WEBVTT 1 00:00:07.799 --> 00:00:12.640 On January twenty first, twoenty twenty three, a quiet hospital 2 00:00:12.720 --> 00:00:16.519 room in advent Health, Daytona Beach became the center of 3 00:00:16.559 --> 00:00:22.120 a heartbreaking and deeply complex tragedy. Ellen Gilland, a seventy 4 00:00:22.120 --> 00:00:24.920 six year old woman from Florida, had just shot and 5 00:00:25.039 --> 00:00:28.839 killed her husband, Jerry Gilland, a man she had loved 6 00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:32.280 for over half a century. The couple had made a 7 00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:35.359 suicide pact after his health took a severe turn for 8 00:00:35.399 --> 00:00:39.119 the worse, But when the moment came, Ellen managed to 9 00:00:39.200 --> 00:00:43.240 end her loving husband's misery, but couldn't follow through with 10 00:00:43.399 --> 00:00:48.159 taking her own life. Instead, she found herself in a 11 00:00:48.200 --> 00:00:52.719 four hour standoff with police, holding a gun and overcome 12 00:00:53.359 --> 00:00:58.520 with grief and fear. This is the heartbreaking story of 13 00:00:58.600 --> 00:01:00.240 Ellen and Jerry Gilland. 14 00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:05.359 And my name's Ben, I'm Nicole, and you're listening to Wicked. 15 00:01:05.040 --> 00:01:16.280 And Grim, a true crime podcasting. The following material Audience listener, 16 00:01:35.519 --> 00:01:36.200 Happy Spring. 17 00:01:36.840 --> 00:01:39.719 Oh yeah, yesterday right was the first official day. 18 00:01:39.640 --> 00:01:41.040 The first day of spring. 19 00:01:41.359 --> 00:01:43.239 And and it snowed here? 20 00:01:43.560 --> 00:01:46.680 It did it snowed? I mean that's Canada for you. 21 00:01:47.000 --> 00:01:49.120 Wamp wamp got the weather up here. 22 00:01:49.200 --> 00:01:51.319 But at least we know there's an end, an end 23 00:01:51.359 --> 00:01:51.760 in sight. 24 00:01:52.239 --> 00:01:54.680 Yeah, we get a short window of summer up here. 25 00:01:54.799 --> 00:01:58.319 But yeah, and then as soon as I mean September 26 00:01:58.400 --> 00:02:00.239 rolls around, then it gets cold again and we're right 27 00:02:00.280 --> 00:02:01.840 back to it. At least for us. I don't know 28 00:02:02.040 --> 00:02:02.280 any know. 29 00:02:02.280 --> 00:02:04.879 Where you guys live, I would say more so October 30 00:02:04.920 --> 00:02:06.680 September is usually pretty nice up here. 31 00:02:06.840 --> 00:02:08.960 Well, it does get nice, but you start getting frost 32 00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:11.000 in the evenings and stuff, you know, leave. 33 00:02:10.879 --> 00:02:11.960 Your chair changing. 34 00:02:12.280 --> 00:02:17.960 So yeah, yeah, enjoy it while it lasts, because winter 35 00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:19.400 will be right back on your doorsteps. 36 00:02:19.520 --> 00:02:23.080 Yesh, it hasn't even ended, Ben, you're already anticipating next window. 37 00:02:23.280 --> 00:02:26.159 Winter has ended because it's the spring. Now. I'm just saying, 38 00:02:26.360 --> 00:02:28.879 just warning you, just you know, enjoy it. 39 00:02:29.080 --> 00:02:31.560 I don't know. I always think it's funny springs here, 40 00:02:31.599 --> 00:02:34.560 but like where we live, I don't know, it doesn't 41 00:02:34.599 --> 00:02:39.560 really correspond. I always feel like springs a little bit later. Officially. 42 00:02:39.680 --> 00:02:41.919 Well, you see all those videos of like spring break 43 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:44.240 parties on like beaches and stuff, and people are in 44 00:02:44.280 --> 00:02:47.520 bikinis and doing shots, and we're like still putting on 45 00:02:47.560 --> 00:02:49.719 our jackets and winter boots, trudging through snow. 46 00:02:49.800 --> 00:02:52.120 No we're not, though, we put our winter jackets away 47 00:02:52.120 --> 00:02:53.960 a long time ago, which I think was a mistake. 48 00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:57.479 I saw someone wearing shorts just yesterday or the day 49 00:02:57.520 --> 00:02:58.840 before at the grocery store. 50 00:02:58.919 --> 00:03:00.560 Yeah, but it's still cold out there. 51 00:03:00.639 --> 00:03:03.159 We still have jackets, and we just like freeze our 52 00:03:03.199 --> 00:03:05.360 butts off for a little bit because we're done with this. 53 00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:08.479 I was wearing a wool cloak walking the dogs this morning. 54 00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:10.199 That's because you like your wool cloak. 55 00:03:10.319 --> 00:03:12.800 I do like my wool cloak. I have a if 56 00:03:12.800 --> 00:03:15.560 you know your cloaks, I have a ruwana cloak and 57 00:03:15.639 --> 00:03:16.080 I love it. 58 00:03:16.879 --> 00:03:19.479 Yeah, and he walks around in our yard like that. 59 00:03:19.919 --> 00:03:20.599 Fuck yeah I do. 60 00:03:20.800 --> 00:03:21.840 Yeah, it's kind of awesome. 61 00:03:21.919 --> 00:03:24.560 I feel like I'm off heading to you know, the 62 00:03:24.599 --> 00:03:26.840 Lonely Mountain or something like that from the Shy or 63 00:03:26.879 --> 00:03:27.639 maybe I don't know. 64 00:03:28.360 --> 00:03:30.360 Gotta love it with your too husky say. 65 00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:33.199 Yeah. Anyways, I think we should get into this story 66 00:03:33.280 --> 00:03:36.360 right away. This is quite the tail and happened quite 67 00:03:36.400 --> 00:03:40.039 recently in fact, and is just recently within the past 68 00:03:40.360 --> 00:03:42.360 few months being resolved. 69 00:03:42.840 --> 00:03:45.599 Okay, well, yeah, you did tell me a little bit 70 00:03:45.639 --> 00:03:48.560 about it, but really nothing more than the intro. Even 71 00:03:48.599 --> 00:03:50.280 the intro had a bit more than I knew, and 72 00:03:50.319 --> 00:03:53.840 it's this is gonna, I feel, be a heartbreaking one. 73 00:03:54.080 --> 00:03:56.400 This is very much a heartbreaking one. And it's got 74 00:03:56.400 --> 00:03:58.759 a little bit of controversy around it as well, because 75 00:03:58.759 --> 00:04:01.439 there's like, well, what do you do in a situation 76 00:04:01.599 --> 00:04:03.680 like that if you are put in that situation? And 77 00:04:03.800 --> 00:04:06.319 what do you do if you are the authorities in 78 00:04:06.319 --> 00:04:09.680 that situation? And well, of course we have our answers 79 00:04:09.680 --> 00:04:11.599 and what actually happened, but what you think might be 80 00:04:11.639 --> 00:04:14.520 completely different. So it is a little bit controversial. There's 81 00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:16.199 people on both sides of the coins and what they 82 00:04:16.240 --> 00:04:19.639 think should and should not have happened. But we'll go 83 00:04:19.720 --> 00:04:21.240 through this and we'll see where we're at. 84 00:04:21.399 --> 00:04:22.519 Okay, let's hear it. 85 00:04:23.360 --> 00:04:26.040 So this story hit headlines and it may may have 86 00:04:26.079 --> 00:04:30.279 seemed like a shocking act of violence, but Ellen, to her, 87 00:04:30.720 --> 00:04:33.079 it was something else entirely. It was a promise, a 88 00:04:33.160 --> 00:04:36.319 heartbreaking last act of love for the men that she 89 00:04:36.399 --> 00:04:39.839 spent fifty three years with, fifty three years by his 90 00:04:39.959 --> 00:04:43.720 side and Jerry, I mean, he was terminally ill, suffering 91 00:04:43.759 --> 00:04:47.800 from severe health complications and had begged her to help 92 00:04:47.879 --> 00:04:51.160 him end his life. In Ellen's eyes, she was granting 93 00:04:51.240 --> 00:04:56.160 him his last and final wish gosh. Now, Ellen's story 94 00:04:56.240 --> 00:04:59.759 is one of love, loss and desperation. She and Jerry 95 00:04:59.759 --> 00:05:03.720 build life together from their teenage years, through marriage, health struggles, 96 00:05:03.759 --> 00:05:07.040 and the challenges of aging. Their journey led to a 97 00:05:07.120 --> 00:05:11.639 moment neither of them had ever imagined. Now, Ellen Gillen's 98 00:05:11.720 --> 00:05:16.399 life started far from the headlines in the courtrooms. Now, 99 00:05:16.439 --> 00:05:18.519 one thing, before I really get into this, I want 100 00:05:18.560 --> 00:05:20.959 to tell you that most of the research actually came 101 00:05:21.199 --> 00:05:25.120 from Ellen herself. So there is a video on YouTube 102 00:05:25.160 --> 00:05:28.720 where she stands and addresses the courtroom and she tells 103 00:05:28.759 --> 00:05:30.680 a bit of her story, who she is and how 104 00:05:30.720 --> 00:05:33.600 she got to the situation she found herself in. So 105 00:05:33.759 --> 00:05:38.680 what I'm telling you is my interpretation coming directly from her. 106 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:41.560 So I listened to her talk, and this is what 107 00:05:41.600 --> 00:05:44.800 we have, okay. So Ellen was born in Iowa in 108 00:05:44.879 --> 00:05:47.920 nineteen forty six, the daughter of you know, a typical 109 00:05:48.040 --> 00:05:51.079 middle class American family. When she was just three years 110 00:05:51.079 --> 00:05:53.439 old in nineteen forty nine, her parents packed up their 111 00:05:53.480 --> 00:05:57.120 lives and moved to Ormond Beach, Florida, looking for new opportunities. 112 00:05:57.920 --> 00:06:00.600 Her father was a building contractor, working hard to construct 113 00:06:00.600 --> 00:06:03.480 homes in a growing Florida town, while her mother was 114 00:06:03.480 --> 00:06:07.040 a teacher and elementary school principal, instilling the value of 115 00:06:07.439 --> 00:06:12.680 education in their children. Now Ellen grew up and in 116 00:06:12.800 --> 00:06:15.879 nineteen fifty four, her youngest sister would be born, completing 117 00:06:15.920 --> 00:06:18.519 the family. In nineteen fifty six, when Ellen was ten 118 00:06:18.600 --> 00:06:21.439 years old, the family relocated once again, this time to 119 00:06:21.480 --> 00:06:23.920 winter Park, Florida, where she would spend the rest of 120 00:06:23.920 --> 00:06:29.160 her childhood. And there they met. Ellen and Jerry met 121 00:06:29.199 --> 00:06:31.920 as young teenagers in the eighth grade, attending middle school 122 00:06:32.160 --> 00:06:35.519 in winter Park, Florida. Together over the years, they developed 123 00:06:35.519 --> 00:06:39.920 a close friendship, sharing classes, conversations, and everyday school life together. 124 00:06:40.720 --> 00:06:43.519 Now throughout middle and high school, they remained good friends, 125 00:06:43.600 --> 00:06:48.040 but nothing more. Life took them in different directions after graduation, 126 00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:52.720 and eventually, like many, they just simply lost touch. Now 127 00:06:52.800 --> 00:06:56.639 Ellen attended Winter Park public schools at the time and 128 00:06:56.680 --> 00:06:59.360 excelled all through her studies, and later she enrolled in 129 00:06:59.639 --> 00:07:03.000 Rolling College, a private liberal arts school. She had a 130 00:07:03.000 --> 00:07:05.839 creative side, and after finishing at Roland, she pursued her 131 00:07:05.959 --> 00:07:10.319 artistic interests at Wringling School of Art in Sarasota, Florida, 132 00:07:10.560 --> 00:07:14.800 where she spent two years studying Ellen's early years were 133 00:07:14.839 --> 00:07:17.920 shaped by a strong work ethic and a love for learning, 134 00:07:18.360 --> 00:07:21.680 values that would stay with her all throughout her life. 135 00:07:21.800 --> 00:07:25.519 In nineteen sixty four, during the Christmas season, Ellen and 136 00:07:25.639 --> 00:07:28.600 Jerry just so happened to bump in each other by 137 00:07:28.600 --> 00:07:31.920 happenstance at winter Park Mall. Now, they were both in 138 00:07:31.959 --> 00:07:35.480 their late teens, and something about that moment changed things. 139 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:39.639 They started dating a little bit, you know, casually at first, 140 00:07:40.120 --> 00:07:42.040 then a little bit more seriously as time went on. 141 00:07:42.759 --> 00:07:45.959 The relationship had a slow and steady foundation built on 142 00:07:46.079 --> 00:07:48.680 years of friendship from the past and you know, deep understanding. 143 00:07:49.079 --> 00:07:53.680 But life had other plans. In nineteen sixty four, Jerry 144 00:07:53.759 --> 00:07:57.480 was sent to Vietnam, serving as a clerk typist in 145 00:07:57.600 --> 00:08:01.680 a Joint Air Force and Army commander office. Now, while 146 00:08:01.759 --> 00:08:04.279 he wasn't in direct combat, his role was important. He 147 00:08:04.319 --> 00:08:07.600 handed paperwork from high ranking officials and had access to 148 00:08:08.040 --> 00:08:12.399 key personnel. This connection would prove life saving when Ellen's 149 00:08:12.399 --> 00:08:15.759 brother Jean, who was also in Vietnam, was in danger 150 00:08:15.800 --> 00:08:19.079 of being left behind. See Jane was a ranger who 151 00:08:19.079 --> 00:08:21.680 had been wounded and was due to rotate back to 152 00:08:21.720 --> 00:08:25.519 the USA, but due to a paperwork error, he was overlooked, 153 00:08:25.800 --> 00:08:28.639 and he wrote home, telling his family that he might 154 00:08:28.680 --> 00:08:29.920 not make it out alive. 155 00:08:30.480 --> 00:08:31.600 Oh my goodness. 156 00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:36.039 When Ellen's mother heard this, she immediately reached out to 157 00:08:36.080 --> 00:08:39.240 her daughter, desperate for help, and Ellen in turn told Jerry, 158 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:41.840 who used his position to track down Jane's orders and 159 00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:46.080 personally walked them through the system. Because of Jerry's actions, 160 00:08:46.200 --> 00:08:48.200 Jane was able to return home safely. 161 00:08:48.799 --> 00:08:50.159 Okay, that's awesome. 162 00:08:50.440 --> 00:08:53.360 After Jerry's service in Vietnam, the two knew they didn't 163 00:08:53.399 --> 00:08:55.080 want to spend any more time apart. 164 00:08:55.480 --> 00:08:56.840 I know, I was like, that will do it? 165 00:08:56.919 --> 00:08:59.960 Eh. In nineteen sixty nine, they got married and started 166 00:09:00.120 --> 00:09:05.000 their life together. Officially, this is honestly something that should 167 00:09:05.039 --> 00:09:07.960 be fucking turned into a movie. Their life seems like 168 00:09:08.360 --> 00:09:10.480 a romance novel. And I'm not talking like one of 169 00:09:10.480 --> 00:09:12.440 those hot and steamy ones. I'm talking like, just like 170 00:09:12.480 --> 00:09:15.440 a beautiful story for the thing, you know what I mean? 171 00:09:15.559 --> 00:09:18.720 That does like I mean he went about saving her 172 00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:23.279 brother right, and then now they're like, okay, we're in. 173 00:09:23.279 --> 00:09:25.840 Well and not only that, how many Hallmark movies can 174 00:09:25.879 --> 00:09:27.720 you think of and name off the top of your head. 175 00:09:27.720 --> 00:09:30.720 You probably don't even have enough fingers that have people 176 00:09:30.759 --> 00:09:32.879 who knew each other in high school kind of liked 177 00:09:32.879 --> 00:09:34.840 each other a little bit and then they bump into 178 00:09:34.919 --> 00:09:35.840 each other in a mall. 179 00:09:37.759 --> 00:09:40.000 Yeah, well wasn't it at Christmas too? 180 00:09:40.559 --> 00:09:40.799 Yeah? 181 00:09:40.960 --> 00:09:42.519 Yeah, so there you go, like. 182 00:09:42.600 --> 00:09:45.879 Just saying this should like Hallmark get on this. 183 00:09:46.600 --> 00:09:49.639 I also have to just point out to I don't know, 184 00:09:49.679 --> 00:09:51.960 you said, you were talking about how they the family's 185 00:09:52.039 --> 00:09:54.840 relocated right and like a few times, and how they 186 00:09:55.320 --> 00:09:58.240 start their life and stuff restart their life. I kind 187 00:09:58.240 --> 00:09:59.919 of love that. I don't feel like that is something 188 00:10:00.360 --> 00:10:02.159 people really do so much anymore. 189 00:10:02.480 --> 00:10:05.039 No, I don't think so. I think many people will 190 00:10:05.080 --> 00:10:09.000 relocate prior to ever starting their life at all, prior 191 00:10:09.039 --> 00:10:10.720 to having roots set then. 192 00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:13.039 But I think it's just this world. It's hard to 193 00:10:13.120 --> 00:10:15.720 do that, like to get a mortgage and stuff in 194 00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:19.559 a different city per se, It's not always like the easiest. 195 00:10:19.120 --> 00:10:21.720 Right, So yeah, ain't that the truth? You have to 196 00:10:21.799 --> 00:10:25.240 prove you know, job opportunities and income prior to getting 197 00:10:25.240 --> 00:10:26.480 a more hit new towns. 198 00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:29.240 You can't really just like start over as easy and 199 00:10:29.279 --> 00:10:30.240 maybe as back then. 200 00:10:30.440 --> 00:10:33.320 So yeah, now, over the next fifty three years, they 201 00:10:33.320 --> 00:10:36.279 built this you know, full love, full life of love. 202 00:10:37.720 --> 00:10:40.600 Jerry was known for his kindness, as humor, and generosity, 203 00:10:40.600 --> 00:10:42.919 and Ellen saw him as her rock throughout all of 204 00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:46.000 life's ups and downs. Now Jerry had a position for 205 00:10:46.519 --> 00:10:49.639 or sorry, a passion for cooking and woodworking, often making 206 00:10:49.679 --> 00:10:53.200 beautiful handmade boxes and even crafting port swings you know, 207 00:10:53.240 --> 00:10:56.840 one to sit outside their home. Though they never had children, 208 00:10:56.919 --> 00:11:00.879 they built a life centered around each other. Ellen's career 209 00:11:00.919 --> 00:11:04.679 path was anything but ordinary. She didn't follow a single path, 210 00:11:04.720 --> 00:11:08.759 but instead carved out of life filled with creativity and 211 00:11:08.840 --> 00:11:13.240 independence and also adaptability. Over the years, she worked in 212 00:11:13.399 --> 00:11:18.039 professional photography labs, managed managed a Walden book's retail store, 213 00:11:18.240 --> 00:11:22.279 and even ran her own Foliage nursery. Whether it was arts, 214 00:11:22.320 --> 00:11:24.960 books or plants. Allen seemed to have a knack for 215 00:11:25.039 --> 00:11:29.120 diving into new ventures and making them work no matter what. Meanwhile, 216 00:11:29.200 --> 00:11:32.919 Jerry took a different route. He was a skilled tradesman 217 00:11:33.200 --> 00:11:36.639 working in construction for a company that specialized in installing 218 00:11:36.759 --> 00:11:41.559 high purity stainless steel piping for computer and pharmaceutical industries. 219 00:11:42.320 --> 00:11:45.279 His work took him all over the country, and Ellen 220 00:11:45.360 --> 00:11:48.759 often traveled with him, sharing in the experience going on 221 00:11:48.759 --> 00:11:51.720 the road. But as they got older, they began thinking 222 00:11:51.720 --> 00:11:57.840 about their future, particularly retirement. With Jerry's job requiring constant travel, 223 00:11:57.919 --> 00:12:01.360 Ellen realized she needed a more stable career with some 224 00:12:01.440 --> 00:12:04.879 more benefits. She had always been interested in education, and 225 00:12:04.960 --> 00:12:07.799 since she'd already had a degree, she decided to return 226 00:12:07.840 --> 00:12:11.759 to school in her fifties to specialize in Exceptional Students 227 00:12:11.919 --> 00:12:17.399 Education or ESE, which that in itself is pretty awesome 228 00:12:17.720 --> 00:12:19.679 going back to school in your fifties. 229 00:12:20.080 --> 00:12:22.639 I honestly love this couple so far. I'm just like 230 00:12:22.679 --> 00:12:23.679 so obsessed with them. 231 00:12:24.799 --> 00:12:29.039 Fair enough so balancing work in night classes, Ellen earned 232 00:12:29.039 --> 00:12:34.360 her master's degree in special education from Nova South Southeastern University. 233 00:12:34.759 --> 00:12:37.000 In nineteen ninety seven, she landed a job as an 234 00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:40.759 ees teacher at Mount Dora Middle School. She later also 235 00:12:40.759 --> 00:12:43.840 taught at Mount Dora High School and dedicated over fifteen 236 00:12:43.919 --> 00:12:47.960 years helping students with learning and behavioral disabilities before retiring 237 00:12:48.039 --> 00:12:52.600 finally in twenty thirteen. By the time they settled into 238 00:12:52.639 --> 00:12:56.600 their later years, Ellen and Jerry had built a full 239 00:12:56.720 --> 00:13:00.240 and busy life. They had traveled, they'd worked hard, hard, 240 00:13:00.600 --> 00:13:03.320 and planned for a stable future with each other by 241 00:13:03.399 --> 00:13:07.919 their side. But what they couldn't have planned for was 242 00:13:07.919 --> 00:13:11.320 a health crisis that would turn their world upside down. 243 00:13:13.120 --> 00:13:15.679 As much as Ellen and Jerry had built a life 244 00:13:15.679 --> 00:13:19.279 of love and stability, time brought challenges that neither could 245 00:13:19.279 --> 00:13:23.840 have ever foreseen. Health issues, family losses, and natural disasters 246 00:13:23.879 --> 00:13:26.919 piled up, making their life later years more difficult than 247 00:13:26.960 --> 00:13:30.600 they had ever expected. Ellen had faced serious health struggles 248 00:13:30.600 --> 00:13:32.559 from a young age. In fact, she was even diagnosed 249 00:13:32.559 --> 00:13:35.559 with cancer earlier in her life, forcing her to undergo 250 00:13:35.639 --> 00:13:38.480 a hysterectomy, which is the reason why they were never 251 00:13:38.519 --> 00:13:42.080 able to have children. Later in life, she learned that 252 00:13:42.120 --> 00:13:45.080 she carried the brack of one gene, or the BRCA 253 00:13:45.240 --> 00:13:48.559 one gene. It's a mutation which puts her at very 254 00:13:48.639 --> 00:13:52.399 high risk for breast and ovarian cancer. That risk became 255 00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:57.120 devastatingly real when her younger sister died from ovarian cancer, 256 00:13:57.679 --> 00:14:00.279 and years later her older sister also lost the battle 257 00:14:00.320 --> 00:14:01.039 with cancer too. 258 00:14:01.320 --> 00:14:03.200 Oh my gosh. 259 00:14:03.320 --> 00:14:07.200 In addition to cancer, Ellen suffered from osteoporosis, a condition 260 00:14:07.360 --> 00:14:10.600 she inherited from her father and grandmother. It made her 261 00:14:10.600 --> 00:14:15.200 bones brittle and fragile, leading to frequent fractures throughout her life. 262 00:14:15.240 --> 00:14:17.399 Over the years, she had been hospitalized more than a 263 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:22.440 dozen times. For broken bones. Her medical history included a 264 00:14:22.480 --> 00:14:27.200 replaced left hip, replaced right knee, metal rods and both femurs, 265 00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:30.480 a pin in her right hip, bone to bone pain 266 00:14:30.559 --> 00:14:33.519 in her left knee, you name it. She had lots 267 00:14:33.559 --> 00:14:33.960 going on. 268 00:14:34.120 --> 00:14:36.039 Yeah, that is a lot, But. 269 00:14:36.039 --> 00:14:40.480 That wasn't all. Ellen also battled type two diabetes. She 270 00:14:40.519 --> 00:14:44.519 also battled COPD sleep apnea. I don't know if I 271 00:14:44.519 --> 00:14:46.200 can pronounce this one, but you're going to do my best. 272 00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:51.159 Sojourns syndrome, and high cholesterol. Daily life became a struggle, 273 00:14:51.159 --> 00:14:53.639 and she often relied on a walker to get around. 274 00:14:54.759 --> 00:14:57.440 As if her own health challenges weren't enough, loss continued 275 00:14:57.480 --> 00:15:00.320 to follow her. Her brother Jean, who Jerry had helped 276 00:15:00.320 --> 00:15:04.080 save in Vietnam, later died from complications related to agent 277 00:15:04.200 --> 00:15:08.600 orange exposure. By the time twenty twenty two arrived, Ellen 278 00:15:08.679 --> 00:15:10.960 had lost both her sisters and her brother. 279 00:15:11.080 --> 00:15:13.679 Yeah, I was just like, that's all her siblings, isn't it. 280 00:15:13.799 --> 00:15:17.399 Yes. Her only remaining close family member was her niece, 281 00:15:17.759 --> 00:15:23.279 and by then Jerry was all she had left oh Man. Then, 282 00:15:23.320 --> 00:15:28.399 in late twenty twenty two, disaster struck once again. A 283 00:15:28.480 --> 00:15:32.559 hurricane flooded their home, damaging or destroying many of their belongings. 284 00:15:32.600 --> 00:15:39.480 They lost furniture, legal documents, financial documents, Ellen's personal art portfolios. 285 00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:45.879 You know, powered what's the word I'm looking for machinery. 286 00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:49.120 Maybe machinery isn't the word, but like powered wheelchairs and stuff, 287 00:15:49.120 --> 00:15:52.080 you know, things to make their life. I'm trying to think. 288 00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:54.320 Of medical assistance, yes. 289 00:15:54.240 --> 00:15:59.039 Medical assisting stuff. I can't think of the word. Why 290 00:15:59.080 --> 00:16:01.759 can't I think of the word. You guys know what 291 00:16:01.759 --> 00:16:04.679 we're talking about, Like powered wheelchairs, you know, motorize things 292 00:16:04.759 --> 00:16:08.919 or whatever for help their health. They're aging exactly now. 293 00:16:08.960 --> 00:16:12.480 The stress from the hurricane left Ellen deep deeply anxious, 294 00:16:12.480 --> 00:16:16.039 triggering panic attacks even just whenever it rained. The couple 295 00:16:16.120 --> 00:16:19.279 had to move into temporary housing and struggling to rebuild 296 00:16:19.320 --> 00:16:24.120 their lives, while Jerry was now declining in health as well. 297 00:16:24.279 --> 00:16:27.919 Holy shit, Oh, their life was like is so magical. 298 00:16:27.960 --> 00:16:30.519 But then there's also now as they're aging, it just 299 00:16:30.519 --> 00:16:33.720 seems kind of shitty. I know, dang, they don't deserve that. 300 00:16:34.360 --> 00:16:38.399 Yeah. So for years Ellen and Jerry were there, supporting 301 00:16:38.399 --> 00:16:40.679 each other through every single hardship they faced, But as 302 00:16:40.759 --> 00:16:44.440 Jerry's condition worsened, Ellen found herself in an unthinkable position. 303 00:16:45.000 --> 00:16:47.240 She was beginning to watch the man that she loved 304 00:16:47.720 --> 00:16:53.200 suffer with absolutely no hope of recovery. For most of 305 00:16:53.240 --> 00:16:56.240 his life, Jerry was a strong and capable man. He 306 00:16:56.279 --> 00:17:00.240 had always been relatively healthy, working physically demanding jobs well 307 00:17:00.279 --> 00:17:04.480 into adulthood, but after retirement things started to change. Jerry 308 00:17:04.519 --> 00:17:06.960 gained a significant amount of weight, which led to type 309 00:17:06.960 --> 00:17:12.680 two diabetes and atri fiblleration, a heart condition that causes 310 00:17:12.720 --> 00:17:17.359 an irregular and often dangerously fast heartbeat. He also developed 311 00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:21.400 a hernia, which required surgery, but during that operation, doctors 312 00:17:21.440 --> 00:17:26.079 made a terrifying discovery. Jerry had an aortic aneurism, a 313 00:17:26.160 --> 00:17:30.039 dangerous bulge in the main artery of the heart. He 314 00:17:30.119 --> 00:17:33.680 underwent surgery to repair the aneurism, but during that procedure, 315 00:17:33.799 --> 00:17:38.240 doctors discovered a second, smaller aneurism located even closer to 316 00:17:38.319 --> 00:17:41.640 his heart. At first, he recovered well, but his body 317 00:17:41.680 --> 00:17:45.160 became fragile and one health issue seemed to lead to another. 318 00:17:45.880 --> 00:17:48.400 Then in December of twenty twenty two, Jerry's health took 319 00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:52.839 a sudden and devastating turn. He became seriously ill and 320 00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:56.920 was admitted to intensive care at Advent Health in New 321 00:17:57.000 --> 00:18:01.039 Samira Beach, Florida. From there, he was transferred to the 322 00:18:01.039 --> 00:18:05.400 Hospital Rehabilitation Unit in Ormond Beach on January first, twenty 323 00:18:05.519 --> 00:18:10.119 twenty three. At first, Ellen and Jerry they remained hopeful 324 00:18:10.680 --> 00:18:13.640 despite his condition. Jerry was talking and could even eat 325 00:18:13.680 --> 00:18:17.920 soft foods. His tracheotomy tube used to help him breathe 326 00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:21.359 was supposed to be removed soon a major step towards recovery. 327 00:18:21.880 --> 00:18:24.960 Physical therapists work with him and trying to help him stand, 328 00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:27.519 you know, beside his bed in the hospital, things like this. 329 00:18:28.240 --> 00:18:31.319 But after just a few weeks, things started to go wrong. 330 00:18:32.079 --> 00:18:36.079 Jerry developed a severe bed sore, causing excruciating pain. He 331 00:18:36.119 --> 00:18:39.319 became weaker instead of stronger, losing his ability to stand. 332 00:18:39.920 --> 00:18:42.960 The physical therapy team stopped coming as often, and eventually 333 00:18:43.000 --> 00:18:46.240 they stopped coming at all. The tracheotomy tube, which was 334 00:18:46.240 --> 00:18:50.839 supposed to be removed, remained in place. Jerry, who had 335 00:18:50.839 --> 00:18:53.960 once been hopeful, began to lose faith that there would 336 00:18:53.960 --> 00:18:56.559 ever be a day where he could leave the hospital. 337 00:18:57.279 --> 00:18:59.279 He told his brother Sam that he wouldn't make it 338 00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:03.039 out alive, and Ellen, who spent twelve to fourteen hours 339 00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:06.400 a day at his bedside, watched helplessly as her husband 340 00:19:06.400 --> 00:19:08.519 deteriorated right before her eyes. 341 00:19:09.079 --> 00:19:11.799 Dang, it almost seems like they gave up on him. 342 00:19:11.839 --> 00:19:14.920 But I guess they're like the rehabilitation team. There was 343 00:19:14.960 --> 00:19:17.119 just nothing else, nothing they could be doing, and how 344 00:19:17.200 --> 00:19:20.519 he got like was seeming more healthy. 345 00:19:20.759 --> 00:19:23.640 Exactly. You can only rehabilitate those who are on the 346 00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:28.480 path to rehabilitation, right, Yeah. Like, for example, if you have, 347 00:19:29.240 --> 00:19:32.400 say a dying limb, your leg is dying for whatever reason. 348 00:19:32.440 --> 00:19:35.680 You know, circulation's going, You're not going to learn to rewalk. 349 00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:38.000 If your limb is still dying, you need, you know, 350 00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:41.880 to have that limb get better or amputated to learn 351 00:19:41.880 --> 00:19:44.160 to walk without it. Yah, there's steps to take before 352 00:19:44.279 --> 00:19:48.519 learning to walk again, you know what I mean, right, Yeah, 353 00:19:48.559 --> 00:19:52.960 So desperate to find help. I mean there was of 354 00:19:52.960 --> 00:19:55.960 course questions, you know that they had and everything, but 355 00:19:56.279 --> 00:19:58.559 they're doing their best. They're desperate to find help. They're 356 00:19:58.599 --> 00:20:01.240 talking to nurses, talking to doctors, trying to figure it out, 357 00:20:02.319 --> 00:20:05.559 and Ellen just threw it all, refused to leave his bedside, 358 00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:09.119 and despite her efforts, Jerry just still kept getting worse. 359 00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:13.119 By mid January, Ellen had come to the heartbreaking realization 360 00:20:14.079 --> 00:20:18.160 her husband wasn't getting better, he was getting worse, and 361 00:20:18.240 --> 00:20:22.839 Jerry was growing weaker and more depressed each day. By 362 00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:27.240 mid January twenty twenty three, Jerry was giving up any 363 00:20:27.279 --> 00:20:30.920 sort of hope. The man who had spent his life working, traveling, 364 00:20:30.920 --> 00:20:33.920 and building a future with his wife was now bedridden. 365 00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:37.359 He was in pain and unable to stand. The tracheotomy tube, 366 00:20:37.599 --> 00:20:40.920 which doctors had initially said could be removed, seemed like 367 00:20:40.960 --> 00:20:43.599 it was never going to be. He couldn't eat solid 368 00:20:43.599 --> 00:20:46.640 foods anymore, he couldn't move freely, and he become a 369 00:20:46.680 --> 00:20:50.119 shadow of the man that he once was. Day after day, 370 00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:55.240 Ellen just sat there watched, praying, but her husband just 371 00:20:55.279 --> 00:20:59.000 grew weaker and more hopeless. He started telling her and 372 00:20:59.039 --> 00:21:01.400 his brother Sam that he wasn't going to make it out, 373 00:21:02.400 --> 00:21:07.960 and then one of the hardest conversations came. The conversations 374 00:21:07.960 --> 00:21:09.799 turned from you know, I'm not getting out of here, 375 00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:13.359 and it turned to Jerry begging Ellen to help him 376 00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:18.200 end his life. At first, Ellen didn't believe it. There 377 00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:21.440 were other options, right, There's got to be had. They 378 00:21:21.480 --> 00:21:24.839 tried everything, but from their perspective, the hospital staff just 379 00:21:24.880 --> 00:21:28.319 wasn't listening to her concerns. And Jerry's condition it wasn't improving. 380 00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:32.200 She didn't seem to trust the system anymore. She later 381 00:21:32.240 --> 00:21:35.880 testified that no one ever talked to her about hospice 382 00:21:36.000 --> 00:21:39.039 or even comfort care, which might have provided an alternate 383 00:21:39.720 --> 00:21:42.400 ending to Jerry's life, but instead she and Jerry were 384 00:21:42.440 --> 00:21:47.279 left feeling isolated and just out of options. After two 385 00:21:47.400 --> 00:21:53.960 days of discussions, Ellen gave in. On January twenty first, 386 00:21:54.000 --> 00:21:57.279 twenty twenty three. She left the hospital and drove back 387 00:21:57.319 --> 00:21:59.599 to the rental house that they'd been staying in since 388 00:21:59.599 --> 00:22:04.319 the hurric Jerry had always owned a thirty eight caliber Revolver, 389 00:22:04.920 --> 00:22:07.480 but it had been damaged by floodwaters when their home 390 00:22:07.599 --> 00:22:10.279 was destroyed. He told Ellen where to find it, and 391 00:22:10.359 --> 00:22:12.640 she took it, the gun and bullets to a gun 392 00:22:12.680 --> 00:22:15.559 shop to make sure it was still functional. The workers 393 00:22:15.640 --> 00:22:18.119 checked it over and confirmed that with a little cleaning, 394 00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:21.799 it would fire just fine. That same day, Ellen sat 395 00:22:21.960 --> 00:22:25.160 at a computer and typed a suicide. 396 00:22:24.559 --> 00:22:27.759 Note, Oh my Goodness. 397 00:22:28.200 --> 00:22:30.880 She later said she hadn't originally planned to write one, 398 00:22:30.920 --> 00:22:33.559 but felt that she should say something before carrying out 399 00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:37.039 the plan that they had concocted. She then returned to 400 00:22:37.079 --> 00:22:40.880 the hospital carrying a gun and a fresh box of bullets. 401 00:22:41.519 --> 00:22:43.640