WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:01.639 Are you. I'm good. 2 00:00:01.720 --> 00:00:04.440 You seem a little nervous. I am my, are you nervous? 3 00:00:04.480 --> 00:00:06.719 Talks in Texas? So you got to shake out the nerves. 4 00:00:06.799 --> 00:00:09.800 I always get nervous before these. Why you know, we're 5 00:00:09.839 --> 00:00:11.679 just two girlfriends or we're talking. 6 00:00:11.800 --> 00:00:13.839 It's a private conversation where you need to know each 7 00:00:13.880 --> 00:00:15.640 other a little bit better, and by the end of 8 00:00:15.679 --> 00:00:17.480 this it'll be like we're good friends. Yeah. 9 00:00:18.239 --> 00:00:19.160 I won't buits you too hard? 10 00:00:20.480 --> 00:00:22.719 All right, this man, So, what have you been up 11 00:00:22.760 --> 00:00:25.079 to since twenty twenty four just started? We we're only 12 00:00:25.120 --> 00:00:28.399 liking at the end of February. Did you go attend. 13 00:00:28.039 --> 00:00:31.160 AVN or have you been shooting content from the beginning 14 00:00:31.199 --> 00:00:31.640 of the year. 15 00:00:32.240 --> 00:00:34.439 What have you been up to? I'm like, should I 16 00:00:34.439 --> 00:00:36.560 tell the truth about Avier? Or should I just you 17 00:00:36.600 --> 00:00:39.280 should tell the truth? I used to have much fun 18 00:00:39.320 --> 00:00:41.399 and that said, I want the truth. I wish I 19 00:00:41.439 --> 00:00:43.600 had it right now. Definitely want the truth. 20 00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:46.200 Tell us to see really messed up story. I would 21 00:00:46.200 --> 00:00:48.079 love to hear it. Let's fill it out here on 22 00:00:48.159 --> 00:00:48.759 private talk. 23 00:00:49.000 --> 00:00:50.960 So I went to first day. Okay, mind you, I 24 00:00:50.960 --> 00:00:54.560 didn't want to go at all for my mental health sake. Okay, 25 00:00:55.960 --> 00:00:58.759 have you been before. Yeah, okay, yeah I. 26 00:00:58.759 --> 00:01:00.799 Went last year and that's why I don't know, you 27 00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:03.200 knew that there was too much for you kind of thing. 28 00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:05.799 Yeah, I just feel like after Christmas. You know, I'm 29 00:01:05.840 --> 00:01:08.799 big on my finances and business, so I just felt 30 00:01:08.840 --> 00:01:12.120 like after Christmas last time, they just threw everything together 31 00:01:12.560 --> 00:01:15.200 and it doesn't really give you much time to like 32 00:01:15.319 --> 00:01:18.439 catch back up and working abe in Okay. The way 33 00:01:18.439 --> 00:01:21.439 they set it up then you have expis like right afterwards. 34 00:01:21.439 --> 00:01:23.159 So now you're taking up almost two weeks of my 35 00:01:23.239 --> 00:01:27.000 month and very calculated okay with my money. So that 36 00:01:27.159 --> 00:01:29.439 bothers me for one too. I don't like being around 37 00:01:29.480 --> 00:01:33.200 a lot of people and there's not always very good 38 00:01:33.319 --> 00:01:37.200 energy around, so that just kind of like gets to me. 39 00:01:38.040 --> 00:01:41.640 I had like panic attacks last year. It was overwhelming. 40 00:01:42.040 --> 00:01:43.760 It was just a lot, okay for me. 41 00:01:44.079 --> 00:01:46.400 Do you have anybody to go to to kind of 42 00:01:46.400 --> 00:01:48.920 like help you out and you were struggling with that 43 00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:49.560 kind of stuff. 44 00:01:52.040 --> 00:01:52.719 Not really. 45 00:01:52.920 --> 00:01:55.640 Maybe it was just a few people that might have 46 00:01:55.760 --> 00:01:58.439 been close by. But I think I'm a very reclusive 47 00:01:58.560 --> 00:02:00.760 like self. I'm used to dealing with things on my own, 48 00:02:00.799 --> 00:02:03.920 so I kind of just you know, go into it. 49 00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:05.760 But No, I don't know a lot of people. I 50 00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:10.000 don't hang out with a lot of people, So okay, 51 00:02:10.120 --> 00:02:10.439 not real. 52 00:02:10.479 --> 00:02:12.840 So you kept it to yourself. So this year you 53 00:02:12.919 --> 00:02:14.680 were asked to do it again and you were like, 54 00:02:14.879 --> 00:02:16.280 I don't really know, but they it's. 55 00:02:16.120 --> 00:02:18.879 Whoever is they? Or is your agent or who? 56 00:02:19.159 --> 00:02:20.599 Yeah, I just feel like it's one of those things 57 00:02:20.639 --> 00:02:23.800 where it's like, oh, you're supposed to do this, you know, 58 00:02:23.879 --> 00:02:26.280 and I don't feel like it really does anything for. 59 00:02:27.159 --> 00:02:29.319 So did you sign for a company? Did you sign 60 00:02:29.439 --> 00:02:31.479 for did you just go for yourself or how? What 61 00:02:31.520 --> 00:02:32.599 did did you end up going? 62 00:02:33.280 --> 00:02:33.479 Well? 63 00:02:33.599 --> 00:02:36.919 I did, but I didn't. I went with my agent. 64 00:02:37.719 --> 00:02:39.680 So I showed up the first day and I get 65 00:02:39.680 --> 00:02:40.280 really nervous. 66 00:02:40.280 --> 00:02:43.960 So then I'll drink a lot and then well, you 67 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:46.639 know that doesn't always end up very well, cause last 68 00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:48.159 year I just got so nervous. 69 00:02:48.199 --> 00:02:49.360 I was like throwing up blood. 70 00:02:49.599 --> 00:02:52.919 Like the night before the actual like show, I was 71 00:02:52.960 --> 00:02:56.120 having like my chest pains are really bad, hearts pounding, 72 00:02:56.120 --> 00:02:56.879 I couldn't sleep. 73 00:02:56.919 --> 00:02:59.159 So it's like, why put myself through all that? To 74 00:02:59.240 --> 00:03:02.000 f It's that you like, what makes you get to 75 00:03:02.039 --> 00:03:02.879 that point where. 76 00:03:02.719 --> 00:03:07.120 You feel that much anxiety about just the show as 77 00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:09.719 that it's being around the people social anxiety. I have 78 00:03:09.800 --> 00:03:13.439 social I have like anxiety disorders, so I say that 79 00:03:13.479 --> 00:03:18.520 in plural. I have social anxiety, have PTSD. So just 80 00:03:18.560 --> 00:03:22.759 being around so much going on just like startles Meah. 81 00:03:22.759 --> 00:03:27.800 And you know, so this year, I went the first 82 00:03:27.879 --> 00:03:29.400 day and I'm not going to. 83 00:03:29.400 --> 00:03:30.759 Say who the girl is because I'm not going to 84 00:03:30.759 --> 00:03:32.319 give her the credit and she's not really even in 85 00:03:32.400 --> 00:03:34.840 the actual pro industry. I'm not even sure why she 86 00:03:34.919 --> 00:03:38.759 was there. But anyways, I usually don't have much negative 87 00:03:38.759 --> 00:03:41.000 to say, but I think the situation was really messed up, 88 00:03:41.159 --> 00:03:44.240 and since Avian won't talk to me, I feel like 89 00:03:44.319 --> 00:03:48.120 opening up about it pure maybe might make me feel better. 90 00:03:47.919 --> 00:03:49.599 Since nobody wants to talk to me about it. 91 00:03:50.879 --> 00:03:52.479 So I went over to the bar and I was 92 00:03:52.520 --> 00:03:54.400 getting some drinks and there was this girl there and 93 00:03:54.439 --> 00:03:55.439 we had a short. 94 00:03:55.159 --> 00:03:56.560 Exchange of an argument. 95 00:03:57.080 --> 00:04:00.360 I don't know what she said to Avian, but they 96 00:04:00.439 --> 00:04:02.159 kicked me out, okay. 97 00:04:02.080 --> 00:04:03.960 And that was very, very painful. 98 00:04:04.120 --> 00:04:07.000 For the fact that I've been in the industry three 99 00:04:07.080 --> 00:04:08.800 years now, I think we've all put a lot of 100 00:04:08.840 --> 00:04:09.159 work in. 101 00:04:09.400 --> 00:04:11.000 It's not like I'm like, oh my god, I've done 102 00:04:11.039 --> 00:04:11.719 so much. 103 00:04:11.919 --> 00:04:14.719 But I just felt like, after everything, and this person's 104 00:04:14.759 --> 00:04:17.199 not even in the pro you took her word whatever 105 00:04:17.240 --> 00:04:18.680 she said to you. I have no idea if they 106 00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:22.720 kicked her out as well. It was a very short argument. 107 00:04:22.800 --> 00:04:24.879 I've never had a problem with anyone in the past, 108 00:04:25.319 --> 00:04:27.560 So I felt like after spending five hundred dollars on 109 00:04:27.560 --> 00:04:29.399 a dress, I never got to wards hanging in my 110 00:04:29.399 --> 00:04:32.839 closet all of the stuff I bought to sell, I 111 00:04:32.879 --> 00:04:35.480 really didn't want to go. I worked myself up for 112 00:04:35.480 --> 00:04:37.519 about three months to be able to do this and 113 00:04:37.560 --> 00:04:39.759 then just to get thrown to the wayside by Avy 114 00:04:39.839 --> 00:04:42.399 and they wouldn't talk to me. I couldn't talk to them. 115 00:04:42.519 --> 00:04:45.160 They just said, nope, give me your badge, you're out. 116 00:04:45.560 --> 00:04:48.240 And I felt like, okay, so I've invested money to 117 00:04:48.279 --> 00:04:50.399 be here. This is a career, it's a business, and 118 00:04:50.439 --> 00:04:53.399 you're just gonna treat me like that. 119 00:04:54.160 --> 00:04:56.920 Still to this day, I've even had like, you know, hey, 120 00:04:57.000 --> 00:05:01.199 so the show the convention that actually and the words 121 00:05:01.639 --> 00:05:01.959 or like the. 122 00:05:03.680 --> 00:05:05.399 So then I couldn't go to the awards show, I 123 00:05:05.399 --> 00:05:07.160 couldn't do anything. I couldn't go to the parties that 124 00:05:07.160 --> 00:05:08.240 I had bought dresses. 125 00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:11.079 For what was this argument? It was just the day. 126 00:05:11.399 --> 00:05:13.519 I remember what it was because you said that you 127 00:05:13.519 --> 00:05:16.639 were seking and was it something crazy or yeah. 128 00:05:16.439 --> 00:05:18.600 I just you know, we just for some reason, she 129 00:05:18.600 --> 00:05:20.839 doesn't really like me for whatever reason, and I felt 130 00:05:20.839 --> 00:05:23.759 like I supported her and you know, paying for like 131 00:05:23.839 --> 00:05:26.879 promos or going to her content events. And then after 132 00:05:26.920 --> 00:05:29.040 that she's always giving me dirty. Look, she's just being 133 00:05:29.160 --> 00:05:31.680 very rude and she doesn't have a good rap with 134 00:05:31.680 --> 00:05:35.240 with anyone, you know, and so I just was like, yeah, 135 00:05:35.279 --> 00:05:37.399 you're rude, you know. And then we just snapped back 136 00:05:37.439 --> 00:05:40.560 to each other real quick, and then she scurried off 137 00:05:40.600 --> 00:05:41.759 and the next thing, you know. 138 00:05:41.800 --> 00:05:43.399 There was only verbal and no physical. 139 00:05:43.560 --> 00:05:46.279 Yes, so I could totally understand if it was this 140 00:05:46.439 --> 00:05:48.680 huge scene and people put their hands on each other. 141 00:05:49.000 --> 00:05:54.000 Yeah, but yeah, it was totally uncalled for. So was 142 00:05:54.040 --> 00:05:57.439 it security or was it actual ahead of AVNS? Ahead 143 00:05:57.439 --> 00:05:58.439 of then No, they went that. 144 00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:00.720 My agent tried to speak to them and everything went 145 00:06:00.759 --> 00:06:01.720 through the whole thing. 146 00:06:02.480 --> 00:06:04.199 Your agent doesn't even know what was to do, now, 147 00:06:04.240 --> 00:06:04.600 mind you. 148 00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:07.079 When I had to sit in a hotel room waiting 149 00:06:07.079 --> 00:06:08.560 to find out if I was even allowed to go 150 00:06:08.639 --> 00:06:12.439 back or not. Nobody's texting me back. I've called several people. 151 00:06:12.600 --> 00:06:15.680 Nobody cares, nobody's answering the phone. Everyone's worried about themselves, 152 00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:17.879 which is fine. I'm not entitled to anybody to care. 153 00:06:18.360 --> 00:06:20.319 But the fact of the matter is is you're just 154 00:06:20.360 --> 00:06:22.519 feeling so alone in that moment. Why am I even 155 00:06:22.560 --> 00:06:23.199 here right now? 156 00:06:23.360 --> 00:06:26.839 Yeah, you know, that's unfortunate, and I'm sorry that you. 157 00:06:26.879 --> 00:06:29.399 Had to go through that, and that your experiences has 158 00:06:29.519 --> 00:06:31.480 been bad with the Avian. It's first time being like 159 00:06:31.560 --> 00:06:33.759 just the anxiety part and then like you know, getting 160 00:06:33.759 --> 00:06:36.160 yourself to where you could finally go and then it 161 00:06:36.160 --> 00:06:39.079 didn't end up because of somebody's whatever was told. And 162 00:06:39.120 --> 00:06:41.560 it's not fair in the sense the fact that you 163 00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:44.519 weren't given a chance to even rebuttal to what nothing 164 00:06:44.639 --> 00:06:46.120 was set even you. 165 00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:47.439 Know what I mean. And that is the kind of 166 00:06:47.480 --> 00:06:48.240 misfortunate part. 167 00:06:48.279 --> 00:06:50.560 And that's what's kind of where it's kind of I 168 00:06:50.560 --> 00:06:52.240 don't underget that part or whatever. 169 00:06:52.319 --> 00:06:54.319 Again if it was a physical and it was only verbal, 170 00:06:54.399 --> 00:06:56.759 so it's misfortunate. But at the end of the day, 171 00:06:57.560 --> 00:07:02.079 you don't need them, and it's unfortunate, And obviously went 172 00:07:02.120 --> 00:07:04.240 to the proper channels. You didn't do anything whatever, but 173 00:07:04.279 --> 00:07:06.600 if you feel a certain way, you're entitled to feel 174 00:07:06.600 --> 00:07:08.879 that way. You do put money out on doing things. 175 00:07:09.079 --> 00:07:11.560 It is a company and a business that you feel 176 00:07:11.600 --> 00:07:13.759 like you should be protected to because you are there 177 00:07:13.839 --> 00:07:17.560 to doing step work for that business. So you know, 178 00:07:17.600 --> 00:07:20.600 it's not you know, bad to feel the way that 179 00:07:20.639 --> 00:07:22.680 you feel, and it's you know, it sucks that nobody 180 00:07:22.720 --> 00:07:25.759 heard you, and you know, hopefully it gets rectified to 181 00:07:25.800 --> 00:07:28.519 a situation that you could probably come to an agreement 182 00:07:28.519 --> 00:07:31.800 of some sorts that makes whatever happen better. 183 00:07:32.079 --> 00:07:34.600 And you can't take it back because obviously it happened. 184 00:07:34.639 --> 00:07:36.439 You didn't get to go to the awards, and that's 185 00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:39.199 the unfortunate part. And you know, things are very chaotic, 186 00:07:39.199 --> 00:07:42.360 which again doesn't make things right of people didn't get 187 00:07:42.399 --> 00:07:44.439 back to you soon enough because of the severity of 188 00:07:44.439 --> 00:07:46.240 what it was. Who knows, you know what I mean, 189 00:07:46.279 --> 00:07:49.040 but it's unfortunate. So I'm sorry that you had to 190 00:07:49.160 --> 00:07:52.560 go through that. But your feelings do matter, and you 191 00:07:52.600 --> 00:07:54.519 do are a part of the business and you should 192 00:07:54.560 --> 00:07:58.040 be treated equally just like everybody else. And you know 193 00:07:58.199 --> 00:08:01.639 your opinions and your thoughts do better, So just. 194 00:08:01.639 --> 00:08:04.879 Know that exactly it was. Really. 195 00:08:05.040 --> 00:08:07.319 That's the thing is like sometimes things I think sometimes 196 00:08:07.439 --> 00:08:10.079 depending on who, what the things, situations are, is things 197 00:08:10.079 --> 00:08:12.480 may become caddy, things can be whatever. And that's not 198 00:08:12.519 --> 00:08:14.160 really fear if that's just what it was and it 199 00:08:14.199 --> 00:08:17.519 wasn't something extreme, right, you know what I mean, Especially 200 00:08:17.519 --> 00:08:20.160 like if it wasn't, why weren't the cops involved? It's 201 00:08:20.199 --> 00:08:22.480 dagis somebody's all you don't mean that was consituation, you 202 00:08:22.519 --> 00:08:24.360 know what I mean? So it could have been all 203 00:08:24.360 --> 00:08:25.560 differ I wasn't kicked out. 204 00:08:25.399 --> 00:08:28.079 Of the hotel, which was also strange. Yeah, it was 205 00:08:28.160 --> 00:08:30.519 a v in and so yeah, I just felt like 206 00:08:30.600 --> 00:08:33.279 after everything that I've put in and all the good 207 00:08:33.279 --> 00:08:35.240 that I've done and the fact that I was nominated 208 00:08:35.320 --> 00:08:39.159 last year, you know with exisiting av IN and it's 209 00:08:39.200 --> 00:08:41.240 like I've never had a problem with anyone on set. 210 00:08:41.120 --> 00:08:42.919 And don't think I have a bad rap and you 211 00:08:42.960 --> 00:08:44.639 know or whatever. So I just kind of felt like 212 00:08:44.679 --> 00:08:47.000 it was it was just the day We're argument. 213 00:08:47.600 --> 00:08:49.840 Something is is that if it wasn't something that severe, 214 00:08:49.879 --> 00:08:52.320 then you should have been like kicked out of, you know, 215 00:08:52.399 --> 00:08:55.840 something completely as a convention as a whole, you know, 216 00:08:55.960 --> 00:08:59.200 so it's again unfortunate, but it's also in the same 217 00:08:59.559 --> 00:09:04.399 day and age of your content provider creator and you 218 00:09:04.720 --> 00:09:06.600 don't have to go to a v and you don't 219 00:09:06.600 --> 00:09:08.320 have to go to expis, you don't have to be 220 00:09:08.320 --> 00:09:10.240 a part of those things, and you'll still make the 221 00:09:10.279 --> 00:09:13.080 money that you're doing. Is it good to do those things, Yes, 222 00:09:13.120 --> 00:09:15.360 But if you're having problems with those things, you could 223 00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:18.240 do it your own way and you know, or talk 224 00:09:19.000 --> 00:09:20.840 how you're speaking to me, you're talking to you know, 225 00:09:20.919 --> 00:09:21.559 like an adult. 226 00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:23.200 You're standing up for yourself. 227 00:09:23.279 --> 00:09:25.919 You didn't do anything wrong, and go see them to 228 00:09:26.039 --> 00:09:29.039 in their offices, go and speak for yourself. And again, 229 00:09:29.080 --> 00:09:31.320 not that that's going to change what happened, because you 230 00:09:31.320 --> 00:09:33.879 can't go back in time, but you could at least 231 00:09:33.879 --> 00:09:36.679 stand up for yourself and make it right for you, 232 00:09:36.679 --> 00:09:40.919 you know. So I would say, don't necessarily exactly how 233 00:09:40.919 --> 00:09:42.679 you said it to me is the same conversation, you 234 00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:44.039 know what I mean? Then maybe at least be like, 235 00:09:44.080 --> 00:09:46.200 I don't even know what was said, and you know 236 00:09:46.279 --> 00:09:48.519 that's the starting point. So I think that you know 237 00:09:48.840 --> 00:09:52.279 you're allowed to know why, especially if it's something to 238 00:09:52.320 --> 00:09:53.840 be like where you're kicked. 239 00:09:53.600 --> 00:09:56.159 Out of an entire ren event. Yeah, yeah, there are 240 00:09:56.159 --> 00:09:57.720 words were I was intimidating. 241 00:09:57.919 --> 00:10:01.120 You're intimidating, TIMI, well, I get that all the time. 242 00:10:02.120 --> 00:10:03.919 But I have a really great at resting bitch face. 243 00:10:03.960 --> 00:10:07.000 I've had my mother a bit telling that. I was like, yeah, 244 00:10:07.120 --> 00:10:10.440 sometimes it's just my look, it's not that I'm just 245 00:10:10.600 --> 00:10:13.399 have a lot not to say exactly. 246 00:10:13.759 --> 00:10:14.000 Wow. 247 00:10:14.840 --> 00:10:16.559 Now that we've got that off our chest, I feel 248 00:10:16.679 --> 00:10:19.639 better and you want to, let's cheer our happy dads. 249 00:10:19.759 --> 00:10:24.440 Thank you, Yes, for sure, welcome to private talk. I 250 00:10:24.480 --> 00:10:27.840 always they can chokes you as say that I'm doctor Texas. 251 00:10:28.039 --> 00:10:29.879 I don't have the HD, but you know, I like, 252 00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:31.639 I know all the good things. I have a lot 253 00:10:31.639 --> 00:10:34.799 of personal experience. So it's a safe space to say 254 00:10:34.840 --> 00:10:37.840 whatever you want and uh yeah, can navigate through that. 255 00:10:38.120 --> 00:10:41.360 We love it. So what do you have coming forward 256 00:10:41.399 --> 00:10:42.279 in twenty twenty four? 257 00:10:42.720 --> 00:10:45.200 There you have anything that maybe some collapse that you're 258 00:10:45.240 --> 00:10:47.720 like looking forward to doing, maybe some companies that you 259 00:10:47.960 --> 00:10:49.639 haven't worked for that you want to do. 260 00:10:49.679 --> 00:10:51.720 You have like a vision board for twenty twenty four. 261 00:10:52.440 --> 00:10:54.080 Trying to make what I'm trying to be better about 262 00:10:54.120 --> 00:10:57.120 that like having lists and like you know, I just 263 00:10:57.240 --> 00:10:59.039 like come up with stuff and then try to do it. 264 00:10:59.080 --> 00:11:00.200 So I'm trying to be more organ. 265 00:11:01.480 --> 00:11:04.120 There's actually quite a few companies I haven't worked for, 266 00:11:04.519 --> 00:11:07.200 so I think that's a big, you know, goal of mine. 267 00:11:07.919 --> 00:11:12.480 I want to start doing a andal, So I'm working 268 00:11:12.519 --> 00:11:16.159 towards that, just kind of like putting it out there 269 00:11:16.200 --> 00:11:19.240 and seeing what happens, trying to grow up you and know. 270 00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:23.480 Okay, so let's let's bath, let's go, let's press rewind, 271 00:11:23.639 --> 00:11:26.039 let's do How did we get to being gena star? 272 00:11:26.159 --> 00:11:29.759 Right here? You said you're from California? You were you doing? 273 00:11:29.799 --> 00:11:33.120 Did you just only do only f before? Did you? 274 00:11:33.200 --> 00:11:36.639 How did you start doing mainstream porn? To get to 275 00:11:36.360 --> 00:11:37.360 you to private talk? 276 00:11:37.440 --> 00:11:40.360 Right now? Wow? Long journey. 277 00:11:41.840 --> 00:11:43.360 I think when I was about twenty six, when I 278 00:11:43.399 --> 00:11:46.879 first moved in Texas, I started trying to figure out 279 00:11:46.879 --> 00:11:50.159 how to escort okay, and I had no one to 280 00:11:50.200 --> 00:11:50.519 talk to. 281 00:11:51.559 --> 00:11:53.879 I had no one to ask. Uh. I had a 282 00:11:53.919 --> 00:11:58.519 few friends that were so why go to Texas to escort? Didn't? Oh, 283 00:11:58.600 --> 00:12:01.200 so what did you go to Texas for? Boy? No, 284 00:12:01.320 --> 00:12:05.320 I was actually trying to get away from my ex husband. Okay, Okay, 285 00:12:05.679 --> 00:12:06.519 I had a divorce. 286 00:12:07.320 --> 00:12:09.840 You just wanted a new life, new situation, so you 287 00:12:09.879 --> 00:12:12.639 go to Texas. I actually wanted to get out of 288 00:12:12.679 --> 00:12:15.799 California since I was born and raised. I wanted to 289 00:12:15.840 --> 00:12:18.200 have my own business, which I did start as soon 290 00:12:18.240 --> 00:12:21.480 as I moved there. Started doing really well within your 291 00:12:21.480 --> 00:12:27.279 business microblading, brows and lashes, spray tands. I did like 292 00:12:27.360 --> 00:12:31.120 data stuff, so I had a salon studio for five 293 00:12:31.200 --> 00:12:33.519 years there that I started when I moved there. So 294 00:12:33.600 --> 00:12:36.919 that's originally like was the whole thing. Now there was 295 00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:40.440 the personal like deep down inside of me, like towards 296 00:12:40.919 --> 00:12:42.840 the half to the end of my relationship. 297 00:12:42.879 --> 00:12:46.600 This is my second marriage. I have two teenagers. You know, 298 00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:51.440 at this point, I'm thinking, like, I don't. 299 00:12:51.200 --> 00:12:54.159 Know what I'm doing here, trying to make marriage work, 300 00:12:54.960 --> 00:12:56.960 keep trying to make the music, you know, work with 301 00:12:56.960 --> 00:12:58.919 people and stuff, and it always seems like I'm just 302 00:12:59.200 --> 00:13:01.200 solicited all its and then due just want to have 303 00:13:01.240 --> 00:13:03.000 sex with me all the time. And so I was 304 00:13:03.039 --> 00:13:05.320 just like, you know what, this doesn't work out, Like 305 00:13:05.360 --> 00:13:09.559 I'm just gonna be like, oh, I want to make money, 306 00:13:09.759 --> 00:13:11.200 so I don't want to be an old lady and 307 00:13:11.240 --> 00:13:14.559 be like, Okay, why didn't you take advantage of this. 308 00:13:14.720 --> 00:13:18.720 So I started trying to date. It was about a 309 00:13:18.759 --> 00:13:19.759 year after. 310 00:13:20.919 --> 00:13:21.919 I left my ex. 311 00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:23.960 I started trying to date, and it was just like 312 00:13:24.080 --> 00:13:27.240 date after date, like regular dating was just the same thing, 313 00:13:27.399 --> 00:13:28.799 different people, you know. 314 00:13:29.320 --> 00:13:31.600 So then I was like, well, it still wasn't filling 315 00:13:31.679 --> 00:13:34.559 the void. No, it was just like this isn't working 316 00:13:34.759 --> 00:13:35.559 okay at all. 317 00:13:35.960 --> 00:13:39.840 So then I was like, okay, well I think I 318 00:13:39.879 --> 00:13:41.720 should start getting paid to do this. So I got 319 00:13:41.759 --> 00:13:45.080 to figure out how to turn these dates into money, okay, 320 00:13:45.879 --> 00:13:49.480 and that's what I started doing. I got on some websites, 321 00:13:49.600 --> 00:13:52.480 I went to Miami, which really opened the. 322 00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:54.080 Door for me. I kept going to Miami for. 323 00:13:54.159 --> 00:13:57.679 Vacation, but it was just like education, yeah, vacation, but 324 00:13:57.720 --> 00:13:59.080 that's what it was started as. 325 00:13:59.159 --> 00:14:01.039 And then then I start seeing like, wow, I could 326 00:14:01.080 --> 00:14:02.519 go on vacation to make money. Okay. 327 00:14:02.679 --> 00:14:05.840 I was very green, like square, So I was like, wow, 328 00:14:05.879 --> 00:14:07.759 I can go on vacation and start making money. 329 00:14:07.799 --> 00:14:09.519 You know, I'm over here. Next thing, you know, I'm 330 00:14:09.559 --> 00:14:12.840 in a yacht. Next thing, you know, get money, you 331 00:14:12.879 --> 00:14:15.399 know whatever. And that was the beginning. So how did 332 00:14:15.480 --> 00:14:17.960 you navigate your ways to like the yachts? 333 00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:19.600 Did you like find a group of growser you just 334 00:14:19.600 --> 00:14:21.519 saw you were on the beach with like your big booty, 335 00:14:21.519 --> 00:14:23.399 and they're just like, hey, come on that, like on 336 00:14:23.440 --> 00:14:26.000 the yacht with Ian, Like is Miami in all the 337 00:14:26.000 --> 00:14:28.320 different ways, but you're saying like different going there and 338 00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:29.759 you see that, and then obviously there's a lot of 339 00:14:29.759 --> 00:14:30.399 people that are. 340 00:14:30.240 --> 00:14:32.679 Like, oh, well, let me give you whatever the fuck 341 00:14:32.720 --> 00:14:34.159 you want. Just hey, you want to get on the bowl. 342 00:14:34.559 --> 00:14:37.320 And I'm like sure, so you're going out there solo? 343 00:14:38.039 --> 00:14:38.200 No. 344 00:14:38.279 --> 00:14:40.840 I had a friend and so we would do like 345 00:14:41.080 --> 00:14:41.879 regular stuff. 346 00:14:41.919 --> 00:14:43.840 We'd go to a dinner, or we would go to 347 00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:47.039 a bar and this girl a girl okay, and so 348 00:14:47.200 --> 00:14:49.879 we would just stand there or sit there, and then 349 00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:51.879 you know, guys would come up and be like, hey, 350 00:14:51.960 --> 00:14:53.240 you want to go on the yacht tomorrow? 351 00:14:53.639 --> 00:14:57.080 What to Mexico. Absolutely, I'll give you this. I'll give 352 00:14:57.080 --> 00:14:57.320 you that. 353 00:14:57.440 --> 00:14:59.279 And I was just like, I need to take advantage 354 00:14:59.279 --> 00:15:03.200 of this. So that's where it all had started. Then 355 00:15:03.320 --> 00:15:05.240 at each step of the way, I started going, Okay, 356 00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:07.320 so if I could do this, I can push it further. 357 00:15:08.639 --> 00:15:11.440 Because there was a while that I was like going 358 00:15:11.480 --> 00:15:13.519 on dates with guys and I just I couldn't do it. 359 00:15:13.600 --> 00:15:15.519 I could not get myself to the point to like 360 00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:19.080 follow through with the intimacy part of it. And then 361 00:15:19.080 --> 00:15:22.360 I do like women, I do. I'm bisexual. Okay, have 362 00:15:22.440 --> 00:15:23.840 you ever had a relationship with a woman? 363 00:15:24.279 --> 00:15:24.399 No? 364 00:15:24.600 --> 00:15:26.600 What I want to Okay, and like I want of 365 00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:28.360 what you're saying is it seems like is it because 366 00:15:28.360 --> 00:15:30.360 of the male counter point and it not doing what 367 00:15:30.440 --> 00:15:32.759 for relationship? And when you have a relationship with a female. 368 00:15:33.159 --> 00:15:34.919 Yeah. I had to come to that realization. 369 00:15:35.159 --> 00:15:38.240 And it's been something that's like slowly I have I 370 00:15:38.399 --> 00:15:40.360 just all I identify. 371 00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:41.240 With men most of the times, like I can have fun. 372 00:15:41.240 --> 00:15:43.720 Adds are sex, yeah, and that's it. 373 00:15:43.799 --> 00:15:48.480 But with women I find very comfortable, emotional, intimate and 374 00:15:48.559 --> 00:15:51.320 it's not really like a huge sex sexual thing. 375 00:15:51.759 --> 00:15:53.919 It's just more of like I get everything that I 376 00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:55.320 need I feel like in a woman. 377 00:15:55.600 --> 00:15:57.279 Yeah, I would love to be a part of like 378 00:15:57.320 --> 00:15:59.759 a threuple or like to have a girlfriend. 379 00:15:59.759 --> 00:16:01.159 And then and we go and fuck eyes. 380 00:16:01.279 --> 00:16:02.480 I was like, I don't think that that bo would 381 00:16:02.519 --> 00:16:05.120 work for you because I feel like I think the 382 00:16:05.519 --> 00:16:08.960 again the dick is like, uh, not that a dildo would. 383 00:16:08.960 --> 00:16:10.759 It's advice, but it's like sometimes you need to like 384 00:16:10.799 --> 00:16:12.840 be fucked by dick that you don't want anything attached 385 00:16:12.840 --> 00:16:15.000 to the dick. Yeah, so it's like transactional as far 386 00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:16.919 as like it's just so I feel like it would. 387 00:16:16.720 --> 00:16:20.799 Get in the way probably, Yeah, I think that that's 388 00:16:20.879 --> 00:16:21.559 it's healthy though. 389 00:16:21.600 --> 00:16:23.919 I think that like trying different things, even like you know, 390 00:16:23.919 --> 00:16:25.840 knowing and not staying in your marriage or whatever, and 391 00:16:25.879 --> 00:16:27.879 being true to yourself and being like this isn't for me, 392 00:16:28.080 --> 00:16:31.120 and being honest about yourself and knowing what you need 393 00:16:31.159 --> 00:16:33.360 and what you want. I think that that's perfectly okay 394 00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:36.480 to do and navigate. And there's no book on it, 395 00:16:36.519 --> 00:16:37.559 there's no like whatever. 396 00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:39.879 So it's like live your life, girl. 397 00:16:40.559 --> 00:16:44.240 So that got you got to you were in Texas, 398 00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:45.559 then you went to Miami. 399 00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:47.879 You saw how that that was working out. So then 400 00:16:47.879 --> 00:16:50.639 how did we get from there to being important? 401 00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:54.679