Speaker 1: M Cool Growth and Simulation, Growth and Simulation.
Speaker 2: Sam triple.
Speaker 3: We're in it, Sam triple A.
Speaker 4: We're in it, dude. We're in it to win it.
Karate freaking chop, We're in it to win it. What what?
Speaker 3: What didn't win it?
Speaker 4: I have to say, See, I'm just not going to
give you any energy, Johnny, because I'm going to be
a grown man and take my loss, unlike you like
being a little bitch. What loss?
Speaker 3: I don't remember any loss? Yeah, of course you don't
remember when I just wreck you fantasy basket. Dude.
Speaker 4: Wreck is a really strong word, Johnny. You won five
to three. A couple of them you only won by
a point or two. Yeah, five to three, Yeah, yeah, Johnny,
that's barely winning. And that thing you could eat it,
you could. The only like that's the most cheapest win
is of five to three. If ubb seven to one
or eight to zero, that'd be dominating. This is not
pre recorded. This is not we are in it.
Speaker 3: Okay, who would like if if this was pre recorded,
we would.
Speaker 4: Would we drop it at nine and night?
Speaker 3: Yeah, we would drop it. Well. Ex G just dropped
the last.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean x G just waits as long as
you can while the other guy puts it out instantly. Yeah,
people who don't even get paid put it out quicker
than retard ex.
Speaker 3: Chief actually has to edit all that shit out, and
that guy does not do that. But no, No, what
I was gonna say was, even if it had been
a tie four to four, I would have won because
I was higher in the regular season. So really I
could have won even less than I won and still won.
Speaker 4: Yeah one way. Okay. That means like, on a list
of ways to win, you took the second easiest way. Okay.
Speaker 3: I mean it's not like there are many options. There's
two or three more above that.
Speaker 4: But yes, okay, good Johnny, Congratulations. I'm I'm gonna get
into it because you're so ridiculous gross. I'm just starting.
Speaker 3: There, and you sound like you had been like running
and gunning tired.
Speaker 4: I'm always tired, Johnny. I have no days off. I
never get a day off.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just grind do you okay, real question? Serious?
Do you do you have a sabbath day that you keep?
Speaker 4: I want to so bad when I quit comedy, I
will be sabbathing at like a mofo.
Speaker 3: You won't hear from me, and that like you pick
a day. I don't think the day really matters.
Speaker 4: Let's me Friday, but that never happens and everything just
ends up getting built busy again.
Speaker 3: Okay, because my dad dude worked harder than anybody evenue,
and he would take one day. In the words of Alabama,
is the one day my daddy didn't work. It was Sunday.
Speaker 4: One day my daddy didn't work. He used to go
bang this chick down street.
Speaker 3: That is not Alabama.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: The country music fans in the chatnt.
Speaker 4: I know, someone says you're working too hard? I am,
I am?
Speaker 3: Are you are working too hard?
Speaker 4: Hot topics?
Speaker 3: You seem to be in the mood for I wasn't
sure about the hot topic, but after seeing your mood,
I have.
Speaker 4: Some stories today I want to I didn't get to
tell last week.
Speaker 3: Right on, all right, we'll just do the hot topic
then stories. So this will not help your mood, but
I think it's appropriate for your mood.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: This we found out now, I think who we elected
to president and it turns out it was Ted Spruz.
Check this out. This is we voted for Donald Trump,
but this is this asshole is who we got.
Speaker 4: This Canadian piece of shit.
Speaker 3: True, Yeah, He's a Canadian piece of shit.
Speaker 4: Like I got, like, dude, what is I mean?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 4: At any point do we go just hey enough with
the crazy?
Speaker 3: Can we rein it in just a little bit?
Speaker 4: Immediately?
Speaker 1: With President Trump, the day before the strikes happened.
Speaker 3: Can you explain to us what the reasoning and the
Russian are for this war?
Speaker 4: Sure?
Speaker 6: Look, I I urged the President to launch this attack.
As you noted, I was with him pretty much the
entire day.
Speaker 4: On Friday, I wasn't on the front line.
Speaker 6: And so we were on Air Force one and we
were flying down to Texas to Corpus CHRISTI at a
big event planning Corpus Christie. So I was on the
plane with them, and then he asked asked me to
hop in in the beast, two of us, one on one,
and pretty much the whole time he was asking me
what I thought we should do on Iran? Uh, And
I said, look, I think I think we should. We
should not miss this moment. I think the regime is
weaker than it ever has been and we have an opportunity.
If we can collapse this regime, America will be much
much safer. There are very few things on planet Earth
that would do more to make improve American national security
as as much as seeing this regime collapse. And he
asked me it in the beast. He said, well, look,
do you think we should negotiate further? And I said no.
I said, I don't believe they're negotiating in good faith.
They're liars. I think the Iotola just wants to delay
and delay and delay while they rebuild. And I said,
as far as I'm concerned, the only deal you should
be willing to take is the same deal you offered Maduro.
And Trump offered Maduro if he wanted to leave the country,
he could go into exile and he would be allowed
to live out the rest of his days if.
Speaker 4: He we got to punch his wife in the face.
Speaker 6: And Maduro said no. And I suspect Maduro regrets saying
no now. And I said, I could live with that
deal for the Ietola to give him and the Malas
the same choice. You can leave and allow a new
regime to come to power in Iran, or if you
don't leave, the alternative is going to be less than pleasant.
Speaker 4: So can we just start off by the most annoying
thing about Ted Cruz is his tea arms. I mean
he has. I mean, it's so annoying. He's always like
and I'm just saying, okay, what I And it's like,
how does he wipe his fat ass with those tiny
ass arms? Does he reach around far enough to get
in his bunghole with those tiny, tiny arms.
Speaker 3: Of his that's your takeaway.
Speaker 4: It's so freaking annoying. I hate it. Dude. Every time
he talks, he like he like most people like this
is like arm. That's as far as Ted Cruise can
go with his fucking arms. I just don't even know.
I probably can't even cut his other tip with his
arm because it's so short. It's so annoying to me.
It just drives me nuts. Watch the watch the watch
the Tucker Carlson. He's like, look how short those tiny
arms are.
Speaker 3: Right, he's got a little chicken wings.
Speaker 4: Dude, it's so annoying to me when fat people have
short arms, especially fat Zionist.
Speaker 3: There's so much troubling about this. Okay, so it tells
you to rex maxing. He's the rex Maxing. Despite what
the President says or said, has told us, he did
not know what the hell he was gonna do until
the very last minute, because he was having this guy
in the car with him up until he made the
decision to go in, so he hadn't decided. No, there
was no resolution about this. It was whoever. It's what
they've said about this guy since the beginning Trump. Whoever
has his ear last, is who who has the most
sway over him? And I mean you, if it's Ted Cruz,
You're getting Ted Cruz. He's If you voted for Donald Trump,
you got Ted Cruz as your president. Congratulations.
Speaker 4: I mean, dude, just imagine being Ted Cruz sitting there
talking him about war when you know during the during
the election, he just lit you up so badly sucked him. Yeah,
I mean just cocked him, dude, just took him in
his little arms, bent him over and just got deep
knuckled deep in there, dude.
Speaker 3: And then trusts him now he trusts him on Iran.
Speaker 4: Because listen, he's been inside me and he's a gentle lover.
So I trust this guy. He didn't hurt me going
so deep.
Speaker 3: It's just so I mean, I I didn't. I never
liked the President. I have to say I've never had
faith in him, but for a while it seemed like
maybe he was gonna just to spite the Left, was
gonna do some really good shit. And I mean it
just he's pissed. I don't only want dwell on, he's
just pissed.
Speaker 4: So Johnny, this is the whole thing. It's just like,
you know, like he didn't even know what he was doing.
Maybe or this is all prophesies and part of the plan.
Speaker 3: It ain't his plan though, dude.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, I'm not saying it's his plan.
I think he's part of the prophecy and he's just
getting pushed along as part of this ridiculous bs that
these crazy fucking hockey puck head fucking jay's are pushing
on everybody.
Speaker 3: See, it was interesting, Jake was he didn't see anything
that they had as much power as you suggest.
Speaker 4: And I and you know, I respect him, he's very
knowledgeable on it. But when you see them constantly at
the White House with him all the freaking time, who
else do you see there? Do you see it he's
supposedly a Jesuit. Do you see a lot of Catholics
there surrounded by him praying?
Speaker 3: That's a really good point.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, it's like stupid and like this is
the whole thing going on Twitter right now. You and
I don't agree on whether he's a live or dead
Oh blah blah by I had to interview today. Okay,
I know, Johnny, we've already discussed that.
Speaker 3: Okay, but I mean, he was live outdoors.
Speaker 4: I got you.
Speaker 3: He was live or not live, but he was outdoors
at that bomb site.
Speaker 4: That's fine.
Speaker 3: So well, one of two things are true.
Speaker 4: Either it takes to clone somebody I'm fine with.
Speaker 3: Or he's cloned but he's out there. There is a
net Yahoo.
Speaker 4: I'm just saying this net Yahu looks way too pretty
for a guy just got pulled out rubble. That's all
that video.
Speaker 3: Though I saw that video. You're thinking that that was fake.
Speaker 4: That was a I everything. Everything's AI. Everything's not AI. Everything.
It's fine. I don't care, and I just don't give
a share. Yeah, I just don't. I don't care, Johnny,
I don't care. I don't care. I don't care because
it doesn't matter. It's like we're gonna site here and
argue all fucking day about it. It doesn't matter, but
you do argue. You love it. I don't want to
get into the point is, okay, okay, there we go,
all right, finish.
Speaker 3: Your let's skip this. I'm happy, I'm happy to.
Speaker 4: But it's just like all this stuff is prophecy, and
it's just like they're trying to force this thing down
everybody's throats. And I just don't think it's going well
for them. I I I really don't. I think we
just have this notion that they're just gonna be able
to do whatever they want. It's gonna happen, and I
don't think so. I don't. I think it's not going
well for them.
Speaker 1: Who thinks it's.
Speaker 3: Going well for them?
Speaker 4: Though? I mean, you go on Twitter, all the ziobots
are just like, oh Trump is crushing it, dude, He's
pulling at one hundred percent, Like maga go one.
Speaker 3: Hundred percent polling is what CNN head that was? That
was unbelievable.
Speaker 4: I mean, just after Barry Weiss takes over, he's at
one hundred percent. I mean that chick is just a
plague like anything she touches turns the ship.
Speaker 3: Here it is right here, check us out. This is
just I mean, do they.
Speaker 4: Really you are entering North Korea propaganda right now?
Speaker 7: Dude?
Speaker 3: There it is yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 4: You know, sometimes you look at the polling data and
there are numbers that just jump off the screen at you.
Oh yeah, this is one of those. Because just take
a look here, MAGA, GOP, all these guys. If we
live in a proper country.
Speaker 6: If you are a member of MAGA and the GOP
you approve of Donald John Trump.
Speaker 4: Zero, listen that stop, stop it play that again. This
is propaganda. Listen to what he said right before that, and.
Speaker 6: The GOP you approve of Donald Johns.
Speaker 4: Did you hear that? He's literally telling you what to
think right there. If you are a part of MEGA
you approve of Donald Trump, that is propaganda, dude. That
is the most of Saint yet. I mean, we are
North Korea. I remember I did. I forget whose show
I did, but it was more of a left leaning
show and they had I forget her name, but she
like basically went to Russia. She lives in Russia now.
And we were talking and I said something and she
rolled her eyes at me. But I said, we're probably
the most propagandaized country outside of North Korea, and she
rolled her eyes and I believe it, dude, I mean, listen,
I mean that guy just said it right fucking there,
will you if you are a part of Mega, I'm
a part of Mega. You approve of Donald Trump? I
approve of Donald Trump. That I mean, dude, that was
the great and stuff like, they're not even creative about it.
That was some ninety nineteen eighty four shit right there.
Holy shit. And dude, if we live in the proper society,
all those dudes would be on the gallows, all them dude.
That dude, that that queen right there, that dude should
be swinging in the wind for treason. Dude, Damn bro,
I can't believe that the wind.
Speaker 3: For totally agree.
Speaker 4: There's no left or right, It's totally. It's so crazy,
it's so crazy. That was the most shocking bullshit I've
ever seen in my life. I don't.
Speaker 3: I mean, and they they're really undercutting themselves because they're
making it so that they've kind of counterfeited the news
so that everybody, even the people who bought it for
so long, are now going to walk away from it shortly.
Speaker 4: Johnny one hundred percent. I mean, I don't know a
lot of people that are behind this war.
Speaker 3: No nobody, nobody, dude.
Speaker 4: If you're a part of megot you're one hundred percent
behind Donald Trump. I'm one hundred percent behind Donald Trump.
It's like unbelievable. But and again, this is what I'm
saying with all these idiots on the internet trying to
blame podcasts for Trump getting in. Trump was getting in, dude,
And I do believe this in my heart that he
was sent in to discredit those podcasts because they knew
this was coming. This is what they were gonna do,
and they want and this is why they're pushing so
hard on Oh, these these right wing podcasts have got
Trump in. That's why they're pushing the narrative. That's the
second part of the plan. We can't control the thing,
but we're gonna try to destroy the brands that have
taken the reins of influence from us. Okay, the reason
podcasts are doing so well, it's why Tim Dillon is
crushing it. Okay, because he is a lighthouse in a
sea of shit. People trust what he's saying because he's
on the road. He's been right way more than he's
been wrong. And I'm not even saying he's been wrong
about things. I'm just saying he's been way more right
than he's been wrong. And I'm telling everybody this. You
can say whatever you want about Candace Owens, you can
say it. You could say she's controlled off, she's whatever.
But if she was wrong the way that friends of
mine says she's wrong, if she was that wrong, she
would have no audience. Look at Ben Ben what's his face?
Ben Shapiro? Look at Ben Shapiro like he's losing people.
Every week in the thousands of are unsubscribing from them.
His numbers have died because he can't buy ads anymore,
because the Daily Wires a shallow what he used to be,
because everyone knows, everyone knows that they're they're just bought
and sold. And you got these Zionists on it on
Twitter trying to make Qatar funding a thing. I don't
even give a shit. I know, guy funded by Russia,
he got money from Russia to new stuff. I don't
give a shit.
Speaker 3: What is that you mean? Like Qatar is buying like
Tucker and people like that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Qatar is sending money to Tucker. Therefore we shouldn't
trust anything he's saying. While while while Israel is buddy,
I mean literally in ISRAELI is buying all the news
up like, what are your governument, our whole government, what
are you fucking talking about? We're supposed to care, you know,
I'm with you. It's like unbelievable, dude, the way these
people are just gaslighting fucking everything. They're just trying to
get you not to believe your eyes and your ears
in the wisdom of your experiences. They want you to
forget about the USS liberty nine to eleven JFK, right,
they want you to forget all that shit. They want
you to forget about APEX, none that matters. And they're
just absolutely insane, dude, Like they're like, oh my god,
I ran using illegal bombs and shooting up civilians. You're like, yeah,
where have I heard that before? Where have I heard
that before? Johnny? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I mean every time they've tried to do this shit, yeah, Gaza, yeah, Gaza,
And every time Israel has been involved in a conflict
for the past, you know, since nineteen forty eight basically
they've had.
Speaker 4: It's just unbelievable event, unbelievable. In the name of Jesus Christ,
I rebuke you. You see that.
Speaker 3: I saw the Chinese professor guy was saying what you
were saying about how they are, which that guy is interesting.
I we should talk about him sometimes. But how they
are excavating underneath the dome of the Rock, you know
where the temple would be, the third Temple. Yeah, and
to do a false flag yeah, and how does that
help them?
Speaker 4: That destroys it and then they and then they get
to build their temple.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but the Holy War is on then then then
you're talking apocalypto. I mean it's bad, baby, It's bad.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I mean it's just and dude, they're just
came back like Iran's like. Iran's like, we're we're telling
you what we're hitting. Iran's like, if we didn't, we
would tell y'all. They're like, we didn't hit Diego Garcia.
Why it doesn't do us any good? Dude, If I
was Iran, I would just there's an old saying, never
getting away of your enemy destroying themselves. Iran's just sitting
back watch this, dude, as they keep false flagging to
the end of days and it's not working. And I
said this on the last show I just did a
couple of minutes ago. I'm growth show.
Speaker 3: Poor she was just always podcasting. I feel so bad
for you.
Speaker 4: You weren't those shows I like doing, So I don't
I like going.
Speaker 3: On you just don't like doing your own shows.
Speaker 4: I'm doing my own show. What are you talking about?
Speaker 3: No, I mean you said those shows I like doing.
Speaker 4: It's well, I mean like doing an extra podcast. You know,
it's it's like you know, I mean, I love doing it.
So I don't want anyone to think I don't like
doing it. It's just, you know, you only have so
many hours in the day. I'm trying to say I
love doing other people's show. I don't want to think
I don't like doing their shows. I like doing their shows.
I don't want that to be any intermistation.
Speaker 3: I'm tessing you're tired, like from working.
Speaker 4: Oh, I wake up tired, I go to bed tired.
I'm always tired. I mean, it's just the way it is, dude.
So but anyways, so, I mean again, it's just it's
just like Israel could not even do it, and they're
still gonna get blamed for it. And it's not because
of anti Semitism, it's because of history. It's three sais.
They're always behind these They've been fall flagging since the
beginning of time.
Speaker 3: They're the Steven Avery of fucking war crimes. You know,
something happens in that neighborhood, we're gonna go knock in
on their door first.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, the Averys were so shady, dude. Yeah, they
were so shady. It's just crazy to me. It's just
crazy we get to I mean, dude, you remember when
one of these rabbis were like the ant the Messiah's
coming on Thursday, Like he put a date in the calendar.
He's supposed to be around three pm.
Speaker 3: So funny, dude. And they're never like nobody obviously, I mean,
nobody's ever been right except that one time. You know,
it's like unbelievable.
Speaker 4: And now the whole thing Johnny is and this is
I like Twitter a lot, Johnny. I've been going fucking well,
I don't know what considered viral is, but I mean
like once a week I've been hitting and I wouldn't
say every once a week, but I've been hitting a
million views on Twitter a couple of times. I haven't
seen that since forever.
Speaker 3: That's good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, it's a blessing. I'll get into three hundred
thousands a lot, you know, but oh my god, I
keep forgetting what I'm talking about. That's how tired I am.
I'm always forgetting what I'm tough. But going back to Twitter,
whatever Twitter is, it's the greatest equalizer of all time.
And you could say they're doing it on purpose so
they can find this, this and that. That might be fine.
I don't know, but man, it's opened up the dialogue, dude,
it's opened up the dialogue. And it's fucking crazy to watch.
And no matter how many army of bots they're sending,
they just can't compete. Dude, if you're on the wrong
side of common sense, you can't. Mean.
Speaker 3: Have you gone in any of these high profile people
like nen Yahoo or the President and looked in their
mentions If you want to see where the bots go
to war, it's of these height like Nen Yahoo, Trump,
any of our major senators, Like if you go into
their mentions, it's just you can see what all the
bots agendas are because they all have memes within a
similar vein that are getting churned out of some you know,
fact meme factory somewhere.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 3: It's it's crazy, dude. And the memes are all pretty
good now too, And I assume they're all being generated
by AI uh, unless you have some kind of which
they did say that a I wouldn't be able to
do memes, but a lot of it.
Speaker 4: But dude, it's getting crazy. I'm sorry, dude. This is
the best time to be alive, even though we're probably
all gonna die, but it's the best time to be alive.
It really is the best time to be alive. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 3: Shit is happening, that's for sure. You're not bored. I mean, dude,
remember when we would have to struggle for shit to
talk about, like topical stuff.
Speaker 4: I mean, there's just more information than ever. Dude.
Speaker 3: When we first started doing this show, it was a
real like I kept I keep a note you know,
on my phone that I update throughout the week so
we have topics to talk about with links and stuff.
And it used to be like I was digging around
on Reddit offbeat to fund shit to talk about. And
now it's I mean, we won't get to a third
of the stuff I have on this list because there's
just so much shit happening all the time, so much shit.
You said you had a story, We'll get back to
all that later. You've got stories. What's going on?
Speaker 4: Yeah, dude. So recently, I had a friend of mine
and this is what happens to me all the time. Dude.
I'll do a show I have a friend, They'll be like, hey, dude,
I want to come to your show, and I'm like, sweet, bro,
come to my show. And so I did a show
last Friday at the Comedy Store, and I showed up
in my new shirt, my Caucasian shirt, which is the
Redskins logo but with oh yeah, yeah yeah, And it's
basically it's a you always see the memes Hey dear
white people, does this shirt put piss you off? And
always makes me laugh? And then I realize it's just
a marketing thing to promote the shirt. So anyways, I
got to show up already people are just staring at it.
They get so angry. Even comics like it's very weird.
I see comedians who get like offended by a joke shirt.
What are you? Comedy store? The comedy store has been
fired lately. It's very weird. The comedy store crowds have
been fire lately. And this one was just a weird one.
I was just watching everyone go on stage and just
get mad at the crowd. They were just getting mad
at the crowd. I'm like, damn, it's one of those crowds. Huh.
So some ways, I go up and I'm doing stand
up and I'm working on some new jokes and they're
just bombing dude, and it gets to the point where
I just want to start ripping the crowd. And I
start ripping the crowd and then they start laughing. So okay,
they're laughing. I go back to doing jokes, nothing, start
ripping them again. They start going crazy, and I'm like,
you guys just want me to ike Turner. You that's
all you want me to do. You want me to
beat you. It's the only reason you're laughing. And it's
basically because this like it's all they see is crowd
working now on Instagram and TikTok, and that's what they
want to see. They want to see people lighting them up,
and you gotta do it. But again, like I just said,
Richard Gross show like they are, the greatest hour of
stand up is storytelling. We're gonna lose that if it's
just becomes CrowdWork, and then every comic's gonna have to
CrowdWork the crowd. So if you're like sticks up it's
all over. Yeah, it's weird.
Speaker 3: So anyways, what we talked about to say, briefly, we
talked about it on TFH, and my theory is that
part of that is the result of roast culture, like
roast becoming so popular. Do you think that's part of
what it is?
Speaker 4: Is?
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, for sure that end though, right, Like
you're right, like, because think about it, there's nobody like
who had a crowd work, specially on night was it
like like maybe like never Robert Klein maybe had one
where he talked to the crowd a little, but it's not.
Speaker 4: I mean, the first comic I remember doing just CrowdWork
was Ian Bagg and he was great at He's been
doing it thirty years, you know. And then then then
Rick Ingram was doing at the Comedy Store a lot.
But those are the only ones now. It's like everybody
And I was saying this, dude, I go on the road, Dude,
if you feature for me and you CrowdWork, I'm gonna
lose my fucking mind. I'm gonna lose my fucking You're
not there the crowd work. Fucking do jokes. I just
do joke happening a lot. No, I mean no, because
I bring my own people. I'm not bringing one dude,
but Tavia this weekend coming up this Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
I got a funny guy out of Chicago that I
know for a while, I've known for years. But you know,
I just like, when I go in the road, I go,
don't CrowdWork, dude, write fucking jokes, get better at joke writing,
and then go from there. I'm not I'm not taking
Larry King on the fucking crowd.
Speaker 3: It seems that women wrote actually like CrowdWork.
Speaker 4: Women. Yeah, the problem is it's like nobody like it's
like again if like if it's even bag doing it,
it's like it's it's our. Everything else is through monkey's
throwing shit against the wall, you know.
Speaker 3: So it is not Tea.
Speaker 4: I literally have I literally have a fifteen minute set
from the Comedy Store that was all CrowdWork. I'm gonna
I'm gonna put out X She's putting captions on it,
and it's just gonna be called Monkeys throwing Shit against Wall.
It's gonna be called monkeys throwing shit. That's the name
of the album, the Special because it's just the word.
I mean, and the problem is, I'm really great at
crowd work when I want to do it, but it's
just like the art is joke. The highest form of
stand up is storytelling. So anyways, I do this show,
I'm like, up there, I'll do joke, I'll do some
well rind shit nothing. Then then when I really want
pound on stuff, my my reread bit. Okay, can we
say that word.
Speaker 3: We know what you're talking about.
Speaker 4: Okay, the rereas will call them. I do my re
rebit crushes. At the end, I get off stage and
the chick's in the corner. She's like, hey you come here.
I'm like, oh god, cause I ended my set with hey,
thank you. I'm dang cook, right, and I leave and
she's like, hey, dank Cook, come here. I'm like, okay,
So I walk up and she goes, I had to
tell you something. You were so funny that last bit.
You were great except for the woman's part. That part
is not real, okay, so you shouldn't do that part.
The rest of it's great, keep it the rest of it.
And I just looked at her and then she's leaning over.
She's got these fat puppies, just giant fat puppies, and
she's just like leaning over it just to get her
cleavag rocking. I just look at her and I go,
you have great tits, and just walk right off. You
have great tits.
Speaker 3: Did you see the reaction? And she just dropped the mic.
Speaker 4: I just they all start laughing and high five in
each other. Yeah, you got great tits. You got great tits.
Speaker 3: You always say. Though, it's like people hear nothing but
their own thing, you know what I mean. It's like
that's the only one they care about.
Speaker 4: So the next night I'm in I'm in the main
room and the crowd is fire, the crowd is fire.
I'm just lighting everybody up. It's great. So then this
guy in the corner so that I'm doing stamp with
this chick who has shorts wear half her asses hanging out,
and it's just this weird thing where it's like I
just can't stop looking. I don't want to look, but
as a man, I'm not supposed to. I just my
wiring says, look at ask me. Your wiring just says,
look at ask me. Ladies, you can't get mad at
your guy when a chick walks with her with her
ass hanging out and he looks over. It's not. It's
it's like the it's the equivalent of Tourette's. I'm not
thinking it, I'm just doing it. I if you got
asked me, I'm gonna stare at you ask me.
Speaker 3: So funny. They have a when I was when my church,
when I turned I don't know fifteen or something, gave
me a book called every young Man's Battle and it's
about not jerking off. Yeah, and they have a it's
like a list of techniques for not jerking off, and
one of them relates to what you're talking about. Where
you're stare you see something you want. It's called oh
what is it? It's called deflection, I think is the
name for the technique. And it's like, if you find
yourself looking at some tits or an ass. It doesn't
say that obviously, you just want to dart your eyes
away real quick. That's the whole strategy, is to just dart.
Speaker 4: Your flick away. And that's even creepier.
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.
Speaker 4: Yeah, your face is just like like you just saw
a dog get hit by a car. You're like, oh,
it's like on Instagram, it's like I can't stop looking
at fat asses and puppies every young sloppy poppies and
fat asses, and the content is so dumb. I just
it's just pooping your hand throw against the That's all
it is. When I'm watching these these fat ass chicks
doing the worst comedy ever, and anyone's like, oh, oh
I love it, Oh oh I love it.
Speaker 3: Did you see that that Bobby altav or whatever. She's
got a show on Netflix's joke it's called the show
is literally called Bobby altav Tries Comedy. I don't know
if I'm seeing her name.
Speaker 4: I know, Bobby Altv that chick that you know, oh,
the one who like had a big podcast and banged
Drake and just her her brain got shish kebab by
Black Dick, like literally got shish Kebob. He's like, I'm
leaving everybody I love and she just chased Alabama black
Snake and now nobody.
Speaker 3: Yeah this chick, Yeah, her show. They gave her a
show called She Tries Comedy basically yeah, I mean.
Speaker 4: And she's gonna complain about how hard it is to
be a woman. Do you know that? It's like, you know,
he said, how high yah? Really? You were a plant?
You got lit up by Drake's fucking big dick, and
now you got no audience, and now you've got to
do what everyone does it when when their careers not
going well, and that's do stand up. Stand up is literally.
Speaker 3: The lowest that everybody does. But what chick hot chicks
get to do.
Speaker 4: Johnny, every famous person that careers start to hit the rocks,
they go and do stand up and they piss.
Speaker 3: Have all them, not all of them, get their own
giant show on the Netflix as a Joe Comedy special
for their first time ever doing stand up. It's ridiculous.
It's so stupid be a hot chick to get that.
Speaker 4: She's just and she's just like, she's not fast, she's
mid as shit. I don't have anything personally against her
outside that she just was given the keys to the
kingdom and threw it all away for Alabama. Black Snake
just threw it all away, threw her kids away, through
her family away. Was just like, dude, this this black
dog hits the spot that I can't even understand, right,
And she's just an industry plan. Your first guest is Drake, like,
what do you what are we doing here?
Speaker 3: I also just hate that attitude that she had, so
I do have something against her. I guess that attitude
of like I don't give a fuck, you know, I
don't care. Are you watching this? Like the this is
a guest the you know what I mean. It's there's
something there's that kind of like cynical attitude that's really
it's pervasive now among especially people like on their twenty
five and it's I hate it, dude. It's just everything sucks,
do you know what I mean? Like I I don't,
I have no respect for it's it's an easy way
to be and it's it doesn't give anybody hope. But
it's not funny.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I think she sucks.
Speaker 4: It's so crazy to me that, like people work so
hard for their money, they have such little downtime, and
what they spend it on just blows my mind. It
just blows my mind. But that's fine. You do what
you want to do. It's fine. But these that's why
they're all flashes in the pan. But anyways, so the
next time doing stand up, the chick's there, she's got
fucking ass meat hanging out her shorts, can't even get
around the hump of her ass. She gets off, of
course makes a big scene and she's live. I'm like,
someone's got a coke. Run comes back down and I'm like,
are you got who always? Is your boyfriend? Your husband?
Where Jet's friends? I'm like, you're You're okay, you're friends
with him. He's just county to day until he can
hit it. And I just start going into this thing
with her, and I don't know why. I just go, hey,
can I smell your armpits? She's like yeah, and she
runs up on stage and I do a fat acker
right off her armpits, just sniff boom.
Speaker 3: I love how you said you don't know why, we
know why you do that? You just yeah, you love
smelling chair.
Speaker 4: Well, I don't know why I did that in that
moment because the crowd was so hot. I'm like, they're
gonna they're gonna love that. They're gonna love it. And
I brought him up and did fat ackers off her,
just so fat. The reason I call it gas because
it gives me the same rush that YAO used to
give me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you mentioned that last week, right, you said a
friend of yours told you to do it, And then.
Speaker 4: Steve Stephen Randolph and then he's like, dude, you should
get in the feet. Next, I'm like, I'm never going
near feet ever.
Speaker 3: Ever, he's inact that's interesting, right, If you have feet,
don't interest me in the.
Speaker 4: Least, Dude, feet do nothing funny.
Speaker 7: We did.
Speaker 3: We had that, literally, it's funny beat for this discussion.
Last week. We even went to feet. And then and
I said, what I just.
Speaker 4: Said, talk about sniffing in chick's armpits last week?
Speaker 3: Uh huh? And we and then you said the thing
about feet, and then I said, it's like we're on
like a we're programm, dude, to our brains are programmed.
Isn't that funny?
Speaker 4: Let's start naming body parts and see if if you
get hard for it. Okay, we'll start with feet. We
both say no, no legs. I like legs, Yeah, me too,
but not knees.
Speaker 3: I'm a face guy, though. If anybody asks, okay, rank
it faces ass face face is one, okay, now ass
is probably two. But but to say that I don't
like tits is not correct. It's just that they're good,
however they are. That's what women don't understand. However, they exist.
They're they're rad, you know what I mean, And women
don't understand that they think old guys want big tits
or big tits are cooler. They're not cooler, They're all
all of them are awesome. Would you what you what's
your ranking?
Speaker 4: Mine goes face ass tits.
Speaker 3: Face Yeah, okay, same as mine.
Speaker 4: Man, I need a fat dumper.
Speaker 3: I like about the size necessarily, its just that it
that it is.
Speaker 4: I like a fat ass. I like a dumper. What
is almos?
Speaker 3: A guy in the comment says, I'm deep.
Speaker 4: What does that means? You get a deep massage from
That's what that means deep? I know. That's why I
just said I'm gonna have so you change it. It
goes ass, face tits, so ass one. Well, yeah, I
mean that chick could have a fucking look like she
stopped the bus with her face. But if she got
fat ass, I'm in.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: But here's the thing, Johnny, I'm at age fifty where
almost any chick under thirty over eighteen is like gorgeous
to me. Yeah.
Speaker 3: That's that's the thing you don't realize until you, uh,
until you get older, right, is that we all we
all actually look pretty good when we were young, you know,
like you. At the time, I was insecure, all my
friends were insecure, but we all looked pretty cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this guy's telling me I should shave my head.
You know, I want to, but everyone in the fingers like,
don't shave your head.
Speaker 5: Dude.
Speaker 3: You could pull it off. Dude, you could pull it off.
Speaker 4: I don't know, Johnny, I have a top right here
that I think could be pointy, and I think I
might have no straw.
Speaker 3: Let me look, okay, I kind of mush your hair
down and let me see no, like from the front.
You gotta show me from the front, like, just look
straight on.
Speaker 4: It came.
Speaker 3: No, dude, I think you could do it. I think
you got it.
Speaker 4: The problem was that that that thing in the back
kind of blended in my hair. But now I'm wondering
if I have too much forehead. My eyes are too low,
Like I look like one of those You have.
Speaker 3: Good hair, dude, you have cool hair.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, but I just I'm just over it.
I just want to shave my head and just be like.
Speaker 3: Just not think about it. That's what Rogan always said, right,
he was just like, I'm done worrying about my hair.
I'm just saving it.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 4: It's just like I got these crop circles right here,
and I'm kind of over it. Yeah that's a five head.
Speaker 3: What nobody sees your crop circles?
Speaker 4: Yeah. This woman the other day is like, stop whutting.
This Ukrainian chick was like, stop putting your hat. I'm like,
I know I got to. So I've been wearing it.
Speaker 3: Less because some random chick told you that, Yeah, was
she hot at least?
Speaker 4: Yeah, of course she was hot. Do you think I
would fucking take anything.
Speaker 3: From good lot touche? You know what, Sam, this time
of year, I'm trying to stay consistent with I've been
trying to eat well, but with all the work. I
know you are, the commuting to the studio that you
like to go to in Hollywood, cooking, it just ain't happening.
It's just tempo is giving me fresh out the tempo.
The tempo. They're giving me fresh balanced meals ready in
two minutes. So I don't eat the way i'd like
to without losing time. During the week, my schedule is NonStop,
but you know, I have podcasts all the time, editing,
I have these crazy late nights, and healthy eating is
usually the first thing that I have to let slip.
Not anymore, not with Tempo. Tempo keeps me grounded with
real meals that I can heat in just two minutes,
so I don't default to snacks or take out garbage
or the pizza Dana tries to feed me when I'm
over at your place. I'm trying to start well continue now.
At this point, the year is strong, but long days
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Speaker 4: With honey, why do you look like a hacker right now?
Speaker 3: All my light went out. I'm not I gotta see
I might have tripped the breaker with all this electronic
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go to white dress shirt, the one you wish you
could wear all week because of how sharp it looks
and how it.
Speaker 4: I like, the one that makes it look like you
don't have kits.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's the one you got from Mizzen and Maine, because.
Speaker 4: Oh do that's where I got that dog.
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He's in Missing in Maine, so he can.
Speaker 4: I am in.
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course because of the performance.
Speaker 4: Miss Main's like the Johnny Crockett of these shirts trail.
But Davy Crockett, Davy Crockett, well, no, they're the Johnny Crocketts.
It was they Davy Crockett's brother who actually Locket did
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Speaker 4: That's what I say about Missing the Main. Look good
with the wood dog, Missus Maine. Sounds like a great
follow up to Game of Thrones. Did you hear that?
Speaker 3: They the John Snow thing was canceled and now it's back.
It's back on the John snow.
Speaker 4: Of course it is because that Dragon show did so well,
They're like, we gotta do another one.
Speaker 3: Well, no, dude, that I know you didn't like the finale,
but the for the budget they had that, uh that
I loved The Night of the Seven Kingdoms. I thought
that was the best Game of Thrones since Game of Thrones.
I loved it. It was so good.
Speaker 4: Did I talk about my dog peen on the grass
last week?
Speaker 3: Truly, madly, deeply? Uh, Roger pete on the grass? No,
I don't. The dog peas on the grass. That makes
sense to me.
Speaker 4: So, yeah, it does make sense. That's what dogs do.
So I walk my dog around the block and I
go up. I'm walking down the down this way down
the street, okay, And I get to this one one
patch of of lawn and it has a sign that
says no dogs allowed on grass and then shows a
picture with a like a cross out of a dog
peeing and a dog pooping. So Roger immediately goes on
the grass and starts pissing. This guy comes out and
starts yelling at me.
Speaker 3: So he's waiting. That guy's waiting.
Speaker 4: He's like, hey man, your dog's on the grass. Oh, yeah,
I'm sorry. He goes, man, can you read the sign?
I go, yeah, I read the sign, and he says,
no peeing on the grass. He goes the why is
your dog peeing on the grass? And I'm like, cause
my dog can't read. Dude's literate. My dog doesn't know
what the fuck that's saying. He doesn't care. He's got pissed.
Let him pissed, bro, why you met at dogs can't read?
My dog doesn't even know.
Speaker 3: In front, like on the sidewalk, like next to the sidewalk.
Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you around in it or something. What is
the biggest thing is like, you just gotta go. You
gotta pick up your dog shit. That's the only thing
that pisses me off.
Speaker 3: And you guys have signs out for that if I yeah,
we do.
Speaker 4: We put it right next to our crazy neighbors. These
people are nuts, Johnny, can you find that picture and
put it up so people can see how crazy my
neighbors are.
Speaker 3: Oh the parking, the park? Oh yeah, what kind of
animals park this way?
Speaker 4: I just have no fucking clue. It's just I live
next to It's just Neanderthal gypsy Israelis. The wife is
very nice, the kids are cool. The dad looks like
Carl from Aquatine Hunger Force. Before you put that up,
when you look up and show everybody what Carl from
Aquatine Hunger Force looks like, real.
Speaker 3: Quick, Okay, I've never seen that.
Speaker 4: You've never seen Carl from Aquatine Hunger Force.
Speaker 3: You've shown You've said this before, so I've looked at it.
Speaker 4: I just I just want everyone to look.
Speaker 3: Look, yeah, we've done this before and you said that.
Speaker 4: That's yeah, Well they might not know.
Speaker 3: What I'm saying is that's the only reason I know
what he looks like. I've seen. Maybe it's in Fortnite
or something I play with my nephew, but so yeah, that's.
Speaker 4: Literally what my neighbor looks. The exact same hair, the
exact same shirt, the exact same back hair, everything. That's
Karl from Acatine Hunger Force. He's my fucking neighbor. And
so we've been like Wacky Jackie was talking about, we've
been in parking wars with them. I don't care anymore
because my life is going so fucking great that I'm
not gonna fight over fucking parking spots. Anymore. They Dana.
When you're bringing up Dana looks gets pissed. I don't,
but sometimes they do shit that drives me nuts. Like
we've expressed to them, don't park in front of our
house because they when this whole thing popped off, they
told me that in front of their curb is part
of their property. And I go, that's not true, but
I'm gonna I'm going to respect you because you're my neighbors.
I won't park here. I go, just don't park in
front of us. And then they start parking in front
of our house and I'm just like, Wow, these guys
are just fucking assholes. So anyways, today I come home,
the wife is parked in front of my house. She
has her recycling cans in the middle. He's parked his
second car there. Then they're sewing in their driveway. And
then this is how their guests parked in the street.
Well you show Shohanny, Okay, look at how that that
That isn't just him leaving it there for fitting in it?
Why someone runs in. That's how they parked the fucking car.
Speaker 3: So like what, well, how could that even possibly be?
Speaker 4: Like what do you finding doing that? Look at that.
I mean, dude, it's taking up two thirds of the
street and they.
Speaker 3: Just left it there their driveway in front of them.
Speaker 4: Okay, so you can't see it, but they're they're kind
of on that up ramp that goes into your driveway,
you know, it goes up ramp.
Speaker 3: They have another car in their driveway.
Speaker 4: There's two. There's two cars in headed them, I believe that.
And then he's like, bro, a cut fun parking, bro.
And then he pulls in and he's like, can I
leave it here? And they're like, bro, there's just going
next door. Who fucked them? Park like that? And they
just park like that? Like look at that, dude, I mean,
look at that. Fucking shit. It's just unbelievable. So this
is this is what I'm dealing with in my neighborhood.
Johnny showed me this place that has what eleven rooms
in it?
Speaker 3: Oh dude, that place. It's a compound. Man. You could
you could have everybody in your family could have a
little Johnny.
Speaker 4: See how far away from me it is.
Speaker 3: It's about fifteen minutes probably, I would guess it's eighteen
minutes from me, like at night, and then it's probably
fifteen minutes from me. It's yeah, I mean, like, I
don't want to show it in case somebody wants to
that we know might. But it's it's got an indoor pool,
it's got a grotto indoors. It's got like multiple building,
it's got a long driveway with a gate a private
courtyard in.
Speaker 4: The middle of it.
Speaker 3: It's oh, it's so it would it's it would be
so good, dude. You get have multiple studios there, every
studio you want to have out there. You could like
be on your own property and not see Dana for
like a week.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I'm moving in tomorrow. I'm moving in tomorrow.
Speaker 3: I'm moving Sam. Do you know why why?
Speaker 4: John?
Speaker 3: I just on eBay. I just bought David Lynch's watch,
an old watch of David Lynch's, and I'm very excited
about it.
Speaker 4: I was worrying it cost you.
Speaker 3: It wasn't cheap. It wasn't cheap, my friend.
Speaker 4: Why can't you tell us how much it cost?
Speaker 3: It's six that's not that bad for a watch, well,
not for David Lynch's watch. Yes, but I'm pretty excited
about it. It's not in the best condition, but I
was I was thinking it was gonna because a lot
of the ship that they've been selling has been going
into the thousands. Like there's a piece of paper that
he wrote the number twelve on that's like at two
hundred dollars right now.
Speaker 4: So I'm pretty Johnny. I'm happy for you. Can't wait
to see your cool ass watch.
Speaker 3: It's just a Swatch watch. I don't even know if
it works. I don't really care.
Speaker 4: Johnny wants to leave the old studio.
Speaker 3: I just wanted one thing out of there. Well, it
is weird that we drive to Hollywood when we live
like literally six minutes.
Speaker 4: I'm just emotionally attached to this studio. Well, so we
can move it over there, and I'm just gonna keep
the studio for something, you know.
Speaker 3: It's just so I think we need to do the
show earlier, so it's not so late for the people
on the West coast. We had a lot.
Speaker 4: So Johnny wants to put a studio in his house,
or we could.
Speaker 3: I did see on Facebook Marketplace this giant like military
vehicle from the Swiss Army that would be perfect for
a mobile studio. It's got like a refrigerator and little
kitchenett in it. We could do, like, isn't it Steve
O Or one of these guys that has like a
studio that?
Speaker 4: I mean, do you want to do that? That would
be awesome. I don't know if it works though. Well, then,
has there ever been a successful podcast in a moving vehicle?
I think there was that football one for a while.
Speaker 3: Isn't isn't Steve O's or one of those guys.
Speaker 4: No, he does it in a studio. I think he
used to see if Steve O does it in it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's called Steve O's Wild Ride.
Speaker 4: So in the car, right, Wacky Jackie, we should all
give her a shout out. She's on the East coast
right now watching this, God blessed, Like, just give it
up for me for being up for this.
Speaker 3: Shout out, Wacky Jackie. Yeah, you see he's in like
a van there.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'll do that. I mean, is that still where
a show is?
Speaker 3: I thought he moved it, dude, He's definitely in a van,
all right.
Speaker 4: Didn't see how much that costs? And buy it, Johnny,
still that fucking watch and buy it.
Speaker 3: I'm so happy, dude, I can't. I thought it was
going to be like two grand is going to be
out of my my price range. It's still I mean,
I didn't want to spend that much. I'm being honest.
That's a stretch for me. But it's the stuff in
this Like they've been going through his estate and selling
it on eBay and the stuff has been so expensive, dude,
And he's famous for wearing these Swatch watches and I
got one.
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, I like it, Johnny, Congratulations. You know
what else I like Johnny?
Speaker 3: Basically Terrence Howard as well.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: If Terrence Howard had made some of the greatest films
of all time, then yeah, David Lynch would basically be
Terrence Howard. It's not the TM shit I don't care about.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be at Batavia this weekend, Raleigh, Atlanta, Hamilton, Okay.
Then I'm gonna be at Tim Faule Hat for Dallas,
Fort Worth, Huntington Beach, the Mamba Sports Bill. Then I
have my comedy taping and I think there's two shows
that night. Someone's telling me there's two shows.
Speaker 3: I did see, Like, what was it Kim Condon or
somebody's having a.
Speaker 4: Tap me and Tim are me and me and her.
Let me see if there's one or two shows.
Speaker 3: What do you mean you have two shows or what?
Speaker 4: Yeah, Usually they'll give you two shows to decide if
you want to see it. But it looks like there's
only one. I thought he said there was two. We'll
see one take TRIPLEI. That's what they're gonna have to do.
One take TRIPLEY.
Speaker 3: Well, okay, So when you've done your tapings in the past,
how much has it been would you say from each
of the shows, like percentage wise?
Speaker 4: What do you mean?
Speaker 3: Is there usually one that's just obviously better and you
only end up using a little bit of the other one?
Or is it usually a pretty fair mix of the two.
Speaker 4: It's usually a fair mix of the two, depending on
how it goes. But usually you take the one you
think is the best, and you you take the parts
of the other one and put it in there. And
then check out Word War Debate, Guys, World War Debate.
A lot of big things happening. The biggest thing is
our contender series. Where is it? The Word War Contender Series?
I believe it starts not this Sunday, but the following Sunday.
Thirty two contestants going at it for who is the
next great Debater? And yeah, man, we're very excited about.
It will be live stream, so if this goes well,
we'll have more of these and we'll just find the
next great debater to debate and we'll get it going.
And that's it, Johnny. Those are my stories. I know
you got other stories.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's just it's impossible to keep up with
all this shit. Did you see that the government has
officially registered their project bluebeam URLs? They've registered aliens dot gov,
alien dot gov, a couple of a couple of government
related URLs for the disclosure that's forthcoming. I've been registered
already that.
Speaker 4: I mean, that's coming next, Johnny.
Speaker 3: It's so obvious it's the next thing. In fact, I
wish you would go on like Rogan or something. Just
tell that so that the next time I think he
knows that.
Speaker 4: Dude, Johnny, will you go to my Twitter? I want
I'll find it, dude. I know that it's too long
to read, but you have to fucking see this thing.
Speaker 1: Dude, what is it?
Speaker 4: It's so well, let me see if I can find
it real quick. Let me see. Yeah, okay, it is Johnny.
Speaker 3: Day before yesterday, and this was written on the nineteenth,
so three days ago. So about five days ago, the
US government registered aliens dot gov and alien dot gov,
and when asked about it, spokeswoman Anna Kelly told Defense scoop, uh,
stay tuned with an alien emoji, Johnny, I wish.
Speaker 4: We had time to read this. It's probably not true,
but it's so nuts.
Speaker 3: Well that's never stopped us before. Sam, So, I mean
you could read fast. Let's go ahead, and uh.
Speaker 4: It's five tiny pictures me this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a lot of words, bro, I will
say that it's a lot.
Speaker 4: To read some of it.
Speaker 3: It's fascinating.
Speaker 4: It's fascinating, dude.
Speaker 3: All right, so yeah, this is this is an archived
Threddit post, right, yeah, about what happened in Miami at
the mall there. If you remember, should we get should
I feed this in the chat GBT and get them?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I have chat GIBT do it? But whose
voice should it be?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: I don't know voices?
Speaker 4: Can you have Bill Cosby do it?
Speaker 3: I don't think we wanted to read it. It'll be
too so I was just going to get it to
summarize it in like a yeah.
Speaker 4: But some of the things that the guy said is
so nuts.
Speaker 3: All right, Well, let me hear. Okay, So I was
a responding officer during the Bayside Mall incident, or to
some of you, you might know me as the or
you might know it as the Miami Mall alien incident
or something along those lines. I've told absolutely no one
at all. I won't go into useless detail on why.
It just doesn't matter if I talk about this anywhere.
He was afraid that he would be putting them in
danger if he did. Before though, all I ever told
even my wife about that day was that it was
a crowd, crowd panic, nothing serious. I've signed a lot
of bullshit in my years, but signing hold on. Okay,
I'm trying to summarize it, but he keeps.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: He they originally said it was just dumb ass teenagers
setting off fireworks drunk, yes, starting fights with people and
causing hi mass panic.
Speaker 4: Dude, there were so many people there, you think a
synagogue got shot up and nobody died except for the shooter.
Speaker 3: Easy, easy, Uh? Okay. He says that that was swallowing
that bullshit felt like swallowing a razor.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 3: He said he was already downtown that night. He got
called in early because of fireworks complaints. It was New
Year's after all, uh, and that area isn't the kind
of place you'd want to swing by and casually react.
Relax Dispatch, which kept calling it a disturbance in the area.
He said, We joked about it at first, saying maybe
Dispatch had too many mimosas because they kept they kept
sending them there. Let me see, all right, this is
just gonna take forever, all.
Speaker 4: Right, dude, Just when he's there.
Speaker 3: I remember walking up the steps to the plaza and
seeing kids running but not screaming. Some of them looked
like they didn't even know why they were running. Others
were frozen in place, twitching like they were glitching out,
eyes wide, mouths open, like they wanted to scream but
forgot how. Torres, I assume that's one of the other
officers went up ahead of me. I stayed closer to
the edge of the crowd. That's when I saw the
first body that day. The guy was male, maybe mid
twenty he's at most from what I could tell. He
was slumped against a pillar, like he sat down and
just never got back up again. His hands were covered
in blood, but not from any wounds that I could see.
It was like he just I don't know, had it
leak out of his skin. Maybe he had some on
his face too, so maybe he used his hands to
try to stop a nosebleed or something. I leaned in
and checked him for a pulse. He was cold, but
his eyes were open and not dead open either. It
honestly looked like he was still awake, like he died
mid thought. Oh this is so strange, says He remembers
it all vividly for a moment. He radioed for backup,
and his calms is Walkie crackled, he said. The crackle
of static was followed then by a high pitched tone
that you might get before feedback, except it didn't stop.
It dug into his jaw like dental drills, and his
teeth started to hurt. Sounds like that voice to skull
stuff we've heard about. Yes, yes, yes, Torres. His voice
came through, but it was kind of distorted. It seems strange,
strange because there wouldn't usually never be any kind of
interference around here, and our equipment is checked thoroughly before
our shifts. He said something like, don't come up here,
but the feed died before I could confirm with him.
That was Torres, the officer who had gone ahead of him.
He said, I looked around when I noticed the glass.
The storefronts, every last one of them was covered in
a fine film like condensation. But it looked a little wrong.
It looked like the inside of a freezer after the
door had been left open too long. Some of them
had patterns, forming spirals, swirls, math math symbols, like fingerprints
made by something that didn't have fingers. The people still
inside were all standing still. By now. They weren't hiding
or screaming or anything like that. They were just standing.
Some of them looked like they were listening to something. Boy,
this sounds like that Steven Spielberg movie that's getting ready
to come out Disclosure. This thing goes on forever, but
it's fascinating.
Speaker 4: But dude, get to the part where the men in
black show up.
Speaker 3: Okay, One woman was mouthing something he couldn't hear. She
was smiling like she was praying. Blood was pouring out
both of her ears. This is gonna YouTube's gonna hate this.
I started toward the escalator when I heard this deep,
droning sound. It wasn't mechanical. It was organic organic. Oh uh,
let's see. Everything shifted like a depth perception trick. The
lights flickered. Okay, here we go. I didn't see the
thing everyone keeps talking about. I didn't see a ten
foot alien or whatever, not exactly anyway. What I saw
was this around the alien or creature, trying not to
be affected by its presence. It was like a light
was avoiding a spot where the alien was standing, and
space bent around the thing. It was like gravity didn't
know what to do with it. I only caught a
glimpse out of the corner of my eye. To quote thinkfully.
It was tall, sure, but not in a big guy way.
It was wrong and every proportion wrong. He keeps using
that word wrong. It was wrong. Its movement was like
frames skipping in a video. First here, then forward, then further.
It's funny. It's kind of how they describe UFOs. People
have seen them. Trres suddenly came stumbling down the escalator
on his own. His face was pale. There was a
wet stain down one leg. We can guess what that was.
His radio ripped right out and smashed it on. He
ripped his radio right out and smashed it on the tile.
I tried to calm him down. The guy says, and
he says, I won't answer it. I won't talking about
the radio. That's when two men came in. Let me
be clear, these guys were not cops, not ems, nothing
like that. They were wearing black coats with no patches.
They were also wearing earpieces. One of them flashed a badge,
but not badge as I'd ever seen. Normally, I would
have contested this or stopped them, but I had bigger
fish to fry. These guys didn't even glance at the bodies.
One of them just pointed at Tore Torres and said
he's not viable. They started walking toward me and Torres
telling me they needed to help him. It just felt
like everyone that day had lost their damn minds. I
told them to back up, that I would shoot unless
they properly identified themselves, but a third guy that I
didn't see came in and grabbed me from behind. Before
I could draw my firearm, one of the other ones
injected something into Torres's neck. He went limp immediately. What
are you laughing at?
Speaker 4: But the comments are great? You going.
Speaker 3: When you're the one is having me read this.
Speaker 4: No, it's fire. I'm loving this ship's nuts. I know
it's probably not real, but it's crazy.
Speaker 3: Uh. One of the other ones injected something in the
torres his neck. He went limp immediately. There was no
spasm or resistance. They didn't tell me who they were exactly,
just that they were my superiors. More cops arrived. This
calmed me down. If they if they had come out
here for this, then I knew I was in deep shit.
They told me I was to leave through the east entrance.
They told me not to look back, and then I
was lucky to be given a second chance. Good lord,
this keeps going. Huh, all right.
Speaker 4: It's weird at the end. But the guy, the men
in black are just weird, dude, It's like really weird.
Speaker 3: Yms arrived said there were no injuries. The guy said
that there are bodies in there, and they said, yeah,
but there are no injuries. Someone gave him a small
sealed foil packet and told him to dissolve it under
his tongue right away, and he did that, and I
guess he survived obviously, But yeah, anyway, all right.
Speaker 4: So then he goes to work, right and He goes
to his captain. He's like, can you read that part?
I mean, it's just hilariously weird, dude.
Speaker 3: Okay, let me see, he said. The lights when he
looked back at the mall, the lights were going out
one by one at the mall, like it was being
shut down. Boy, he wrote a lot of shit. I
wonder if AI wrote this. What do you think?
Speaker 4: Probably? But it's still fire.
Speaker 3: Okay, he said. Usually when recalling a memory, I'm really
good at having a full picture, But for this I can't.
I can't make one. I can barely get a flash.
There are memories in my head, the words to describe
what I saw, the general events that took place, but
there isn't a picture visible. The next day, Base I
was fully open again. There was no caution tape, no cops,
no crime scene. It was like nothing happened, not even
a speck of blood. The news ran a segment that
night minor fire causes evacuation at Baseie Marketplace. No injuries reported.
Oh I don't see anything about Oh okay, he says.
I went to see our sergeant the next morning and
asked him if he had heard from Torres. He stared
at me a beat too long and said, you mean
Torres from traffic and I said, no, Officer Marcos Torres Patrol.
He was partnered with me a few nights ago. He
frowned and said, you've been solo for the last month,
right since Morales transferred out. I didn't say anything. He
clapped me on the shoulder and said, maybe take a
couple of personal days. You've been running too hard. I
just nodded, all right, Wow, you don't think that's weird. Yeah,
it's weird for sure.
Speaker 4: I mean, dude, seriously, I mean the amount of cops
there was nuts for fireworks.
Speaker 3: Oh, it was insane. Yeah. Yeah, No, it is Miami.
There are a lot of cops there. No, I'm with you.
Very strange.
Speaker 4: I mean, people love you reading, dude.
Speaker 3: Very strange. Yeah, it sounds like I just saw a
bunch of yawns in there.
Speaker 4: No, they're just everybody loves your reading. We should have
you read one.
Speaker 3: Dude you sent me or No, I saw you share
this on a on on Instagram. I don't know what
else to call it other than ozimpic. Bottom have you heard?
Apparently ozimpic is having some unforeseen side effects for the
gay population. Viecially those who would be bottoms. This is
from out dot com. Out magazine says ozimpic and other
GLP one weight loss medications are being heralded as a
miracle drug, and they likely are for people with real
health concerns, but they've also had distressing negative effects, including
an increase in toxic body image issues in the queer community.
But here's possibly the worst of them all, Sam and
I'm sure you'll agree with me if you can get
out of the comments. Uh, can you bottom while taking ozimpic?
Is the subhead here. It says ozimpic is causing digestive
problems associated with the drugs that could make bottoming more difficult.
This doesn't get talked about enough word law, and it
should that some guy gagindro. He says common side effects
like constricution, bloating, and cramping can absolutely affect how something
feels physically large.
Speaker 4: God, it's like it's a real world, dude, gay man.
Speaker 3: Those symptoms can make intercourse uncomfortable. So the bottom is
a new phrase.
Speaker 4: Oh, I thought I thought it was because in the
great in the words of the Great Claude Shires, I
thought it would make you your ass like a bag
of deer antlers there you have no meat.
Speaker 3: No, it's not that that would be a problem, more
for the top than the bottom, I would assume. Uh
So Justin Timberlake got a.
Speaker 4: Johnny you gotta talk about afro Man too.
Speaker 3: Oh, we'll get to that. Yeah, I mean that was
I was kind of saving that for the end because
that's kind of like the heat. But I got Timberlateke
pulled up, so we'll just do that. Timber, like a
couple of years ago, got a dui and it the
video just came out. I guess somebody foided or something.
Speaker 4: And.
Speaker 3: Bro is ship face.
Speaker 4: Dude.
Speaker 3: Have you seen the footage of him?
Speaker 4: Have you ever seen the video of Justin Timberlake coming
out in the tunnel tweaking his balls off like he's
on something.
Speaker 3: Dude, his eyes and he's like, no, I just know
in this video he's ship faced. But the funny thing
is how this police officer has no idea who he is.
It seems. Check this out. This is great because you're
veering off to the left and then you're not stopping.
Speaker 2: At the stop signs.
Speaker 5: Sorry about that?
Speaker 2: This this your vehicle? Whose vehicle is it? It's just
a rental. Okay, do you have any registration with it?
Do you don't? They can put in the cloud box
check what do you visit him?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I wonder if he has O jampick bottom if
that's affecting his driving?
Speaker 2: What a world tour doing?
Speaker 5: What? Oh?
Speaker 2: Hard to explain.
Speaker 4: He's just like, I'm fucking justin Timberlake.
Speaker 1: Do well to, I'm justin tiber Lake.
Speaker 2: What's what's your name? Just you are justin Timlake?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Do you have a license with me? And then you
can put your in front of your lap to stay
just like that. Okay, you can field it to this guilty.
Speaker 8: So on one thousand two, one thousand and three, one thousand,
one thousand five, one thousand.
Speaker 2: Alright, that's all good, all right, all right, By.
Speaker 7: The way, these are like.
Speaker 5: These are like really hard says.
Speaker 2: So the way is a vice works? You just put
your lips over it and you blow up blow into
it like you're blown. Yeah, okay, all right.
Speaker 4: Well that means you're guilty if you do that, which
is a total bullshits.
Speaker 2: You're under the rest for suspicion, dragon intoxicated.
Speaker 4: There has to be a moment of talking. What is
help me hold on, hold on, this.
Speaker 2: Is the registration ve stays with the vehicle.
Speaker 1: Okay, I have his fault.
Speaker 9: Can you guys please just do me a favor because
you loved Bye Bye Bye.
Speaker 4: You're exactly let me ask him if he.
Speaker 3: Wants me to give him his foul.
Speaker 2: So it's not gonna be a long thing. I'll let
you walk up so the stops because.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, dude, he you know, he got off
really easy on that Janet Jackson thing, like he didn't
get any ship. Jany Jackson got all the ship dude.
Speaker 3: So there was one other funny thing when he got books.
He had a really good sense of humor about it.
So check this out, dude. This is hilarious. Well this
is when, So this is now that he's back at.
Speaker 4: The Bye Bye Bye.
Speaker 3: Now that he's at the booking or where we at
booking at the police station, listen to this. This is great.
Speaker 10: Why he's skidding, Yeah, dude, I mean he's been he's
been railing it.
Speaker 4: He's been redlining it forever. Everyone else has fallen off.
He's kept going and it just was a matter of time. Johnny.
Can you look up justin Timberlake walking out looking like
he's on drugs. Can you do that? I knew he's
in trouble back then. I'm like, Oh, this guy's tweaking
his balls off, dude, I mean just tweaking his balls off.
And everybody's like, oh, this is a public stunt to
get worded out for his new tour. What like, dude,
he might not be able to tour soon. Play. I mean,
they're gonna let him because he's just in Timberlake.
Speaker 3: What's he doing driving himself anyway? He's justin Timberlake, I know, dude.
Speaker 4: I mean how shit face was the other chick.
Speaker 3: She's like, I can't, dude, what's he walking out of
because it's all all the duy shit's coming up now
that that happened.
Speaker 4: Concert, walking out in concert, like coming out on stage tunnel. Yeah,
he's coming out of tunnel singing and he's tweaking his
balls off. It's so crazy. Uh So it's really funny, Johnny,
because like when justin Timberlake left in Sync, right, a
bunch of the guys on the band, I gotta look
up the members of the band, members of just of
in Sync, members of in Sync.
Speaker 3: Okay, so Patrick, you can get your ass kicked.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So don't you love that Joy Fittone is the
is fat One. I mean it's the best thing ever.
Speaker 3: Was Chris Kirkpatrick and the Backstreet Boys?
Speaker 4: Or yeah no, he's an in sync Chris Kirkpatrick.
Speaker 3: Right here, Sam, let me look, just tell me if
this is it, because this is from TMZ saying he's
not under the influence. But this must be what you're
talking about.
Speaker 4: Right, Oh yeah, for sure. Look at that you walking.
Speaker 3: Around the same time too, this because this was in
twenty the arrest was in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 4: Look at those eyeballs, dude. Oh my god, he's he's
so coked up. Dude, he is so cooked up. And
that chick's like, oh my god, he's so high right now.
Speaker 3: Look at those eyes, dude, Yeah, look at those eyes, dude, Like, dude,
he looks like that chick that was greeting Trump the
other day at the State of the Union like a
lizard person with.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, no, you know what he looks like. He
was a Miami cop who just saw something weird in
them all. That's what his eyes look like. What I
just see dude.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I get what you're saying.
Speaker 4: Tweaking his balls up. So anyways, so and this happened
to what was what was Beyonce's first first bam what was.
Speaker 3: It called Destiny's Child?
Speaker 4: Sam okay, okay, so here we go, girl group, here
we go, so Destney's Child, right, So this is how
you know who who the industry is about. So Justin
Timberlake comes, so Instinct's done. All the guys in the
band try to get their own thing going. Justin Timberlake's
album comes out and it does well. But then J. C.
Chase or whatever his name is, it's C. H. A. S.
E Z. He comes out with a single and it
hits harder than Justin Timberlakes did, but the industry didn't
care because they were pushing Justin Timberlake for it. Same
thing happened with Destney's Child, So you know, Beyonce is
coming out, but then Kelly Kelly Rowland puts out a
single and it does better then Beyonce's, but they didn't
care because they're like, Nope, this is who we're pushing
forward and both of them fell off after that. You
don't have the machine behind you.
Speaker 3: You are ft in middle school, I had this I
won at like a uh thing.
Speaker 4: Who could go alonger without pooping?
Speaker 3: No, No, I wish I would win every time.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 3: I won this single Destiny's Child single CD, and I
uh spanked it to the images on that CD. Probably
I don't know, hundred times in a year.
Speaker 4: Maybe ny I jerked off the hot chicks on CDs too.
I jerked off the poison.
Speaker 3: The kids today don't understand. They just don't understand what
it was like.
Speaker 4: It's just I have this joke about that. I told
the story. But when I did the bikini contest and
the chick shoulder snatch and everyone went nuts, and like
nobody cares. Now the snatch is like the US dollar.
They printed too much of it. It's just it's not
worth anything anymore.
Speaker 3: En counterfeited.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's been counterfeited, dude. Blue Choo Rock Hall Boner's
gonna light you up, gonna make you walk funny.
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Speaker 4: It's your grandpa, dude. You had to literally get a bike,
a bike wheel of pumper to get try to get
it bigger, not anymore, dude. We got technology on our side.
A pump your grandpa. The air pump is dick bigger
to dude.
Speaker 3: That's a real thing, that pump thing.
Speaker 4: It's real. It's like, ah, it's ridiculous. Brick up, dude, brick.
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Speaker 4: Fast growing trees, dude, I love dude. I like mega
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Speaker 3: I got to cut it down a little bit. Uh So,
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I'm gonna show you something crazy. Are you ready? I
want you to watch this video.
Speaker 5: Whoa, whoa whoa?
Speaker 4: Watch at the end of the video, watch this. Whoa?
Speaker 5: What is that?
Speaker 4: Johnny? Does that look like something out of like, what
what is that? Show that Stranger Things? Does that look
like Stranger Things? Right there? Totally wait?
Speaker 3: Can you just let it play again?
Speaker 7: Tree? Right?
Speaker 4: Let me cut.
Speaker 3: It's a tree.
Speaker 1: Look.
Speaker 3: Look the stump goes down to the ground. It's a tree.
Speaker 4: That's a tree. But Johnny, why isn't it here? Why
isn't here?
Speaker 3: Look they're panting and they're like looking over here, and
then moving to the left.
Speaker 4: That's not tree, Ny, it's not tree. It's not tree. Left.
He kind of a little Okay, I'm gonna disagree with
you and say it's not tree. Someone just nailed it.
It says Nimrod. It's Nimrod. Yeah, and Jack wacky Jackie's right,
you own everything, Johnny. You're like the least fun person ever.
I gotta, I gotta, I gotta do this.
Speaker 3: You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make
you free.
Speaker 4: That was super crazy. That was super super crazy. Dude,
you don't like us, what you know, I'm just saying
that weird thing from Stranger Things.
Speaker 3: Oh that tree? Yeah that uh yeah, obvious tree was
very creepy. Uh So, afro man is would you say
he's maybe the greatest American hero right now? Would you
say that.
Speaker 4: Greatest trial of all time?
Speaker 3: Were all we haven't recorded since this went viral and
his trial finished, but afromn So cops like busted down
his door on a bogus tip and uh right, what
what is it that I used to say about Dice
that he rifled through his affairs?
Speaker 4: Remember that?
Speaker 3: Remember that's they rifled through his affairs? They Uh so
what he did was he made disk tracks about every
single one of the officers that he caught on camera
busting into his house based on this false tip, and
so it couldn't be funnier. They played and read the lyrics.
They played some of the songs and read some of
the lyrics at the trial and just the crocodile tears
because what happened is they sued him then for the
song the cops did foolishly uh and and this is
the the result. The result is some of the funniest
footage ever ever.
Speaker 4: It is so funny when he plays that and the
chick starts crying.
Speaker 3: His officer Lisa breaking down in court when they play
the disc track about her. Here you go check this
out second.
Speaker 4: How good does he feel right now? He's jamming out
to it too. The video is hilarious. She has a
fat chick chasing around a bunch of hot chicks. The dude,
that was great. You know, my cousin's a cop. But
I'm sorry, but that was fucking hilarious.
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, they screwed up man and they stole money
from him. Yeah, they stole money, yeah, according to him. Yeah,
And I'm just like, sorry, dude, don't feel bad for you.
You shouldn't be able to take my money for nothing.
Here's another thing, and.
Speaker 4: He and he wan, dude, did you see the Are
you gonna play the one with the cop when he
asked them cross exam?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: So one of the cops in the security footage there,
he had some lemon Afroman had lemon pound cake on
his kitchen table, and this cop like took an extra
long time looking at this fat cop. So he did
a whole song which has gone viral. All the songs
gone viral, but this one like went through the roof
called lemon pound cake. Uh, and we'll just play that
the cross exam here.
Speaker 8: Sorry, Sean, you were called officer pound cake by mister Forman.
Speaker 5: Multiple times.
Speaker 2: Cakes that work from different people.
Speaker 8: Okay, And the context of that name comes from a
music video that mister Forman created.
Speaker 5: Correct.
Speaker 4: I don't know where he got it at. Youd have
to that question. Yeah, I'm going to play with mark.
Speaker 3: I don't know where he got it at.
Speaker 1: I'd like you to watch it.
Speaker 4: Mhm. But it's telling.
Speaker 7: Kidnapping victims. He made this ship, wanted to put down
his gun.
Speaker 4: He just kept poking at the poundcake.
Speaker 7: He wound up put down his living pay and then
until okay hes.
Speaker 11: Laving, Okay, okay, he's share, he's hungry and he's really good.
Speaker 7: Said he was sticking from me, he said, another slam.
Speaker 4: He just kept looking at the poundcake. Ah, this is
so great.
Speaker 12: Lemon pound cake, Lemon pound cake, Lemon pound cake, Lemon
pound cake, lemon pound cake, pound cake.
Speaker 4: That's fire days.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's camera is body cameras off and
he ate the cake?
Speaker 4: Can you jump to his reaction?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 3: They even let it get his tag.
Speaker 13: Then, so you've seen an exhibit, right, you would admit
that you the walking by the counter and that is
security footage from the search.
Speaker 4: Did you look at the pound cake?
Speaker 5: That was.
Speaker 3: So funny?
Speaker 4: Bro, Bro, do you have the other one where he
asked him about the cops wife? Let me, Oh, that's
the best one of them all. That just ended the
whole thing.
Speaker 3: You're talking about, the one where the guy's his ex
wife is on the stand.
Speaker 4: No, uh, I'll show you.
Speaker 3: I'll show you what is in the search. Just search
afro man wife here. You tell me it's not this
one you're talking about.
Speaker 4: No guy, this one. Yeah, this is the best one
of them all. Dude, this is the best. Yeah. I
mean you lost and you.
Speaker 3: Got rocked in correcude wrecked and this is make it
sound like it ruined their life is the funniest part.
It's dude, Come on, this is what you guys do
to people all. Anybody who gets arrested, they're embarrassed, whether
they did it or not, and in that stain never
leaves even if they're later proven stick with them forever.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Good, good. So you're claiming that is yes, and
that's painted you in a false light.
Speaker 8: It's caused tremendous pain in my life.
Speaker 7: I'll get to that.
Speaker 4: We have to go through false light first. So does
it paint you in a false light?
Speaker 8: Yes, that my wife is cheating on me with mister format.
But we all know that's not true, correct, I don't know.
Speaker 4: Like, dude, you just shot yourself in the foot. Well play.
Speaker 3: They're in this interesting conundrum right where legally for them
to have been libeled or slandered or whatever is true
in this case, it has to be possible that somebody
could think the thing is true. So I can't say no,
that's not possible without just giving up the whole case,
So that's what he's doing there. It's clear that he's
just a lying piece of shit trying to get money. Uh,
and he can't get money unless he's like, yeah, he
could be boning to my wife.
Speaker 4: Bro, I don't know, but you don't know if you
watch cheat on you or not?
Speaker 5: You want to go there?
Speaker 14: No?
Speaker 4: I just want, Yeah I do, because that's the question with.
Speaker 8: That woman since middle school. I would hope she wouldn't.
But you know what, once somebody puts it out there
for their fun and entertainment, it's health there.
Speaker 4: That's a problem.
Speaker 1: So will not verify the truth of.
Speaker 4: Do you know if he's banging your wife? Is it
a thing that can be verified true or false? That's
your point, bro, I think that hurts him. He got wrecked.
And if he is bagging your wife, then you really
have you have No, you can't sue him. He's just
speaking the truth. It's true.
Speaker 3: No, they had no chance, dude, Yeah, they had no chance.
It's so funny though, it's just so funny. Afrom here.
He put out a song after did you see his song?
His victory song that he put out like he had
this thing as soon as he won. I'll pull it up.
I hope he's not litigious or we're gonna get takedowns
for all this ship.
Speaker 7: But he had.
Speaker 3: It's called the batter Him of the Republic, which is,
you know, based on the battle Hymn of the Republic.
By the way, does Afroman ever write his own melodies?
Speaker 4: Or is it all so? How about when he punched
that chick in the face on stage? Do you see that?
Speaker 3: I remember that yet? Okay, I'm gonna please this.
Speaker 11: Mine eyes seen the corruption of the Adam County cops.
Speaker 7: Still in money, still in cake.
Speaker 11: When they make they traffic stops, first they screw you,
then they sue you, play a game and dismiss your claims.
The proof Sundy innern it, Ah bro Man will bring
it to yah. Ah bro Man is gonna dude, yeah,
ah bro Man, He's gonna screw ya my proof Sundy
in Mine eyes have seen informants get busted with fella niece,
tell the cops I'm a kidnapper and I sell a
lot of keys, raid my house, and then gets because
the dungeon don't exist by proofsun the inner.
Speaker 4: YEP, it's great. I mean, dude, I would move if
I was him I'd move right out of that city,
or right now yet, sell my house, get the fuck out.
Speaker 3: You don't want to be Stephen Avery. If Steven Avery's in.
Speaker 4: Nope, get out of there, buddy, I wouldn't live there forever,
cleaned out. Nothing's here, Bang bang pow see ya.
Speaker 3: All right, So returning to what we were talking about earlier.
You know who is Johnny?
Speaker 4: Real quick before you do this? Is this AI or not?
Is this AI or not AI?
Speaker 3: You bringing it up?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Here we go.
Speaker 3: That's fake. Look at her boobs, Dude, they don't move naturally.
Look at that.
Speaker 7: It's fake.
Speaker 4: Fake.
Speaker 3: And those red Bulls hands are too big, they're too thick.
What you didn't think that was real?
Speaker 2: Did you?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 4: I just liked her fake tits. She just hit her.
Speaker 3: You're trolling me.
Speaker 4: No, I'm not trolling you. I just was hoping.
Speaker 3: She just hit like magic red bullcanes that they can't
be kicked over.
Speaker 4: She hit the box, Johnny. She's carrying big tits. It's
hard to fucking kick with big tits, that is, Johnny.
Look at this real quick. I don't even know why
this happened. Look how many fucking out there.
Speaker 3: And Yahoo videos? When you can't tell you.
Speaker 4: Look how many views of Scott.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's so interesting to talk about I think,
because that's what everybody's like getting pushed, Like I notice
everything when I talk about that ship, it goes bananas. People.
It's just getting pulled, Like I think they want us
talking about that, and I don't. I don't know why.
Really are they just trying to make us I mean,
we're about to play into us some more because here's
Lindsey Graham just being a total idiot, twak queen flag dude,
he's such a scumbag. Listen to what he said. I
guess yes, Sunday on the Sunday talk shows, listen to
this idiot today.
Speaker 14: The running out of money so here that here's what
I tell President Trumps.
Speaker 3: Being obliterated and they're running out of money, do mute yourself. Yeah,
I'm going to.
Speaker 14: The running out of money so here that here's what
I tell President Trump.
Speaker 5: Keep it up for a few more weeks.
Speaker 14: Take carg Island where all of the resources they have
to produce, all control that island. Let this regime down, Avine,
is this going to.
Speaker 9: Take carg Island? Is it going to involve us? Troops
on the ground. Let me let me just read you
something from the Atlantic, doesn't it. US troops may well
their ability to do so, but only to endureaballistic missile strikes,
drone attacks, petrochemical smell all without a reliable means of
obtaining logistical support. The result could be a grinding war
of attrition. They talk about how far away they would
be from recent.
Speaker 14: Sort of tired of all this armchair quarterback. And this
has been amazing military operation. God bless the falling.
Speaker 3: But it's a difference.
Speaker 9: Let me talk about troops on the.
Speaker 14: I trust the Marines, not that guy. I trust DoD
We got two marine expeditionary units salling to this island.
We did a Ojima. We can do this the Marines.
My money is always on the Marines. I don't know
if you take the island or you block a control
that island. This regime, this terroist regime, has been weakened.
It will diwn event vye. And here's what a confession.
Speaker 4: I want to sprint the you know we're running out.
Speaker 14: I want peace to ramp up. The reason we don't
have Saudi Arabia and Israel making peace is October the seventh,
twenty twenty three.
Speaker 4: Loser attack just hit all the checking, all.
Speaker 14: Of the take up, and complete what Biden started as
soon as we get around. Uh, defanged, so they can
do never do another. October seventh. I want to start
up peace dogs between Saudi and Israel this year. I
want a peace deal between Saudi and Israel, normalizing ending
there of Israeli conflict. It's been going on for two
thousand years this year and you can't do dude.
Speaker 4: It's just absolutely fucking retarded. Dude.
Speaker 3: You with GiMA. He invokes you Rejima. Twenty six thousand
Americans died taking you.
Speaker 4: You're Rejima.
Speaker 5: Dude, No.
Speaker 4: Send that queen.
Speaker 3: First, you were asking that did he run against last?
Let me see, okay, was he running against?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 3: You know, it was funny, like I said, I was
down there, and they just love him them there because
face to face he's really folksy and he can kind
of really shitty, kind of talk like them.
Speaker 4: You know, Hey, a may, I'm on a you. Yeah,
I'm closety gay and elect men's okay, though.
Speaker 3: All right, let me see who his competition was in
his last Senate election. Uh, I think he ran against
uh at one point? Did Mark Sanford runters at one time? Okay,
so Jamie Harrison was the person. Let's see who that was.
I haven't been back in South Carolina in a long time.
Oh yeah, he ran against this guy. Of course, of
course he won. He ran against this fella, this guy.
Speaker 4: Oh oh, so you have a choice between closet gay
white guy or closet gay. What is going? What is
in the water of South Carolina? I dude, the guys
weren't a scarf. So ridiculous. I'm offended. Johnny, can we
go to super chats? Uh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just got a couple more things. So this
is the most worrying thing of all. Possibly did you
see the story about pound Teer over the weekend about
how okay pollunteer AI plus Claude AI and this is
in a couple of stories was used to detect, prioritize,
and strike more than a thousand targets in the first
twenty four hours of the operation against the ran This
is it was so successful that the Pentagon didn't even
wait is This was meant to be kind of a
pilot project they were testing out. It's now become official
and permanent everywhere. So pollunteer is essentially now the AI
brain of our military, the US brain, the brain of
the US military.
Speaker 4: Now, yeah, these fucking Zionist nerds are going to kill us.
Speaker 3: All they've let them in the door man and it's
uh so Iran is now and I've we have to
remember Aroun's a sophisticated, large country and they have good propaganda. Dude,
they have their own bots. You can see them in
your comments if you talk about this stuff. That are
trying just as hard as Israel is to brainwash us.
They just happened to have the virtual You have been
on the right side in many ways here. So did
you see this? This to me, this is like, okay,
how smart is President Trump? We should tailor our propaganda
to something that might keep his attention. This was Iranian propaganda.
This was shared by Russia today RT Have you seen this?
They made it a Lego video their propaganda, which is
that means Lego is.
Speaker 4: Huge and Iran too.
Speaker 7: Yeah. H h.
Speaker 3: It's like the Cicario music, right.
Speaker 4: It's like, let's dumb it down so people can understand,
and let's use Legos as the dumbest thing possible.
Speaker 3: Underground bass I think that's the Circario music too.
Speaker 4: Who is that Trump? Everyone's just bombing each other, poor guy.
Mm hmm.
Speaker 3: Geez, that's I mean, that's the new Lego movie. Looks
really boring.
Speaker 4: That's fire. Did I hear it? Looks like the New
Spider Man's pretty good?
Speaker 3: Huh yeah, I thought that looked good.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's crazy.
Speaker 3: I took my girl to see I've already seen it
and loved it, but I took her the centers. They
keep bringing it back to the movies. Uh, still really good,
by the way.
Speaker 4: Did you love it?
Speaker 7: Yeah? She did.
Speaker 3: She did love it. Did you see that they have
for the first time ever? Now s n l u
K did you see this?
Speaker 14: No?
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, they have. They had The first host was
Tina Fey and uh they have their own just it's
just a total UK spin on sn l I'll just
I'll just show you a little I because they're off okay,
and then we'll do the comments on this. Uh they're awful,
therofughely nasty about sending out copyright strikes. I'll just show
you just a little bit of it. Uh, even sn
l UK, where are you gonna find out?
Speaker 15: Tina so when I played Sarah Palin on sn L
US or maybe you feel like you recognize me as
the lady from the show VP, and that's fine too, let's.
Speaker 5: Go with that.
Speaker 9: So why do a UK version of SNL Well, like
so many large scale American operations these days, no one
really knows why.
Speaker 4: That's funny, which is Yeah, Johnny, did you see this story?
Speaker 3: What do you what do you think? Isn't that weird
that it's got an eBay live thing in the top left?
Like what just an add permanently in the top Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: They don't care anymore. You see this story, Johnny. Mystery
of missing five scientists and chills across three or dead
one troubling link is now under scrutiny in DC.
Speaker 3: Streamer the uh oh, yes, yes, I did. I have
this on the list, but you said we had to go,
so I wasn't gonna we gotta go.
Speaker 4: But yeah, he was yelling at me. I'm doing two
hour shows, so you guys are yelling at me.
Speaker 3: This guy, right is uh he's in the uh like
the UAP program or yeah, that right? And then she
was a woman who invented or had some role in
the invention of this alloy, this metal alloy that they
need for reusable spacecraft and they have connection over that.
And he disappeared and she disappeared, like they both have
just disappeared.
Speaker 4: Everybody's gone.
Speaker 3: I'm sure I butchered that because I don't have the
story for me. But uh, it's it's some version of yeah, weird.
Speaker 4: I've ever gone three or dead? I mean, it's just crazy.
Speaker 3: But yeah, and then I just wanted to show you
who hosts weekend Update just uh, it just tells you
kind of like what the UK is about. So it's
this guy right here, and.
Speaker 4: Then the trans Muslim.
Speaker 3: It's just this like purple hair.
Speaker 16: Over the last month, including installation over the last.
Speaker 3: Month, johnnys to a I got a it's a that's.
Speaker 4: A two AM on the East coast. Johnny had been.
Speaker 16: Taking place over the last month, including the installation of
sky TV. So if you're watching Andrew, Hello, you're not
gonna like this next bit.
Speaker 1: Also, I'm older than I look.
Speaker 4: Oh good for her, that was funny. I'm sure her
family was proud.
Speaker 3: You got a purple haired lady hosting a weekend up there.
Speaker 4: That's fire Hair.
Speaker 3: Moby. By the way, Moby, you can get Stomp by Obi,
your thirty six year old b me.
Speaker 4: You don't know me.
Speaker 3: You're too old.
Speaker 4: I tell you when you say to the hotel, I
was Bala and at his assistance, and I would Johnny,
it's called the standard. You piece of ship. God, You're
a piece of ship. Just love that, don't you? Johnny?
Speaker 3: Are you saying about him? Go ahead?
Speaker 4: No, nothing, Johnny, The story's done.
Speaker 3: Nothing about Moby.
Speaker 4: Nope, nope, I know story about Moby. But you wanted
to do stupid jokes, so go on.
Speaker 3: That wasn't a joke, Yeah, just bringing up the facts.
Speaker 4: So Moby. You know that song low Stomp Byobi? You're
too old? Let go. Nobody listens to technow.
Speaker 3: You know that song Lola by the Kings. Yeah, Hello
La Lola.
Speaker 4: Lo girls.
Speaker 3: There's a line in there. Girls will be boys, boys
will be girls. It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook
up world, except for Lola. Well, he was hosting or
he was writing for The Guardian, an honest playlist column,
and he revealed that the song he can no longer
listen to his Lola by the Kinks. He says, it
came up on my Spotify playlist. The other day, and
I thought the lyrics were gross and transphobic. I really
liked their early music, but I was really taken aback
at how unevolved the lyrics are the songs written. The
song was written fifty years ago.
Speaker 7: I know.
Speaker 4: Can you believe a King song is fifty years old?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's crazy because they sound so fresh, the Kinks.
But here's what Ray Davies, you know, the guy who
wrote the song, he was like, I was trying to
write a super inclusive song. I did a lot of
research about drag queens and I and I admire anyone
to get up the courage to be what they want
to be. He was trying to write, like a really
progressive song.
Speaker 4: And Moby can suck a fat one.
Speaker 3: Well, it's the example what you're saying about them eating
their own you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just like, and was there stuff come out
about Moby being c I A or something. It's like,
suck a fat one your bald. Fuck.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna google it because it's about Adam.
Speaker 4: Goldberg who just out of nowhere decided to cry about
uh friends being too white. It's like, get out of here.
Uh did you put it up?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 5: You have it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this guy friends was too white. Whow shut up Goldberg.
Speaker 3: I mean it was, It's not on the air. It's
like it's like when you know, Trump keeps.
Speaker 4: Talking about just like just grabbing at straws.
Speaker 3: It's like child. Trump keeps talking about Biden even though
he hasn't been president in years now.
Speaker 4: It's a little over.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but he's like he's still campaigning.
Speaker 4: Like imagine, imagine if the left listen to you. SNL's
whole thing was four years of Trump jokes. I'm with
you on that, but it's like, come on, they all
do that.
Speaker 3: But he's not SNL. He's Trump. You know, I would
say about him too. I'm a politicians. They dwell on
the last election when it's like, hey.
Speaker 4: Because that's what I do. They need to divide.
Speaker 3: Anyway, and so the speaking of dividing, the media has
gotten their script for the latest war. This went around
last week, but we'd have time to play it. I
just wanted to play it briefly this week.
Speaker 4: As far as.
Speaker 15: The oil prices, people just need to stop panicking. It's
worth it to prevent Iran from having a nuclear weapon.
Speaker 4: So she's a cunt. Yes, I'll do say the price.
Speaker 2: I mean in order to have long term stability.
Speaker 14: The disruptions in the global markets are real and may
be painful, but the long.
Speaker 4: Term benefits, again are incalculable. You suck made it the
pump on a temporary basis. I'm willing to pay thirty
percent or thirty cents more than pump to make sure
that Iran does not have a nuclear You're gross for treasonous, gallow.
Speaker 5: Game for short term pain for long term gain.
Speaker 4: Freedom is not free. Americans are going to have to
make some sacrifices. This is short term, and I'm asking
you to just trust the man.
Speaker 1: Okay, trust the system.
Speaker 5: Let him.
Speaker 4: They're all gross, they're all losers. They should all be
in the gallows.
Speaker 3: Dude literally said trust the man.
Speaker 4: He is the man. Look at him. Johnny super chest
Man all.
Speaker 3: Right, oh oh yeah, we kind of dude. Can I
just show the Bongino video to gee somebody?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that's so great, so great.
Speaker 3: So he's at some kind of event and then me,
I want to play the Okay, this guy comes up
to him first, and it's kind of like, I think,
kind of polite to him. You know, he's like, God,
bless you. Just have courage, and Bongino comes out agro.
So then it draws the attention of this other guy
who was not there to be nice, and uh, he
gets kind of curb stump here. All right, this is
the first guy. I'm gonna play these in order.
Speaker 7: There we go.
Speaker 4: Another idiot in the comments section, thinking I voted for Trump.
You're a pedophile protector. A pedoph protector, Yeah, yep, I mean, dude,
going back to what I was saying about Candae owns
if she was so wrong, she wouldn't have the following chas.
Same thing with Damn Bongino. I mean, dude, he's just
cratering his career because he's obviously they have something on him.
Don't be a coward, Dane. Remember we reput it, We
reput we saw God's watching us go all out against
the deep state. Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid of Satan. Man.
I'm telling you, I'm ready. I'm ready to be in Congress.
I'm ready.
Speaker 7: I play on it.
Speaker 4: I'm not a Hillary, I'm not God bless you man. Yeah,
I mean dude, no one's shipped on there there. I mean,
obviously those guys aren't fans, but he goes on his
rumble showing just yells at his fans. It's like goodbye, goodbye.
Following can you go to the.
Speaker 3: This guy comes in and and then he's not as nice.
Speaker 4: How did you put your name? You're a pedophile protector,
a pedophile protector, pedophile protector, and you put for nine
years you're you're a faggot, you're a protector. Ah, good
for you, dude. We'll see how that is.
Speaker 3: What that happens to us there on YouTube of that.
Speaker 4: All right, Yeah, we're true.
Speaker 3: We should be okay though, because this guy, why are you?
Speaker 4: Dude? I know the comments, anyone could say anything, but
this guy is hilarious. Why are you covering for CI agents?
What are you talking about?
Speaker 3: Literally, Maximus Beardsley sounds like your real name. Who are
you talking about?
Speaker 4: Why are you a chicken ship with a fake name
and no profile? Pick you idiot? But just whyn't you volunteer? Dude?
Why don't you volunteer?
Speaker 3: Who's he talking about that we're covering?
Speaker 4: I don't even know he's just talking on his ass.
Speaker 3: Yeah, twenty two we got more people we had last
week at this time, twenty two fifty right now with
us uh in the man.
Speaker 4: It's like poor wacky Jackie still up. Yeah, I know.
And the number key she's got on the bed she
hasn't she hasn't. Uh, she hasn't been on here a
while she went to.
Speaker 3: The number keeps going up is the crazy thing? Uh
So I wonder if we just kept going to like
six am with we have five thousand.
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's do an eight hour stream.
Speaker 3: Uh here is a jet forty eight oh four?
Speaker 7: Just I love jef.
Speaker 3: Amy Pond says, oh, does Sam need a hug from Bumfardo?
Speaker 4: Always? I just want to know what happened to Bumfardo?
Speaker 3: What is this currency?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 3: Sg D five dollars in s g D?
Speaker 5: What is that?
Speaker 4: Yeah? You know what that is? Sgd sexually good dick.
Speaker 3: That is uh the Singapore dollar.
Speaker 4: So what is that?
Speaker 3: Like a five cents or something?
Speaker 4: No, Singapore is crushing it right now.
Speaker 3: You want to see? Okay, let's see.
Speaker 4: Uh why do you got to see?
Speaker 3: I don't think it's three eighty nine. That's pretty good.
It's better than I thought you. Uh So this is
from Mary Chase says, uh, Sam, can you do international
dates before the end times? Thank you for your attention
on this matter is.
Speaker 4: That two weeks from now, I'm in Canada. Good look.
Speaker 3: Scuzzle, but says.
Speaker 4: Don't say the name, Johnny, don't say the name.
Speaker 3: The Indiana Pacers Aster Bundy Collins DuPont.
Speaker 4: You're just tempting fate.
Speaker 3: Bro Kennedy Lee Onnassas.
Speaker 4: Even attempted to make a joke about the.
Speaker 3: Name Rockefeller, Russ Child, Russell Vandyne and Marravingian.
Speaker 7: Uh you did that.
Speaker 3: I hate the Pacers, dude, They're so bad this year. Uh,
Sam Weller says Sam. The chick you were probably thinking
of is Fiela Isabelle, who whom I like. But isn't
everyone's cup of tea? What's he talking about her?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 4: When I talk about the chicken went to Russia, I
think that's her. I like her, and she just rolled
her eyes and I'm like, even thing whatever you want to.
Sometimes when people are deep into the political world, they
don't like conspiracy theorists because we're the whack jobs and
nut jobs.
Speaker 3: They also kind of remind them of what the truth
Isn't just.
Speaker 4: If you're on one side or the other, you're you're lost.
Speaker 3: This this person, Bubb's cat says, uh, I'm super concerned.
They have five and six g e arrays tuned to
microwave oar asses in does he mean in Massachusetts or
on in mass in mass on math in Masses Okay, yeah,
only because of the Hubris thoughts.
Speaker 4: Yes, I bought a thousand dinar. If that thing goes up,
I'm rich.
Speaker 3: Bitch, like the currency the dnar.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I bought like a million dollars of dinar for
like twenty bucks. Interesting, they're just sitting in my safe
waiting for that thing to skyrocket to a million one dollar?
What do you so?
Speaker 3: This to me is the ultimate black pill thing, though,
if they're when you her my accents like black peel.
Speaker 4: Johnny, I just heard an Asian guy with a Southern
accent that was the ship.
Speaker 3: There's the in centers. There is like an Asian couple
that has just a pure Southern accent.
Speaker 4: Hey man, welcome to pand Express.
Speaker 3: There was this girl I went to school with whose
name I won't say, but she had she was.
Speaker 4: From Why does this guy keep saying Portland Samaria patient zero?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 3: Bit finesse, says Stanley yell Ill knots is the family
name passed down generations. In the movie Holes, starring Shiah
the Buff great show. We didn't get to Shia, but
his meltdown war World tour has continued. He's in Rome now,
just screaming at some poor girl sitting next to him
at dinner. Did you see that? He's What do you
think is going on with that guy?
Speaker 4: He got through and he's going through it just like
his quote unquote half sister. She said she got torn through.
Speaker 3: So bad for him. Uh Gemini Vision says, tons of
lizard propaganda out there? Twenty four to seven. Ain't out
of truth?
Speaker 4: Bro, Ain't that the truth?
Speaker 3: Uh Nam Civitas says, seeking truth? Tulsa, Oklahoma, Artificial cloud?
Was it just words? Aren't they?
Speaker 4: Those are just words?
Speaker 3: Bitfiness again says Sam. Bitfiness coming from the top rope
here says Sam. I love you and would never lie.
If you want to shaved head. Get the baby bliss
pro from Sally's Beauty. I've heard that's a good trimmor
major go hair is for women. Keep it bald. Your
woman will know you mean business when she sees consistency.
Speaker 4: Okay, baby bliss, baby bliss.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've heard of those meant to be good trimmers.
I would cut my own hair during the pandemic and
it was fine. It was fine, It was totally fine.
Speaker 4: Did you see a plane crash at LaGuardia? Oh no,
they don't want you flying. I've been telling you that
for years now.
Speaker 3: Flatman b Official says, your sobriety helps me know.
Speaker 4: I can do it.
Speaker 3: Brother, Thank you.
Speaker 4: You could do it.
Speaker 3: Good luck to you, Good luck to you, buddy, Q
fuck you, I got it.
Speaker 4: You got me.
Speaker 3: Bro La siphons the batties out of Ukraine like they
siphon baseball players out of Japan. That's true.
Speaker 4: Yeah, God, bless the batties out of Ukraine.
Speaker 3: Gas can lip our friends, says Sam. Do you feel
the most important thing for a woman comics in twenty
twenty six to do is memorize makeup tutorials instead of
write and memorize jokes.
Speaker 4: I think there's some great female writers out there. They
just there's just more male comics and male comic like
a male comic will drive two hours for fifteen minutes
for free, a female comic won't do that. They don't
go the same way.
Speaker 3: Okay, this is from Pete P. D.
Speaker 5: Dub.
Speaker 3: He says, thank you, mister Johnny for being missed one. Okay,
I'll get it. Jesus Christ made me.
Speaker 4: Take the Lord's name in vain.
Speaker 3: Dude, man, will this thing is glitching, so I can't
I press things and nothing happened, so I don't. I
it's like it's off. P d Dub says, thank you
Sam and Johnny for being so amazing.
Speaker 4: Thank you PD dubs, thank you.
Speaker 5: Here we go.
Speaker 3: Matthew Still says, can I please get an episode of
Kurt and Sam on your premium more often? I live
for those episodes. Those are my best days at work.
Speaker 4: Bro.
Speaker 3: The guy's got he's already doing twenty four to seven podcasts.
Speaker 4: I'm low to my mind. Anyways, Kurt's super busy. We
do it when he's available.
Speaker 3: Stan Daniels says, uh, so, how does Lucky Larry get
to cash in on the US bank building? Drones are aliens?
Would an alien attack be considered an active Wait? That
wasn't that one from last week?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: Because remember we saw oh okay, well it was Remember
he said Lucky Larry and we had to figure out
who was it was? Larry? Uh, Larry Larry?
Speaker 4: Not shut up? Chad, it's by Chad.
Speaker 3: It wasn't Larry Fink. It was Larry uh Ellison, Right,
he's talking about Larry Ellison. Yeah, drones are aliens.
Speaker 4: No, he's talking about Larry Silverstein. Dude owned the Twin
Towers at the time.
Speaker 3: So it's is just him saying like it's okay.
Speaker 4: Well everyone said he just bought terrorist insurance on the building.
Speaker 3: Oh he owns the US Bank building. Now is that okay?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 11: Uh?
Speaker 3: Probably alien something to do with aliens. It seems to
be in the air. Chef Dom Now do you think
this guy's name is dom Or? He's a dom and.
Speaker 4: He's also well that guy loves ballgags. What up?
Speaker 1: Sam?
Speaker 3: It's hard to eat into the ballgag and you need
a ring gag, Sam, you need a ring gag. It's
a whole different kind of gag.
Speaker 4: What up?
Speaker 7: Sam?
Speaker 3: And Johnny saw us on us all on last BS.
You showed some VAP stuff.
Speaker 2: What is v V stuff?
Speaker 4: That was stuff? U a p when you your sister
and all that stuff and.
Speaker 3: You got a few picks and VIDs. I assure you
are worth your time? Can I send it to y'all?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, just hit hit us up on Twitter? Did send
it to us? For sure? I'm at Johnny Woodard on Twitter.
Uh find me there all right, streamyarn will bring this
ship up.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: Mike Vegas says, why do aliens only abduct white people?
That's a good old people.
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 3: Where the white women at schneid Time?
Speaker 4: Gay dollars?
Speaker 3: Shout out schneid Time. That's a good name, schneid Time.
True World seventeen says, love you guys, have a great week.
Same to you, Same to you. We need comment of
the week for Johnny. That's from dufast Dog.
Speaker 1: What does that mean?
Speaker 3: Comment of the week, like we pick the best comment.
We used to do that on That's that's on.
Speaker 4: Uh, that's on.
Speaker 3: We used to do that on Cash Daddies. Come in
of the week off of Cash Daddies.
Speaker 4: I didn't m cas.
Speaker 3: Mike Vegas says, why are you saltines allergic to the sun?
And why are you guys not native to any place
on Earth? I like your women, though, what can we say?
What else he talking about?
Speaker 4: This is a black guy trying to do a black thing.
Next one.
Speaker 3: Stan Daniels again says, check the mineral King link on
your site. Oh yeah, I heard that it's not working.
Speaker 4: Okay, well I'll look it up.
Speaker 3: Mineral King, I think you even said the other day
that it's not working. And then finally the Old Donna
podcast says, do you have any extra tickets for the
Mothership show? I don't know about that.
Speaker 4: Hey, just keep looking. I know you know, I love you.
Speaker 3: Just keep looking.
Speaker 4: No, I mean like I would get her one because
she comes all my shows but sold out so fast.
I didn't even expect it. But people back out and
they get their money back all the time. You just
got to keep looking.
Speaker 3: Oh, stay on the website. I just stay on me,
stay on.
Speaker 4: You, all right. I want to watch her and her
white boyfriend make love.
Speaker 3: There are more okay?
Speaker 7: Uh.
Speaker 3: Gaddis Abramovich says, can we get bumfardo fireman cussed shirts?
Speaker 4: Yeah, we should, du we should make a bum fardo
strain of weed.
Speaker 3: And then our friend Kingshin says, Banger Bang Banger, A
good dude to hang out with, Kingshin Banger. It's like
one of my friends from back home. Banger shout out
Kingshin Banger Banger. I mean just want of my alien
dot gov. Oh did you see Trump with the lady
from Japan. Bro, this was so funny. Trump is Trump
can be simultaneously destroying the world and also just be
so funny. Did you see this, dude when he was
with that banger. Did you see this?
Speaker 4: Yes, it's so good.
Speaker 5: Good friend.
Speaker 17: One question, why didn't you tell your eyes? Uh, we're
very confused about.
Speaker 4: One thing. You don't want to signal.
Speaker 7: We go in.
Speaker 14: We went in very hard and we didn't tell anybody
about it because we wanted surprise.
Speaker 4: Who knows better about surprise than Japan? Okay, why didn't
you tell me about Pearl Harbor?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 4: My god, he's the biggest retard out there, dude, Bro.
Speaker 3: He just sometimes he just says the dumbest, funniest ship.
Speaker 7: I mean.
Speaker 4: And we did know about japam we let it go.
Speaker 3: Thomas Crooks. Thomas Crooks, Oh yes, oh yes, uh, we
were not going to go into it. But did you
did you watch any of Joe Kent on Tucker Carlson
now talking about Well, Tucker asked him about like, for example,
the surveillance tape from the shooting range where Traumas Crooks
was trained. Yeah, he said, why why don't that Why
isn't that out? And here was Kent's response. He says,
I know what the result is. The result is people
come to their own conclusions, and this is where the
crazy conspiracy theories come from. And those conspiracy theories usually
are easy to debunk or make people saying them sound crazy.
So then the actual question never gets answered. So and
he says, I try to explain it to you. Then
Tucker says, I try to explain this to people all
the time, because it's been going on since the Kennedy assassination,
and Kent then replies, Uh, so, basically, you give no
information whatsoever on something that's obvious that there should be
information on, and then you outline that there's potentially footage
of crooks at the range, and again police one oh one,
you go to the tapes, let's figure it out, and
then you don't release it and then go silent, and
then you make people crazy that they're doing it on purpose,
is what he basically said. And he would know he's
been behind the scenes, so uh yeah, he admits there
that they've they've been hiding that footage.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I mean, dude, duh dah. That's all I
gotta say, is dah dah, dah. I gotta go, Johnny,
I love you, take care, have a great day.
Speaker 3: Now there's the live though, everybody, did Sam leave? Can
you tell me in the comments that he leave? He
left though? What did he say?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 3: The streamyard crashed on me. So uh, all right, everybody bye.
I can see the people leaving now in the streams.
I'm just gonna bail. He was looking for any opportunity
to get out. Yeah, I was about it anyway. Uh Oh,
I'll play one thing before I go. Okay, so this
is great. Did you see say so? Piers Morgan Louis Theroux,
the documentarian who I kind of like, did this gross
documentary about the manosphere on Netflix and he really just
found like the worst of the worst, and he admits
that he's doing that. But he had that guy hs
Tiki Taki in the documentary. He featured him pretty heavily,
and so that guy went on Piers Morgan and just
really embarrassed Piers Morgan. Like Peers, Morgan was not having
any of it. Bro, I'll play this really quickly before
I go. This is hilarious.
Speaker 1: For being gay, is Toby?
Speaker 5: What I do with my children is up to me.
What I do with my children is up to me.
Speaker 18: Of course I don't agree with you going to Epstein's
island and having three coughs with she's laying Maxwell and
the rest of them.
Speaker 5: But I don't need to bring I've never been.
Speaker 1: To be clear like this, Harrison.
Speaker 19: Okay, Harrison, I don't agree with that on the island, Yes,
nor do I. And as you sure, are you sure?
Speaker 1: Do you want to keep doing this? You make yourself
look very stupid. Are you sure, Piers that I've never
been to Jeffrey Epstein's island? I'm one hundred percent pos
I never met the man, never went to his island
and make gillais Maxwell for five minutes at a booklo,
if you've got any.
Speaker 5: Something mentioned a lot of times, a lot of times.
Speaker 1: I have no problem You're not. I don't think, if
I say this very respectfully, I don't think you're very
well informed about things like that, or you wouldn't go there, because.
Speaker 5: It's why are you in the files?
Speaker 1: Why don't you check the twenty seven assisted me in
the files?
Speaker 5: While you're in the files are very close to these, go.
Speaker 1: And check and all your followers you can. The great
thing about the Epstein files you can put somebody's name
in and.
Speaker 18: You like to compare me to Take and Myron and
everyone else. This because my name is close to them
in the manosphere. But if I compare you to Scene
and Maxwell, if you have a clear problem with you,
compare me to Myron and all the others.
Speaker 19: Harrison is homophobic, misogynistic, Parson, whatever world, I'm comparing you.
Speaker 5: To Epstein then because you're in his files, Harrison, exactly, Let's.
Speaker 1: Make yourself look idiot than you did on the Netflix show.
Speaker 5: Really, really two people like you, sir.
Speaker 18: I don't mind that you make yourself look like an
idiot every single day when your wife is at home
posting pictures that you're out and she wants to get
used like a toy by a big black.
Speaker 5: Man who is cleaning her car. Is that why you
have a problem with me?
Speaker 18: Is that why you're pushing this homophobic narrative because I'm
the big black man the shad your wife while you
are on holiday. Okay, we can all have a push
in the shops. Let's go back to talking about the
documentary and less of the homophobo.
Speaker 1: Here's what I'm thinking about you. I watched the documentary.
I think you're a fucking idiot. I think you're ast misogynist.
I'm aphobus work who got exposed, who got exposed in
a global way by Netflix, by Louis Through for what
you are. You're a little half wit and you'll make
your little followed.
Speaker 4: Don't get any point.
Speaker 1: There's no point me wasting my time talking to you,
is it?
Speaker 5: What's the point exactly? Do you know what?
Speaker 18: Let's chill it down then, because what I just said,
there's fifty more things that we can have a stupid
back and forth and try.
Speaker 5: Normal self normal normally.
Speaker 1: I don't care about your silly inside What do you.
Speaker 5: Mean you don't care?
Speaker 7: What do you mean?
Speaker 5: You don't care what I said? To have a picture
around and show you right.
Speaker 1: Now, I couldn't care less about your silly little insult.
It's like a two year old.
Speaker 5: Why would I care a two year old? A two
year old? Listen? So, I don't know why you come
on and you talk like your horia ban Now. As
soon as you're well, patients are open your chain.
Speaker 1: Bows, that's end. Please cooked, you know what I'm not
doing this story, guys, it's pointless.
Speaker 3: Bro that I mean, he got roasted on his own
show Man, and I don't know if you've seen it.
It's like an old Instagram post that Piers Morgan's I
guess his wife or whatever posted where she's in her
bathing suit and she's got a thing that says like
pool boy applications wanted or something suggesting that she's she's
up for it.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 3: Ah, dude, he got Peers. Peers does that to people
like all day and I and I don't love that. Whatever.
Tiki Taki's got, whatever the hell his name is, But
that was so funny to see somebody dude to Piers Morgan,
Well what Piers Morgan does to people all the time. Anyway,
I wanted to show saying that, But that was that
was absolutely fabulous. Anything else, Yeah, the CIA is poisoning
the sky. We knew that already. Drones. Oh, rest in peace,
Chuck Norris. I wish I'd gotten to say that with
Sam here. Yeah, we lost Chuck Norris. Rest in peace
to Chuck Norris.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 3: When I was a kid, my grandpa his favorite show
in the nineties was Walker, Texas Ranger, which if you
grew up in the South, you know that show was
just kind of it was kind of a big deal.
It was terrible. By the way, if you go back
and try to watch it now, it is awful. It
is truly bad. Oh no, he was eighty six. Okay,
that's pretty good. He may have had a good run.
Uh met Yahoo by the way posted about him. He
was like he said, he wrote a Sarah and I
was deeply saddened to hear of the passing of Chuck Norris,
a close and personal friend of Israel and myself. If
you look in this, I'll just end on this. If
you look though at the uh at the suggested community
notes for the story of Chuck Norris's death on TMZ,
it was all just uh, you know, stereotypical Chuck Norris
jokes like Chuck Norris died five years ago. Death was
just afraid to tell him that was one of them.
Let me see if I can find the other. Oh, yeah,
hear it is Uh, Chuck Norris isn't dead, He's just resting.
Trust me, Pyle, you really don't want to wake him up.
And then the last one I saw was Chuck Norris
is currently deciding if God is getting into heaven. So yeah,
happy trails to Chuck Norris Walker Texas Ranger, a hero
of my childhood and an all around badass. He was
wrong on Israel, but seemed like a pretty cool guy.
So by everybody, see you next week.
Speaker 5: Christ they're gonna
Speaker 4: Buy, They are gonna