WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.439 --> 00:00:06.440 Deborah, with her thirty years of being an ltrepreneur and 2 00:00:06.519 --> 00:00:09.919 creating over seven companies, knows exactly what it means to 3 00:00:10.039 --> 00:00:13.160 accept the mission. When you make that decision, when you 4 00:00:13.199 --> 00:00:15.839 accept the mission to become a solo preneur to take 5 00:00:15.839 --> 00:00:18.760 yourself and your talents to market, then you embrace a 6 00:00:18.800 --> 00:00:22.640 life of not only unlimited possibilities, but also the unknown. 7 00:00:22.960 --> 00:00:25.960 It's an elixir of fear and bravery that only someone 8 00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:30.079 who's taken the leap really understands. On our show, deb 9 00:00:30.160 --> 00:00:32.880 digs deep with her guests to highlight what you the 10 00:00:32.920 --> 00:00:36.079 listener wants to know, the stories, the whys, and the 11 00:00:36.200 --> 00:00:39.799 hows to navigate the journey to success. Get ready to 12 00:00:39.840 --> 00:00:42.520 hear from some of the most incredible mission takers from 13 00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:46.280 Generation Z to boomers. So sit up, perk up, and 14 00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:49.320 get ready to be blown away. Now Here is your host, 15 00:00:49.600 --> 00:00:51.240 Deborah Drummond to love. 16 00:00:51.280 --> 00:00:57.039 Hello, Hello, about the audience. Oh my gosh, learn so 17 00:00:57.159 --> 00:01:01.079 much today. Welcome to Nishan Accepted, and welcome back to 18 00:01:01.159 --> 00:01:04.680 Mission Accepted. Because I'm one of the lucky podcast hosts 19 00:01:04.680 --> 00:01:07.599 that have people that think we're crazy enough that they 20 00:01:07.640 --> 00:01:10.000 want to come back and learn what this mission thing 21 00:01:10.079 --> 00:01:12.480 is all about. So I've had so many people ask 22 00:01:12.519 --> 00:01:14.640 me it's interesting. Right when I was choosing the name 23 00:01:14.680 --> 00:01:16.799 for the podcast, and I was talking to a colleague 24 00:01:16.840 --> 00:01:20.319 of mine who who we've worked creatively together for a 25 00:01:20.359 --> 00:01:21.920 long time, I'm like, you know what I mean, And 26 00:01:22.079 --> 00:01:23.920 we're driving in the car, we're coming back in this 27 00:01:23.959 --> 00:01:26.120 big meeting, and I'm like, you know, I want like 28 00:01:26.280 --> 00:01:29.319 I want to like James bond Borne ultimatum stuff, you know, 29 00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:33.159 like we get in and we stay in, and I go, 30 00:01:33.319 --> 00:01:36.239 oh my gosh, it's like when you know they like 31 00:01:36.280 --> 00:01:38.480 they open it up an n if you accept this mission, 32 00:01:38.799 --> 00:01:40.840 then you know, and then you can't go back. And 33 00:01:40.879 --> 00:01:43.280 I go, that's like, that's what it's like being an entrepreneur, 34 00:01:43.439 --> 00:01:45.200 you know what I mean. You get in there and 35 00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:47.799 then you never forget. You never forget. You might say 36 00:01:47.799 --> 00:01:50.079 I want to go back, but for some reason, you stay. 37 00:01:50.480 --> 00:01:52.879 And so that's what mission Accepted is all about. And 38 00:01:52.959 --> 00:01:55.439 I love when I get to have a group show 39 00:01:55.640 --> 00:01:57.920 with well, I love group shows anyways because it's so 40 00:01:58.280 --> 00:02:00.519 you know, it brings so much variety. But I mean, 41 00:02:00.640 --> 00:02:04.120 I buy hart am a servant leader. And I think 42 00:02:04.159 --> 00:02:07.280 that when you meet coaches, if you ask them. I 43 00:02:07.319 --> 00:02:09.639 think it's pretty fluid. They're like, I'm here to change lives. 44 00:02:09.639 --> 00:02:11.360 I'm here to change lives. I'm here to help people. 45 00:02:11.400 --> 00:02:12.919 I'm here to get the most up. I'm here to 46 00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:16.159 da da da. But the coaching is interesting, and we've 47 00:02:16.199 --> 00:02:20.759 seen a wave. We've seen an evolution of entrepreneurship. We've 48 00:02:20.800 --> 00:02:24.520 seen people stepping into their power. We've seen people getting 49 00:02:24.639 --> 00:02:28.039 coach so they can become a coach. There's trainings in 50 00:02:28.120 --> 00:02:32.319 schools because we have had such a vast download, if 51 00:02:32.319 --> 00:02:35.080 you want to use that word on both connotations of 52 00:02:35.159 --> 00:02:37.400 things that we should be doing, but the amount of 53 00:02:37.479 --> 00:02:41.080 information that's out there. And here's the thing, it is 54 00:02:41.120 --> 00:02:43.800 a world of accessibility. So when you want to have 55 00:02:43.879 --> 00:02:46.560 an expert coach and I want to kind of you know, 56 00:02:46.639 --> 00:02:48.719 at one time, we all thought coaching was like going 57 00:02:48.759 --> 00:02:50.960 to therapy, you know, and you had to be there 58 00:02:50.960 --> 00:02:53.759 for ten years to evolve, right. But here's the cool thing. 59 00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:56.159 There's coaches you want to hang out with for like 60 00:02:56.240 --> 00:02:58.800 the duration of your life because they're so cool. And 61 00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:00.960 then there's coaches that you hang out with to learn 62 00:03:01.039 --> 00:03:05.039 a certain skill. And then there's coaches that you hang 63 00:03:05.080 --> 00:03:07.520 out with to get you through to the other side. 64 00:03:07.759 --> 00:03:10.240 And then there's coaches like Fly birty five, you know 65 00:03:10.280 --> 00:03:12.360 what I mean, and all of above. So we're gonna 66 00:03:12.360 --> 00:03:15.479 have a conversation about coaching in general, you know, kind 67 00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:18.280 of pop some of the myths that may be stopping 68 00:03:18.280 --> 00:03:21.199 people from getting coaching, and also what is it like 69 00:03:21.240 --> 00:03:22.960 to be a coach? You know, what is it like 70 00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:25.000 to be a coach? And so I have two incredible 71 00:03:25.000 --> 00:03:28.800 coaches with me today. We have Nicole. Nicole, do you 72 00:03:28.840 --> 00:03:30.840 want to just kind of wait, some people are watching 73 00:03:30.919 --> 00:03:33.840 us and some people are, you know, just listening to us. 74 00:03:33.840 --> 00:03:36.280 So if you're listening, you know you have Nicole, And 75 00:03:36.319 --> 00:03:38.479 isn't it interesting we are all in we are all 76 00:03:38.479 --> 00:03:40.800 wearing the same colors. We all have this kind of 77 00:03:40.840 --> 00:03:44.280 black white, you know, gorgeous let's get this done, kind 78 00:03:44.319 --> 00:03:47.000 of vib So this is Nicole Kirby and then we 79 00:03:47.120 --> 00:03:49.879 have Rachel Collins. So Rachel just gonna give away a 80 00:03:49.919 --> 00:03:52.080 little bit. So let's just kind of break into it, 81 00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:55.159 and I'm kind of just, you know, before we get 82 00:03:55.240 --> 00:03:58.039 into talking about what it's like for someone to be coached, 83 00:03:58.199 --> 00:03:59.639 let's kind of back it up a little bit, because 84 00:03:59.840 --> 00:04:01.840 you know, we've got to take group with us today. 85 00:04:02.159 --> 00:04:06.000 So Nicole, tell people what you do, what kind of 86 00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:09.080 coaching you do, and what drew you to that. 87 00:04:10.520 --> 00:04:15.319 Okay, So I do success mindset coaching with entrepreneurial women. 88 00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:21.000 So I help female entrepreneurs break through any limiting beliefs, 89 00:04:21.319 --> 00:04:26.040 any ceiling they have, get really crystal clear on their big, 90 00:04:26.079 --> 00:04:29.879 bold vision, look at the blinding spots, break through those 91 00:04:29.920 --> 00:04:33.600 so that the vision can be amplified, accelerated, and just 92 00:04:33.920 --> 00:04:37.439 really step into exactly what they want. And I was 93 00:04:37.519 --> 00:04:41.040 drawn to coaching. I mean it was just I think 94 00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:44.199 I was fourteen. I won't say how many years ago 95 00:04:44.319 --> 00:04:48.160 that was, but I grew up in this wonderful house. 96 00:04:48.759 --> 00:04:51.480 My parents always had so many books, and they had 97 00:04:51.519 --> 00:04:54.360 self help books. And I picked up my first self 98 00:04:54.399 --> 00:04:59.199 help book, Leo Biscaglia. I'm totally aging myself. And I 99 00:04:59.240 --> 00:05:03.439 just fell in love with psychology, and in my twenties, 100 00:05:03.959 --> 00:05:08.240 after I did my psychology degree, I really wanted to 101 00:05:08.360 --> 00:05:11.279 see more options for women. 102 00:05:12.480 --> 00:05:15.160 Wow. So we're going to come back to that a 103 00:05:15.160 --> 00:05:17.800 little bit, think about maybe because you know what we 104 00:05:17.879 --> 00:05:20.920 hear and I do not like the term buzzwords. All 105 00:05:20.920 --> 00:05:23.160 that's a buzzword. It's not, it's like it's an important word. 106 00:05:23.160 --> 00:05:25.560 Words are important. We just came from the author, you know, 107 00:05:25.759 --> 00:05:29.560 party here. Words are important. They and they stick. So 108 00:05:29.600 --> 00:05:31.399 I'm going to talk to Rachel a little bit. But Nicole, 109 00:05:31.439 --> 00:05:33.839 if you can think about maybe you know, we hear 110 00:05:33.959 --> 00:05:36.519 things and because we hear them often sometimes I slide 111 00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:39.399 over us. Right. We hear the words success, we hear 112 00:05:39.439 --> 00:05:42.000 the word limiting beliefs. We hear the word going for 113 00:05:42.079 --> 00:05:44.360 our dreams. Right, maybe when we come back to you 114 00:05:44.480 --> 00:05:47.720 can talk a little bit about what does that look like? 115 00:05:47.720 --> 00:05:49.839 Like really, what does that taste like? And I always 116 00:05:49.879 --> 00:05:52.279 say so you know, for me, I coach a lot 117 00:05:52.319 --> 00:05:56.040 around media and people are like, oh that's great, and 118 00:05:56.079 --> 00:05:58.519 you can see like years do you know what I mean? 119 00:05:58.680 --> 00:06:02.240 Because my topic isn't like so well known, particularly with 120 00:06:03.279 --> 00:06:06.519 women's stepping into media and so being able to say 121 00:06:07.279 --> 00:06:09.600 how many podcasts have you done? And no one's called you. 122 00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:13.079 They're like oh oh oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, 123 00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:16.399 I'm like, let me get that different. Right, So let 124 00:06:16.480 --> 00:06:18.560 us come back to you a little bit because it's 125 00:06:18.600 --> 00:06:22.079 important for people to understand what does look like? What 126 00:06:22.120 --> 00:06:25.759 are you feeling? Are you frustrated? Are you like the 127 00:06:25.800 --> 00:06:27.759 end of the year's coming and I didn't quite So 128 00:06:27.800 --> 00:06:30.720 maybe let's pop back to that. Thank you, So, Rachel, 129 00:06:31.800 --> 00:06:34.000 So tell us what kind of coaching you do and 130 00:06:34.040 --> 00:06:35.160 what drew you there. 131 00:06:35.839 --> 00:06:40.000 Yes, absolutely so. I'm doing a group coaching program and 132 00:06:40.079 --> 00:06:43.639 it's called the Focus Flow Success Circle. And what drew 133 00:06:43.720 --> 00:06:48.639 me to this was I basically was looking for a way. 134 00:06:49.319 --> 00:06:51.199 It's a system that I developed for myself and now 135 00:06:51.199 --> 00:06:55.040 I'm teaching in a group coaching model, and I was 136 00:06:55.079 --> 00:06:57.279 looking for a way to really deal with a lot 137 00:06:57.319 --> 00:07:01.920 of overwhelm and prioritize. And what I found was if 138 00:07:01.959 --> 00:07:04.879 I could ground this in my long term vision and 139 00:07:04.920 --> 00:07:07.879 then work at that within like ninety day planning cycles 140 00:07:08.279 --> 00:07:12.600 in a really mindful way, that it allowed me to 141 00:07:13.480 --> 00:07:16.199 say no to a lot of things and say a 142 00:07:16.240 --> 00:07:19.000 great big yes to the things that really truly mattered. 143 00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:22.040 And so what I've done is I've created a group 144 00:07:22.199 --> 00:07:26.160 of training coaching program where I teach the system to 145 00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:29.959 people so they can identify for themselves as well their 146 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:33.240 big why what really matters to them. And then in 147 00:07:33.439 --> 00:07:37.439 a program where there's support not only for myself but 148 00:07:37.480 --> 00:07:41.839 from fellow participants to really hold each other accountable, to 149 00:07:41.920 --> 00:07:45.120 make sure that we actually get those things done. And 150 00:07:45.199 --> 00:07:49.519 so I think just the power sometimes of naming what 151 00:07:49.680 --> 00:07:51.959 it is that you need to do and why and 152 00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:54.839 then knowing that you'll be held accountable to that is 153 00:07:54.920 --> 00:07:56.959 really where the power of coaching comes in. 154 00:07:58.160 --> 00:08:00.680 Well, that's thank you, that's beautiful. Well. And I think 155 00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:05.360 that whether it group coaching or individual one on one coaching, 156 00:08:05.399 --> 00:08:07.319 and I know a lot a lot of individual coaches 157 00:08:07.399 --> 00:08:10.480 have group and individual and vice versa, they both have 158 00:08:10.600 --> 00:08:15.199 really powerful dynamics. But I think that that's the one 159 00:08:15.199 --> 00:08:17.959 thing that for me and maybe you ladies can talk about. 160 00:08:18.040 --> 00:08:19.839 You know, I'm going to ask you, you know, Rachel, 161 00:08:19.879 --> 00:08:23.920 maybe think about an experience that someone's had in having 162 00:08:23.959 --> 00:08:25.879 you know, what what's that look like at the end 163 00:08:26.600 --> 00:08:30.360 for someone where how does it really actualize in their life? Right? 164 00:08:30.720 --> 00:08:34.159 Because one of the things that I love about hiring experts, 165 00:08:34.159 --> 00:08:36.360 and I the guy you know, still to this day, 166 00:08:36.360 --> 00:08:39.960 if I need advice, I'm looking for that person is 167 00:08:40.039 --> 00:08:42.559 knowing that you just have someone with you, you know, 168 00:08:42.600 --> 00:08:46.840 whether it's because you lack accountability, which isn't my issue. 169 00:08:47.000 --> 00:08:49.360 My issue is that I don't always want to do 170 00:08:49.440 --> 00:08:53.039 things alone and sometimes I just want to have someone 171 00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:55.399 on that journey with me, whether it's a new stage 172 00:08:55.440 --> 00:08:57.360 in my business or what have you. I just want 173 00:08:57.399 --> 00:09:00.480 someone I trust to banter off and to see the 174 00:09:00.480 --> 00:09:03.559 holes I may not be seeing, right. So I love 175 00:09:03.679 --> 00:09:08.120 the journey of togetherness in coaching, right, So thank you 176 00:09:08.159 --> 00:09:10.480 for sharing that. So Nicole, back to you a little 177 00:09:10.480 --> 00:09:14.639 bit on when people are needing to have someone step 178 00:09:14.639 --> 00:09:16.799 in in terms of success or what is it you do? 179 00:09:17.200 --> 00:09:18.159 What is that looking like? 180 00:09:19.159 --> 00:09:22.600 So more and more and I have seen this trend 181 00:09:22.720 --> 00:09:24.600 in the last four to six months and I do 182 00:09:24.720 --> 00:09:28.120 as you know, I love to network, so I spend 183 00:09:28.159 --> 00:09:32.879 a lot of time with female entrepreneurs. Imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome. 184 00:09:32.919 --> 00:09:36.840 Imposter syndrome has come up in I would say ninety 185 00:09:36.840 --> 00:09:38.639 five percent of the conversations I've had in the last 186 00:09:38.679 --> 00:09:43.039 three or four months. So with that, what I hear 187 00:09:43.120 --> 00:09:45.759 when I'm coaching is who am I to do this? 188 00:09:47.399 --> 00:09:51.039 I know I want to serve, I have a big goal, 189 00:09:52.080 --> 00:09:56.080 But who am I to do that? And so a 190 00:09:56.159 --> 00:09:59.320 coach will see in you what you can't see in yourself, 191 00:10:00.440 --> 00:10:05.000 and that to me is a bottom line power reason 192 00:10:05.279 --> 00:10:10.519 to access coaching. We can't see what's holding us back 193 00:10:10.559 --> 00:10:15.320 all the time, yet we feel it daily. The other 194 00:10:15.399 --> 00:10:19.159 thing that I'm really noticing a trend is I think 195 00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:23.399 we all see a lot of female entrepreneurs who have 196 00:10:23.559 --> 00:10:27.480 come from corporate. I worked at a university. I kind 197 00:10:27.480 --> 00:10:31.320 of equate that right, very hierarchical. You know, we go 198 00:10:31.360 --> 00:10:33.720 to university, we go to school, we do all of 199 00:10:33.720 --> 00:10:37.759 these things that are very structurally clear in where the 200 00:10:37.799 --> 00:10:42.320 milestones of success are. And then we jump into entrepreneurism 201 00:10:42.600 --> 00:10:47.320 and we all know it's not like this, and we 202 00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:54.000 equate success on those old measures and they're apples and oranges. 203 00:10:54.440 --> 00:10:57.320 But I'm seeing I'm seeing the pattern all the time 204 00:10:57.519 --> 00:11:00.720 of I feel like I'm failing. And then my next 205 00:11:00.759 --> 00:11:06.080 question is what were your success measures? And how are 206 00:11:06.120 --> 00:11:10.879 we going to create new and broader success measures? And 207 00:11:10.919 --> 00:11:13.159 for me, I really I think this is more of 208 00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:16.279 a Brendan Burchard thing that always sticks in my mind. 209 00:11:16.360 --> 00:11:21.480 But celebrate the efforts. We have to redefine what our 210 00:11:21.519 --> 00:11:24.759 success measures are and we have to broaden them. It 211 00:11:24.799 --> 00:11:28.720 can't just be revenue, it can't just be right. Entrepreneurism 212 00:11:28.799 --> 00:11:31.120 is just too much of a ride like that. So 213 00:11:31.639 --> 00:11:34.000 that's what I'm seeing a lot of and that's where 214 00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:36.080 I kind of intervene and try and help people. 215 00:11:37.000 --> 00:11:40.240 You know, well, said my friend, because I think that again, 216 00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:43.240 I mean when you're dealing with corporate And it's interesting 217 00:11:43.279 --> 00:11:47.360 because even my son who's twenty, who's only had one 218 00:11:47.440 --> 00:11:49.879 job really other than you know, working for me doing 219 00:11:49.919 --> 00:11:53.240 some stuff, you know, but he works at a gym. 220 00:11:53.639 --> 00:11:55.440 He goes in, he clocks in and clocks out. And 221 00:11:55.440 --> 00:11:57.559 I've been talking to him lately. I'm like, we're ready 222 00:11:57.559 --> 00:11:59.559 for you to step in, and he was like, I 223 00:11:59.559 --> 00:12:01.799 don't know what that looks like. I don't know what 224 00:12:01.840 --> 00:12:03.960 that looks like. Now he's a new entrepreneur, whether he's 225 00:12:03.960 --> 00:12:07.000 twenty or whether he's forty or fifty or sixty. Right, 226 00:12:07.120 --> 00:12:09.799 it's like, you don't know what that looks like. And 227 00:12:10.840 --> 00:12:13.320 he's like do I. So, you know, we have him 228 00:12:13.399 --> 00:12:16.120 checking in, like putting his time, like to just kind 229 00:12:16.159 --> 00:12:19.240 of ease that process. Right, But how do you define 230 00:12:19.279 --> 00:12:22.279 success when so many times your success was defined by 231 00:12:22.360 --> 00:12:25.600 a job description or by numbers at the end of 232 00:12:25.600 --> 00:12:28.200 the month, or buy a paycheck every two weeks. Let's 233 00:12:28.200 --> 00:12:30.600 face it, when you get a paycheck every two weeks, 234 00:12:30.879 --> 00:12:34.399 that is some sort of affirmation and confirmation. You're like, job, 235 00:12:34.440 --> 00:12:37.240 well done, they paid me, you know, which is interesting 236 00:12:37.240 --> 00:12:40.120 because entrepreneurs when I tap on that entrepreneurs, when you're 237 00:12:40.159 --> 00:12:41.799 coaching entrepreneurs, and I know we're all hanging out with 238 00:12:41.879 --> 00:12:43.679 entrepreneurs and we are them and it's mission accepted. So 239 00:12:43.759 --> 00:12:47.559 let's face it our audience as entrepreneurs, right, But when 240 00:12:47.639 --> 00:12:51.399 do when we pay ourselves, if we pay ourselves, Okay, 241 00:12:51.480 --> 00:12:55.320 let's talk about that, do we stop pay ourselves and 242 00:12:55.360 --> 00:12:59.679 go thank you, well done, well done, or do we 243 00:12:59.720 --> 00:13:01.399 just keep we're rolling it in and we don't even 244 00:13:01.399 --> 00:13:02.879 really know what we're paying ourselves, but we know that 245 00:13:02.879 --> 00:13:04.440 our rents paid and or this is paid and all 246 00:13:04.440 --> 00:13:06.279 that kind of stuff is paid. But that's really an 247 00:13:06.279 --> 00:13:09.120 interesting point that you talk about, and then having someone 248 00:13:09.200 --> 00:13:13.360 like yourself on the other side going whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, 249 00:13:13.559 --> 00:13:16.120 This and this and this, this is what I see. 250 00:13:16.120 --> 00:13:19.200 And I loved how you said brought in because a 251 00:13:19.200 --> 00:13:21.559 lot of times when it's solo and a solopreneur, we 252 00:13:21.639 --> 00:13:25.080 see this. You just see direct results. Even the best 253 00:13:25.080 --> 00:13:29.600 of entrepreneurs forget sometimes to live in the gray. Right, 254 00:13:30.200 --> 00:13:32.879 to live in the gray. That's awesome. And Rachel, what 255 00:13:32.919 --> 00:13:35.559 about yourself? Have you had someone that has come to 256 00:13:35.600 --> 00:13:38.960 your group or and had an experience like what you know, 257 00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:40.759 maybe tell us a little bit about what that journey 258 00:13:40.799 --> 00:13:43.080 looks like after someone's been in a group because a 259 00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:47.000 lot of people won't go to group coaching. A lot 260 00:13:47.000 --> 00:13:49.960 of people will only go to group coaching, right because 261 00:13:49.960 --> 00:13:51.200 they don't want to you know, they don't want to 262 00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:52.960 be seen seen. And then some people go to group 263 00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:55.360 coaching because they don't want people to see that. It's interesting. 264 00:13:55.440 --> 00:14:00.759 So from someone who does group coaching, dynamic when maybe someone's. 265 00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:04.600 Journey, Yeah, so I would say, like, you know, quite 266 00:14:04.639 --> 00:14:07.840 typical to a lot of people I'm working with, very 267 00:14:07.840 --> 00:14:11.879 busy professionals, passion projects or side projects on the side. 268 00:14:12.080 --> 00:14:15.879 Often you know, that entrepreneurial spirit. But a lot of 269 00:14:15.919 --> 00:14:18.480 the people I work with are also working parents. And 270 00:14:18.519 --> 00:14:21.159 so if you think about the pressures, right, so you've 271 00:14:21.159 --> 00:14:24.559 got a professional job, you've got some type of passion project, 272 00:14:25.200 --> 00:14:28.320 you're raising a family. Often there's elder care, you know, 273 00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:32.039 it's that sandwich generation, right, and so keeping all of 274 00:14:32.080 --> 00:14:35.320 those wheels spinning and feeling good about what you're doing 275 00:14:35.720 --> 00:14:39.320 and actually recognizing what you're accomplishing can be really tough, 276 00:14:39.799 --> 00:14:42.919 and so what I find is a lot of people 277 00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:45.799 are just really really hard on themselves. And so I 278 00:14:45.799 --> 00:14:48.919 think about one mother in particular, who was doing a 279 00:14:49.080 --> 00:14:52.159 lot right, but she never felt like she was doing 280 00:14:52.399 --> 00:14:55.240 enough right because the job is never done. And so 281 00:14:55.360 --> 00:14:59.320 it was really important that we focused in on what 282 00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:02.519 was going to be realistic to actually achieve What can 283 00:15:02.559 --> 00:15:04.399 you really do in a day? What can you really 284 00:15:04.399 --> 00:15:07.200 do like in a ninety day sprint, right, And so 285 00:15:07.799 --> 00:15:12.480 I highly encourage people to ground what it is they 286 00:15:12.519 --> 00:15:15.720 want to accomplish in that longer term vision and then 287 00:15:15.759 --> 00:15:18.799 to really narrow that down for like the next ninety days, 288 00:15:19.799 --> 00:15:22.200 what is it you're going to focus on as the 289 00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:25.679 one or two absolute key priorities they're going to move 290 00:15:25.720 --> 00:15:28.080 the dial the most on those things that you want 291 00:15:28.120 --> 00:15:31.720 to do, and in doing that, also get really clear 292 00:15:31.759 --> 00:15:34.320 in terms of what does success look like in that 293 00:15:34.399 --> 00:15:36.480 short term window, right, So you know you're not going 294 00:15:36.519 --> 00:15:38.360 to get all the way to the finish line, like 295 00:15:38.399 --> 00:15:41.679 these are longer term visions, but what can you celebrate 296 00:15:41.720 --> 00:15:44.519 along the way, So at the end of ninety days 297 00:15:44.720 --> 00:15:47.639 you're like, yeah, like I actually did something, and yes, 298 00:15:47.879 --> 00:15:49.639 I have a lot of things I haven't gotten to, 299 00:15:50.080 --> 00:15:52.639 but I did something. I did something significant, and I 300 00:15:52.639 --> 00:15:55.080 can feel good about that. And so I think just 301 00:15:55.159 --> 00:15:58.440 really starting to change that mindset and then helping people 302 00:15:58.679 --> 00:16:02.879 get better at estimated what's realistic to accomplish and then 303 00:16:02.960 --> 00:16:07.559 be grateful and easy with themselves and less judgmental of 304 00:16:07.559 --> 00:16:11.080 themselves along that path, it just empowers us to build 305 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:13.879 that momentum and then keep going and then estimate for 306 00:16:13.919 --> 00:16:15.159 the next ninety days. 307 00:16:16.080 --> 00:16:19.440 I love that. I love that you said that they 308 00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:23.559 were comparing not doing enough to feeling like they were enough, 309 00:16:24.440 --> 00:16:27.120 and Nicole, you must come across that in your practice 310 00:16:27.159 --> 00:16:30.679 as well. And for our listeners that are listening that 311 00:16:30.759 --> 00:16:34.360 stop and recognize. But for people that do a lot 312 00:16:34.360 --> 00:16:36.559 of projects, like you said, you know you're you're dealing 313 00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:38.279 with a lot of people that have family as well. 314 00:16:38.399 --> 00:16:43.039 I think whether we are in family, have family, extended family, 315 00:16:43.320 --> 00:16:46.039 or you've built a community that we are responsible to. 316 00:16:46.320 --> 00:16:49.120 I think that's a really good point that someone on 317 00:16:49.159 --> 00:16:52.720 the outside can really stop and say, we do in 318 00:16:52.720 --> 00:16:55.159 the two sixty two world, and my audience knows to 319 00:16:55.279 --> 00:16:58.159 sixty two world, and so do YouTube ladies. We do 320 00:16:58.200 --> 00:17:00.440 an ask party. We just was talking about this on 321 00:17:00.879 --> 00:17:02.960 the group author and the ass party and it's like, 322 00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:05.519 what do you need in the next thirty days? Now, 323 00:17:05.559 --> 00:17:07.680 first of all, it's super hard for people to ask, 324 00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:10.200 and we watch that process, Right, I'm going to ask 325 00:17:10.279 --> 00:17:15.880 for something, but tightening it up really clarifying, like really 326 00:17:15.920 --> 00:17:20.960 clarifying what it is that they're looking for. Right, So 327 00:17:21.000 --> 00:17:25.000 when I hear both of you share, it's like, sometimes 328 00:17:25.039 --> 00:17:27.519 the pain's not obvious, so Nicole will go to you. 329 00:17:27.960 --> 00:17:30.599 So you have women that come to you. It doesn't 330 00:17:30.599 --> 00:17:32.839 sound like they always know what it is that they 331 00:17:32.880 --> 00:17:35.519 need to do, but they just know you were saying, 332 00:17:35.519 --> 00:17:39.880 like there's something that they're feeling. So I want my 333 00:17:39.920 --> 00:17:45.640 audience to feel encouraged. So, like I said, sometimes there's 334 00:17:45.640 --> 00:17:48.480 still this old paradigm around and let's just kind of 335 00:17:48.519 --> 00:17:53.039 debunk some of that. Around coaching is therapy. Coaching is 336 00:17:53.279 --> 00:17:57.200 you know, counseling. Can you expand on that a little bit, Nicole, like, 337 00:17:58.000 --> 00:17:59.880 it's a painful place where people don't know what to do. 338 00:18:00.119 --> 00:18:02.640 In talk a little bit about that. 339 00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:06.440 I think what I've noticed about the difference in coaching 340 00:18:06.480 --> 00:18:12.920 and therapy, and I think they both have their their 341 00:18:12.920 --> 00:18:20.519 complementary coaching is often forward facing. Coaching is often very 342 00:18:20.559 --> 00:18:25.440 action oriented, at least in the way that I've been trained. 343 00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:30.160 I don't go into the past very much. Whereas therapy 344 00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:38.839 is examining past patterns, coaching looks to being clear on 345 00:18:38.880 --> 00:18:41.759 the future. You want to create, who you want to become, 346 00:18:41.839 --> 00:18:45.000 who you want to serve, how do you want to grow? 347 00:18:45.039 --> 00:18:50.079 So it's very future and facing and very action oriented. 348 00:18:50.279 --> 00:18:53.279 That you know, it would be very seldom that I 349 00:18:53.319 --> 00:18:56.640 would ever do a coaching session with somebody where they 350 00:18:56.680 --> 00:18:59.559 have not defined some type of action. And that doesn't 351 00:18:59.559 --> 00:19:03.279 mean that has to be groundbreaking. In fact, oftentimes it's 352 00:19:03.400 --> 00:19:07.599 the little workable, manageable, like Rachel's alluded to, you know, 353 00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:13.400 being really concise about what you feel will help you 354 00:19:13.559 --> 00:19:17.680 feel like you're progressing. I think I actually, I guess 355 00:19:17.720 --> 00:19:20.440 that's that's a great word. One of the my trainers 356 00:19:20.480 --> 00:19:26.359 always said, she said life is about progress, and I 357 00:19:26.359 --> 00:19:32.240 think coaching is the structure with which we can accelerate that. 358 00:19:33.240 --> 00:19:38.400 Wow, very cool, Very cool. Let's talk about some of 359 00:19:38.440 --> 00:19:43.279 the things that happened after someone's been coached, right, So 360 00:19:43.519 --> 00:19:46.960 there's the uncomfortableness, there's you know, people get flooded out. 361 00:19:47.000 --> 00:19:49.440 I don't use the O word, you know, get fledted out. 362 00:19:49.480 --> 00:19:50.880 They've got lots of things that are going on in 363 00:19:50.880 --> 00:19:54.119 their life. What are some of the surprises, do you 364 00:19:54.200 --> 00:19:56.000 know what I mean? I think it's always cool you go, 365 00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:58.200 you know, you go, you have an issue, you want 366 00:19:58.240 --> 00:20:00.920 to work on this, and then there's some surprises because 367 00:20:00.960 --> 00:20:03.319 it's been my experience and maybe you used and say 368 00:20:03.599 --> 00:20:08.799 yay or nay that when you change something, everything changes. 369 00:20:09.759 --> 00:20:14.160 So maybe I'll ask both of you this question. So Rachel, 370 00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:17.119 let's talk let's talk to that a little bit about 371 00:20:17.960 --> 00:20:20.640 what are some of the other sides. 372 00:20:22.240 --> 00:20:25.200 Yeah, I think you know, one of the greatest gifts 373 00:20:25.240 --> 00:20:28.960 that can come out of this is, uh, you know, 374 00:20:29.400 --> 00:20:33.400 letting go of perfection, right, so progress over perfection. I 375 00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:35.799 think that's a huge gift in a learning like for 376 00:20:36.240 --> 00:20:40.200 many of us on this journey. And I think where 377 00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:45.920 people often struggle is just in trying to really identify 378 00:20:46.119 --> 00:20:49.519 like the next step right, and so being able to 379 00:20:50.400 --> 00:20:52.920 find a way to like trust yourself and tune into 380 00:20:52.920 --> 00:20:55.839 your intuition. I think that's another one of those surprise 381 00:20:55.960 --> 00:20:58.519 gifts that comes out when this is well done. So 382 00:20:58.559 --> 00:21:01.160 the answer is not being handed to you. It's authentic 383 00:21:01.240 --> 00:21:03.960 to you. It's coming from within. And maybe you knew 384 00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:07.160 that right, like you had that inkling, but learning to 385 00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:12.240 really articulate it and then trust yourself and then take 386 00:21:12.319 --> 00:21:15.319 the next step even if you're not sure, right, Like, 387 00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:17.000 that's the other kind of a leap of faith in 388 00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:20.480 this is okay, I'm going to try it and starting 389 00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:23.319 to adapt more that growth mindset where I can try 390 00:21:23.359 --> 00:21:26.200 it and if it doesn't work, then I can pivot. Right, 391 00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:30.160 it's not a failure. And so I think really reframing, 392 00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:32.519 like a lot of the language that we use how 393 00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:37.519 we think about our experiences is just very empowering and 394 00:21:37.640 --> 00:21:39.039 sets us free. 395 00:21:39.240 --> 00:21:42.559 Wow, there's some great things. And nicole for yourself, I mean, 396 00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:45.319 maybe you had someone that was like, ah, you know. 397 00:21:46.119 --> 00:21:51.359 You know, it's really interesting. I think I speak so 398 00:21:51.480 --> 00:21:54.960 much to the connection between vision and motivation. So I 399 00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:58.720 think I tend to attract women who at that moment 400 00:21:58.920 --> 00:22:01.720 are feeling that way for in motivation and let's call 401 00:22:01.759 --> 00:22:05.480