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Speaker 1: Life was well. When I wanted a job, I worked

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hard and got a good one. I wanted companionship and

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worked through all social barriers until I met the one

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and settled down. My wife and I wanted a child,

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and through the shared desire, we had a beautiful girl.

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We wanted her to grow into an amazing person, and

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now she's top of her class. In the final months

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of high school, with a full circle of friends, everything

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was perfect. Everything I ever set out to do, i'd accomplish.

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Yet something inside me, deep within, felt hollow. All the

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happiness I sought only felt surface deep. I felt like

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something inside me was missing. It was during a late

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drive from a business trip. It was between two large

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cities and I was stuck in no man's land and

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at the worst possible timing, I really needed to go

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to the bathroom. Sure, for a number one, you can

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pull over and wet the side of the road, but

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what I needed to do required things. But luckily I

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spotted my salvation. I spotted lights on in a building.

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It wasn't too far from the main road, However, in

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the pitch black it glowed like a beacon of hope.

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I turned in and parked up other cars were settled

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into spots, so I assumed a small gathering of people

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were there. I gently knocked, hoping some one would answer. However,

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whatever was going on inside was too noisy for my

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knocks to be heard, so I took a deep breath

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and pushed the door open. The attention of the room

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entirely shifted to me. The first thing I noticed was

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how old everyone was. Whatever this club was, that was

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the only shared common feature. There was nothing I could

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ascertain from this, though, so the club's function was a

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mystery to me. The room fell dead, silent. A pin

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drop would echo on the walls. However, before that, I

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briefly saw what the foss was about. Someone was being

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celebrated standing in front of an old, ornate door. However,

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it wasn't some normal door. There was a strange glow

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from inside, but it didn't look like anything I had

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ever seen before. But what really caught my attention was

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the sound. In the brief side violence. I could hear it,

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a strange thumping sound. However, it had a rhythmic pattern

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to it, almost deliberate, yet felt so natural. It was

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hard to describe, but I was drawn to it. I

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wanted to know what it was to feel it. A

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man in a clean suit cleared his throat and approached me. Welcome,

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Are you a new applicant to the club, he asked politely.

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Ah uh no, sorry, I was just driving through and

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really needed the bathroom. I haven't seen a service station

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in so long. Is that okay? His soft smile faded

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before returning as he guided me to the restroom. Aria.

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While doing my business, I could hear the commotions start

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all over again. Cheers and celebration rang out through the hall,

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echoing into the cubicle I was simultaneously demolishing. I was exhausted.

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When I finished my business, a double flusher, at least

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with my hands washed. I headed out, ready to go

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straight for the door, not wanting to intrude whatever was

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going on in this remote meeting hall. But all it

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took was a quick sideways glance for a mountain of

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intrigue to hold me down. I watched as a man

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stepped through the ornate door. He practically glowed with positivity,

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beaming with a pride I had never witnessed before. Others

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around him celebrated him like he had just achieved world peace,

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even from where I stood. Whether it was seeing so

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many people happy or something from behind the door. I

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felt it too, in a slight way, a strange elation

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tingling through me. I would have stayed in place forever,

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just soaking in this great feeling, even if just secondhand,

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until I felt a grasp at my arm. If your

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business is done here, you are free to leave. He

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was the same man from before. He said this with

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no hostility, a polite smile, sincerely beaming at me. I

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was ready to leave, However, I was just too curious.

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I had to ask, Otherwise leaving this stone unturned would

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haunt me for the rest of my life. What is

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this place? What's going on here? I asked? This is

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the place where like minded people meet and share a

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common interest, he said, However, his pause was too suspicious.

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What interest? And what's behind that door? I asked back.

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The answer to both questions are the same answer, he

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shot back. However, he didn't actually answer the question. So

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what is it? Then? I probed, I am truly sorry.

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Only club members can know, he said solemnly. I was

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ready to get this over with and leave, but I

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had so many questions. Okay, so how do I sign up?

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I asked. I figured if it was just a form

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or a small fee, I could spare it just to

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satiate my curiosity. Sadly, it is a lengthy ordeal and

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not an easy one to do, he answered, Which is,

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I asked, leaving him to fill in the blanks. I

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cannot answer that he shall back, I sighed, And why not,

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I asked, annoying to my tone, I can only say

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if you are truly dedicated adjoining as a member, he explained.

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I was done with this, this whole charade. Trying not

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to cause a scene, I simply said my goodbyes and left.

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But the sight of what I'd seen, the bliss those

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people were experiencing, never left my mind. After five straight

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days of hell due to work, my mind sought reprieve.

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I wanted to feel happy. My only relief was my family,

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watching shows with my wife and daughter and spending quality

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time with them, but my life felt like it was

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missing something, something grand. I wanted to feel bliss. Realizing

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that my life was just travel and work, the idea

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of joining a club sounded like a good idea. Plus,

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to even experience just a fraction of the happiness that

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I saw in those people, would be a dream, so

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I went back. I set out to arrive at a

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similar time to when I first found the place, hoping

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that they had a scheduled time. And when I arrived,

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I saw the place bustling with life once more. When

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I entered, I was greeted by the same man as before.

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Welcome back. The bathroom is this way, though, please try

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to clean up more after he greeted, saying that last

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part was the only time I saw his polite smile falter.

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I guess even the most well maintained personas can crack.

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But i't there for that. I had something else on

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my mind. I want to join, I said, a little

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too excitedly. At this, the room fell silent. Everyone turned

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to look at me, and their expressions were so tense

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that I couldn't make out what the vibe was. Even

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the polite man, his friendly demeanor, ever present, soured his

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face into a more serious tone. Are you sure about this?

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This is a very serious thing to accept, and though

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faltering might be inevitable, the consequences for even just starting

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can be costly, he said. But I was ready, ready

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for anything, and accepted on the spot. He formally introduced

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himself Randal, a name I would never forget. Randal explained

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to me the conditions I was to be put through tests,

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tests of life to see whether I am truly worthy

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to be a part of the club. However, he couldn't

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fully explain what the tests were. The tests will come

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to you. All you have to do is participate, was

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all he said. The vague, cryptic instruction wasn't the strangest part.

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There was another step that made me question my decision

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to join this strange club. Randall went to a case

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of his stuff and pulled out an odd mixture of materials,

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a pile of straw, some old looking string, and other

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things I didn't recognize. As quick as a flash, he

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fashioned it into a strange looking doll. He handed it

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to me, and as I grabbed it, he held on too,

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staring straight into my eyes. Do not let it go

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at times when you cannot hold it, keep it on

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your person at all times. We will know if you

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fail at this. He released his grip and left it

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in my hands. The first test, his loss was the

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last thing Randal said to me. The ride back was surreal,

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the whole scenario playing over in my head, I wondered,

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if the doll had a camera in it, or a

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censor like those training baby toys new mothers used the

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train with. It was odd. However, I was never one

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to back down from a challenge. As soon as I

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got home, I was hit by a surprise. My wife

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was still awake, sitting at the kitchen table. I approached,

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thinking she was just up for some water. However, the

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look on her face told me whatever she was about

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to tell me weighed heavy, and when she told me,

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it hit me like a ton of hammers. She was sick.

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Whatever it was, it was so obscure that I still

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cannot pronounce its name. But whatever it was, it was

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too unknown for a cure. The next few weeks were

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a mess. Hospital visits, counselors, care staff, a pile of

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things I'd never dreamed of happening until our twilight years.

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We had planned to spend our whole lives together, and

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here I was seeing her off so soon. That was

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a wreck. Explaining it to our teenage daughter was hard.

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She was old enough to have a concept of death,

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but way too young to be living through it. It hurt,

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but my wife stayed strong through it despite her failing health.

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She was still the anchor of the family. The time came,

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the doctors predicted it perfectly. I was sat at her bedside,

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holding her hand as she slipped away from the world,

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still though she was awake enough to be sharing her

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last moments together. My daughter was on her way and

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she would arrive perfectly on time. The door creaked open

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and we both turned in anticipation, but instead a pair

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of police officers stood where our daughter should have been.

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What they told me made my world break even more.

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Apparently my daughter was worried about coming too late, so

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she was driving hastily to the hospital. She must have

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been so focused on making it on time that she

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missed the truck slipping past the red light, which tea

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boned a vehicle. Damn this, splitting it in half. She

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was dead on impact. Tears filled my eyes as the

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heart rate monitor next to me flat lined. My whole life,

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everything I lived for, was gone. I was left alone

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to grieve, to say my goodbyes. When I felt a slight,

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burning sensation. I reached into my jacket pocket and there

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it was the doll. It was singed black, and as

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I held it, I felt it heat up in a

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flash and disappear into a puff of ash. My hands

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were left black, but otherwise no pain. But this told

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me what caused all this? The club. I had no

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idea how they orchestrated everything, but this very much all

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qualified as loss. I stormed back to the club with

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no regard of restraint. I grabbed Randal by the cough,

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demanding he explain everything. However, he never carried a smug

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lock or a look of deliberate intent. His face carried

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the same burden I did. I looked around, and everyone

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had the same lock. We've all experienced loss. I've no

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idea what you went through, but I can guarantee we

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went through the same or worse. This didn't comfort me

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in the slightest. Why why did you let this happen?

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You could have turned you away, You could have worn

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me anything. I demanded, because it was worth it, he

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responded flatly. I wanted to flip out at this and

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how absurd that sounded, but I didn't. Part of me

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wanted to see this through, even if to just hear

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what was next, to at least give their death reason.

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The next task, Randal continued, is one hundred lives from

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one hundred cities, I frowned at this. Wait, you expect

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me to what kill? There's no way I could. I

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was interrupted by another patron approaching me and grabbing my hand.

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Before I knew it, I saw he had a knife,

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but it wasn't pointed at me. It was being placed

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in my hand. I didn't have time to pull my

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hand away at the strange gesture before he spoke up.

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Don't worry, the first one's free, he yelled excitedly, before

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forcing my hand tight around the handle and shoving it

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into himself. He fell to the floor and smiles were

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had as he pled out on the floor. I was

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too stunned to respond until fightal flight kicked in and

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I just fled. I hopped in my car and drove,

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just drove as far as I could, for as long

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as I could. Before I knew it, I was at

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the state lines, soaking everything in. I knew I couldn't

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go home, not with blood on my hands. Literally. I

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decided to slip to the next date and stay there

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for a while, just in case there was heat. When

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hanging around a low populated area, I noticed a homeless

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man and the cogs started turning in my head. I

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was in a new city. No one knew I was there.

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It would be so easy, It was a sick thought,

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but I was fully enveloped in the sunken cost fallacy

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to turn back. Now everything I loved was gone. If

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I were to stop, it would have all been for nothing.

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I walked past him, and he held out his hand

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for a donation. I handed him a baked treat I

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had picked up, then sat at a nearby cafe. When

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I saw the ambulance hauling away his body in a bag,

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I knew it had worked. He hadn't noticed what I

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had slipped in another city, down ninety eight to go.

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It took years. I'd gotten good at it. I took

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erratic roots, never traveled in a pattern, never used the

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same method to kill, always mixing things up. I even

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flew to other countries, sometimes for a point, other times

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simply spending time there. The point of all this was

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to never leave a pattern. When there are no motives,

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it's very hard to track down a killer, and I'd

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no reason at all. All of my targets were picked

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out at random, and never out of convenience either. I

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took time, sometimes months, just making sure the stars were

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aligned to literally get away with murder. I always kept track,

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never with anything material. Each night I'd recite myself each hit.

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I never wanted to want to shoot, or worse, overshoot

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my goal, and slowly the count rose until I had

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reached it, one hundred hits in one hundred different cities.

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I was aged now, looking like the other guests in

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the club. I now understood why everyone there shared that

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in common. I returned a weathered man, stripped of all humanity,

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broken and praying to anything that whatever was behind that

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door would make me whole again, because whatever was behind

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there must have been special. When I witnessed part of

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the ceremony, not only was the person emerging from the

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door elated, so was everyone in the room, something so

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magical that it radiated to all involved. At this point,

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I couldn't even imagine the creaks of my face if

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I tried to smile, an action long since lost on me.

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So to be able to feel again, to be immersed

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in joy, would be salvation. I made my way back

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to the club. It had been so long that the

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thought of it not being around anymore hadn't crossed my

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mind until I approached. However, there it was the soft

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glow of the light, signaling its presence in the blackness

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of the road. I was greeted by Randal, looking far

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older than when I last saw him. Some of the

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members from before were still there, but it looked like

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many had passed, most likely from old age, but new

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members had taken their place, fresh faces. The passages of

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time wrinkled across their faces, however, bearing something I still

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didn't possess, happiness. As soon as Randal saw me, recognition

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spread across his face, not only recognizing who I was,

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but what I had done. He didn't even confirm it,

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so whether he was somehow keeping tabs on me or

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simply from my vibe, he knew the task was complete.

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Are you here to use the bathroom again? He jested,

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a joke I would have chuckled at long before, but

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now my soul felt so sour that I couldn't even

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muster a polite laugh. Randal gave us, and everyone immediately

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started preparing the ceremony. The small crowd moved like clockwork,

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each person knowing their role in what was about to come.

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A woman stood near me, excitements spread across her face.

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While everyone was preparing, I turned to her. What's going

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to happen? I asked. I never expected a full answer,

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but was at least hoping for some kind of hint

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towards what was about to come. But all she did

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was turned to me and smile. She didn't give anything away,

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not even with a lock. I was brought before the

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door and finally saw the glow I had seen all

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those years ago seep in through the cracks. Tingles ran

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through me, and I hadn't even went inside yet. Randal

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stood in front and ceremoniously opened the door. Light played

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around me and I entered. What I saw it was beyond.

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I had spent many nights for years imagining what was inside,

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if it would all be worth it, The loss, the pain,

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everything I had been through. It all circled around in

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my head, haunting me, teasing me. But even the highest,

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most supreme experience I fantasized, actually seeing it trumped it tenfold.

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When I emerged, I came out a new man, reborn.

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Everything I had done felt like so much, such a

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high cost. However, after going through it, it now felt cheap,

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like I had made out like a bandit. If I

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had known what was inside, I would have paid the

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price many times over. Everyone celebrated me outside the door.

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It was exactly like I had first saw all those

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years ago, except now I was the one in the

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center of attention. Randall didn't say anything to ruin the moment,

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simply gave me a knowing, not with a smile. So

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what was inside, Well, here's the thing I can't tell

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you because you're not a member.