WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>The greatest thing about podcasting is getting the opportunity to

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<v Speaker 1>share multiple conversations with you. Because life isn't about what's

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<v Speaker 1>in the headlines. It's about what you're living. And that's

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<v Speaker 1>why we developed Aero dot net a r r o

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<v Speaker 1>e dot Net. One of the top features that voice.

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<v Speaker 1>I've spent over the past ten years a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>time with the voices of NBC's the voice. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>you see them, you experience them, but I never want

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<v Speaker 1>you to forget them. That voice only on ero dot net,

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<v Speaker 1>aar r oe dot net. Enjoy your exploration. Hey, what's

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<v Speaker 1>going on? I want to thank you for being a

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<v Speaker 1>part of the conversation. Let's do some pod crashing. Pod

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<v Speaker 1>Crashing episode number four eighty six is with Anna Sinfield

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<v Speaker 1>from the podcast The Girl Friends. Good morning, how are

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<v Speaker 1>you doing.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm doing good. I'm doing good. It's nice to chat

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<v Speaker 2>to you again.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you could, because you bring the story you totally.

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<v Speaker 1>Anytime I see your name anywhere, I know that what

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<v Speaker 1>you're bringing to listeners is quality. And you're also bringing

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<v Speaker 1>the intensity of what it's like to be real with

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<v Speaker 1>your listeners. And I love that that you bring that

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<v Speaker 1>in My God, and what you're doing with trust Me, babe.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, this is so every day.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god. Thank you're saying all the right things.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, the thing is, I'm about ready to do a

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<v Speaker 1>report on iHeartRadio that's about relationships, and it's seeing that

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<v Speaker 1>fifty three percent of all couples are in a burnout

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<v Speaker 1>mode when it comes to getting together. And then here

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<v Speaker 1>comes your podcast with trust Me, babe, and I can

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<v Speaker 1>understand now because look at that damn Derek. What is

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<v Speaker 1>wrong with this dude?

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<v Speaker 2>There is so much wrong with Derek.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I know, Yeah, he just treats everyone so badly.

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<v Speaker 2>I've been trying to figure out what is wrong with

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<v Speaker 2>him the whole time.

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<v Speaker 3>And when I focused a little bit too much on that,

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<v Speaker 3>I felt like I was no longer focusing on the

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<v Speaker 3>real central characters of the story, which are the women,

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<v Speaker 3>the victims. So I just kind of have left in

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<v Speaker 3>a sense of there's something very wrong with Derek, and

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<v Speaker 3>that's about that.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, it brings fear to me to read about or

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<v Speaker 1>even to hear about Derek, because I don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>become Derek. I don't even want to know what his

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<v Speaker 1>secrets are. I don't want to know anything, because I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to be caught in trying to build a

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<v Speaker 1>friendship or a relationship and go, oh my god, this

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<v Speaker 1>is what Derek did. They're going to start investigating me.

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<v Speaker 3>I think that you'd have to work quite hard to

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<v Speaker 3>become like Derek, because he he was a busy man

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<v Speaker 3>kind of figuring out how to be such a such

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<v Speaker 3>a prolific con artist. I mean, it must have been

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<v Speaker 3>a lot to juggle without, you know, selling him as

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<v Speaker 3>some sort of genius.

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<v Speaker 2>It would have been hard work. It would have been

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<v Speaker 2>a full time jump. Well.

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<v Speaker 1>I cringed when with his reaction when Wendy's sister says

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<v Speaker 1>that she's going to reach, you know, research his past

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<v Speaker 1>and stuff, and he was like, nah, I mean, it

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<v Speaker 1>didn't even bother me. It's like he's been through it

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<v Speaker 1>so many other times before people have said stuff to him.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I know.

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<v Speaker 1>But how do you deal with a situation like that,

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<v Speaker 1>when you're on the opposite into that microphone and they're

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<v Speaker 1>sharing that story. How do you even stay strong and

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<v Speaker 1>engage in a story like this because it would be

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<v Speaker 1>so easy to say, WHOA, that's your whole I'm out

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<v Speaker 1>of here. I ow. But but you jump into their

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<v Speaker 1>into their their I don't want to call it misery,

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<v Speaker 1>but yes it is.

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<v Speaker 3>One was interested in sitting down and talking to people

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<v Speaker 3>about the hard stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>I think that's a well I think a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>people like doing that.

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's definitely a specific skill set I have

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<v Speaker 3>that I'm able to kind of sit.

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<v Speaker 2>In the horrible.

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<v Speaker 3>But also while we were there, I mean, these women

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<v Speaker 3>are amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not kind of just been misery. I have actually

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<v Speaker 2>had such.

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<v Speaker 3>A hoot making this series, which isn't always the case

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<v Speaker 3>on the shows that I make. Sometimes they do feel

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<v Speaker 3>kind of just majority dark, and this one didn't you

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<v Speaker 3>know that the women are so feisty and funny and

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<v Speaker 3>vivacious and full of life and their own ambitions, and

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<v Speaker 3>they've managed to achieve so much despite what Derek did

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<v Speaker 3>to them, that they were just a pleasure to meet.

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<v Speaker 2>And they just happened to have.

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<v Speaker 3>This incredible story, which, like I like to hear exciting

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<v Speaker 3>stories or dramatic stories about my friend's lives and anyone

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<v Speaker 3>else's lives. So I was just kind of sat there,

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<v Speaker 3>mouth open, kind of staring into the abyss, thinking, how

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<v Speaker 3>the hell did this happen?

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<v Speaker 2>In real life.

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<v Speaker 1>I was going to ask you about the relationship with him,

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<v Speaker 1>because there's a certain sound and it might be because

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<v Speaker 1>I've been in radio for all these decades, there's a

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<v Speaker 1>certain sound that somebody that you're having a conversation with

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<v Speaker 1>release that you're going, oh, they're being genuine because they

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<v Speaker 1>trust you. I felt that every one of the people

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<v Speaker 1>that you feature on this podcast, the girlfriends Trust Me Babe,

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<v Speaker 1>they had a relationship with you in that they trusted you.

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<v Speaker 3>I well, I hope that's the case, because it's a lot,

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<v Speaker 3>a lot for them to give up, you know, as

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<v Speaker 3>a personal story.

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<v Speaker 2>Not everyone was interviewed by me.

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<v Speaker 3>They were also interviewed by our producer Leona, and she

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<v Speaker 3>is just the warmest, loveliest, most open person ever. And

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<v Speaker 3>so I think between the two of us, yeah, I

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<v Speaker 3>hope that they felt safe. I certainly think that the

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<v Speaker 3>level of intimacy and kind of a sense of like

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<v Speaker 3>those confessional interviews, I think they do kind of imply

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<v Speaker 3>that they felt safe. And afterwards they've been very kind

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<v Speaker 3>about the whole process.

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<v Speaker 1>Were you part of the editing process? Because you got

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<v Speaker 1>so close and so personal with everybody that's featured on

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<v Speaker 1>Trust Me Babe? That it's almost one of those things

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<v Speaker 1>where I'm going, I mean, how did you even edit it?

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<v Speaker 1>How did you know how to put this story together?

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<v Speaker 1>Because you're gonna have to play favoritism or did you?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, I mean, editing a story is always really, really hard,

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<v Speaker 3>because there can be the stuff that you know is

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<v Speaker 3>important perhaps for an interviewee, or it's become important to you,

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<v Speaker 3>and then there's also just the fact that you are

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<v Speaker 3>trying to tell a compelling and propulsive story. And so

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<v Speaker 3>I was involved in fact I think I think my

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<v Speaker 3>producer Leanna won't mind me saying this, but she was

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<v Speaker 3>a bit closer to the story. She'd had more research

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<v Speaker 3>calls with a lot of the women, and she found

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<v Speaker 3>it harder to let go of things because of that

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<v Speaker 3>when you're when you're so close, it's even harder. Whereas

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<v Speaker 3>I really know what the girlfriend sounds like now because

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<v Speaker 3>I've been making it for such a long time, been

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<v Speaker 3>hosting it for such a long time, that it's easier

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<v Speaker 3>for me to come in and just go no, like this,

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<v Speaker 3>like that, like this, And then after your review and

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<v Speaker 3>you make sure you've not done anyone a disservice, and

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<v Speaker 3>obviously they're fact checked and legaled and you make sure

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<v Speaker 3>you're telling the truth. But yeah, it's all part of

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<v Speaker 3>being in a team. I think being in a team

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<v Speaker 3>is so important.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh please do not move. There is more with Anna

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<v Speaker 1>coming up next. The name of the podcast the Girlfriends.

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<v Speaker 1>Trust me, babe, We are back with Anna. Well, this

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<v Speaker 1>one comes with a big, big, big rule that's right

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<v Speaker 1>there at the beginning. If you think you are a

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<v Speaker 1>scuba diver and you're not playing by the rules of

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<v Speaker 1>all scuba divers, you are a con artist. I'm telling you.

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<v Speaker 1>I felt it in the very beginning when you were

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<v Speaker 1>talking about him getting the bins and all that kind

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<v Speaker 1>of stuff. I'm going, holy crap. That's one of the

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<v Speaker 1>very first rules that we learn when we go scuba

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<v Speaker 1>diving is how not to get the bins.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and so this guy is pretending to be like

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<v Speaker 3>a super experienced scuba diver and then he gets the bends. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't believe it. I don't believe it one bit.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know what, as a listener though, it drew

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<v Speaker 1>me closer. So kudos to you guys, because it's almost

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<v Speaker 1>like you said, watch this, they'll stay longer. They ain't

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<v Speaker 1>hitting any other podcasts when they're into this one because

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<v Speaker 1>we're going to make it really dramatic.

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<v Speaker 2>Good aiming for drama, and I really.

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<v Speaker 1>Do what I would love to see sometime with you,

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<v Speaker 1>ana Is. I would love for you to come to

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<v Speaker 1>Carolina to interview what goes on here, because it seems

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<v Speaker 1>like the women of Carolina marry these guys or date

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<v Speaker 1>these guys and kill them. I mean it's like two

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<v Speaker 1>or three people at a time, and they use eye drops,

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<v Speaker 1>they use all these different things. I'm going, my god,

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<v Speaker 1>it's not just the guys, the girls are doing it too.

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<v Speaker 2>What the hell. I've never heard this say.

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<v Speaker 1>My god, it's amazing how many women are in prison

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<v Speaker 1>here in the Carolina. It's because well, I put eye

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<v Speaker 1>drops in his drinks. I'm sorry, Okay, you're forgiven.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my goodness. I mean, I'm I'm all for telling

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<v Speaker 2>telling that story for sure. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, and that's what I love about what you do

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<v Speaker 1>is because you generate enough energy inside our imaginations where

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<v Speaker 1>we look at our own reality and see it happening.

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<v Speaker 1>Whereas before it was like the blind Gorilla. We were

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<v Speaker 1>just walking through life. We didn't see anything, but we

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<v Speaker 1>hear this podcast. The girlfriends trust me, babe, and it's like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh my god, this is going on around me.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, I would always stress that these are really

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<v Speaker 3>exceptional stories.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why they're so hard to find.

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<v Speaker 3>But they do all kind of plug into a bigger

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<v Speaker 3>universal truth. I mean, obviously, I'm always talking about the

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<v Speaker 3>experiences of women. I'm centering women and marginalized people in

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<v Speaker 3>the show. That's the whole beat. And so there are

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<v Speaker 3>these bigger truths about domestic violence, gendered violence, stuff like

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<v Speaker 3>that that are happening all around us. I just happen

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<v Speaker 3>to tell the most dramatic version of that story.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, you do something in here with rule number two

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<v Speaker 1>that everybody should know. In fact, my martial arts instructor

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<v Speaker 1>even taught me this in the very early days, early

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<v Speaker 1>stages of martial arts. Girls will pack up. In other words,

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<v Speaker 1>they are going to get together and whatever they're going

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<v Speaker 1>to do to make sure they get the right information

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<v Speaker 1>right now. Oh my god, I love the way that

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<v Speaker 1>you brought that forward. They will gather together in all

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<v Speaker 1>that talking.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, like people talk about the male loneliness epidemic

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<v Speaker 3>at the moment, and one of the reasons that you

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<v Speaker 3>don't hear about that when it comes to women is

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<v Speaker 3>because they're so good at looking out for their friends.

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<v Speaker 2>If one of your friends is screwed over by a

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<v Speaker 2>guy like Derek.

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<v Speaker 3>You bet her girlfriends are coming around and they're going

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<v Speaker 3>to make a plan and they're going to support each other.

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<v Speaker 3>And guys should take a you know, take some hints

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<v Speaker 3>from that and some tips and learn how to be

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<v Speaker 3>there for their friends.

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<v Speaker 1>What's really interesting about this is the fact that you

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<v Speaker 1>really do paint Derek as this person who you know,

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<v Speaker 1>tries to be all these different rules. I've always believed

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<v Speaker 1>that the con artists were the truck drivers, are the

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<v Speaker 1>people that traveled on highways and things. No, No, you're

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<v Speaker 1>proving to us that it could be everyday average Jimmy Johnson.

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<v Speaker 1>And you're going, what the what I never even even

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<v Speaker 1>thought about that.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, exactly. I mean it's these women were.

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<v Speaker 2>Not dumb, they were not naive.

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's really easy to look at this story

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<v Speaker 3>and think, oh, that would never happen to me. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>but it would because it just came across like a

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<v Speaker 3>normal guy.

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<v Speaker 1>See, and that just scared I'm a guy, and that

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<v Speaker 1>scares the crap out of me. I mean, they see

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<v Speaker 1>how you're affecting people. It's not just the guy, even

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<v Speaker 1>though it's about a guy, but we still we still

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<v Speaker 1>sit here and think, oh my god, this is really

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<v Speaker 1>going on around us. This isn't a binge watch.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, well, I mean men can be victims of these

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<v Speaker 3>sort of con artists too. Yep. It's an easy way

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<v Speaker 3>in to, you know, manipulate someone who wants to be loved.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a dirty, easy way in, but it is. But

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<v Speaker 3>you know, a heterosexual man can be conned by another

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<v Speaker 3>heterosexual man through friendship, through business, through anything, you know, and.

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<v Speaker 1>It doesn't have to deal with sex at all. I

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<v Speaker 1>mean that's one of the things that you talk about

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<v Speaker 1>this when it comes to you know, what's happening in

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<v Speaker 1>this story is that it happens in all walks of life.

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<v Speaker 1>All people just be more aware.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, absolutely, be aware.

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<v Speaker 3>But also, and you know, and what I mean by

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<v Speaker 3>that is, don't be naive to let strangers into your

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<v Speaker 3>life in a kind of intimate way without kind of

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<v Speaker 3>due diligence, and don't pass over your finances and stuff

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<v Speaker 3>like that.

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<v Speaker 2>But I think also it's really.

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<v Speaker 3>Important The series ends with a sort of message about

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<v Speaker 3>not losing faith in love and not becoming too guarded.

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<v Speaker 3>You can't go through your entire life just expecting the

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<v Speaker 3>worst to happen, because these stories are rare. But it's

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<v Speaker 3>about kind of making sure you build up your communities

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<v Speaker 3>so that if anything bad were to happen in any

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<v Speaker 3>part of your life, you have people around you to

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<v Speaker 3>fall back on.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's what these women had. They had each other.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to know how many of the older generation

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<v Speaker 1>before the app came into play in our smartphones, are

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<v Speaker 1>going to reach out to you and say, Anna, we

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<v Speaker 1>got to talk, because this is really going to rock

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of worlds because this is not just something

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<v Speaker 1>that happened in the digital age. This has been going

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<v Speaker 1>on in fact. And the reason why I say that,

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<v Speaker 1>I think my own damn dad was a con artist

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<v Speaker 1>because this man had three women with children and I'm going,

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<v Speaker 1>how the hell did this even happen because he's a corner.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, everybody's gone now, so I can't get

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<v Speaker 1>any answers. I'm going to go to my own grave

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<v Speaker 1>scene my dad was a con artist.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Well, I mean it's a shame that everybody's gone,

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<v Speaker 3>because what a kind of personal story to dig into.

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<v Speaker 3>But Yeah, you're right. This has been going on a

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<v Speaker 3>really long time. I mean people have been conning people

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<v Speaker 3>since since the dawn of time. But even in this

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<v Speaker 3>specific instance in Trust Me Babe, the first known case

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<v Speaker 3>we have of Derek conning someone is nineteen ninety four

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<v Speaker 3>when he was a student at college, and so that's

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<v Speaker 3>a really early start.

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<v Speaker 2>That was before dating apps.

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<v Speaker 3>And so I think how many people have not come

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<v Speaker 3>forward that are between those stretches. That's something I'd be

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<v Speaker 3>really interested to hear from, like anyone who has stories

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<v Speaker 3>that haven't been reported yet, because I'm sure there's many.

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<v Speaker 1>And how many people go to a hockey game, like

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<v Speaker 1>Lisa expecting to watch the game and oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>there's a new dude. Oh my god, he's a pretty

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<v Speaker 1>cool guy. Yeah, I'm gonna go to a game now

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<v Speaker 1>thinking you're being nice to me for what reason today?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, you know you've always got to watch out for

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<v Speaker 3>people on the other side at these games, right, So

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<v Speaker 3>keep your wits about you.

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<v Speaker 1>You'd be brilliant, Anna. And you know my door is

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<v Speaker 1>always open. Please come back and have a great time.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, thank you so much. It was lovely to chat