Speaker 1: Hey, bebs, I'm back. Part two. It's me Chris Farrah. Welcome.
This is Vanity Fair. It's ninety Day Fiance. It's season twelve,
episode twelve, So help me God, yay Part two. Okay,
my loves, Let's move forward, shall we. Okay, we have
already talked about Paula and Thomas and Marissa and Edward,
and we've already talked about Mito and Debbie. So we're
gonna pick up with Asha and Malcolm. So she's on
the phone with her friend Patricia, and Patricia can't have
time for this, honey. So you know, Patricia like probably
hangs up, but not before Asha was like, let's do
a quick prayer. And she's like, yeah, quick prayer. Oh no,
static just hangs up on her face. It's like sorry God,
but also God, you know that she's crazy. Sometimes I
gotta just hang up. You have to really, you know,
sometimes be cognizant of the energy you're giving out. So
we have Rob and Asia's sisters in Nigeria at the hotel,
and as we know, Asha has gotten an airbnb, so
different places, and the driver doesn't have the address to
the airbnb, so Asha has to get on that for
them to come and is like, have you told my
family that anything? He's like no. We find out that
it's her two sisters and her mom's friend, which is
interesting because her two sisters look older than her mom's friend,
who should be older. Juliette her mom than all of them.
I found that interesting. Juliet is wearing like a pink
laced top, Honey, it looks super cute and it's like
a two piece, and then sorry, and then Asha's wearing
like a cute green leaf two piece. We meet her
sisters and it's Jacola and Glenna, and they're basically like
all our lives. She's been very bossy, Asia's very Katie like,
less making out. We think more the blood, the blood,
the blood, the blood. Every time Katie makes up in
with someone, Asha's saying the blood somewhere same people like
it's there is maybe just yeah, I guess there's a
repetitive repetitiveness. There's also a bossiness and a controllingness to
both people. Oh that's so interesting, and maybe a little
bit of an obsessiveness, maybe sort of like a tendency
to look outward and judge others without kind of bringing
that energy back to themselves, maybe both Katie and Asia. Okay,
So finally they get the driver to get the address
and they meet up at the airbnb. Now we also
realize like him and his family are gone, they're already
like at the event they're having, like a beach meet
up or whatever. So they have come to Ashia to
pick her up, and she, you know, is dancing around
the idea of the fact that they really want us
to know that she obviously has told Rob everything. Rob
hates all of this, and that she hasn't told her
sisters or this mom's friend. I don't know quite why
the mom's friend is so precious that she doesn't know
the mom knows, like Juliette knows that she's about to
marry Malcolm. So I don't understand why they're like, we
can't tell Juliette's friend. God forbid, we know what her
opinion is on the situation. Doesn't that seem weird to you? Also?
Are we supposed to subtly think that Asha and Rob
Rod Sorry, I'm going to say Rod and Rob. I'm
going to go back and forth over and over again
for some reason with him and it's Rod. Okay, it's Rod,
but are we supposed to pick up on like subtle
sexual tension between Asia and Rod. I'm gonna have to
ask my reality gays this we are right, we're supposed
to sort of be like, why aren't you with each other?
You've grown up together, you both love God. You both
can you know, tell each other the real real like
you know your families love each other. You both know
each other. Have you both ever tried? He seems a
little older than her, but you know, I'm not saying
she should be attracted to him. But at the same time,
you know, okay, He's like, why are you keeping secrets?
And She's like, how dare you you think I'm pregnant?
How dare you? You know I'm a Christian lady to
think that I would be caring. Also, if I'm telling
you I'm not pregnant, just believe that. How dare you?
He's like, this doesn't make sense, doesn't make sense. Why
you would rush it. She's like, on, it's here already,
I'm already here. You know how hard it is to
get here. It's like exhausting. So I'm just like here
is am I get it done? I'm annoyed. Also, there's
also I think a part of Asia. If this is
all to be believed, that is like I'm on a crusade,
a christ crusade. I know what Christ wants, which is
coincidentally what I want, which is nice. And if you
go against what Christ wants, slash me, then I have
no no barrier between what I will do in this world,
this civilization, or what is normal for other people to think,
because my only job is to further Christ's and my agenda.
She's like God said, Maxwell and I are to get married.
How dare Nigeria or America or the visa process alone
stand in our way? So if the only way for
me to trump them and to get around this stupid
earth business is to get the spousal visa that I'm
going to, I don't care what it looks like. I've
already told you it's what God wants, slash me. And
so that's what's happened. Like it like it almost feels
like that kind of thing. I've never known, the amount
of confidence one would need to stand not only ten
toes down in whatever decision I want in my life,
but then all of God's being down behind me and
a decision. I think it sounds kind of great. Okay. Now,
of course Rod is like I get robo calls all
of a sudden. That's all Nigeria. That's all they do
is just sit there and robo call, which is funny
because usually robo calls are like AI voices. I guess
there's different ones, you know. Obviously, now we're in the
realm of like the funniest ones to get are they
like AI texts? Hey, moving back to Los Angeles? Can
we meet up again and talk? And it's like unknown
number as I'm supposed to be, like, oh my god,
I wonder if this was that one person one time,
or oh my god, at least someone from life is
texting me. I can't wait to find out if I
have a new friend. Like, you know, It's just it
is kind of a sad thing to think how many
people like get hooked in such a weird text phishing scam. Anyway,
I wonder how many times Rod's getting those texts and
is like writing back and then being like, oh a
Nigerian person again, Oh I thought it was my friend Matilda,
randomly just said to Matilda, who obviously was a lovely
nne of Day cast member from an African country, but
you know, I'm just I'm in my own mental realm. Okay.
So at this point, now we're all going to go
to the beach and have like a beautiful meetup with
his family, and there's gonna be like various bonfires behind them,
which coincidentally behind framing Asia and Maxwell makes them look
like they're in hell. There's literally flames behind them, which
I caught. I don't know if anyone else did. I'm
surprised that, like Rod didn't make conversation like you guys
have the flames of hell behind you, you know, I'm
quite sure or if you just thought that. Okay, So
Kathy is Juliet's friend, and yeah, Kathy just looks younger
than everyone else involved, and so I'm like, daw did
Juliet and Kathy meet? When Rod gets introduced to Maxwell
and Maxwell's family, he says down, he doesn't say much.
Juliette's like, Rob, what do you say? Which I found
that interesting because I know that Juliette knows that Rod thinks.
So why would Juliet want Rod to voice his opinion
knowing it's going to in fact be antagonastic antagonistic to
the situation, Unless Juliet wants back up to be like,
someone get my daughter to not do this. Juliet is
there and to me rather like guarded with her opinion.
She seemingly is supportive of her daughter. But if we're
also to believe that she has washed her hands of
trying to control her daughter, then she just goes along
with things because it's probably easier. And I would love
Juliette's like seecret agenda to be like I. Once Rod
gets here and Rod gets his opinion out there, I'm
just gonna hop on in. I need, you know, to someone,
and so I need like a backup or like an
offensive line front line. Then I go in after them.
Rod's like, I say, you charmed her good Maxwell and
her sisters are also like, it's weird that you didn't
tell us earlier so that we could be and then
they both say this at the same time prepared, And
in my mind it wasn't so much that they were
going to prepare some sort of like PowerPoint presentation of
why she shouldn't do this. I'm assuming that they meant
fashion wise, like how dare you not tell us that
we're coming abroad for a wedding? So that we can
bring appropriate fashion, because what would be the preparation you
would do besides packing to confront this. Like if my
cousin Monique was Asia and I was my cousin me
or Asia or you know, obviously her cousin slash sister
who was in this situation, and I was brought to
a country where now my cousin was like, guess what,
I'm getting married to someone? And I was like, how
dare you not tell me earlier so that I would
be prepared. That's not what I would do if I
didn't want her to get married. If I didn't want
her to get married, I would just start being like,
you can't get married, don't get married in that person? No,
you know, I'd be like, my first line of defense
would be then to try and get other people to
be on the same side as me, is that this
person shouldn't get married. I would try, you know, and
get her parents, her sisters, any other person that we
know to be like you're not doing this, talk or
out of it, yell at her, you know what it is,
but that's not what her sisters do. It does seem
like all her family walks around her like on egg shells,
and has it always been this way? Is it this way?
Because they all agree with her that she is a
prophet and they all believe her, so they're all like,
we can't it's really hard to argue with God slash
her or they just have allowed her to align herself
with God so many times that it's like just one
big personality trait that she's bossy and they allow it
and they don't think that she's a prophet. But like,
it's just annoying how to deal with her. Because if
someone in my family who was bossy and controlling and
always crazy and I just had to like walk around eggshells,
was also going around these streets being like I'm a
prophet of God and then also trying to use that
against me in situations I would often be like, no,
you're not. God does not want you to get your
way about where we're gonna go to dinner tonight, are
you no? God? No, I don't think God wants us
to go to sup plantation again. Also, you're crazy for
thinking that. I just feel like these sisters have had
to deal with so much on her behalf. I need
to know why why have they allowed it? Are they
also in the same church. Does Juliet go to that church?
Because if they all go to a different church, and
if they all know that she's using this god stuff
to further her agenda, and she's also a bossy person
by nature, why is no one calling her out? Why
is Rod the only person that has a voice? This
is weird. Also, why does Juliet have this one young friend?
And why is Juliette's friend there? Why wouldn't I don't
know her dad come out. There's like a billion questions
right like, and no answers. Okay, I'll tell you right now.
The answers could easily exist on her TikTok because she's
often on it and often live and I don't want
to know, I don't care, I don't know, I can't
watch it, okay. So basically she's like, listen now, they're
all here. Yes, we're getting married. And it's for the
reason why I was I have a good at spousal
because we got denied and I want this to didn't
be happening, and I want this to happen now. And
they're like, well, what happens if you still get denied?
And she's like, no, I didn't think about that, and no,
my mom what I want. Now. There's a lot of
different viewpoints here, and one viewpoint is that Maxwell's dad
is like, I want you to have them babies. I
want you to have two girls and two boys. And
she's like, well, I'm only gonna have two pregnancies, so
unless I have two sets of twins, that's the only way,
mathematically and god wise, we would both get what we want.
Rod's like, let me ask Maxwell some questions. What career
will you chase after once you're in America? And he's like, oh,
cars buyer seller, Like, oh, okay, you're gonna sell You're
gonna sell cars. I got like a lot what it is? Yeah,
I mean you know, yeah, you can go to like Teyota, Alabama. Yeah,
get get a job. And then he's like that's what
I used to do here. But also my dad like
is an electrician, so I have grown up knowing how
wires work. And then it becomes a little awkward because
Rod says, well, I don't want you. I don't want
you to scam my god sister, because I know Nigerians,
you know, like scam people, and you what are you
going to do to like take care of you know,
American women who really expect there to be providers. And
he's like obviously offended by that, Maxwell, and then Rod's like,
how much do you have in your bank account? And
when he says that, honey, Maxwell's real fucking pissed. He's like,
Nigerians know how to work. Americans are lazy, and Rod's like,
you're talking about Americans are lazy. And then Maxwell's like,
you have machines do everything for you. We have no
machines here. Everything we do we do with our own hands.
We have to count, you know whatever. It is like
we're doing it. I can't wait to be in America
and use the machines. And It's like, well, it's interesting, truly, Yes,
of course, the machines. Like if you I don't know,
if you were to be you know, on a car
lot selling cars, as you know, car salesperson, you would
have your machines like your computer and you have to
like log all your things. But yeah, you would still
have to make the sale. Bec a machine isn't making
the sale, unless, of course, people buy cars online. I
don't really know, you know, I'm you know, it's like
yes and no, there's always this idea that once you
get something, the world opens up to you. And it's
interesting to see this play out through other people's mentalities too.
There's this sort of need to problem solve the world.
I've talked about this a lot, where then your mind
signs a certain like you know, justice, Okay, this than this, well,
this than this right, And it's hard to free yourself
of that because you can get locked into a certain
way of thinking, Uh, if I'm in America, I will
make enough money and I'll be able to you know,
like be whatever. And that might not, you know, obviously
happen for a variety of reasons that you didn't even
take into account because you weren't in America yet. In
a like very small way, it's like so dumb. I remember,
like truly thinking in the early ads, like I booked
like three national commercial commercials, and I thought that I
would never have to work in a restaurant again. Like
this is like you know, I just thought, like I
just thought that growing up, like when you know you're
enacting classes and stuff that like once you start booing,
especially the timeframe the nineties and early on, it's like
national commercial commercials that you were like a working actor,
and you you know, that's what you were doing. That's
what's always going to happen. Now, you're just to keep
doing that. That's what you are now. A couple of
things happened. A commercial contracts shifted and so you didn't
make as much as you used to do. Uh. And
then also movie actors started to do commercials, so that
TV actors weren't being able to do commercials as much.
Movie actors were doing TV shows, and so like there
was like less of an opportunity that there was I
think in the realm before and or I wasn't even
a working commercial actor when I thought the things I thought,
and so when I got to be one, I was
wrong in what I thought because I wasn't even there
yet to know the ins and out. It's like okay,
but okay, but like we think, we just we want
there to be like meaning an order in life. So
we're like, well this and this and this and that, okay,
so all that to be Definitely, Maxwell has some ignorance
and nativte that, like it's easy to work in America
and make money now in some ways is it easier
than Nigeria. Yes, it's easier work to do a job
in America, and it's easier to live in America to me,
and I'm saying Medisine who's never lived in Nigeria. It's
just not easy to keep up and live how do
you think you should or well or to the degree
you think other people are in America or in the life,
even in the social media landscape. To keep up with
how you think everyone else is doing is overwhelming, you know,
because it's like you think that everyone is, you know,
driving the newest car and the newest nice car or
like the newest lux car or then everyone ever. You
think that everyone has you know, crazy vacations and you know,
crazy homes and all whatever it is, and some people do,
some seple don't. But like the it is very difficult
credit wise and utility, you know, utilities and how much
everything costs to live in the way that Americans live.
And if you haven't lived in America, you might not
understand all the things that happen. Now, Rod, who already
is coming in hot and Maxwell should be trying to charm,
is doing like a mediocre job because Rod hates him
and has to hear Maxwell like be like Maxwell means greatness,
so that's how you'll think of me. Rod's like, Now,
if this did turn into a situation where Rod pulled
Asha's aside and was like, don't do a girl, don't
do it when you got me right there, I think
that would be into it. It would give it a
little drama. I think it would be also would be fake. Okay,
So Maxwell does have like a little sister sidebar being like,
we don't. We don't scam. It's not for our family.
Our family likes to judge people based upon age. It's
more of our family's thing. I would say. Anyway, Okay, babes,
let's move on, shall we. Okay, Malory and Rashid, we
are wedding dress shopping and not at line Felds. But
this place looks adorable. I like this place. What a
homegrown place, honey. I like the sales associate Victoria. I
like the chalk with bubbly on the side. I don't know,
I like it. I like the chalkboard. You know, all
the ping. Now we know Malory is there with her
besties Mikayla and Katie. So now I really have to
understand is Katie part of this friend circle? Is Katie
romantically involved with Brandy. I mean, okay, why haven't they
told us this? Does it? Does Brandy just kind of
like hook up with everyone in the circle. Because if
Katie is going home from a party with Brandy that
there's been drink sat I'm assuming they hooked up. So
if Katie and Brandy are hooking up, we need to
know this is this is the like, this is the drama.
Speaker 2: Like I'm like, that's so, this is why I've been
making me mad because I think that the upcoming like
Malory Rashid drama, rasha drama, like with like whether the
kids are gonna happen for them, that feels forced and
fake because there's too many like tropes we have.
Speaker 1: It's like the secret into the oh no, will they
or won't they right before the wedding because like they
do these storytelling patterns to get drama right, and it's
like the secret, like I said, oh no, telling of
the secret and then will they make it to the altar?
I'm like, fuck all that, Katie? Are you fucking Brandon?
What's that? Like you guys just not putting a label
on it yet? Or also like Malory, are you all jealous?
How long? How long is you know? Like, I please,
please give me these what I actually want to know, Like, please,
it's rude doing all this, not give me what I want. Okay,
So we talked about Kleinfeld's Panina Torney lookalike dresses. Okay,
So at this wedding dress shop we get two Malorie dresses. Okay.
The first Mallorie dress is this one. And it's a
beautiful kind of plain like structured strapless dress that really
like accentuates her waist and also covers her neckline beautifully.
Like also, I'm saying this as a big tittied lady.
Strapless gowns can also easily like sort of fall down
in such a way or like start to fall in
the front, like that's what happens to my boobs on
the shading my boobs on the pull shading my body.
I'm not quite sure, but she looks gorgeous in that dress,
and she's like, I'm you know, don't anything that's too
tight or too see through because his family is going
to be like facetiming in and also like my family's
there or and my friends will get into more of
her family situation a second, which we don't really know,
and we're glad to know. Now She's like, I really
want to look classy, but later on I will look
like a five dollars horre. Honey, I'm going to make
that change. I can't wait. I love like a fun
wedding outfit change. So Mikayla and Katie, you know, get
that free champagne. You know, I don't know if she's
going to get the cheese platter for Murray's, but they
get the champagne. And we talked about the first dress.
The second dress that she tries on is a really beautiful,
like flower embroidered number with kind of like a I
don't know, I forgot it what you called it. It's
like the sleeping beauty neckline where there's like points out
got forgot it. I don't really know cuts of dresses
very well, but I wish I did. But it has
detachable which I don't love that part, pearl droopy sleeves
and they are reminiscent of Audrey Hepburn's dress in My
Fair Lady. That are gorgeous, super elegant. And then what
happened was there has been many different inspo dresses since then,
but unfortunately Kendall Jenner did a version of this, like
pearl droopy dress, I think in a met gala or
something like that, and it did become like also a trend.
So now in the Year of Our Lord twenty twenty five,
Mallory's like, this is what I'm thinking about doing. It's
unfortunate that I even bring up Kendall Jenner's name because
it really isn't obviously an Audrey Hepburn moment, but for
people to sort of like do things that haven't been
seen them come back up in a moment. It's annoying
to do a trend like that for your wedding because
in a couple of years, you'll be able to date
a wedding pick within two years, and there is a
certain loveliness to a classic, you know, sort of like
timelessness in a wedding dress because of all the pictures
in your life. It's just you know, it's an important
one and you're gonna see it, and it doesn't it
shouldn't be something to me that is like screaming a
certain year. People also like bring up the Grace Kelly dress,
her wedding dress as being that like that lace kind
of like body con dress on top that was also
I feel like Catherine Wales's dress. I really thought that's
a beautiful dress. I sort of, yeah, I do love
lace like that. Yeah, and I do love pearls or whatever.
It's just too it's too bad that like a drapy
sort of sleeve right there is just like so specific
and not just specific to something great like Audrey Hepperd,
but also specific to a trend that was been revisited
by a Kardashian Jenner. You know, I'm saying, don't do
it to yourself, That's what I'm saying. Don't get married
in that dress. Surely fine, where are that kind of dress?
If you like? And I do like it, you know,
to like an event right now, to like a sexy
nighttime event, But don't get married in that dress yet,
don't do it. Don't do it? Okay. So as she's
trngu on my dress, she's like, guess what, girls, there
might not even be a wedding. They're like what what?
And we're like, oh my god, and it's like, yeah,
here it comes. I have a secret, the secret that
I haven't told my husband or my fiance, and therefore
I might not even have a husband. It's like, what
is it, and if the secret is that she might
not want to have kids, and the reason is because
she had a horrible childhood. She has a shitty dad,
shitty mom, you know, real shitty mom, shitty dad. Both
of them just like absolute trash. Kicked her out when
she was in that car accident. Didn't come So she's
just like, why do I want to even? Like, what
am I going to be? What kind of mom am
I going to be? What? What instruction have I seen?
What example have I been shown that makes me feel
like I can do it? And both women are like,
but no, but he wants kids. But one thing we
know about him is he wants he wants kids right now.
He would have kids right now. You can't. You have
to tell you have to talk to him because he
wants kids. We're like, we it's interesting that, Yeah, it's
I guess my mind. I'm like, it's a little heavy
handed that you guys are so on the side of
him having and wanting kids. Surely she knows she's with him,
she knows that he wants kids. You're not like closer
to him than she is. You keep like you're saying
that over and over again, seemingly to fan the flames
of like the direness of this, Like, to me, it
seems like bad directing to have the friends being like, well,
you got to tell him he wants kids so bad,
because it's just like, yeah, it seems very obvious that
you're trying to raise the stakes, you know what I'm saying.
Can we just talk more about Brandy and Brandy's dick?
I want to like, why isn't Katie and fucking Mallory
talking about like, well does he do that thing sometimes
to you? Why doesn't Katy have a conversation with Rashet
where she's like, you don't have to worry about Brandy
and malorymore because I'm here and I take care of
my man and I can take care of you too.
Speaker 2: Min.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I want that kind of drama. Oh just
feels so fake. The next day, she's home with him
and she's making tea and he complains that it's too hot,
also that there's dog hare at it, which grows. She's like, no,
there's not, or it's fine, just use it to stir.
It's very listen, my dogs have very thick, straight hair.
Just use it to steer, steer, stir the tea. Is
it hard for you to say those two words right now?
Say the word stir and then say the word steer
ster her? Maybe maybe, now that I said it out loud,
not that hard. But when I was trying to say
to my mind hard steer stare steer stir, that's what
it is. Okay, she's upset. She's upset, and uh he
recognizes that uh face. He's like, why you are face
like toilet right now? He has such a way with words.
I mean he puts roomy to shame, like he knows
what he's doing. He knows what he's being funny with that, right,
that's hilarious. She's like, you're right. My face like toileta
right now because I have to tell you something. I
don't know if I want to have a baby. And
it's because I don't know if I would be a
good mom. He's like, why do you always think bad
all the time. She's like, why do you always think
good all the time. He's like, I need to have kids.
I want my parents to love my kids. It's like
I've seen them with my brothers and you know, they're kids,
and I want my parents to do that with my kids.
When my parents look back up at me and for
us all to know we did the thing where we
shared the jeans. You gave me jeans, I gave them jeans.
These are our jeans, jeans jeans. Sometimes you know we're
gonna be like, look that one has your eyes, that
one has your nose. Plus, Mallorie, have you seen me
and my brothers. We're hot, all of us sign a
contract with God where we said we're gonna keep these
genes going for humankind. So my parents they need to
see kids. He gets up and he walks away. He's
really upset. Every I'm assuming that he's going to go
to that little like shed where he likes to, you know,
build things. And we realize he's wearing a shirt. In
the shirt on the front side says have a nice day,
which is funny because he's like, he gets up and
walks away without saying anything, so it just feels like
he's said bad on the shirt. And then as he's
walking away, we see the back of the shirt and
the shirt has a finger putting, you know, a fuck
you symbol up. I'm sorry, a finger up is what
it is, because that is the fuck you SAI internationally,
and it is one of the more American shirts I've
seen in life, meaning that he's already done the transition.
Why didn't he wear this shirt to the white Trash party?
This is a white trash shirt. That's the white trashiest
shirt ever. Now, again, we're supposed to really really believe
and sit in like, oh, no, they might not get
married now because he wants kids and she doesn't know
if she wants to have kids, because we understand she's
been through turmoil. So what do we do. We're gonna
wait and it's like, no, we know they're gonna get married.
They love each other. They're one of the better, like
stronger couples on the season and in past seasons. So
I guess in my mind, I'm like, yeah, like, why
can't we just focus on things that are happening there?
Like why do they think we need the old secret?
Oh no, will they or won't they? It's been played
out so many times, You've done it so many times.
I guess. Also, the here's just this, I'm not okay.
I don't want Rash to experience any sort of discriminate discrimination.
They set up that that could happen. So my only
question is the entire time that he's been here, has
nothing happened, Like he's just had perfect experiences the whole
time with everyone. Again, I don't want him have a
bad experience. I'm just saying in storytelling, why is they
set up that that might happen? And so did it? Anyway?
I just okay, okay. My love's last couple is Katie
and Josh. My god, Katie and Josh. All right, So
they're at a cake consultation with her parents Danielle, Sorry,
Daniel and Debrah. It's forty five days to wed. Now
We're all like, what this is so weird for a
lot of reasons. Hey, why do we care about Daniel
and Debrah's view once on this Also, we had known
but we don't even we know that there's no venue yet, Like,
where is that happening? So they're expecting they say fifty
people to the cake people were like, oh okay. The
cake people are like, what are your colors that you
have in mind? And she's like, I don't have any
colors in mind. He's like, well, how about burgundy. She's like,
well except that color. I had that color, not in mind.
I had in mind, not that color. She says, though,
that for this wedding, she will not be bossy like
a bridezilla. She's just going to be her regular amount
of bossy, which is obviously already too much. Also, weirdly,
something about her is that everyone in her life is like,
she's so bossy, and yet everyone's only too happy to
put her in charge of everything. I would assume if
I had the power of a family behind me, and
then someone who is doing something wrong, I could use
the power of the family to put the person in
their place by being like, listen, bossy, yes, bitch, you
don't get to control everything. Now I get to, or
we'd get to the democracy of this family because you
have shown yourself to be unreliable and not a dictator.
We find out that they don't have a venue yet
for some reason, they thought there might be an option
to get married at her parents' house. So they just
ask the parents if they can have a wedding at
the house. And I don't know what the parents' backyard
looks like that there's no chance. I would think that
this house could probably do like fifty people. Her parents
are like, no, no, and that's crazy that you would ask.
But here's the thing. It's like, you should think that
your daughter's going to ask because the one thing, well,
there's a couple of things we know about Katie. Of
course OCD, drunk making out. She loves to be frugal,
So I would assume that my daughter's first line of
defense over anything would be to use me or whatever
I have for free for her. So if she needed
a venue, and I had a venue that I live
in day and day out, I would assume this self
serving cheap person to be like, let's use you without
any sort of like rhyme or reason of how that
might impact you in your life. Because Katie's like, I'll
sleep in a car, So why who cares? If you know,
I don't know, I wouldn't want to have a wedding
in my home, but I've never you know, I just
that's me. Okay. So they now have to fight a venue,
which seems like thing you to do number one, besides
the fact they also have to find clothes to wear
and also send out invites on a date. But for
some reason, the cake goes the first thing that they
decided to do. And I don't even really understand if
we got a decision on that, because at this cake situation.
Josh finds out that Katie has been getting contacted by
the shipping people that are shipping all of his UK stuff,
and she says that she has told him that she's
been dealing with them, and he says that she hasn't,
and that this has been like a high priority thing
for him that he's been worrying about, and she is
treating it like it's not really a big deal, and
the situation is something like they told her there's going
to be a three hour window of them delivering his
stuff to their place in Portland where they're not and
she has to now. She's like, you have to call
them to get the window changed because we're not there.
And he's like what. He's like, why do they have
your number? And again yeah, we're like why do they
have your number? You're from the UK, you have a phone,
has WhatsApp. She's like, I told you in a text.
We're like, okay, well then where's the text. She has
a lot on her plate for someone who keeps screaming
about not wanting to have a lot on her plate
and how she can't handle her plate. That's all she's
really said to us, And for some reason, it's always like, yeah,
he doesn't like the way I do things. He thinks
I can't do things right, and so the whole play,
the whole finding out apartments on my shoulder, Like Josh,
if you think those things, then buddy, you start to
do some things. Also, the priority of what you do
in this relationship seems to be off. Like, for instance,
if you want to have nice furniture and you want
to have a nice bed, and you like want those things,
and you want nice eggs, then the priority of what
you're giving to this should be going out getting the eggs,
getting the furniture, all of that stuff. What to me
seems weird. I don't know. This seems wild to me
that they're going to have any Easter of just Katie,
even though she has siblings, her parents, and then her grandparents,
no one else, no nieces, no nephews, no aunts, no uncles,
no cousins, at a major holiday at her parents' house,
which has very haphazard decorations. I mean, like what looks
like one weird reef from like a Home Goods and
then like something from a CBS. I mean it's like
all crazy looking, and he's going to cook for their Easter.
I can't even get over, Like, how weird I think
it is to have like a guest who's never been
to your home cooked for Easter cook the meal. I
think it's crazy. Okay, but she's you know, until this point.
Now we're like hot on the heels of him needing
needing to like be Lutheran, you know. And now that
he'd I guess called the people, She's like, you know,
here meets these chickens, you know, and they have some
fun back and forth over the fact that she wants
to try and capture one of the chickens, and her
chasing with chickens around is sort of, you know, as
reminiscent of her chasing around someone at a bar. And
he can laugh about that because this is seemingly not
as humiliating as it would be for someone else. She says,
she always has a favorite chicken, and I wonder if
the chickens can tell. He asks if the chickens are dirty,
I mean that's relative. I mean they're walking around, you know,
on dirt. So you know, she's wearing a red lip
and a red dress with red earrings. She really loves red.
You know, it's like a power color. For her. She
loves that color. She holds a chicken for a pick
and it's cute. Josh wants no part of him in
the pick. So but they're in a good mood because
they had a nice evening of shagging, he says. And
before they serve his food for lunch, her parents set
up an egg hunt egg hunt just for them again,
because there's no kids there. This is just them, the
two adults. So the older adults set up a hard
egg hunt just for them, where there's one golden egg
with two dollars in the middle. This is some of
the whitest shit I've had. I mean, this seems really basic,
really boring, really like I don't mean to say white,
but like just not necessary, bland, unseasoned, weird, awkward or
cold or uncanny valley like it's all of those things.
And it's like it like it starts with again that
he's cooking for this family. Then they it's not a
real Easter, right because there's no one else really like
there and there's nothing really happening that they didn't seemingly
go to church in the morning, Like why if this
is Easter? And the whole thing about them being Lutheran.
I would assume that this scene, and this is saying,
like from a Catholic porn of view, that the day
would be we're making Josh go church. You're seeing that
all of the church shit Easter and Allelulijah, and He's
raisen all of that. Then we're going to our house
where our family is there, and you see a typical Easter.
There are our little kids, and we've dyed these eggs,
and there's an Easter egg hunk for kids or you
know whatever, goblass. But none of that's happened, which makes
this feel false, weird, fake, you know what I'm saying.
Why is he cooking sausage rolls for a holiday he
doesn't even know or like or subscribe to. Why wouldn't
he have done the sausage rolls like the night they
got there are a different night. Why isn't her mom
making food? Why is there no ham honey? Why is
there no honey baked ham? I don't get it unless
you can really tell me, like this is just a
very specificness of Lutheran culture and I don't know it,
which I would be like, Okay, you're right, I don't
know it. I don't know what I'm a cultural Catholic
and I'm a Lebanese person, so like, I don't know, Josh
is like, I don't want to have uh a kuns
for my kids. It's too competitive, which makes him seem
so wimpy. A hunts are fine, Like sports are fine.
You're not gonna have what You're not gonna have your
kids play any sports then, because like A hunts whatever,
Like they can't play baseball or basketball? Ever, how about
rugby any of You're weird English sports? So soccer? So
I mean football. Do you think football is too competitive?
I mean, because surely it is. I mean you can
give that, I mean makes no sense. So then we
get a horrible conversation. Katie's grandparents are there, and you know,
God blessed to have some other people at this table,
and Katie's like comprehension levels are really suspect. Katie suddenly
becomes like an Asia level god person of religious understanding,
where she's like, Mommy, if Josh doesn't convert to Lutheranism,
is he gonna go to Hell for the rest of
his life. He's gonna be burning hell all how long,
all for eternity, while I'm in heaven in front of Josh.
Josh is like, I'm agnostic. This is like this alone,
this conversation is so banana ramas that I can't imagine
any rational person getting married after it. Like if you
are like I'm agnostic, no, I you know, I don't
really know if there's or not. And you think you're
gonna get married to someone who's all all over on
the side of like say yes to this one, to
this one kind of branch of God right now, right here,
or for the rest of life. I'm sorry, for the
rest of time, you'll be in damnation. Like that's just
very different viewpoints. And Katie starts to be like, I
just want you and my kids to have the same
values the Lutheran set of premiere values, which is tequila
means you can make out with people. I mean it
means Jesus loves us. Like you're just like what, Like
it's so crazy that you're like, Josh is the Debbie
of this situation where you're like, Debbie, why would you
stay with me? Thought that everyone's like Josh, why would
you stay with Katie? Katie seems to have a very
very like black and white understanding of some things, and
she cannot comprehend the nuance of things like she cannot
comprehend the nuance that her way isn't the highway, and
so everything that she thinks to be true. God is Lutheran.
Mom said, God is Lutheran. Mom said word Lutheran. Mom said,
Heaven exists only for Lutheran. I need to check the
oven fourteen times. I need to check the oven fourteen times.
You shouldn't be so stringent in your planning. Like all
of the things that she holds true, she holds true
in a way that she doesn't allow space for like
anything else right. And yet it's interesting to me because
she will admit having hard times with like executive functioning
or decision making or planning. So I guess at this
I've brought this up. It's like, how you have both
the ability to understand that you have hardship in this
as well as be like, oh no, but I'm right
and it's only my way. The way you're doing it
is wrong. He basically has to try and defend the
fact that he does not want to be a Lutheran
or doesn't believe in Jesus Christ to her family in
a way that is awkward because of course. Like the
grandma's like, well, you have to believe in God. It's
not gonna work if you don't. And the mom's like, well,
if you don't accept Jesus Christ as you're a Lord
and savior and no heaven. So I mean, you know
Katie's right. Is that the one thing she is right about,
even like Katie's grandparents are like, she is bossy, she's
a lot, but she's right about that God stuff. She's like,
I don't understand. I told you I was a Lutheran
a long time ago, so you were fine with it.
He's like, well, I also told you I was agnostic then,
and you were fine with it. We both just accepted
that at that moment. That's what had happened me. Hearing
that you were a Lutheran wasn't like me being like, okay,
now I will be too. It's weird that you thought that,
because I didn't think that when I said I was agnostic,
that you were gonna be like, oh okay, now me too.
It seems like Katie does not want to get married,
and so the making out with people is a way
for her to put a bridge in between or put
a roadblock in that because she can't be expected to
be like a you know, faithful wife if that's what's happening,
and he should think twice about that. But it also
feels like this deal breaker suddenly of like having Lutheran
kids and him being Lutheran is another way for her
to be like, oh, maybe it won't work out because
I don't think Katie he loves him like that. I
think that Katie has insecurity issues and Katie feels like
comfortable with him, and Katie has people like Katie's mom
and her life being like, you should be nice to
him because he's the best you'll ever get and you're weird.
So take this one. I guess I would. He's good
for you. He makes you seem normal a little bit.
So like it feels like Katie is dealing with both
of those things in her head, and that's that's why
we're seeing her sort of in real time weigh those things.
He's like, they're like, will you go to church with us?
He's like, I'm not, I don't want to. Are you
asking me that without Katie's input? Would I be like
I want to get up early on a Sunday and
go to church for an hour and a half. No,
but I'm surrounded by you people right now, and you
haven't said if you like my sausage rolls yet, so
oh maybe i'd be like, enjoy your sausage roles. Ask
me later. I don't see any fucking mashed potatoes around here.
Where's your sides? I don't know. I can't wait to
see what happens though. All right, my loves, thank you
so much for being with me for these two parts
of this. So help me, God recap, so help me
God on Ahama deal with this season. I need your help.
So help me, you guys and God slash Asia slash
the Lutheran version of God. I didn't know Lutherans were
so like militant? Are They are the Lutherans the people
that were like the Puritans. I gotta do some research.
That's a distootoo stupid question. I'm sorry, I'll do some research.
I'll come back to you, all right, my babes. If
you haven't yet, please follow me. I'm at Chris el
Fara on TikTok and on Instagram. I have a Patreon
dot com slash Chris Farah. I have a Facebook group
called Vanity Farah and my page Chris Farah on Facebook
that you can go ahead and like, I also would
appreciate any sort of sharing you can do on like
you know, your friends or on Reddit or any sort
of forms of things that you've enjoyed or you know,
reels you like of me or whatnot. Truly would help
me in so many ways. But also give me like
that review would also help me. So thank you so
much for helping me. Is what I'm trying to say.
I love you guys.
Speaker 3: Let's breathe and I'll let you guys go h feel
your heart, plant your feet. Let's do the thing where
we touch ourselves and bring ourselves to this very moment
and connect our hearts, our minds, our souls, our spirits,
our energies with acious God and Katie's God and God.
But if you're an agnostic, also the universal divine Spirit
that energetically connects us all as people that share the reality.
Okay too breast.
Speaker 1: To kind of try and get us into a rhythm.
Wondering that if you're listening to this, maybe someone else
is listening at the same time, and you guys are
experiencing something together. This really probably in the moment, it's
not digital or fake. Okay, here we go.
Speaker 4: Blow it out, breath it in twice.
Speaker 1: All right, babes, take care of yourselves and one another,
staying up for what you believe, and make art. I'll
talk to you bye.