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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to the Trauma Therapists podcast. My name is Gamiferson.

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<v Speaker 1>I interview incredible people who've dedicated their lives to helping

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<v Speaker 1>those who've been impacted by trauma. A big thank you

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<v Speaker 1>to our sponsors and our guests who are supporting this show.

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<v Speaker 1>Five four, three, two and one. Our folks, welcome back

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<v Speaker 1>to the podcast. Very excited to have back. Richard Tate, Richard.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome, Thank you, thanks for having me again.

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<v Speaker 1>Richard is a founder and executive chairman of Carrera Treatment

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<v Speaker 1>Wellness and spa executive chairman of One Method Treatment Centers,

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<v Speaker 1>and the former founder of Cliffside Malibu, which is sold

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<v Speaker 1>in twenty eighteen. A leading figure in the addiction treatment

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<v Speaker 1>industry for over a decade, Richard is both the career

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<v Speaker 1>dedicated to helping people reclaim their lives from substance use

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<v Speaker 1>and mental health challenges. He's also the host of We're

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<v Speaker 1>Out of Time podcasts, currently ranked number three in Apple's

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<v Speaker 1>mental health category.

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<v Speaker 3>Check it Again, Check It Again?

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<v Speaker 1>What is it?

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<v Speaker 3>Number one? This morning?

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<v Speaker 1>Number one shot where he explores congratulations.

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<v Speaker 2>Because I was pissed off, okay that it wasn't number

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<v Speaker 2>one for like two weeks and I just didn't understand it.

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<v Speaker 2>So we did a little work and it's back to

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<v Speaker 2>number one, sorry.

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<v Speaker 1>Isolation No Worries, where he explores urgent issues around treatment, recovery,

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<v Speaker 1>and wellness. All right, so you've been on the podcast before,

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<v Speaker 1>excuse mean where we dive dove into your background, your story,

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<v Speaker 1>which is really inspiring for obvious reasons. But you know,

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<v Speaker 1>as I was listening back on that, I'm wondering what

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<v Speaker 1>the hell keeps you going? And I don't mean I

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<v Speaker 1>mean specifically, Well.

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<v Speaker 2>Look, you know it's twofold, right, I mean, I can

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<v Speaker 2>you know if I think I've said this, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>And I don't mean you know, it sounds uncool when

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<v Speaker 2>I say it, But you know, if you're one of

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<v Speaker 2>the best in the world at giving people back your

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<v Speaker 2>loved ones, you know, or their loved ones, and you

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<v Speaker 2>don't do it, you're a dick, you know. So even

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<v Speaker 2>though I didn't have to come back to work, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a dad.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, is there anything more.

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<v Speaker 2>Esteemable than giving a father and a mother back their child?

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<v Speaker 3>Right? That's rhetorical.

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<v Speaker 2>So look, I'm fifty nine years old. I ain't eighty nine, right,

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<v Speaker 2>So I gotta do something. And this is what I do.

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<v Speaker 2>And you know, it doesn't matter if I like it

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<v Speaker 2>or not. Right, it doesn't matter if I want to

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<v Speaker 2>do it or not. What matters is is if deeds

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<v Speaker 2>doing right, and so you do it right.

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<v Speaker 1>But there's what I'm looking interested in, really is the

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<v Speaker 1>thread with a bridge between the what needs to be

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<v Speaker 1>done from your definition and how you get up someone

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<v Speaker 1>with your past, with your history, with your trauma, with

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<v Speaker 1>the addiction behind you. Is that something you have to

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<v Speaker 1>dredge through every day? Are you still struggling? I mean

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<v Speaker 1>to the degree that we're all struggling right now.

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<v Speaker 2>Now I know what you're saying. Listen, I just wrote

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<v Speaker 2>a book about transcendence. Okay, addiction doesn't have any hold

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<v Speaker 2>on me whatsoever. Okay, this is something you can transcend. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>you can.

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<v Speaker 1>This doesn't.

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<v Speaker 2>And all I'm saying is when I say transcendence from

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<v Speaker 2>drug addiction and alcoholism is excuse me, It's just not

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<v Speaker 2>who I am anymore. Right. So, when, for example, when

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<v Speaker 2>I have a glass of wine, right, if I start

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<v Speaker 2>to feel it, what I do is I push the

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<v Speaker 2>wine across the table and I go, that feels nice.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, what does the alcoholic do the alcoholic.

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<v Speaker 2>Rich says, Oh if that feels good, more feels better, Right,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't have that note anymore. So yeah, that's that's it.

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<v Speaker 1>What tell us about transcendence? How did that come about?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, transcendence comes about if you do the work. Right. So,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm in therapy three times a week. I've been in

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<v Speaker 2>therapy a minimum of three times a week for twenty years. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I sold the finest clinical team in human history.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay. I mean you.

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<v Speaker 2>Can't walk out of that past with no talent and

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<v Speaker 2>no skill.

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<v Speaker 3>That's impossible. I mean I'd have to.

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<v Speaker 2>Be brain dead, right, So right, So if you do

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<v Speaker 2>the work, and you not just I tried, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm working on it, none of that bullshit I'm talking about.

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<v Speaker 2>If you do the work, okay, then and I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>saying you got to paint my house or dig a ditch.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm talking about being cracked, open and honest and with it,

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<v Speaker 2>with a desire to make change, to change your bad

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<v Speaker 2>behaviors and replace them with good ones.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, that's what I'm talking about. Got it?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh? Yeah, I got it? And what what did you

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<v Speaker 1>need to change? What have you changed? Well?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, look, first thing, that happened to me was,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, in early sobriety, I had a child, and

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<v Speaker 2>I was always in therapy, but while we were pregnant,

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<v Speaker 2>I really worked on what it's like for that new

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<v Speaker 2>chapter in my life.

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<v Speaker 3>Right.

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<v Speaker 2>And so I always say that you can't stay sober

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<v Speaker 2>unless you replace what used to be most valuable, which

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<v Speaker 2>was you're using right, with something of equal or more value. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>And for me, equal or more value was living like

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<v Speaker 2>an elegant man, right, finding a woman that I'd want

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<v Speaker 2>to have children with.

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<v Speaker 3>And having a child.

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<v Speaker 2>So once I had a child, right, that's the first

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<v Speaker 2>step in Oh, that's.

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<v Speaker 3>No longer who I am.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, If you have the tools that you've been working

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<v Speaker 2>on that entire time, it's just an evolution. And then

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<v Speaker 2>you have little baby steps like that in your life,

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<v Speaker 2>little winds, little winds, little winds, little winds, right, and

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<v Speaker 2>they accumulate until and with time and consistency.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, you change. Let me ask you a question, what.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you fifty five sixty two?

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<v Speaker 3>You're sixty two? Okay?

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<v Speaker 2>You the same guy at sixty two that you were.

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<v Speaker 3>At forty two.

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<v Speaker 1>No, of course, not, of course not.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>So at a certain point, if you're living. You're if

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<v Speaker 2>you try to live a life where you're striving to

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<v Speaker 2>be your best self and that's the goal, to live

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<v Speaker 2>your best life. Okay, this is what happens. You transcend

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<v Speaker 2>for most. For I'm sorry, for some, Okay, it's not. Look,

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<v Speaker 2>when somebody goes to an AA meeting, okay and they

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<v Speaker 2>leave in AA, they always tell you, oh, those people

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<v Speaker 2>are out dying.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, they're not. Some of them are.

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<v Speaker 2>But some of them have graduated and are now living

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<v Speaker 2>their lives not labeled as a sick person.

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<v Speaker 3>For the rest of their lives.

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<v Speaker 2>Now that was a speed bump, and they're moving on

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<v Speaker 2>and they're thriving.

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<v Speaker 1>I think, Richard, one of the things that really intrigues

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<v Speaker 1>me and inspires me about you is you. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe not unlike everyone, but you seem to be a

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<v Speaker 1>mixture of certainly degradation, this kind of life that you

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<v Speaker 1>were leading, but also this inspired person, this struggle, right,

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<v Speaker 1>this need to help, mixed with this addiction, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>living in these hotels. But I'm really curious what was

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<v Speaker 1>the switch for you?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, it's never one thing, Okay, people that tell you,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, some people have one a specific event, but

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<v Speaker 2>For me, it was that life of using is exhausting.

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<v Speaker 2>It's exhausting. Think about it. You're up for on average,

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<v Speaker 2>six to eight days at a time, eating a big

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<v Speaker 2>mac once a week to keep yourself alive. Okay, I

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<v Speaker 2>mean you've broken all your teeth because you got that

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<v Speaker 2>that cocaine clamp down. Okay. I was a buck forty seven,

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<v Speaker 2>dripping wet gray. Okay, I mean I was out of money.

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<v Speaker 2>I was homeless for a little bit. It's like enough,

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<v Speaker 2>it's exhausting. You get older, it's exhausting, and when you

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<v Speaker 2>run out of money, that's the worst. That's the worst.

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<v Speaker 2>Detoxing with no where to go, with nowhere to go

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<v Speaker 2>the worst.

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<v Speaker 1>I started off asking about transcendence. How did this book

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<v Speaker 1>come about?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, there's a book called Changing for Good by uh

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<v Speaker 2>doctor James Purchaska and uh uh doctor Declemente and doctor Norcross,

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<v Speaker 2>and they actually figured out how human beings change their behaviors. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>it's called the trans Theoretical Model of Behavior change. And

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<v Speaker 2>he wrote this book and I'm reading it and I

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<v Speaker 2>don't understand it.

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<v Speaker 3>It's so heavy.

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<v Speaker 2>So I take this book to my therapist John, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, we're gonna read this book line by line,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're gonna tell me what the hell this means, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>And so we'd read the first paragraph and he'd say

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<v Speaker 2>that means that.

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<v Speaker 3>The thought, I'm like, why didn't he say that?

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<v Speaker 2>Right?

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<v Speaker 3>And we did this for the entire book. Now I

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<v Speaker 3>was irate.

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<v Speaker 2>And the reason I was irate is because you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not unsophisticated when it comes to therapy, and the

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<v Speaker 2>fact that I don't understand something because it's so academic

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<v Speaker 2>and so heady just infuriated me, because it's like mental masturbation.

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<v Speaker 2>These academics get together and they go to their cocktail

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<v Speaker 2>parties and they pontificate about this bullshit and a bullshit

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<v Speaker 2>and they've never conveyed it to anybody because the people

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<v Speaker 2>on the ground, the therapists, have no chance of understanding

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<v Speaker 2>what the hell they wrote.

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<v Speaker 3>Right.

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<v Speaker 2>So I wrote the book for dummies. I just wrote

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<v Speaker 2>the book over for dummies, and then I sent it

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<v Speaker 2>to doctor Prechaska and I said, hey, my name's Richard Taate.

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<v Speaker 3>I got sober.

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<v Speaker 2>My therapist used your stages of change to move me

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<v Speaker 2>through them into recovery. And I wrote this book, and

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<v Speaker 2>I want to know if I got any of it right,

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<v Speaker 2>any of it wrong, because because I don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>put out your work, okay if it's wrong, but nobody

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<v Speaker 2>can understand your shit, So I had to do it.

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<v Speaker 2>That's basically what I told him. And so six weeks

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<v Speaker 2>later he wrote me back and he said, this is beautiful.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>He said, can I write a blurb for you? And

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<v Speaker 2>I said, if you do it on the cover and

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<v Speaker 2>he said yeah. So that was my first book, and

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<v Speaker 2>I called it what was an ending addiction for good right,

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<v Speaker 2>And but I didn't talk about transcendence. I talked about

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<v Speaker 2>the first five stages.

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<v Speaker 1>Which are what just for our listeners, briefly talking about

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<v Speaker 1>the stages of change.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, there's a pre contemplation, contemplation, pre action, action, maintenance,

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<v Speaker 2>and transcendence okay, and they go through various stages, like

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<v Speaker 2>the first one is complete denial.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't have a problem, okay.

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<v Speaker 2>All the way to action coming into a treatment center

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<v Speaker 2>and taking.

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<v Speaker 3>Doing the work.

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<v Speaker 2>And then maintenance, which is aftercare and living the right

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<v Speaker 2>way and getting little winds, little winds, you know, making

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<v Speaker 2>certain that the discipline and the patterns stay right, that

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<v Speaker 2>you're consistent every day. So that you know, the neuroplasticity

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<v Speaker 2>will start working, and you know, everything becomes habitual, that

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<v Speaker 2>bad behaviors become habitual, good behaviors become habitual. But the

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<v Speaker 2>reason I talked about transcendence this time, well, let's go back.

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<v Speaker 2>The reason I didn't talk about transcendence last time is

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<v Speaker 2>because I didn't want to kill anybody. Okay, because everybody thinks, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm the one that transcends.

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<v Speaker 3>No, you don't, okay.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't transcend this thing until I add sixteen years sober, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>And I work in recovery all day long and help

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<v Speaker 2>whoever I can. You, newcomer, do you don't need to

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<v Speaker 2>know about transcendence right now. That's only going to hurt you.

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<v Speaker 2>But after I sold cliff Side, I had a different

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<v Speaker 2>life and I had transcended it, and I wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>write a book about thriving in the world, not just

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<v Speaker 2>getting sober. I wanted to write a book about thriving

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<v Speaker 2>because that's why the hell you get sober in the

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<v Speaker 2>first place, To live a life that well, that's why ah,

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<v Speaker 2>I got sober. I want to live a life that

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<v Speaker 2>I can be proud of.

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<v Speaker 1>Is this attainable for everyone?

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<v Speaker 2>Of course it is. Of course it is. All you

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<v Speaker 2>have to do is humble. Look, people go, I want

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<v Speaker 2>to go to therapy. Shut up. Therapy isn't something you

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<v Speaker 2>have to do. It's something you get to do. It's

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<v Speaker 2>the ultimate luxury.

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<v Speaker 3>It is.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the ultimate luxury. It's how elegant men and women

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<v Speaker 2>deal with their stressors.

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<v Speaker 3>That's it, the end. Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>So you know if you're doing that, okay, with a

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<v Speaker 2>desire to be your best self. This shit happens naturally,

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<v Speaker 2>but it happens when it happens.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay. And here's how you tell.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're thinking about that glass of wine, then you

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<v Speaker 2>haven't transcended.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think about it.

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<v Speaker 2>Five glasses of wine in the last twelve months, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think about it. Oh I'm gonna go out

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<v Speaker 2>and have a nice bottle of wine. The second I

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<v Speaker 2>start thinking about that, I'll never drink again because I

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<v Speaker 2>know better.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>But if you're not thinking about it, and you're at

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<v Speaker 2>dinner and somebody has wants to order a bottle of wine, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>and then.

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<v Speaker 3>They hop you off, who gives a shit?

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<v Speaker 2>It's fine okay for me, right, not for most Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>But Isn't that the goal?

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<v Speaker 3>Isn't that the goal.

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<v Speaker 2>To where it's not calling you all the time and

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<v Speaker 2>you're not struggling and it's effortless. That's the goal and

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<v Speaker 2>you can get there. Okay, there is no disease. The

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<v Speaker 2>disease model is horseshit. There is no disease. Where's the

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<v Speaker 2>disease agent, where's the tumor, where's the virus? Where is it?

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<v Speaker 3>It's stupid.

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<v Speaker 1>Why is it stupid?

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<v Speaker 2>Because it's a bunch of jerk offs at the DSM

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<v Speaker 2>getting around in a circle talking a bunch of shit

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<v Speaker 2>that they don't know about, and then creating something just

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<v Speaker 2>for billing purposes. That's what these things are for. They're

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<v Speaker 2>for billing codes. Okay, And you know every time they

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<v Speaker 2>want to build for something, they create a new disease.

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<v Speaker 1>One of this is, as I'm sure you know, one

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<v Speaker 1>of the thoughts on the disease model is, or the

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<v Speaker 1>critical criticisms, is that it takes the onus, takes the

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<v Speaker 1>ownership off of the individual. Right, so it's a disease essentially, it's.

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<v Speaker 2>Not Okay, Okay, listen, you're getting into the Okay, listen,

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<v Speaker 2>this is why they changed They changed the terminology from

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<v Speaker 2>drug addiction and alcoholism to substance use disorder.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, who did that help?

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<v Speaker 2>Tell me?

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<v Speaker 3>Who did it help?

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<v Speaker 2>It doesn't help not to tell the addict the truth. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>Clarity is power. Dude, you're a drug addict and an alcoholic,

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<v Speaker 2>and that's okay because this is a speed bump.

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<v Speaker 3>But let me tell you the truth.

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<v Speaker 2>Because I didn't lose two and a half decades to

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<v Speaker 2>substance use disorder.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, it was a drug addict. And if somebody would have.

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<v Speaker 2>Said, I think it's substance use disorder, okay, it's like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>that doesn't sound so bad. Being a drug addict sucks, right, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>So just tell people the truth. Okay, they made it soft.

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<v Speaker 2>They soft pedaled it for what because somebody doesn't want

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<v Speaker 2>to be rigorously honest with where they are in their.

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<v Speaker 3>Arc of life.

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<v Speaker 2>Who were they? Who were they protecting? Whose feelings were

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<v Speaker 2>they protecting?

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<v Speaker 1>So how does your philosophy, your outlook, this outlook that

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<v Speaker 1>we're talking about that you're expressing right now, how does

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<v Speaker 1>this translate into your program?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, look, I believe that everything starts with a baseline

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<v Speaker 2>or a founding of love. That's it. Okay, So let

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<v Speaker 2>me tell you what I mean by that. So we

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<v Speaker 2>don't have people here at Carrera or one method okay,

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<v Speaker 2>that is desensitized to the process of helping another human being.

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<v Speaker 2>There's another way to say that, if you lost the love,

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<v Speaker 2>you're gone. Because this is a love call.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>People get to treatment okay, broken, destroyed, shame based okay.

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<v Speaker 2>And a lot of these people do the tough love

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<v Speaker 2>thing even when they say they know. Okay, some of

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<v Speaker 2>the staff members the whole thing because the training isn't there.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Here, let me give you an example. Thirty people, thirty

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<v Speaker 2>one people left within a few weeks of me opening,

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<v Speaker 2>of me wanting to open Carera. I didn't even open

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<v Speaker 2>it yet, and so thirty one people came from Cliffside

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<v Speaker 2>to join me at Krrera. Ten in one hour. Must

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<v Speaker 2>have felt like the end of a Godfather movie.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>But then you know, we grew and it was we

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<v Speaker 2>needed more than just our thirty one, right. So people

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<v Speaker 2>would come to me and they'd say, rich, I need help.

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<v Speaker 2>Can you hire me somebody. I'd be like no, and

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<v Speaker 2>they're like, but rich I need the help, and I'm like, good,

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<v Speaker 2>you hire the person you know who the good souls

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<v Speaker 2>are in this industry. You know who our people are

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<v Speaker 2>with the good souls. Okay, you're responsible for them. So

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<v Speaker 2>the first one hundred people at our center were by

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<v Speaker 2>invitation only, just the lovers. Okay, yeah, great qualifications, did ten,

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00:20:58.039 --> 00:21:04.039
<v Speaker 2>twenty and sometimes thirty thousand hours of treatment experience, but

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<v Speaker 2>they never lost the love. They'll take a call in

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<v Speaker 2>the middle of the night, They'll get in their bathrobe

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<v Speaker 2>and go straight to the center.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, because there's that's what it takes.

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<v Speaker 2>When you're in treatment and you're doing it the right way,

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<v Speaker 2>you do whatever it takes.

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<v Speaker 3>That is what our place is about.

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<v Speaker 1>When potential clients come to you, is there some type

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<v Speaker 1>of a screening process? Is how do you make people

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<v Speaker 1>understand what they're walking into?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, not everybody gets to go to Carrera.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay. We only have eighteen beds.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so we probably market to one tenth of one

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<v Speaker 2>percent of people in the country. Okay, so financially it's

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<v Speaker 2>prohibitive for a lot, but it ain't just finances.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, we've walked in I've had people who are

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<v Speaker 2>just abusive, okay, and we knew we're going to upset

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<v Speaker 2>the apple cart, and we just we couldn't admit him

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<v Speaker 2>that happened sometimes because we love our clientele, right, and

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<v Speaker 2>the whole in one apple can ruin the whole barrel

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<v Speaker 2>for everybody, right, So I know that that wasn't the saying.

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<v Speaker 3>But I did my best. Yeah, and so that's it.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, you you know, listen, you want to hear

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<v Speaker 2>the funniest story. The funniest story is one royal family

361
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<v Speaker 2>wanted one of the guys to come here and take

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<v Speaker 2>over one whole house, six beds, so he wasn't bothered

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<v Speaker 2>and the only condition he had was he wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>bring his cat. I don't do cats. That was that

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<v Speaker 2>was a fortune loss. Okay, but I don't do cats.

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<v Speaker 2>Not everybody gets to come to Krrea, is what I'm saying. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>you've got to we make certain that it's You've got

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<v Speaker 2>to make certain that the people mix.

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<v Speaker 3>You've got to do the best you can.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, it doesn't always work, but most of the time

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<v Speaker 2>we can get it right.

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<v Speaker 1>Right. With all that being equal, though, if someone walks in,

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<v Speaker 1>are you assessing for their their readiness? Are you assessing for.

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<v Speaker 2>Because there's only two types of people that come to treatment,

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<v Speaker 2>the people to get the heat off that want to

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<v Speaker 2>take the heat off, right, and the ones that want

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<v Speaker 2>to get well, what is the heat off? The heat

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<v Speaker 2>off is I don't want my wife to leave me,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want.

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<v Speaker 3>To lose my.

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<v Speaker 2>Job, I don't want to go to jail. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>you know that kind of stuff. So they don't really

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<v Speaker 2>want to get well, So I don't care about what

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<v Speaker 2>their readiness is. We take you know, half those people

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<v Speaker 2>will stay sober. So you know when people say no,

386
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<v Speaker 2>you have to want to get sober, that's that statement

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00:24:11.720 --> 00:24:15.799
<v Speaker 2>has killed more people than anything. Okay, you don't need

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<v Speaker 2>to get sober, because you don't need to want to

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<v Speaker 2>get sober. And the reason I know that for sure

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<v Speaker 2>is because there's only two types of people that come

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<v Speaker 2>to treatment and fifty percent of them and it is

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<v Speaker 2>it's about fifty to fifty and the fifty percent that

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00:24:32.319 --> 00:24:34.720
<v Speaker 2>have no intention of getting sober, about half of those

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00:24:34.759 --> 00:24:38.000
<v Speaker 2>people end up getting sober. So I know for a

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<v Speaker 2>fact that's the way it works, because it's not anecdotal,

396
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:47.319
<v Speaker 2>it's field research at this point, right.

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<v Speaker 1>So help me understand that, you know, you don't need

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<v Speaker 1>to want to get sober. No, Well, you just need

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<v Speaker 1>to walk in through the door.

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<v Speaker 3>That's right.

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00:24:56.960 --> 00:25:02.440
<v Speaker 2>Now here's the good part. It doesn't work for everybody. Okay,

402
00:25:02.480 --> 00:25:03.880
<v Speaker 2>it works for us. Let me tell you why it

403
00:25:03.880 --> 00:25:07.039
<v Speaker 2>works for us. The reason it works for us is

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00:25:07.839 --> 00:25:10.880
<v Speaker 2>when you come in during your detox process, whether it's three,

405
00:25:11.160 --> 00:25:14.880
<v Speaker 2>five days, whatever it is, you're going through that detox

406
00:25:14.920 --> 00:25:21.240
<v Speaker 2>process and you're being monitored by everybody. Notes are being

407
00:25:21.279 --> 00:25:27.799
<v Speaker 2>taken and the therapists behind the scene are fighting for you.

408
00:25:28.359 --> 00:25:33.799
<v Speaker 2>What does that mean? That means they're in clinical meetings, right,

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00:25:34.359 --> 00:25:36.640
<v Speaker 2>And one of my therapists will say, well, I think

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00:25:36.680 --> 00:25:42.000
<v Speaker 2>I should treat Bobby because of this thing and I

411
00:25:42.720 --> 00:25:46.400
<v Speaker 2>got him on that, And then this other therapist will say, no, no, no, no, no,

412
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<v Speaker 2>I get him. And the reason I get him is

413
00:25:49.039 --> 00:25:52.839
<v Speaker 2>because of X Y Z, right, And so they literally

414
00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:57.519
<v Speaker 2>fight to get the client and they sit, but it's

415
00:25:57.559 --> 00:26:01.480
<v Speaker 2>got to be consensus, right, they sit In other words

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00:26:01.720 --> 00:26:05.079
<v Speaker 2>I'm talking about there. We spend more time doing that,

417
00:26:05.279 --> 00:26:09.319
<v Speaker 2>probably between ten and twenty hours of that. We spend

418
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<v Speaker 2>more time just figuring out who the best therapist is

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<v Speaker 2>for this particular client than most places spend treating the

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<v Speaker 2>client itself.

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<v Speaker 3>That's never been done before. Okay.

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00:26:25.880 --> 00:26:31.160
<v Speaker 2>So when you have that type of setup, okay, you

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<v Speaker 2>get better results.

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<v Speaker 1>Intentional, right, contentional. Let's go back to love. What I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>everyone knows what love is, but what does that look

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<v Speaker 1>like in practice? So you've got to have the love?

427
00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:48.880
<v Speaker 2>Okay?

428
00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:49.440
<v Speaker 1>What does that mean?

429
00:26:49.799 --> 00:26:54.559
<v Speaker 2>Okay, well what does that mean? What that means is

430
00:26:55.200 --> 00:26:59.000
<v Speaker 2>somebody is walking into treatment and the first thing they

431
00:26:59.039 --> 00:27:06.119
<v Speaker 2>have to do is this, Yes, okay, I can hang

432
00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:07.039
<v Speaker 2>out here a little bit.

433
00:27:08.039 --> 00:27:12.480
<v Speaker 3>Okay, they feel safe, that's the first thing. Okay. Then

434
00:27:12.519 --> 00:27:14.880
<v Speaker 3>they have to feel supported. Right.

435
00:27:15.119 --> 00:27:17.880
<v Speaker 2>So a drug addict or an alcoholic, someone with substance

436
00:27:17.960 --> 00:27:23.920
<v Speaker 2>use disorder will walk in okay, completely shame based, but

437
00:27:24.079 --> 00:27:29.240
<v Speaker 2>also distrusting. Right, they've been to other treatment centers. They

438
00:27:29.279 --> 00:27:32.920
<v Speaker 2>know it's about the money, all this bullshit, right, and

439
00:27:32.960 --> 00:27:40.599
<v Speaker 2>they're not wrong. But then they come here. And alcoholics

440
00:27:40.640 --> 00:27:44.759
<v Speaker 2>and drug addicts are very very smart people. We are

441
00:27:45.119 --> 00:27:49.920
<v Speaker 2>extremely talented when we get sober. But we know we've

442
00:27:49.960 --> 00:27:53.799
<v Speaker 2>got a bullshit radar, and so if it's not true,

443
00:27:53.880 --> 00:28:01.599
<v Speaker 2>if it's not authentic, we know it immediately. So what

444
00:28:01.680 --> 00:28:07.799
<v Speaker 2>does support look like? Okay, anytime someone has a problem,

445
00:28:09.000 --> 00:28:12.119
<v Speaker 2>you have a therapist come to him immediately so that

446
00:28:12.279 --> 00:28:17.279
<v Speaker 2>he doesn't sit with this discomfort without being able to

447
00:28:17.359 --> 00:28:19.960
<v Speaker 2>process it and get to the other side of it quickly.

448
00:28:21.400 --> 00:28:27.559
<v Speaker 2>That's not done. That's not done. That's why nobody leaves, okay,

449
00:28:27.920 --> 00:28:29.880
<v Speaker 2>because they're contained in a cocoon.

450
00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:33.319
<v Speaker 3>Listen. I just went to the center.

451
00:28:33.119 --> 00:28:38.880
<v Speaker 2>The other day and I'm watching somebody ask for I'm

452
00:28:38.920 --> 00:28:41.759
<v Speaker 2>just visiting some friends, not working, not doing anything.

453
00:28:42.240 --> 00:28:43.640
<v Speaker 3>Just you know, I can't.

454
00:28:43.720 --> 00:28:45.480
<v Speaker 2>You know, I live in Puerto Rico and I came

455
00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:49.000
<v Speaker 2>in to La and I want to see my friends, right,

456
00:28:49.119 --> 00:28:51.519
<v Speaker 2>So a lot of them work work at the center,

457
00:28:51.640 --> 00:28:55.039
<v Speaker 2>so I go to see it and I witness this

458
00:28:55.519 --> 00:29:00.000
<v Speaker 2>guy at the last minute ask for something totally differ

459
00:29:00.480 --> 00:29:06.000
<v Speaker 2>for the chef okay to eat and the chef said

460
00:29:06.680 --> 00:29:12.279
<v Speaker 2>absolutely without Now I know that happens because I tell

461
00:29:12.319 --> 00:29:16.079
<v Speaker 2>people that happens, But this was as it's being served

462
00:29:16.480 --> 00:29:18.480
<v Speaker 2>and he's going to he put it all out and

463
00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:22.440
<v Speaker 2>then he went and made him a completely different thing okay,

464
00:29:24.200 --> 00:29:27.839
<v Speaker 2>And I just felt really good about it. That felt

465
00:29:28.279 --> 00:29:31.079
<v Speaker 2>loving to me. That's not something that would be done

466
00:29:31.119 --> 00:29:38.599
<v Speaker 2>at any center. But what I really loved was the

467
00:29:38.599 --> 00:29:43.279
<v Speaker 2>therapists who ate with the clients and sat there and

468
00:29:43.680 --> 00:29:48.759
<v Speaker 2>didn't go into their offices and actually processed with the

469
00:29:48.799 --> 00:29:50.759
<v Speaker 2>clients what they're doing and.

470
00:29:50.680 --> 00:29:53.680
<v Speaker 3>What's going on. But then I noticed something.

471
00:29:55.160 --> 00:30:01.319
<v Speaker 2>I noticed my therapist taking her place, but taking other

472
00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:05.319
<v Speaker 2>people's plates and stacking them and taking it and everybody said,

473
00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:11.240
<v Speaker 2>thank you. Now, this is probably the single most sought

474
00:30:11.319 --> 00:30:18.640
<v Speaker 2>after therapist in our industry. There's not anybody who wouldn't

475
00:30:18.720 --> 00:30:21.279
<v Speaker 2>hire her to be their clinical director. I can promise

476
00:30:21.319 --> 00:30:26.960
<v Speaker 2>you that. But she has the heart of a servant

477
00:30:28.559 --> 00:30:32.680
<v Speaker 2>and she does it joyfully. And when you do that,

478
00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:35.200
<v Speaker 2>and so do I. So when you do that from

479
00:30:35.279 --> 00:30:41.000
<v Speaker 2>the top down, it filters into the rest of the organization, right,

480
00:30:41.319 --> 00:30:45.480
<v Speaker 2>and they understand that you have to do this thing

481
00:30:46.079 --> 00:30:51.559
<v Speaker 2>with the heart of a servant joyfully. It's their turn.

482
00:30:52.200 --> 00:30:54.920
<v Speaker 2>We had a turn. It's their turn.

483
00:30:55.680 --> 00:30:59.359
<v Speaker 1>And now being the client, the client, the client's turn

484
00:31:00.160 --> 00:31:02.400
<v Speaker 1>for what to receive? What to be.

485
00:31:02.440 --> 00:31:05.880
<v Speaker 2>Lovey, to receive the love. We received the love when

486
00:31:05.920 --> 00:31:08.880
<v Speaker 2>we got sober. They're going to receive the love here

487
00:31:08.920 --> 00:31:12.559
<v Speaker 2>today and we're going to hold them and make certain

488
00:31:12.599 --> 00:31:15.440
<v Speaker 2>that they're okay in the world. Well, all they got

489
00:31:15.480 --> 00:31:17.880
<v Speaker 2>to do is be open and honest.

490
00:31:18.319 --> 00:31:18.720
<v Speaker 3>What did you.

491
00:31:18.799 --> 00:31:23.440
<v Speaker 1>Jus, how do you how come on Richard, you speak

492
00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:25.160
<v Speaker 1>about this, I don't know if you do it. It comes

493
00:31:25.160 --> 00:31:27.559
<v Speaker 1>across as you speak about this, like this is the

494
00:31:27.559 --> 00:31:29.880
<v Speaker 1>way to do How did you get to this point

495
00:31:30.119 --> 00:31:38.519
<v Speaker 1>where you're sitting here where that is the ingredient, that's

496
00:31:38.559 --> 00:31:40.440
<v Speaker 1>the nurturing that's needed to do this.

497
00:31:40.519 --> 00:31:44.279
<v Speaker 2>Work because just because things were done a certain way

498
00:31:44.359 --> 00:31:47.559
<v Speaker 2>for a long time doesn't mean that's the best way

499
00:31:47.599 --> 00:31:50.960
<v Speaker 2>to do it. Better is better, okay, And I don't

500
00:31:50.960 --> 00:31:54.200
<v Speaker 2>care how other people do their things. I'll try anything,

501
00:31:54.559 --> 00:31:58.119
<v Speaker 2>and I've tried everything. Okay, better is better.

502
00:31:58.599 --> 00:32:01.559
<v Speaker 1>When did you experience that love?

503
00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:04.799
<v Speaker 3>When did all experience in that.

504
00:32:04.960 --> 00:32:08.400
<v Speaker 1>Setting when you was like, this is freaking what I needed.

505
00:32:11.720 --> 00:32:15.799
<v Speaker 2>I never had a treatment experience. I never went to rehab.

506
00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:19.759
<v Speaker 2>I went to sober living where I felt the love there.

507
00:32:20.720 --> 00:32:21.039
<v Speaker 3>Okay.

508
00:32:21.359 --> 00:32:24.000
<v Speaker 2>Ended up buying that sober living and then I ended

509
00:32:24.039 --> 00:32:29.000
<v Speaker 2>up giving it back to them after I made it perfect.

510
00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:34.680
<v Speaker 2>But I had sober living therapy and AA and that's

511
00:32:34.839 --> 00:32:39.240
<v Speaker 2>the as well as other things, And that's the program

512
00:32:39.400 --> 00:32:43.559
<v Speaker 2>primarily that I made for myself by accident. I just

513
00:32:43.640 --> 00:32:45.720
<v Speaker 2>knew that that's what I needed to do.

514
00:32:47.960 --> 00:32:54.559
<v Speaker 1>That said was their love sprinkled throughout that I felt

515
00:32:54.559 --> 00:32:55.519
<v Speaker 1>the love and all of it.

516
00:32:55.759 --> 00:32:57.160
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I felt the love and all of it.

517
00:32:57.200 --> 00:32:58.839
<v Speaker 3>I got listen. I got really lucky.

518
00:32:59.240 --> 00:33:03.960
<v Speaker 2>I ended up at Sober Living where I'm still friends

519
00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:08.200
<v Speaker 2>with a bunch of guys that I went to Sober

520
00:33:08.200 --> 00:33:14.400
<v Speaker 2>Living with very close still with one of them. I

521
00:33:14.440 --> 00:33:18.839
<v Speaker 2>felt the love with my therapist Margie. She was wonderful.

522
00:33:18.920 --> 00:33:25.680
<v Speaker 2>And I've been with John now for eighteen years writing

523
00:33:26.079 --> 00:33:30.200
<v Speaker 2>Best in the World. Feel the love there. I felt

524
00:33:30.200 --> 00:33:33.680
<v Speaker 2>the love in AA when I went to AA. You

525
00:33:33.720 --> 00:33:38.559
<v Speaker 2>know you go to AA, you know they're taught to

526
00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:43.319
<v Speaker 2>love the newcomer right away. And so I felt the

527
00:33:43.440 --> 00:33:47.079
<v Speaker 2>love so and that was important for me, and that

528
00:33:47.319 --> 00:33:50.920
<v Speaker 2>was the reason that I created what I call love

529
00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:55.200
<v Speaker 2>call right. I needed look, I needed to be loved.

530
00:33:55.200 --> 00:33:56.039
<v Speaker 3>Look.

531
00:33:56.359 --> 00:34:02.000
<v Speaker 2>The reason why alcoholics and drug addicts don't feel love

532
00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:07.680
<v Speaker 2>is because they're not known. In order to be loved,

533
00:34:08.559 --> 00:34:11.960
<v Speaker 2>you have to be known, right. If they don't know.

534
00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:17.760
<v Speaker 2>If you're not willing to show someone authentically who you are,

535
00:34:18.880 --> 00:34:22.480
<v Speaker 2>then you can never receive love because you haven't showed

536
00:34:22.519 --> 00:34:27.480
<v Speaker 2>anybody who you are, and because if you did, they

537
00:34:27.519 --> 00:34:28.360
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't love you.

538
00:34:29.280 --> 00:34:30.920
<v Speaker 3>So you can't take that in ever.

539
00:34:32.559 --> 00:34:38.760
<v Speaker 2>Right, There's simple things that you can do over twenty

540
00:34:38.840 --> 00:34:41.960
<v Speaker 2>years that you've been in this industry, that you learn

541
00:34:42.599 --> 00:34:47.079
<v Speaker 2>and you know, and like I said, you know, I

542
00:34:47.119 --> 00:34:50.320
<v Speaker 2>was on a talk show and some doctor says, yeah,

543
00:34:50.320 --> 00:34:55.000
<v Speaker 2>but you're not a doctor, right, And I'm like yeah,

544
00:34:55.159 --> 00:34:57.519
<v Speaker 2>he goes and he says and this is antidotal, And

545
00:34:57.559 --> 00:35:00.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, no, dude, it ain't anecdotal. When you give

546
00:35:00.480 --> 00:35:02.920
<v Speaker 2>ten thousand people back their loved ones and you've been

547
00:35:02.960 --> 00:35:06.719
<v Speaker 2>doing this twenty years, that's called field research. I'm the

548
00:35:06.719 --> 00:35:12.599
<v Speaker 2>guy the data is based on. Okay, no, no smart

549
00:35:12.639 --> 00:35:13.480
<v Speaker 2>ass remark for that.

550
00:35:15.719 --> 00:35:20.039
<v Speaker 1>All right, Richard. You know what, one of the reasons

551
00:35:20.039 --> 00:35:24.880
<v Speaker 1>why I love talking to you is obviously you're no bs,

552
00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:31.199
<v Speaker 1>but to hear you speaking about the power the necessity

553
00:35:31.199 --> 00:35:36.480
<v Speaker 1>of love is vital today, not just in addiction treatment

554
00:35:36.639 --> 00:35:39.239
<v Speaker 1>or recovery treatment, but in our world.

555
00:35:40.840 --> 00:35:50.559
<v Speaker 2>We starve for human touch, to be known for community.

556
00:35:51.719 --> 00:35:57.679
<v Speaker 2>We're starving for it. Yep, we're starving for it today.

557
00:35:58.599 --> 00:36:05.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I appreciate you. I appreciate your heart and

558
00:36:04.599 --> 00:36:10.920
<v Speaker 1>your compassion in this field. It's an inspiration.

559
00:36:12.079 --> 00:36:12.599
<v Speaker 3>Thanks man.

560
00:36:13.000 --> 00:36:13.400
<v Speaker 1>Listen.

561
00:36:14.159 --> 00:36:17.880
<v Speaker 2>The only thing I care about this time around, Okay,

562
00:36:18.079 --> 00:36:21.360
<v Speaker 2>And it's the only reason I do this type of stuff, okay,

563
00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:28.239
<v Speaker 2>is to beg parents to have the fatanyl conversation with

564
00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:31.639
<v Speaker 2>their children so that they don't have to deal with

565
00:36:31.880 --> 00:36:36.519
<v Speaker 2>the unconscionable pain of losing a child. That's why I

566
00:36:36.639 --> 00:36:40.280
<v Speaker 2>do these things, okay. And if you've got a kid

567
00:36:41.400 --> 00:36:45.599
<v Speaker 2>or a wife or a husband who's doing drugs right now,

568
00:36:46.480 --> 00:36:49.559
<v Speaker 2>even if they're doing it pills with the pharmacy, the

569
00:36:49.599 --> 00:36:52.199
<v Speaker 2>second they get cut off, man, they're going to be looking.

570
00:36:53.199 --> 00:36:54.599
<v Speaker 2>They're going to go to the street. They're going to

571
00:36:54.639 --> 00:36:57.159
<v Speaker 2>find a friend who can figure that out for them.

572
00:36:57.360 --> 00:36:57.760
<v Speaker 3>Okay.

573
00:36:58.280 --> 00:37:02.960
<v Speaker 2>And you know the stats are between forty and seventy percent.

574
00:37:03.079 --> 00:37:06.679
<v Speaker 2>You get different figures all the time that these pills

575
00:37:06.679 --> 00:37:09.960
<v Speaker 2>and powders are laced with fentanyl on the street.

576
00:37:10.639 --> 00:37:12.000
<v Speaker 3>You know that's.

577
00:37:12.920 --> 00:37:15.800
<v Speaker 2>If this is if this is the world you're living in,

578
00:37:16.280 --> 00:37:18.559
<v Speaker 2>you've got to send your kid to treatment or your

579
00:37:18.559 --> 00:37:21.800
<v Speaker 2>loved one to treatment. Now now I'm not talking about

580
00:37:21.880 --> 00:37:26.360
<v Speaker 2>for pot or a little drinking. Okay, then you go

581
00:37:26.400 --> 00:37:29.079
<v Speaker 2>to the therapist and you work from there.

582
00:37:29.480 --> 00:37:34.400
<v Speaker 3>Okay. But a powder or a pill.

583
00:37:35.440 --> 00:37:38.440
<v Speaker 2>No, no, no, no, there is no discussion, There is no debate.

584
00:37:38.800 --> 00:37:41.119
<v Speaker 2>We're not going to talk about it. Get in the

585
00:37:41.280 --> 00:37:45.519
<v Speaker 2>damn car We're going to treatment. Okay, and that's it

586
00:37:45.840 --> 00:37:50.199
<v Speaker 2>the end. Okay. It's got to be that way, folks,

587
00:37:50.280 --> 00:37:53.679
<v Speaker 2>It's got to be that way. Otherwise the pain is

588
00:37:53.800 --> 00:37:57.000
<v Speaker 2>so great that if I think about it, I'll fall apart.

589
00:37:58.679 --> 00:38:01.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay, all right, Richard, how do people learn more about

590
00:38:01.840 --> 00:38:03.360
<v Speaker 1>you and what you're doing?

591
00:38:05.079 --> 00:38:08.199
<v Speaker 2>You can always call Carrera Treatment Wellness and SPA.

592
00:38:08.239 --> 00:38:10.800
<v Speaker 3>That c A R R A r A.

593
00:38:11.719 --> 00:38:14.880
<v Speaker 2>If you have a problem, if we can't help you

594
00:38:16.519 --> 00:38:19.760
<v Speaker 2>or send you to one of our affordable treatment centers,

595
00:38:20.079 --> 00:38:21.679
<v Speaker 2>we will find a place for you.

596
00:38:22.239 --> 00:38:22.679
<v Speaker 3>Okay.

597
00:38:22.880 --> 00:38:25.280
<v Speaker 2>We don't ever want anybody to think because they can't

598
00:38:25.280 --> 00:38:28.800
<v Speaker 2>afford it, uh, we don't care about them, or we

599
00:38:28.800 --> 00:38:31.079
<v Speaker 2>don't want to help them. Your options aren't going to

600
00:38:31.119 --> 00:38:35.320
<v Speaker 2>be great, okay, but we got options okay.

601
00:38:36.119 --> 00:38:39.519
<v Speaker 1>And the podcast number one and Apple.

602
00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:42.679
<v Speaker 3>It's called We're Out of Time. We look at your tape.

603
00:38:43.320 --> 00:38:44.920
<v Speaker 3>It's the type of thing you want to watch and

604
00:38:44.960 --> 00:38:45.719
<v Speaker 3>I'll listen.

605
00:38:45.480 --> 00:38:48.199
<v Speaker 1>To really Okay. We'll have that link up here at

606
00:38:48.199 --> 00:38:50.800
<v Speaker 1>the show notes page at the Trauma Therapists podcast dot com.

607
00:38:51.280 --> 00:38:55.360
<v Speaker 1>Always great having you want here, Appreciate you. Thanks, all right,

608
00:38:55.480 --> 00:39:00.880
<v Speaker 1>take care. Two