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Speaker 1: A Mystery with a Moral by Laurence Sterne Introduction to

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a Mystery with a Moral. The next mystery story is

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like no other in these volumes. The edito's defense lies

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in the plea that Laurence Stern is not like other

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writers of English. He is certainly one of the very greatest,

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yet nowadays he is generally unknown. His rollicking, frankness, his

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audacious on conventionality are enough to account for the neglect.

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Even the easy manner at England of seventeen sixty opened

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its eyes in horror when Tristram Shandy appeared a most

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unclerical clergyman. The public pronounced the Rector of Suttin and

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prependary of York. Besides, his style was rambling to the

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last degree. Plot concerned him least of all authors of fiction.

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For instance, it is more than doubtful that the whimsical

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parson really intended a moral to be read into the

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adventures of his se tuentimental journey that follow in these pages.

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He used to declare that he never intended anything. He

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never knew whither his pen was leading. The rash implement,

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once in hand, was likely to fly with him from

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Yorkshire to Italy. Or to Paris, or across the road

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to Uncle Tuppy's. And what could the helpless author do

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but improve each occasion. So here is one such occasion,

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thus improved by disjointed sequels, heedless, one would say, and

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yet glittering with the unreturnable thrust of subtle wit, or

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softening with simple emotion. Like a thousand immortal passages of

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this random philosopher. Even the slightest turns of Sterne's pen

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bear inspiration no less a critique than the severe haslet

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was satisfied that his works consist only of brilliant passages.

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And because the editors of the present volumes found added

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to the mystery not only a solution, but an application

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of worldly with wisdom and a contrast in Sterne's best

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vein of quiet happiness, they have felt emboldened to ascribe

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the passage the mystery with a moral as regards the application,

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stern knew whereof he wrote he sought the south of

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France for health in seventeen sixty two, and was run

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after and fettered by the most brilliant circles of Parisian literature.

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This foreign surgeon failed to cure his long complaint, but

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suggested the idea to him of the Rambling and Charming

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Sentimental Journey. Only three weeks after its publication, on March eighteenth,

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seventeen sixty eight, Stern died alone in his London lodgings.

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Spite of all that marred his genius, his work has

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lived and will live, if only for the exquisite literary

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art which ever made great things out of little. The

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editor A mystery with a moral Parisian experience of parson

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Yorick on his Sentimental Journey a Riddle. I remained at

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the gate of the hotel for some time, looking at

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every one who passed by, and forming conjectures upon them,

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till my attention got fixed upon a single object which

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confounded all kinds of reasoning upon him. It was the

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tall figure of a philosophic, serious adult look which passed

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and repassed sedately along the street, making a turn of

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about sixty paces on each side of the gate of

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the hotel. The man was about fifty two, had a

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small cane under his arm, was dressed in a dark

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drab colored coat, waistcoat, and breeches which seemed to have

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seen some use service. They were still clean, and there

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was a little air of frugal PROPRIETI throughout him by

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his pulling off his hat and his attitude of accosting

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a good man in his way. I saw he was

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asking charity, so I got a soussor two out of

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my pocket, ready to give him as he took me

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in his turn. He passed by me without asking anything.

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And yet he did not go five steps farther before

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he asked charity of a little woman. I was much

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more likely to have given of the two he had

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scarce done with the woman. When he pulled his hat

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off to another who was coming the same way. An

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ancient gentleman came slowly, and after him a young smart one.

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He let them both pass and asked nothing. I stood

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observing him half an hour, in which time he had

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made a dozen turns backward and forward, and found that

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he invariably pursued the same plan. There were two things

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very singular in this, which set my brain to work,

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and to no purpose. The first was why the man

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should only tell his story to the sex, and secondly

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what kind of a story it was, and what species

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of eloquence it could be, which softened the hearts of

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the women which he knew it was to no purpose

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to practice upon the men. There were two other circumstances

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which entangled this mystery. The one was he told every

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woman what he had to say in her ear, and

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in a way which had much more the air of

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a secret than a petition. The other was it was

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always successful. He never stopped a woman, but she pulled

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out her purse and immediately gave him something. I could

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form no system to explain the phenomenon. I had got

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a riddle to amuse me for the rest of the evening.

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So I walked upstairs to my chamber overheard the man

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who either disdains or fears to walk up a dark

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entry may be an excellent good man, and fit for

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a hundred things, but he will not do to make

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a sentimental traveler. I count little of the many things

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I see pass at broad noon day in large and

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open streets. Nature is shy and hates to act before spectators.

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But in such an unobservable corner you sometimes see a

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single short scene of hers worth all the scenter imans

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of a dozen French plays compounded together, and yet they

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are absolutely fine. And whenever I have a more brilliant

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affair upon my hands than common. As they suit a

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preacher just as well as a hero, I generally make

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my sermon out of them, And for the text Cappadoccia, Pontes,

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and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphilia is as good as anyone

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in the Bible. There is a long, dark passage issuing

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out from the opera comique into a narrow street. It

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is trod by a few who humbly wait for a

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fiacre note hackney coach, end of note, or wish to

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get off quietly of food when the opera is done.

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At the end of it, toward the theater tis lighted

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by a small candle, the light of which is almost

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lost before you get half way down. But near the

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door it is more for ornament than use. You see

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it as a fixed star of the least magnitude. It burns,

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but does little good to the world that we know of.

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In returning from the opera, along this passage I discerned,

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as I approached within five or six paces of the door,

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two ladies standing arm in arm with their backs against

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the wall, waiting, as I imagined, for a fiacre. As

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they were next the door, I thought they had a

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prior right. So I edged myself up within a yard

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or little more of them, and quietly took my stand.

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I was in black and scarce seen the lady next

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me was a tall, lean figure of a woman of

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about thirty six, the other of the same size and

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make of about forty. There was no mark of wife

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or widow in any one part of either of them.

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They seemed to be two upright vestal sisters, unsapped by carresses,

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unbroken upon by tender salutations. I could have wished to

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have made them happy. Their happiness was destined that night

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to come from another quarter. A low voice, with a

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good turn of expression, and sweet cattons. At the end

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of it, begged for a twelve sous piece between them.

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For the love of heaven, I thought it singular that

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a beggar should fix the quarter of alms, and that

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the sum should be twelve times as much as well

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is usually given in the dark. They both seemed astonished

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at it, as much as myself. Twelve sous, said one.

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The twelve sou piece, said the other, and made no reply.

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The poor man said he knew not how to ask

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less of ladies of their rank, and bowed down his

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head to the ground. Pooh, said they we have no money.

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The beggar remained silent for a moment or two and

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renewed his supplication. Do not my fair young ladies, said he.

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Stop your good ears against me upon my word. Honest men,

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said the younger. We have no change. Then God bless you,

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said the poor man, and multiply those joys which you

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can give to others without change, I observed the older

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sister put her hand into her pocket. I will see,

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said she. If I have a sou, a sou give twelve,

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said the suppliant nature has been bountiful to you, be

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bountiful to a poor man. I would friend with all

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my heart, said the younger if I had it. My

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fair charitable, said he, addressing himself to the elder. What

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is it but your goodness and humanity which make your

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bright eyes so sweet that they outshine the morning even

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in this dark passage? And what was it which made

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the Marquis de Santerre and his brother say so much

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of you? Both? As they just passed by, the two

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ladies seemed much affected and impulsively at the same time.

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They put their hands into their pockets, and each took

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out a twelve sou piece. The contest between them and

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the poor suppliant was no more. It was continued between themselves,

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which of the two should give the twelve soupiece in charity,

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And to end the dispute, they both gave it together,

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and the men went away solution. I stepped hastily after him.

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It was the very man whose success in asking charity

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of the woman before the door of the hotel had

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so puzzled me, And I found at once his secret,

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or at least the basis of it. It was flattery,

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delicious essence. How refreshing are though to nature? How strongly

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are all its powers and all its weaknesses on thy side?

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How sweetly dost the mix with the blood and help

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it through the most difficult and tortuous passages to the heart.

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The poor man, as he was not straitened for time,

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had given it here in a larger doos. It is

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certainly he had a way of bringing it into less form,

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for the many certain causes he had to do with

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in the streets. But how he contrived to correct, sweeten, consenter,

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and qualify it. I vex not my spirit with the inquiry.

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It is enough the beggar gained two twelve sou pieces,

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and they can best tell the rest to have gained

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much greater matters by it application. We get forward in

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the world, not so much by doing services as receiving them.

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You take a withering twig and put it in the ground,

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and then you water it because you have planted it.

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Monsieur le Comte de Bill, merely because he had done

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me one kindness in the affair of my passport, would

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go on and do me another. A few days he

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was at Paris in making me known to a few

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people of frank and they were to present me to others,

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and so on. I had got master of my secret

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just in time to turn those harness to some little account. Otherwise,

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as is commonly the case, I should have dined or

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subbed a single time or two round, and then, by

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translating French looks and attitudes into plain English, I should

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presently have seen that I had got hold of the

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couvert note, plate, napkin, knife, fork and spoon, and of

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note of some more entertaining guests, and in course of

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time should have resigned all my places one after another,

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merely upon the principle that I could not keep them.

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As it was, things did not go much amiss. I

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had the honor of being introduced to the old Marquis

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de b in days of yore. He had signalized himself

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by some small feats of chivalry in the Cours des Mours,

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and had dressed himself out to the idea of tilts

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and tournaments. Ever since. The Marquis de b wished to

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have it. Thought the affair was somewhere else than in

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his brain. He could like to take a trip to

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England and ask much of the English ladies. Stay where

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you are. I beseech you, Monsieur de Marquis, said I

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le monsieuroneles can scarce get a kind look from them?

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As it is, the Marquis invited me to supper. Monsieur

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p the Farmer General, was just as inquisitive about our taxes.

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They were very considerable, he heard. If we knew but

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how to collect them, said I, making him a low bow.

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I could never have been invited to Monsieur Pile's concerts

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upon any other terms. I had been misrepresented to Madame

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de Quiux as Aesbrit. Madame de Cux was an his

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prit herself she burned with impatience to see me and

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hear me talk. I had not taken my seat before

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I saw she did not care a soue whether I

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had any wit or no. I was led in to

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be convinced. She had I call heaven to witness. I

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never once opened the door of my lips. Madame de

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Ville vowed to every creature she met she had never

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had a more improving conversation with the men in her life.

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There are three epochs in the empire of a frenchwoman.

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She is coquette than the east, than devout. The empire

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during these is never lost. She only changes her subjects

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when thirty five years and more, having peopled her dominion

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of the slaves of love, she rep peoples it with

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slaves of infidelity, and then with the slaves of the church.

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Madame de v was vibrating between the first of these epochs.

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The color of the ruse was fading fast away. She

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ought to have been a dazed five years before the

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time I had the honor to pay my first visit.

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She placed me upon the same sofa with her, for

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the sake of disputing the point of religion more closely.

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In short. Madame de Vie told me she believed nothing.

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I told Madame de vill it might be her principle,

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but I was sure it could not be her interest

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to level the artworks, without which I could not conceive

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how such a citadel as hers could be defended. That

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there was not a more dangerous thing in the world

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than for a beauty to be a yeast, And it

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was a tebt. I owed my creed not to conceal

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it from her that I had not been five minutes

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upon the sofa beside her before I had begun to

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form designs. And what is it but the sentiments of

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religion and the persuasion they had existed in her breast,

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which could have checked them as they rose up. We

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are not adamant, said I, taking hold of her hand,

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and there is need of all restraints till aging her

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own time steals in and lays them on us. But

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my dear lady, said I, kissing her hand. It is

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too too soon. I declare I had the credit all

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over Paris of unperverting Madame de Vie. She affirmed to

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Monsieur d and the abbe M that in one half

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hour I had said more for revealed religion than all

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the encyclopedia had said against it. I was listed directly

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into Madame de Ville's cattery, and she put off the

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epoch of Daism for two years. I remember it was

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in this cuttery, in the middle of a discourse in

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which I was showing the necessity of a first cause,

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that the young Count de Fignan took me by the

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hand to the farthest corner of the room to tell

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me that my solitaire was pinned too straight about my neck.

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It should be plu badino, said the count, looking down

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upon his own But a word, Monsieur euryc to the wise,

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and from the wise, Monsieur le Comte replied, I making

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him a bow is enough. The Count de Fignan embraced

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me with more ardor than ever I was embraced by

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mortal men. For three weeks together, I was of every

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man's opinion. I met Pardi, So Monsieur Eurica wut on

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ispriqua uzutre irison bian said another Sitta. Bonovon said a third,

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And at this price I could have eaten and drunk

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and been merry all the days of my life at Paris.

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But it was a disonest reckoning. I grew ashamed of it.

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It was the gain of a slave. Every sentiment of

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honor revolted against it. The higher I got, the more

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was I forced upon my beggarly system, the better the colery,

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the more children of art I languished for those of nature.

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And one night, after our most vile prostitution of myself

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to half a dozen different people, I grew sick, went

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to bed, and ordered horses in the morning to set

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out for Italy. Contrast, a shoe coming loose from the

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forefoot of the thill horse at the beginning of the

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ascent of Mount Torriira, the postgion dismounted, twisted the shoe

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off and put it in his pocket. As the ascent

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was of five or six miles, and that horse our

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main dependence, I made a point of having the shoe

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fastened on again as well as we could. But the

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postilion had thrown away the nails and the hammer in

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the chaise box. Being of no great use without them,

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I submitted to go on. He had not mounted half

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a mile higher, when coming to a flinty piece of froot,

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the poor devil lost a second shoe, and from off

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his other fore foot. I then got out of the

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chaise in good earnest, and, seeing a house about a

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quarter of a mile to the left hand, with a

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great deal to do, iveiled upon the postilion to turn

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up to it. The look of the house and of

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everything about it, as we drew nearer, soon reconciled me

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to the disaster. It was a little farmhouse, surrounded with

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about twenty acres of vine yard, about as much corn,

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and close to the house. On one side was a

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potagerie of an acre and a half full of everything

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which could make plenty in a French peasant's house. And

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on the other side was a little wood which furnished

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wherewithal to dress it. It was about eight in the

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evening when I got to the house, so I left

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the postinion to manage his point as he could, and

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for mine I walked directly into the house. The family

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consisted of an old gray headed man and his wife,

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with five or six sons and sons in laws, and

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their several wives, and a joyous genealogy out of them.

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They were all sitting down together to their lentil soup.

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A large wheaten loaf was in the middle of the table,

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and a flaten of wine at each end of it

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promised joy through the stages of the repast. It was

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a feast of love. The old man rose up to

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meet me, and with a respectful cordiality, would have me

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sit down at the table. My heart was set down

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the moment I entered the room. So I sat down

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at once, like a son of the family, and to

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invest myself in the character as speedily as I could,

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I instantly burrowed the old man's knife, and taking up

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the loaf, cut myself a hearty luncheon. And as I

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did it, I saw it testimony in every eye, not

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only of an honest welcome, but of a welcome mixed

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with thanks that I had not seemed to doubt. It

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was it this, or tell me nature, what else it

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was that made this morsel so sweet? And to what magic?

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I owe it that the droat I took of their

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flagon was so delicious with it that they remained upon

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my pallet to this hour. If the supper was to

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my taste, the grace which followed it was much more so.

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When supper was over, the old man gave a knock

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upon the table with the haft of his knife to

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bid them prepare for the dance. The moment the signal

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was given, the women and girls ran all together into

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a back apartment to tie up their hair, and the

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young men to the door to wash their faces and

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change their seboats. And in three minutes every soul was

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ready upon a little esplanade before the house to begin.

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The old man and his wife came out last, and,

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placing me betwixt them, sat down upon a sofa of

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turf by the door. The old man had, some fifty

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years ago been no mean performer upon the vielle note

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a small violin such as was used by the wandering

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janclars of the middle aged editor end of note. And

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at the age he was enough touched well enough for

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the purpose. His wife sang now and then a little

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to the tune, then intermitted and joined her old men again,

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as their children and grandchildren danced before them. It was

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not till the middle of the second dance, when, from

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some poses in the movement wherein they all seemed to

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look up, I fancied I could distinguish an elevation of

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spirit different from that which is the cause or the

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effect of simple jollity. In a word, I thought I

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beheld religion mixing in the dance. But as I had

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never seen her so engaged, I should have looked upon

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it now as one of the illusions of an imagination

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which is eternally misleading me. Had not. The old man,

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as soon as the dance ended, said that this was

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their constant way, and that all his life long he

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had made it a rule after supper was over, to

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call out his family to dance and rejoice. Believing. He

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said that a cheerful and contented mind was the best

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sort of things to heaven that an illiterate peasant could

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pay or learned prelate either, said I. When you have

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gained the top of Mount Terira, you run presently down

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to lyons Addiere, then to all rapid movements. It is

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a journey of caution, and it fares better with sentiments

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not to be in a hurry with them. So I

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contracted with a vulterine to take his time with a

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couple of mules and convey me in my own chaise

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safe to Turin through savoy, poor, patient, quiet, honest people,

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fear not your poverty. The treasury of your simple virtues

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will not be envied you by the world, nor will

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your values be invaded by it nature in the midst

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of thy disorders, though art still friendly to the scantiness,

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Though as created with all thy great works about thee

382
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little hast thou left to give either to the scythe

383
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or to the sickle, But to that little The grandest

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safety and protection and sweet are the dwellings which stand

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so sheltered