> 00:12:26.399 feels per minute. And yes, I looked at Paris Hilton's 192 00:12:26.480 --> 00:12:30.159 video that she posted of watching her Malleble Beach front 193 00:12:30.200 --> 00:12:35.000 mansion burn up. There was a woman I used to 194 00:12:35.039 --> 00:12:38.159 hang out with. I forget her last name, Monica a Very. 195 00:12:40.120 --> 00:12:43.559 She was married to some French guy, very wealthy French guy. 196 00:12:44.080 --> 00:12:46.720 She was a black chick who, like you know, when 197 00:12:46.799 --> 00:12:49.399 you marry a rich guy, they let you start a 198 00:12:49.480 --> 00:12:53.879 company where you make candles or fucking stupid shit, Well 199 00:12:53.919 --> 00:12:56.600 that's what he did. And Monica, who was a very 200 00:12:56.639 --> 00:13:01.519 sexy black woman, very top heavy, right, a great body, 201 00:13:01.720 --> 00:13:06.080 top heavy tits, but a complete chainsmoker. It was like 202 00:13:06.360 --> 00:13:09.159 hard to sit near her. You know when people light 203 00:13:09.240 --> 00:13:11.000 up a cigarette but there's one still in their mouth. 204 00:13:11.399 --> 00:13:15.399 She was like that. And we got friendly with her, 205 00:13:15.440 --> 00:13:17.960 and she eventually would invite us to her house for parties. 206 00:13:17.960 --> 00:13:21.200 It was right on Pacific Coast Highway on the ocean. 207 00:13:21.679 --> 00:13:25.519 Beautiful backyard just so you guys who don't live here 208 00:13:25.759 --> 00:13:29.799 understand what backyards like this look like. In her backyard, 209 00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:32.559 two story home, but when you drive by the house 210 00:13:32.600 --> 00:13:35.559 on Pacific Coast Highway, it looks like you're pulling into 211 00:13:35.600 --> 00:13:40.879 a garage, but you are because beyond the garage is 212 00:13:41.000 --> 00:13:44.799 the big home that sits on the cliffs of Melloble 213 00:13:45.200 --> 00:13:48.960 Billionaires Row they call it, and right outside their door 214 00:13:49.279 --> 00:13:53.159 is the sand to the Pacific Ocean, and around their 215 00:13:53.440 --> 00:13:58.639 yard are huge plexiglass barriers where you can see the ocean, 216 00:13:59.120 --> 00:14:02.159 but the whole yard is encased. And in the backyard 217 00:14:02.200 --> 00:14:07.480 there were three California king sized beds so people can 218 00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:10.919 lay on them and have fun and fuck around, smoke 219 00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:14.399 their weed whatever they were doing, do some blow whatever. 220 00:14:15.279 --> 00:14:17.480 And then Monica had a big birthday. I think she 221 00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:20.200 was fifty, and she was blowing out the candles and 222 00:14:20.240 --> 00:14:22.679 at one point she took her big tits out and 223 00:14:22.799 --> 00:14:28.240 dropped them on the cake. I saw her house today 224 00:14:28.320 --> 00:14:34.200 on TV burn up Gone. I've long since lost her number. 225 00:14:34.360 --> 00:14:37.080 I don't know where she is, but I actually think 226 00:14:37.159 --> 00:14:44.159 she died last year of lung cancer. Shocker. Two years ago. 227 00:14:44.200 --> 00:14:48.159 I saw her coming out of raupse with the you know, 228 00:14:48.279 --> 00:14:50.519 tubes in her nose for oxygen, and I'm like, oh 229 00:14:50.519 --> 00:14:52.639 my god, Hey are you Monica. How you doing? 230 00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:53.320 Oh? 231 00:14:53.399 --> 00:14:55.879 I've been better, you know, but I'm doing okay. No, 232 00:14:56.279 --> 00:14:59.840 she died not too long after that, So keep enjoying 233 00:14:59.840 --> 00:15:09.399 your cigarettes, people, John Goodman, Heidi mont the Great, Heidi Montak, Montague, 234 00:15:09.519 --> 00:15:14.120 whatever the fuck who spent a fortune to get herself 235 00:15:14.720 --> 00:15:19.440 a beautiful, fake body and correct her facial features to 236 00:15:19.480 --> 00:15:22.679 the point where she finally looked as beautiful as she 237 00:15:22.799 --> 00:15:26.600 wants to look. Her husband, Spencer Pratt, the bad boy 238 00:15:26.759 --> 00:15:31.200 back in the reality TV days, their Pacific Palisades home 239 00:15:31.320 --> 00:15:33.840 burned to the ground. I don't want to even think 240 00:15:33.879 --> 00:15:36.120 about how much money they made to buy that house. 241 00:15:36.159 --> 00:15:38.879 But you know what, Billy Crystal's home is gone too. 242 00:15:39.240 --> 00:15:42.759 Can you think of two radically different people who live 243 00:15:42.799 --> 00:15:49.360 in the same town, Spencer Pratt and Billy Crystal. I mean, 244 00:15:49.840 --> 00:15:54.320 one guy is a fucking nobody with no discernible talent 245 00:15:54.720 --> 00:15:58.000 who became a bad guy for reality TV shows. And 246 00:15:58.039 --> 00:16:02.639 then there's the great Billy Christ Long Island boy who 247 00:16:02.879 --> 00:16:06.240 made it big. And it's just one of the biggest 248 00:16:06.279 --> 00:16:15.120 and best, most talented stars we've ever had. His house gone. 249 00:16:15.120 --> 00:16:18.120 Some of the biggest stars in Hollywood. One hundred and 250 00:16:18.120 --> 00:16:22.879 eighty thousand LA residents now it's up to three hundred 251 00:16:22.919 --> 00:16:28.279 thousand forced to evacuate. I call it, and I'm telling 252 00:16:28.279 --> 00:16:30.840 you right now. No one has said this. It's my term, 253 00:16:31.399 --> 00:16:34.039 but I guarantee you whenever the people who worked the 254 00:16:34.120 --> 00:16:38.360 headline desk on newspapers or TV shows, when they get 255 00:16:38.399 --> 00:16:40.799 their wits about them, when they get as clever as me, 256 00:16:42.279 --> 00:16:44.440 maybe they'll come up with this headline. But I was 257 00:16:44.559 --> 00:16:49.200 raised and I worked in the tabloid news industry, and headlines, big, bold, 258 00:16:49.279 --> 00:16:52.759 black ink was the way we spoke, the way we read, 259 00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:57.720 the way we live. This headline should be apocalypse. How 260 00:16:59.519 --> 00:17:04.720 not at clips now, but apocalypse. How How this crisis 261 00:17:04.799 --> 00:17:08.920 started with the Pacific Palisades fire Tuesday morning. Now it's 262 00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:11.599 in so many different neighborhoods, some as far as twenty 263 00:17:11.640 --> 00:17:17.160 miles away, and last night, just short of midnight, two 264 00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:21.759 houses caught on fire at Ventura Boulevard in Widset. It's, 265 00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:24.039 like I said, a mile and change away from me, 266 00:17:24.119 --> 00:17:26.880 eight blocks away from me. But more than anything else, 267 00:17:28.359 --> 00:17:33.200 the fact that possibly an ember flew that far from 268 00:17:33.559 --> 00:17:37.279 either the Hollywood Hills fire and Runing Canyon right by 269 00:17:37.319 --> 00:17:41.880 the Hollywood Sign, or from Pasadena, or even Pacific Palisades 270 00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:45.759 fifteen miles away. I don't know, could have been started 271 00:17:45.759 --> 00:17:50.039 by some asshole. That's happening too, But I don't want 272 00:17:50.279 --> 00:17:53.480 anybody well, you can do what you want, but you're 273 00:17:53.480 --> 00:17:57.279 gonna get shipped for me. Look at I'm halfway a 274 00:17:57.400 --> 00:18:01.319 conspiracy theorist too. I know we can make rain. Why 275 00:18:01.319 --> 00:18:04.640 didn't we make rain yesterday and put the fires? I 276 00:18:04.759 --> 00:18:09.200 get all that bullshit. And I've seen explosions in the 277 00:18:09.279 --> 00:18:13.039 clouds over ghetto neighborhoods like Compton. When you go, what 278 00:18:13.079 --> 00:18:16.079 the fuck was that? What is all this explosions in 279 00:18:16.119 --> 00:18:23.079 the clouds. Possibly they're making rain. It could happen. But 280 00:18:23.839 --> 00:18:26.599 when you tell me, when I read posts that go, oh, 281 00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:31.880 this is arson, they're starting fires everywhere, look at I'm 282 00:18:31.880 --> 00:18:35.079 not disagreeing. Of course, there's some assholes starting fires in 283 00:18:35.160 --> 00:18:38.400 Studio City where I lived nearby. Might have been one 284 00:18:38.400 --> 00:18:40.880 of those things. The fire was put out in an 285 00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:43.279 hour and a half and everything's fine. I drove by 286 00:18:43.319 --> 00:18:47.960 it this morning to look at it. But guys, anybody 287 00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:51.440 who doubts this, you have no idea what it looks 288 00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:56.279 like when embers, thousands upon thousands of embers are flying 289 00:18:56.440 --> 00:19:00.680 past your head to at a rate that you can't 290 00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:04.960 possibly do anything about it. And you can't account for 291 00:19:05.079 --> 00:19:08.160 all those thousands of members, where they land, where they go, 292 00:19:08.519 --> 00:19:11.279 how far up in the sky they're kicked up and 293 00:19:11.319 --> 00:19:15.839 then sent someplace three, two, five, seven miles away, you 294 00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:20.440 don't know, and it lands on shitty bramble or tumbleweeds, 295 00:19:20.759 --> 00:19:23.279 which Gavin Newsom said that we're not going to clean 296 00:19:23.319 --> 00:19:27.480 that out, and Donald Trump said you have to. And 297 00:19:27.519 --> 00:19:31.319 then fires begin and they're almost impossible to pull out, 298 00:19:31.359 --> 00:19:33.599 to put out, to pull out. Oh my god, I'm 299 00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:44.480 thinking too sexually, they're impossible to put out hold on. Sorry, 300 00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:50.640 but either way, when there are two homes burning down, 301 00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:54.160 you know, so close to where I live, you know, 302 00:19:54.240 --> 00:19:57.039 you get concerned, and that's when we began to pack 303 00:19:57.240 --> 00:20:02.319 our bags. But for get him on me, guys. I mean, 304 00:20:02.480 --> 00:20:05.920 like I said, some of our favorite celebrities are in 305 00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:12.119 awful straits. Anthony Hopkins, Adam Brody, Leyton Meister. They are 306 00:20:12.160 --> 00:20:15.000 among the stars who lost their homes to the fires. 307 00:20:15.400 --> 00:20:20.480 I mean Beyonce's mother, Tina Knowles, her Malleible home burned down, 308 00:20:20.720 --> 00:20:23.119 so you can only imagine how much Marshall walk around 309 00:20:23.119 --> 00:20:26.119 with that ugly fucking sneer on her face, as if 310 00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:29.279 she made any kind of money to afford that Mallible home. 311 00:20:31.279 --> 00:20:35.960 Miles Teller and his beautiful wife Keeley Sperry lost their home. 312 00:20:36.839 --> 00:20:42.839 Don't sleep on Keeley Sperry. Kobe Smolders from How I 313 00:20:42.920 --> 00:20:47.480 Met Your Mother and SNL's Tarn kill Him lost their 314 00:20:47.519 --> 00:20:52.000 home as well. I love how these sketch comedians on 315 00:20:52.119 --> 00:20:57.680 SNL Marry Way way up, Tarren kill him and what's 316 00:20:57.720 --> 00:21:01.559 his name? From SNL Colin, Josan Scolo, Tarwe Hanson and 317 00:21:01.599 --> 00:21:05.680 the other they would never have gotten those women. Let 318 00:21:05.720 --> 00:21:10.640 me go back to a fire. Melissa Rivers, who had 319 00:21:10.640 --> 00:21:15.799 a good time, uh, making fun of the fashion that 320 00:21:15.880 --> 00:21:18.599 took place at Golden Globe, picking up the mantel that 321 00:21:18.680 --> 00:21:24.519 her mother is so beautifully and perfectly executed. She gave 322 00:21:24.559 --> 00:21:28.079 her thoughts, but her her big home in the Palisades 323 00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:34.039 gone at the same day, the same day that her 324 00:21:34.079 --> 00:21:38.519 mother's home off Park Avenue and New York City finally 325 00:21:38.599 --> 00:21:41.960 sold for I don't know, tens of millions of twenty 326 00:21:41.960 --> 00:21:43.559 eight million, I think, I don't know. I mean, that 327 00:21:43.720 --> 00:21:46.519 was in that house twice. That apartment, it's hard to 328 00:21:46.599 --> 00:21:48.960 call it an apartment when you have three or four 329 00:21:49.039 --> 00:21:53.200 floors and a magnificent home with marble. I mean either way, man, 330 00:21:56.920 --> 00:22:01.160 she did. Thank goodness, she was able to save some things. 331 00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:05.920 Melissa Rivers. She saved a picture of her father, Edgar Rosenberg, 332 00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:08.480 who committed suicide when he felt like he ruined his 333 00:22:08.559 --> 00:22:12.200 wife Joan Rivers career. She also took a drawing that 334 00:22:12.319 --> 00:22:17.440 her mother had done of Melissa's son and herself. She 335 00:22:17.559 --> 00:22:22.079 took those, She took those things. That's the kind of 336 00:22:22.200 --> 00:22:25.359 decisions people have to make when these kind of disasters 337 00:22:25.440 --> 00:22:30.599 rained down on us. Jeff Bridges, the big Lebowski watched 338 00:22:30.599 --> 00:22:35.160 his place burn down. So the dude is now homeless. 339 00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:38.319 Where will he drink his white Russians. I don't want 340 00:22:38.319 --> 00:22:40.200 to make a joke. I'm just trying to find some 341 00:22:40.359 --> 00:22:43.160 levity and all that. A lot of celebrities are young, 342 00:22:43.240 --> 00:22:47.160 and they come into certain neighborhoods after they've accumulated several 343 00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:50.000 million dollars in their careers. They get big movies, they 344 00:22:50.039 --> 00:22:52.119 get big jobs, or they want to get right into 345 00:22:52.119 --> 00:22:54.960 the fucking flow. I want a house in the Palace Days, 346 00:22:55.240 --> 00:22:59.559 Get me the fucking five room, six bathroom mansion in Brentwood. 347 00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:04.640 Want to be involved and be famous with the big people. Well, 348 00:23:04.680 --> 00:23:11.240 they're all burning up. They love to swoop into the 349 00:23:11.279 --> 00:23:16.000 palisades in Malibu and Calabasas. By the way, Calabasas burning 350 00:23:16.759 --> 00:23:21.000 near the Kardashian compounds, and that is one of the 351 00:23:21.200 --> 00:23:25.400 biggest emergency situations I've ever been around. The Kardashians may 352 00:23:25.440 --> 00:23:29.039 have to have had believe me, they already did. I 353 00:23:29.039 --> 00:23:31.160 don't know what Kanye is, but I'd rather be with 354 00:23:31.279 --> 00:23:35.359 him and his wife than Kim and the kids in 355 00:23:35.400 --> 00:23:41.440 that crazy ass family. It's almost like the fire had 356 00:23:41.480 --> 00:23:45.599 specific instructions to head into certain neighborhoods in specific streets. 357 00:23:45.640 --> 00:23:53.519 You I mean, but that's why these newer stars they 358 00:23:53.559 --> 00:23:55.839 can't wait to swoop in and get a you know, 359 00:23:55.920 --> 00:24:00.000 a ten million dollar mortgage. These people are thirty years old. 360 00:24:00.079 --> 00:24:02.880 I'll take it, Toniandalbo. I just want to be with 361 00:24:02.920 --> 00:24:06.920 the people who are famous, and these people come and go, 362 00:24:08.200 --> 00:24:10.480 But my heart goes out to the people like James 363 00:24:10.519 --> 00:24:13.079 Woods and Billy Cristal and his wife who've lived in 364 00:24:13.119 --> 00:24:19.359 their home for forty six years. Gang, how the hell 365 00:24:19.480 --> 00:24:23.160 do you even begin to figure out what to pack 366 00:24:23.359 --> 00:24:28.319 and take with you after forty six years? Billy Crystal said, 367 00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:31.440 Janis and I lived in our homes since nineteen seventy nine. 368 00:24:31.759 --> 00:24:35.200 We raised our kids and our grandkids here. Every inch 369 00:24:35.240 --> 00:24:38.640 of our house was filled with love, beautiful memories that 370 00:24:38.759 --> 00:24:41.559 can't be taken away. Were heartbroken, of course, but with 371 00:24:41.599 --> 00:24:43.960 the love of our children and friends. Won't get through this, 372 00:24:45.759 --> 00:24:49.759 God man, the thought of my childhood home burning up. 373 00:24:50.960 --> 00:24:56.799 Anthony Hopkins, like I said, Anna Faris, Eugene Levy, Cameron Matheson, 374 00:24:56.960 --> 00:25:03.599 Ricky Lake, Mandy Moore, Sandra Lee, sh Houses gone the 375 00:25:03.720 --> 00:25:07.680 Liberal prick. Mark Hamill lost his home too, that I'm 376 00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:13.039 not that sad about. Meanwhile, Harrison Ford, Jamie Lee Curtis, 377 00:25:13.039 --> 00:25:15.319 who did a really funny thing with Jimmy Fallon the 378 00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:19.559 other night. She recreated a dance in Like I Staying 379 00:25:19.599 --> 00:25:22.119 Alive that movie and she was doing a big like 380 00:25:22.519 --> 00:25:26.279 exercise Jeter side video, Jamie Lee's body is still banging 381 00:25:27.000 --> 00:25:29.680 and Jimmy Fallon they did a really funny skit. But 382 00:25:30.519 --> 00:25:37.400 her house gone. Whitney Cummings and so many more have 383 00:25:37.480 --> 00:25:40.880 had to evacuate and waiting for information or when they 384 00:25:40.880 --> 00:25:44.720 can get back to their homes. I did like the fact, 385 00:25:44.839 --> 00:25:49.160 well Whitney Comings, the comedian was on Instagram and just 386 00:25:49.319 --> 00:25:52.799 really showing all of us what she's taking with her drawings, 387 00:25:52.839 --> 00:25:57.160 that paintings that are her listeners, or her fans, center 388 00:25:57.839 --> 00:26:00.759 necklaces that mean a lot to her. You know, a 389 00:26:00.839 --> 00:26:04.880 Michael Jordan Jersey, that she got Washington redskins because she's 390 00:26:04.880 --> 00:26:08.119 a Washington fan. Just so many things. I'm just happy 391 00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:11.720 that she didn't say she's gonna take her fucking boyfriend, 392 00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:15.359 the Cobra, the old skateboard dude with her. I hope 393 00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:17.920 that's over. I don't want to see Whitney Cummings with 394 00:26:17.960 --> 00:26:21.839 this asshole who partes here on the side. The guy's 395 00:26:21.880 --> 00:26:25.799 gotta comb over. He's probably forty one years old. He's said, 396 00:26:26.200 --> 00:26:29.599 you know what, I gotta stuff. Whenever I see a beautiful, 397 00:26:29.640 --> 00:26:32.319 funny girl with an asshole, I can't take it. It's 398 00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:34.200 not as bad as the fire, mind you, but I 399 00:26:34.240 --> 00:26:39.559 get just as worked up. Meanwhile, in case anybody didn't 400 00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:45.079 know what to do, just understand, I want you all 401 00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:51.200