Speaker 1: A M E L.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's right. Folks say for comedy, Hey for Abbit,
Speaker 2: for Maxwell, he for Enna's l for Lou Costello. Put
Speaker 2: them all together and they spell camel experience is the
Speaker 2: best teacher. Try a camel. Let your own experience tell
Speaker 2: you why more people are smoking camels than ever before,
Speaker 2: And draw up a chair for Tonight's Camel Show starring
Speaker 2: put Abbit and Lou Costello.
Speaker 3: Hey, Castello Castel here.
Speaker 4: Hey, by the way, what were you doing at Universal
Speaker 4: International Studios this morning?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 5: I had to take my pet flies over there?
Speaker 3: You took flies to a picture studio?
Speaker 6: What for?
Speaker 3: They get him a screen test if you win?
Speaker 5: Who who was that redheaded couch?
Speaker 3: Hey? Lo? Who was that red headed girl that was
Speaker 3: with you? Oh?
Speaker 5: She's been chasing after me for years, Abbott.
Speaker 3: I call her pilot like pilot light.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's an old flame that stayed lit. But she's
Speaker 5: a lovely girl, Abbitt. She's very social.
Speaker 3: Does she have a Does she have good connections? Lot?
Speaker 3: I think you punt. Does she have good connections?
Speaker 5: Well, she never fell apart.
Speaker 3: Well I was with her.
Speaker 4: I'm talking about her connections her associates.
Speaker 3: Does she belongs to the junior League.
Speaker 5: Belong to the Junior League. No, she belongs to the
Speaker 5: Coast League. She used to pitch for the San Francisco Seal.
Speaker 3: Castill. I'm talking about the Junior League society.
Speaker 4: Has she come out yet? Has she made her debut?
Speaker 4: Or what her debut?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 5: Sure, every time she comes out debu hey boor al
Speaker 5: right they say booye hey. But she's very she's very
Speaker 5: high tone abbit. What she was born in the south
Speaker 5: of England.
Speaker 3: Oh, I see her family came from Wales. Her family
Speaker 3: came from Wales.
Speaker 5: Yes, I thought her conversation sounded a little fishy.
Speaker 3: Stop SNDS please Wales.
Speaker 4: Wales is part of England. That means they're English people.
Speaker 4: Now what does her father do.
Speaker 5: He's got a big diplomatic job.
Speaker 3: With a bakery. A diplomatic job and a bakery again.
Speaker 5: Helm's Bakery. He's a British advisor to the English cruppets.
Speaker 3: All right, forget about a father. What does she do?
Speaker 3: What does she do?
Speaker 5: Yes, well, she weighs two hundred and fifty pounds and
Speaker 5: she's got a big job as a sandhak.
Speaker 3: How could a woman be a sandha?
Speaker 5: She sits around the beach all day and hodge the
Speaker 5: sand sounds like quite a family.
Speaker 3: Are they wealthy? Wealthy Abbott?
Speaker 5: They got a chateau in France, a villain Switzerland, a
Speaker 5: castle in Spain and a hessienda in Mexico?
Speaker 3: Where do they live in?
Speaker 5: A quantcert hut and Glendale?
Speaker 3: You're wasting your time with these people. Why didn't you
Speaker 3: get yourself a good job?
Speaker 5: I had a good job once, have it? I worked
Speaker 5: for a foot doctor. I used to put bird seat
Speaker 5: in people's shoes. Bird seats in people's shoes, or that
Speaker 5: keeps their pitching toes away from their coin?
Speaker 3: Castell, a clean lord, Castell. I'm only trying to help you.
Speaker 3: Look why that you listen to me? You can change.
Speaker 3: I used to be dumb like you once. I was ignorant,
Speaker 3: stupid and ugly. And you know what what caused the change?
Speaker 3: Wat change? Uh? There must be somewhere to get you
Speaker 3: a job. Wait a minute, I've got it.
Speaker 5: I'll speak to Harry Riddoff about you. Better still, I'll
Speaker 5: have my brother get you a job where he works
Speaker 5: the nothing bow factory. Your brother works nothing? Both, yes,
Speaker 5: what she's doing there?
Speaker 3: Nothing? Nothing? He is working doing what nothing? And he
Speaker 3: gets paid for doing nothing, certainly.
Speaker 5: Hey, but if I get a good job at the
Speaker 5: nothing bowl factory, what would I be doing nothing? Now
Speaker 5: you're talking, that's the kind of job I.
Speaker 4: Wanted, where it is nothing is hard work. My brother
Speaker 4: puts in eight hours a day, five days a.
Speaker 3: Week, doing nothing. That's ry.
Speaker 5: Look abit your brother works in a bowl factory. Yes,
Speaker 5: are you sure he don't do nothing? Besides nothing?
Speaker 3: We else?
Speaker 4: Sometimes he works in the foundery department. Then he forges steals.
Speaker 3: How do you like that?
Speaker 5: He ain't satisfied getting paid for doing nothing? Now he
Speaker 5: forges and steals a crock? He has not a crock. Different,
Speaker 5: he's worked hall all his night. Before he worked in
Speaker 5: another bowl factory. He worked in a rope factory. What's
Speaker 5: he doing in a rope factory? Not?
Speaker 3: Well, that's different.
Speaker 5: I mean, wait a minute, what did you say he
Speaker 5: was doing in a rope factory?
Speaker 3: Nodding, nodding.
Speaker 5: This guy's been getting away with murder so far. He's
Speaker 5: had two jobs up to now, he's been doing nothing
Speaker 5: and nothing in.
Speaker 4: The costels to me, and I'll try to explain it
Speaker 4: so that even you can understand.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 4: The rope factory makes tennis nets. What nets nets, and
Speaker 4: next to you to my brother made tennis nets. The
Speaker 4: nets are tied together with knots, and my brother does nodding.
Speaker 3: Just a second abbot. When did you butter start nothing nodding? Oh?
Speaker 3: About three years ago? And what's he doing?
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 3: I told you nothing? Look up to now you told.
Speaker 5: Me less than that. You said your putt it did
Speaker 5: nothing for three years, and now he's doing nothing. When
Speaker 5: is he gonna start doing something?
Speaker 3: He is doing something? What nutting?
Speaker 5: Nothing?
Speaker 3: Really? Well, lat one of us is nuts.
Speaker 5: Look, don't you gotta get tired of doing nothing? Oh?
Speaker 3: Of course when he gets tired, he takes a vacation.
Speaker 3: What does he do on his vacation? Nothing? Now there
Speaker 3: is a pretty picture.
Speaker 5: This guy does nothing for three years, but doing nothing
Speaker 5: is too tough for him, so he gets a new
Speaker 5: job doing nothing. Then he gets tired of doing nothing,
Speaker 5: so he takes a vacation and does nothing.
Speaker 3: Now you've got it.
Speaker 5: Well, if I got it, I caught it from you.
Speaker 2: Experience is the best teacher.
Speaker 6: Three running steps abound from the springboard, high into the
Speaker 6: air and straight down into the water for a perfect.
Speaker 3: Jack knife dive.
Speaker 6: Once again, the crowd cheers blonde, beautiful Mildred O'Donnell, Metropolitan
Speaker 6: Diving Champion of New York. It takes experience to dive
Speaker 6: like that. As miss O'Donnell.
Speaker 3: Said, experience is the best teacher in diving, and that
Speaker 3: goes for smoking too. I learned from experience that camel
Speaker 3: is a cigarette for me.
Speaker 2: Yes, experience is the best teacher. And the experience of
Speaker 2: smoking whatever cigarette brands they could get during the wartime
Speaker 2: shortage taught millions the differences in cigarette quality. Then is
Speaker 2: when folks tea zones that's tea for taste and tea
Speaker 2: for throat, learn that camels suited them best.
Speaker 7: The result today more people smoke camels than ever before.
Speaker 2: Get acquainted with camel's rich, full flavor and cool mildness.
Speaker 2: See if camels don't suit your tea zoned to a tea, Yes,
Speaker 2: experience is the best teacher. Try a camel, and while
Speaker 2: you light up a camel, Skinny Anna sayings my number
Speaker 2: one dream came true.
Speaker 3: A million times a day.
Speaker 8: I pinched myself and said, my number one dream came true.
Speaker 8: And if I rubbed my eyes, it's only in surprise
Speaker 8: my number one dream came true. I had my number
Speaker 8: two and three and.
Speaker 5: Four dreams with less of possibilities in each.
Speaker 3: I might have planned on dreaming even.
Speaker 8: More dreams because number one was way beyond me.
Speaker 3: I can't believe.
Speaker 8: It yet, But if my fate were sad, it did
Speaker 8: wh I wanted to. Don't ask me when a while how,
Speaker 8: But if I'm here with you, my number one dream
Speaker 8: came true.
Speaker 3: I had my number two and three and four dreams
Speaker 3: with us of possibilities in each.
Speaker 8: I might have planned on dream even more dream.
Speaker 3: Because number one was way beyond read. I can believe
Speaker 3: it end.
Speaker 8: But if my favorite was set, it did what I'd
Speaker 8: wanted to.
Speaker 3: Don't ask me when a while, hal, But if I'm.
Speaker 8: Here with you, my number one dream.
Speaker 3: Came dream.
Speaker 4: Pastello, It's time for you to start thinking of the future.
Speaker 4: Why don't you get a good job, be industrious, keep
Speaker 4: your nose of the grindstone, save your money, and in
Speaker 4: ten years you can retire and you won't have to work, Loue.
Speaker 5: Why should I go through all that. I'm not working now.
Speaker 3: I don't believe you ever had a job.
Speaker 5: Oh, guys, a suckingna work habit. What you gotta do
Speaker 5: is go on one of those quiz programs to you
Speaker 5: other night. My aunt may one nine thousand dollars in cash,
Speaker 5: a refrigerator, to washing machines, and a brand new house.
Speaker 3: Well that's wonderful. Yeah, and she was one of the losers.
Speaker 4: Htella, Please aren't you interested in bettering yourself?
Speaker 3: Why don't you find an honest job? What and quit radio? All?
Speaker 4: Why don't you look at the ads in the paper
Speaker 4: and find a job for yourself?
Speaker 5: Oh, I got a job all picked out, abbit, I
Speaker 5: stually want to add. In the funny papers it said, sell
Speaker 5: twenty four bottles of Chief Schmos Spot Remover and get
Speaker 5: a magic lantern free. I can also win the five
Speaker 5: hundred dollars grand prize by selling one hundred and seventy
Speaker 5: five million buckles.
Speaker 4: Oh, gostell, there's only one hundred thirty million people in
Speaker 4: the United States, So.
Speaker 5: What I got friends in Mexico?
Speaker 4: Well, now wait a minute, selling Spot Remover is better
Speaker 4: than doing nothing at all.
Speaker 3: Come on, let's go over and see this Chief Smow.
Speaker 3: Well here it is, Costella. See the sign on the door.
Speaker 3: Chief Schmo's, Indian Remedy Company.
Speaker 5: Spot Remover, Indian Tonic Scout Treatments and Tommy Hawk's sharpened.
Speaker 3: Now, well, come on, let's go in. Well, good morning, gentlemen.
Speaker 5: As the Santa fe train said to the freight train,
Speaker 5: I am the Chilo.
Speaker 3: Tst Seller. Hey, this guy don't look like an Indian Tommy,
Speaker 3: sure he is.
Speaker 5: I can talk about the way he's dressed. He's wearing
Speaker 5: an arrow collar and a bow tie. Get it, bow
Speaker 5: and arrow. Get your pictures from Adadic. I'm picturing him
Speaker 5: in air tonight.
Speaker 4: Chief Smoll, my friend Costella Rigor had in the funny
Speaker 4: papers and he'd like to try selling your spot remover.
Speaker 5: Well. To be a chief Schmo salesman, Costello, you'll have
Speaker 5: to have fire in your voice. You've got to go
Speaker 5: with feeling, please with personality. What do you want a
Speaker 5: salesman or a bloat torture jee?
Speaker 3: Do you think Castella can handle this job?
Speaker 5: Costello will have to fill out this application.
Speaker 3: Fall I'll read the questions when they apply to you.
Speaker 3: Just answer yes. Were you a college graduate? Were you
Speaker 3: a high school graduate? Were you're a grammar school graduate?
Speaker 3: Were you born?
Speaker 5: Well, I'll turn the form over on the other side
Speaker 5: and see if it goes any lower. Costello, our personnalit
Speaker 5: is highly restricted, specially selected. We demand the highest qualifications.
Speaker 5: What makes you think you can be a chief Smoe salesman?
Speaker 5: When I show you're adding the funny papers?
Speaker 3: Oh good.
Speaker 5: For a while I didn't think you had the qualification.
Speaker 3: Now, before you go out.
Speaker 5: To sell Chief Schmoe Spot Remover, I want to give
Speaker 5: you a few points about being a door to door salesman.
Speaker 5: I don't want to be a door salesman who wants
Speaker 5: to show doors. I want to sell spot Remover. No,
Speaker 5: young man, when I say you sell door to door,
Speaker 5: I don't mean you sell doors. I mean that you
Speaker 5: sell spot remover even though you're selling door to door.
Speaker 3: How do you like that?
Speaker 5: Now? The Indians are doing our routine now, Costello, when
Speaker 5: a housewive tries to slam the door on you make
Speaker 5: sure your foot is in the way, but my foot
Speaker 5: might get height and your case stick your head and
Speaker 5: the dog. Now here's your twenty four bottles of spot
Speaker 5: Remover and your sample case.
Speaker 3: Sell these and you get the magic land Wait a minute,
Speaker 3: let me get this right, jeep.
Speaker 4: If Costella sells the twenty four bottles in one day,
Speaker 4: he not only gets the magic lantern.
Speaker 3: But also a special pride. That is correct.
Speaker 5: This week we have a very valuable prize at genuine
Speaker 5: twelve foot pole. Twelve foot pole, what's that for?
Speaker 3: That's for girls you can't touch with a ten football.
Speaker 6: Keep going and sell that spot revolver.
Speaker 4: Hey, Costella, there's a woman right over there, Castella, Why don't.
Speaker 3: You make her your first customer? Okay, good idea.
Speaker 9: Pardon me, miss Well if it isn't mister Orbit and
Speaker 9: mister Costello, you fought little mom.
Speaker 3: You bastell Is Costella is selling sponsor remover.
Speaker 5: Oh fine, I'd love to potronize him, but I'm very busy.
Speaker 3: I'm on my way to armg ARM studios. Oh g
Speaker 3: arm studios. Why haven't you heard arm GM studios.
Speaker 5: That's where they make pictures with Clark Gooble, Luna Tuna
Speaker 5: and Mooki Runey.
Speaker 3: Did you ever yes?
Speaker 9: Yes, did you ever act at arms g M with
Speaker 9: sponsor Trucy?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 5: But I was a coop boy at Republic with Ruey rugs.
Speaker 9: Well, I must be tolding along, as we say in Norwegian?
Speaker 5: Are that our ros dedobo donka nakid and a lot
Speaker 5: of busted bubblegum and a kiss it.
Speaker 3: To your tail hill. Well, yeah, stiddy be Causetella selling
Speaker 3: spotty movement. Would you like to buy some? No?
Speaker 5: Thanks, I don't need any Oh you don't, eh, you
Speaker 5: certainly do. Look at the stage on your necktie. I
Speaker 5: can tell everything you head for lunch shrimp, lam chaddle,
Speaker 5: lamb chops and coffee. While there's only one clean spot
Speaker 5: on your whole necktie.
Speaker 3: I know I'm saving that for dessert. Does every wind
Speaker 3: him because they'll hey, look he comes, Marylyn Maxwell. Oh, Louis,
Speaker 3: the most wonderful thing has happened. I've just been chosen
Speaker 3: California's Queen of the Orange Groves, Maryland.
Speaker 5: Can I be your smudge pot?
Speaker 3: Louis? You're so cute, marylnd. Can I move to your
Speaker 3: house tonight? Not tonight, Louis, I'm washing my dog.
Speaker 5: How about tomorrow night. But tomorrow night, I'm taking my
Speaker 5: dog to the dog show.
Speaker 3: How about Saturday night? Saturday night? I'm busy.
Speaker 5: What's your dog doing?
Speaker 3: Costella is selling spot for removal. Would you like to
Speaker 3: buy a bottle? Well? Is it any good?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 5: Sure, that's my line. Certainly it's good. I'll show you. Oh,
Speaker 5: there's a little spot on your dress now I soak
Speaker 5: my handkerchief with a spot remover and rub.
Speaker 3: It on your dress.
Speaker 5: Don't just stand in there, rabbit, throw a breaking around her.
Speaker 3: Hello, as you ruined my dress.
Speaker 4: Goodbye, Well, Costella, you certainly lost Maryland for a customer. Well,
Speaker 4: come on, let's go in here to missus Whittwasher's house.
Speaker 3: Oh hello, mister ravit.
Speaker 5: Oh my, I wonder who left that garbage can on
Speaker 5: my front stool.
Speaker 3: Whoa pardon me? That's costil Oh, missus Whittwash. We don't
Speaker 3: want to bother you if you have company company by
Speaker 3: I'm here all loo.
Speaker 5: Then who are those two people looking over your shoulder?
Speaker 3: Oh? Pardon me? That's your ears wire? Costella fire fire,
Speaker 3: missus web watch. Costella is selling this spot remover? What
Speaker 3: were they selling? Spot frey remover? Selling it? Not a drink?
Speaker 6: Some much.
Speaker 3: Drink spot removers.
Speaker 5: Not remove Oh I thought you said, potterymover.
Speaker 3: Knock get out of you before I slam the door
Speaker 3: on you.
Speaker 5: Come on, Castella, come on, okay, no, no, we can't
Speaker 5: remember what chief most head. If a woman tries to
Speaker 5: close the door, stick your head in it. Go ahead,
Speaker 5: slam the door, missus w wash. All right, missus wedwish
Speaker 5: you've slammed the door on Costello's hand.
Speaker 6: Oh little man, I'll buy all your spot remover every bottle.
Speaker 6: I'll stroke your head until the swelling goes down and
Speaker 6: out my arms around you.
Speaker 3: Cut are you clothes to be? I'll kiss you? Excuse you,
Speaker 3: I'm kiss you and kiss you Costello? Can you hear me?
Speaker 5: Yes, slam the door on my head again?
Speaker 2: Harlen Maxwell from Metro Golden Mayor, producers of Sea of Grass,
Speaker 2: and here's Maryland to sing for camel bands everywhere.
Speaker 10: Is no greaterlone than what I feel boy you, No
Speaker 10: greater alone, no heartsuit. There is no greater thrill than
Speaker 10: what you bring to me, No sweetest song than what
Speaker 10: you sing to me. You're the sweetest thing I have
Speaker 10: ever known. And to think that you are mine alone.
Speaker 11: But there is no greater love in.
Speaker 3: All the world, It's true.
Speaker 10: No greater love than what I bee for.
Speaker 9: You, No greater love, no heart so true, no sweetest
Speaker 9: song than what you sing.
Speaker 11: To me, sweetest.
Speaker 9: Thing not No, you are my love.
Speaker 11: There is no greater alone in all the world, It's true,
Speaker 11: No greater long than baby what A.
Speaker 1: Plenty of smokers say that the first time camels and
Speaker 1: their tea zones that's tea for taste and tea for
Speaker 1: throat got acquainted, so mighty pleasant things began to happen. Well,
Speaker 1: why not see for yourself if Camel's rich, full flavor
Speaker 1: doesn't win a fast and grateful thank you from your taste,
Speaker 1: see how your throat reacts to Camel's cool mildness. Experience
Speaker 1: in your own tea zone may tell you that camel
Speaker 1: is your cigarette too, and you'll understand why so many
Speaker 1: doctors prefer camels. Three leading independent research organizations recently asked
Speaker 1: this question of one hundred thirteen thousand, five hundred and
Speaker 1: ninety seven doctors, what.
Speaker 3: Cigarette do you smoke? Doctor? The and name most was Camo.
Speaker 7: According to a recent nationwide survey, more doctors more Camels
Speaker 7: than any other cigarette.
Speaker 4: Well, costell, you sold all the spot remover. Now let's
Speaker 4: go in to hear the chief at Schmoe's office and
Speaker 4: give him the money and get your magic lantern.
Speaker 3: Good morning, whom do you wish to see? I'd like
Speaker 3: to see chief smoke. I'm sorry, he's busy. Now he's
Speaker 3: holding a pow wow what pow wow? Pow wow, pow wow.
Speaker 5: I can hear it as a dog barking somewhere. Why
Speaker 5: Castella comes to chief, Ah, gentlemen, As Michael Angelo said
Speaker 5: to Venus tomorrow, I see you're back.
Speaker 4: And Castella sold all the spottery move a chief, and
Speaker 4: he's here to get his magic Landford.
Speaker 5: Why he solo at John, I mean that spot r
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, Well, as Slippy de Rosa said when speaking
Speaker 5: of his new bride, what a day, And Slippery du
Speaker 5: Rocha said to happy Chandler, what a year.
Speaker 4: If you don't mind, she just give Costello's magic lantern,
Speaker 4: we'll be.
Speaker 3: Going that not so fast balls.
Speaker 5: By selling that spot remove a, Costello was only qualified
Speaker 5: for the magic lantern. Now all he has to do
Speaker 5: is help me sell nine hundred navy bottles of Schmos
Speaker 5: Indian water. I can sell anything. I even sold insurance.
Speaker 5: I Soldlana turn Her some sweater insurance. I sold Darthy
Speaker 5: lot more some Sarrong insurance. I even sold Gypsy rose
Speaker 5: Lee insurance too. Wait a minute, why did Gypsy rose
Speaker 5: Lee have insured these Indians lead shelters lives, don't they.
Speaker 3: She took full coverage.
Speaker 4: Wait a minute, why should this boy have to sell
Speaker 4: nine hundred navy bottles of Schmos Indian Water.
Speaker 3: Chief, this sounds like a shady deal.
Speaker 5: Mister Abert, there's fifty dollars, isn't it for you?
Speaker 3: If you can get Costello to help me?
Speaker 5: Oh that's different, Castello. I think it's a splendid idea.
Speaker 5: You just said it was a shady deal. The smog
Speaker 5: cleared up pretty fast, and.
Speaker 3: Gee, what is this? What does this Indian water do?
Speaker 5: Smoe's Indian Water is the elixir of youth. It takes
Speaker 5: years off your life. Why Al Johnson took one teaspoonful
Speaker 5: and you know what happened.
Speaker 3: Larry Parks, They covered me.
Speaker 5: Come into the laboratory and meet the Indians who make
Speaker 5: Schmoe's Indian Water. This is our head chemist, me big Brave,
Speaker 5: We're Rabbit and Costello.
Speaker 3: You ever listening to our radio program me?
Speaker 5: Not Thirt Brave, mister Brave Brave. Hi dabbled in chemistry myself.
Speaker 5: Listen to this H two O two S three. What's
Speaker 5: that ethyl alcohol? THENNUR'SE H one s S O five?
Speaker 5: What's that ethyl chloride? Thennurse H hi two one eight three?
Speaker 5: What's that ethyl Schultz? That's our phone number. If a
Speaker 5: man interest that's the wrong formula. Now this is where
Speaker 5: we make the famous SMOs Indian water that brings back you.
Speaker 3: This big Indian fills that part with herbs.
Speaker 5: His squaw stirs the mex her all day long, and
Speaker 5: a night when it's finished, he licks her.
Speaker 3: He licks her here.
Speaker 5: Now there's gratitude for you, a poor squash.
Speaker 3: It's all day over.
Speaker 5: A hot fire, stir in that pot. Then at night
Speaker 5: Decinian comes along.
Speaker 3: Gives her a beating. What are you talking about?
Speaker 5: I'm gonna report this to the police.
Speaker 3: Have it beating that poor woman, because tell nobody's getting
Speaker 3: a beating. He just said, a squash. There's the pot
Speaker 3: all day.
Speaker 5: Then at night Decinyan comes along and he licks her.
Speaker 3: What's what's wrong with that? What's wrong with it?
Speaker 5: Nobody's gonna hit the squad when I'm around. If he
Speaker 5: licks her tonight, I'll have to lit me.
Speaker 3: He'll have to lick me too. Yeah. Lost. When he
Speaker 3: says Alexei, he don't mean he licks her. He means alixir,
Speaker 3: and the elixir is a name. Well, when don'd you say? So?
Speaker 3: I know her very well. She watched for Warner Brothers.
Speaker 3: Who works go Wanner brother He lix her Smith. Are
Speaker 3: you a idiom?
Speaker 5: This alix Here's a tonic. It makes you feel young.
Speaker 5: It's it's a pick me up, it's a what pick
Speaker 5: me up? Okay, ah, put me down, you idiots.
Speaker 3: You just asked me to pick you up. I did not.
Speaker 3: I said pick me up, and now put me down.
Speaker 5: But make up your mind.
Speaker 3: Where gentlemen, we're ready to go.
Speaker 5: Hop into the truck and mill, make our pitch in
Speaker 5: an empty lot and sell the nine hundred and eighty
Speaker 5: bottles or SMOs.
Speaker 3: Elixir of Life.
Speaker 5: Okay, Castello, Costello.
Speaker 4: Look at the crowds of people coming by, Chief Smoes
Speaker 4: Lixir of youth.
Speaker 3: Go ahead and make your pick. Okay, hi, babe, gee,
Speaker 3: you're cute. What are you doing tonight?
Speaker 5: Lum pitch blum, pitchy boys.
Speaker 3: I'll make the pitch. And Costello Costello, you sell the medicine.
Speaker 3: And remember back up everything I say. Remember that, Costella,
Speaker 3: anything the Chief says, you back them up. I get it.
Speaker 5: Friends, I am Chief Smoke. Anyone that drinks SMOs India
Speaker 5: water can be young forever. It takes years off your life.
Speaker 5: Look at me, I am two hundred and thirty nine
Speaker 5: years old. I've been drinking this water since I was
Speaker 5: a young man. I've worn out four shape a lifetime pens.
Speaker 5: Look at me, two hundred and thirty nine years old. Friends,
Speaker 5: The medicine is one dollar a bott all. My assistant
Speaker 5: will pass among you.
Speaker 3: Go ahead, Costello, okay.
Speaker 5: Owes Indian water one dollar a bottle.
Speaker 3: How about you, lady, I'll take one. But young man,
Speaker 3: is that Indian really two hundred and thirty nine years old?
Speaker 5: Couldn't prove it by me, lady, I've only been with
Speaker 5: him one hundred and forty six years. All right, you're
Speaker 5: a fact faker.
Speaker 3: I'm an officer of the Lord. How long did you
Speaker 3: say you were working for that Indian?
Speaker 5: I'm gonna apply for the job tomorrow morning.
Speaker 3: That enough for not into the buttroer ragging with your
Speaker 3: nah just a minute off salvals for my friend.
Speaker 4: Hey, you see, Costello was told to say he was
Speaker 4: one hundred and forty six years old.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Castella would be one hundred and forty six years
Speaker 5: old by the time he gets out of jail into
Speaker 5: the throw ragging.
Speaker 3: With both of you. Well, Castella, you certainly got us
Speaker 3: in a fine mess this time.
Speaker 5: Don't pull me out of it. I've been through too
Speaker 5: much already. I'm tired, and I'm thirsty, thirsty, I know
Speaker 5: I'll drink a couple of bottles of cheap Schmosey lecture
Speaker 5: of youth.
Speaker 3: Costella, Costella, don't drink that junk. That stuff is a castello.
Speaker 3: Where are you?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Bye, yes, bell right here Castello Castello. I don't see you.
Speaker 3: All I see is as a fat little boy Abba.
Speaker 3: That's the work.
Speaker 5: The fat boy has mello.
Speaker 3: This is wonderful. They can prosecute a child.
Speaker 4: When we get to the station house, I'll jump out
Speaker 4: of the patrol wagon wagon and run.
Speaker 3: Then you you you turn when I turn you loose?
Speaker 3: I mean you can right home to here? What bye bye?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I like your crooks. Come out of that wagon. He
Speaker 3: now crux and him. That's a pregment only without may.
Speaker 5: How many times if I call you kids not to
Speaker 5: hitch right on the patrol wagon.
Speaker 3: Don't you know what's around to do a thing like that? Why?
Speaker 3: Why do you always do these things? Oh? Why up?
Speaker 5: Boy?
Speaker 3: Costello will be back to Jestro moment court. Camel cigarette.
Speaker 2: During the war, the makers of camel cigarettes sent a
Speaker 2: total of more than one hundred and fifty million free
Speaker 2: camels to our fighting men overseas. Now free camels are
Speaker 2: center servicemen's hospitals instead. This week the camel's go to
Speaker 2: Veterans Hospital Conandega, New York, USAF Station Hospital, Morrisonfield, West
Speaker 2: Palm Beach, Florida. US Naval Hospital, Long Beach, California, US
Speaker 2: Marine Hospital, Evansville, Indiana, Newton de Baker Veterans Hospital, Martinsburg,
Speaker 2: West Virginia. Campmeel broadcasts go up to the United States
Speaker 2: three times a week, are rebroadcast to practically every area
Speaker 2: in the world where our men are still stationed, and
Speaker 2: to our good neighbors in Central and South America. And
Speaker 2: now back to Bud Abbatt and Luke Costello.
Speaker 3: Well Castello. Next week is the opening of the baseball season.
Speaker 5: Yes, it'll be a great week for my Unclelaudie Stebbens.
Speaker 5: You know, he was a famous baseball player. He played
Speaker 5: and played till he got so old he couldn't tell
Speaker 5: a ball from a striking.
Speaker 3: Then what happened. They made him a numpiot. Good Night ball.
Speaker 2: Visit Abbitue Costello again next Thursday, when Costello gets a
Speaker 2: telegram from Joe Demascio, which leads the boys into their
Speaker 2: famous baseball routine. Tune in next week and you might
Speaker 2: find out who's hod first.
Speaker 7: When a man packs his pipe with Prince Albert, he's
Speaker 7: all set for real smoking contentment. It's Prince Albert that
Speaker 7: gives a pipe smoker the extra rich flavor in the
Speaker 7: cool mildness that means lasting enjoyment. And it's Prince Albert
Speaker 7: that's crim cut to pack just right in a pipe
Speaker 7: and to burn slowly and evenly. Pack your pipe with
Speaker 7: Pa and enjoy the National joy Smoke Saturday night. Enjoy
Speaker 7: Prince Albert's grandell Opry with a heartwarming singing of Red Folly,
Speaker 7: the happy fun making of Vinnie Pearl, the rollicking crew
Speaker 7: of Grande Olofrey, and red special guest, a brand new comedian,
Speaker 7: Red brass Field.
Speaker 3: Be sure to tune in.
Speaker 2: Next week for another great Habit and Costello show. Rough
Speaker 2: to you by Camo Cigarettes. And remember, experience is the
Speaker 2: best teacher. Try a camel let your own experience, because
Speaker 2: you why more people are smoking.
Speaker 3: Camels than ever before. See M. A. M.
Speaker 2: S Abt and Costello will soon be seen in the
Speaker 2: new Universal International picture.
Speaker 3: Buck Privates Come Home.
Speaker 2: This is Michael Royan Hollywood, wishing you all a pleasant
Speaker 2: good night for Camos.
Speaker 3: They do.
Speaker 2: Now, for the any candor tell, this is NBC, the
Speaker 2: national broadcasting couple