Speaker 1: Weird.
Speaker 2: We welcome back midnight viewers to follow Alone's weekly round up.
Speaker 2: Biden Follom Alone and with me y as always is
Speaker 2: my own sugar plum Fairy, Miss ripley Gen. How are you, lady?
Speaker 2: I'm not actually feeling the season yet. December twenty fourth,
Speaker 2: that's usually when it kicks in, or if I hear
Speaker 2: literally any version of baby Please Come Home. Speaking of Christmas,
Speaker 2: Speaking of current I sincerely keep attempting to do a
Speaker 2: Christmas horror movie episode, but all this new entertainment keeps
Speaker 2: flooding my eyeballs and it's hard not to ride that wave.
Speaker 2: You ready, Let's get it on. I was a DC
Speaker 2: comics kid. Marvel had a healthy horror line and that's
Speaker 2: where most of my attention would rest if I was
Speaker 2: on the other side of the comics divide, but DC
Speaker 2: was the appealing one to me. The tone overall was
Speaker 2: just darker, certainly with my man Batman, even though during
Speaker 2: the late seventies he was basically James bonding around the
Speaker 2: globe and fighting ninjas. When that happened, I started getting
Speaker 2: into the less super heroic amongst the DC titles like
Speaker 2: House of Mystery or Sergeant Rock Sergeant. My God, what
Speaker 2: a book that led me to the point of this
Speaker 2: stroll down three color print nostalgia lane. Once you get
Speaker 2: into the Sarge, it isn't a stretch to get into
Speaker 2: books like Star Spangled War Stories or more importantly, weird
Speaker 2: war Tales. It was an anthology, Hello, hosted by Death.
Speaker 2: It was Walt Simonson's first title. Frank Miller got his
Speaker 2: start there. It was also the title that, near the
Speaker 2: end of its life.
Speaker 1: J M.
Speaker 2: Damtteus, who Do a Hell of a Run with Captain
Speaker 2: America during the nineteen eighties, created The Creature Commandos. Joe
Speaker 2: Kubert God bless him did the first cover, and Pat
Speaker 2: Broderick did the art. I'm saying all their names. Hell,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna throw len Ween in there. He was the
Speaker 2: editor at DC at the time. Those four guys created
Speaker 2: The Creature Commandos back in nineteen eighty. They didn't get
Speaker 2: cute little animated versions of themselves with a created by
Speaker 2: credit on the New Animated Show. So I just wanted
Speaker 2: to say their name out loud.
Speaker 1: J M.
Speaker 2: De Matteus, Joe Kubert, Pat Roderick, Lenn Ween. The comic
Speaker 2: took place during World War II, with the commandos based
Speaker 2: out of London. They weren't prisoners, by the way. Instead
Speaker 2: this is a dark mirror image of Marvel's Super Soldier program.
Speaker 2: Each of the commandos were turned into the creatures. The
Speaker 2: lineup is Sergeant Vincent Velcrow, which I love. They turned
Speaker 2: him into a vampire. Warren Griffith became a werewolf, though
Speaker 2: he doesn't need the moon to change. In fact, he
Speaker 2: really has no control at all. And Lucky Taylor, who
Speaker 2: stepped on a landmine and was Frankenstein back together into Frakenstein.
Speaker 2: A couple of issues in they'd fuck up a mission
Speaker 2: and turn a scientist into the Gorgan. She'd fill out
Speaker 2: their roster. These guys fought dinosaurs and Nazi robots, and
Speaker 2: I fucking loved them. So when James Gun announced not
Speaker 2: only was dc changing its logo back to the glorious
Speaker 2: seventies version, but the first phase was called Gods and Monsters,
Speaker 2: and then on top of them, the new DCU would
Speaker 2: begin with the Creature Commandos.
Speaker 3: General Flag, you found yourself in the middle of an international.
Speaker 2: Incident, Oh Princess.
Speaker 3: The United States is in the business of saving the
Speaker 3: damn world by any means necessary.
Speaker 4: What in the whole hellth.
Speaker 3: Conger said, we can't use human prisoners. These assholes aren't human.
Speaker 2: Do you understand me?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 5: Who is she?
Speaker 4: We call her the Bride?
Speaker 6: I was boon here.
Speaker 4: Who's Jason in the argonaut?
Speaker 3: That's doctor Phosphorus.
Speaker 2: Why are you doing that?
Speaker 7: It's business? What is that?
Speaker 3: That the weasel? We know it has what it takes
Speaker 3: to survive. That's Nina Mazerski Baboo. Last one is g
Speaker 3: I Robot Cheers.
Speaker 1: I know you all aren't exactly enthusiastic about this mission.
Speaker 6: I didn't realize I had a choice.
Speaker 2: Abe, you said you wanted me to be a hero.
Speaker 1: Not like that.
Speaker 4: Until we find out the truth of what's going on here,
Speaker 4: we're supposed to be on the same damn team.
Speaker 5: G a friend, Mina he shababes.
Speaker 7: Don't be so hyperbolically violent. You need therapy.
Speaker 5: You wanted monsters, you go, monsters die?
Speaker 2: Nazi?
Speaker 4: He's not a Nazi.
Speaker 2: Gi Oh okay, if you listen with any regularity, you
Speaker 2: know I think Marvel has forever dropped the ball when
Speaker 2: it comes to the supernatural. Even Thor's powers are scienced away.
Speaker 2: They're getting it together. But when I heard the Creature
Speaker 2: Commandos were the opening salvo at DC. I thought maybe
Speaker 2: Marvel's time might actually be up. And after seeing the
Speaker 2: first two episodes of the new animated Creature Commando series, No,
Speaker 2: probably not. I'm just gonna wait for the ghost Rider movie.
Speaker 2: Come on, Johnny Blaze, I'm counting on you now. Given
Speaker 2: the shakeup to the Guardians lineup, it was no surprise
Speaker 2: that these Commandos would have a whole new configuration. I mean,
Speaker 2: the original Guardians were Starhawk and Major, Victory and Nikki.
Speaker 2: It was James Gunn that assembled that group that we
Speaker 2: love right right now. That was Nicole Perlman. No one
Speaker 2: ever talks about miss Pelman. She was in the writer's
Speaker 2: program in the early days of the MCU, and when
Speaker 2: asked what characters she'd like to write about, she said
Speaker 2: the Guardians, and they were intrigued enough at her odd
Speaker 2: ball choice to let her assemble the team, which is
Speaker 2: what she did. Picking from the two thousand and nine
Speaker 2: rebooted Guardians, she boiled their fourteen characters down to five
Speaker 2: and then wrote the first draft of that script. Oh,
Speaker 2: it didn't have a Walkman in it. If you think
Speaker 2: the soundtrack is what makes the Guardians a good movie.
Speaker 2: You're out of your fucking mind. Gunn has said that
Speaker 2: the animated versions of these Commando characters and their live
Speaker 2: action counterparts will be interchangeable, which in fact is really
Speaker 2: cool because I would actually like to see these actors
Speaker 2: in these roles. Into the animator's credit, the character models
Speaker 2: could very easily be inhabited by the actors. I just
Speaker 2: want to see them in a movie written by somebody
Speaker 2: not named gun The animated lineup here are the Bride
Speaker 2: voiced and I guess played by Indira Varma. Doctor Phosphorus
Speaker 2: is Alan Tutek. Frankenstein is David Harber. He must have
Speaker 2: gotten the taste for Frankie with that weirdo Netflix Frankenstein
Speaker 2: thing he did. Frank Agrillo is Rick Flagg's senior and
Speaker 2: Sean Gunn as Weasel again and Gi Robot.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 2: I have a lot of problems with this show, but
Speaker 2: Gi Robot is not in any way one of them.
Speaker 2: Any character that's either regaling us with tales of Nazi
Speaker 2: killing or wondering when he'll be allowed to kill Nazis
Speaker 2: again is aces in my book. I'm gonna get him
Speaker 2: tattooed next to cap It's a wild improvement over the
Speaker 2: original character. I think most of Gun's humor is suspect,
Speaker 2: but his instinct here is right on overall. If you
Speaker 2: love that Suicide Squad movie he did, this is more
Speaker 2: of that. It's just a bunch of dicking around, a
Speaker 2: bunch of lame jokes, a bunch of lame dialogue, some
Speaker 2: cool set pieces and clumsy flashbacks meant to endear us
Speaker 2: to the characters, but are so fucking transparent it's genuinely shocking.
Speaker 2: I'm most likely in the minority on this one. I
Speaker 2: always seem to be when it comes to James Gunn
Speaker 2: and Christopher Nolan and Robert Eggers? Am I a snob? Good?
Speaker 2: I'm not hating just to hate. I think Gun is
Speaker 2: the right guy to be in charge of DC. I
Speaker 2: just want him to loosen the reins and let some
Speaker 2: other talented people in there who can, you know, make
Speaker 2: good movies and good TV shows. These are okay, but
Speaker 2: they should be fucking awesome. DC has all the potential.
Speaker 2: Did they lead with this because it was ready or
Speaker 2: because they knew Agatha all along was coming out? I
Speaker 2: don't know. It's a seven episode show and they've only
Speaker 2: released the first two episodes, so who knows it might
Speaker 2: get great? Is knowing that you're telling a multi episode
Speaker 2: story letting writers off the hook from writing a f
Speaker 2: fucking brilliant pilot. What do you think the ratio is
Speaker 2: for sustained series that you loved that started great versus
Speaker 2: ones that eased into greatness? I think that's worth considering.
Speaker 2: If you're high quiet you narcotics officer, what do you think? Listeners?
Speaker 2: Let me know your opinion, particularly if you're in ealing
Speaker 2: in the UK. That's right, it's a bit ripley. I'm
Speaker 2: calling out the areas in which we're getting a lot
Speaker 2: of downloads, so we're spot letting ealing this wintery week.
Speaker 2: How's life annealing? Is it anything like those comedies from
Speaker 2: the fifties? Let me know? Email is in the description.
Speaker 2: You better believe I'll read them on the air. Write
Speaker 2: me a letter, I'll read it. I am not getting
Speaker 2: you an ink well for Christmas. You can't hold a pen.
Speaker 2: Those aren't fingers, they're beads. HP. She's at it again,
Speaker 2: Thank you HP for the holidays. I'm sending you some thick,
Speaker 2: juicy steaks. What do you got? Hound Rip's pick puts
Speaker 2: me in a weird headspace. When I was thirteen, when
Speaker 2: I was twenty three, when I was thirty three, I
Speaker 2: would have died to see any filmed version of Alan
Speaker 2: Moore's Watchman. Just give me a crumb of visual effects,
Speaker 2: demo reel anything. The movies plural we're talking about tonight.
Speaker 2: When they were first announced, my thought was, do we
Speaker 2: really need another version of Watchmen?
Speaker 4: October thirteenth, nineteen eighty five, on Friday Night, a comedian
Speaker 4: died in New York.
Speaker 6: Somebody knows why these days nobody's safe.
Speaker 4: The comedian is dead. Why you're supposed to be the
Speaker 4: world's smartest man? Fight It was active for forty years.
Speaker 4: Men make a lot of enemies. In that time.
Speaker 1: Blake was a monster. We're society's only protection, protection from
Speaker 1: all from themselves. Who killed No, no, no no.
Speaker 4: Maybe this was a political killing, or maybe someone's picking
Speaker 4: off costa heroes.
Speaker 1: I thought I knew how the world was, but then.
Speaker 5: I found out about this gag.
Speaker 1: Hiding out shirtgun falls doesn't fit.
Speaker 6: Waiting for a flash of enlightenment. M A world grows
Speaker 6: up around me, But am I shaping it?
Speaker 1: I want to know behind that it's a joke, but
Speaker 1: I don't get it.
Speaker 5: Every day the future looks a little bit darker.
Speaker 6: The past.
Speaker 7: He's getting brighter all the time.
Speaker 6: I just late, always has been, always will.
Speaker 4: Be behind this.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: There is good and there is evil, and evil must
Speaker 4: be punished, even in the face of arm Again, I
Speaker 4: shall not compromise on this.
Speaker 6: I know what you're thinking.
Speaker 4: Or six shots or only five?
Speaker 2: Ipsey Castudias Castudio thus proclaimed one of the multitude of
Speaker 2: buttons that bestooned the lapels of my long duster coat
Speaker 2: in nineteen eighty seven, I had, in fact every Watchman
Speaker 2: button that VC had deigned to release officially. I had
Speaker 2: every bit of a merchandise, every volume, every issue there
Speaker 2: was to be had of Watchmen. The same year that
Speaker 2: Frank Miller was throttling comic book fan with the notion
Speaker 2: that Batman could get old and hurt, Alan Moore took
Speaker 2: a defunct line of Charlton Comics characters and reach with
Speaker 2: them each gen real world examination of what our world
Speaker 2: would be like with costume superheroes. The great fuckaroo here
Speaker 2: being that Allan Moore created the book with the understanding
Speaker 2: that when it went out of print, the characters would
Speaker 2: revert back to him. But even in years when the
Speaker 2: book wasn't selling, DC kept putting out new editions. Just
Speaker 2: one of the many reasons Alan Moore now lives on
Speaker 2: a farm and worships nature deities. I won't say I'm
Speaker 2: a defender of Zack Snyder's two thousand and nine live
Speaker 2: action adaptation. I am a champion of that film. As
Speaker 2: a visual translation from book to screen, it is unparalleled.
Speaker 2: That world is fully realized, and it has some solid
Speaker 2: goddamn casting choices. Who else but Jeffrey Dean Morgan could
Speaker 2: be the comedian, and what a coup was it? Having
Speaker 2: Jackie Earl Haley as a roarshack hell Billy cut Up
Speaker 2: is credible as Doctor Manhattan and Meelan Ackerman is in it,
Speaker 2: and Matthew Good is miscast. Sorry, Antonio will settle up
Speaker 2: over on Anthologies attacks next show. He is miscast. They
Speaker 2: should have cast a Jude Law someone Virol, and that
Speaker 2: movie manages a minor miracle. The book is sprawling and
Speaker 2: seemed impossible to adapt. I read the first adaptation of
Speaker 2: Watchman in nineteen eighty nine. That was Sam Ham, who
Speaker 2: had just written the Batman script for Tim Burton. That
Speaker 2: version jettison so much of the book it was virtually unrecognizable.
Speaker 2: Then it added an opening prologue that saw the Watchman
Speaker 2: in action at the Statue of Liberty, failing to stop
Speaker 2: a terrorist attack. Because you want to add scenes to
Speaker 2: a story that you're cutting seventy five percent of the
Speaker 2: original material out of. Over the next two decades, there
Speaker 2: were so many boneheaded attempts to turn it into a movie.
Speaker 2: The main problem is the ending of the book. Every
Speaker 2: single drest by every single different screenwriter had a newly
Speaker 2: concocted ending for the movie, including the Zack Snyder version.
Speaker 2: The difference between those early drafts and what we got
Speaker 2: was the new ending made perfect sense. The world needs
Speaker 2: to be united against a common foe. In the book,
Speaker 2: Osymandias creates that foe separate from the rest of the action,
Speaker 2: and it's only revealed in the final pages. It would
Speaker 2: have been incredibly jarring on screen and quite frankly unnecessary.
Speaker 2: What better foe is there than Doctor Manhattan. It doesn't
Speaker 2: excuse the fucking horrendous old age makeup on Carla Gugino,
Speaker 2: or on Jeffrey Dean Morgan, or the pitiful music choices.
Speaker 2: Was I making fun of James Gunn earlier, bite my tongue.
Speaker 2: And I know Zack Snyder can't allow an actor on
Speaker 2: set with less than three percent body fat. But Dan
Speaker 2: Dreiberg is supposed to be a middle aged fat man. Zack,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry he was fat. So then they released the
Speaker 2: director's cut. Then they released the motion c you know,
Speaker 2: panels from the comic with a few images kind of
Speaker 2: swaying around a little bit while an actor reads dreadful.
Speaker 2: Then they released the Tales of the Black Freighter anime. Bullshit,
Speaker 2: this isn't the order they released them in. By the way,
Speaker 2: don't email me about shit like this, please, My point being,
Speaker 2: oh wait no. Then they had that new HBO series
Speaker 2: set in the events after the comic book that wasn't
Speaker 2: in the movie continuity. It was the comic book continuity.
Speaker 2: Then there were a whole bunch of prequel comics that
Speaker 2: came out, the comedian Friends with the Kennedys ridiculous. So,
Speaker 2: like I said, even with Warner Brothers animation at the Helm,
Speaker 2: the idea of yet another Watchman adaptation was not exactly tantalizing.
Speaker 2: And this was going to be in two parts. Boy
Speaker 2: was I wrong? This is it. This is the one.
Speaker 2: If you want to see a filmed adaptation of Watchmen,
Speaker 2: skip everything else and watch these two movies. The voice
Speaker 2: cast is perfect, there is no one miscast, and because
Speaker 2: it's two movies, the characters are given the room to
Speaker 2: actually interact and pause and amote with one another. You
Speaker 2: see why they like each other and why we like them.
Speaker 2: And Watchman was always a mystery. Every version has paid
Speaker 2: a bit of lip service to that. This one pursues it,
Speaker 2: and even as steeped in the comic as I am,
Speaker 2: I thought the investigation here was fairly riveting. The adaptation
Speaker 2: is by J. Michael Strazinsky. Midnight viewing listeners will recognize
Speaker 2: the name from his time over on Twilight Zone eighty five.
Speaker 2: He'd of course go on to create Babylon five. If
Speaker 2: I've said anything again him in the past, it's mood.
Speaker 2: Here he's doing a fucking fantastic job, improving on the
Speaker 2: comic's dialogue wholesale and reorganizing scenes to maximum dramatic effect.
Speaker 2: And it doesn't skimp on the bits that made the
Speaker 2: comic book special. I know Snyder tried to weave in
Speaker 2: the tail of the Black Freighter comic by literally cutting
Speaker 2: to a fucking horribly animated version from time to time
Speaker 2: in the film. It was awful and jarring and took
Speaker 2: you out of the movie. Watch the theatrical cut of
Speaker 2: Snyder's movie, if you're going to watch it. The kid
Speaker 2: is reading the comic book. Here we've get the kid
Speaker 2: reading the comic book, and we get close ups of
Speaker 2: the pertinent panels with narration, But then we cut to
Speaker 2: other scenes where the comic book word balloons appear over
Speaker 2: the actions of other characters, and the narration continues. It's
Speaker 2: a nifty effect, making all the bizarro connections you know
Speaker 2: that Alan Moore layered in these films retain the comic
Speaker 2: book's original ending. If you don't know it, I'm not
Speaker 2: spoiling it because I am very curious to see if
Speaker 2: it worked on you. Even in the book, it was
Speaker 2: tough to get immediately behind, but I swear watching it
Speaker 2: come to life here, it totally would have worked in
Speaker 2: live action. It would have been haunting. Actually special shout
Speaker 2: out to the voice of Doctor Manhattan. That's Michael Servers.
Speaker 2: He was a Sweeney Todd back when they did that
Speaker 2: as a concert. Marvelous singing voice marvelous voice in general,
Speaker 2: he absolutely nails the detachment in wonder of that character,
Speaker 2: and Titus Welliver would be a great roar shack in
Speaker 2: any media. Oh and Katie's Sakoff is brilliant as well
Speaker 2: as Silk Spector. Look at you, Katie Sakoff, just muscling
Speaker 2: your way into every goddamn franchise. Good for you? Is
Speaker 2: she in a Marvel film yet? I'm sure it's on
Speaker 2: the way. Part one of Watchmen is on Max. Part
Speaker 2: two is available for purchase, but it'll be on Max
Speaker 2: soon enough. I'm shocked I enjoyed it as much as
Speaker 2: I did. I have quipples about it. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 2: it would have been nice to have the whole thing
Speaker 2: animated by hand, or at least given another six months
Speaker 2: to render into absolute beauty. But the designs are great
Speaker 2: and the action is solid, and the colors are popping,
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna shut up. We got one Mornago ripping.
Speaker 2: Then it's time for a boiled egg. Oh, someone's ears
Speaker 2: just perked up? Are yours perked up?
Speaker 7: Too?
Speaker 2: They shouldn't be. It's Dear Santa.
Speaker 5: Every Christmas, something magical happens when a kid sends a
Speaker 5: letter to Santa, but Lea to Santo is a crappy speller.
Speaker 1: This looks like fun.
Speaker 7: Oh that's the hugest thank you.
Speaker 2: What do you want?
Speaker 1: You summoned me?
Speaker 7: Not what I expected. What do you expect? In the movies?
Speaker 3: The render used to have the antler.
Speaker 2: It's not you, kidder, you high I'm ready.
Speaker 1: You lucked out big times. I'm way better than Santa.
Speaker 1: Oh oh freaking oh, you, my friend, are getting three wishes?
Speaker 2: They stole that from me.
Speaker 1: By the way, after you make your wishes, I'm taking
Speaker 1: your soul. You ain't never had a friend like me.
Speaker 1: Okay that I may have stolen from Aladdin? Now, or
Speaker 1: even let me show you a few of the things
Speaker 1: that could do for you.
Speaker 5: I'll be right back.
Speaker 2: It's post alone.
Speaker 7: Look, I'm more insane. It's going to trucks getting.
Speaker 5: I think he's just confused.
Speaker 1: Please believe you. He trusts.
Speaker 7: Yo down here, what are you waiting for?
Speaker 3: Go make a move?
Speaker 4: See me at thirsty.
Speaker 2: I tried everything.
Speaker 1: That kid's incorruptible.
Speaker 5: What about doing something out of kindness?
Speaker 1: I don't even know what you've just said. I mean,
Speaker 1: I know all the words, but I just never heard
Speaker 1: him in that order.
Speaker 2: You know this man, I'm his uncle.
Speaker 1: Beat it. Who do you think you.
Speaker 2: Are talking to me like that?
Speaker 1: That doesn't sound right?
Speaker 7: Thought me.
Speaker 1: Watch this, Please trust the thought. You just gambled lost estimates.
Speaker 1: Yet the pleasure was mine.
Speaker 2: Jack Black plus Christmas equals the Holiday from two thousand
Speaker 2: and seven with Kate Winslet and Jude Law and Cameron Diaz.
Speaker 2: That's the Christmas movie with Jack Black. You should watch
Speaker 2: this thing.
Speaker 6: Oh, I know.
Speaker 2: This is the script that those guys wrote, those guys
Speaker 2: being the Farily Brothers and Jack Black and Rigg Black.
Speaker 2: Back in the early nineteen eighties, a guy named Jericho
Speaker 2: Stone wrote a treatment for a film about a little
Speaker 2: girl whose father had just remarried years after his wife
Speaker 2: her mother passed away. The stepmother is the picture of
Speaker 2: sweetness until she gets alone with the girl, and then
Speaker 2: she's fucking horrible, horrendous. And because no one but the
Speaker 2: little girl sees this and no one believes her, she
Speaker 2: begins to believe that the stepmother turns into a whole
Speaker 2: other creature. She decides, in fact, that her stepmother must
Speaker 2: be an alien. Here's a synopsis of the movie they
Speaker 2: made with Dan Ackroyd and Kim Basinger trying to rescue
Speaker 2: her home planet from destruction. A gorgeous extraterrestrial named Celeste
Speaker 2: arrives on Earth and begins her scientific research. She woos
Speaker 2: quirky scientist doctor Steve Mills, a widower with a young daughter.
Speaker 2: Before long, Celeste finds herself in love with Steve and
Speaker 2: her new life on Earth, where she experiences true intimacy
Speaker 2: for the first time. Quite a leap. Huh, that's the
Speaker 2: feeling I got watching Dear Santa. It's about an awkward, misfit,
Speaker 2: dyslexic boy who accidentally sends his letter to Santa instead
Speaker 2: to Satan, and Satan shows up and will grant three wishes,
Speaker 2: at which point he'll own the kid's soul. And the
Speaker 2: kid's parents are on the verge of splitting up, and
Speaker 2: the girl he likes is an interested and his best
Speaker 2: friend has horrendous dental problems. Everything I just described appears
Speaker 2: in this movie. Think of all the promise in those premises.
Speaker 2: I'm not the biggest Fairly Brothers fan, but if they
Speaker 2: had made this in the nineties, it would have been
Speaker 2: the raunchiest Christmas movie ever made. I'd expect a movie
Speaker 2: whose plot is predicated on a joke about dyslexia would
Speaker 2: have a black heart at its center. Instead, it's a
Speaker 2: gentle Christmas movie. They want to actually tug at your
Speaker 2: heartstrings instead of ripping them out, which is what the
Speaker 2: movie really wants. This isn't a Genie or the Ghost
Speaker 2: of Christmas whatever. It's the fucking devil, and the only
Speaker 2: mischief he can think up is making the officious prick
Speaker 2: of a teacher fart a lot. I get it, it's
Speaker 2: a kid's movie, but there's no reason to invoke our
Speaker 2: dark Lord if you're not gonna let him run riot.
Speaker 2: They may as well have animated a snowman or one
Speaker 2: of those fucking elves from the mystic Land of Shelves.
Speaker 2: If you want to see what this movie actually wanted
Speaker 2: to be, go check out the segment The Knight and
Speaker 2: Billy Raised Hell from the anthology film Tales of Halloween.
Speaker 2: It's directed by Darren Lynn Boozman the repo genetic opera Fella.
Speaker 2: It's about a young boy who's goaded on by Satan
Speaker 2: to commit worse and worse tricks on the community during Halloween.
Speaker 2: It's a fucking spectacle and it has way more spark
Speaker 2: in a few seconds than this entire flick. I think
Speaker 2: a movie about Christmas dealing with outsiders and fractured families
Speaker 2: and grief could be great, fucking necessary actually, and this
Speaker 2: film is trying, but there's just too much weight and
Speaker 2: the guys behind Stuck on You aren't exactly up to
Speaker 2: the task. And clearly a bunny movie between a nine
Speaker 2: year old and Satan is a great idea. This film
Speaker 2: does have its charms. The kids are uniforms Disney kid
Speaker 2: over eagerness, and they're really natural. And Keegan Michael Key
Speaker 2: shows up is one of the film's view antagonists. And
Speaker 2: Jack Black is having fun, but he tends to do
Speaker 2: that no matter what he's in. So maybe do something
Speaker 2: better next time, Jack, Maybe next time we'll do a
Speaker 2: Christmas horror movie. We really shouldn't be keeping Joan Collins waiting.
Speaker 2: Thank you Midnight viewers for lending us your ears. If
Speaker 2: if you want these episodes early and commercial free, head
Speaker 2: over to patreon dot com slash follom alone. Subscribers will
Speaker 2: also get bonus content HP. This show's composer and host
Speaker 2: of his own fantastic podcast Night Mister Walters, a taxi podcast,
Speaker 2: will be joining me on some of those shows, and
Speaker 2: we're pretty excited about them. Those will only be for
Speaker 2: the Patreon listeners or if money is tight tight this
Speaker 2: is Christmas, then you can make my Christmas wish come
Speaker 2: true by giving us five stars and giving us positive
Speaker 2: write ups and sharing the show and telling other people
Speaker 2: join us this Thursday for a new Anthologies attack. I
Speaker 2: think we're doing pink flamingos on that episode, which is
Speaker 2: going to be a blast. Until next time, we'll leave
Speaker 2: you with a bit of wisdom from Watchmen.
Speaker 1: In thirty years, the nukes are going to be flying
Speaker 1: like Mayhawks, and Izzie she's going to be the smartest
Speaker 1: man on the sittre