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Speaker 1: I shot the buck just after dusk, beneath the stand

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of ash trees mottled with rot. The sound of the

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rifle cracked through the quiet in that empty stretch of forest,

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and for a second everything stilled. Then the insects resumed.

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It was in sport, It never was. The thing limped

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when it moved back, Legs swollen at the knee, left antless,

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split and jagged at the base, eyes already clouding. From

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fifty feet away, I could smell the sickness. I've worked

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enough control jobs to know the signs of chronic wasting

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disease see w D for short. Before the field tests

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confirmed it. Wasting is slow. It hollows them out from

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the inside, leaves them standing in creeks with their mouths open,

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drinking nothing. The state's mandate was clear. Any deer with

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visible symptoms was to be put down and reported. I

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approached with gloves on, took the usual post mortem photos,

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and recorded the GPS coordinates marked the tag number AH

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DASH seven seven sixty nine, clipped beneath the skin fold

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near the right shoulder, standing insert deep enough that scavengers

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wouldn't reach it easily. The retrieval team was scheduled to

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arrive by morning to haul the body in for testing

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and disposal. I stayed long enough to watch the flies settle.

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Then I hiked back through the thinning trees and drove

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to the ranger's lot, where I kept my temporary log book.

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Entry made time, recorded, another task finished. The next morning,

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I got a call. Nothing there, the guy said, through

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the crackling line. Some bone scatattered, no hide, no carcass.

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I told him. I bagged it clean, tagged it myself,

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gave the coordinates again. Most have been coyotes or a bear.

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You know how quick they are this time of year.

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I also knew what was normal and what wasn't. Predators

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don't clean up after themselves. There was no fur left,

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no drag marks, no prints in the soil around the site.

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They logged it as unrecovered. Told me not to worry.

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These things happen. Still, I wrote a secondary entry in

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my personal field notes, separate from the agency forms mail

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estimate five years left ant LA fracture swollen rear joined

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tracking tag ardas seven seven sixty nine confirmed, no retrieval,

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carcass missing. It wasn't the first time something went off

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script out here, but this one wouldn't leave me. Something

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about the way it looked just before I pulled the trigger.

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Not startled, not wide eyed, just still. Later that evening,

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while transferring photos for filing, I noticed the last one

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in the series, a frame taken just before I shouldered

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the rifle. The bugs standing there, angled toward me, head tilted.

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It almost looked like it was waiting. I wasn't even

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thinking about it when it showed up again. It was

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nearly midnight when I sat down with a trail camp footage.

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We rotate through drives every few days, set up motion

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triggered camps across the perimeter to catch anything sick or

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staggering through the zone after hours. The forrest goes dead

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quiet at night, but that's when the worst ones move.

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The late stay each wonderers the ones the diseases already

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hollowed out. That was my part of the job. Tracked

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sig deer and called the population to reduce the spread.

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We had an on site lap working on possible treatments

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at the same time. I clicked through without much focus,

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just background noise. While I compiled sample logs. One camera

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had flagged motion across the ravine three nights prior. The

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footage was grainy, black and white, timestamped just after one

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a m. A deer across from right to left, angling

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downhill through a dried creek bed limber but slow. I

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paused on the third frame. Something about the shape caught me.

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I zoomed in, rear legs slightly raised, the joint bulged

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front left antler crooked backward at the base, not broken off,

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but walked like the cor had splint. I already knew

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what I was looking at before the shape got closer

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to the camera. There was a faint glint behind the shoulder.

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One of our tracking tags, iridescent under infrared, positioned exactly

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where I had inserted our dash seven seven sixty nine.

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It was the same book the one I shot, no mistake,

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same wound, the same tag, same stance. I leaned forward,

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rewound and let it play again. But this time I

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noticed something else. The gate was wrung. The rear leg

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didn't drag in the twitchy spasmodic way late stage CWD

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sofferers usually moved. It swung smooth, unbroken, too clean. There

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was no tension in the neck either. The head stayed

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level even as it walked uneven terrain, as if something

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else was moving the limbs, but not from within. No bobbing,

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no tension through the spine. It was as if the

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body was being pulled forward in segments, carried, not powered.

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I went cold. I checked the GPS location embedded in

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the file. It was within a quarter mile of the

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same stand of ash where I'd shot it days ago.

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It has the same elevation and the same forest density.

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I crossed reference the tree formations behind the figure, thin

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lines of leafless branches, a birch with a split trunk,

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and matched them to my phone photos from the calling sight.

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Too close, too precise. There's a coincidence, and then there's this,

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which meant either the shot had missed somehow or something

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else was walking around with a dear skin. I didn't

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sleep much that night. I lay in my cot with

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my laptop screen still open, paused on the frame of

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that buck, standing still in the ravine, head, low limbs,

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straight eyes, barely catching the light. It was facing the camera.

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The footage kept coming. Each morning, brought a new flagged clip.

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Each time, the same buck, same shattered antler, and the

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same crooked back leg, always alone, always after midnight, always

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brushing at the edge of the camera's infrared beam, as

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if it knew just how much it could show without

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being caught full on. At first I thought I was

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looking for patterns out of paranoia, but by the third

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night I started marking the appearances on a field map.

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The dots were scattered at first, too scattered to mean much,

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But on the fifth entry I saw it. It was

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moving in a slow arc, not a wondering loop, not

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lost or disoriented pattern. There was structure to it. The

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deer was following a wide perimeter path around the zone.

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Not random, not frantic, steady, predictable, as if it were

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circling something or someone. I checked the camera's placement again,

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laid out the route, and drew the circle. It wasn't perfect,

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but it was closing. In the last three appearances had

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all been a little tighter. I followed the progression and

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placed a pushpin at the rough center. It was us

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the base camp trailer, which meant either this thing was

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tracking me or retracing the path of its own death,

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maybe both. I packed a small kit and headed out

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at first light, telling the team I was following a

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trail report that was an unusual I'd done solo follow

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ups before, and no one questioned it. I hiked about

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forty minutes to reach the spot where i'd put the

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buck down. The ash trees were still there, same slope,

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same wingcarved patch of dead earth with the undergrowth had

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never fully returned after the fires a few years back.

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But there was no blood, no drag marks, not even

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a disturbed pile of leaves. What I found instead was

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a shallow depression in the dirt, ringed with brush and sticks.

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Not a scrape, not a bedding spot. Something had arranged

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the space intentionally. In the center a crude pile of

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gathered debris, small bones, some snapped bird feathers, the twisted

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remains of something that looked like a jaw. It was

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almost organized. It had a rough symmetry, though not in

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a way a deer should be capable of. They don't build,

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they don't nest, they don't collect, which meant it was

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acting on instinct. Something in it, whatever was walking that

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body was aware, deliberate, maybe even learning. I took photos,

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sent them to my field laptop, and marked the area

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for follow up. But I didn't send the images to

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the department, not yet. I wasn't ready to explain why

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I was chasing a deer that should have been rotting

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under six inches of dirt. When I packed up and

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turned to leave, I swore I heard something shift behind

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the tree line. Not the crash of a startled animal,

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just the slow, deliberate shift of weight, as if something

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waited until I looked away. I didn't turn around. I

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walked back to camp with the sense that whatever this

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thing was, it had built something, and it was only

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the beginning. It was nearly three a m. When something

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hit the cabin wall. Not a scratch or scrape, a thud,

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heavy and direct. No follow up, no scurry of retreating hoofs,

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just one single deliberate impact. The sound jolted me upright.

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I stayed frozen for a moment, ear straining. Then another

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noise came, much softer, this time a slight creak of

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the pine frame settling or something leaning into it. I

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grabbed the laptop and flipped through the most recent footage.

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The cabin camp facing the entry showed nothing, just the

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unmoving trail of crusted grass and the steel bare box.

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I clicked over to the rear feed, one I'd set

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up mostly to monitor raccoon activity. That's where I saw it.

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Not close up, not detailed, but enough. The deer stood

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just within the infrared glow, upright, not on all fours, standing.

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Its rear legs were locked to the joints, thin but rigid.

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The rest of the body sacked forward, front, limbs dangling

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like dead weight. Its chest was bowed, the rib cage compressed.

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The head hung far too forward before slowly lifting. Stiff

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and unsure. It took one step forward, then another. Every

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movement was strained, trembling with the effort to balance. It

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moved like a puppet strung by hands that had never

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seen a living thing. But it kept its head upright.

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Even in the poor resolution, I could see it tracking

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the lens. Its face had changed. The snout was partly

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caved in, no longer a clean line of bone and fur.

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Skin slumped over one side, sagging down past the jaw.

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It looked heavier than before, swollen or softened. No glint

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of eyes, just the hollows where they used to sit.

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It didn't graze, didn't sniff, just stood there watching. This

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wasn't a scavenger wearing a carcass. It was an instinct.

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It was tracking something me. I closed the laptop and

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went to the filing crate under the bunk. I dug

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out the original kill log, the handwritten one, but not

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the digital report I filed later. It had blood on

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the corner from the tagging knife, but everything else was clean. Coordinates, time,

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tag code, a quick field sketch, and then I saw

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it scrawled in the side margin, a faint pencil, nearly

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scrubbed away burn after disposal. I hadn't noticed it. The

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retrieval crew had never shown there was an instruction left

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by the lad team. I had missed, which meant whatever

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that thing was, whatever was walking around in the hollowed

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out body of that deer, I had left it there.

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I had given it time. I grabbed the heavy lock

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from the gear chest and bolted the front door, pushed

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the chair under the handle out of some new tiless instinct.

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He wouldn't stop anything with real weight behind it, but

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it made me feel like I was doing something outside.

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The wind had dropped, no forest movement, no insects ticking

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against the window glass. It felt like the woods had

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emptied out, like the normal rules of wilderness had paused.

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I didn't sleep. I sat in the corner with the

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camera feed open, staring at the second angle, waiting for

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it to return. But it never did. Morning light led

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through the close curtains. The print out still sat on

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the counter, half crumpled burn after disposal. I hadn't shown

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it to anyone, who would I tell. I just kept

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refreshing the trail camp and waiting for another ping. Nothing yet.

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My head was starting to hurt, probably from the stress.

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My sinnesses felt swollen and pressure was mounting. Still, I

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needed to see it again, not through a screen. I

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needed something to confirm it was just the deer, some

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rational explanation, something my brain could pin down. I hiked

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back to the clearing in the late afternoon with the

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same gear and the same boots. The air felt heavier

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out there, still but watchful. I stepped carefully, scanning the

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brush around the old kill site. No body, of course,

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that was gone the first time, but something else had

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been left behind. Near a thicket, I found a patch

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of fur snagged along a thorn bush, dark coarse, unmistakable.

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A few feet beyond that, I spotted a smear of

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something dark on the flat side of a spilled rock.

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Looked dry and waxy, not rot exactly, almost preserved I

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pulled the sample with tweezers, wrapped it in foil, and

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packed it for the walk. Back in my cabin, I

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set up my old field scope. It was an high end,

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barely better than a biology student's training model, but it

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could still read enough at low magnification. I sliced the

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sliver from the waxy tissue and placed it on a

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slide with a sailine drop. The second I looked through

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the lens, I felt the back of my neck go cold.

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There were seams, not cuts, not scars, seam lines, tiny

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symmetrical striations crossing in a grid pattern just below the surface.

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The cells weren't dried out either. They were alive. More

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than alive, they were organized, pulsing faintly. Something was knitting

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them together, as if the tissue had been rebuilt rather

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than preserved, which meant it hadn't died the way I thought,

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or if it had, it hadn't stayed that way. No

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dear tissue behaves like that, especially not after sitting exposed

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00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,799
to weather or scavengers for days. It should have been

236
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:31,680
dust by now. I set up a quick test with

237
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:35,079
what I had, some ammonia base cleaner and a few

238
00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:40,599
protein indicators crude, sure, but good enough for basic reactivity.

239
00:18:41,759 --> 00:18:45,079
I placed another tissue sliver in a shallow dish, added

240
00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:54,039
the cleaning agent, and watched. The reaction was instant, violent bubbling,

241
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:57,359
a hiss of vapor, and a reek like scorched air

242
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:02,119
and formaldehyde. The tissue turn black, curling in on itself

243
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:06,039
like it had nerves. The smell was chemical, but sharp

244
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,920
enough to sting behind my eyes. I rinsed the dish

245
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:14,200
and flushed the sample. My hands were shaking, but I

246
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:18,759
couldn't stop thinking. I couldn't stop asking myself what regenerative

247
00:19:18,839 --> 00:19:22,920
mechanism could survive that reaction? What kind of biology could

248
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:29,559
fake life that cleanly? I searched for anything similar, fungal colonies,

249
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:36,079
synthetic graphs, parasitic worms that repurpose host tissue, but nothing matched.

250
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:42,519
By nightfall, I was just staring at the wall, mind blank.

251
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:47,799
The camera feed pinged. I tapped on the app the

252
00:19:47,839 --> 00:19:54,319
clearing cam had triggered. There it was again. The deer

253
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:59,279
stood at the tree line, just standing. But something was different.

254
00:19:59,319 --> 00:20:02,920
This time. I had to squint to see it, but

255
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:07,319
I couldn't unsee it. Once I noticed it. The left

256
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:13,640
foreleg was gone, not chewed or torn, just missing. The

257
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,319
skin along the shoulder was smooth, pale under the moonlight,

258
00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:22,680
stretched tight like clay. But the thing didn't limp. It

259
00:20:22,759 --> 00:20:26,480
stood evenly, shifting its weight like the limb had never

260
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:31,039
been there at all. I assumed. In further, as much as

261
00:20:31,079 --> 00:20:36,680
the grainy frame would allow, the deer turned toward the camera.

262
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:44,480
I froze. The neck didn't turn smoothly. It cracked sideways,

263
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,480
fast and unnatural, the rest of the body remaining still

264
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:54,400
a snap in the joint or somewhere deeper. But it

265
00:20:54,440 --> 00:21:00,799
didn't recoil, didn't blink. It just stared directly at the lens,

266
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:05,759
and for a moment I had the horrible impression it

267
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:14,200
saw me, not the camera me. Then it walked off screen,

268
00:21:15,279 --> 00:21:23,480
not limping, not struggling, just walking purposefully. I shut the

269
00:21:23,519 --> 00:21:28,160
app and sat there until sunrise. No new alerts came

270
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:33,480
in that night. I stopped sleeping for more than an

271
00:21:33,519 --> 00:21:37,400
hour at a time. The headaches were worse, now, full

272
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:41,119
pressure behind the eyes, like something swelling beneath my skull.

273
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,480
My nose wouldn't stop bleeding that morning. It was just

274
00:21:45,519 --> 00:21:49,279
a thin trickle that ran whenever I tilted forward. I

275
00:21:49,319 --> 00:21:54,119
couldn't hold food, couldn't hold a thought. I told work

276
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,480
I was sick. I didn't go in. I didn't tell

277
00:21:57,519 --> 00:22:01,000
them why. I just wanted to be alone to figure

278
00:22:01,039 --> 00:22:05,480
it out, to run the test again. I kept telling

279
00:22:05,519 --> 00:22:09,680
myself this was chronic wasting disease. I had studied it,

280
00:22:09,759 --> 00:22:13,720
after all, that's why we were here. But this didn't

281
00:22:13,759 --> 00:22:18,720
match the spread pattern, no drooping ears, no emaciation, and

282
00:22:18,799 --> 00:22:24,160
the regeneration didn't make sense. The movement, the fact that

283
00:22:24,279 --> 00:22:29,720
it stood. I pulled up the trail camarchive, a new

284
00:22:29,759 --> 00:22:34,400
ping two nights ago, camera twelve, the farthest one facing

285
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:38,880
the southern edge where the old logging road ends. At

286
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:43,720
first I thought it was a poacher, human shape movement,

287
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:49,319
slow head tilted too far down, but the figure was shirtless,

288
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:55,440
stumbling with hands twitching at his side, knee stiff. Then

289
00:22:55,480 --> 00:23:01,160
he turned slightly toward the lens and I froze. I

290
00:23:01,319 --> 00:23:07,559
recognized him, not the face, the posture, the build, the

291
00:23:07,559 --> 00:23:12,200
way one shoulder hunts slightly from an old break. It

292
00:23:12,279 --> 00:23:15,720
was Nathan, one of the seasonal hires who helped with

293
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:19,160
retrieval and sight clean up. He hadn't shown up the

294
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:24,359
base in over a week. New angle camera thirteen, same

295
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:29,880
clearing thirty seconds long. The deer came through first from

296
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:35,680
the left, limping, dragging one hind leg. Then it stopped,

297
00:23:36,559 --> 00:23:41,119
just stood there. Seconds later, the man entered from the

298
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:46,440
opposite side, crawling hands and feet in the dirt. He

299
00:23:46,559 --> 00:23:52,880
stopped a few feet from the deer. Neither reacted. There

300
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:58,319
was no fear, no sound. They simply coexisted, standing and

301
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:03,440
swaying in the same poisoned wind. That was the last clip.

302
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:08,640
No new alerts came after that. I closed the app.

303
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:13,400
I sat there for hours, waiting for another pin. The

304
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:17,519
room was still, but I couldn't hear birds anymore, no

305
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:21,680
buzz of summer insects outside the cabin. Even the trees

306
00:24:21,759 --> 00:24:27,720
looked off. The underbrush is too low, too quiet. I

307
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:31,319
checked my nose, another streak of blood on the back

308
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:37,119
of my hand. I hadn't even felt it. I felt woozy,

309
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:50,480
so I lay down and passed out. The final trout

310
00:24:50,519 --> 00:24:53,160
cam clip was still frozen on screen. When I woke

311
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,680
I shut the laptop. My nose had started bleeding again,

312
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:02,000
slow and steady. Using a warm smear down past my

313
00:25:02,079 --> 00:25:05,599
upper lip, I wiped it with a sleeve of my hoodie,

314
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,599
staring at the wall for a moment as my breath

315
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:13,400
came in shallow polls. The air felt too heavy, or

316
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:17,640
maybe my lungs were slowing down. I tried calling Nathan,

317
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:20,559
the assistant I thought I had seen in the footage.

318
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:25,920
A call rang twice, then cut the voicemail. The backup

319
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,240
tablets still had access to the DNR field office network.

320
00:25:30,039 --> 00:25:32,400
I logged in and pulled the remote track of logs.

321
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:37,000
No check ins for thirty six hours, not from the

322
00:25:37,039 --> 00:25:42,960
monitoring team, field counters or even the auto flagged deer cams.

323
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:48,799
Nothing hyping the emergency contacts. All three admin names came

324
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:54,000
up offline. In the bathroom mirror, I didn't look right.

325
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:58,279
The skin under my eyes was drawn and waxy. My

326
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:02,119
face pale in a way that life couldn't explain. A

327
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,920
red burst had crept into the white of my left eye.

328
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:09,359
Capillaries bloomed outward like roots. When I pressed a knuckle

329
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:15,160
to my cheekbone, the pressure dulled slowly, without edge. I

330
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:19,079
didn't need a blood panel to confirm it. Whatever was

331
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:23,119
in the deer, whatever it kept it moving, was in

332
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:28,599
me now too, And if I was infected, it meant

333
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:33,680
I was on a timer. I didn't bother calling the

334
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:38,359
office again. I didn't report symptoms. There wasn't anyone left

335
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:42,599
to explain it to. If I waited for help, I'd

336
00:26:42,599 --> 00:26:47,880
be a walking corpse before anyone arrived. I packed fast

337
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:52,960
cold packs, the preserved sample trail notes, ammonia strips, and

338
00:26:53,039 --> 00:26:58,000
field accelerants, every drive that had footage, a USB with

339
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:02,039
basic microscope imaging software, enough canned food to last a

340
00:27:02,039 --> 00:27:06,000
few days if I needed them. The wind outside had

341
00:27:06,039 --> 00:27:11,400
gone still. The cabin didn't creak. No birds called, no insects,

342
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:16,240
just the low hum of trees remembering their weight. The

343
00:27:16,319 --> 00:27:19,880
main lab was seventy miles north d n R, affiliated

344
00:27:20,039 --> 00:27:24,640
but independent. It had a backup generator, cold storage, and

345
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:28,440
a sterilization hood. If I could get there before my

346
00:27:28,519 --> 00:27:33,079
symptoms worsened, maybe I could finish what I started, trace

347
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,200
the spread, burn out whatever I had learned to wear skin.

348
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,880
I locked the cabin door behind me one last glance

349
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:48,720
at the tree line. Nothing moved, but the silence felt aware.

350
00:27:50,279 --> 00:27:53,400
I got in the truck, started the engine and drove

351
00:27:53,519 --> 00:27:57,319
without checking the rear view. If I didn't make it

352
00:27:57,359 --> 00:28:05,200
in time, no one would. I reached the lamb just

353
00:28:05,319 --> 00:28:08,839
past dusk. The trees pressed in tight along the road,

354
00:28:09,319 --> 00:28:12,200
branches clawing at the truck as I rolled up the

355
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:16,519
gravel path. No signs of field biologists or late shifts,

356
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:20,160
just the wind and the low hum of the backup generator,

357
00:28:20,559 --> 00:28:26,440
struggling to keep rhythm. The front doors were unlocked. Inside,

358
00:28:26,799 --> 00:28:31,279
the overhead fluorescence flickered behind stained plastic covers. A couple

359
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:35,799
bulbs buzzed in their sockets, casting long, uneven shadows across

360
00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:40,039
the tiled floor. The air smelled faintly of bleach and

361
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:48,599
something else, something deeper, damp, iron, sweet. No voices greeted me,

362
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,839
No motion, just the slow, steady beap of a security

363
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:56,880
door stuck half a jar. In the back hallway, the

364
00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:00,400
reception desk was abandoned, a mug of coffee. They still

365
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:03,880
steamed faintly. The room stained with a half finished sip.

366
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,880
A pair of reading glasses sat beside it, folded neatly,

367
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:14,359
as if someone meant to return. They hadn't. I moved

368
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:18,599
deeper into the facility. The surveillance room was unlocked, which

369
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:23,160
wasn't protocol. The wall of monitors stuttered with looping footage

370
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:27,680
from around the building. Front gate, access hall generator room

371
00:29:28,039 --> 00:29:33,920
exterior trails. One feed caught my attention. A shape crouched

372
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:40,839
in the tree line behind the lab, not human, broad shouldered, hunched, unmoving.

373
00:29:42,079 --> 00:29:46,039
Another monitor showed a figure walking shirtless down a staff hallway,

374
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:51,279
bare feet, pale skin. He was dragging something behind him,

375
00:29:51,599 --> 00:29:56,079
a metal pole clattering against the tile. There wasn't a

376
00:29:56,119 --> 00:29:59,839
patient wing in this building, no beds, no IV stands,

377
00:30:00,839 --> 00:30:04,759
but I knew what I saw. I killed the feeds,

378
00:30:05,319 --> 00:30:08,720
no need to watch more than I had to. The

379
00:30:08,759 --> 00:30:13,079
freezer lab was worse. The door stood open a few inches,

380
00:30:13,559 --> 00:30:18,319
cold air spilling out inside. The stainless steel racks were

381
00:30:18,359 --> 00:30:23,079
half empty. Tray overturned vials cracked across the floor in

382
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:27,519
a fine glitter of broken glass and thawed residue. The

383
00:30:27,599 --> 00:30:34,039
walls glistened with condensation. Fingerprints smeared into the frost. I

384
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:37,440
found a catalog of samples similar to the ones I

385
00:30:37,519 --> 00:30:42,079
collected myself. Had they been working on this the whole time?

386
00:30:43,359 --> 00:30:48,920
If so, to what end? I checked the surrounding shells

387
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:52,960
for any signs of tampering. One broken violet spilled down

388
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:56,079
the side of the unit. The trails stopped at the floor,

389
00:30:56,279 --> 00:31:01,640
but didn't pull instead it split streaks, drawn outward by

390
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:07,039
something moving low and slow. That's when I saw the prince,

391
00:31:08,319 --> 00:31:14,640
not boot treads, hoof prints, but not natural ones. Each

392
00:31:14,759 --> 00:31:19,799
was split, yes, but too long, too narrow. The pressure

393
00:31:19,839 --> 00:31:23,720
pattern was wrung, centered toward the toe, as if whatever

394
00:31:23,759 --> 00:31:29,319
made them had been balancing, creeping. They led away from

395
00:31:29,319 --> 00:31:32,680
the freezer, across the lab floor, right to the wall.

396
00:31:32,799 --> 00:31:38,000
Vent I stepped closer, the cover was off, bent to

397
00:31:38,079 --> 00:31:43,359
the corners. Inside the docked was streaked dark. A few

398
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:47,079
long strands of fur clung to the inner rim, not

399
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:54,279
dear fur, something coarser, almost wirelike something had already been

400
00:31:54,319 --> 00:31:59,559
here before me, or someone had led it in. I

401
00:31:59,599 --> 00:32:05,079
stood a moment listening somewhere in the back wing. Something

402
00:32:05,119 --> 00:32:12,240
metal scraped across tile, then nothing. I closed the freezer

403
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:15,599
and sealed the remaining samples in my personal cold case.

404
00:32:16,519 --> 00:32:18,839
My hands were shaking as I locked the lab door

405
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:23,319
behind me, and now I wasn't sure who or what

406
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:30,359
had ever been running this place. By morning, my hands

407
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:35,039
were shaking. It started small, just the fingers, but I

408
00:32:35,039 --> 00:32:38,440
couldn't get a cap off a vial without fumbling. My

409
00:32:38,559 --> 00:32:42,920
vision kept slipping out of focus, not constantly, just in

410
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:47,240
rhythmic flickers in the mirror above the lab sink. I

411
00:32:47,319 --> 00:32:50,759
watched my pupils expand and shrink, back and forth, like

412
00:32:50,839 --> 00:32:54,319
they couldn't decide whether they were supposed to do. My

413
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:58,079
gums had started to wake. I tore a sheet from

414
00:32:58,119 --> 00:33:00,519
the back of an abandoned chart and pinned it to

415
00:33:00,559 --> 00:33:05,480
my jacket. If I loose speech, burn the body, do

416
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:10,599
not touch the skin. Then I made for the biology wing.

417
00:33:12,279 --> 00:33:14,799
Only the emergency lights were working in this part of

418
00:33:14,839 --> 00:33:19,599
the lab, casting dim, jittering gold across the tiles. The

419
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:24,440
carts were overturned, papers had been scattered, trampled, or soaked

420
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:28,200
through from a broken pipe in the ceiling. Breath fogged

421
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:32,920
in the air. It was cold. I pulled the log

422
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,880
book from the wreckage of a desk. Most of the

423
00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:41,440
pages were useless notes about wildlife counts, nutrition breakdowns, half

424
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:46,839
finished hypotheses. I flipped to the back. There, wedged between

425
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:50,000
two damp pages was a loose sheet of paper with

426
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:56,440
sharp handwriting. Secondary hosts showed accelerated symptoms after exposure to

427
00:33:56,519 --> 00:34:02,759
decomposing infected tissue, delayed infection, corald with chemical disruption, ammonia

428
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:09,639
and alcohol treatments. I stopped. My symptoms started after handling

429
00:34:09,679 --> 00:34:13,239
the sample, but I had stumbled and using ammonia while

430
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:18,559
doing rudimentary tests. Whatever concoction I had accidentally breathed in

431
00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:22,840
hadn't cured me, but I delayed what had happened to

432
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:27,039
the seasonal higher I saw skulking with the deer. It

433
00:34:27,119 --> 00:34:33,119
bought me time a buffer. The others they worked under

434
00:34:33,119 --> 00:34:40,719
protocol sterile precise direct exposure. I followed the note and

435
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:44,880
slipped it into my jacket. There wasn't a cure, but

436
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:48,119
at least I now understood why I was still walking,

437
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:54,800
and this inspired my makeshift idea. I found one last

438
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:58,559
working autoclave near the end of the wing. It rumbled

439
00:34:58,559 --> 00:35:01,679
to life when I keyed in the over. I scraped

440
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:05,480
together everything I could, what remained of the preserved tissue,

441
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:10,920
anything I touched, old gloves, even the container, and loaded

442
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:14,840
it all into the chamber. The inside was coated with

443
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:20,960
black residue, not mold, something else. Maybe someone had already

444
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:25,840
tried this. I set the burn, locked the hatch, and

445
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:30,760
stepped away before the heating cycle could even start. My

446
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:36,360
legs were slower now, not numb, just heavy. Every step

447
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:40,880
felt delayed, like the signals were moving through sludge. I

448
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:44,599
touched the glass in the hallway. I couldn't feel it.

449
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:49,840
I couldn't feel the chill against my fingers. I left

450
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:55,000
through the back. The woods were still gray, The clouds

451
00:35:55,079 --> 00:36:00,559
hung low over the canopy, and somewhere behind me pissed

452
00:36:00,559 --> 00:36:05,239
with steam. I didn't know if the sterilization would do anything,

453
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:09,519
didn't know if it was too late. But I had

454
00:36:09,559 --> 00:36:13,840
one more thing to do. I packed everything I needed

455
00:36:14,119 --> 00:36:19,000
and worked on the move, not a cure, just a

456
00:36:19,079 --> 00:36:27,000
final step, and started walking where it all began. I

457
00:36:27,039 --> 00:36:30,840
didn't follow the trail cameroots this time. The clearing where

458
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:34,679
I shut the box with a carcasse vanished where I

459
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:38,920
should have burned it. I carried everything with me, my pack,

460
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:44,639
an improvised cocktail cleaning ammonia and accelerants. I cobbled together

461
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:48,960
materials for a makeshift device, powdered rust scraped from the

462
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:52,760
back of hinges of old equipment, and aluminium shavings pulled

463
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:56,559
from trail signs. It wasn't a perfect There might mix,

464
00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:01,559
but it would ignite enough to burn tissue, enough to

465
00:37:01,639 --> 00:37:06,360
destroy whatever was rewriting it. The walk was longer than

466
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:11,760
I remembered, or maybe I was slower. My joints ate,

467
00:37:12,199 --> 00:37:16,519
my fingers tingled. The fever behind my eyes pulsed in waves,

468
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:20,840
clouding the corners of my vision. But I was still

469
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:26,119
thinking clearly. I could still make decisions. That meant I

470
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:31,599
still had time. I used this time to make improvised devices,

471
00:37:31,639 --> 00:37:36,800
crude but functional. The trees changed before the path did.

472
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,119
At first I thought it was just fog settling through

473
00:37:40,159 --> 00:37:45,679
the branches, but the bark had a sheen, not wet waxed.

474
00:37:46,599 --> 00:37:49,639
A fine spread of pale threads ran between the trunks,

475
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:53,519
and when I brushed past one, it stuck to my jacket.

476
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:59,480
I reached the clearing, it wasn't a nest anymore. It

477
00:37:59,519 --> 00:38:03,519
had blown, and the glade was a full sprawl of

478
00:38:03,599 --> 00:38:09,559
organic spires, sinew and fungal bloom. Long venous threads ran

479
00:38:09,639 --> 00:38:14,119
between trees and into the undergrowth. The dirt looked bruised.

480
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:17,800
There were thick nodules the size of fists half buried

481
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:22,360
in the soil, throbbing fungal stalks that had grown into warped,

482
00:38:22,519 --> 00:38:26,960
ribbed structures, almost like cages. But I couldn't tell if

483
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:30,760
they were meant to keep something in or out. The

484
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:34,440
smell was worse than any rot i'd encountered, a mix

485
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:39,559
of iron fermentation and something vaguely sweet, like ripe fruit

486
00:38:39,639 --> 00:38:45,800
gun sour. The wildlife was gone, no birds, no insects.

487
00:38:46,519 --> 00:38:51,800
But around the perimeter the ground was littered with corpses, rodents,

488
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:57,440
a raccoon, something small and canine, maybe a fox. Some

489
00:38:57,519 --> 00:39:03,400
of them were twitching, breathing, spasming, as if their bodies

490
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:07,440
hadn't caught up with the fact that they were already dead.

491
00:39:08,039 --> 00:39:11,880
One of them, a rabbit, jerked its head upright, jaw

492
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:17,679
twitching open. A sound came out, not a breath, a click,

493
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:23,280
maybe an attempted speech. I didn't stay close enough to listen.

494
00:39:25,199 --> 00:39:30,119
This was what it had been doing, not hunting, cultivating.

495
00:39:31,119 --> 00:39:34,760
It was rewriting the instructions that told muslin bone how

496
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:39,400
to be. In the center of the glade was a

497
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:45,519
mound flesh, hair, antler, segments of deer skull fused with

498
00:39:45,599 --> 00:39:50,679
what looked like vertebrae, human ribs, tangled legs, some still

499
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:55,159
clothed in remnants of field pants. A name patch peeked out,

500
00:39:55,639 --> 00:39:59,519
half fused into the tissue. I didn't go closer to

501
00:39:59,559 --> 00:40:05,079
read it. I already knew. I dropped to my knees,

502
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:09,960
opened my pack, began assembling the ammonia. The heat was

503
00:40:10,039 --> 00:40:15,320
rising in me, now internal pressing. I was sweating hard.

504
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,320
My tongue was thick in my mouth. The ammonia stung

505
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:24,800
my nose, but I needed it. I poured carefully, trying

506
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,880
to keep my hands steady. Just a few minutes, just

507
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:36,400
one successful ignition. I heard the footsteps before I saw them,

508
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:43,320
not hoofs, not claws, feet. I turned slowly. A fir

509
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:47,639
might charge. Half assembled in my lap. Three figures stepped

510
00:40:47,639 --> 00:40:52,800
out from behind the edge of the nest. People, or

511
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:57,719
what it used to be my field team. Harris from

512
00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:02,440
my old labrotation, Jenna, the intern who logged samples, and

513
00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:04,280
one of the rangers I used to check in with

514
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:09,960
on morning rounds. Their skin looked spongy, water logged, and

515
00:41:10,039 --> 00:41:14,559
blotched with gray patches that pulse beneath the surface. Their

516
00:41:14,639 --> 00:41:17,400
veins ran black and branched across their arms and neck.

517
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:21,000
All three of them stared at me through clouded white eyes.

518
00:41:21,639 --> 00:41:25,360
Lips parted in slow, shallow breaths that didn't sound like

519
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:31,159
breathing at all. They weren't charging. They didn't groan or howl.

520
00:41:32,119 --> 00:41:37,880
They just stepped forward, their arms stiff, their heads tilting,

521
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,280
and their mouths slack, like they were still trying to

522
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:46,639
remember how movement worked to them. I just looked like

523
00:41:46,679 --> 00:41:52,599
another infected returning to the hive. I took a shaky breath,

524
00:41:53,039 --> 00:41:58,320
raised a hand without meaning to. I'm sorry, I said.

525
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:05,360
For a second, something flickered behind Harris's eyes, a twitch

526
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:10,119
in the cheek. His jaw shifted. I saw his lips

527
00:42:10,199 --> 00:42:13,199
try to form a word, but all that came out

528
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:17,079
was a wet rasp, her throat too soft to carry sound.

529
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:22,320
There was still sympathy, a glimmer of humanity that was

530
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:30,360
rapidly fading. Then came the deer. They had no such feelings.

531
00:42:31,079 --> 00:42:35,679
They emerged slowly, deliberately and confident from the trees behind

532
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:39,320
the team. The upright one leaned forward with a step,

533
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:44,199
spine trembling with effort, but its limbs moved cleanly. Now

534
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:50,239
behind it crawled another shoulder twisted, dragging its weight along

535
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:54,639
the patch of exposed roots. The last one moved worst

536
00:42:54,639 --> 00:42:58,440
of all. It dragged a fuse limb that wasn't fully deer,

537
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:03,880
part bone, part human muscle, strung together with the wrong tension.

538
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:09,400
They made no noise. Their heads cocked with a mechanical curiosity.

539
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:14,760
All eyes locked on me, and they saw what I

540
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:19,679
was doing. Ahlf puffed out from their nostrils as they

541
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:24,760
ready to charge hoofs bracing to sprint. My hands shook

542
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:28,840
as I reached for the striker. The first scrape gave nothing,

543
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:35,880
The second sparked on a third it caught. I lit

544
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,679
the smallest flask of ammonia and hurled it at the

545
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:43,199
edge of the nest. It hissed on contact. The fungal

546
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:46,519
web sizzled, the black, veiny threads pulling back from the

547
00:43:46,639 --> 00:43:52,199
chemical burn like they were alive. That did it. The

548
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:57,599
reanimated abominations stumbled forward, not toward me, but toward the

549
00:43:57,639 --> 00:44:05,639
patch I'd hit. Twitching, compelled, pain, instinct rage, I couldn't tell,

550
00:44:06,639 --> 00:44:11,960
but it told me something important. They had a choice.

551
00:44:12,159 --> 00:44:15,920
They didn't lunge at me, not yet. They went for

552
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:20,440
the fire. I didn't give them time to rethink it.

553
00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:23,559
I lit the thermite and hurled it toward the center

554
00:44:23,599 --> 00:44:28,320
of the nest. The flash was instant and vicious. A

555
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:31,360
column of heat tore through the fungal bed, charring it

556
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:35,039
in a heartbeat. A few deer were caught in the process.

557
00:44:36,199 --> 00:44:41,000
The smell made my vision swim something between spoiled meat

558
00:44:41,039 --> 00:44:46,320
and plastic insulation. Instinct kicked in, and my old crew

559
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:50,840
sprang into action, rushing to save their colony. The mound

560
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:54,320
in the center shrieked, not with sound, but with pressure.

561
00:44:55,119 --> 00:44:59,360
A thick static umb filled the air. My eyes pulsed,

562
00:44:59,519 --> 00:45:05,039
my ears rang. Harris screamed, not a human sound, just

563
00:45:05,079 --> 00:45:10,760
a rupture of voice. He collapsed midstep. Jenna followed, limbs

564
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,159
still jerking on the ground like fish on a dark

565
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,880
The upright deear tried to flee, but collapsed as soon

566
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:21,920
as their connection severed. I lit the final charge, the

567
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:25,320
biggest one, and rolled it into the heart of the nest.

568
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:30,920
It ignited on contact. The second explosion was worse than

569
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:35,480
the first. Trees caught, flames raised up the stalks. The

570
00:45:35,559 --> 00:45:39,320
sinew network snapped and curled in on itself. A line

571
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:42,039
of fungus tried to retreat down the roots, but the

572
00:45:42,079 --> 00:45:47,559
fire chased it. But most importantly, all the bodies caught flame,

573
00:45:48,119 --> 00:45:54,159
destroying any remnants of this horror. I stumbled back, coughing

574
00:45:54,199 --> 00:45:59,960
into my sleeve. My vision smeared. One eye darkened, hi white,

575
00:46:00,119 --> 00:46:05,840
did it, but my hand came back red blood. The

576
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:10,880
glade thrashed like a body in seizure. Then it went still.

577
00:46:12,639 --> 00:46:15,800
I stood there until the flames reached the ridge, until

578
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:19,440
the entire bloom turned black and brittle, until the heat

579
00:46:19,639 --> 00:46:27,519
burned the smell away. Only then did I turn and walk, burned, sick,

580
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:32,960
bleeding from both eyes, but lighter than I'd felt in weeks,

581
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:38,239
because I'd done something real, because I'd ended it, or

582
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:43,199
at least made sure it wouldn't spread any farther. And

583
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:48,119
if I was wrong, if something crawled out later, I

584
00:46:48,159 --> 00:46:55,280
wouldn't be here to see it. I sat slumped in

585
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:59,960
the truck, throat raw, eyes blurred, my fingers barely were.

586
00:47:01,199 --> 00:47:03,880
They kept slipping on the recorder's button before I finally

587
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:10,039
managed to press it down. Sample sterilized, the sauce, nest burned.

588
00:47:10,559 --> 00:47:16,119
Secondary host transmission confirmed my voice didn't sound like mine

589
00:47:16,119 --> 00:47:19,960
any more. I waited for a long moment, letting the

590
00:47:20,039 --> 00:47:26,440
silence settle, before speaking again. My name is Elias ward Field.

591
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:30,800
I D seven two six o one dashbe contracted wild

592
00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:36,360
life biologist, stayed assigned. I acted alone. I have destroyed

593
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:40,599
all known infated samples. The growth site has been neutralized.

594
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:48,239
There are no survivors. I paused, listened, nothing but the

595
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:51,719
low wind through the ridge. No movement in the trees,

596
00:47:52,039 --> 00:47:56,639
no footsteps in the brush. If anyone finds this log,

597
00:47:57,280 --> 00:48:01,159
do not come looking for survivors. There is nothing left

598
00:48:01,199 --> 00:48:06,719
worth recovering. I clicked the recorder off and let it

599
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:10,760
drop into my lap. My head rested against the window.

600
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:16,079
The cold glass felt steady, almost grounding. The woods outside

601
00:48:16,119 --> 00:48:20,800
were still choped in ash and fog. I took the

602
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:23,760
cassette and sealed it in a weather proof specimen case,

603
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:27,800
marked it clearly, left it outside near the truck, but

604
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:31,480
not too close. If any one did find this place,

605
00:48:32,199 --> 00:48:37,119
they'd find the truth first. Then I sat back inside

606
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:42,320
and looked at the keys of my palm. I lied

607
00:48:43,039 --> 00:48:49,440
I hadn't destroyed all traces. There was still one left me,

608
00:48:51,519 --> 00:48:56,159
but that we'd be dealt with shortly. The fermite was rigged,

609
00:48:56,639 --> 00:49:01,199
crude but functional, set beneath the seat, tied to the ignition.

610
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:05,719
I checked the fuse three times earlier before my vision went.

611
00:49:07,159 --> 00:49:13,039
When the key turned, the reaction would start heat metal flame,

612
00:49:14,119 --> 00:49:20,280
nothing left to spread. I took a final breath, no

613
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:31,920
last words, no dramatic farewell. I just turned the key.

614
00:49:37,039 --> 00:49:40,360
I'd been after that damn thrush for a week. I

615
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:43,519
saw it once, skimming alone near the canal. It was

616
00:49:43,559 --> 00:49:45,599
a nervous thing, with a chest like it had been

617
00:49:45,639 --> 00:49:50,559
sprinkled with pepper. It was nothing flashy, but that glimpse

618
00:49:50,679 --> 00:49:54,000
left me wanting more. I think it was the fact

619
00:49:54,039 --> 00:49:57,639
it wasn't meant to be here. It was definitely, of course,

620
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:01,159
it probably caught the wrong gossip and where south and

621
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:04,599
ended up where it shouldn't have. I hadn't seen one

622
00:50:04,639 --> 00:50:07,440
in this area before, not in all the years I've

623
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:12,079
been coming out here bird watching, so I kept coming

624
00:50:12,159 --> 00:50:15,960
back every morning. I put boots on before the town

625
00:50:16,039 --> 00:50:19,159
woke up, shoved my scope in my bag as well

626
00:50:19,159 --> 00:50:22,199
as some snacks and a thermas of tea, and followed

627
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:26,800
the same muddy tracks through the trees. There's a battered

628
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:30,320
old notice board nailed up near the canal shelter, faded

629
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:33,800
from years of sun and frost. I never meant to

630
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:37,440
make a happit of checking it, but lately I couldn't

631
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:41,320
help myself. It used to be the usual mess of

632
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:44,960
dog walker ads, but now it was littered with missing

633
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:49,000
persons posters. I often glanced at it on the way in,

634
00:50:50,079 --> 00:50:53,880
But on Monday I spotted Gareth with his uniform jacket

635
00:50:54,119 --> 00:50:58,000
half buttoned up and radio clipped to his shoulder, leaning

636
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:02,320
over it with a staple gun. All right, yourd sword,

637
00:51:03,199 --> 00:51:08,639
Gareth said, glancing sideways without turning fully around. Morning to

638
00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:15,000
you too, I said, grinning. He snorted back again, you

639
00:51:15,119 --> 00:51:17,880
trying to court that bird or marry it? If it

640
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:21,800
starts letting back, I won'll let you know. I stepped

641
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:27,239
up beside him. Who've we got to day? He tapped

642
00:51:27,239 --> 00:51:29,960
the edge of the top sheet. It was a woman

643
00:51:30,119 --> 00:51:33,039
in the mid twenties. The print out looked like it

644
00:51:33,079 --> 00:51:36,320
had been taken off Facebook. Below her was a boy

645
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:40,079
about eight or nine. From the lock of him. Both

646
00:51:40,159 --> 00:51:45,159
this week, Gareth said, it's been building real slow. One here,

647
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:48,960
one there. Woman and little heads always looked similar, but

648
00:51:49,039 --> 00:51:52,400
they never related. Were meant to keep it on the hushburn.

649
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:56,519
Come on, it feels like someone's picking them out on purpose,

650
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:01,000
he rubbed to the back of his neck. Problem is

651
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:06,480
the sodd ale to go off on? I didn't know

652
00:52:06,519 --> 00:52:10,079
what to say to that. Instead I gave a quiet

653
00:52:10,159 --> 00:52:12,559
hum and watched him press the paper flat with a

654
00:52:12,639 --> 00:52:17,840
side of his hand. I see you've got a busy morning.

655
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:21,920
A few more these the stick up around town, then

656
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:24,039
back to the station to pretend I know what I'm

657
00:52:24,079 --> 00:52:27,199
doing for hours. Maybe sneak a cuppa if the phone

658
00:52:27,199 --> 00:52:33,239
stops ringing long enough, living the dream, I said, Gareth

659
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:36,760
hoffed and laughed through his nose and stepped back. He

660
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,960
squinted at the board, making sure it all lined up,

661
00:52:40,639 --> 00:52:44,960
then gave me a serious look. If you see anything

662
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:49,440
strange out there, you let me know, just me, but

663
00:52:49,679 --> 00:52:52,880
you already knew I was a bit off. He gave

664
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:56,119
a dry laugh, then moved on and watched them go,

665
00:52:56,800 --> 00:53:01,159
then turn back to the trees. The woods out here

666
00:53:01,199 --> 00:53:04,880
go on longer than most people reckon. From the main trail.

667
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:07,920
It all looks neat and groomed wear, the couple of

668
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:11,599
picnic benches and the odd wooden sign pointing out butterflies

669
00:53:11,679 --> 00:53:15,000
or fungus. But you only have to take a few

670
00:53:15,039 --> 00:53:18,480
steps off the path and it all folds in on itself.

671
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,480
It all becomes a slow, thick mess of hawthorn, older

672
00:53:22,559 --> 00:53:26,440
and nettles. You can't avoid. Where I'd seen the thrust

673
00:53:26,519 --> 00:53:29,199
last was off to the left, well past the cut

674
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:32,119
of the canal and into the sort of tangle that'd

675
00:53:32,199 --> 00:53:36,599
make most people turn around. But I'd grown up out

676
00:53:36,639 --> 00:53:40,320
here when I was little. These woods were my patch,

677
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:44,639
way before mobile phones and the estate got bigger. I

678
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:48,239
used to spend hours getting lost on purpose. Me and

679
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:50,320
a couple of mates built a half rotten den out

680
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:54,360
there once, proper deep where the brambles got thick. We

681
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:56,639
nicked a couple of planks from a skip and a

682
00:53:56,639 --> 00:54:00,000
bit of tarp we weren't meant to have back there.

683
00:54:00,679 --> 00:54:04,679
It felt like a bloody fortress. I don't go in

684
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:08,119
as far these days, but that thrush wasn't going to

685
00:54:08,199 --> 00:54:11,000
hang about on the edge trail, not after a week

686
00:54:11,039 --> 00:54:16,280
of me stomping through. If I wanted another lock, I'd

687
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:23,679
have to push deeper. It was just past noon when

688
00:54:23,679 --> 00:54:26,719
I took myself lower between a couple of twisted hazels

689
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:29,440
and a rotted out log that must have been down

690
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:32,920
for years. Bracken came up to my knees in spot

691
00:54:33,599 --> 00:54:36,280
and nasty invasive plant that looked like it was slowly

692
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:42,360
infecting the entire woodland. Then I heard a clink like

693
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:47,239
metal on metal. It wasn't loud, but it cut clean

694
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:50,119
through the trees, and I started to ponder what it

695
00:54:50,159 --> 00:54:54,480
could be. Maybe someone flipped out here though here'd it

696
00:54:54,519 --> 00:54:57,519
take some effort, though I wouldn't put it past a

697
00:54:57,519 --> 00:54:59,760
few of the scruffs that lived near my end of town.

698
00:55:00,920 --> 00:55:03,559
Either way, you don't usually hear that sort of thing

699
00:55:03,679 --> 00:55:12,000
that deep in. I stayed crouched and listened. It kept coming, clink, clink,

700
00:55:13,679 --> 00:55:18,360
sometimes on its own, sometimes in twos or three. Each

701
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:21,559
one seemed to come from a different spot, first to

702
00:55:21,599 --> 00:55:26,639
my right, then behind me, then dead ahead. It gave

703
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:29,280
me a jolt, scared me enough to stiffen me up

704
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:34,960
a bit. I stayed where I was, listening hard. Then

705
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:44,559
it came again, clink. I slowly lifted myself just enough

706
00:55:44,599 --> 00:55:47,440
to see over the log. It took me a second

707
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:51,320
to find it, but there, perched on a low stump,

708
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:56,639
was a missile thrush. I watched as it tilted its

709
00:55:56,679 --> 00:55:59,960
head and open its beak to make that same metal clink,

710
00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:06,039
perfect and crisp. It threw me a bit. Sure missile

711
00:56:06,039 --> 00:56:09,239
thrushes will copy the odd sound, but they're not known

712
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:12,360
for it like some others. And even if they were

713
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:17,039
why that noise out here in the thick of the woods.

714
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:21,880
There's nothing metal for miles. We must have learned it nearby,

715
00:56:22,719 --> 00:56:26,440
heard it enough to copy it back. Like that, It

716
00:56:26,519 --> 00:56:30,440
shifted once more, then took off his wings caught the

717
00:56:30,519 --> 00:56:33,360
lights as it darted between branches, and dipped through a

718
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:39,039
narrow line of alder. I followed carefully. The ground here

719
00:56:39,119 --> 00:56:42,599
was knotted with roots and soft underfoot, spongy in some

720
00:56:42,679 --> 00:56:47,039
places where the moss was thickest. I kept low, stepping

721
00:56:47,079 --> 00:56:51,920
where the ferns bent, smoothly, moving around the trees, Brambles

722
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:55,519
caught to my jacket. Occasionally I'd lose sight of the thing,

723
00:56:55,840 --> 00:57:04,719
but hear it again, clink, clink, always just ahead. I

724
00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:08,639
couldn't help but admire it, even with everything else going on.

725
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:13,119
It moved with that sharp, nervous grace missile thrushes have.

726
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:16,920
The patterning across its chest looked darker in the shade,

727
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:20,679
almost oily, and its eyes flickered back at me now

728
00:57:20,719 --> 00:57:24,599
and then, like it knew I was behind it. I'd

729
00:57:24,599 --> 00:57:28,000
watched the birds my whole life, but something about this

730
00:57:28,039 --> 00:57:33,599
one held me. If he had left again then dropped

731
00:57:33,639 --> 00:57:37,440
out of sight, I pressed forward pushing through a wall

732
00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:41,679
of damp brush, and there it was, sat atop a

733
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:49,119
rusted metal roof, wings tucked in, head turning slowly. The

734
00:57:49,159 --> 00:57:52,679
building looked more like an old shed. It was narrow,

735
00:57:53,039 --> 00:57:57,079
sunken slightly into the slope, edges softened with age and dirt.

736
00:57:58,079 --> 00:58:00,800
Tarps had been thrown over the top and weighed down

737
00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:04,639
with camou netting, but they started to rot and curl back.

738
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:08,920
The thing looked forgotten, as if it hadn't seen proper

739
00:58:09,039 --> 00:58:13,000
use in years. The door at the front was heavy duty,

740
00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:17,960
bolted shut. A padlock hung from the frame. Rust crossed

741
00:58:18,079 --> 00:58:25,920
deep into the mechanism. Then I heard it again, clink,

742
00:58:28,079 --> 00:58:31,840
but the bird didn't move. It stayed still on the roof,

743
00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:37,920
feathers flat, eyes fixed somewhere behind me. The sound hadn't

744
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:44,119
come from it this time. Clink, clink, clink, this time

745
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:49,360
more sporadic. I hedged closer, careful not to snap any

746
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:54,039
branches under foot. A smell, something like bleach hung in

747
00:58:54,079 --> 00:59:00,599
the air. The noise persisted. I circled around to the side.

748
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:03,039
When one of the lower panels had walked out of

749
00:59:03,039 --> 00:59:07,960
the frame, a gap maybe a foot wide. I dropped

750
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:14,079
to my knees, rushed the bracken aside and pushed myself through. Inside.

751
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:18,639
It was hotter than I expected. It felt wrong straight away.

752
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:21,480
The air hit the back of my throat in a

753
00:59:21,519 --> 00:59:24,199
way that made me want to spit, And there wasn't

754
00:59:24,239 --> 00:59:28,920
much light, so I pulled out my emergency torch. The

755
00:59:29,039 --> 00:59:32,960
floor was concrete and sloped slightly. At the far end

756
00:59:33,039 --> 00:59:37,360
was six cages, welded straight into the ground proper thick steel.

757
00:59:38,679 --> 00:59:42,320
Each one had been lived in, no question about it.

758
00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:46,840
Blankets pressed flat from use, bits of paper, and string,

759
00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:52,360
trays with hairs in them, kid's clothes. One had a

760
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:56,559
muslin cloth baby sized. Another had what looked like make up,

761
00:59:57,199 --> 00:59:59,480
just the stub of a lipstick and a broken comb.

762
01:00:00,480 --> 01:00:05,719
None of it matched, None of it made sense. The

763
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:09,800
last cage had a little boy in it. He couldn't

764
01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:13,000
have been more than seven. He was curled up in

765
01:00:13,039 --> 01:00:16,559
the far corner under a blanket, blinking slow, like he'd

766
01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:21,280
just woken up. His face was gone but clean. He

767
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:24,079
looked looked after in the way a pet might be.

768
01:00:25,199 --> 01:00:28,920
No marks I could see. Then I notices the strip

769
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:31,360
of faded cloth pulled tight around the back of his

770
01:00:31,440 --> 01:00:36,559
head and knotted hard enough to leave a mark a gag.

771
01:00:38,719 --> 01:00:41,039
Once he got a good look at me, he started

772
01:00:41,079 --> 01:00:44,639
moving quick and panicked, trying to talk through the gag,

773
01:00:45,039 --> 01:00:48,840
pointing to the lock, then to the floor. The cage

774
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:54,480
was bolted shut. I rattled it gently, but he didn't budge.

775
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:58,559
I'm gonna get you out, all right, I said, trying

776
01:00:58,599 --> 01:01:04,280
to keep my voice steady. Just hang on. I got

777
01:01:04,360 --> 01:01:07,639
up and started checking the room. There was a grimy

778
01:01:07,719 --> 01:01:11,000
and dented surgical table in the corner with one leg

779
01:01:11,079 --> 01:01:15,480
braced on bricks. On it was a scalpel, a boning knife,

780
01:01:15,639 --> 01:01:19,599
thin and stained tweezers, blackenedder the tips, and a jar

781
01:01:19,719 --> 01:01:22,159
of cloudy liquid that looked like it was meant to

782
01:01:22,199 --> 01:01:25,079
clean them, though it hadn't been touched in a while.

783
01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:28,679
Most of the metal had what appeared to be dried

784
01:01:28,719 --> 01:01:32,480
blood crusted in the grooves. Seeing the tools turn my

785
01:01:32,519 --> 01:01:35,719
stomach a bit. I kept looking at them, trying to

786
01:01:35,719 --> 01:01:38,599
convince myself they were just old junk and that the

787
01:01:38,639 --> 01:01:43,079
blood was rust. But I couldn't not. With a boy

788
01:01:43,159 --> 01:01:46,920
behind me, I stepped over a length of pipe and

789
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:50,199
crossed to the far wall. The freezer chess was low

790
01:01:50,239 --> 01:01:53,280
to the ground and held shut with a thick rubber strap.

791
01:01:54,119 --> 01:01:57,000
A mess of jumper cables fed out the back, still

792
01:01:57,039 --> 01:02:00,719
hugged into the terminals of a car battery. It buzzed

793
01:02:00,719 --> 01:02:05,440
faintly when I touched the lid inside, but plastic tubs

794
01:02:05,440 --> 01:02:10,079
stacked tight about half a freezer full, and each was labeled.

795
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:16,719
The top one read Shannon scalp, Benjamin lower, left arm,

796
01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:24,519
Shannon teeth. Even through the frost, I could tell they

797
01:02:24,559 --> 01:02:28,960
were real. I slammed the freezer shot and held the

798
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:31,639
lid down for a few moments. Then I pulled out

799
01:02:31,639 --> 01:02:35,159
my phone and started snapping. Flash lit up the space

800
01:02:35,199 --> 01:02:38,280
as I took pictures of the freezer, tools and cages.

801
01:02:39,039 --> 01:02:42,079
I felt clumsy doing it, my hands slick with sweat,

802
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:45,679
but it had to be done. I'd make sure to

803
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:49,679
delete them later. I opened maps, dropped a pin where

804
01:02:49,679 --> 01:02:52,719
I stood, and fired it straight off to the Gareth

805
01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:57,960
found something in the woods bad sent my location. Get

806
01:02:57,960 --> 01:03:03,119
here quick and don't come alone. I turned looking for

807
01:03:03,239 --> 01:03:07,199
the key and spotted two Mannikins tucked into the shadows

808
01:03:07,199 --> 01:03:12,840
near the back wall, one adult sized, one child. Pinned

809
01:03:12,840 --> 01:03:16,119
above them on the wall were diagrams polaroids of the

810
01:03:16,159 --> 01:03:21,159
same woman and little boy scrap paper with rough sketches, measurements,

811
01:03:21,599 --> 01:03:27,639
and a shopping list of different body parts. Then I

812
01:03:27,719 --> 01:03:31,679
heard a lock shift. At first I thought the boy

813
01:03:31,679 --> 01:03:34,960
had been able to free himself, but as I turned,

814
01:03:35,519 --> 01:03:40,000
the sudden flush of light flash banged me. The shape

815
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:43,199
in the doorway stood stiff, its head tilted to its

816
01:03:43,239 --> 01:03:47,239
left shoulder, like they were melted into each other. I

817
01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:50,679
squinted to see more, but the light from outside made

818
01:03:50,679 --> 01:03:54,840
it difficult. All I could see was the bull cover him.

819
01:03:55,639 --> 01:03:58,840
Roared through the chest, with one arm hanging longer than

820
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:03,880
the other. He stepped in and I raised my torch slightly.

821
01:04:05,400 --> 01:04:08,960
You don't want to do this, I said. My voice

822
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:13,960
came out quiet and pathetic. He kept moving. The shape

823
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:19,280
of him came into view. He was burned with twisted

824
01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:24,880
but healed skin. He was big. He lunged with both

825
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:29,079
weight and power. I stumbled back, caught off guard, and

826
01:04:29,159 --> 01:04:32,079
slammed sideways into the metal frame of one of the cages.

827
01:04:33,159 --> 01:04:37,199
The torch clattered to the floor, spinning light strobing around

828
01:04:37,199 --> 01:04:41,920
the room. He came at me again, arms wide, trying

829
01:04:41,960 --> 01:04:45,800
to grab hold. I dug sideways and shoved my shoulder

830
01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:49,239
into his ribs. He grunted and swung one arm to

831
01:04:49,280 --> 01:04:53,679
the side of my head. I shoved back, using both hands,

832
01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:57,519
pushing him off balanced toward the table. He knocked it,

833
01:04:57,800 --> 01:05:03,840
sent tall scattering, but stayed upright. He came at me again,

834
01:05:04,360 --> 01:05:08,280
clumsy but fast, leading with his shoulder. I grabbed a

835
01:05:08,320 --> 01:05:10,800
bit of pipe or rod and brought it up between

836
01:05:10,840 --> 01:05:14,360
us and slowed him and gave me just enough room

837
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:19,000
to back pedal and breathe. Everything in me wanted to run,

838
01:05:19,880 --> 01:05:23,599
but I knew I couldn't leave the boy alone. He

839
01:05:23,679 --> 01:05:27,880
charged again, faster, this time slamming me back into the cages.

840
01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:31,400
My shoulder cracked the bars and sends a jol down

841
01:05:31,400 --> 01:05:34,599
my arm. I swung the pipe and clipped the side

842
01:05:34,599 --> 01:05:38,719
of his head. He roared, voice all torn up and broken.

843
01:05:39,880 --> 01:05:43,719
Get away from them. The mine, my Shannon, my Benji.

844
01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:48,079
He grabbed a handful of my jacket and yanked me forward.

845
01:05:49,239 --> 01:05:52,840
I twisted, kicked hard, and landed somewhere near his shin.

846
01:05:54,159 --> 01:05:57,079
He didn't go down, but he gave me just enough

847
01:05:57,079 --> 01:06:01,000
space to wrench free. My ear was still ringing from

848
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:04,079
the earlier blow and sick the rock behind my eye

849
01:06:04,159 --> 01:06:10,280
now as something had split. He kept coming every breath.

850
01:06:10,280 --> 01:06:14,239
He tuck sounded like it hurt, wet and uneven, full

851
01:06:14,239 --> 01:06:18,440
of rattling heat. The burns had wrecked his face, but

852
01:06:18,559 --> 01:06:21,559
there was still strength in him, more than I had.

853
01:06:22,760 --> 01:06:28,440
He was desperate, and desperate men don't stop easy. I

854
01:06:28,519 --> 01:06:32,119
tripped trying to dodge his next swing, landed hard on

855
01:06:32,199 --> 01:06:36,199
my back, ribs flaring. My grips slipped on the pipe,

856
01:06:36,360 --> 01:06:40,800
and it skidded out of reach. He loomed above mouth,

857
01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:43,880
working like he was trying to say more, but all

858
01:06:43,880 --> 01:06:47,960
that came out was a dry, bubbling rasp. His boot

859
01:06:48,000 --> 01:06:51,840
pressed into my leg, pinning me. I tried to twist

860
01:06:52,079 --> 01:06:56,360
to roll clear, but his weight kept me pinned. My

861
01:06:56,440 --> 01:06:59,639
ear was still ringing, and now my ribs were burning.

862
01:07:00,679 --> 01:07:03,519
I couldn't catch my breath. The pressure on my leg

863
01:07:03,559 --> 01:07:10,000
grew sharper harder. He was trying to crush me. The

864
01:07:10,079 --> 01:07:14,320
door slammed open behind him. Down, Get the hell down.

865
01:07:15,960 --> 01:07:19,639
The man didn't flinch. He kept going. There was a

866
01:07:19,679 --> 01:07:23,480
crack of Gareth's bat and slamming down. The figure reeled

867
01:07:23,519 --> 01:07:26,719
back a step. I kicked out hard and caught him

868
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:31,519
just above the knee. He staggered sideways. I said, get

869
01:07:31,559 --> 01:07:36,880
on the ground. Gareth didn't stop, got behind him fast

870
01:07:36,880 --> 01:07:40,840
and brought the baton down again, this time across the shoulders.

871
01:07:41,559 --> 01:07:45,239
The man dropped. There was a grunt, and then Gareth

872
01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:48,840
was on him, pinning him, coughing his wrists tight behind

873
01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:54,079
his back. The figure flinched but didn't drop got him.

874
01:07:54,440 --> 01:08:00,360
Gareth barked, you're right. I nodded, caught my breath and

875
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:05,280
sweat stung my eyes. I dragged myself upright, ribs aching

876
01:08:05,920 --> 01:08:10,079
and used the cages to hold myself up. We need

877
01:08:10,079 --> 01:08:19,399
bolt cutters, I said, voice. Horse now back up arrived quickly.

878
01:08:20,279 --> 01:08:23,560
They helped pin improperly and hauled him out, kicking and

879
01:08:23,640 --> 01:08:27,079
spluttering like an animal, while another stayed behind to free

880
01:08:27,079 --> 01:08:30,600
the boy. Gareth helped me walk back through the trees,

881
01:08:31,159 --> 01:08:35,279
mostly acting as a support over the rough terrain. Paramedics

882
01:08:35,319 --> 01:08:38,880
were waiting near the path. They took me in, sat

883
01:08:38,920 --> 01:08:42,239
me down, gave me something for the pain, then carted

884
01:08:42,319 --> 01:08:44,880
me after A and E to check for concussion and

885
01:08:44,960 --> 01:08:49,560
whatever else i'd rattled loose. I gave two full statements

886
01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:53,600
that day, then another two later in the week. I

887
01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:55,560
had to repeat some of it more times than I

888
01:08:55,600 --> 01:09:00,159
felt like. A few days later, Gareth swung by my

889
01:09:00,239 --> 01:09:04,000
place with a flask and some important cigars. We sat

890
01:09:04,079 --> 01:09:06,560
in the garden out back, just like we used to

891
01:09:06,680 --> 01:09:15,079
when we were younger. Eventually he said, ugly Bogger, wasn't he? Yeah,

892
01:09:15,319 --> 01:09:21,760
I muttered. Gareth nodded, staring into his flask. Didn't even

893
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:24,560
know he was still around. Thought he'd left years back.

894
01:09:25,439 --> 01:09:27,159
He used to live on the fringe near the old

895
01:09:27,199 --> 01:09:30,439
paper mill. His wife and kid died in a house fire.

896
01:09:31,199 --> 01:09:36,399
Poor Bogis didn't make it out. He did he always

897
01:09:36,399 --> 01:09:42,399
that big, I asked. Gareth huffed, Yeah, he's a big lad.

898
01:09:42,880 --> 01:09:45,680
Worked in salvage I think. Used to see him down

899
01:09:45,720 --> 01:09:48,760
by the skip bins holding stuff no one else would touch.

900
01:09:49,960 --> 01:09:54,880
After the fire, something just snapped. We thought he moved off.

901
01:09:57,520 --> 01:10:01,239
I took a sip of my drink in that shed

902
01:10:01,520 --> 01:10:07,239
those women and boys. He was storing certain parts, yeah,

903
01:10:07,520 --> 01:10:11,920
Gareth muttered. He wasn't just storing them, he was trying

904
01:10:11,920 --> 01:10:17,359
to put them back together, bit by bit. We both

905
01:10:17,399 --> 01:10:24,119
went quiet after a while. Gareth cleared his throat, h'its sick,

906
01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:27,680
But in his head he thought he was fixing something,

907
01:10:28,159 --> 01:10:33,720
putting his family right now, fixing that, I said, not

908
01:10:33,840 --> 01:10:39,960
what he did. Gareth gave a slow nod. Nah, there's

909
01:10:40,039 --> 01:10:43,640
no coming back from that. Did you find that bird

910
01:10:43,680 --> 01:10:55,560
you were looking for? I came back because someone had to.

911
01:10:56,800 --> 01:10:59,439
The house was still in the family's name, but no

912
01:10:59,479 --> 01:11:03,079
one else wanted to touch it. My mother had passed

913
01:11:03,079 --> 01:11:07,880
away a few weeks prior, quietly in asleep. My father

914
01:11:08,039 --> 01:11:13,199
was still alive technically, but no longer capable. The stroke

915
01:11:13,279 --> 01:11:16,239
had taken most of his speech and all of his warmth.

916
01:11:17,560 --> 01:11:20,279
He now lived in a small care home three hours south.

917
01:11:21,880 --> 01:11:26,439
We hadn't spoken in years. I told the solicitor I

918
01:11:26,479 --> 01:11:29,720
would handle the clearing out. Thought it would take a weekend,

919
01:11:30,399 --> 01:11:35,680
thought it would feel mechanical. But standing in the entry

920
01:11:35,720 --> 01:11:41,079
way now I could already tell the house hadn't changed,

921
01:11:42,239 --> 01:11:47,439
not really. It was clean, even dusted in places. Someone

922
01:11:47,520 --> 01:11:52,119
had been tending it, probably my mother until the very end.

923
01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:56,359
I hadn't stayed over night in years, but instead of

924
01:11:56,399 --> 01:12:00,399
sleeping in the guest room, I chose my old bedroom.

925
01:12:01,319 --> 01:12:07,600
The nursery, the one we shared. Jamie's crib was still there,

926
01:12:08,039 --> 01:12:12,600
up against the far wall. The other one sat beside it, untouched,

927
01:12:13,439 --> 01:12:17,520
the blankets tucked in tight, A small stuffed lamb perfectly

928
01:12:17,560 --> 01:12:21,439
aligned at the center of the mattress. The mobile above

929
01:12:21,439 --> 01:12:24,439
the crib still spun when I opened the door, catching

930
01:12:24,479 --> 01:12:29,399
the air just enough to turn. I stood there, watching

931
01:12:29,399 --> 01:12:34,439
it rotate in a slow, silent circle. I found a

932
01:12:34,479 --> 01:12:38,039
sealed box in the closet, buried behind old blankets and

933
01:12:38,079 --> 01:12:42,359
a yellowed wedding dress. The tape was brittle with age.

934
01:12:42,880 --> 01:12:47,880
One side had peeled slightly written in black marker across

935
01:12:47,880 --> 01:12:55,479
the lid with five words Jamie dash, do not discard.

936
01:12:58,119 --> 01:13:00,680
I don't remember the moment I found out I was

937
01:13:00,680 --> 01:13:04,239
supposed to be a twin. I think it was always there,

938
01:13:04,720 --> 01:13:08,960
just beneath the surface, a truth worn smooth over years

939
01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:14,880
of soft retellings. His name was Jamie. He died the

940
01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:19,000
day we were born. That's what the doctor said. A

941
01:13:19,119 --> 01:13:23,199
chord around the neck, no heartbeat, nothing they could do,

942
01:13:25,520 --> 01:13:30,239
but my parents never accepted it. They came home with

943
01:13:30,439 --> 01:13:34,680
two of everything, two bassinettes, two name plaques for the

944
01:13:34,760 --> 01:13:39,159
nursery wall, hand painted in soft cursive, one for me,

945
01:13:39,880 --> 01:13:44,159
one for Jamie. They told everyone it had been a mistake,

946
01:13:44,680 --> 01:13:48,920
that both babies were fine, a miracle, and no one

947
01:13:49,039 --> 01:13:54,720
questioned it too deeply, not at first There are pictures

948
01:13:54,760 --> 01:13:58,520
in the old photo albums that still unsettle me, and

949
01:13:58,680 --> 01:14:03,039
some it's just me red faced and swallowed. In others

950
01:14:03,680 --> 01:14:08,399
there's clearly been some editing, a second infant, clumsily duplicated,

951
01:14:08,479 --> 01:14:12,920
or drawn in smudged at the edges. My father wasn't

952
01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:16,600
much for computers. Most of the early ones were done

953
01:14:16,600 --> 01:14:21,439
by hand, collage work, tape, and scissors. One even had

954
01:14:21,439 --> 01:14:23,600
a second blanket with nothing in it next to me,

955
01:14:24,520 --> 01:14:31,720
a shape outlined but empty. Jamie's crib was always kept pristine,

956
01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:35,199
even after I moved into a proper bed. It was dusted,

957
01:14:35,520 --> 01:14:39,439
re tucked. The mobile was wound every night until his

958
01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:43,600
mechanism grew stiff. The stuffed lamb was moved from head

959
01:14:43,640 --> 01:14:46,600
to foot, depending on the weak, as if some one

960
01:14:46,680 --> 01:14:50,600
had been tending him. My parents said things in passing,

961
01:14:51,359 --> 01:14:56,159
casual and habitual. Tom, say good night to your brother.

962
01:14:57,239 --> 01:15:01,399
Don't wake him. He's finely asleep. Your brother's already eaten.

963
01:15:04,199 --> 01:15:07,520
When I was young, i'd play along, I'd glance at

964
01:15:07,520 --> 01:15:12,359
the empty crib and whisper just in case, But I

965
01:15:12,439 --> 01:15:16,000
always knew something was wrong with it, something about the

966
01:15:16,039 --> 01:15:18,680
way the air settled over that side of the room,

967
01:15:19,960 --> 01:15:24,039
and when I stopped responding to their remarks and stopped pretending,

968
01:15:25,039 --> 01:15:28,520
I remember the look on my mother's face. She didn't

969
01:15:28,560 --> 01:15:33,359
look confused. She looked hurt, disappointed, as if I had

970
01:15:33,359 --> 01:15:38,840
insulted someone who was standing right behind me. I was

971
01:15:38,960 --> 01:15:43,119
raised to share everything, my room, my clothes, my name.

972
01:15:44,079 --> 01:15:49,520
Even though Jamie never spoke, never moved, never grew. We'd

973
01:15:49,600 --> 01:15:53,680
matching shoes by the front door. Mine usually scoffed his,

974
01:15:54,079 --> 01:15:57,760
always clean. We had two toothbrushes in the cup by

975
01:15:57,800 --> 01:16:01,199
the sink. I wasn't a lie to touch the blue one.

976
01:16:01,920 --> 01:16:05,520
I was punished after I tried. I didn't try again.

977
01:16:07,119 --> 01:16:10,319
There were rules. I wasn't to cross the center seam

978
01:16:10,399 --> 01:16:13,560
of the rug in our bedroom. Jamie's side was to

979
01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:18,399
remain undisturbed. I wasn't to move his toys. If one

980
01:16:18,439 --> 01:16:20,920
of them ended up in my bed or under my desk,

981
01:16:21,520 --> 01:16:24,560
it had to be placed back exactly where it had been.

982
01:16:25,840 --> 01:16:32,079
And when things went wrong, the blame was mine. Tom,

983
01:16:32,239 --> 01:16:35,439
don't be cruel to your brother, my mother would say,

984
01:16:35,520 --> 01:16:39,000
if the stuffed bear turned up face down, he doesn't

985
01:16:39,079 --> 01:16:44,159
like it when he moves things. At first I thought

986
01:16:44,199 --> 01:16:47,039
she was joking. I thought It was a way to

987
01:16:47,079 --> 01:16:52,560
soften the loss, a story that stopped when things started

988
01:16:52,600 --> 01:16:56,119
happening on their own. I go to bed with the

989
01:16:56,119 --> 01:17:00,359
closet shut, squeeze my eyes closed, listen to the creak

990
01:17:00,399 --> 01:17:05,359
of the house, settle into its bones. But around three am,

991
01:17:05,560 --> 01:17:11,159
almost every night, the closet door would slide open, slow,

992
01:17:11,800 --> 01:17:15,680
dragging against the carpet, just enough to show the dark.

993
01:17:17,079 --> 01:17:20,039
Sometimes the mobile above the crib would be spinning when

994
01:17:20,079 --> 01:17:25,119
I woke up, not fast, but turning. The air always

995
01:17:25,119 --> 01:17:28,960
felt colder on that side of the room, stale, even

996
01:17:29,039 --> 01:17:32,920
in summer. More than once I woke up to find

997
01:17:32,920 --> 01:17:36,439
my blanket half way across the floor, not kicked or

998
01:17:36,479 --> 01:17:40,239
bunched up at the foot of the bed, pulled neatly,

999
01:17:40,960 --> 01:17:45,119
as if someone had taken it while I slept. Once

1000
01:17:45,239 --> 01:17:47,720
I left Jamie's stuff lamb on the dresser before bed,

1001
01:17:48,520 --> 01:17:50,880
I found it tucked under his blanket in the morning.

1002
01:17:52,680 --> 01:17:55,800
When I mentioned any of it, my father grew distant.

1003
01:17:56,319 --> 01:17:59,479
My mother got stern, told me not to mock things

1004
01:17:59,520 --> 01:18:03,239
I didn't understand, told me Jamie had every right to

1005
01:18:03,279 --> 01:18:08,640
be here too. I stopped talking about it, but I

1006
01:18:08,720 --> 01:18:13,520
started watching, and the more I watched, the more. I

1007
01:18:13,680 --> 01:18:23,760
was sure I was not alone in that room. I

1008
01:18:23,840 --> 01:18:26,800
wanted to believe I was normal, that this was typical

1009
01:18:26,840 --> 01:18:32,439
of a family, but school ruined that illusion. Other kids

1010
01:18:32,479 --> 01:18:36,199
asked questions I didn't know how to answer. When they

1011
01:18:36,239 --> 01:18:39,840
came over, their faces shifted in that quiet way children

1012
01:18:39,880 --> 01:18:44,920
do when something doesn't sit right. Not fear, not yet,

1013
01:18:46,039 --> 01:18:50,560
just discomfort, A feeling that the air wasn't moving right

1014
01:18:50,600 --> 01:18:55,960
in the hallway, that the second crib didn't belong. One girl,

1015
01:18:56,560 --> 01:18:59,319
I think a name was Rachel, asked who the other

1016
01:18:59,359 --> 01:19:03,800
bed was for. I told her the truth, at least

1017
01:19:03,960 --> 01:19:09,960
my mother's version. It's for Jamie. Here's my brother, but

1018
01:19:10,279 --> 01:19:15,840
he's not here. He is, I said, he's just quiet.

1019
01:19:17,920 --> 01:19:21,279
She looked at the crib, then back at me, and

1020
01:19:21,399 --> 01:19:25,960
something in her eyes went cold. I never saw her

1021
01:19:25,960 --> 01:19:29,399
again after that. Her mom called to say she didn't

1022
01:19:29,439 --> 01:19:35,079
want Rachel coming over any more. No reason was given.

1023
01:19:35,439 --> 01:19:38,760
Another time, I tried to have a sleep over Matthew

1024
01:19:38,800 --> 01:19:42,359
from down the road. We played video games until late,

1025
01:19:42,840 --> 01:19:46,640
then got into our sleeping bags on the floor. He

1026
01:19:46,760 --> 01:19:49,680
kept glancing at the crib, said it was weird that

1027
01:19:49,760 --> 01:19:53,560
it was still up in the middle of the night.

1028
01:19:54,079 --> 01:19:57,680
I woke up to him shaking me. He looked pale

1029
01:19:57,800 --> 01:20:04,680
and sweaty. I heard someone whispering, he said, right in

1030
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:09,840
my ear. I told him it was probably a bad dream,

1031
01:20:10,520 --> 01:20:12,880
the usual reason my parents told me when I had

1032
01:20:12,920 --> 01:20:16,319
the same thing happened to me. But he was already

1033
01:20:16,319 --> 01:20:21,039
stuffing his things into his backpack. He left before sunrise.

1034
01:20:21,920 --> 01:20:27,439
His parents never let him visit again. I tried to

1035
01:20:27,479 --> 01:20:32,000
ask my mom if Jamie could be quieter, or if

1036
01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:35,399
we could put some of his things away. She just

1037
01:20:35,439 --> 01:20:39,279
smiled and said, don't be rude to your brother. He

1038
01:20:39,359 --> 01:20:45,920
doesn't have much. When I said, very carefully that Jamie

1039
01:20:46,279 --> 01:20:52,880
wasn't real, her hand tightened my arm. Don't ever say that,

1040
01:20:53,560 --> 01:20:57,800
she said, do you understand? Never that kind of talk

1041
01:20:57,960 --> 01:21:02,399
hurts him. She looked over at my shoulder and then

1042
01:21:02,479 --> 01:21:08,359
towards the nursery, not at me. Her face changed softened,

1043
01:21:09,039 --> 01:21:12,000
as if she was waiting for a sound or listening

1044
01:21:12,039 --> 01:21:18,239
for one. I never said it again at school. I

1045
01:21:18,319 --> 01:21:22,199
stopped inviting people. I ate lunch alone. I didn't tell

1046
01:21:22,239 --> 01:21:28,119
stories about home. At home, I spoke carefully, stepped lightly.

1047
01:21:28,880 --> 01:21:33,119
I never crossed the seam in the rug. I didn't

1048
01:21:33,199 --> 01:21:38,159
understand the rules only that they mattered, and breaking them

1049
01:21:39,479 --> 01:21:45,119
made the house worse. I wasn't supposed to go in

1050
01:21:45,119 --> 01:21:48,239
the hallway closet. It was one of the few rules

1051
01:21:48,239 --> 01:21:53,520
that stuck. That door always stayed shut. The key hung

1052
01:21:53,560 --> 01:21:56,720
from a small brass hook above the frame, just out

1053
01:21:56,720 --> 01:22:00,479
of reach for most of my childhood. When I finally

1054
01:22:00,479 --> 01:22:06,680
got tall enough, I waited for the right day. It

1055
01:22:06,760 --> 01:22:11,319
was summer. My parents were downstairs arguing quietly in the kitchen.

1056
01:22:12,560 --> 01:22:15,359
I stood on a chair, slid the key from the hook,

1057
01:22:15,760 --> 01:22:21,399
and opened the door. It wasn't anything exciting, just coats

1058
01:22:21,439 --> 01:22:26,680
and cardboard boxes, musty wool, and an old vacuum. I

1059
01:22:26,720 --> 01:22:30,560
remember being disappointed until I reached into the sleeve of

1060
01:22:30,760 --> 01:22:36,079
raincoats stuffed to the back. My hand brushed plastic something

1061
01:22:36,199 --> 01:22:43,279
zipped and crinkly, a freezer bag inside a pale blue

1062
01:22:43,319 --> 01:22:46,880
notebook with a frayed corner and fading silver stars on

1063
01:22:46,920 --> 01:22:51,399
the cover. There was no name on the front, but

1064
01:22:51,520 --> 01:22:54,319
I knew it was my mother's the moment I opened it.

1065
01:22:55,800 --> 01:23:00,399
Her handwriting was neat at first, curved letters, tidy, mind udgens.

1066
01:23:01,680 --> 01:23:05,840
It looked like any baby book, milestones and feeding charts,

1067
01:23:06,520 --> 01:23:12,279
first steps, favorite lullabies, but the dates didn't match my memories.

1068
01:23:13,399 --> 01:23:17,640
The entries continued well past my first birthday, past my second,

1069
01:23:17,960 --> 01:23:22,000
past the point Jamie had ever existed, if he'd existed

1070
01:23:22,039 --> 01:23:27,800
at all, and they weren't just about me. At first,

1071
01:23:27,800 --> 01:23:31,920
it was framed sweetly. Jamie slipt, curled up next to

1072
01:23:31,960 --> 01:23:36,760
his brother. He's calm when Tom sings. They're so bonded already.

1073
01:23:38,520 --> 01:23:42,520
Then the tone changed. He won't eat unless they're in

1074
01:23:42,560 --> 01:23:46,560
the room. He cries when Tom leaves. He only sleeps

1075
01:23:46,560 --> 01:23:50,479
when they're together. I called Tom, staring at the mirror again.

1076
01:23:51,079 --> 01:23:53,479
He said he saw a hand. I told him not

1077
01:23:53,600 --> 01:23:59,319
to lie. One page was half torn out. The bottom

1078
01:23:59,439 --> 01:24:02,159
edge looks gorged, as if it had been pressed too

1079
01:24:02,239 --> 01:24:07,159
close to a heater. The entries after that were shorter, slanted,

1080
01:24:07,760 --> 01:24:10,479
let us leaning into each other, as if she'd written

1081
01:24:10,520 --> 01:24:15,520
them quickly. The night terrors are back. I hear him

1082
01:24:15,560 --> 01:24:21,399
at the door. I think Jamie blames me. That was

1083
01:24:21,439 --> 01:24:25,479
the last thing she ever wrote, No signature, no date.

1084
01:24:27,199 --> 01:24:30,560
I sat on the closet floor, reading it over and

1085
01:24:30,680 --> 01:24:35,880
over until the hallway went dark. The argument downstairs had stopped.

1086
01:24:36,880 --> 01:24:41,039
I hadn't realized how long i'd been sitting there. I

1087
01:24:41,079 --> 01:24:43,640
put the journal back in the bag, tucked it into

1088
01:24:43,640 --> 01:24:46,960
the coat sleeve again, and shut the door, hung the

1089
01:24:47,039 --> 01:24:51,359
key back on the hook. I didn't tell anyone what

1090
01:24:51,439 --> 01:24:56,600
I'd found, but from that night on I started facing

1091
01:24:56,640 --> 01:25:00,920
away from Jamie's crip when I slept, just in case

1092
01:25:01,039 --> 01:25:08,439
Jamie wanted to talk. I was eleven the night I

1093
01:25:08,520 --> 01:25:13,159
climbed into Jamie's crib. It wasn't a dare. No one

1094
01:25:13,239 --> 01:25:16,359
told me to do it. It was just me in

1095
01:25:16,399 --> 01:25:20,039
the dark, stewing in the quiet rules. I wasn't allowed

1096
01:25:20,039 --> 01:25:24,720
to question. Two tooth brushes, two chairs at the little table.

1097
01:25:25,279 --> 01:25:30,319
One name whispered with mine every bedtime, Good night Jamie.

1098
01:25:32,800 --> 01:25:35,920
That night, I sat on my bed, staring across the

1099
01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:39,520
room at his crib. The bars had been repainted twice,

1100
01:25:40,000 --> 01:25:43,920
were still splintered slightly at the base. The mattress was

1101
01:25:44,000 --> 01:25:48,600
thin and yellowing. Under the fitted sheet. A stuffed elephant

1102
01:25:48,680 --> 01:25:54,119
sat in the corner, perfectly upright. I told myself it

1103
01:25:54,239 --> 01:25:59,479
was just furniture. Then I got up and stepped over.

1104
01:26:01,399 --> 01:26:05,039
The mobile turned slowly when I brushed past it. The

1105
01:26:05,079 --> 01:26:09,880
little animals cast long, thin shadows across the ceiling. I

1106
01:26:09,960 --> 01:26:13,640
climbed in lay flat, crossed my arms like I thought

1107
01:26:13,680 --> 01:26:21,159
a dead kid might. For a moment, nothing happened. Then

1108
01:26:21,199 --> 01:26:26,359
I blinked. The light was gone. The air was tight,

1109
01:26:27,119 --> 01:26:32,800
something hard pressed into my spine. I was in the closet,

1110
01:26:34,039 --> 01:26:38,000
cramped between winter coats and a broken vacuum hose, curled

1111
01:26:38,000 --> 01:26:41,399
at the bottom, like had been stuffed there. The door

1112
01:26:41,520 --> 01:26:45,479
was latched from the outside. I sat up fast and

1113
01:26:45,520 --> 01:26:51,399
slammed my shoulder against it once twice, my throat burned.

1114
01:26:52,920 --> 01:26:56,760
It opened, and the third hit. My mother came in,

1115
01:26:57,319 --> 01:27:03,319
not surprised, not angry, just tired. Her eyes moved from

1116
01:27:03,319 --> 01:27:08,239
mine to my lap, then back again. I looked down.

1117
01:27:09,960 --> 01:27:13,720
A baby one sea lay folded across my knees, not

1118
01:27:13,920 --> 01:27:18,159
one of mine, pale yellow, with a little embroidered bear

1119
01:27:18,359 --> 01:27:22,079
over the heart. It smelled faintly off fabric, softna and

1120
01:27:22,159 --> 01:27:30,159
something else, something older, damp wood, closed rooms. I hadn't

1121
01:27:30,199 --> 01:27:35,119
taken anything into the crib. I knew that, but there

1122
01:27:35,159 --> 01:27:40,199
it was. My mother said nothing for a long time.

1123
01:27:41,079 --> 01:27:47,359
Then finally she spoke, her voice quiet and even you

1124
01:27:47,680 --> 01:27:55,479
disrespected his face. Then she turned and walked away. I

1125
01:27:55,520 --> 01:27:59,359
didn't answer, I didn't follow. I sat there for a

1126
01:27:59,399 --> 01:28:03,399
long time, staring at the folds in the WANSEAA, and

1127
01:28:03,439 --> 01:28:07,960
the scratch marks carved into the inside of the closet door,

1128
01:28:08,000 --> 01:28:12,880
some shallow, some deep, some trailing all the way down.

1129
01:28:14,399 --> 01:28:17,600
I found the tape while clearing out the attic, which

1130
01:28:17,760 --> 01:28:20,760
behind an old box of moth eaten photo albums and

1131
01:28:20,840 --> 01:28:24,720
Christmas ornaments that hadn't been touched in years. It was

1132
01:28:24,760 --> 01:28:27,840
tugged inside a shoe box with a cassette player, half

1133
01:28:27,880 --> 01:28:32,600
covered in lint and crumbling insulation. The tape was labeled

1134
01:28:32,600 --> 01:28:41,079
in my mother's handwriting just one word bedtime. I took

1135
01:28:41,119 --> 01:28:45,039
it downstairs, sat cross legged on the nursery carpet, and

1136
01:28:45,119 --> 01:28:49,039
set the player between the cribs. The machine groaned a

1137
01:28:49,039 --> 01:28:54,399
little when I pressed play. Then her voice came through,

1138
01:28:55,159 --> 01:29:02,119
softer than I remembered, calmer. She was reading the Velveteen Rabbit.

1139
01:29:02,960 --> 01:29:07,760
That part I recognized. Her tone was warm, almost musical,

1140
01:29:08,119 --> 01:29:12,560
like she was reading to a child. Then her second

1141
01:29:12,640 --> 01:29:17,840
voice joined, higher pitched, not a baby's voice, but definitely

1142
01:29:17,880 --> 01:29:22,560
a child. I know how I used to sound. The

1143
01:29:22,680 --> 01:29:27,560
child interrupted the story, whispered phrases that didn't match the text.

1144
01:29:29,119 --> 01:29:31,920
Speaker 2: Is it real if it hurts? I want to know

1145
01:29:31,960 --> 01:29:37,640
what it tastes like. Tell the rabbit to leave her

1146
01:29:37,680 --> 01:29:43,239
reading never paused, she just kept going, steady and unbroken,

1147
01:29:44,199 --> 01:29:48,239
as if she didn't hear him. Near the end of

1148
01:29:48,279 --> 01:29:52,319
the tape, she stopped reading. The room and the recording

1149
01:29:52,399 --> 01:29:56,119
fell quiet, except for the faint creak of bedsprings and

1150
01:29:56,159 --> 01:30:02,119
the rustle of fabric. Then she whispered, say good night

1151
01:30:02,159 --> 01:30:07,760
to your brother. There was a pause, then the child's

1152
01:30:07,800 --> 01:30:16,199
voice replied, good night Tom. The tape clicked to a stop.

1153
01:30:18,680 --> 01:30:22,319
I didn't breathe for a few seconds. I rewound it,

1154
01:30:22,600 --> 01:30:28,600
handshaking and listened again. Every syllable landed colder than the last.

1155
01:30:29,720 --> 01:30:34,880
The voice wasn't scared, it wasn't sleepy. It sounded amused.

1156
01:30:36,880 --> 01:30:39,279
I left the tape in the player and backed out

1157
01:30:39,279 --> 01:30:42,640
of the room, one step at a time, until I

1158
01:30:42,720 --> 01:30:47,880
was out in the hall. The mobile above Jamie's crib

1159
01:30:48,000 --> 01:30:55,560
was spinning again. I hadn't touched it. I left the

1160
01:30:55,600 --> 01:31:01,279
house at eighteen, No dramatic goodbye, no big sea, just

1161
01:31:01,319 --> 01:31:04,560
the quiet drive to university, with a back seat full

1162
01:31:04,600 --> 01:31:07,800
of boxes and a silence between me and my father

1163
01:31:08,279 --> 01:31:12,399
that neither of us had the vocabulary to fill. I

1164
01:31:12,479 --> 01:31:16,560
chose to school six hours away. No one questioned the distance,

1165
01:31:17,079 --> 01:31:21,119
no one offered to help me unpack. That first night,

1166
01:31:21,159 --> 01:31:26,079
in the dawn, I slept straight through, no blankets pulled off,

1167
01:31:26,279 --> 01:31:31,399
no creaking doors, no footsteps around my bed. I remember

1168
01:31:31,439 --> 01:31:34,720
waking up in the morning, light leaking through the blinds,

1169
01:31:35,520 --> 01:31:39,800
and realizing how long it had been since I felt rested.

1170
01:31:41,079 --> 01:31:45,640
No Jamie, no closet dreams, no nursery whispers.

1171
01:31:46,359 --> 01:31:52,680
Speaker 1: Just quiet. I started telling myself the story a different way,

1172
01:31:53,560 --> 01:31:57,039
that my childhood had been shaped by grief, not ghosts,

1173
01:31:57,680 --> 01:32:01,279
that what I remembered was trauma echoing in strange places.

1174
01:32:02,079 --> 01:32:08,960
Ritual turned into obsession, in obsession into fear, And it

1175
01:32:09,079 --> 01:32:17,079
almost worked until the phone call started, not often, once

1176
01:32:17,119 --> 01:32:23,119
every few months, always from my mother. He's quieter since

1177
01:32:23,159 --> 01:32:26,520
you left, she'd say, as if we were talking about

1178
01:32:26,520 --> 01:32:30,000
a real boy. He only plays in your room now.

1179
01:32:31,720 --> 01:32:36,760
Then a few years later she called me distressed. He

1180
01:32:36,840 --> 01:32:41,039
won't stop crying. It's every day. Please play with him.

1181
01:32:43,319 --> 01:32:47,920
I didn't answer when she called. After that, whatever lived

1182
01:32:47,960 --> 01:32:51,239
in that house, whether it was grief or something else,

1183
01:32:52,199 --> 01:32:56,920
I'd left it behind, or maybe he just stayed with her.

1184
01:32:58,960 --> 01:33:02,479
I didn't go back after there, I left, not for holidays,

1185
01:33:02,600 --> 01:33:06,279
not for birthdays, not even when Dad called asking if

1186
01:33:06,319 --> 01:33:09,359
i'd stop by when I was in town, though I

1187
01:33:09,439 --> 01:33:13,720
never was. I almost went back when my father had

1188
01:33:13,720 --> 01:33:17,319
a stroke and left him in need of care, which

1189
01:33:17,359 --> 01:33:21,039
my mother took on herself. But each time I was

1190
01:33:21,119 --> 01:33:26,319
ready to go, I didn't. I just stopped to the

1191
01:33:26,399 --> 01:33:32,439
front door, held the handle, then quietly unpacked, telling myself

1192
01:33:32,640 --> 01:33:36,560
it was a bad time. I told myself I needed

1193
01:33:36,600 --> 01:33:39,800
the distance, that it was healthier not to look back

1194
01:33:41,439 --> 01:33:45,880
for a while. It was true. I slept better, I

1195
01:33:45,960 --> 01:33:49,560
worked hard, I let the past become something vague and

1196
01:33:49,680 --> 01:33:57,800
far away. Then the call came. It happened fast, a

1197
01:33:57,880 --> 01:34:01,520
blood clot. They said she was gone before they reached

1198
01:34:01,520 --> 01:34:06,840
the hospital. Not much was said on the phone, just

1199
01:34:06,920 --> 01:34:10,399
that someone needed to handle the house. My father was

1200
01:34:10,439 --> 01:34:17,119
being moved into assisted living permanent this time. I hadn't

1201
01:34:17,159 --> 01:34:20,960
seen it in years, not since I left for university.

1202
01:34:22,159 --> 01:34:26,439
The drive back felt longer than I remembered. When I

1203
01:34:26,520 --> 01:34:30,399
unlocked the door, the air inside was stale, but still

1204
01:34:30,479 --> 01:34:35,520
held that faint antiseptic scent. I couldn't place. Everything was

1205
01:34:35,560 --> 01:34:41,079
as I left it, furniture frozen in place, family photos untouched,

1206
01:34:41,760 --> 01:34:46,039
no signs of a life winding down, only a life paused.

1207
01:34:47,840 --> 01:34:52,079
I made my way to the nursery. It was too clean.

1208
01:34:53,079 --> 01:34:56,680
The crib stood exactly where it always had, the same

1209
01:34:56,760 --> 01:35:01,079
folded blanket, the same mobile above, faintly trembling when I

1210
01:35:01,119 --> 01:35:06,039
opened the door. No dust, no neglect, not a thread

1211
01:35:06,079 --> 01:35:11,880
out of place. She'd been maintaining it, even after all

1212
01:35:11,920 --> 01:35:18,720
this time. A small envelope waited on the desk, yellowed

1213
01:35:18,760 --> 01:35:23,159
slightly at the edges, but sealed neatly, my name on

1214
01:35:23,199 --> 01:35:28,520
the front, written in her hand. Beneath it, five words

1215
01:35:28,560 --> 01:35:34,319
in faded ink, for when you come home. I opened

1216
01:35:34,359 --> 01:35:38,279
the envelope with a strange sense of calm. Maybe I

1217
01:35:38,319 --> 01:35:41,479
already knew what was inside. Maybe I didn't want to

1218
01:35:41,520 --> 01:35:45,279
admit it until I held the paper in my hands.

1219
01:35:45,880 --> 01:35:48,399
It was a torn page from the old baby journal,

1220
01:35:48,920 --> 01:35:53,159
the same handwriting I remembered from years ago, but it

1221
01:35:53,239 --> 01:35:57,880
had changed. The neat script had grown unsteady, heavier toward

1222
01:35:57,960 --> 01:36:00,640
the end, like the pen had been pressed too hard

1223
01:36:00,680 --> 01:36:05,199
into the paper. I tried to separate you. I tried

1224
01:36:05,239 --> 01:36:08,920
to tell myself it was never real. But I heard

1225
01:36:08,960 --> 01:36:13,880
you both, even when you weren't speaking. He cries when

1226
01:36:13,880 --> 01:36:18,520
you leave. He never cries for me. He only settles

1227
01:36:18,560 --> 01:36:23,239
when you're near. He needs a brother, and I can't

1228
01:36:23,239 --> 01:36:30,760
give him another one, only you. A second page was

1229
01:36:30,760 --> 01:36:35,720
stuck behind it, a glossy photograph, curled slightly at the corners.

1230
01:36:36,479 --> 01:36:41,000
I didn't recognize it at first. A hospital room, a bassinette,

1231
01:36:41,960 --> 01:36:47,000
two newborns, one red faced and howling, the other was

1232
01:36:47,119 --> 01:36:53,039
lying still, two still, eyes closed, lips parted just enough

1233
01:36:53,079 --> 01:36:56,800
to show the faintest shadow of gums. At the bottom

1234
01:36:56,880 --> 01:37:01,399
was a timestamp, five hours after jamie official time of death.

1235
01:37:03,159 --> 01:37:07,600
I didn't remember this photo. I shouldn't. I was in it,

1236
01:37:08,439 --> 01:37:13,439
but I wasn't alone. As soon as I put the

1237
01:37:13,560 --> 01:37:19,600
letter down, a sound burst from the far room, crying,

1238
01:37:20,520 --> 01:37:25,600
loud and shrill. I didn't jump to any theories. I

1239
01:37:25,680 --> 01:37:34,560
knew exactly who it was, Jamie. I crept over, easing

1240
01:37:34,720 --> 01:37:38,119
towards the bedroom I'd avoided for well over a decade,

1241
01:37:39,399 --> 01:37:44,520
and as I approached, the sound softened hicks between the

1242
01:37:44,600 --> 01:37:49,720
loud sobs, as if listening to my approaching footsteps. As

1243
01:37:49,720 --> 01:37:53,239
soon as my hand braced the doorknob, the sobbing all

1244
01:37:53,359 --> 01:37:58,319
but vanished, and when I opened the door and looked inside.

1245
01:37:59,079 --> 01:38:05,119
I was greeted by pure silence. Some of the toys

1246
01:38:05,159 --> 01:38:07,479
had moved from when I first looked in the room.

1247
01:38:08,159 --> 01:38:11,720
The blanket that was previously neatly placed was thrown aside,

1248
01:38:12,199 --> 01:38:17,319
like from a child throwing a tantrum. But my mother

1249
01:38:17,479 --> 01:38:27,600
was right. When I was around, he stopped crying. I

1250
01:38:27,720 --> 01:38:30,319
made the bed in the nursery before it got dark.

1251
01:38:31,079 --> 01:38:33,920
I sat in the chair by the window, wrapped in

1252
01:38:33,960 --> 01:38:37,119
one of the old blankets from the closet. The ki

1253
01:38:37,199 --> 01:38:42,680
that still smelled faintly of powder and time. Around midnight,

1254
01:38:43,279 --> 01:38:47,760
the mobile above the second crib began to spin. No music,

1255
01:38:48,720 --> 01:38:53,840
just a slow creaking turn. The temperature in the room dropped,

1256
01:38:54,960 --> 01:38:59,479
not a breeze, just a still sinking cold, the kai

1257
01:38:59,560 --> 01:39:04,039
that set behind your eyes. I walked to the crib.

1258
01:39:05,319 --> 01:39:11,680
It was empty, but the sheets were warm. The closet door,

1259
01:39:12,359 --> 01:39:15,159
the same one I once woke up inside all those

1260
01:39:15,279 --> 01:39:20,640
years ago, eased open with a soft groan. No rush,

1261
01:39:21,239 --> 01:39:24,039
just the quiet insistence of a door used to being

1262
01:39:24,119 --> 01:39:30,319
open from the inside. A small hand, pale and steady,

1263
01:39:30,880 --> 01:39:36,479
reached out around the frame. I didn't flinch, didn't scream,

1264
01:39:37,800 --> 01:39:42,119
I just looked down at the hand and said okay.

1265
01:39:45,720 --> 01:39:49,920
I sat down carefully and just held his little hand

1266
01:39:49,960 --> 01:39:58,079
for a while. His skin was ice cold. That was

1267
01:39:58,119 --> 01:40:03,359
all he needed. The next morning, the nursery was still

1268
01:40:04,359 --> 01:40:08,880
no footprints, no open doors, just the made bed and

1269
01:40:09,039 --> 01:40:18,039
dust dancing in the light. The house was silent. I

1270
01:40:18,119 --> 01:40:24,760
think she was right, he does just need her brother.

1271
01:40:34,399 --> 01:40:37,199
I always brought two drinks up the tower crane with me,

1272
01:40:38,079 --> 01:40:41,880
one thermos for coffee and a bottle for the strongest stuff.

1273
01:40:43,079 --> 01:40:46,079
I get to tuck deep in my rocksack, half wrapped

1274
01:40:46,079 --> 01:40:49,439
in an old flannel to keep it from clinking. I

1275
01:40:49,479 --> 01:40:52,680
sipped it slowly, just enough to keep the shake out

1276
01:40:52,680 --> 01:40:56,159
of my hands. As the moon rose and up there

1277
01:40:56,600 --> 01:41:02,680
above the trees, no one could see. The shakes had

1278
01:41:02,680 --> 01:41:05,960
gotten worse since I came out here. I wasn't proud

1279
01:41:06,000 --> 01:41:08,720
of it. Would you sit up in a steel box

1280
01:41:08,800 --> 01:41:11,800
one hundred and forty meters off the ground with nothing

1281
01:41:11,880 --> 01:41:16,800
but wind and birds for company, Eventually you'd need something

1282
01:41:16,840 --> 01:41:20,640
to pass the time I had a book. My daughter

1283
01:41:20,720 --> 01:41:24,319
erely gave me on my lap, a stiff little paperback

1284
01:41:24,479 --> 01:41:29,359
called Field Guide to North American Cryptids. In bright red lettering.

1285
01:41:30,520 --> 01:41:33,520
It was clearly a kid's book. She'd handed it to

1286
01:41:33,560 --> 01:41:36,319
me during my last visit back in Trurow and said

1287
01:41:36,399 --> 01:41:39,840
who was to keep me company? I laughed and told

1288
01:41:39,840 --> 01:41:42,760
her she was nuts, but she just rolled her eyes

1289
01:41:42,800 --> 01:41:48,359
and said, you'll read it when you're bored. She was right.

1290
01:41:49,960 --> 01:41:52,720
When I first opened it, there was a yellow sticky

1291
01:41:52,760 --> 01:41:56,520
note in a handwriting stuck on the front page. It read,

1292
01:41:57,680 --> 01:42:02,960
don't get eaten, dad, You're too grumpy for that. Her

1293
01:42:03,000 --> 01:42:06,039
mom doesn't let me see her much, not since the hearing.

1294
01:42:06,119 --> 01:42:09,600
Last year. I missed a couple of pickups while working

1295
01:42:09,640 --> 01:42:12,560
out west and couldn't get back in time, and she

1296
01:42:12,720 --> 01:42:16,680
used that to file for full custody. She's not wrong

1297
01:42:16,760 --> 01:42:21,359
to want stability for Ellie. I get that, but I'm trying,

1298
01:42:22,319 --> 01:42:25,399
I really am. I take these jobs so I can

1299
01:42:25,439 --> 01:42:28,439
pay what I owe for child support and legal payments,

1300
01:42:28,880 --> 01:42:31,039
and maybe show the court that I'm not some dead

1301
01:42:31,039 --> 01:42:34,520
beat and a hard hat. The best paying ones mean

1302
01:42:34,680 --> 01:42:37,159
coming all the way out here and sleeping in a

1303
01:42:37,239 --> 01:42:41,359
trailer six nights a week. But it's worth it if

1304
01:42:41,399 --> 01:42:43,479
I can pick Ellie up with something new in the

1305
01:42:43,520 --> 01:42:46,960
back seat and take her for ice cream without checking

1306
01:42:46,960 --> 01:42:52,239
my balance first. The past few nights have been colder

1307
01:42:52,279 --> 01:42:55,479
than expected. I poured a bottle from my pack and

1308
01:42:55,520 --> 01:42:59,159
took a swig. The whiskey did the trick and settled

1309
01:42:59,199 --> 01:43:04,399
in warmer my ribs. We were ahead of schedule. I

1310
01:43:04,520 --> 01:43:07,319
leaned back, thumbed the edge of the book and looked

1311
01:43:07,319 --> 01:43:12,319
out the glass. The radio mumbled in and out, tight

1312
01:43:12,359 --> 01:43:16,039
in that corner. Where's that extra bracket gone? Rob? Check

1313
01:43:16,079 --> 01:43:21,840
the clearance? By tower three? Same old stuff. I didn't

1314
01:43:21,840 --> 01:43:24,560
listen to most of it. I only kept my ear

1315
01:43:24,640 --> 01:43:29,039
open for anything meant for me. Then a new voice

1316
01:43:29,119 --> 01:43:34,520
cut in, Hang on, there's something down by the tree line.

1317
01:43:36,079 --> 01:43:42,479
Another voice crackled back, what do you mean? I sat up, frowning.

1318
01:43:43,520 --> 01:43:47,000
Lights near the equipment trailers were still on, stretching long

1319
01:43:47,039 --> 01:43:50,600
shadows into the brush. It could have been a moose,

1320
01:43:50,920 --> 01:43:54,239
maybe a black bear. With the voices on the radio

1321
01:43:54,479 --> 01:43:59,760
didn't sound calm. Movement by tower four, you guys seeing that?

1322
01:44:01,680 --> 01:44:06,560
Then came static, geez, what is that? It cut off?

1323
01:44:07,960 --> 01:44:12,840
Panic bled through. There's something out there, something's moving. Markabull

1324
01:44:12,960 --> 01:44:16,319
back now, I said, Paul. I stood so fast the

1325
01:44:16,319 --> 01:44:19,399
buck slipped off my lap and hit the floor. I

1326
01:44:19,520 --> 01:44:23,880
leaned over the control's fingers smudging the glass, breath fogging

1327
01:44:23,920 --> 01:44:28,000
the inside. I wiped it with my sleeve and squinted hard.

1328
01:44:28,600 --> 01:44:32,239
Too far to see faces, but I saw a movement.

1329
01:44:33,920 --> 01:44:38,520
People were running. One figure took off past the prefab stack.

1330
01:44:39,079 --> 01:44:41,840
Then something else broke out of the dark behind him.

1331
01:44:42,800 --> 01:44:47,800
Low to the ground, fast, it tackled him, limbs flying.

1332
01:44:48,800 --> 01:44:51,600
I couldn't see much, but the thing looked nothing like

1333
01:44:51,680 --> 01:44:57,479
the workers. Someone else came running into help. The thing intercepted,

1334
01:44:57,880 --> 01:45:00,960
lifted the guy clean off his feet, and slammed him

1335
01:45:01,000 --> 01:45:05,680
into the floodlight tower. It collapsed with a clang, smashed

1336
01:45:05,680 --> 01:45:10,640
into the fuel cage. Then there was fire, bright and fast.

1337
01:45:11,600 --> 01:45:15,640
Flames jumped from tarp to tire, tired to trailer. The

1338
01:45:15,720 --> 01:45:20,439
crew scattered, the thing followed. It tore through the camp,

1339
01:45:21,239 --> 01:45:24,920
and even from a pie I could tell it wasn't

1340
01:45:25,000 --> 01:45:32,760
just chasing, it was hunting. More screams crackled over the radio.

1341
01:45:33,680 --> 01:45:37,880
One was just the name over and over. Another came through,

1342
01:45:37,920 --> 01:45:43,600
crying for help. Then a wet, cracking noise and silence.

1343
01:45:45,600 --> 01:45:50,479
Then I saw it stop, just for a second. The

1344
01:45:50,560 --> 01:45:53,800
thing was crouched near the last standing fuel drum, half

1345
01:45:53,840 --> 01:45:58,520
lit by the flames and it lit it up elbow

1346
01:45:58,600 --> 01:46:01,720
joins too high. There were no clothes or gear I

1347
01:46:01,720 --> 01:46:06,079
could make out. It looked like it had huge antlers.

1348
01:46:06,520 --> 01:46:10,960
It stayed low, almost coiled, but when the fire crept closer,

1349
01:46:11,600 --> 01:46:15,640
it reared upright, took one step back, and crawled forward

1350
01:46:15,680 --> 01:46:20,560
again on all fours. As the fire surrounded my tower,

1351
01:46:21,039 --> 01:46:23,439
the thing backed up to my ladders and was so

1352
01:46:23,640 --> 01:46:27,560
far below me I couldn't see it any more. I

1353
01:46:27,600 --> 01:46:31,119
stepped back from the glass, heart pounding, then moved to

1354
01:46:31,199 --> 01:46:35,520
the rear door, the one that covered the ladder access.

1355
01:46:35,920 --> 01:46:40,239
I flipped the lock and pushed it open a crack there,

1356
01:46:41,039 --> 01:46:44,840
way way down the steel spine of the tower. It

1357
01:46:44,960 --> 01:46:50,279
was something moving. It climbed slow but steady, hooking each

1358
01:46:50,399 --> 01:46:54,000
limb over wrung half the rung. Smoke hit me in

1359
01:46:54,000 --> 01:46:58,039
the face. It was thick and full of heat. I

1360
01:46:58,119 --> 01:47:03,399
doubled back, coughing, my eyes watered, and slammed the door shut.

1361
01:47:04,720 --> 01:47:07,319
My hands slipped on the latch and I locked it again.

1362
01:47:08,960 --> 01:47:12,479
I wiped my mouth and searched the cabin. Strapped to

1363
01:47:12,520 --> 01:47:15,439
the side panel was a fire extinguisher. One of the

1364
01:47:15,479 --> 01:47:20,079
heavy steel canisters dented at the top. I thought, if

1365
01:47:20,119 --> 01:47:22,439
I could get a clean hit from this height, it

1366
01:47:22,560 --> 01:47:26,960
might cave the thing scullen, the fire would die down eventually,

1367
01:47:27,359 --> 01:47:31,479
or help would come. I could wait it out climb down.

1368
01:47:31,520 --> 01:47:35,520
Once the smoke cleared, I snapped the clips and pulled

1369
01:47:35,520 --> 01:47:40,119
it loose, cracked the hatch again, and leaned out. I

1370
01:47:40,159 --> 01:47:42,279
lined up with where it was on the right side,

1371
01:47:42,760 --> 01:47:48,640
aimed for that spot, and dropped it. I snapped the

1372
01:47:48,680 --> 01:47:52,319
hatch shut, stopping the smoke from pouring in, and watched

1373
01:47:52,359 --> 01:47:55,960
through the glass as the red cylinder fell briefly before

1374
01:47:56,000 --> 01:47:58,920
it ricocheted off one of the support bars and spun

1375
01:47:59,039 --> 01:48:02,720
once in the air. Then it clattered like a coin

1376
01:48:02,800 --> 01:48:07,560
down a drain and tumbled somewhere out of sight. Near

1377
01:48:07,560 --> 01:48:12,319
the bottom. The creature was frozen, one long limb hugged

1378
01:48:12,319 --> 01:48:17,000
on the ladder rail, the other hanging loose at its side.

1379
01:48:17,359 --> 01:48:21,199
I could see its head tilt slowly until it was

1380
01:48:21,279 --> 01:48:25,119
looking up its face if you could call it, that

1381
01:48:26,199 --> 01:48:30,119
was bone. From the collar, I could tell it had

1382
01:48:30,159 --> 01:48:34,000
no skin, no muscle. The shape was too long and

1383
01:48:34,119 --> 01:48:37,319
narrow to be anything human, and it appeared more like

1384
01:48:37,359 --> 01:48:41,119
a deer skull, but longer with black sockets. I couldn't

1385
01:48:41,119 --> 01:48:44,960
see from here. The antlers weren't wide like a buck.

1386
01:48:45,720 --> 01:48:51,119
They clawed back, thin and spun like charred branches. Even

1387
01:48:51,159 --> 01:48:55,079
with the smoke and distance between us, I knew it

1388
01:48:55,159 --> 01:49:00,640
had only just noticed me. I stumbled back. My shoulder

1389
01:49:00,720 --> 01:49:04,520
cracked into the wall. I searched the cabin for anything heavy,

1390
01:49:04,680 --> 01:49:08,319
like my rocksack, the radio box, even the goddamn swivel

1391
01:49:08,399 --> 01:49:10,920
chair if I could get it loose. But there was

1392
01:49:10,960 --> 01:49:14,760
nothing here that would hold against something like that. My

1393
01:49:14,880 --> 01:49:17,840
hands shook as I snatched the radio and clicked the receiver,

1394
01:49:18,560 --> 01:49:24,520
already backing toward the front window. Anyone copy, I swallowed hard.

1395
01:49:25,159 --> 01:49:30,239
This is Marcus up in Towan? Is anyone there? Only

1396
01:49:30,279 --> 01:49:34,640
static came back, and there was a slow clicking of hiss.

1397
01:49:35,279 --> 01:49:41,000
I tried again, anyone live down there? Someone answer me? Someone? No,

1398
01:49:41,680 --> 01:49:46,840
something is climbing the goddamn tower. I turned and looked

1399
01:49:46,840 --> 01:49:51,920
down again, hoping, just hoping for some movement, some sign

1400
01:49:51,960 --> 01:49:58,119
of life among the smoking flames. There was nothing. Then

1401
01:49:58,199 --> 01:50:02,279
Kyle came to mind. Three days ago, we'd been eating

1402
01:50:02,279 --> 01:50:05,159
the lunch out behind the trailer, sitting on the edge

1403
01:50:05,159 --> 01:50:07,479
of a pilot stack with our boots in the dirt.

1404
01:50:08,720 --> 01:50:11,760
He was younger than me by decades, with fresh boots

1405
01:50:11,800 --> 01:50:15,479
and fresh gloves, and still called the foreman sir, like

1406
01:50:15,560 --> 01:50:18,960
it was his first camp. He nudged me with his

1407
01:50:19,039 --> 01:50:23,039
elbow while I was half way through a sandwich. You

1408
01:50:23,159 --> 01:50:27,399
ever see teeth in the saw? Before? He asked, I

1409
01:50:27,439 --> 01:50:33,079
glanced at him like an animal's. He shook his head

1410
01:50:33,359 --> 01:50:37,960
and pulled a crumpled napkin out of his jacket pocket. Hesitant,

1411
01:50:38,680 --> 01:50:42,359
he unwrapped it and held it out. Inside was a

1412
01:50:42,439 --> 01:50:47,840
yellow tooth. It was sharp in one end. Christ Man,

1413
01:50:48,319 --> 01:50:53,640
I said that real? He nodded, founded by the west

1414
01:50:53,680 --> 01:50:57,000
tree line under some roots. Kept this one forget. No

1415
01:50:57,039 --> 01:51:01,199
one would believe me otherwise. I took a closer look.

1416
01:51:02,399 --> 01:51:06,479
Look's human, That's what I thought. There are a bunch

1417
01:51:06,520 --> 01:51:11,159
of them in the same spot. You report it, yeah,

1418
01:51:11,920 --> 01:51:14,840
he said, Radio did in as soon as we uncovered

1419
01:51:14,840 --> 01:51:17,560
the first view. They told me it was probably old

1420
01:51:17,600 --> 01:51:20,520
dental waste. So there used to be a field hospital

1421
01:51:20,600 --> 01:51:24,039
up here during the war. That doesn't explain some of

1422
01:51:24,079 --> 01:51:29,319
the weird bones I found out here. I remember squinting

1423
01:51:29,359 --> 01:51:33,399
past him out toward the tree line. The company had

1424
01:51:33,439 --> 01:51:36,119
us clearing a stretch near the back boundary of the site.

1425
01:51:37,039 --> 01:51:42,000
Apparently the land had been untouched for decades. Some investors

1426
01:51:42,000 --> 01:51:45,279
out east picked it up cheap and wanted the foundations

1427
01:51:45,279 --> 01:51:49,760
for condos before ski season. The last real record was

1428
01:51:49,760 --> 01:51:52,680
from the fire crew in the seventies, and even they

1429
01:51:52,720 --> 01:51:57,840
didn't go far too steep, they said. We sat quietly

1430
01:51:57,920 --> 01:52:01,159
for a minute. After that, he wrapped the tooth back

1431
01:52:01,239 --> 01:52:04,760
up and slipped it into his jacket again, looking like

1432
01:52:04,840 --> 01:52:08,720
he wasn't sure if telling me had been the right idea.

1433
01:52:12,920 --> 01:52:16,399
That morning, Ellie called just as I was ready to sleep.

1434
01:52:17,720 --> 01:52:23,079
See anything cool today, she asked, I smiled. You mean

1435
01:52:23,119 --> 01:52:29,079
besides frostbite and rusted steel? She groaned, No, like cool,

1436
01:52:29,199 --> 01:52:36,000
cool animals or anything. This place is full of wildlife, right, Actually,

1437
01:52:36,800 --> 01:52:40,000
I said, One of the guys found some old bones,

1438
01:52:40,680 --> 01:52:45,720
teeth actually, out by the tree lion. There was a pause,

1439
01:52:46,479 --> 01:52:52,800
then a voice got a little sharper. Wait, really, what kind?

1440
01:52:53,560 --> 01:52:59,039
I didn't want to spooker. Probably a coyote? Could your fox?

1441
01:52:59,560 --> 01:53:03,720
We get a lot of weird stuff out here, she hummed.

1442
01:53:04,840 --> 01:53:08,520
That's kind of gross but also cool. Can you keep

1443
01:53:08,520 --> 01:53:11,760
one for me? I'm not sure your mom would love that.

1444
01:53:12,960 --> 01:53:15,720
She doesn't have to know, just hide it like I

1445
01:53:15,840 --> 01:53:20,960
do with that frog skull. We'll see, I laughed. Might

1446
01:53:21,039 --> 01:53:25,279
be a while before i'm back. That's okay. Just don't

1447
01:53:25,279 --> 01:53:31,279
get eaten, all right, wouldn't dream of it? Good, she said,

1448
01:53:31,520 --> 01:53:36,039
cheerful again. I promised i'd call her the next morning.

1449
01:53:37,079 --> 01:53:40,960
Then I stayed sitting there long after the line went dead.

1450
01:53:44,960 --> 01:53:48,199
I checked down the ladder again. The thing had made

1451
01:53:48,239 --> 01:53:51,439
a lot of progress. It was maybe a quarter the

1452
01:53:51,479 --> 01:53:54,680
way up now. I wiped my damp hands and my

1453
01:53:54,760 --> 01:53:58,319
jeans and reached for my pocket, fingers shaking as I

1454
01:53:58,399 --> 01:54:03,439
pulled out my phone. One bar, then none. I held

1455
01:54:03,479 --> 01:54:08,000
it higher angle toward the window. Then I, unlike the screen,

1456
01:54:08,920 --> 01:54:13,800
thumbed nine one one and hit call. There was a

1457
01:54:13,840 --> 01:54:23,680
crackle and some words in between emergency. Hello. My stomach flipped. Yes, Yes,

1458
01:54:23,720 --> 01:54:26,600
I'm here. My name's Marcus Holt. I'm at a tower

1459
01:54:26,680 --> 01:54:30,439
site off Range six. There's something down here. People are dead.

1460
01:54:30,800 --> 01:54:35,680
It's coming up the crane. I need help. Location say again,

1461
01:54:35,760 --> 01:54:41,960
your Alberta north of Jasper. It's a lease sight towering stall.

1462
01:54:42,399 --> 01:54:44,800
You need to get someone out here. And now there's

1463
01:54:44,840 --> 01:54:50,319
a fire and something is climbing. The line fractured. There

1464
01:54:50,359 --> 01:54:54,319
was a low pulse of static, then nothing but random words.

1465
01:54:55,840 --> 01:55:02,840
You repeat climbing. I pressed the phone tighter to my ear. Yes,

1466
01:55:03,239 --> 01:55:06,279
it's climbing. I'm at the top. I'm trapped. You have

1467
01:55:06,359 --> 01:55:12,159
to hello. Can you hear me? Hello? I stared at

1468
01:55:12,159 --> 01:55:16,399
the screen, and after a few moments of silence, I

1469
01:55:16,520 --> 01:55:21,840
hung up and tried again. This time I couldn't hear anything.

1470
01:55:24,079 --> 01:55:27,279
I lowered myself onto my chair, let the phone drop

1471
01:55:27,319 --> 01:55:31,399
in my lap and stared at it. My chest was

1472
01:55:31,439 --> 01:55:35,199
tight and I couldn't seem to breathe right. My hand

1473
01:55:35,279 --> 01:55:38,000
trembled as I reached for the bottle again and took

1474
01:55:38,039 --> 01:55:44,039
a small sip. It didn't help much. Everything was shaking now,

1475
01:55:44,840 --> 01:55:48,560
the glass, my legs, the whole damn cab felt like

1476
01:55:48,600 --> 01:55:52,680
it was trembling under me. I slumped back in the chair,

1477
01:55:53,119 --> 01:55:57,119
letting it turn slightly on its swivel. The cab creaked

1478
01:55:57,319 --> 01:56:01,079
faint and hollow. I stared past the glass to where

1479
01:56:01,079 --> 01:56:04,720
the fire had started, trying to find shapes in the dark.

1480
01:56:07,079 --> 01:56:12,439
My boot knocked something, and I glanced down the book.

1481
01:56:13,800 --> 01:56:17,039
It had landed face down in the corner. The edges

1482
01:56:17,079 --> 01:56:21,640
were bent and some pages had fanned open underneath. I

1483
01:56:21,720 --> 01:56:25,000
reached down, picked it up slowly, and brushed the cover

1484
01:56:25,079 --> 01:56:28,760
off with my sleeve. The page was still dog eared

1485
01:56:28,760 --> 01:56:33,279
from earlier. That little yellow, sticky note stuck out. I'd

1486
01:56:33,319 --> 01:56:38,199
been using it as a bookmark. Don't get eaten, dad,

1487
01:56:38,520 --> 01:56:43,600
You're too grumpy for that. I ran my thumb across

1488
01:56:43,600 --> 01:56:47,520
the handwriting. She'd use one of those thick purple pens,

1489
01:56:47,520 --> 01:56:50,319
she liked, the ones that always seemed to bleed through

1490
01:56:50,359 --> 01:56:54,279
paper and made a note look messy. It hit me

1491
01:56:54,359 --> 01:56:57,760
harder than I expected. I thought about the last time

1492
01:56:57,800 --> 01:57:01,039
I saw her. She'd asked me to take her skating,

1493
01:57:01,520 --> 01:57:04,800
but I didn't have enough gas money. I'd promised the

1494
01:57:04,920 --> 01:57:07,479
next time, i'd take her up to the big rink

1495
01:57:07,720 --> 01:57:10,840
and let her rent the flashy white skates, the ones

1496
01:57:10,880 --> 01:57:15,399
that made her look like a figure skater. Now I

1497
01:57:15,439 --> 01:57:20,119
didn't know if I get to keep that promise. I

1498
01:57:20,159 --> 01:57:23,960
stared down at the book and my eyes blurred. I

1499
01:57:24,039 --> 01:57:27,399
wiped them with a heel of my hand, sniffed, and

1500
01:57:27,479 --> 01:57:32,079
let the book fully fold open. Through the tears, I

1501
01:57:32,199 --> 01:57:36,960
noticed a hand drawn illustration, rough, like something copied from

1502
01:57:36,960 --> 01:57:42,199
an old woodcut. It was tall, thin, crawling on all

1503
01:57:42,319 --> 01:57:46,159
fours with a skull face and sharp antlers are twisted

1504
01:57:46,199 --> 01:57:51,479
like burnt branches. I stared at the drawing and my

1505
01:57:51,560 --> 01:57:56,960
body ran cold. That skull looked exactly like what I

1506
01:57:57,119 --> 01:58:01,239
saw on the ladder. It was in the book with

1507
01:58:01,319 --> 01:58:07,640
the page titled the Wendigo. I read the paragraph under

1508
01:58:07,640 --> 01:58:11,119
the name. It talked about the creature being born of winter,

1509
01:58:11,199 --> 01:58:16,279
starvation and cannibalism. It could never be full, It only

1510
01:58:16,359 --> 01:58:20,479
stretched thinner the more it fed. I traced my finger

1511
01:58:20,640 --> 01:58:24,399
across every word it said. It brought the cold with

1512
01:58:24,439 --> 01:58:28,359
it and left a rot smell that never faded. My

1513
01:58:28,479 --> 01:58:34,000
hands tensed. I remembered we had a stench following us

1514
01:58:34,119 --> 01:58:38,000
all week. The first day I thought maybe someone hit

1515
01:58:38,079 --> 01:58:41,640
a buried fuel drum or septic gleek. We even talked

1516
01:58:41,640 --> 01:58:46,319
about it over a cigarette. God that stinks. Think we

1517
01:58:46,399 --> 01:58:49,880
had a sewer line, Kyle asked, pulling his collar over

1518
01:58:49,920 --> 01:58:53,000
his nose. Hell of a sewer system for the middle

1519
01:58:53,000 --> 01:58:57,520
of nowhere, I shot back, But the smell never left.

1520
01:58:58,600 --> 01:59:01,920
It was sour and meat sweet, like wet hide in

1521
01:59:01,960 --> 01:59:06,399
a hot trunk. No matter where we dug it came with,

1522
01:59:08,079 --> 01:59:13,680
we never found a bibe. Now I know why, and

1523
01:59:13,800 --> 01:59:19,079
the cold geez the cold. I remember checking the weather

1524
01:59:19,119 --> 01:59:22,039
on my phone a day before getting here. When I

1525
01:59:22,039 --> 01:59:25,159
climbed up the first night, it was supposed to be mild,

1526
01:59:25,560 --> 01:59:30,720
sweat weather, ten maybe fifteen degrees, a little breeze coming

1527
01:59:30,760 --> 01:59:33,760
off the ridge. I left my thick gloves in the

1528
01:59:33,800 --> 01:59:38,359
trailer and zipped my coat only halfway. By the time

1529
01:59:38,399 --> 01:59:41,479
I hit the cab, my fingers were stiff, and I

1530
01:59:41,520 --> 01:59:44,760
had to rub them together to grip the throttle. I

1531
01:59:44,840 --> 01:59:47,479
thought maybe the height was doing it, or that I

1532
01:59:47,600 --> 01:59:51,039
was just run down. But even in the cab, with

1533
01:59:51,159 --> 01:59:55,279
all that glass trapping heat from the floodlights, I stayed

1534
01:59:55,319 --> 02:00:00,479
cold to my bones. I peeked back down the hatch us.

1535
02:00:01,520 --> 02:00:04,800
It was closer now. Its hunger seemed to have fed

1536
02:00:04,800 --> 02:00:08,359
its speed. The shape of it came through clearer now,

1537
02:00:09,079 --> 02:00:12,840
just like the picture. It was more bone than skin,

1538
02:00:13,600 --> 02:00:17,279
all joints and angles, limbs that bend in ways that

1539
02:00:17,359 --> 02:00:21,600
made me feel sick just watching. Its spine stuck out

1540
02:00:21,640 --> 02:00:25,039
like a ridge of knuckles, and its ribs strained under

1541
02:00:25,079 --> 02:00:29,159
something thin and gray that might have once been flesh.

1542
02:00:29,560 --> 02:00:33,199
Its head would tilt unnaturally to the side every few rungs,

1543
02:00:33,720 --> 02:00:37,399
like it was sniffing me out. My body went soft

1544
02:00:37,439 --> 02:00:41,239
all over. My hands were wet with sweat but still

1545
02:00:41,279 --> 02:00:45,880
freezing cold. I pictured the thing making it to the top,

1546
02:00:46,560 --> 02:00:49,239
but I quickly got that idea out of my head.

1547
02:00:52,000 --> 02:00:55,800
I had something to do. I reached for the book,

1548
02:00:56,079 --> 02:01:00,920
and I frantically scanned through the pages. Come on, I muttered,

1549
02:01:01,359 --> 02:01:05,880
come on, come on. My eyes dropped the next paragraph.

1550
02:01:06,319 --> 02:01:10,359
My fingers gripped the page tight, almost tearing it. I

1551
02:01:10,439 --> 02:01:14,760
was desperate for anything that might stop it. Folklore varies

1552
02:01:14,760 --> 02:01:19,560
by region it read, but many accounts agree the creature

1553
02:01:19,600 --> 02:01:22,439
has an aversion to fire, and can be stopped by

1554
02:01:22,439 --> 02:01:26,439
burning it to death and or carving out its icy heart.

1555
02:01:28,560 --> 02:01:33,199
I blinked, reading it twice. I'd watched the tear through

1556
02:01:33,239 --> 02:01:38,359
those men like paper, wild and frenzied. But then it stopped,

1557
02:01:39,119 --> 02:01:42,479
just for a second, right when the flames roared and

1558
02:01:42,520 --> 02:01:48,560
surrounded my crane. It hadn't just turned away, No, it

1559
02:01:48,600 --> 02:01:53,920
had recoiled from the heat. And now, looking back, God,

1560
02:01:54,560 --> 02:01:59,000
it hadn't been climbing the crane for me. I've had

1561
02:01:59,000 --> 02:02:02,199
a sick pull in my got. The fire had been

1562
02:02:02,239 --> 02:02:06,359
closing in fast, licking through the trailers, pushing smoke through

1563
02:02:06,359 --> 02:02:09,239
the tree tops and circling the base of the tower.

1564
02:02:10,439 --> 02:02:13,479
It didn't charge straight for the ladder until after the

1565
02:02:13,560 --> 02:02:16,920
flames got too close. It had gone up the crane

1566
02:02:16,960 --> 02:02:21,359
because it had nowhere else to go. I stood there,

1567
02:02:21,840 --> 02:02:25,720
book in one hand, mouth dry, and suddenly wanted to

1568
02:02:25,760 --> 02:02:29,640
put my fist through the glass. If I hadn't dropped

1569
02:02:29,640 --> 02:02:34,319
the goddamn extinguisher, if I just stayed quiet, maybe it

1570
02:02:34,319 --> 02:02:37,119
would have climbed half way up, then waited it out.

1571
02:02:38,079 --> 02:02:40,840
Maybe it would have crawled back down once the flames died.

1572
02:02:41,640 --> 02:02:44,119
There was a chance it never would have known I

1573
02:02:44,159 --> 02:02:48,279
was up here. I stared down at the hatch door,

1574
02:02:48,800 --> 02:02:52,720
my chest rising too fast, my breath catching every time

1575
02:02:52,760 --> 02:02:56,159
it hit the back of my throat. I kept looking

1576
02:02:56,199 --> 02:03:00,840
for something, anything I could use. The extinguisher was gone,

1577
02:03:01,399 --> 02:03:04,920
the radio was useless. The fire outside had started to

1578
02:03:04,960 --> 02:03:08,640
smother itself in smoke, but it still burned hot along

1579
02:03:08,680 --> 02:03:13,119
the south edge just below. Maybe I could time it,

1580
02:03:13,600 --> 02:03:16,439
wait until the thing was close enough, and then shove

1581
02:03:16,520 --> 02:03:20,039
something heavy down, knock it off the ladder. It had

1582
02:03:20,119 --> 02:03:23,039
fall a long way, bounce off every steel bar on

1583
02:03:23,079 --> 02:03:26,439
the way down. Maybe the fire would finish the job.

1584
02:03:27,880 --> 02:03:31,119
But what the hell did I have to use? The

1585
02:03:31,199 --> 02:03:34,279
chair wouldn't fit through the hatch, and even if it did,

1586
02:03:34,680 --> 02:03:36,960
I wasn't strong enough to swing it without the thing

1587
02:03:37,039 --> 02:03:41,520
grabbing me first. My rucksack was too soft, and the

1588
02:03:41,600 --> 02:03:45,880
toolbox was bolted to the floor and had nothing solid enough,

1589
02:03:46,279 --> 02:03:50,520
nothing sharp enough, nothing that wouldn't guarantee it tore through

1590
02:03:50,560 --> 02:03:55,039
me before I got the chance to lift it. The

1591
02:03:55,159 --> 02:03:59,880
truth hit me then, real and raw. There was no

1592
02:04:00,359 --> 02:04:05,159
fighting this thing head on. I raised my bottle again,

1593
02:04:05,560 --> 02:04:08,560
hands trembling, and took a swig in hopes it would

1594
02:04:08,560 --> 02:04:14,279
calm my nerves. But the second the liquor hit my tongue,

1595
02:04:14,560 --> 02:04:19,760
I stopped, my jaw clenched. I spat it back into

1596
02:04:19,840 --> 02:04:23,000
the bottle and coughed hard. Then stared at the bottle

1597
02:04:23,039 --> 02:04:27,119
in my hand. There was still at least half left,

1598
02:04:27,880 --> 02:04:32,640
and for the first time I really looked at it,

1599
02:04:32,640 --> 02:04:38,199
it was flammable. I held the glass tighter. Could I

1600
02:04:39,000 --> 02:04:43,479
would that work? I'd seen molotops and movies through broken

1601
02:04:43,560 --> 02:04:46,720
up riots on the news. I remember seeing tom kits

1602
02:04:46,760 --> 02:04:52,439
and balaclavas throwing them at squad cars. It was just alcohol, right,

1603
02:04:53,439 --> 02:04:56,600
something strong with a rag and a flame. Was it

1604
02:04:56,680 --> 02:05:01,439
that simple to make one? Would it explode spurn? Could

1605
02:05:01,479 --> 02:05:04,039
I even get it lit fast enough before I blew up?

1606
02:05:05,640 --> 02:05:08,640
I pulled a lighter from my pocket. I'd swiped it

1607
02:05:08,680 --> 02:05:11,079
from Kyle earlier in the week when he left it

1608
02:05:11,119 --> 02:05:14,359
on the trailer step. It had a scratched up image

1609
02:05:14,359 --> 02:05:18,560
of a girl in bikini, all glossy lipped. I hadn't

1610
02:05:18,560 --> 02:05:21,039
meant to keep it, but it reminded me of the

1611
02:05:21,039 --> 02:05:24,199
old lighters from the early two thousands, and I had

1612
02:05:24,239 --> 02:05:29,000
lost mine earlier. For the first time since this all started,

1613
02:05:29,680 --> 02:05:34,239
a plan began to form. Not a good one, but

1614
02:05:34,359 --> 02:05:40,760
it was something okay, I whispered to myself. I pulled

1615
02:05:40,800 --> 02:05:43,359
the flannel from my rugsack and dug a knife from

1616
02:05:43,399 --> 02:05:46,560
the side pocket off my bag. I hagged a strip

1617
02:05:46,560 --> 02:05:48,920
from the tail of it and jammed it into the

1618
02:05:48,960 --> 02:05:51,680
mouth of the bottle, pushing it down far enough to

1619
02:05:51,760 --> 02:05:55,800
soak up the whiskey. I tilted the bottle, watching the

1620
02:05:55,840 --> 02:05:59,479
liquor run down the cloth, watching it darken and cling.

1621
02:06:01,239 --> 02:06:04,760
I heard it get closer. Its screaming got louder and

1622
02:06:04,840 --> 02:06:08,840
louder as it pulled itself up. I would have to

1623
02:06:08,880 --> 02:06:13,880
work quickly. I fumbled with the lighter. My fingers were

1624
02:06:13,920 --> 02:06:16,600
too wet and shaky to keep it alight long enough.

1625
02:06:17,399 --> 02:06:19,239
I drer ub it on my pants to get dry

1626
02:06:19,359 --> 02:06:25,199
enough to catch. Small but steady. The flame bloomed. Then

1627
02:06:25,199 --> 02:06:29,159
I turned to the hatch. I flung it open and

1628
02:06:29,279 --> 02:06:32,319
leaned out, nearly gagging from the heat and smoke that

1629
02:06:32,479 --> 02:06:37,079
rolled back in. I looked down and saw it very close.

1630
02:06:38,199 --> 02:06:42,640
It would be up in minutes. My hands moved before

1631
02:06:42,680 --> 02:06:45,880
I could think. I held the lighter to the soaked cloth.

1632
02:06:46,640 --> 02:06:51,039
The flame caught fast, rushing up the rag. Come on,

1633
02:06:51,680 --> 02:06:59,640
I whispered. I raised the bottle, aimed, and threw it

1634
02:06:59,720 --> 02:07:05,279
fell for maybe two seconds. That was all. Then it

1635
02:07:05,399 --> 02:07:09,640
exploded against the side of the creature's skull. The glass

1636
02:07:09,640 --> 02:07:13,960
shattered and flames surged. The whiskey caught and ran down

1637
02:07:14,039 --> 02:07:17,439
its neck and shoulders in rivulets, clinging to the skin

1638
02:07:17,640 --> 02:07:22,079
like oil, and the fire soon followed it. The windyghost

1639
02:07:22,119 --> 02:07:26,000
screamed a high, gurgling howl that punched up and bounced

1640
02:07:26,039 --> 02:07:30,600
off my CAB's walls, burst in my ear drums. I watched,

1641
02:07:31,119 --> 02:07:35,560
terrified as it slipped, caught itself again, and clung tight.

1642
02:07:36,840 --> 02:07:40,760
The fire didn't stop. The flames crawled over its back,

1643
02:07:41,159 --> 02:07:45,960
igniting it all over. He shrieked again, and I held

1644
02:07:45,960 --> 02:07:49,359
the edge of the hatch with both hands, knuckles white,

1645
02:07:49,399 --> 02:07:53,279
praying it would let go. It looked like it might

1646
02:07:53,319 --> 02:07:56,880
climb through the fire, Like nothing could stop it. For

1647
02:07:56,920 --> 02:08:00,560
a second, it just hung there, limbs twitching and every

1648
02:08:00,600 --> 02:08:05,479
tendon stretched and screaming. One hand lost this grip first,

1649
02:08:05,880 --> 02:08:10,359
then the other. The leg slid off the rail, and then,

1650
02:08:11,000 --> 02:08:17,239
like something snapping loose in its mind, it dropped. I

1651
02:08:17,319 --> 02:08:20,359
watched it fall. Its limbs caught the steel on the

1652
02:08:20,399 --> 02:08:25,399
way down, bouncing, spinning rips, snapping loud enough to hear

1653
02:08:25,479 --> 02:08:29,800
through the wind. It cart wheeled end over end, trailing

1654
02:08:29,880 --> 02:08:32,560
smoke and sparks, with the fire still clung to it,

1655
02:08:33,119 --> 02:08:38,159
until it disappeared out of sight. Below. The fire still

1656
02:08:38,199 --> 02:08:42,880
surrounded the steel of my crane, slower, now choking itself

1657
02:08:42,920 --> 02:08:46,239
in its own smoke. I could hear pops from the

1658
02:08:46,279 --> 02:08:49,880
tires going off in the equipment yard, one after another,

1659
02:08:50,399 --> 02:08:55,920
like dull fire crackers, Then just the wind, the creak

1660
02:08:56,000 --> 02:08:59,840
of metal cooling, the low distant whine of something ellectrical

1661
02:09:00,079 --> 02:09:05,319
shorting out. I closed the hatch leaned back with my

1662
02:09:05,359 --> 02:09:10,239
head against the cold wall and let myself shake. Every

1663
02:09:10,359 --> 02:09:13,239
inch of me felt wrung out, like I'd been running

1664
02:09:13,239 --> 02:09:18,079
a fever for hours, and finally crashed. My hands smell

1665
02:09:18,159 --> 02:09:21,399
like burnt cotton and cheap whiskey. My mouth was dry

1666
02:09:21,479 --> 02:09:24,640
enough to crack, and somewhere in the back of my

1667
02:09:24,760 --> 02:09:29,760
mind was the thought I couldn't push down that thing

1668
02:09:30,680 --> 02:09:35,760
might not be dead. I sat there, trying to slow

1669
02:09:35,840 --> 02:09:40,399
my breathing, listening for even the smallest noise. I clang,

1670
02:09:40,640 --> 02:09:49,439
a footfall, anything, Nothing came. I don't know how long

1671
02:09:49,479 --> 02:09:52,439
I sat like that. It could have been five minutes,

1672
02:09:52,720 --> 02:09:56,640
it could have been fifty. Time didn't matter much after

1673
02:09:56,680 --> 02:10:00,319
what I just lived through. My thoughts started to drift

1674
02:10:00,319 --> 02:10:07,560
again to Ellie, don't get eaten, Dad, God, what would

1675
02:10:07,560 --> 02:10:10,880
she think if she knew how close I came? Maybe

1676
02:10:10,880 --> 02:10:14,960
I'd win some Farther of the Year award. The glow

1677
02:10:15,039 --> 02:10:19,000
had shifted from violent to tired. A dark smoke column

1678
02:10:19,039 --> 02:10:22,760
stretched into the sky like a signal flare. Any one

1679
02:10:22,840 --> 02:10:27,039
within twenty miles would see it. Maybe someone already had

1680
02:10:27,800 --> 02:10:31,760
a ranger, another sight hell. One of the worker's families

1681
02:10:31,800 --> 02:10:35,600
might have called in when they didn't check in. Emergency

1682
02:10:35,680 --> 02:10:38,479
crews had to be on their way. They had to be.

1683
02:10:39,840 --> 02:10:43,119
I just had to wait, just had to stay awake.

1684
02:10:44,720 --> 02:10:47,920
I pulled my coat tighter and curled into the corner

1685
02:10:47,960 --> 02:10:52,159
of the cab, watching the hatch until my eyes burned.

1686
02:10:55,640 --> 02:10:58,439
The sky was beginning to lighten when I heard the

1687
02:10:58,520 --> 02:11:03,079
first sirens. It was faint at first, just to rise

1688
02:11:03,119 --> 02:11:06,520
and fall in the wind, but enough to jomp me upright.

1689
02:11:07,680 --> 02:11:11,119
My back cracked from being hunched too long. I crawled

1690
02:11:11,159 --> 02:11:14,760
to the window and pressed my forehead against the cold glass.

1691
02:11:15,720 --> 02:11:19,520
Flashing lights cut through the trees below, bouncing off smoke

1692
02:11:19,560 --> 02:11:23,560
and debris. A few figures in Hive's jackets moved through

1693
02:11:23,560 --> 02:11:27,439
the wreckage with flashlights and radios. I could see a

1694
02:11:27,479 --> 02:11:30,560
fire crew trying to smother the remaining flames, and some

1695
02:11:30,560 --> 02:11:34,239
one pointing toward the base of the crane, but none

1696
02:11:34,239 --> 02:11:38,079
of them logged up. Once I was sure it was safe,

1697
02:11:38,399 --> 02:11:41,880
I grabbed the hatch handle and stared down. The still

1698
02:11:42,000 --> 02:11:45,880
rungs dropped away beneath me, some slick wid dew and ash.

1699
02:11:46,319 --> 02:11:50,880
The whole ladder felt smaller now. The first few rungs

1700
02:11:50,880 --> 02:11:55,119
were agony. My knees were jelly. My palms slipped twice,

1701
02:11:55,479 --> 02:11:58,680
and each time my froze and clung tight, breathing so

1702
02:11:58,960 --> 02:12:02,960
fast I fell like I might pass out. I forced

1703
02:12:03,000 --> 02:12:09,199
myself to count ten rungs, pause, ten more. When I

1704
02:12:09,239 --> 02:12:13,800
was maybe halfway down, one of the responders looked up, Hey,

1705
02:12:14,119 --> 02:12:20,399
we got someone on the tower. Voices multiplied, lights turned upward,

1706
02:12:20,720 --> 02:12:25,520
suddenly blinding. A paramedic ran to the base, radio in hand,

1707
02:12:25,760 --> 02:12:31,199
calling for a backboard. Another firefighter moved beneath me, arms raised,

1708
02:12:31,199 --> 02:12:34,680
like you could catch me if I slipped. I kept

1709
02:12:34,720 --> 02:12:41,640
going ten, then five, then three, and finally boots on

1710
02:12:41,840 --> 02:12:47,239
solid ground. The second I touched down, my legs went out.

1711
02:12:48,159 --> 02:12:51,239
They caught me before I fell completely, but I hit

1712
02:12:51,279 --> 02:12:56,800
my knees anyway, coughing and trembling. I remember someone shouting

1713
02:12:56,840 --> 02:13:00,680
for oxygen, a hand on my shoulder, and a warm blanket.

1714
02:13:01,760 --> 02:13:04,199
But all I could do was look past them toward

1715
02:13:04,239 --> 02:13:09,079
the base of the ladder. It was there, crumbled in

1716
02:13:09,119 --> 02:13:15,079
the gravel and steel debris, a blackened body, long, twisted

1717
02:13:15,119 --> 02:13:18,960
and curled. The antlers had chatted against the lower bar.

1718
02:13:19,640 --> 02:13:23,399
One leg was missing entirely. The flesh a gun waxy

1719
02:13:23,439 --> 02:13:28,479
and gray, fused to the bone. It wasn't moving, It

1720
02:13:28,479 --> 02:13:32,680
would never move again. One of the crews stepped into

1721
02:13:32,680 --> 02:13:37,000
my line of sight, blocking the thing from view. We

1722
02:13:37,079 --> 02:13:41,279
didn't know anyone was still up there, he said, gently, crouching,

1723
02:13:42,079 --> 02:13:49,039
real lucky. I shook my head, voice horse, not lock,

1724
02:13:49,760 --> 02:13:58,840
I said, just fire. He didn't get it. That was fine.

1725
02:13:59,039 --> 02:14:01,720
I let them lift me under the stretcher and wheeled

1726
02:14:01,760 --> 02:14:05,119
me toward the waiting rig. I got a good look

1727
02:14:05,119 --> 02:14:08,039
at the damage the fire had caused, and they loaded

1728
02:14:08,079 --> 02:14:11,239
me up. And reached into my jacket and felt the

1729
02:14:11,359 --> 02:14:14,920
edge of the book still tucked there, and I rubbed

1730
02:14:15,039 --> 02:14:31,039
the lucky yellow sticky note between my fingers License and registration.

1731
02:14:32,640 --> 02:14:36,119
The driver flinched, blinked a few times, and scrambled for

1732
02:14:36,199 --> 02:14:40,399
the glove box. He panicked, missed the latch. When he

1733
02:14:40,479 --> 02:14:44,039
finally opened it, papers spilled out, and he sat there

1734
02:14:44,119 --> 02:14:49,239
frozen before scooping them up. I've been a police officer

1735
02:14:49,279 --> 02:14:53,000
for two decades. Night shifts out in the country usually

1736
02:14:53,039 --> 02:14:56,159
meant nothing more than drunk drivers, runaways from one of

1737
02:14:56,159 --> 02:14:59,760
the nearby shelters, or coyote calls from ranchers with loose

1738
02:14:59,800 --> 02:15:03,359
fig It was rare for anything to linger in my

1739
02:15:03,439 --> 02:15:06,960
mind after a shift ended. Most of it was the

1740
02:15:07,000 --> 02:15:13,439
same monotony, repeated again and again. But that night was different.

1741
02:15:14,760 --> 02:15:18,920
That one etched itself in slow, vivid pieces. I still

1742
02:15:18,920 --> 02:15:22,920
haven't managed to fully pull apart. The moon had been

1743
02:15:23,039 --> 02:15:27,600
high and full, casting a silver wash over everything. I

1744
02:15:27,680 --> 02:15:31,199
was parked off country Road eight, half asleep when a

1745
02:15:31,279 --> 02:15:34,279
car zoomed past me, going at least two times the

1746
02:15:34,319 --> 02:15:38,199
speed limit. I sighed and figured it was just another

1747
02:15:38,239 --> 02:15:42,840
guy out too late, probably drinking. I flipped my lights

1748
02:15:42,880 --> 02:15:45,720
on and found them pulled over near the bend without

1749
02:15:45,840 --> 02:15:50,920
much resistance. I walked up to the driver's side. The

1750
02:15:50,960 --> 02:15:55,760
car was an old Toyota, probably early two thousands, primer

1751
02:15:55,840 --> 02:16:01,359
patches and the fender muffler rattling. Both men inside looked wrecked.

1752
02:16:02,439 --> 02:16:05,039
The driver was gripping the wheel hard enough that I

1753
02:16:05,079 --> 02:16:08,880
could see the tenon pushing veins through the skin. His

1754
02:16:09,039 --> 02:16:12,880
hair was flattened with sweat. The guy in the passenger

1755
02:16:12,920 --> 02:16:19,640
seat stared forward, not blinking, hands in his lap. That's

1756
02:16:20,000 --> 02:16:24,279
where it all began. The driver handed me his license

1757
02:16:24,319 --> 02:16:27,960
with both hands. Finally, his voice cracked when he spoke,

1758
02:16:29,439 --> 02:16:33,639
can you give us a fine? Anything? Please? We really

1759
02:16:34,520 --> 02:16:40,079
we just need to go. I ignore the nagging, and he said,

1760
02:16:40,200 --> 02:16:44,040
asked what I always ask. Have you two been drinking?

1761
02:16:45,799 --> 02:16:49,879
They both answered, but not together. They looked at each other,

1762
02:16:49,959 --> 02:16:53,879
first silently, like they were trying to argue how much

1763
02:16:53,920 --> 02:16:58,879
to admit. Then the driver said no. Passenger echoed it,

1764
02:16:59,399 --> 02:17:04,239
his voice and scratchy. I looked them both over again.

1765
02:17:05,879 --> 02:17:08,959
All right, I'm going to run your information turn the

1766
02:17:09,040 --> 02:17:14,799
vehicle off for me. The driver hesitated, but ultimately killed

1767
02:17:14,799 --> 02:17:19,319
the ignition. I returned to my cruiser and ran the

1768
02:17:19,360 --> 02:17:24,600
plate in driver's name. Nothing suspicious, nothing at all. Actually,

1769
02:17:25,680 --> 02:17:29,120
the owner of the vehicle matched the driver. Everything came

1770
02:17:29,200 --> 02:17:33,360
back clean. When I returned to their window, they had

1771
02:17:33,399 --> 02:17:37,879
gotten significantly worse. The driver's head was twitching toward his

1772
02:17:37,959 --> 02:17:42,719
shoulder every few seconds, like a muscle spasm. The passenger

1773
02:17:42,920 --> 02:17:46,959
was in a similar condition. When the driver spoke again,

1774
02:17:47,559 --> 02:17:50,360
his voice had a strain that sounded close to breaking.

1775
02:17:51,879 --> 02:17:56,040
You don't understand. We have to go. We're out of time, sir.

1776
02:17:56,639 --> 02:18:01,440
Can we just go now? When I started getting angry,

1777
02:18:02,920 --> 02:18:08,159
everyone always at somewhere to go. It gets old. I

1778
02:18:08,239 --> 02:18:10,159
told him to keep his hands on the wheel and

1779
02:18:10,200 --> 02:18:13,840
to relax. This doesn't have to be a big thing.

1780
02:18:14,559 --> 02:18:18,479
You listen, I listen. You're making this worse by acting jumpy.

1781
02:18:19,040 --> 02:18:21,520
I'm going too easy to perform a field sobriety test

1782
02:18:21,600 --> 02:18:26,280
for me. The driver's eyes darted to the mirror and

1783
02:18:26,360 --> 02:18:29,879
then to the trees ahead. His leg was bouncing, now,

1784
02:18:30,360 --> 02:18:35,159
heel thumping against the floorboard. We don't have time, please.

1785
02:18:36,319 --> 02:18:39,559
I took a deep breath, stepped back, and started a

1786
02:18:39,680 --> 02:18:42,040
circle toward the back of the vehicle to get them out.

1787
02:18:43,840 --> 02:18:47,639
That was when the engine roared to life again. Tires

1788
02:18:47,680 --> 02:18:51,280
screamed against the dirt shoulder as they shot forward, fish

1789
02:18:51,319 --> 02:18:54,760
tailing back onto the road and vanishing around the bend.

1790
02:18:56,959 --> 02:19:01,360
I stood there for a second, blinking. My first thought was,

1791
02:19:02,159 --> 02:19:06,000
what the hell are you running from? I sprinted to

1792
02:19:06,040 --> 02:19:08,760
the cruiser through the door open and called it in.

1793
02:19:10,479 --> 02:19:14,040
This is Unit eighteen. We got a ten eighty fleeing vehicle,

1794
02:19:14,280 --> 02:19:18,559
silver Tiota heading eastbound on Country Road eight two occupants.

1795
02:19:18,680 --> 02:19:23,399
I'm in pursuit. The tires back gravel as I pulled

1796
02:19:23,399 --> 02:19:26,840
out onto the road behind them. The moon followed us,

1797
02:19:26,879 --> 02:19:32,239
both glaring and wide. The car struggled to hold a line.

1798
02:19:32,719 --> 02:19:35,319
It swerved out of its lane every time the tires

1799
02:19:35,360 --> 02:19:39,840
gripped over, corrected and skidded. The tail lights bounced in

1800
02:19:39,920 --> 02:19:43,120
and out of view. Ahead of me. Ahead of us

1801
02:19:43,280 --> 02:19:50,159
was a wooden sign camp Winding Pines Youth Retreat. The

1802
02:19:50,239 --> 02:19:54,399
trees thinnerhead and the gravel turned a soft earth. My

1803
02:19:54,479 --> 02:19:56,639
head lights caught the rear of the car as it

1804
02:19:56,719 --> 02:20:00,879
fished out sideways, back tires chewing up dust pine needles.

1805
02:20:01,959 --> 02:20:06,719
The engine revved again, but lost traction entirely. I saw

1806
02:20:06,799 --> 02:20:10,040
the nose of the Tyota swing off the road and

1807
02:20:10,079 --> 02:20:14,079
the whole car vanished through the tree line. A split

1808
02:20:14,159 --> 02:20:18,120
second later, there was the sound of branches snapping and

1809
02:20:18,159 --> 02:20:22,239
a hollow, metallic thud. I hit the brakes and threw

1810
02:20:22,280 --> 02:20:25,600
the cruiser into park. My boot hit the dirt. Before

1811
02:20:25,600 --> 02:20:30,760
I'd finish radioing the update, vehicles crashed east perimeter of

1812
02:20:30,799 --> 02:20:36,719
Winding Pines, approaching scene. Now my blood was hot. My

1813
02:20:36,799 --> 02:20:40,719
thoughts weren't entirely rational, because all I could focus on

1814
02:20:41,040 --> 02:20:43,760
was the fact that they'd gone from a routine stop

1815
02:20:44,040 --> 02:20:48,559
to endangering everyone at that camp and themselves too. I

1816
02:20:48,600 --> 02:20:52,600
pulled the flashlight and unsnapped my pistol holster, just in case.

1817
02:20:53,760 --> 02:20:57,680
People typically get dangerous when cornered, and this is about

1818
02:20:57,680 --> 02:21:00,799
as cornered as you can be. They had to have

1819
02:21:00,840 --> 02:21:04,719
a reason for speeding away like that. The car had

1820
02:21:04,719 --> 02:21:07,799
come to a stop against a thick pine, the front

1821
02:21:07,920 --> 02:21:12,079
end crushed in but not folded. Steam hissed from the hood.

1822
02:21:12,680 --> 02:21:15,760
A branch had punched through the back window and scattered

1823
02:21:15,760 --> 02:21:19,600
glass across the back seat. Put your hands where I

1824
02:21:19,639 --> 02:21:25,639
can see them, I shouted, no movement. I approached the

1825
02:21:25,719 --> 02:21:30,040
driver's side, light cutting through the cabin. The driver's air

1826
02:21:30,079 --> 02:21:33,879
bag had gone off. He was slumped against it, head back,

1827
02:21:34,159 --> 02:21:37,440
mouth open. A thin line of blood ran from his

1828
02:21:37,479 --> 02:21:42,639
eyebrow to his cheek. He was breathing. I swung the

1829
02:21:42,680 --> 02:21:46,200
beam to the passenger side. The guy in the passenger

1830
02:21:46,239 --> 02:21:50,760
seat hadn't survived. His arms were bent under him and

1831
02:21:50,840 --> 02:21:53,479
his legs were angled against the passenger's side seat and

1832
02:21:53,520 --> 02:21:57,559
away I didn't think was even possible. The neck hung

1833
02:21:57,600 --> 02:22:01,159
off his collar, bone head tipped unnatched with a jaw

1834
02:22:01,239 --> 02:22:07,399
slack and lopsided. It was a grotesque scene. That's when

1835
02:22:07,399 --> 02:22:11,559
the driver gasped awake. He fought with the seatbelt for

1836
02:22:11,600 --> 02:22:15,120
a second, then shoved the door open, landing on all

1837
02:22:15,200 --> 02:22:18,799
fours in the dirt. I stepped up fast and pointed

1838
02:22:18,840 --> 02:22:22,159
the flashlight at him. What the hell do you think

1839
02:22:22,159 --> 02:22:24,399
you were doing? You ran from a stop and killed

1840
02:22:24,399 --> 02:22:30,479
your friend over what? He didn't answer, He didn't even

1841
02:22:30,559 --> 02:22:34,760
look at me. He rolled onto his back, eyes skyward,

1842
02:22:35,319 --> 02:22:39,280
then suddenly turned over again and started scrambling to his feet.

1843
02:22:40,200 --> 02:22:43,559
I grabbed for his wrist, but he tore away, stumbling

1844
02:22:43,600 --> 02:22:47,719
once before crashing into the tree line. God damn it,

1845
02:22:48,200 --> 02:22:52,600
I snarled and ran after him. Low branches clawed up

1846
02:22:52,639 --> 02:22:56,200
my shirt. Pine needles filled my boots. The sound of

1847
02:22:56,280 --> 02:22:59,959
him moving ahead wasn't fast or steady. He was desperate

1848
02:23:00,120 --> 02:23:03,719
and clumsy. I caught up to him nearer slope with

1849
02:23:03,920 --> 02:23:07,680
a tree cover thickened. He was crouched with one hand

1850
02:23:07,680 --> 02:23:10,360
pressed to the dirt and the other to his chest,

1851
02:23:10,719 --> 02:23:15,120
trying to breathe. Sweat poured off him in waves, soaking

1852
02:23:15,159 --> 02:23:18,719
through the collar of his shirt and streaking down his arms.

1853
02:23:19,319 --> 02:23:24,159
His pupils were huge, swallowing almost all the color. I

1854
02:23:24,200 --> 02:23:26,520
grabbed him by the elbow and pinned him against the

1855
02:23:26,559 --> 02:23:31,520
pine trunk. Hey, are you on something? You high? I

1856
02:23:31,559 --> 02:23:35,159
held my grip and locked him over again. His pulse

1857
02:23:35,239 --> 02:23:39,319
was racing under my thumb. You need narkan, tell me now.

1858
02:23:41,200 --> 02:23:44,440
He didn't answer right away, and people that need narkan

1859
02:23:44,920 --> 02:23:49,000
usually never do. His mouth open and close a few

1860
02:23:49,040 --> 02:23:53,639
times before anything came out. What did make it out

1861
02:23:54,399 --> 02:24:00,719
didn't make sense. Listen you, if you just if you

1862
02:24:00,840 --> 02:24:06,680
hide now, maybe I won't know you are nearby. I'd

1863
02:24:06,680 --> 02:24:11,520
seen overdoses before, plenty of them. Some twitch and mutter,

1864
02:24:12,079 --> 02:24:16,159
others go still and drop. This looked like the textbook

1865
02:24:16,200 --> 02:24:20,079
interpretation of a situation. When Narkin was to be administered

1866
02:24:20,079 --> 02:24:23,520
at AESAP, I told him to stay with me and

1867
02:24:23,639 --> 02:24:27,879
started guiding him back the way we came. He walked

1868
02:24:27,879 --> 02:24:31,559
with me, barely. It almost seemed like he was trying

1869
02:24:31,559 --> 02:24:35,600
to fight my grip, but he was too weak. He

1870
02:24:35,680 --> 02:24:38,840
dragged his feet and his breath scraped through his throat,

1871
02:24:39,360 --> 02:24:43,760
eyes darting wildly. We made it to the tree line

1872
02:24:44,079 --> 02:24:47,520
and I got him to the cruiser. The back seat

1873
02:24:47,600 --> 02:24:51,239
was clean. I helped him in, closed the door, and

1874
02:24:51,319 --> 02:24:57,040
stepped back. I reached for the radio on my shoulder. Despatch,

1875
02:24:57,200 --> 02:25:00,559
there's is Unit eighteen. I've got one fatality the crash

1876
02:25:00,600 --> 02:25:05,239
sight and one possible overdose suspect. His incoherent requesting e

1877
02:25:05,399 --> 02:25:09,600
MS priority. I went around to the front of the

1878
02:25:09,639 --> 02:25:12,840
cruiser and opened the glove box, pulled the knark and

1879
02:25:12,959 --> 02:25:17,799
kit free checked the spray, and turned back. The shouting

1880
02:25:17,879 --> 02:25:22,719
coming from the back of the vehicle stopped me. It

1881
02:25:22,840 --> 02:25:28,799
was a low, thick, clicking sound, almost like wretching, but wetter.

1882
02:25:30,360 --> 02:25:33,159
I stepped around and aimed the flashlight at the rear window.

1883
02:25:34,559 --> 02:25:37,719
He was shaking. His whole body was moving with these

1884
02:25:37,760 --> 02:25:41,719
wild spasms, his limbs flailing against the seat and his

1885
02:25:41,879 --> 02:25:47,399
jaw snapping open and shut. He started to break apart.

1886
02:25:48,760 --> 02:25:52,120
It began at the arms, skin pulling apart in long,

1887
02:25:52,319 --> 02:25:57,959
wet lines. Muscles swelled underneath it, raw and coiled, growing outward.

1888
02:25:58,799 --> 02:26:02,399
Thick strands of fur pushed through the seams. His shirt

1889
02:26:02,479 --> 02:26:05,159
tore open at the chest, then peeled away as his

1890
02:26:05,200 --> 02:26:10,520
shoulders expended. Bones cracked and reset themselves. I heard them go,

1891
02:26:10,760 --> 02:26:15,120
one at a time, snapping like twigs under foot. His

1892
02:26:15,239 --> 02:26:18,840
mouth opened in a silent scream, and a second row

1893
02:26:18,840 --> 02:26:21,799
of fangs pushed out of his gums, while the original

1894
02:26:21,840 --> 02:26:26,040
teeth dropped into his lap. His face stretched forward as

1895
02:26:26,079 --> 02:26:30,559
the skull reshaped, eye suckets shifting as they sat further apart.

1896
02:26:31,520 --> 02:26:35,440
A snout forced its way forward, the cartilage crunching as

1897
02:26:35,479 --> 02:26:40,719
it grew. The cruiser exploded outward as it launched itself

1898
02:26:40,760 --> 02:26:44,280
through the window. The back half of the car ripped open.

1899
02:26:44,840 --> 02:26:49,200
Metals screamed, and plastic shattered. I staggered back and drew

1900
02:26:49,200 --> 02:26:55,319
my side arm, took aim and fired one, two, three.

1901
02:26:55,879 --> 02:26:59,680
The shots hit they had to have. I saw dark

1902
02:26:59,719 --> 02:27:05,280
burst bloomed through the fir, but it didn't drop. It

1903
02:27:05,360 --> 02:27:11,719
didn't even flinch. Then it started moving. Its nose twitched,

1904
02:27:12,079 --> 02:27:15,719
turning toward the direction of the camp. There was a

1905
02:27:15,760 --> 02:27:19,079
noise off in the distance, somewhere far beyond the trees.

1906
02:27:20,239 --> 02:27:25,399
It sounded like a bell or something similar. It heard it,

1907
02:27:26,159 --> 02:27:32,159
and it started running toward the youth camp. Its whole

1908
02:27:32,159 --> 02:27:35,840
body dropped low, and it moved on all fours, fast

1909
02:27:35,879 --> 02:27:39,799
and lopping. Each stride pushed it deeper into the woods

1910
02:27:40,280 --> 02:27:44,120
until I couldn't see it anymore. I stood in front

1911
02:27:44,120 --> 02:27:46,479
of the scene I just witnessed with my gun stallop

1912
02:27:46,920 --> 02:27:50,920
frozen in time. I raised the radio to my mouth

1913
02:27:50,959 --> 02:27:55,040
with a hand that wouldn't stay still. My finger hesitated

1914
02:27:55,040 --> 02:27:59,959
on the transmit button because I didn't know what to say.

1915
02:27:59,840 --> 02:28:02,719
My head was still ringing, but that wasn't why my

1916
02:28:02,799 --> 02:28:09,959
voice came out unsteady. This is Unit eighteen. I paused

1917
02:28:10,040 --> 02:28:13,799
and tried again. Someone is heading toward Camp Winding Pines,

1918
02:28:14,440 --> 02:28:19,159
a big, heavily armed. I think my vehicle is destroyed,

1919
02:28:19,440 --> 02:28:22,680
and he ran off toward the camp. I need back

1920
02:28:22,760 --> 02:28:30,000
up now, emergency priority. The reply didn't take long. Copy

1921
02:28:30,040 --> 02:28:33,200
that Unit eighteen. The nearest support is sixty minutes out.

1922
02:28:33,600 --> 02:28:38,719
Trapper sport is unavailable. Do you need medical? I stared

1923
02:28:38,760 --> 02:28:42,479
at the ruined back of my cruiser. I didn't waste

1924
02:28:42,479 --> 02:28:46,000
time trying to rationalize what I'd seen. If I stood

1925
02:28:46,000 --> 02:28:50,399
there thinking about it, I wasn't going to move. I

1926
02:28:50,520 --> 02:28:57,000
keyed the mic again, negative, unmed. I'm going in. I

1927
02:28:57,079 --> 02:29:00,399
let the radio fall back to my shoulder, then toward

1928
02:29:00,440 --> 02:29:04,840
the trunk. It took some force the pride open. The

1929
02:29:04,879 --> 02:29:08,680
frame had twisted when the back exploded out. I grabbed

1930
02:29:08,680 --> 02:29:11,559
the shotgun from inside, racked it to make sure it

1931
02:29:11,719 --> 02:29:14,319
was live and check the sling for rounds. I kept

1932
02:29:14,360 --> 02:29:17,719
clipped in a side pouch. I jogged up the trail,

1933
02:29:17,959 --> 02:29:20,719
following the dirt where its weight had torn into the soil.

1934
02:29:21,879 --> 02:29:25,079
They were wide at the front and dragged behind, deep

1935
02:29:25,159 --> 02:29:27,520
enough to catch a boot heel and trip someone if

1936
02:29:27,559 --> 02:29:32,040
they weren't careful. Up ahead, tucked behind a split rail

1937
02:29:32,120 --> 02:29:35,840
fence with a cheap floodlight flickering against the roof, I

1938
02:29:35,879 --> 02:29:39,360
went up and knocked hard against the window. A man

1939
02:29:39,399 --> 02:29:43,000
inside jolted awake and nearly spilled the styrophron cup from

1940
02:29:43,040 --> 02:29:46,159
the desk. I raised my badge before he had any

1941
02:29:46,280 --> 02:29:51,239
chance to say anything. Police Officer Dunley, something's loose in

1942
02:29:51,280 --> 02:29:54,319
the camp. I need you with me. Are you armed?

1943
02:29:56,159 --> 02:29:58,840
He blinked at me, still half way out of sleep,

1944
02:29:59,159 --> 02:30:05,360
then nodded, yeah, what's going on. There's something in the camp.

1945
02:30:05,680 --> 02:30:10,200
I don't know what, but the kids aren't safe. He

1946
02:30:10,239 --> 02:30:13,079
stared at me a second longer, and I could see

1947
02:30:13,120 --> 02:30:17,040
the disbelief behind his eyes. But a moment later he

1948
02:30:17,120 --> 02:30:19,920
opened the drawer and pulled out a pistol, tucked it

1949
02:30:20,000 --> 02:30:23,040
into a hip holster, and locked the door behind him.

1950
02:30:24,680 --> 02:30:28,639
We started toward the center of the camp. He finally

1951
02:30:28,680 --> 02:30:32,280
spoke behind me, are you going to tell me what

1952
02:30:32,319 --> 02:30:38,479
we're looking for? I didn't stop walking. You wouldn't believe me.

1953
02:30:39,920 --> 02:30:42,799
I just saw a police officer walk out the woods looking, mannic,

1954
02:30:43,399 --> 02:30:47,879
you might be surprised what I'll believe tonight, I didn't answer.

1955
02:30:48,879 --> 02:30:52,680
He picked up his pace to match mine. The kids

1956
02:30:52,840 --> 02:30:56,920
they're all inside right now, I asked, Yeah, we just

1957
02:30:56,959 --> 02:31:00,200
got here today. I drove the kids here most they're

1958
02:31:00,239 --> 02:31:03,959
probably asleep, staffed as lights out around ten. It's a

1959
02:31:04,000 --> 02:31:06,479
full week retreat. They get the run of the place

1960
02:31:06,520 --> 02:31:11,440
during the day, bonfires, archery, swimming, all that. At night.

1961
02:31:11,799 --> 02:31:18,040
The suppose the staying cabins. What's out here? I didn't

1962
02:31:18,040 --> 02:31:21,799
have answers. Every question he asked was something I had

1963
02:31:21,799 --> 02:31:26,319
already tried to ask myself and come up short. After

1964
02:31:26,360 --> 02:31:28,959
a while, I raised the hand and told him to

1965
02:31:29,000 --> 02:31:34,000
stop asking so many questions I didn't know. We cleared

1966
02:31:34,000 --> 02:31:37,799
the brush line and the tree cover opened. Ahead of

1967
02:31:37,840 --> 02:31:41,200
us was the center trail, wide enough to fit a vehicle.

1968
02:31:42,239 --> 02:31:45,319
On the left, two cabins faced each other across a

1969
02:31:45,360 --> 02:31:48,000
patch of lawn, and at the end of the trail

1970
02:31:48,319 --> 02:31:53,600
angled slightly toward the turnlop was a boss. As we

1971
02:31:53,639 --> 02:31:56,840
approached the cabins, I slowed and lowered the barrel of

1972
02:31:56,840 --> 02:32:01,200
the shotgun. The guard caught up beside me, still scanning

1973
02:32:01,239 --> 02:32:05,079
the dark. Tell me how this place is laid out,

1974
02:32:05,719 --> 02:32:11,159
I said. He glanced around and started pointing. There are

1975
02:32:11,200 --> 02:32:14,520
six cabins in total, all lined up in two rows,

1976
02:32:14,799 --> 02:32:18,040
three on each side. Staff buildings over there, past the

1977
02:32:18,040 --> 02:32:21,159
main trail, near the mess hall. We've got a generator

1978
02:32:21,239 --> 02:32:24,000
shared behind that, and the first aid hut closer to

1979
02:32:24,040 --> 02:32:28,319
the lake. No perimeter fencing, but we've never needed it.

1980
02:32:29,600 --> 02:32:34,600
And inside, I asked, Each cabin's got two rooms, one

1981
02:32:34,639 --> 02:32:37,040
for the kids and one for the staff assigned to them.

1982
02:32:37,719 --> 02:32:40,120
Usually a counselor or a teacher sleeps in the same

1983
02:32:40,200 --> 02:32:45,120
space or the next room. How many in each this

1984
02:32:45,200 --> 02:32:48,719
group is light? Maybe six or seven per right now?

1985
02:32:50,680 --> 02:32:54,319
We stopped outside the nearest door. The building was quiet.

1986
02:32:54,879 --> 02:32:58,159
A single bulb over the entryway flickered but stayed on.

1987
02:32:59,319 --> 02:33:02,399
I looked through the window, nothing but the outline of

1988
02:33:02,440 --> 02:33:07,120
bunks in the dark. Here's what we're doing, I said.

1989
02:33:07,959 --> 02:33:11,200
We go in quiet. Wake the adult first. You help

1990
02:33:11,239 --> 02:33:15,200
them get the kids up, no screaming, no explaining, Tell

1991
02:33:15,200 --> 02:33:18,520
them to head to the bus, stay low, stay quiet.

1992
02:33:19,120 --> 02:33:24,559
Once they're there, they crouched behind it and wait. He

1993
02:33:24,680 --> 02:33:29,360
swallowed hard, then nodded. I pushed the door open. It

1994
02:33:29,479 --> 02:33:32,200
led out a creak, but not enough to wake anyone.

1995
02:33:33,200 --> 02:33:36,159
The air inside was stale, heavy with the warmth of

1996
02:33:36,239 --> 02:33:40,360
sleeping bodies. I moved toward the back, where I could

1997
02:33:40,440 --> 02:33:43,319
make out a single adult figure in the bed along

1998
02:33:43,360 --> 02:33:47,399
the far wall. I leaned in close and shook their shoulder.

1999
02:33:47,479 --> 02:33:53,680
Once they starred and squinted at me. Please stay quiet,

2000
02:33:54,159 --> 02:33:57,840
I whispered, flashing my badge. Wake the kids, get them

2001
02:33:57,920 --> 02:34:00,600
dressed enough to move, Tell them as drill if you

2002
02:34:00,639 --> 02:34:03,879
need to lead them to the bus, and crouched behind it.

2003
02:34:05,479 --> 02:34:08,840
The teacher nodded and sat up fast, already calling out

2004
02:34:08,840 --> 02:34:10,959
in a low voice to the bunk nearest to her.

2005
02:34:11,840 --> 02:34:15,799
The kids began to stir. The next few minutes passed

2006
02:34:15,840 --> 02:34:19,360
without a sound louder than soft shuffling and half whispers.

2007
02:34:20,120 --> 02:34:24,479
The children dressed in silence, the teacher guiding them out

2008
02:34:24,520 --> 02:34:27,440
one by one, leading the group with a hand pressed

2009
02:34:27,440 --> 02:34:30,959
to the wall. I stood at the threshold and watched

2010
02:34:31,040 --> 02:34:34,200
until the last pair ducked into the dark, headed toward

2011
02:34:34,239 --> 02:34:38,040
the bus. The guard moved beside me, his hand on

2012
02:34:38,079 --> 02:34:45,319
his weapon, breathing unevenly. One down. I said, we didn't linger.

2013
02:34:46,000 --> 02:34:50,879
We moved onto the second location. We eased in flashlight low,

2014
02:34:51,239 --> 02:34:55,639
barely tracing the floor. Bunk beds lined both walls. The

2015
02:34:55,719 --> 02:34:59,200
kids in them were out cold, limbs tangled in thin sheets.

2016
02:35:00,040 --> 02:35:02,959
Some are toys on their pillows, shoes beside the frame,

2017
02:35:03,440 --> 02:35:08,280
an old paperback books slipped beneath mattresses. I stepped between

2018
02:35:08,280 --> 02:35:10,959
two of the beds, careful not to let my boots

2019
02:35:10,959 --> 02:35:15,719
squeak on the waxed floor. No movement, no sounds except

2020
02:35:15,760 --> 02:35:18,840
snoring and the soft click of the cabin window panes

2021
02:35:19,120 --> 02:35:24,559
shifting against the breeze. This cabin was bigger. We woke

2022
02:35:24,639 --> 02:35:27,639
the teacher up, gave them the same commands, and got

2023
02:35:27,760 --> 02:35:31,479
under way to the next room. In the third room,

2024
02:35:31,719 --> 02:35:35,200
it was the same drill on the fourth one. However,

2025
02:35:35,799 --> 02:35:39,399
the door's base had visible claw marks on it. I

2026
02:35:39,520 --> 02:35:42,079
motioned to the guard and we took our positions on

2027
02:35:42,159 --> 02:35:47,639
either side. I opened it slowly. I could feel it

2028
02:35:47,719 --> 02:35:52,040
before we even stepped inside, a drop in the air pressure.

2029
02:35:53,120 --> 02:35:57,239
My flashlights scanned the bunks. Kids were asleep, and I

2030
02:35:57,319 --> 02:36:02,040
kept scanning the room looking for anything. The security behind

2031
02:36:02,040 --> 02:36:05,079
me that had an audible gulp and touched my shoulder.

2032
02:36:06,399 --> 02:36:09,159
I turned to look at him, but he didn't speak.

2033
02:36:10,559 --> 02:36:15,799
He pointed up above us, pressed against the beams between

2034
02:36:15,840 --> 02:36:21,799
the rafters who was watching. Its claws were buried in

2035
02:36:21,799 --> 02:36:25,600
the wood, six of them spread outward to anchor its weight.

2036
02:36:26,639 --> 02:36:30,239
The arms were stretched long and sinewy joints bowed out

2037
02:36:30,360 --> 02:36:34,879
in unnatural angles. Its stomach rose and fell with short breaths.

2038
02:36:35,600 --> 02:36:39,639
Mucus hung from its mouth in strands. Its chest was

2039
02:36:39,680 --> 02:36:43,479
still wet from the transformation. Patches of firm matted to

2040
02:36:43,559 --> 02:36:48,680
beare swollen muscle. It stared at the smallest bed in

2041
02:36:48,719 --> 02:36:52,040
the room. The girl in it had a face turned up,

2042
02:36:52,399 --> 02:36:55,680
breathing through a mouth, one arm hanging over the edge

2043
02:36:55,719 --> 02:37:05,159
of the mattress. I raised the shotgun and fired. The

2044
02:37:05,200 --> 02:37:08,559
blast lit the room in one flash. The slug tore

2045
02:37:08,639 --> 02:37:11,239
through its shoulder, ripping the chunk of its back out.

2046
02:37:12,200 --> 02:37:17,760
It roared no. It screamed something deeper than anything I'd

2047
02:37:17,760 --> 02:37:22,559
ever heard to this day. Kids woke up instantly, and

2048
02:37:22,680 --> 02:37:28,479
chaos erupted. I pumped the shotgun and fired again. This

2049
02:37:28,639 --> 02:37:32,719
time the thing moved. It came down fast, not a fall,

2050
02:37:33,040 --> 02:37:35,200
but a lunge that ripped it free of the ceiling

2051
02:37:35,440 --> 02:37:39,000
and sent pieces of beam flying with it. I tried

2052
02:37:39,000 --> 02:37:41,680
to shoot once more as it hit the floor, But

2053
02:37:41,799 --> 02:37:44,479
before I could even so much as take another step,

2054
02:37:44,920 --> 02:37:47,799
it slammed its arm into my weapon and shattered it

2055
02:37:47,879 --> 02:37:52,719
clean in half. The guards shouted behind me. The monster

2056
02:37:52,840 --> 02:37:55,440
rammed into him and knocked him against the back wall.

2057
02:37:56,440 --> 02:37:59,159
Then it disappeared through the open door in a blur

2058
02:37:59,239 --> 02:38:03,440
of limbs. I stood there, holding the ruined half of

2059
02:38:03,520 --> 02:38:08,719
my shotgun, my arms shaking, lungs heaving. Get the kids

2060
02:38:08,719 --> 02:38:13,680
to the bus, I shouted, turning toward the guard. Now move.

2061
02:38:15,360 --> 02:38:19,040
He stumbled up, paled and wide eyed, but he nodded.

2062
02:38:20,120 --> 02:38:22,639
We yanked open the rest of the doors and started

2063
02:38:22,719 --> 02:38:26,319
dragging everyone awake. Anyone who asked what was going on

2064
02:38:26,399 --> 02:38:31,479
got told to move on. Some listened, some hesitated. I

2065
02:38:31,559 --> 02:38:38,799
shoved them forward. Screaming started in the distance, not children, adults,

2066
02:38:39,520 --> 02:38:43,920
someone farther in the camp, in a separate spot. I

2067
02:38:44,040 --> 02:38:48,520
turned toward it, but didn't move. I couldn't go. If

2068
02:38:48,559 --> 02:38:51,680
I left now, even to try and stop it, the

2069
02:38:51,760 --> 02:38:55,799
kids would be put in danger. Keep them moving, I

2070
02:38:55,879 --> 02:38:58,760
told the guard, Get them to the damn boss. I'll

2071
02:38:58,799 --> 02:39:03,920
follow go. I stayed behind them, waiting for it to

2072
02:39:03,959 --> 02:39:06,799
show again. The only thing I had now was my

2073
02:39:06,920 --> 02:39:10,920
nine millimeter. Nothing worth using, but I had to try.

2074
02:39:12,040 --> 02:39:14,760
The bus came to life, cutting through the noise of

2075
02:39:14,799 --> 02:39:18,920
crying children and panicked adults. The last few teachers climbed on,

2076
02:39:19,319 --> 02:39:22,840
pushing kids down the aisle. I looked out toward the

2077
02:39:22,879 --> 02:39:28,680
woods once more. The trees were quiet, and somehow that

2078
02:39:28,920 --> 02:39:33,159
was worse. I boarded last, and the door slammed shut

2079
02:39:33,239 --> 02:39:37,200
behind me. The guards sat in the driver's seat, white

2080
02:39:37,239 --> 02:39:40,159
knuckled on the wheel, eyes flicking between the road and

2081
02:39:40,200 --> 02:39:45,239
the mirrors. Awoke the aisle, gun drawn, scanning every window.

2082
02:39:46,760 --> 02:39:49,840
The bus groaned as it moved forward. I felt each

2083
02:39:49,879 --> 02:39:53,200
shift in the tires, every bump of dirt and gravel.

2084
02:39:54,479 --> 02:39:57,159
We got back on the road and kept moving at

2085
02:39:57,200 --> 02:40:01,600
a steady pace. I was near the back of the bus,

2086
02:40:01,680 --> 02:40:08,000
facing the left side, and suddenly, through the trees there

2087
02:40:08,040 --> 02:40:13,159
was movement. It was running, keeping up with the bus.

2088
02:40:15,200 --> 02:40:18,079
Its gate was off. One arm hung the limp at

2089
02:40:18,079 --> 02:40:22,239
his side, still dragging the arm I'd hit with a shotgun.

2090
02:40:23,200 --> 02:40:26,399
The other clawed forward with each leap, digging through brush,

2091
02:40:26,680 --> 02:40:31,120
flinging it behind. Its face was set forward, mouth open,

2092
02:40:31,559 --> 02:40:37,479
eyes locked onto the vehicle. I shouted toward the front faster, go,

2093
02:40:37,959 --> 02:40:42,399
don't slow down. The trees gave way to the slope

2094
02:40:42,399 --> 02:40:45,319
that led down toward the bridge. I could feel the

2095
02:40:45,399 --> 02:40:50,120
edge of it coming. It jumped. The impact shook the

2096
02:40:50,280 --> 02:40:54,159
entire frame. The roof blowed inward, and metal popped near

2097
02:40:54,200 --> 02:40:59,079
the rear. Kids screamed in every direction. The bus tilted

2098
02:40:59,079 --> 02:41:03,399
for a moment before rocking back into balance. Something's on

2099
02:41:03,440 --> 02:41:07,040
the roof. There's something on the roof, the guard shouted.

2100
02:41:08,280 --> 02:41:10,559
He slammed the brakes for a second, but the whole

2101
02:41:10,639 --> 02:41:14,600
chassis veered, wheels catching the edge of the bridge. We

2102
02:41:14,719 --> 02:41:18,280
can't swerve, I barked, Keep it straight and we're never

2103
02:41:18,319 --> 02:41:22,879
going over. The buss started to shake again. The weight

2104
02:41:23,000 --> 02:41:26,479
shifted from front to back as the creature moved. You

2105
02:41:26,520 --> 02:41:28,959
could hear the metal strain with every step it took

2106
02:41:29,000 --> 02:41:33,360
across the roof. In a split second, a massive claw

2107
02:41:33,520 --> 02:41:36,879
tore through the ceiling above the driver's seat, ripping down

2108
02:41:37,000 --> 02:41:40,639
clean to the thin steel. The guard didn't even have

2109
02:41:40,719 --> 02:41:44,799
time to scream. The strike came fast, and his head

2110
02:41:44,879 --> 02:41:49,040
separated from his shoulders in a clean diagonal motion. His

2111
02:41:49,159 --> 02:41:53,799
body twitched once, then slumped sideways, arm locked against the wheel.

2112
02:41:54,920 --> 02:41:58,520
The bus tilted hard to the right. Then it flipped.

2113
02:41:59,680 --> 02:42:04,920
Metal tore against pavement. Screams drowned everything. The lights inside

2114
02:42:05,000 --> 02:42:07,840
cut out, and my body slammed into the back seat

2115
02:42:07,879 --> 02:42:12,239
in front of me. I remember the sound of windows shattering,

2116
02:42:12,680 --> 02:42:15,559
a screech of steel folding, and the wet thump of

2117
02:42:15,600 --> 02:42:21,319
bodies hitting the walls. We slid to a stop. Smoke

2118
02:42:21,399 --> 02:42:25,120
seeped in from somewhere behind me. I was on my side,

2119
02:42:25,399 --> 02:42:30,920
face mashed against the wall, and my vision blurred. I

2120
02:42:30,959 --> 02:42:35,840
heard screaming, but not from inside. Through the cracked windshields

2121
02:42:35,879 --> 02:42:40,399
and side panels, I could see it. Its arms had

2122
02:42:40,399 --> 02:42:43,520
wrapped through part of the roof's metal lattice, caught in

2123
02:42:43,559 --> 02:42:47,799
the bend. Its legs thrashed against the air, claws tearing

2124
02:42:47,840 --> 02:42:52,959
through the breeze, searching for traction. It was still attached

2125
02:42:53,000 --> 02:42:56,879
to the bus with its arm. Its other useless arm

2126
02:42:57,000 --> 02:43:00,360
was dangling in the air outside. Its weight was pulling

2127
02:43:00,399 --> 02:43:03,799
the whole vehicle forward. The bus had stopped on the

2128
02:43:03,840 --> 02:43:07,719
slope near the drop. The concrete barrier outside was cracked

2129
02:43:07,760 --> 02:43:14,200
and sunken. If it tipped, we'd go over. The monster

2130
02:43:14,360 --> 02:43:18,600
screamed again, voice roar and furious, spit raining down through

2131
02:43:18,600 --> 02:43:22,520
the cracks. Every time it flailed, the nose of the

2132
02:43:22,559 --> 02:43:26,399
bus dipped a little further down toward the edge. I

2133
02:43:26,440 --> 02:43:31,360
pushed myself up, head swimming. If it kept pulling, the

2134
02:43:31,399 --> 02:43:35,000
bus was going into the river, and we'd go with it.

2135
02:43:36,520 --> 02:43:39,159
I grabbed my pistol from beside me and moved toward

2136
02:43:39,239 --> 02:43:43,200
the front. Every inch I crawled made the bus shift.

2137
02:43:43,719 --> 02:43:47,120
The people around me were mostly unconscious, but were slowly

2138
02:43:47,200 --> 02:43:51,600
stirring awake, causing the bus to list even more. I

2139
02:43:51,639 --> 02:43:54,319
pressed my shoulder to the wall and used the seats

2140
02:43:54,360 --> 02:44:00,200
to guide myself forward. The smoke inside the cabin had thickened.

2141
02:44:00,200 --> 02:44:02,280
The pistol up at an angle from the side of

2142
02:44:02,360 --> 02:44:06,280
one of the cracked windows. Aims sent a mass and

2143
02:44:06,360 --> 02:44:11,319
pulled the trigger until the slide locked back. Countless rounds

2144
02:44:11,360 --> 02:44:17,239
punched through it screamed, head snapping back once, but didn't fall.

2145
02:44:18,680 --> 02:44:24,319
It was completely stuck. I dropped the gun. It was

2146
02:44:24,440 --> 02:44:28,079
useless now. I looked around for anything I could do

2147
02:44:28,239 --> 02:44:32,559
or use. The shattered plastic and hanging wire offered nothing.

2148
02:44:33,520 --> 02:44:37,200
I looked at the front panel by the windshield. There

2149
02:44:37,280 --> 02:44:40,760
was a fire axe mounted. The bus was old, so

2150
02:44:40,920 --> 02:44:44,120
old that it still had a fire axe. The glass

2151
02:44:44,120 --> 02:44:46,559
over the case had already been cracked from the impact.

2152
02:44:47,399 --> 02:44:50,520
I slammed my elbow into it and broke through. My

2153
02:44:50,639 --> 02:44:54,120
fingers wrapped around the handle, and I yanked it free.

2154
02:44:54,479 --> 02:44:57,520
The blade looked older than me, but it was solid.

2155
02:44:58,360 --> 02:45:02,280
I didn't have time to second guess. I crawled the

2156
02:45:02,360 --> 02:45:06,639
last few feet, pushing through snap sat supports and shattered glass.

2157
02:45:07,760 --> 02:45:11,520
The closer I got, the more it thrashed. Its body

2158
02:45:11,600 --> 02:45:14,399
was angled down now, and it had made progress in

2159
02:45:14,440 --> 02:45:18,040
its thrashing. But I needed to send it down for good.

2160
02:45:19,639 --> 02:45:23,360
I brought the axe down. The first strike sank into

2161
02:45:23,360 --> 02:45:27,280
the muscle above its wrist. It screamed and flailed maniacally

2162
02:45:28,040 --> 02:45:31,959
enough to tear across my forearm. Warm blood poured from

2163
02:45:31,959 --> 02:45:36,760
the cut. I didn't stop. I raised the axe again

2164
02:45:36,799 --> 02:45:39,159
and brought it down where the elbow had bent backward

2165
02:45:39,200 --> 02:45:45,040
into the metal. The joint cracked, it loosened. I hit

2166
02:45:45,120 --> 02:45:51,159
again and again. The tendon finally snapped. The rest of

2167
02:45:51,200 --> 02:45:54,879
the body fell free, but the mangled arm stayed stuck.

2168
02:45:55,840 --> 02:46:00,920
The monster dropped away, screaming claws raking empty air, then

2169
02:46:01,040 --> 02:46:05,520
vanished into the dark gorge below. The scream echoed for

2170
02:46:05,559 --> 02:46:12,239
a few seconds, then cut off. The bus groaned again

2171
02:46:12,319 --> 02:46:16,159
and shifted. We needed to get out of there fast.

2172
02:46:18,639 --> 02:46:22,639
For a moment, no one moved. A teacher near the

2173
02:46:22,680 --> 02:46:25,680
middle broke the silence and began yelling for everyone to

2174
02:46:25,719 --> 02:46:29,639
stay calm and get out as soon as possible. I

2175
02:46:29,719 --> 02:46:32,520
limped back along the floor, holding the cut across my

2176
02:46:32,639 --> 02:46:36,040
arm with my palm to stop the bleeding. I helped

2177
02:46:36,040 --> 02:46:38,920
the nearest ones get out first, guided them through the

2178
02:46:38,959 --> 02:46:42,879
back panel as it opened. Other adults took over from there,

2179
02:46:43,440 --> 02:46:47,239
ushering the kids onto the road and away from the bus.

2180
02:46:47,799 --> 02:46:51,200
Smoke still clung to everything. My vision blurred from the

2181
02:46:51,239 --> 02:46:54,479
blood loss and the ringing in my ears. I could

2182
02:46:54,479 --> 02:46:59,600
barely feel my legs. Once everyone was off, I lowered

2183
02:46:59,600 --> 02:47:03,079
myself down from the rear of the bus. I remember

2184
02:47:03,120 --> 02:47:07,159
stepping onto the pavement, still carrying the axe, and standing

2185
02:47:07,200 --> 02:47:11,079
there without saying anything while the kids hulded together behind me.

2186
02:47:12,760 --> 02:47:17,000
Everyone was covered in ash and blood and smoke, but

2187
02:47:18,760 --> 02:47:23,120
we were alive. The bus led out a low groan.

2188
02:47:23,799 --> 02:47:29,040
Something inside popped. The weight had shifted again, its front

2189
02:47:29,079 --> 02:47:32,479
tilted toward the edge, the left side pulling down first.

2190
02:47:33,440 --> 02:47:36,760
I yelled for everyone to back up. The whole thing

2191
02:47:36,920 --> 02:47:41,120
tipped off the edge and slid forward. Tires scraped once

2192
02:47:41,159 --> 02:47:47,760
against the concrete, and it dropped. Red lights flickered between

2193
02:47:47,799 --> 02:47:51,079
the trees as the first cruiser appeared from the main road.

2194
02:47:51,879 --> 02:47:56,200
Then two more ambulance headlights swept the edge of the woods.

2195
02:47:56,920 --> 02:48:00,559
They finally came a blur of boots and flight lashlights

2196
02:48:00,600 --> 02:48:06,000
closed in. Radio is buzzing, Paramedics builed out, stretchers, officers

2197
02:48:06,040 --> 02:48:09,559
fanned out. I watched all of it as if I

2198
02:48:09,639 --> 02:48:13,440
were stuck in a tunnel. One of them called out

2199
02:48:13,440 --> 02:48:20,760
my name, Jesus Dneley. What the hell happened? It was Jameson,

2200
02:48:21,319 --> 02:48:24,719
someone I knew. He took one look at me, then

2201
02:48:24,760 --> 02:48:28,079
grabbed my shoulder and started leading me back toward the perimeter.

2202
02:48:29,360 --> 02:48:33,000
Come on, sit down, you're bleeding. You're out on your feet.

2203
02:48:35,159 --> 02:48:38,000
I didn't argue. I followed him to the back of

2204
02:48:38,040 --> 02:48:41,600
a cruiser, where a paramedic opened a kit and started

2205
02:48:41,639 --> 02:48:45,879
cleaning the cuts across my arm. Everything stung, but it

2206
02:48:45,920 --> 02:48:51,239
didn't matter. The paramedic asked something, but I didn't answer.

2207
02:48:52,000 --> 02:48:56,120
Then another medic approached through the clipboard. We need to

2208
02:48:56,120 --> 02:48:58,879
know where the first body is the one you radioed

2209
02:48:58,879 --> 02:49:04,239
in at the original crash. You said one fatality. I

2210
02:49:04,319 --> 02:49:10,879
nodded where Jameson touched my arm. You said there was

2211
02:49:10,920 --> 02:49:15,360
a wrecked car. Yeah, I said, My throat was dry

2212
02:49:16,200 --> 02:49:18,719
in the forest back on the shoulder, near the main trail.

2213
02:49:19,440 --> 02:49:23,639
It's not too far out. They helped me into the

2214
02:49:23,719 --> 02:49:27,600
cruiser and drove me down. He passed the broken fence

2215
02:49:28,079 --> 02:49:31,639
and came up to where the Toyota had hit the tree.

2216
02:49:31,959 --> 02:49:34,399
Two medics got out and moved toward the rear of

2217
02:49:34,399 --> 02:49:38,760
the vehicle. I stayed behind, leaning on the open door.

2218
02:49:40,360 --> 02:49:43,159
Then one of them turned back and called to me,

2219
02:49:45,040 --> 02:49:51,000
there's no one back here. I stood up straighter. What

2220
02:49:52,760 --> 02:49:59,319
he motioned again, there's blood, but there's no body. We

2221
02:49:59,360 --> 02:50:05,319
walked toward them, looked through the window myself. The back

2222
02:50:05,399 --> 02:50:08,639
seat was soaked, you could still see the pattern where

2223
02:50:08,639 --> 02:50:11,399
the blood had dried, pulled down to the floor mat.

2224
02:50:12,200 --> 02:50:16,079
The seat belt was stained red and stiff. But the

2225
02:50:16,120 --> 02:50:20,559
body wasn't there. Not a single bone, not a piece

2226
02:50:20,600 --> 02:50:28,399
of fabric, not a trace. I stepped back blinking. Jamison

2227
02:50:28,479 --> 02:50:33,879
stood next to me. Was he dead when you saw him? Yeah?

2228
02:50:34,200 --> 02:50:41,040
I said, Could he have moved? No? I loked past

2229
02:50:41,040 --> 02:50:45,760
the car into the trees behind the clearing. A question

2230
02:50:46,000 --> 02:50:52,559
rang in my head at that moment. Was it not

2231
02:50:53,040 --> 02:51:05,719
the only one? The ground out past the willow pulsed.

2232
02:51:06,719 --> 02:51:09,440
I remember how the moss peeled back to show what

2233
02:51:09,600 --> 02:51:12,639
looked to be a gray, pink veiny pit, which was

2234
02:51:12,719 --> 02:51:17,719
slick like raw flesh. I was just a boy, maybe seven,

2235
02:51:18,239 --> 02:51:22,159
chasing a rabbit through the wet grass. It wasn't mine,

2236
02:51:22,719 --> 02:51:26,040
or at least I don't remember having one. The rabbit

2237
02:51:26,159 --> 02:51:29,319
ran ahead, and before I could call it back, it

2238
02:51:29,440 --> 02:51:33,159
slipped on the moss and tumbled forward. There was a wet,

2239
02:51:33,200 --> 02:51:37,000
tearing sound, and it disappeared down into the pulsing pit.

2240
02:51:38,639 --> 02:51:40,879
I remember the way the moss fell back over the

2241
02:51:40,920 --> 02:51:43,920
hole like closing lips, and I ran back to the

2242
02:51:43,959 --> 02:51:48,319
house screaming. For years, i'd wake up in the middle

2243
02:51:48,360 --> 02:51:52,319
of the night, sweating through my sheets, that same nightmare

2244
02:51:52,479 --> 02:52:00,000
keeping me from a good night's sleep. When I called Rufe,

2245
02:52:00,559 --> 02:52:03,440
I was sitting in the server room watting the reflection

2246
02:52:03,559 --> 02:52:07,120
of the fluorescent lights pulls in my coffee. I let

2247
02:52:07,159 --> 02:52:10,440
the phone buzz out on the desk. She was my

2248
02:52:10,520 --> 02:52:13,879
nearest neighbor growing up. She lived half a mile down

2249
02:52:13,879 --> 02:52:17,319
the track and always brought casseroles over. When Mom passed.

2250
02:52:18,280 --> 02:52:20,879
I remember that she kept an eyeing me when Dad

2251
02:52:20,920 --> 02:52:25,440
got too rough. I'd been ignoring calls from home for years.

2252
02:52:26,319 --> 02:52:29,079
I'd blocked my dad after I'd answered to him yelling

2253
02:52:29,440 --> 02:52:32,079
about leaving him with a broken tractor and no one

2254
02:52:32,120 --> 02:52:36,200
to fix it. I'd been dodging her calls lately, too.

2255
02:52:36,799 --> 02:52:39,520
Credit card bills were doubling before I could pay them back.

2256
02:52:40,000 --> 02:52:42,760
My rent kept jumping each year, and I didn't have

2257
02:52:42,840 --> 02:52:45,319
it in me to lie and say I was fine.

2258
02:52:46,360 --> 02:52:50,399
I didn't want to hear the worry in her voice.

2259
02:52:50,719 --> 02:52:55,200
I never missed the farm each day before school. Dad

2260
02:52:55,280 --> 02:52:57,959
used to wake me up before dawn to hold feed

2261
02:52:58,040 --> 02:53:01,760
sacks almost bigger than me. He'd call me useless and

2262
02:53:01,840 --> 02:53:04,079
slapped me hard across the back of my head when

2263
02:53:04,120 --> 02:53:07,120
I dropped one or spilled grain across the barn floor.

2264
02:53:08,239 --> 02:53:11,239
I hated smelling like a farm. At school, the other

2265
02:53:11,319 --> 02:53:14,040
kids would wrinkle their noses and call me pig boy.

2266
02:53:14,840 --> 02:53:17,559
They'd shoved me in the halls too, and when I

2267
02:53:17,639 --> 02:53:21,200
told Dad, he said, maybe if I wasn't so soft

2268
02:53:21,280 --> 02:53:26,120
like Mum, they wouldn't. I remember once I asked him

2269
02:53:26,159 --> 02:53:29,120
why he never came to my school assemblies, and he

2270
02:53:29,280 --> 02:53:33,840
just looked at me and said what for, before walking away.

2271
02:53:35,200 --> 02:53:38,040
Another time, when I was about twelve, I spilled a

2272
02:53:38,040 --> 02:53:40,600
bucket of pig slop on the feed room floor and

2273
02:53:40,680 --> 02:53:43,520
he dragged me outside of the collar, slammed me up

2274
02:53:43,520 --> 02:53:46,840
against the grain silas so hard I saw stars, and

2275
02:53:47,000 --> 02:53:49,360
left me there in the frost till Ruth spotted me

2276
02:53:49,680 --> 02:53:54,520
during one of the walks. I spent years saving at

2277
02:53:54,559 --> 02:53:57,840
what little I could from doing odd jobs around the village.

2278
02:53:58,440 --> 02:54:01,440
I'd help old mister Keanes it would, and mock out

2279
02:54:01,559 --> 02:54:04,959
Ruth's chicken sheds for a fiver here and there, but

2280
02:54:05,040 --> 02:54:08,639
I never managed to save up enough money. As soon

2281
02:54:08,680 --> 02:54:11,520
as I was old enough, I took out a credit card,

2282
02:54:11,840 --> 02:54:14,520
packed my clothes in a bin bag, and caught the

2283
02:54:14,559 --> 02:54:18,120
first coach to the city. I caught myself a job

2284
02:54:18,159 --> 02:54:22,239
stocking shelves at a supermarket. I never touched the computer

2285
02:54:22,360 --> 02:54:25,600
back home, but at the supermarket they put me in

2286
02:54:25,600 --> 02:54:28,040
their tills for a while, and I picked up how

2287
02:54:28,079 --> 02:54:31,040
to fix the barcode scanner when it jammed, or reset

2288
02:54:31,079 --> 02:54:35,079
the till when they crashed. One of the supervisors noticed

2289
02:54:35,120 --> 02:54:37,280
I was quick with it, and showed me how to

2290
02:54:37,319 --> 02:54:41,639
do basic trouble shooting on the back office computer. I

2291
02:54:41,719 --> 02:54:45,239
realized I was good at it. For the first time,

2292
02:54:45,520 --> 02:54:49,319
I felt like maybe I wasn't useless after all, like

2293
02:54:49,440 --> 02:54:54,239
maybe Dad was wrong about me. Ruth left a voicemail.

2294
02:54:55,000 --> 02:54:58,600
Her voice was soft but tight, like she'd been crying.

2295
02:55:00,319 --> 02:55:03,840
She said, my dad was sick, worse than before, and

2296
02:55:03,959 --> 02:55:06,280
he couldn't keep up with the live stock or the

2297
02:55:06,319 --> 02:55:10,879
fencing repairs. She didn't ask me to come home, but

2298
02:55:11,040 --> 02:55:14,079
she said he needed help and there wasn't any one

2299
02:55:14,120 --> 02:55:17,760
who liked him enough to do it. I sat there

2300
02:55:18,079 --> 02:55:21,719
listening to it play out, feeling that old fear crawl

2301
02:55:21,840 --> 02:55:26,200
up in my chest. I was a grown man now,

2302
02:55:26,680 --> 02:55:29,760
twice as strong as i'd been back then, but par

2303
02:55:29,799 --> 02:55:34,200
to me still felt small just hearing his name. I

2304
02:55:34,239 --> 02:55:37,159
remembered one morning when I was eight or nine, crying

2305
02:55:37,200 --> 02:55:39,719
in the kitchen because Dad had called me useless again.

2306
02:55:40,600 --> 02:55:43,319
Mom crouched down in front of me, her hands still

2307
02:55:43,360 --> 02:55:48,319
smelling of dish soap, and she said, your dad's a

2308
02:55:48,360 --> 02:55:52,680
hard worker, love, it's tiring him out. Sometimes we help

2309
02:55:52,719 --> 02:55:56,200
people even when they don't deserve it. That's what makes

2310
02:55:56,200 --> 02:55:59,840
you better than them. It didn't make sense to me

2311
02:56:00,000 --> 02:56:03,239
when I was younger, but even though I understood it

2312
02:56:03,280 --> 02:56:09,600
in my adulthood, it didn't mean I believed it. Mom's

2313
02:56:09,639 --> 02:56:11,959
death left a gap in the house I was never

2314
02:56:12,000 --> 02:56:15,319
allowed to speak about. The last memory I have of

2315
02:56:15,360 --> 02:56:18,600
her was that morning her hair was tied back with

2316
02:56:18,639 --> 02:56:21,399
a red ribbon and she handed me toast. As I

2317
02:56:21,440 --> 02:56:24,840
pulled my boots on for school, she kissed the top

2318
02:56:24,879 --> 02:56:27,040
of my head and told me to listen to the

2319
02:56:27,079 --> 02:56:32,959
teachers and come straight home. When I got back, Dad

2320
02:56:32,959 --> 02:56:35,520
said she fell from the hayloft, all checking for owl

2321
02:56:35,600 --> 02:56:40,000
nests and broken neck on the old feed bin. He

2322
02:56:40,040 --> 02:56:42,840
didn't wait for me and buried her himself. On the

2323
02:56:42,840 --> 02:56:45,719
opposite side of the land from the barns, near the

2324
02:56:45,719 --> 02:56:49,760
poplar grove. He put up a small wooden cross with

2325
02:56:49,799 --> 02:56:53,360
the name burned into it. I used to guard there

2326
02:56:53,399 --> 02:56:56,520
after school, sit with my back against the tree trunk

2327
02:56:57,159 --> 02:57:01,719
and tell her about my day. Thinking about going back

2328
02:57:01,879 --> 02:57:06,280
made my stomach twist. The resentment was there, thick as ever,

2329
02:57:06,920 --> 02:57:09,799
thinking of all those beatings. How he only ever got

2330
02:57:09,879 --> 02:57:15,440
meaner after Mom died, But gilt pressed into if I

2331
02:57:15,520 --> 02:57:20,239
didn't go. Who else would help him? Ruth was right,

2332
02:57:21,319 --> 02:57:24,520
there wasn't any one else who he hadn't burned bridges with.

2333
02:57:27,799 --> 02:57:30,440
I took my old hatchback. I bought a Facebook market

2334
02:57:30,440 --> 02:57:33,239
place for cheap and packed it with my belongings and

2335
02:57:33,319 --> 02:57:36,879
a flask of instant coffee for the drive. As I

2336
02:57:36,920 --> 02:57:41,200
got closer to home, the road narrowed, hedge rows overgrown

2337
02:57:41,280 --> 02:57:44,520
and clawing at the paint work. The village sign was

2338
02:57:44,639 --> 02:57:48,879
rusted through at the bottom, leaning sideways into thistle clumps.

2339
02:57:49,360 --> 02:57:52,319
My pass shuttered shop fronts with blinds yellowed from the

2340
02:57:52,360 --> 02:57:56,319
inside out. The grain silo streaked red brown with rust.

2341
02:57:56,920 --> 02:57:59,719
The old farmhouse at the junction, boarded up with the

2342
02:57:59,719 --> 02:58:03,239
water to ply that flapped in the wind. It all

2343
02:58:03,280 --> 02:58:06,840
felt smaller than I remembered. The drive had been long,

2344
02:58:07,399 --> 02:58:10,239
My back was sore from the sagging seat, and I

2345
02:58:10,280 --> 02:58:13,159
spent half the time thinking about how I'd pay off

2346
02:58:13,200 --> 02:58:17,159
the credit cards now I didn't have an income. I

2347
02:58:17,280 --> 02:58:19,639
kept wondering what the place would look like now I

2348
02:58:19,719 --> 02:58:24,280
was grown, if the barns would seem small too. Part

2349
02:58:24,319 --> 02:58:27,040
of me hoped Dad kept Mum's old boxes in the attic,

2350
02:58:27,799 --> 02:58:31,520
even just a box or a Sunday clothes, something left

2351
02:58:31,559 --> 02:58:35,440
that still smelled like a soap and wood smoke. My

2352
02:58:35,559 --> 02:58:39,079
chest felt tight thinking about stepping back into that kitchen

2353
02:58:40,120 --> 02:58:45,159
and seeing him there. When I pulled up, Dad was

2354
02:58:45,200 --> 02:58:48,040
out by the porch, sitting on the old paint flake

2355
02:58:48,159 --> 02:58:52,440
chair with his flask tucked tight in both hands. He

2356
02:58:52,559 --> 02:58:54,959
frowned when he saw me step out of the hatchback

2357
02:58:55,600 --> 02:59:01,360
lined deep around his mouth. What are you doing, he shouted,

2358
02:59:01,840 --> 02:59:04,639
squinting at me like he wasn't sure I was real.

2359
02:59:05,879 --> 02:59:09,360
His voice was thinner than I remembered, rough like gravel.

2360
02:59:10,479 --> 02:59:13,040
He set the flask down on the poor trail, his

2361
02:59:13,159 --> 02:59:16,639
hand shaking a little as he did. I told him

2362
02:59:16,719 --> 02:59:20,520
Ruth called me, and he snorted spat into the dirt,

2363
02:59:20,879 --> 02:59:23,639
said he didn't need any charity from city boys with

2364
02:59:23,760 --> 02:59:29,120
soft hands. His eyes flickered over me, my jeans, my trainers,

2365
02:59:29,520 --> 02:59:32,399
the creases, and my shirt from the drive, and he

2366
02:59:32,479 --> 02:59:36,520
curled his lip like it all offended him. I couldn't

2367
02:59:36,559 --> 02:59:39,719
help noticing how his shoulders had shrunk into his frame,

2368
02:59:40,319 --> 02:59:43,639
how gray his skin looked under the old cap. There

2369
02:59:43,680 --> 02:59:46,079
were sun spots across his cheeks and the ridge of

2370
02:59:46,120 --> 02:59:50,000
his nose, and a smear of dried blood under one nostril,

2371
02:59:50,360 --> 02:59:53,559
like he'd been wiping at it. I thought about how

2372
02:59:53,600 --> 02:59:55,920
this was the man who used to lift me one

2373
02:59:56,000 --> 03:00:00,280
handed off the ground when he was angry. Now like

2374
03:00:00,280 --> 03:00:04,239
a strong wind could knock him sideways. He wiped his

2375
03:00:04,280 --> 03:00:07,120
mouth with the back of his hand, eyes flicking away

2376
03:00:07,120 --> 03:00:13,760
from mine. Well, he muttered, voice quieter, don't just stand

2377
03:00:13,799 --> 03:00:19,360
there gaping. Your bags won't carry themselves in. He pushed

2378
03:00:19,399 --> 03:00:22,520
himself up to a stand, hobbled down the porch steps,

2379
03:00:22,719 --> 03:00:24,559
and reached for the boot to grab one of my

2380
03:00:24,639 --> 03:00:29,079
duffel bags. His fingers trembled on the strap and he

2381
03:00:29,120 --> 03:00:33,040
nearly lost balance, catching himself against the car with a grunt.

2382
03:00:34,559 --> 03:00:39,639
For a moment, I felt sorry for him, seeing how

2383
03:00:39,719 --> 03:00:42,959
old and thin he gone, With the memory of him

2384
03:00:43,040 --> 03:00:46,000
dragging me across the yard by the collar flared up sharp,

2385
03:00:46,479 --> 03:00:50,799
burning the pity right out of me. I cleared my throat.

2386
03:00:52,319 --> 03:00:55,719
You're right there, I asked, trying to keep my voice flat.

2387
03:00:56,840 --> 03:01:00,520
He grunted and didn't look at me, still bracing himself

2388
03:01:00,559 --> 03:01:04,799
against the door. Don't fuss, grab your crap and get

2389
03:01:04,799 --> 03:01:09,200
inside before the flies do the way. His voice shook

2390
03:01:09,239 --> 03:01:12,280
under the words made something twist low in my gut,

2391
03:01:13,399 --> 03:01:16,600
but I didn't say anything else as I reached for

2392
03:01:16,719 --> 03:01:22,120
the rest of my bags. In the days that followed,

2393
03:01:22,479 --> 03:01:26,520
mornings came slow, the cold seeping through the thin windows.

2394
03:01:27,680 --> 03:01:30,879
Each day blended into the next, and it was over

2395
03:01:30,920 --> 03:01:33,799
the course of a week that these small changes built

2396
03:01:33,840 --> 03:01:37,719
between us. The first morning I caught him in the kitchen,

2397
03:01:38,079 --> 03:01:42,159
hunched over his mug, fighting with his shirt buttons, knuckles

2398
03:01:42,159 --> 03:01:47,079
swollen and spotted with age. I reached over without saying anything,

2399
03:01:47,559 --> 03:01:51,360
and fastened the last button for him. He grunted like

2400
03:01:51,440 --> 03:01:56,319
it annoyed him, but he didn't pull away. He muttered

2401
03:01:57,520 --> 03:02:01,559
city boys got soft hands, but clever things, and it

2402
03:02:01,639 --> 03:02:06,280
almost sounded like affection. By the fourth and fifth day,

2403
03:02:06,840 --> 03:02:10,520
we spent mornings along the rye Field fence. He showed

2404
03:02:10,520 --> 03:02:12,920
me how to wedge the crowbar under the rotted post

2405
03:02:12,959 --> 03:02:17,479
without splitting it, his wrinkled hands guiding mine, and for

2406
03:02:17,559 --> 03:02:21,879
a moment I felt like a kid again, looking up

2407
03:02:21,920 --> 03:02:27,040
to him before everything went bad, I found myself wondering

2408
03:02:27,079 --> 03:02:30,000
why he had been so cool back then. Was it

2409
03:02:30,079 --> 03:02:34,159
the stress of losing Mom, the endless debt and failing crops,

2410
03:02:34,760 --> 03:02:37,760
or was that just who he was, and now age

2411
03:02:37,799 --> 03:02:42,799
made him softer. When the tract ranged him back fired,

2412
03:02:43,040 --> 03:02:45,840
he flinched so hard he dropped the spanner, and then

2413
03:02:45,879 --> 03:02:49,680
he barked out a warm laugh. It was the first

2414
03:02:49,680 --> 03:02:51,760
time I'd heard that sound from him since I was

2415
03:02:51,920 --> 03:02:56,840
very young. I laughed too, and for a second I

2416
03:02:56,920 --> 03:02:59,399
saw him the way I had wanted to as a boy,

2417
03:03:00,760 --> 03:03:03,719
just my dad, not the man who bruised my ribs

2418
03:03:03,719 --> 03:03:08,479
when I spilled pig feed. That evening, as the day

2419
03:03:08,600 --> 03:03:11,399
settled in, he walked down the line of the new

2420
03:03:11,440 --> 03:03:14,799
posts I tamped in, testing each one with his boot.

2421
03:03:16,559 --> 03:03:22,440
Good job, he said, quiet, almost embarrassed. Didn't think you'd

2422
03:03:22,440 --> 03:03:27,200
get them line proper. His words settled into my chest,

2423
03:03:27,520 --> 03:03:31,159
heavy and warm, something close to pride curling low in

2424
03:03:31,239 --> 03:03:35,040
my gut. As the sun bled down past the barn roof,

2425
03:03:35,719 --> 03:03:39,120
he stared out towards the hollow, squinting at the shadows

2426
03:03:39,200 --> 03:03:44,840
pooling at its edge. Ye're stronger than I thought. His

2427
03:03:45,000 --> 03:03:50,479
voice cracked a little. The next week rolled on the same,

2428
03:03:51,239 --> 03:03:55,000
each day aching more than the last. I learned how

2429
03:03:55,000 --> 03:03:58,840
to split fence rails without wasting half the splinters. Had

2430
03:03:58,879 --> 03:04:01,399
to bull a stubborn car from a cramped pen without

2431
03:04:01,440 --> 03:04:05,079
getting kicked. My hands blistered in the first two days,

2432
03:04:05,559 --> 03:04:09,760
and by day three the skin peeled off in strips.

2433
03:04:10,440 --> 03:04:13,159
Every morning I woke with my back stiff and my

2434
03:04:13,319 --> 03:04:19,319
arm's throbbing, but I kept going, feeling something heavy and

2435
03:04:19,440 --> 03:04:23,879
guilty settle in my chest. I thought about how Dad

2436
03:04:23,959 --> 03:04:26,479
must have been doing all this alone for years after

2437
03:04:26,559 --> 03:04:29,879
I left, and it made my stomach groan with shame.

2438
03:04:31,319 --> 03:04:34,520
The work was harder than I ever imagined, and each

2439
03:04:34,600 --> 03:04:38,680
time I caught him watching me, his eyes clouded but proud,

2440
03:04:39,760 --> 03:04:43,799
it made me want to do more. I started picking

2441
03:04:43,879 --> 03:04:47,639
up extra chores without himsking fixing a chammed water pump,

2442
03:04:47,879 --> 03:04:51,079
and oiling the barn hinges before they squealed themselves off

2443
03:04:51,120 --> 03:04:54,879
the nails. Each chaw made my back ache and my

2444
03:04:54,959 --> 03:04:58,440
palms raw, but also gave me a sense of purpose

2445
03:04:58,639 --> 03:05:02,840
I hadn't felt in years. I found myself wanting to

2446
03:05:02,920 --> 03:05:07,840
prove to him I wasn't useless. Some mornings, as we

2447
03:05:08,000 --> 03:05:11,280
ate breakfast in silence, I'd catch him glancing at me

2448
03:05:11,399 --> 03:05:14,479
from under his brow, and I thought maybe he was

2449
03:05:14,520 --> 03:05:16,959
starting to see me as more than a boy who

2450
03:05:17,079 --> 03:05:21,360
ran away. But that old nightmare started coming back too.

2451
03:05:22,600 --> 03:05:24,840
I got used to sleeping right through the night when

2452
03:05:24,840 --> 03:05:28,200
I moved away. Maybe it was being back in my

2453
03:05:28,280 --> 03:05:31,280
old room and the smell of haydus and old varnish

2454
03:05:31,360 --> 03:05:36,639
seeping from the floorboards that let it crawl back in. Now,

2455
03:05:36,840 --> 03:05:41,040
every couple of nights, i'd wake up gasping, hard hammering,

2456
03:05:41,159 --> 03:05:46,000
and the sheets clamming with sweat. In the dream, I

2457
03:05:46,079 --> 03:05:50,559
was small again, feet sinking into wet grass, watching the

2458
03:05:50,600 --> 03:05:53,760
ground past the willow ripple and pulse like a throat.

2459
03:05:54,280 --> 03:05:57,639
The mass peeled back to show that graping flesh underneath

2460
03:05:58,120 --> 03:06:01,440
fained and slick, twitch with a life of its own.

2461
03:06:02,520 --> 03:06:05,360
I'd see the rabbits skit a forward here, its yelps

2462
03:06:05,440 --> 03:06:08,479
before it slipped and fell in, followed by their wet,

2463
03:06:08,479 --> 03:06:12,319
tearing sound that still makes my stomach clench just thinking

2464
03:06:12,360 --> 03:06:16,040
of it. I couldn't help but wonder why the dream

2465
03:06:16,159 --> 03:06:23,120
came back. As time passed, I noticed that every other

2466
03:06:23,200 --> 03:06:25,920
day my dad would hobble out to the pens and

2467
03:06:26,040 --> 03:06:28,920
tie a rope around a goat's neck, and he'd lead it,

2468
03:06:29,000 --> 03:06:32,799
quiet and bleating past the rye field toward the marshland.

2469
03:06:34,239 --> 03:06:37,360
He'd come back alone, wiping his hands on his jeans,

2470
03:06:37,840 --> 03:06:42,120
his face pale and eyes distant. The first time I

2471
03:06:42,159 --> 03:06:47,079
asked where he went, he snapped at me sharp, not

2472
03:06:47,280 --> 03:06:52,360
your business. But then he sighed and his shoulders slumped.

2473
03:06:53,520 --> 03:06:57,200
It's just old farm work. You wouldn't understand, he said,

2474
03:06:57,600 --> 03:07:01,920
his voice tired, almost kind. Let your old man take

2475
03:07:01,920 --> 03:07:06,440
care of the land. There was something in his eyes

2476
03:07:06,479 --> 03:07:10,319
that warned me off. I thought maybe he was culling them,

2477
03:07:10,440 --> 03:07:13,680
or selling to some neighbor. I didn't know, but the

2478
03:07:13,719 --> 03:07:16,680
way he shut down any question made me not one

2479
03:07:16,799 --> 03:07:22,799
to know. It was easier not to know. I couldn't

2480
03:07:22,799 --> 03:07:25,559
shake the feeling that maybe my nightmare wasn't just a

2481
03:07:25,680 --> 03:07:29,239
nightmare at all. Maybe it was something I saw once,

2482
03:07:29,840 --> 03:07:32,879
and my mind buried it because thinking about it too

2483
03:07:32,959 --> 03:07:37,360
long made me feel sick. The next time he went

2484
03:07:37,399 --> 03:07:40,280
to fetch a goat, I saw how his hands shook.

2485
03:07:41,239 --> 03:07:43,760
It was so bad the rope nearly slipped through his grip.

2486
03:07:44,879 --> 03:07:48,799
His face was gray, lips dry and cracked, and sweat

2487
03:07:48,799 --> 03:07:52,280
clung to the wisps of hair at his temple. I

2488
03:07:52,319 --> 03:07:54,399
put down the spanner I was using to fix the

2489
03:07:54,440 --> 03:07:58,360
tractor panel and said, here, let me take it out

2490
03:07:58,360 --> 03:08:03,159
for you to day. He paused, shoulders trembling as he

2491
03:08:03,200 --> 03:08:06,079
caught his breath, and his eyes flicked up at me,

2492
03:08:06,760 --> 03:08:11,639
dull and wet, like he was fighting something inside. No,

2493
03:08:12,600 --> 03:08:16,559
he said, voice low but shaking. You go fix that

2494
03:08:16,680 --> 03:08:22,079
south gate hinge instead, leave this to me. He tried

2495
03:08:22,120 --> 03:08:25,280
to stand up straighter, but winced, gripping the ropes so

2496
03:08:25,440 --> 03:08:30,000
tight his knuckles went white. For a second, I thought

2497
03:08:30,040 --> 03:08:35,360
he might collapse right there. I watched him shuffle off

2498
03:08:35,399 --> 03:08:40,520
across the field, the goat trailing behind him, but I listened,

2499
03:08:41,440 --> 03:08:44,559
and once I finished bolting the tractor panel, I headed

2500
03:08:44,600 --> 03:08:49,520
for the south gate. The hinge wasn't even loose, just

2501
03:08:49,600 --> 03:08:52,520
a bit rusted, so I oiled it and kicked it

2502
03:08:52,639 --> 03:08:57,600
shut the check. As I turned to walk back, I

2503
03:08:57,639 --> 03:09:01,120
saw the goat wandering free near the fence line, rope

2504
03:09:01,159 --> 03:09:04,600
still hanging from its neck. He lifted its head to

2505
03:09:04,600 --> 03:09:07,719
bleat at me, but I was already sprinting past it,

2506
03:09:08,159 --> 03:09:11,799
boots thudding on the dirt, the ground getting softer as

2507
03:09:11,799 --> 03:09:16,399
I reached the marsh edge. The grass there felt spongy underfoot,

2508
03:09:17,159 --> 03:09:19,959
damp moss pulling at my souls. As I scanned the

2509
03:09:20,079 --> 03:09:26,120
land frantically, I spotted him crumpled in the mud near

2510
03:09:26,159 --> 03:09:29,840
the cattails. His shirt pulled half out of his jeans,

2511
03:09:30,120 --> 03:09:34,319
like he'd fallen hard. His chest rose and fell in short,

2512
03:09:34,479 --> 03:09:39,479
shallow jerks, eyes half open. His body felt so light

2513
03:09:39,559 --> 03:09:42,239
when I lifted him, like picking up a sack of

2514
03:09:42,280 --> 03:09:47,000
feed too long left out to dry. His skin was clammy.

2515
03:09:47,520 --> 03:09:50,520
His breath rattled against my neck as I carried him

2516
03:09:50,559 --> 03:09:54,840
back towards the house. I felt sorry for him, then

2517
03:09:55,719 --> 03:10:00,479
truly sorry, and hated myself for it. He felt so

2518
03:10:00,719 --> 03:10:05,479
small in my arms. I laid him down on the

2519
03:10:05,559 --> 03:10:08,440
old brown arm chair by the window, the one with

2520
03:10:08,520 --> 03:10:11,319
a stuffing coming out of the arm rest, and pressed

2521
03:10:11,360 --> 03:10:15,040
the damp cloth to his forehead. It took nearly twenty

2522
03:10:15,079 --> 03:10:18,479
minutes for his eyes the focus properly. He gripped my

2523
03:10:18,479 --> 03:10:23,040
wrist weakly, his palm cold and thin skinned, and muttered

2524
03:10:23,040 --> 03:10:28,079
for water. After he drank, his head sank back against

2525
03:10:28,079 --> 03:10:34,520
the worn cushion. My time is nearly over, boy, he rasped,

2526
03:10:34,799 --> 03:10:38,959
staring past me at the ceiling. It's time you knew

2527
03:10:39,000 --> 03:10:46,559
about the land. He swallowed, his throat clicking dryly. Back

2528
03:10:46,600 --> 03:10:50,799
when you were little, before your mum. His eyes drifted

2529
03:10:50,840 --> 03:10:53,879
shut and for a moment I thought he'd fallen asleep.

2530
03:10:54,719 --> 03:10:59,200
But then he drew a shuddering breath. The lens started failing,

2531
03:11:00,159 --> 03:11:03,760
crops rotted in the rose, couldn't keep the feed barley

2532
03:11:03,799 --> 03:11:08,079
from mold. Even the hens stopped laying. Your Mum and I.

2533
03:11:09,000 --> 03:11:16,920
We fought a lot, then money, god, everything. He coughed weakly,

2534
03:11:17,200 --> 03:11:23,239
and his lip trembled. I tried everything, boy, fertilizas, burning

2535
03:11:23,280 --> 03:11:29,600
off top soil, praying. Nothing took. Then one day you

2536
03:11:29,719 --> 03:11:33,479
came and screaming about the rabbit. You were white as milk,

2537
03:11:33,879 --> 03:11:37,159
couldn't get the words out right. You said the earth

2538
03:11:37,200 --> 03:11:41,799
swallowed him up. I thought you were lying. But later

2539
03:11:41,879 --> 03:11:47,079
that evening I went out there past the willow. I

2540
03:11:47,159 --> 03:11:54,040
saw it. The mass all peeled back, the flesh underneath veined,

2541
03:11:54,559 --> 03:12:04,319
pulsing like something alive. He paused, staring through me. After

2542
03:12:04,360 --> 03:12:07,719
it ate the rabbit, the cell field came up green again,

2543
03:12:08,479 --> 03:12:12,280
peas like fists. I didn't think much of it until

2544
03:12:12,280 --> 03:12:16,159
a week later, when the leaves yellowed overnight, and I

2545
03:12:16,239 --> 03:12:21,840
thought maybe he needed feeding again. So I took an

2546
03:12:21,840 --> 03:12:25,479
old billy goat, slit his throat right over that hole

2547
03:12:26,479 --> 03:12:32,200
and threw it in his voice, cracked apathetic, thin sound.

2548
03:12:33,600 --> 03:12:37,479
The next day the wheat stood tall, barley heads thick.

2549
03:12:38,200 --> 03:12:42,120
The lamb came back to life. And that's how it's been.

2550
03:12:43,360 --> 03:12:49,479
The land feeds us. We feed it, Yo, mom, She

2551
03:12:49,719 --> 03:12:55,840
didn't understand. His fingers loosened around my wrist as his

2552
03:12:55,959 --> 03:13:01,440
breathing ease, the shallow rattle's eyes closing, mouth slah. He

2553
03:13:01,559 --> 03:13:04,680
stayed quiet for a long minute, eye is half shut,

2554
03:13:05,799 --> 03:13:10,159
then his brow pinched. I tried other things, you know,

2555
03:13:11,079 --> 03:13:16,520
he muttered voice. Horse rode, kill, rotted, hard carcasses, dead

2556
03:13:16,600 --> 03:13:20,200
crows I found in the yard. Thought if he wanted meat,

2557
03:13:20,520 --> 03:13:24,479
it wouldn't matter. But every time I feted something old,

2558
03:13:25,159 --> 03:13:30,360
the lanterned, sour crops came up yellow, the barley rotted

2559
03:13:30,360 --> 03:13:35,879
in the head. It needs fresh blood, boy warm, just

2560
03:13:36,040 --> 03:13:40,000
killed or still kicking. The first time I realized that

2561
03:13:40,360 --> 03:13:42,799
was when a calf was born, twisted with its cuts

2562
03:13:42,799 --> 03:13:46,479
half out. I didn't want it to suffer, so I

2563
03:13:46,520 --> 03:13:49,799
slit his throat out by the marsh and threw it in.

2564
03:13:50,280 --> 03:13:53,600
The Next day, the cloverfield came up thick as wool.

2565
03:13:55,079 --> 03:13:59,719
That's how I knew it isn't just any meat. It's

2566
03:13:59,719 --> 03:14:06,040
got to be alive or near enough. That's how it works.

2567
03:14:06,840 --> 03:14:09,799
His eyes rolled back, and his chest fluttered like a

2568
03:14:09,840 --> 03:14:14,120
trapped bird under his ribs. I sat there watching him,

2569
03:14:14,559 --> 03:14:19,079
that awful pulse of pity in disgust, throbbing under my ribs.

2570
03:14:19,879 --> 03:14:25,280
He swallowed again, eyes looking open just enough to meet mine.

2571
03:14:25,600 --> 03:14:31,200
You'll need to keep it fed, now, he whispered. Hearing

2572
03:14:31,280 --> 03:14:33,680
him say it like that made my mouth go dry.

2573
03:14:35,120 --> 03:14:38,879
All those years thinking it was just a nightmare, but

2574
03:14:39,000 --> 03:14:43,440
it wasn't. I really did have a rabbit. I could

2575
03:14:43,479 --> 03:14:46,159
see its scruffy ears in my mind, the way it

2576
03:14:46,239 --> 03:14:48,719
used to roll on his back, so I'd scratched its belly.

2577
03:14:49,760 --> 03:14:53,280
It wasn't just some blur from sleep. It was real,

2578
03:14:54,559 --> 03:14:57,639
and he died, swallowed up by some sort of flesh bit.

2579
03:14:59,200 --> 03:15:02,559
My chest hurt thinking about it, thinking about how it

2580
03:15:02,719 --> 03:15:06,920
suffered from the horrific nightmare, over and over again. And

2581
03:15:07,040 --> 03:15:10,319
my dad never said a word, just told me to

2582
03:15:10,360 --> 03:15:16,920
stop sniveling over nightmares. Tears burned in my eyes. He coughed,

2583
03:15:17,200 --> 03:15:22,959
wet and shallow, and swallowed hard. It's your job, now,

2584
03:15:23,680 --> 03:15:28,000
he said, voice rasping like gravel. His eyes flicked a

2585
03:15:28,079 --> 03:15:31,040
mine and softened for a moment, like there was still

2586
03:15:31,040 --> 03:15:36,239
a farther in there, somewhere. You're ready. I wouldn't ask

2587
03:15:36,280 --> 03:15:40,920
if you weren't. He closed his eyes again, his head

2588
03:15:41,040 --> 03:15:45,040
rolling to the side, but his chest kept rising and falling,

2589
03:15:45,600 --> 03:15:50,440
each breath, thin and ragged. I sat there for a while,

2590
03:15:50,719 --> 03:15:53,959
taking it all in, feeling my chest tight and my

2591
03:15:54,040 --> 03:15:57,399
hands numb. Before I stood up, I grabbed my coat

2592
03:15:57,440 --> 03:16:01,200
from the peg and stepped outside. The evening air cool

2593
03:16:01,280 --> 03:16:05,840
against my face. The fields were quiet, a few crows

2594
03:16:05,840 --> 03:16:10,120
picking at old straw bales. I spotted the goat wandering

2595
03:16:10,200 --> 03:16:13,520
near the ripe fence line, rope trailing behind it through

2596
03:16:13,520 --> 03:16:17,000
the mud. It lifted its head when it saw me coming,

2597
03:16:17,440 --> 03:16:21,200
bleated low and tried to step away, but its legs

2598
03:16:21,239 --> 03:16:25,319
sank in the churned up soil. My hands shook as

2599
03:16:25,360 --> 03:16:28,920
I untangled the rope from around its hearts as I

2600
03:16:28,959 --> 03:16:33,120
started walking it toward the marshland. When I reached the

2601
03:16:33,239 --> 03:16:36,000
edge of the marsh, I could smell the pit before

2602
03:16:36,040 --> 03:16:39,399
I could see it. The goat snorted and pulled back

2603
03:16:39,440 --> 03:16:43,479
against the rope, hoof skidding in the moss, ears flicking

2604
03:16:43,559 --> 03:16:48,600
back at the stink. But I yanked it closer. It

2605
03:16:48,719 --> 03:16:52,559
wasn't gray pink like I remembered. It was darker, now

2606
03:16:53,159 --> 03:16:56,760
streaked with a deep red brown. Folds of flesh ridged

2607
03:16:56,879 --> 03:17:00,680
like the inside of a gut. Thick yellowish lime wept

2608
03:17:00,719 --> 03:17:04,959
from its seams, pulling into the mud below. The center

2609
03:17:05,000 --> 03:17:09,520
of it dipped inward, twitching with slow pulses. The smell

2610
03:17:09,600 --> 03:17:14,440
hit me so hard I gagged. I stood there with

2611
03:17:14,520 --> 03:17:18,319
the goat shifting nervously beside me, the rope rough in

2612
03:17:18,399 --> 03:17:21,959
my grip. I thought about Dad's eyes when he told

2613
03:17:22,000 --> 03:17:25,280
me I was ready. That stupid flicker of pride in

2614
03:17:25,319 --> 03:17:29,239
my chest burnt through the fear. My hands were trembling

2615
03:17:29,319 --> 03:17:33,520
so hard I could barely loosen the rope. I slipped

2616
03:17:33,559 --> 03:17:36,120
it off and grabbed the goat by its back legs,

2617
03:17:36,479 --> 03:17:40,879
feeling its weight strained my arms. It bleated, and I

2618
03:17:40,920 --> 03:17:44,639
didn't have it in me to slit its throat. I couldn't,

2619
03:17:45,799 --> 03:17:49,159
so I just heaved it forward, flinching as its head

2620
03:17:49,280 --> 03:17:55,680
struck the fleshy rim. The whole pit convulsed, folds rippling

2621
03:17:55,719 --> 03:17:58,639
outwards as it suck. The goat down in one twitch

2622
03:17:58,680 --> 03:18:01,959
and gulp, leave nothing behind but the stench of blood

2623
03:18:01,959 --> 03:18:06,639
and bile, curling up into the evening air. I watched

2624
03:18:06,680 --> 03:18:10,680
the ripples settle and felt my knees go weak. I

2625
03:18:10,760 --> 03:18:13,760
turned away, wiping my mouth of the back of my sleeve,

2626
03:18:14,280 --> 03:18:18,360
showing the nausea away, But I could still hear that wet,

2627
03:18:18,440 --> 03:18:22,399
sucking sound as the goat slipped down and was swallowed.

2628
03:18:24,760 --> 03:18:29,120
By morning, the ri stood taller, dark green, and heavy headed.

2629
03:18:29,680 --> 03:18:32,479
The calves were born with bright eyes and strong legs,

2630
03:18:32,920 --> 03:18:36,879
the clover thick under their hoofs. Dad noticed it too,

2631
03:18:37,879 --> 03:18:43,040
He relaxed more, letting me take over the work. Unfortunately,

2632
03:18:43,760 --> 03:18:48,319
he only got sicker and he started sleeping longer. My

2633
03:18:48,479 --> 03:18:51,559
arms thickened and my back grew stronger under the strain.

2634
03:18:52,239 --> 03:18:54,200
Each night, as I washed the dirt off in the

2635
03:18:54,239 --> 03:18:58,600
cracked basin, I saw someone I almost respected looking back

2636
03:18:58,639 --> 03:19:02,000
at me that often watched me work from his chair

2637
03:19:02,079 --> 03:19:05,639
on the porch, his eyes softer now, his voice calmer

2638
03:19:05,680 --> 03:19:08,760
when he spoke. Some nights he'd tell me about the

2639
03:19:08,799 --> 03:19:11,079
farm when I was small, like how I used to

2640
03:19:11,120 --> 03:19:13,799
fall asleep in the hayloft with a bug propped on

2641
03:19:13,879 --> 03:19:16,920
my chest, And he'd smile a little when he said it,

2642
03:19:17,440 --> 03:19:21,120
like he actually loved me. Back. Then, as I settled

2643
03:19:21,159 --> 03:19:24,159
him in with his mug of warm milk, it reached

2644
03:19:24,159 --> 03:19:27,600
out and squeezed my wrist, and I could almost believe

2645
03:19:27,760 --> 03:19:31,760
this was how it was always meant to be. In

2646
03:19:31,840 --> 03:19:35,200
the weeks after, I kept feeding at things like chickens

2647
03:19:35,200 --> 03:19:39,280
that stopped lying, lambs born too weak to stand. One

2648
03:19:39,360 --> 03:19:42,440
damp morning, while hauling a freshly dead ewe across the

2649
03:19:42,479 --> 03:19:46,000
slick ground, my foot slid out from under me and

2650
03:19:46,079 --> 03:19:50,319
I toppled forward. My hands slapped down hard on the flesh, rim,

2651
03:19:50,600 --> 03:19:54,879
slick and hot, and I gagged at the texture. I

2652
03:19:55,000 --> 03:19:58,719
pushed myself up fast, but something half buried in the

2653
03:19:58,799 --> 03:20:02,959
slime caught my eye. Matted down under a thick yellow

2654
03:20:03,040 --> 03:20:08,280
smear was a scrap of cloth. I reached out with

2655
03:20:08,360 --> 03:20:12,440
shaking fingers and pulled it free. When I rubbed awa

2656
03:20:12,520 --> 03:20:16,159
a slime with my thumb, I saw the red shine through.

2657
03:20:17,479 --> 03:20:21,079
My chest went tight. My body recognized in the material

2658
03:20:21,360 --> 03:20:24,680
before my brain had a chance to It was a

2659
03:20:24,680 --> 03:20:27,280
piece of the bow Mom wore in her hair the

2660
03:20:27,360 --> 03:20:31,799
morning I last saw her. For a moment, the smell

2661
03:20:31,840 --> 03:20:35,000
of rot faded, and all I could hear was a

2662
03:20:35,079 --> 03:20:39,639
laugh echoing in my memory. Before It twisted into that pulsing,

2663
03:20:39,799 --> 03:20:44,200
sucking sound beneath me, and the world tilted sideways under me.

2664
03:20:46,159 --> 03:20:49,280
My hand shook as I clenched the ribbon in my fist.

2665
03:20:49,600 --> 03:20:53,399
The anger bubbled up sharp in my chest. But under

2666
03:20:53,440 --> 03:20:59,159
it was dread, confusion, grief, all twisted together. I thought

2667
03:20:59,159 --> 03:21:02,159
about the grave by the poplar grove, the little cross

2668
03:21:02,159 --> 03:21:05,639
he had carved the name into. My throat felt tight.

2669
03:21:06,799 --> 03:21:09,680
I stumbled back to the tool shed, grabbed the shovel

2670
03:21:09,719 --> 03:21:12,840
of its rusty hook, and trudged out past the fence

2671
03:21:12,920 --> 03:21:16,719
lines to her grave. The ground was hard from weeks

2672
03:21:16,719 --> 03:21:20,920
of sun, but I dug anyway, sweat dripping into my eyes,

2673
03:21:21,399 --> 03:21:25,319
dirt caking my arms. I dug until the shovel hit

2674
03:21:25,399 --> 03:21:29,280
nothing but dry earth below. There were no bones or

2675
03:21:29,360 --> 03:21:33,120
calf in. The anger built up heart behind my eyes,

2676
03:21:33,559 --> 03:21:37,000
and I've had my teeth clenched so tight my jaw ached.

2677
03:21:38,639 --> 03:21:42,319
All those years of being called useless, all those bruises,

2678
03:21:42,360 --> 03:21:45,719
and the fear and the small kindnesses that never made

2679
03:21:45,799 --> 03:21:48,959
up for it. I felt the rage burn up through

2680
03:21:49,000 --> 03:21:55,479
my chest, molten and unstoppable. He murdered her, He murdered

2681
03:21:55,479 --> 03:21:58,600
my mom. The bow was warm in my grip from

2682
03:21:58,600 --> 03:22:02,319
my sweaty, shaking hand. As I stormed back to the house,

2683
03:22:03,280 --> 03:22:07,200
the door slammed open against the peeling wall. He was

2684
03:22:07,200 --> 03:22:11,280
in his chair, the old TV flickering shadows across his face,

2685
03:22:11,879 --> 03:22:17,000
eyes glazed and distant. He looked up, slow, blinking at me,

2686
03:22:17,440 --> 03:22:20,959
like I'd woken him from a dream. I held the

2687
03:22:21,000 --> 03:22:26,559
soiled ribbon out, my voice trembling with fury. I know

2688
03:22:26,760 --> 03:22:30,600
what you did, I boomed, I know you killed her.

2689
03:22:31,600 --> 03:22:36,600
Why why the hell would you do that? He looked

2690
03:22:36,600 --> 03:22:39,159
at the bow in my hand, then back up at me,

2691
03:22:39,959 --> 03:22:44,120
eyes tired and hollow. He led her a long, ragged

2692
03:22:44,200 --> 03:22:50,239
sigh and slumped deeper into the chair. We were running out,

2693
03:22:50,879 --> 03:22:55,760
he rasped, his voice, like dry gravel. No cows left,

2694
03:22:56,120 --> 03:23:00,200
barely any sheep. Your mom. She wouldn't let me take

2695
03:23:00,239 --> 03:23:03,879
the horses. She kept praying, thinking God would fix it.

2696
03:23:04,840 --> 03:23:08,280
But the crops were rotting, the bank was calling every week.

2697
03:23:09,559 --> 03:23:15,040
We were finished. I stared at him, heart pounding so

2698
03:23:15,239 --> 03:23:21,959
hard in heart. She didn't understand, he wrote, eyes going glassy.

2699
03:23:22,920 --> 03:23:27,200
She said, would leave, sell the place for this land.

2700
03:23:27,440 --> 03:23:31,159
It's in my blood, my father's, his father's before him.

2701
03:23:32,000 --> 03:23:35,200
I couldn't just let it die. She said, I was

2702
03:23:35,239 --> 03:23:38,879
losing my mind, that it was just rot, just bad weather,

2703
03:23:39,440 --> 03:23:42,879
nothing to do with the land. Wanting blood, she said,

2704
03:23:42,879 --> 03:23:45,760
she was taking you and leaving. She said she call

2705
03:23:45,840 --> 03:23:50,319
the police if I tried to stop her. His breathing

2706
03:23:50,360 --> 03:23:56,000
grew shallow, rattling in his chest. I didn't plan it,

2707
03:23:56,799 --> 03:24:01,000
he whispered. I couldn't. I couldn't let to take everything.

2708
03:24:02,159 --> 03:24:05,479
I pushed her. She was standing near the loft opening,

2709
03:24:05,879 --> 03:24:11,360
yelling at me. She stumbled back, slipped right through, fell

2710
03:24:11,399 --> 03:24:16,079
down onto the feed bin, broke a neck. I thought

2711
03:24:16,479 --> 03:24:19,840
if the pit took her, maybe it would fix the barley,

2712
03:24:20,239 --> 03:24:25,760
the mold, the animals starving in their pens. So I

2713
03:24:25,879 --> 03:24:31,639
dragged her out there. He blinked, tears streaking down his

2714
03:24:31,680 --> 03:24:37,280
stubbled cheeks. She would have forgiven me, he muttered. She

2715
03:24:37,399 --> 03:24:44,120
always forgave me. Something inside me snapped. My vision went

2716
03:24:44,159 --> 03:24:49,680
hot and dark. I took a step forward, My breath ragged. No,

2717
03:24:50,559 --> 03:24:56,799
I spat, voice sharp enough to cut glass. That's a lie,

2718
03:24:57,000 --> 03:25:02,639
he flinched. You don't understand, he said, voice cracking, as

2719
03:25:02,639 --> 03:25:05,319
if he was arguing with himself just as much as me.

2720
03:25:06,360 --> 03:25:09,200
This farm was all I had left. This land has

2721
03:25:09,239 --> 03:25:12,719
always been my life. If I lost it, what was

2722
03:25:12,799 --> 03:25:18,239
left for me nothing? The anger in me boiled over,

2723
03:25:18,319 --> 03:25:22,760
then furious and cruel, I grabbed his wrist, pulling him

2724
03:25:22,799 --> 03:25:27,000
upright despite his protests, feeling how frail and light had become.

2725
03:25:28,559 --> 03:25:32,280
You murdered her, You murdered everything good that was left.

2726
03:25:33,639 --> 03:25:37,600
I grabbed his wrist. His skin felt thin. He gasped

2727
03:25:37,600 --> 03:25:41,719
as I yanked him upright. His legs buckled, nearly dropping

2728
03:25:41,799 --> 03:25:44,799
him back into the chair, but I held him up,

2729
03:25:45,120 --> 03:25:48,920
feeling how light it had become. And now you want

2730
03:25:48,920 --> 03:25:52,360
me to keep feeling this nightmare like it's some family duty.

2731
03:25:54,000 --> 03:26:02,719
My voice rose sharp with disgust. Fine feed it. He

2732
03:26:02,760 --> 03:26:07,200
shook his head weakly, tears dripping from his chin. Don't

2733
03:26:07,639 --> 03:26:12,280
don't do this, lad, he wheezed. I began pulling him

2734
03:26:12,319 --> 03:26:16,360
towards the door. There was a slight resistance, but nothing

2735
03:26:16,399 --> 03:26:21,600
I couldn't overpower. He stumbled, legs barely holding him up,

2736
03:26:22,440 --> 03:26:25,479
and when we reached the porch steps, he lost his footing,

2737
03:26:25,959 --> 03:26:29,760
collapsing hard onto the rough wood. I dragged him down

2738
03:26:29,760 --> 03:26:34,840
the stairs, skin scraping against splintered planks. He groaned in pain.

2739
03:26:34,920 --> 03:26:41,319
While gasping to catch his breath. But I kept going,

2740
03:26:42,079 --> 03:26:45,680
dragging him through the mud, his worn shoes leaving smears

2741
03:26:45,680 --> 03:26:47,959
in the soil. As he tried to push against the

2742
03:26:48,000 --> 03:26:52,680
ground and free himself from my grip. He twisted and strained,

2743
03:26:53,159 --> 03:26:57,559
a broken thing fighting a losing battle. But I had

2744
03:26:57,600 --> 03:27:02,239
no mercy. The cold marsh air bit to my face

2745
03:27:02,479 --> 03:27:05,120
as we neared the pit, and I could feel his

2746
03:27:05,280 --> 03:27:10,159
ragged breaths hitched with panic. His eyes met mine, pleading

2747
03:27:10,239 --> 03:27:13,600
and wild. For the fury that fueled me was a

2748
03:27:13,719 --> 03:27:19,280
tie too strong to hold back. Why, I shouted as

2749
03:27:19,280 --> 03:27:22,000
I dragged him forward, Why did you hate me so

2750
03:27:22,120 --> 03:27:25,159
much after she was gone? Was it guilt or just

2751
03:27:25,200 --> 03:27:29,559
the land telling you what to do? His eyes flicked

2752
03:27:29,600 --> 03:27:34,239
up to me, wide and glistening with tears. I don't know,

2753
03:27:35,040 --> 03:27:39,159
he whispered, voice breaking like snap twigs. I don't know.

2754
03:27:41,440 --> 03:27:45,079
We reached the pit, the ground soggy beneath my boots,

2755
03:27:45,120 --> 03:27:49,959
soft and slippy. The pit waited there, that sick pole,

2756
03:27:50,120 --> 03:27:55,000
steady beneath the surface. He leaned on me, fragile and worn.

2757
03:27:56,399 --> 03:28:00,879
I hauled him upright one last time. He tremed my grasp,

2758
03:28:01,280 --> 03:28:05,399
his body weak and brittle. His skin was pale and clammy,

2759
03:28:05,879 --> 03:28:08,959
vein standing out like dark cords beneath a thin flesh

2760
03:28:08,959 --> 03:28:13,959
of his hands. He gasped, struggling for breath, a rattling

2761
03:28:14,000 --> 03:28:17,799
wheeze that tore through the stillness. His eyes flickered wild

2762
03:28:17,840 --> 03:28:24,360
and pleading, filled with a desperate, fading life. I shoock muscles,

2763
03:28:24,399 --> 03:28:30,200
tight with fury. Please, he whispered, trembling in my grip,

2764
03:28:30,319 --> 03:28:36,360
and voice ragged, Hi am your father. I locked him

2765
03:28:36,399 --> 03:28:41,200
in the eye, voice cold and hard. What did mom say?

2766
03:28:41,879 --> 03:28:45,120
Did she beg you too? Did he give her any mercy?

2767
03:28:47,479 --> 03:28:50,280
He tried to look away, but I tightened my grip,

2768
03:28:50,719 --> 03:28:55,239
forcing him to meet my eyes. Tears whirled, mixing with

2769
03:28:55,399 --> 03:29:02,559
snot as his shoulders heaved in silent sobs. No, he sputtered.

2770
03:29:03,760 --> 03:29:08,319
The word was so small, so final, She deserved so

2771
03:29:08,520 --> 03:29:14,719
much more. I shoved him forward. He stumbled, caught for

2772
03:29:14,760 --> 03:29:18,559
half a second on the fleshy rim, then slipped into

2773
03:29:18,600 --> 03:29:23,000
the pit. It clung to him, dragging him down inch

2774
03:29:23,079 --> 03:29:27,840
by inch. His arms flailed, nails scraping uselessly at the

2775
03:29:27,920 --> 03:29:31,559
veined walls as the pit swallowed him whole with a wet,

2776
03:29:31,879 --> 03:29:37,360
socking sound. The folds quivered, then sealed over in silence,

2777
03:29:39,360 --> 03:29:43,239
and it was at that moment I realized I was

2778
03:29:43,319 --> 03:29:47,280
more like my father than I ever thought