Speaker 1: In the year two thousand seven fourteen, a new squad
of Opera Davis was chosen by the College of Illusion.
These fools promptly went on to frustrate their DM at
every opportunity. Today, still working together because really who else
would work with them? They survive as adventurers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help,
and if you can find them, maybe you can hire
the Second Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2: Tony Kinney as Eddie.
Speaker 3: Falzoni, Jess Owen as a deer a Glow, Michael Cole
as Urag and.
Speaker 4: Jesse Wicks as Bill Crilliance.
Speaker 3: Nico Rodriguez as your DM.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the continuing tales of a Fool's Quest.
Speaker 3: All right, welcome back to Season eight of of fools Quest. Yeah, so,
where we last left off, you guys were all doing
your twenty four hours of rest and relaxation and then
you had to meet back at the in front of
the High Council with the Dean to speak on behalf
of Valley. So you all completed those tasks that you did.
Some of you guys spent some money, some of your gold,
so we'll want to make sure to you have so
much gold. Now I don't even know how relevant it was.
You have an awful lot.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we haven't even talked about money in a long time, so.
Speaker 3: You're very rich people.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you're gonna need flush fun.
Speaker 3: You're gonna need to invest some of that in some
long term stocks.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be great.
Speaker 5: Or pay for housing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right to talk to So you have been
woken up in the morning and they had asked you
to come down from your house. You still have your
house for your click, and they had asked you to
meet up with the high Illusionists that we're going to
be discussing reinstating Valley and what you were going to do. Well,
you elected to go to the abjuration nation, and so
they wanted to talk to you guys about those things.
So here we are. It is morning time. The students,
the younger accolytes took off and they after waking you up,
and you all are in your house. Is there anything
you want to do to prepare?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm roll off my couch and put my sock on,
and then go get the other one off the outside
of the doorknob and put that on. You know, just
just get dressed in whatever laundry is laying around. Head
on out.
Speaker 4: He comes out wearing fracks mom's blouse.
Speaker 2: It's like her.
Speaker 6: Dress hanging from the ceiling. Fans, Why is it always
somebody's mom every camp.
Speaker 5: Give him a high five.
Speaker 4: You've got to be more responsible. Now you're a father.
Speaker 6: Heck, maybe your new dad.
Speaker 3: All right, So you make your way down to the
High Council right the Dean's chamber. As you come in,
the Dean is sitting there. You do see Valley is
already there with them, and Dean Smelting says, welcome back.
It is really nice to see you, and I hope
you all have gotten the appropriate rest and relaxation before
you must embark on your next year.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good.
Speaker 6: I got a handful of those mushroom cookies.
Speaker 3: Well, I recounted your travels to the rest of the
High Illusionists here with Valley. She gave us an accounting
of the things that it went on. Helped fill in
the gaps from what you had already discussed with me
earlier on, and I thank you for what you've contributed.
He's being a little bit more formal with the other
High Illusionists here, and he goes down the road and
he says, you all remember high illusionists Kibbie, She's the
one who's like always around him, and then there's high
illusionist Marcos, Fizz KiB and Garfuncle. They will be the
council today acting to speak either for or against the Valley.
Is there anything that you would like to present in
a to what you've already done on her behalf to
the council.
Speaker 2: M I think we give a pretty good accounting of things.
I mean, Valley acted with integrity and valor. It really
helped out the illusination on our journey.
Speaker 5: And she's tough as hell.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's too. She got ran over by a cart
and heavy.
Speaker 5: It was looted. Might have been on purpose, maybe the
first time.
Speaker 4: It would also be very helpful to have her connections
when we make our way to the abjuration nation.
Speaker 2: She wasn't poison for like a half a bat diarrhea.
And yeah, as Bill said, she may have valuable connections
if we end up in the adjuration nation.
Speaker 3: I agree. I personally agree with that, though some of
the other high allusions are still a little leary considering
those connections. But I think we are at a point
now where we need to be vigilant with those that
we keep around us and keeping our group. I don't
think we can cut people from the illusionists quite as
easily as we used to, right, all right, Well, if
you have nothing else to add, I just for the record, Uh,
you know, the four of you believe Valley should be
reinstated and she is not a threat to the Illusionist nation,
correct yea Burner? Oh I okay, Well, I am going
to adjourin this council for a small recess. Go ahead
and wait out in the hallway while we deliberate, and
then we'll call you back in to let you know
what our final decision is. So please see yourselves out. Valley,
go with them, and we'll call you back in just
a few moments.
Speaker 2: Value, oh, Value was here.
Speaker 4: You are We're still not paying you?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 3: So they go out and Valley is like, hey, guys,
thanks for saying all that nice stuff about me. I
really appreciate that.
Speaker 2: It's just the truth, Valley, Cookie, how's the how's the
leg uh?
Speaker 3: You know, could be better? So, hey, I wanted to
let you guys know I did receive a communication from
my sister. Do you remember Illusionist Firrington from New City. Yeah, yeah, okay.
They sent a correspondent saying that my sister Jamie Pond
was actually in New City and she came with another
abduror named Frankie Mortar.
Speaker 2: Well that's great news because you know, New City being
on the border like that, it's it's nice that there's
some friendly interaction. And also that your sister's okay. I
know you were worried about her, so.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a wonderful news. I'm very excited to hear
that that she's safe. I also did write together a letter.
I don't know if I'm going with you or not.
After talking to the high Illusionists here, they they might
be reinstating me with someone else, so I don't really know,
but I wrote a letter to you for you just
in case you do go that if you because I
heard you're going to the Abduration Nation.
Speaker 2: Correct, Yes, that's the plan.
Speaker 3: Well here's a letter. Would you mind delivering this to
my sister for me?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 6: You bet. Isn't that what you got in trouble for
last time?
Speaker 3: Yeah? But you guys know that I'm legitimate and it's
only there's nothing damning that's going to be in this right,
so it would be nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can do that, thank you.
Speaker 3: Also, did you hear I don't know, I know you
guys were all kind of doing random things yesterday, but
did you hear that the Potters and Bells have both
graduated to full clicks. They'll be hosting their graduation parties
this weekend, much like the graduation party you all had already.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's gonna delay, it's taken off all right, or cooking.
I do you even want to miss this firstborn's graduation?
You could have to buyamouth, first horse or whatever. I think.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yep. So, and I've heard that the Bells are
going to the Transmutation Nation on the Dairy Coast. They're
going there. Apparently the Conjuration Nation has built a huge army,
so they've amassed huge armies. They haven't attacked, but they
are definitely all across the border there. So that's where
the Bells are going to be going. And then the
Potters are going to be going on a more dangerous
mission to the Divination Nation that's the one that's been
also been attacked by what we believe to be the evocres,
and so they're going to go there and kind of
get a read on the situation. They're going to go
there and get a read on the situation and report back. Plus,
we're missing some communication with some of our other illusionists
in the Divination Nation, so we need to find out
if they're doing well or not. So that's what the
Potters are doing. And then and then yeah, I I
don't know if you guys are doing anything before you
leave here, but I have a friend here in town
that owes me a favor, and because you guys did
this huge favorite for me, I'd like to extend that
to you. They are they own a magic shop in
town here, and I know we found some stuff that
we didn't really know what it was. Maybe they could
identify some of that stuff for you before you go.
Speaker 2: That'd be fantastic, we could, We could definitely use the help.
Speaker 3: Cool. Yeah, So the name of the the guy and
his shop is Gluteus Maximus, and they can identify those
different items like that warlocks rod that you found. It's
kind of so just let him know that you're cashing
in the favor that he owes to me, and he
should be able to take care of you.
Speaker 2: Okay, you.
Speaker 3: Do you guys have a plan for going into the Abjuration.
Speaker 2: Nation, Well, not yet. I'm thinking New City with your
sister there and another after though it might be uh
might be in Avenue. Just might be nice to be
able to open that friendly rapport. And you know, it's
pretty important place too, that grow.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I like that grove.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there should be some healing potions coming out of
it soon. I would hope by the time you get
back there some of them might be ready.
Speaker 2: I've been very handy. Well, I'm thinking maybe we can,
you know, get the word of what's going on in
the Abjuration Nation there and see where we go from there.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, well, I'm hoping that I'm going to go
with you guys still, but just in case, I kind
of wanted to touch base and figure stuff out.
Speaker 2: So, yeah, do you have any advice as far as
how we should proceed if you are unable to accompany us?
Speaker 3: I mean, if you're going to well, if you're going there,
hopefully my sister might be able to give you a
better idea. I haven't been there in the last decade,
but from what I remember that was there, I mean,
most of the cities are pretty well fortified. Most of
them are forts. The farming communities are all pretty well warded.
So as long as you kind of maybe navigate away
from the major cities that have been sacked and stick
to the smaller stuff, you might be able to get
in and get a get a read on what's happening
in the town.
Speaker 2: We'll keep it in mind then, all right.
Speaker 3: So then the dean opens the door and he's like,
we're ready to see you.
Speaker 2: If you guys, dean, you should be careful with this thing.
I'm gonna pull the Lama turkey, the plumba turkey Lama
turkey out of my pocket because you know I borrowed it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you should be careful.
Speaker 2: I just found this on the floor in the hallway
out here.
Speaker 3: You found the magic item. Library burns down one time,
and now magic items just keep getting strewn all over
the building. Yes, thank you for recovering that.
Speaker 2: Yeh, you're welcome. Yeah here, I'll take that and charge
it for that one.
Speaker 3: All right, come on in, let's uh, we've come to
a decision, all right. So he leads you back in
and he says, all right, on account of Valley, the
council unanimously agreed that you are to be reinstated. Our
concerns right now with Valley proceeding with your group is
that there are already four of you in a group,
and the Potters only have three in their group. So
we would actually move Valley to the Potters and have
them have her accompany them, and you will be going
to the Divination Nation. They need more reinforcement.
Speaker 6: So aboo.
Speaker 7: Yeah, well that's saying we got We've got rapport with Bally,
and I don't think they did well.
Speaker 6: If they're going to the Divination Nation, if they contact
the Cranes, Bally has a rapport with them.
Speaker 2: That's true. Bally might be able to help them out.
Speaker 6: She did stay with them that most of that weekend.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I love the Cranes and I know where
they live too, so yeah, they're all right. I could
probably make contact with them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess that makes sense.
Speaker 6: Well, Vale, wish you the best of luck.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so we get Harry then? Oh god, no, all right, Well,
VALI here's your letter saying that you're being reassigned to
the Potters. And he just hands a small piece of
paper that they wrapped up or they put together real quick.
He slides and he says, we look forward to hearing
about your progress and the Divination Nation value. You are
excused go find the Potters please and report to them immediately.
You'll need to start packing and and she's like okay, yeah,
thank you. So she grabs the letter and leaves, and
the Dean says, now for you four, I've got some
news about your mission as well. How are you feeling
about it? First though, are you feeling okay, trepidacious? Yes,
I we've heard that the infinite Scroll of Abjuration was
recovered by the evokers, but what we're really looking for
is confirmation of that and what they are doing with it. Also,
thanks to the information you brought back about New City
and the Grove, we've decided to dispatch five hundred of
our best soldiers from here to New City. So General
Cadbury will be tagging along with you to New City
for your journey, so please make sure to meet up
with him and his group. Obviously you do not report
to him, he is straight military, but you can travel
together and that should reduce any chances of demon attacks
while you travel. You said there were still quite a
few demons out in the.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and they're all kind of between here and
New City too, but you know, at least there won't
be more either. Maybe if there is an even attack, well,
but that's less of them out there.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I mean, if you see any and you're
traveling with an entire army, it might be good to
you know, get them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure, we wouldn't run into demons and just
walk away. Obviously, it's not that's not like us.
Speaker 2: That'd be crazy. Maybe I should go. We came across.
Speaker 5: Probably, I'm never going to miss an opportunity to glow.
Speaker 3: I'm just saying, speaking of which, you look like you're glowing.
What have you done for the last twenty four hours?
Speaker 5: Done you.
Speaker 4: Nothing?
Speaker 6: Eddie?
Speaker 3: You also have a glow.
Speaker 5: That's how rumors starts.
Speaker 3: Shut your mouth, Sorry, it's just the blouse.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 3: Refugee camps are being built around New City. Reports have
come in that more and more refugees are fleeing the
abjuration nation and coming into into our country, and they
are building up more secure walls around the grove. So
it looks like we're utilizing not only their magicians, but
also many of their construction workers know how to build fortifications,
which is something that we here have very limited knowledge on.
Considering our country and most of our people are more nomadic.
Speaker 6: It pleases me that they're going to protect.
Speaker 2: The grove same.
Speaker 3: We need those resources. If we have no healers, we're
going to have to have something. Find out what you
can find about the infinite page of abduration. If they
have it, don't try to don't try to get it
back unless you see an opportunity. Instead, report back to us.
Do you have any of those scrolls yet? And contact
the dean me scrolls?
Speaker 2: No, we use the last one to contact you. I think.
Speaker 3: Okay, Kibbi, can you and me one of those scrolls?
And she hands you one, and her hands one to
you Dean and he hands it over to you and says, here,
you use this when you found out about the infinite
scroll of abduration. If you think you can recover it again,
do it, but do not put any Do not put
yourself in any more danger than what you need to.
If they don't have the infinite Page of abduration, try
to find out where it is and recover it.
Speaker 2: If that's the case, all right, we are we're gonna
need that same wagon. Okay, all right then I like
that wagon.
Speaker 6: Okay, yeah, barely doesn't.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, she loves that won.
Speaker 3: Other soldiers, Yeah, you'll have the soldiers don't really have
like a bunch of horses, but some of them will,
so you can.
Speaker 6: You can get those.
Speaker 4: Well. Need need horses for both of the wagons.
Speaker 2: Both wagons. Both wagons need a.
Speaker 3: Horse, So you need a second wagon.
Speaker 4: I have a second wagon.
Speaker 3: I just need a.
Speaker 4: Horse, Okay, preferably a pretty one.
Speaker 3: Okay, all your hats.
Speaker 4: It does have a wardrobe in it, just hats. There
would be shirts and pants. But I have the best
vest and it takes care of that.
Speaker 3: You do have the best vest, all right? Is there
anything else you'll need?
Speaker 6: M hot pockets?
Speaker 4: Okay? Certainly a couple of pouches full of golden We
need some fun.
Speaker 6: Spending money.
Speaker 5: Okay, this is for you after all?
Speaker 3: Enough, y no, I'll what do we think three hundred
gold each?
Speaker 2: It's a little rough out there, and we're gonna be
in hostile territory. We might have to make bribes and things.
I guess we could probably make deal with three hundred,
but it'll be tight. We'll just have to We'll just
have to make deal with it, you guys.
Speaker 4: But I do need the I do need the supply
of gold leaf.
Speaker 3: Okay, how much gold leaf do you need?
Speaker 4: Thirty pounds the six by three bucks?
Speaker 3: Okay, well that is that?
Speaker 4: What's six by three feeder inches it?
Speaker 3: There's a different meters.
Speaker 6: Cubits.
Speaker 4: There's five plants worth, okay, five plants worth.
Speaker 3: Okay, we can make that happen. Yes, requisition the horse,
requisition the golden leaf, and that would be twelve hundred
in gold for a petty cash for you. Anything else, Oh,
hot pockets will be supplied by the army. There will
be some cooks and stuff coming along. There will also
be a couple of armorers, a couple weapons masters army.
Hot pockets are the worst, the mrs.
Speaker 4: Dehydrate HPI hot pockets ready to eat HP.
Speaker 6: It's like a ration, formal ration.
Speaker 4: What's happening?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 3: Well, good luck to you and your endeavor.
Speaker 2: Yeah you too. Oh, well, when do we leave? When's
the when's the uh?
Speaker 3: The General Cadbury, when you meet with him, you'll tell
him when you're ready to leave, and they will leave.
Then it's your call. Oh, you're the leaders of this mission.
Speaker 2: Oh all right.
Speaker 3: Cadbury is only going as far as New City, though
he's not to accompany you into the abjuration nation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. I just assume he had a schedule.
But it's a it's all on our schedule. That's great.
We got to stay for the parties.
Speaker 6: Okay, second breakfast, Yeah, okay, eleven's easy.
Speaker 3: Well you're dismissed.
Speaker 2: Oh all right, all right, be careful with those magic items, man.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he puts a balmaturgy lama turkey in his jacket pocket.
I'm hanging on to you.
Speaker 2: Uh, all right, I'm gonna go learn the message of
the Dean spell from this. No, I'm just kidding. I'm
not gonna do that.
Speaker 4: Why not while well.
Speaker 6: Learn it from the scroll and then just like keep
a piece of paper and pretend you're using it every
time you cast it.
Speaker 2: No, I don't know if it'll If it'll a I'll
be able to learn it from the sul scroll, but
I don't want to. Why would you not destroy the scroll?
Speaker 3: I make him roll for it. Oh, he has to
roll to see if he learns it.
Speaker 4: Well, if if you can't, then just tell him it
got stolen or whatever.
Speaker 6: Just do it before we go.
Speaker 5: And supposed to tell him he won't be able to communicate.
Speaker 4: When we get back, obviously.
Speaker 6: Just tell the Dean you were cleaning it and it
went off.
Speaker 2: It'll be.
Speaker 4: It'll be that much more surprising and heroic when we
show up back home after not having heard from us
in a long enough time that they assume we're dead,
and here we come with the other pages of infinite.
Speaker 2: That's true. That's true.
Speaker 4: I can write a hell of a poem.
Speaker 2: It's we're going to replace the wagon, one part at
a time.
Speaker 4: The Wagon of the the I don't know why I
was thinking the and that's not even a real name.
I don't think I came up with that on the spot. Yeah,
oh all right, So we're gonna go to the thing,
are you gonna yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah. Are they having those combined or are.
Speaker 3: They back to back or at the same time or yeah,
they're they're at the same time. We're trying to get
it done quickly so that they can go on with
their missions.
Speaker 2: So it's just like one party for both groups. Or
is it two separate parties?
Speaker 3: One party for both groups?
Speaker 2: Oh cool? So we'd like to, yeah, congratulate them, especially Frank.
Speaker 6: I'd like to drink.
Speaker 2: That's you.
Speaker 4: Probably didn't need to drink.
Speaker 6: I don't need to, but I like it.
Speaker 3: You're dismissed the second time. You guys are still here.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, you too, Thanks for coming.
Speaker 4: You have a good data.
Speaker 5: We just like to stand around. Should we go to
the cafeteria. That's where we have some really good ideas.
What time is it? What are we doing right now?
Speaker 3: It's still morning time.
Speaker 6: The last time we were we got attacked by food school.
Speaker 4: Well, we do have to make this day last twelve
more episodes. I think.
Speaker 3: The cafeteria our heroes will return after these messages. Hey there,
it's Nico again. If you'd like to skip the ads
next time, as well as support our show, you should
check out our Patreon. All levels get ad free listening,
where you get to skip all the commercials, and then
there are a bunch of other features depending on what
tier you go with. Check out the link at www
dot a fools quest dot com. And now that the
commercials are out of the way, it's time to dive
back into the foolishness, all right, So off to the
cafeteria for our first breakfast. There is the cafeteria lady,
the lunch lady. She's there in all our glory gravy
gravy stains on her shirt. I'm gonna go see if
she's doing anything during the party later next in line catering. Oh, Bill,
look at you. It's good to see you back, isn't it?
Isn't it just I want to find best you've got?
Speaker 4: That's the best, best?
Speaker 3: Actually, you want a second helping of biscuits and gravy.
Speaker 4: I would love more sloppings here, it is, so why
are the biscuits wet and the gravy dry? That's I
don't It's amazing how you can do that.
Speaker 3: I only cook this this way for the best. You
hear the best?
Speaker 4: You come into the graduation.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'll be there. Yeah, I'll pick you up.
I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't. What time does it start?
Speaker 2: Oh she knows.
Speaker 4: What time are you going to be there?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Well, I gotta cook so and then I'll go home
and get changed into my good apron. You do love
a good age fan.
Speaker 2: Some kind of sauce.
Speaker 6: It's a black lace.
Speaker 4: Well, i'll pick you up ten minutes after the party's
supposed to start.
Speaker 6: We have to be fashionably, right, deal.
Speaker 3: I'll even let my hair down.
Speaker 4: No, I like the body that.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know why.
Speaker 4: I'm learning something about myself right now.
Speaker 6: But all right, we don't we don't kink shame around here.
Speaker 4: Well, I'll bring her. You can bring Frag's mom.
Speaker 2: She'll be there anyway.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, her kids graduating a deer can bring uh
who's his name again?
Speaker 5: Delbert?
Speaker 4: Delbert? You can bring Delbert and uh, oh can get
the broom.
Speaker 5: I'd have to send word to Delbert and I have
to send an invite.
Speaker 2: Yepar it alright, and we should probably down to glueas maximus.
Speaker 6: Shock your maximus.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you don't know where to put your and your senses.
Speaker 2: Did we get a location of where the scroll was
taken from in the Auration nation? Nope?
Speaker 6: No, where is that not known?
Speaker 3: It's not known.
Speaker 5: It's private mission.
Speaker 4: Okay, should we accept it?
Speaker 3: You just you know that they the evokers sacked the majors,
the main city, like the hub city for the Abjuration nation,
so it's just kind of assumed when they sacked it
that I mean, you have all all of your stuff
is like in a private room that people can just
get to. So if the Abjurs had something similar where
their college is, then they're assuming it was recovered by
the evokers, but it hasn't been confirmed. That's what you're
to go do.
Speaker 6: All right, let's get our party on Garth, all right.
Speaker 3: So Magic Magic Shop, Glutias Maximus, you guys, Yeah, we'll
show up, Gludius Maximus. You guys have all seen the
shot before. I don't know some of you might have
even come in here and perused a lot of It's
just kind of trinkets and neat little bobbles. Not a
lot of like real serious magic stuff that you would
use for like combat or an adventure or stuff like that.
These are kind of little trinkets that they sell to
rich people, you know, Like there's a magic tarot deck,
and there's a you know, magic little fan that you
can you know, it puts cold air out, so when
you switch the fan back and forth, it actually makes
your face cold. Little things like that, Right, But yeah,
you see Gludias and he's just chilling behind the counter.
How can I help you?
Speaker 2: Ye? Hey, I believe that you and we have a
mutual friend in person of Valley Pond.
Speaker 3: Oh, yes, Valley, she's wonderful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she's wonderful. Seems Valley's under the impression you
owe her a favor, and since she owes us a favorite,
she said we could have that one.
Speaker 3: That's very true. I do owe her a favor. She's
letting you cash it in for her now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she gave us her chit so to speak.
Speaker 3: Oh fantastic. Okay, Well, I like crossing IOU's off the list,
so I'd be happy to help if I can, if
it's within my means. What do you need from me?
Speaker 2: Well, we got some magic items we'd like you to
take a look at because we're not sure what all
of them do. And well we'd like to.
Speaker 3: Be Kay, well, let me get my own magic item out.
It's a monacle of seeing. I should be able to
put this on and take a look and see what
your magic items are. He does. He grabs a little
box and it's under's desk. Skinny pulls the key off,
the keychain, unlocks the box, pulls out a little monocle
and puts it in his eye and he says, all right,
what's the first man? I got a mute like me
to look out?
Speaker 5: I don't even know.
Speaker 2: I don't seem to have them written.
Speaker 5: Now, we had an.
Speaker 3: Amulet of things that you guys have found that you
didn't identify about.
Speaker 5: The amulet from the Lord commander.
Speaker 3: Yep, Anchoby's amulet of command. That is Oh wait, that's
so yeah, Anchoby's emulet.
Speaker 6: Yes, that one.
Speaker 3: So you hand it over and he says, well, this
is a hideous looking demonic item here.
Speaker 2: But demon.
Speaker 3: Oh really, that's a story I'd love to hear about.
Speaker 5: Lord commander demon.
Speaker 3: Oh, and you beat him severely. That's fantastic. There was
that here in this lovely nation.
Speaker 2: This isn't the nation. It wasn't in town.
Speaker 3: Oh that's good. If a demon army was here in town,
that would be very bad. Yes, all right, let's take
a look. Let's see what it does. Whoa. It looks
like this specific ambulant allows you to give one short
command and the intentions are inferred commands like something simple,
not too over the top. You can't say, I'd like
you to go into the privy and dunk your head
into the poop and wash your hair with poop for
an hour, like that's just way too much. But you
can do simple commands like.
Speaker 2: Go give yourself a swirly.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm mistinking more things like shut up or sit
down or be calm. Yeah, simple things like that that
can help. Two words you have to put it. Put
it in two words for your command poop, shampoo, don't
hit h and I it does look like there are
some safety features on this. I know it's boring, but
it looks like you cannot cause the target to harm
themselves or someone they consider to be an ally Okay,
And as far as the game goes, you roll your
two D six and you use your charisma stat with it,
and a ten plus is successful. Obviously a seven to
nine is successful, but the target is pissed at you
that your mind fuck them. After the mind fuck wears
off and then six or less, the target there's no impact,
but they are aware. They are aware that you try
to mind fuck them, so fu Yeah, it's a very
interesting amulet. I can see why a demon would have
it because of some got pissed to him. He'd probably
just cut them in half.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he did. That was kind of hobby his. I think, yeah,
what else we got?
Speaker 5: Do we have a cloak?
Speaker 3: Also, cloaks are so large and cumbersome. Let me see
it brant here. This cloak looks like, ooh, it's a
nice room right here. It's a reversible cloak. You can
turn it inside or out. That's nice. Ah, it looks
like it's heating or cooling, so on one way it's
nice and warm. And if you turn around and reverse it,
it's nice and cool. Not too extreme for the temperatures
it looks like. But this cloak could definitely keep you
in better shape than when most when other people would
be too cold or too hot, it would protect protect
you from most environments. And I'm not saying like have
a lava party or anything in it, but you know
what I'm getting at. You're in a jungle. Turn it
into the cool side, walk around. Your friends are jealous,
It's fine.
Speaker 4: I bet we turn it into a pillowcase. Always have
the colne.
Speaker 2: What about the day we had we had a rod
from the warlock?
Speaker 3: Oh, yes, the ro Bring me your rod. Let me
see it.
Speaker 2: Here it is.
Speaker 3: Oh, this is a nice size rod stout. It's very thick.
Speaker 2: I like it.
Speaker 3: Huh. Oh this this has a lot of magic on it. Wow, flatterer. So,
first of all, this rod can be used as a
spellcasting focus. I don't know if any of you would
be interested in doing that, or if you're of the
spell casting type, but you could use this as a
focus if you needed one.
Speaker 2: Might know someone great.
Speaker 3: It's also something known as an immovable rod. Are you
familiar with that?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, So for up to thirty minutes
in a day, though, there is a limitation here. Do
you see this rune right here? And Layman terms it
means thirty minutes, so you can activate it and you
can activate it for a minute at a time. It's
totally fine, but don resets the thirty minutes. So if
you use it for six minutes and then you deactivate it,
you have twenty four minutes left until dawn. Are you
getting my drift?
Speaker 5: Continue?
Speaker 3: God, you guys must be very astute. Okay, let's see
what else. It has one charge here. It looks like
this charge can create a physical inanimate object. It has
a twenty five chance to recharge at dawn as well.
You see this ruin right here. That's that's what dawn.
We keep seeing it over and over again. The rod
is recharged at dawn.
Speaker 2: What kind of object.
Speaker 3: It looks like You can do anything that you imagine.
If you want a door there, you could create a
door out of thin air. If you wanted to make
a boulder there. You could do that as well.
Speaker 4: We've already got one of those.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it looks like there's a weight limitation of one
thousand pounds heavy. That is heavy. Oh you meant the
thousand pounds. I just thought you meant in general. Yeah,
both again, and then finally, right up here, you see
this little button right here. If you activate that, it's
going to do spell. It's going to cast out of it. Well,
it's when you're using it as a spell casting conduit.
If you use it and you are successful with your
spell cast, there's a chance that your spell will actually
be converted should you choose to a finger of death,
and it will store the Finger of Death spell until
you release it with that button right there, the one
I was just talking about. So you cast just spell,
if it's successful, you have a slight chance that it
will also store one Finger of death spell, which does
a lot of damage to really small people.
Speaker 5: What the hell?
Speaker 3: Okay, just for you guys all, No finger of Death
will do seventy six damn holy shit, Jesus yikes on
a ten plus it would hit the okay, and it's
when you rolling that twelve. So when you roll in
that twelve the rod will store a finger of Death spell.
So if you're casting a spell at all with the
rod at all, it will store a spell in there.
If you get a twelve and then you just got
to release it, it can only the charge lasts for
up to ten minutes sweet that it stores, so if
you're like, if you kill something or something like, you
can save it for another ten minutes to fight something else.
You know, you don't have to use it immediately. And
then for finger of Death, when you release it, a
ten plus hits with a seventy six damage. On a
seven and nine it hits, but it only causes half damage.
So seventy six in half and then a six in
under is a miss from the Finger of Death. And
so who does this rod belong to?
Speaker 2: Oh? We know someone.
Speaker 3: Oh, well, when you give it to him, let them know.
It's called the Heavenly Staff. That's what these rooms down
at the bottom.
Speaker 2: Mean, the Heavenly Staff.
Speaker 3: The Heavenly Staff.
Speaker 2: That's a nice name. All right, we'll do.
Speaker 3: This Runic work is draconic in nature, Just so you know.
I don't know if that's important for what you're doing.
Speaker 2: I hope not.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, is there anything else that I can do
for you to help out, anything else that we can
identify or is this favor considered?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 5: I think we got a couple more items. Wait, do
we know what the snow globe of sky Ring and
the poker healing.
Speaker 3: Is the snow globe you gave to the Dean? Okay,
that was to be able to scry on other nations,
and that is a very illegal item to own. I
think that's okay.
Speaker 5: I'm not finding anything else.
Speaker 3: Well, if you see Valley, let her know. I said
thank you for you know, such an easy favor to return,
and it's nice to not have to do anything uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure it is. Well, we'll let her know. No,
let's let's head on out of here. I don't think
we got anything else to accomplish right at the moment.
Speaker 6: Let's try to walk out the store without knocking anything over.
Speaker 2: All.
Speaker 3: Right, Well, I have a good day.
Speaker 2: Yeah you too, Maximus.
Speaker 3: Mister Maximus, Yes, yes, that's my name at my shop. Bye.
When an ask, so you guys have identified all those
things which would have cost five hundred gold per item
to do you noise?
Speaker 2: Oh man, we barely could have afforded to pay for that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, especially with the limited funds that the college is
giving us. Jeez, expect us.
Speaker 2: I think I would like to keep that rod the
Heavenly Staff.
Speaker 5: Oh, of course you would. Everyone, It's only the coolest
weapon there is.
Speaker 3: Sure, go ahead, and that robe will work. Like I said,
in extreme situations, it will work. And if it gets
too extreme, I'll make you do a role on it
to see if it it ends up failing or not.
But you can use it for like, you know, if
somebody's casting a cold spell and you know that's there, like,
you can use that to negate some of the damage.
That sort of thing. Nice, don't cast your spell. Hold
on a moment, I need to put on a cloak.
Speaker 5: Hold on, I'm not dressed for this.
Speaker 6: Well, build doesn't match your hat.
Speaker 4: Everything matches my hat. I can just change my hat,
that's fair. I have it in every color. I commissioned
a specific wardrobe wagons. My endgame for this character is
to just turn into what was the evil way Weighty
from the Emperor's.
Speaker 5: In a group, put your hands in the air.
Speaker 2: The lady.
Speaker 6: It looks just like her. Yeah, it's it's creepy.
Speaker 4: How close she You're gonna do the party then Cadbury
even get out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's h let's go shopping a little bit too, Ok,
go shopping. I want to see if I can find
any of those Red Pop scrolls around just in case. Hmmm,
so that one might be wearing out on the wagon.
Speaker 6: Wasn't that a specialty item that the Divination guy the
Cranes made game to us?
Speaker 2: He didn't, I mean, he didn't make it, But I
don't know if it's like only available in the Divination Nation.
Let's see. I'm gonna ask around it. So ill pop
back into.
Speaker 3: Gloots, welcome back?
Speaker 2: Hey, anywhere I can get a Red Pop scroll.
Speaker 3: Let's make a roll for this. Let's see if you
find it with a roll, that would be uh parlay.
We'll do a parlay roll. See if he's got it.
Just see what the chances are, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Ye, that's an eight.
Speaker 3: Yes, I've got one here. It's the last one I
haven't stocked though, and it's quite an expensive item. It'd
be two thousand gold pieces.
Speaker 2: Two thousand gold yes, who's gonna pay that for a
Red Pop scroll? Is it permanent?
Speaker 3: No? No? I think they last for thirty days, don't they.
Speaker 2: I mean usually, but I guarantee it's not gonna But
that doesn't even matter. I've never heard of anything but
a permanent red pop scroll going for two thousand gold.
Temporary ones most people sell them for what, seventy eighty?
I could see two hundred max.
Speaker 6: Well, yeah, two hundred sounds good.
Speaker 2: I guess we got for it. It's highway robbery. I'm
gonna let Vallee know.
Speaker 3: Yes, you can see why it was nice of her
to give you up that favor. Everything here is quite expensive. Yeah,
make him throw the fan in.
Speaker 5: You're taking us down to twenty seven thousand gold. What
BT dubs?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: You throw in that fan, the fan, the cooling fan?
Speaker 2: Yeah, this one favor.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I could throw in the cooling fan
for you had a favor and a favor and a
ferret favor, a favor like what kind of favor? Just
an io you? Well, yeah, hmmm, it wouldn't be a
very big iowe you, because all I'm doing is giving
you a deal here, But I think I could. I
think I could agree to that, and you didn't haggle
with me, and I appreciate that, and so that's fine.
Speaker 6: Yes, it just seems like you made up pretty good
on the last paper.
Speaker 3: Yes, I mean I had to get the monocle out,
and you saw how taxing that was.
Speaker 2: Taxing and taxi.
Speaker 3: All right, we toxic, toxic, all right, deal here here
you go. Do you need this in a gift bag?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Okay, hold on a moment, and gift wrapped and gift
good tissue. She's he's acting annoyed, but he actually has
a full gift wrapping station there. Yeah, he loves it.
He's got wrapping paper like built into the table. He
like slides a sheet out, wraps it around. He's meticulous
with it, humming to himself.
Speaker 4: Several bounds out.
Speaker 3: He makes the or goat me swan.
Speaker 5: That he like tapes to the top of the immediately
rip it open his one wove, or set it on fire.
Speaker 4: Oh our favorites.
Speaker 6: Clean that ship up, knocking.
Speaker 5: Shelf over burn Now we're asshold.
Speaker 4: Ninety percent of the time the good guys, and then
the other ten percent just the fucking works for no reason.
Speaker 3: Just so you guys leave. Can you leave now?
Speaker 2: Just kicked out.
Speaker 3: This's wrapping paper everywhere.
Speaker 5: Hold on to the cloak.
Speaker 3: I wonder if the cooling thing could help cool you
down when after my rage.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so Bill doesn't have to be around, doesn't have.
Speaker 3: To have a symbol, which is getting real.
Speaker 4: Bill's gonna have to just smother you with a cold side.
Throw a blake, blake, That's what we could do. While
we're shopping. I want to get a backup pair of
symbols for when I throw my symbols.
Speaker 6: Okay, yeah, yeah, or a pair of sharp with sharpened edges.
Speaker 4: I need to get like a deer can show you
how to like a secret, a secret thing to put
my sleep, so I can throw tiny symbols.
Speaker 6: Of people like little castanets.
Speaker 3: Every time. So you go shopping for little symbols.
Speaker 2: Yes, really really throwing start.
Speaker 4: But they're all they're around the whole way around. They're
less efficient throwing stars. They do a defour instead of
a decix.
Speaker 3: All right, you find some? Yeah, because I like I
like this idea.
Speaker 4: I'm waiting until Bill weaponize is a triangle, you know
what I'm gonna get the things I can strap my
symbols to my knees, and then I'm gonna start playing
other instruments. To have a harmonica every.
Speaker 6: Level, you just add an instrument.
Speaker 4: Hell, yes, the high servants to carry the instruments.
Speaker 6: Want and just load them up like Patsy.
Speaker 3: So who's got the ambulance of command?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: Yep, that's a chrismal role.
Speaker 4: I feel like they got a doll. I do like
to tell people what to do or really do anything
that involves me talking.
Speaker 3: Okay, you guys made those decisions.
Speaker 6: All that's the thing needed.
Speaker 5: I need to find an outfit for the evening, for
the party.
Speaker 6: Okay.
Speaker 5: I don't know where you find loin cloths and the
key tops. I guess the bathing suits.
Speaker 4: I've got some in my wagon. If you don't ask
why wait.
Speaker 2: What Yeah, I got some in my pocket. That might
be awkward. She's gonna be there too.
Speaker 5: I raised an eyebrow and check out Bill's stash.
Speaker 2: The oh.
Speaker 3: That's how rumors get started.
Speaker 5: They're going to think something's going on with me and Eddie.
Speaker 4: Not at all.
Speaker 3: I don't need more of that. Getting back to Delvert.
Speaker 5: Do be seen in the side of the Delvert.
Speaker 3: He's huge, It's true.
Speaker 5: He's a fucking Delias.
Speaker 2: Okay, I think we're set to the party.
Speaker 3: It is customary to bring gifts to that party.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, they did get us guests, didn't.
Speaker 5: They who's in this fucking click? Oh it's all of them.
Speaker 3: You have the potters and the bells.
Speaker 5: Is there a female in each group? H?
Speaker 3: Yeah there was. I got my gift.
Speaker 5: Okay, one of them gets my top, one of them
gets my bottom. And that's how you start rumors.
Speaker 2: All right? If we give gifts for the potters, what
if we just give them the foul bells? Here's what
the potters never mind, that's let's be nice.
Speaker 4: We should we should get the potters a tiny decorative hydra.
Speaker 5: A bubble head that hydras.
Speaker 3: Gluteus Maximus' shop had a little animated one.
Speaker 4: Like we go back to their streshof we need this
one gift draft for reals for the party, but we're.
Speaker 2: To make you do it twice.
Speaker 4: He's actually thrilled.
Speaker 3: I'm just so anoious, so obnoxious. Hey, he does a
perfect scissor cut every time, like there's no just slides.
Speaker 2: So yeah, we'll go back into Gludy and I'll ask him, Hey,
h we actually do need to get some gifts for
these graduates. Do you know where I can get a hat?
This is number one son?
Speaker 3: Do you need it to be magic? Or do you
just want a normal hat. This is Number one son.
Speaker 2: Just actually know what Bill's prior to that one.
Speaker 3: Bill definitely knows the hat maker here for sure.
Speaker 2: They're like best friends, the haberdasher Bill's b f F.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so the hot shop if it's not magical, But
I have I have a hat that we could just
put Number one son on. But it's a little bit cursed.
Speaker 2: Cursed.
Speaker 3: Well, every time you put it on, it makes a
different part of your anatomy, either really big or really small.
It's random. So maybe maybe like your left ear gets
six times too big.
Speaker 2: Does that go back to normal after you take the
hat off?
Speaker 3: Well, it goes back yes, after you take the hat.
Speaker 2: Off, yes, like immediately or hmm.
Speaker 3: There's sometimes a delay of about an hour.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's not too bad. Does it do anything else?
Does it do anything good?
Speaker 3: Or it's just well, I mean sometimes accentuates spots. You
might want to be a little bit bigger your muscles,
you might be more muscly, or you might have a
fat ass.
Speaker 2: All right, I guess we'll take it off your hands
for about twenty five gold. That seems like a pretty
fair disposal fee for a cursed item.
Speaker 3: Oh, on twenty five gold. Yes, make your paw roll.
Speaker 2: Eight.
Speaker 3: I would love to. We've been doing such fine business together.
But unfortunately it's a hundred gold for the hat.
Speaker 2: But it's cursed. I can get cheaper non magical hats.
Speaker 5: It's fucking worth it. Shut up. One hundred gold. Pretty good,
hundred gold. I love it all right.
Speaker 6: It's a prank gift.
Speaker 3: Most things in here are one hundred gold. Like they're
just all tagged like a hundred gold. The fan that
you got thrown in for free was also one hundred gold.
Speaker 5: Tell ya, can you give wrapless bikini and separate pieces? Please?
Speaker 3: Yes? The one you're okay?
Speaker 6: Old one?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah. We gotta get that little hydro that's
another hundred.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's one hundred gold for the hydro.
Speaker 5: Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3: Like when you touch it it does a different dance
each time. This is one I call the macarena.
Speaker 4: It's got all its heads on it. Yes, what's still work?
Speaker 6: It does off?
Speaker 3: I believe, so the.
Speaker 4: Dear chop one off. It's totally worth eighty. This is damaged.
Speaker 3: Make a parlay great ship?
Speaker 5: Should I do it like a stealth roll?
Speaker 3: So if you saw that, yeah, probably what is dexterity broken.
Speaker 5: I'm not great on dexterity, but let's try.
Speaker 4: It eleven all right, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Let's see if he sees it first though. Oh my god.
Seven seven all right, so you succeed, but there's a complication.
Speaker 6: So it snaps up two bits.
Speaker 3: You break it and you break one of the head off,
heads off and all the little hydra head to fight
your finger for two points of dammage. Yes, you're right,
I didn't see that it was broken. Eighty gold.
Speaker 2: It is.
Speaker 6: Keep the head and see if we can put it
back on later.
Speaker 2: Band aid.
Speaker 3: All right, is there anything else?
Speaker 6: She should give Ally a new crossbow?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well she's stile that one from.
Speaker 4: She did it before she shot the guy. Yeah, yeah,
she did shoot that.
Speaker 6: Okay, Uh should get her a sharp shooter metal?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think no, I think that's good. We'll just
go get him some rations. We'll just going down to the.
Speaker 4: Oh, I've got a lady for the rations.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we'll get him extra rations.
Speaker 4: Actually, I've actually got.
Speaker 2: Rations is a gift, so they could get rations a gift.
That'd be pretty cool. We can you can schmooze the
lady and we don't have to pay for the rations.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's a lunch lady, which means she makes hot
pockets I think is cannon.
Speaker 2: She just makes rashes.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's that's her.
Speaker 3: We'll just Operandi, all right, So we just spent an
entire episode at Gluodias, Maximus, don't do this.
Speaker 4: This day has to last.
Speaker 3: And here's a good spots stup, Like well.
Speaker 5: Fifteen minutes with the Dean.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 4: We left and came back twice.
Speaker 3: At least.
Speaker 8: This concludes this episode of a Fool's Quest. Join us
next time for more fun and daring adventure. Thank you
for listening, and don't forget to like, subscribe, review, and
comment on your favorite platform to listen to All fools
Quest