Speaker 1: From Hollywood, The Judy can Over Show brought few weeks
Speaker 1: week by the Colgate Palmary Peach Company, makers of Palmilly
Speaker 1: Soap and Colgate Tooth Powder, Mammy Soap, Your Beauty, Hope
Speaker 1: and Colgate Tooth Powder.
Speaker 2: For a breath of Sweet present The Judy Canova Show
Speaker 2: with mel Blank, Ruby Dandres Broon of Felton, Joe Kerns,
Speaker 2: The s Workman Opeks and his Orchestra and starring Judy Canova.
Speaker 3: If it ain't build, it's tack. If it ain't waves,
Speaker 3: it's whack. If it nin't skirts, it's slack. Gotta beat
Speaker 3: this or that. If it I steer, it's doggy. If
Speaker 3: it ain't high, it's sooky.
Speaker 4: If it ain't ay, it's fogy. Gotta be this all that?
Speaker 5: Who can it be? If it ain't me?
Speaker 4: I know it's not your brother.
Speaker 5: Can't you see It's gotta.
Speaker 4: Be just one way of the other. Tell me what
Speaker 4: I'm must know. If you don't lie, I'll go.
Speaker 3: If it ain't yes, it's no gotta be this a
Speaker 3: bad illi say I'm act, I'm really in the mass
Speaker 3: man asking for my hands.
Speaker 4: So you just understand this gotta be this a fad,
Speaker 4: I ain't gonna see it. And wait even I had
Speaker 4: a date.
Speaker 3: In nineteen twenty as the gotta be this a fad?
Speaker 5: Why I'm it?
Speaker 4: One soldier from the side sif he was you kind
Speaker 4: of call and lanky handy dad, I reminded him of
Speaker 4: lovely native girlsy scene.
Speaker 5: And hey, what is of you?
Speaker 4: Bangy? So just make up your mind because if you don't,
Speaker 4: you fine.
Speaker 3: I ain't a past time and you're love of the
Speaker 3: common contact with a baseball bat m.
Speaker 4: Tata be.
Speaker 6: Well.
Speaker 2: Judy has decided to augment her vocal talents by becoming
Speaker 2: a musician, and as our scene open, she's practicing on
Speaker 2: the saxophone.
Speaker 3: Draam audrum, joinium, I'm yes, Judy, come over here.
Speaker 4: Take those air mups off. I'm coming, honey. How can
Speaker 4: you hear with those air mufs on? I can't. Hey,
Speaker 4: what do you think of my playing? That's my music
Speaker 4: sends you?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 4: Yes, MIT's this said?
Speaker 5: All right?
Speaker 4: But that ain't the way I like to travel. Well,
Speaker 4: I learned a new number. Listen to this, okay, godl
Speaker 4: and Judy? What number was that song of India by
Speaker 4: Ramsky Kars The car M's the Corser car.
Speaker 3: Well it sounded flat, my sur it's flat carsic cop
Speaker 3: was driving in on the ramsky.
Speaker 4: Oh hey, this jitty and that's the mouse sting in
Speaker 4: that saxophone. Now I'm happy. Hm, that's settled it.
Speaker 3: That's the last time I'll ever play the saxophone.
Speaker 4: While I'm chewing bubblegum. Thank you, Raiam. Did you ever
Speaker 4: play a musical instrument? Oh? Yeah, honey, I used to
Speaker 4: play the tuba.
Speaker 3: I put everything I had into that tuber. You did, yes,
Speaker 3: with my shape, I could jesse about naked.
Speaker 4: Oho, mad Aggie. How'd you like my saxophone solo?
Speaker 7: Well, Judy, I can't say much for your playing. Why
Speaker 7: must you always play swing? I'm staed up with popular music.
Speaker 4: Well, shot, said I after I played it ain't popular?
Speaker 7: Of course, I like some modern conductors, such as Paul
Speaker 7: Whitemancostilana whom do you like?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 3: I kind of lean toward Harry James, but Betty Gravell
Speaker 3: keep pushing me away.
Speaker 4: Ah, but the old masters will live forever yep.
Speaker 3: After all, why would music be today if Wagner didn't
Speaker 3: give a wag beet Hoven didn't give a beat, and
Speaker 3: damn Rush didn't guty you thought I was gonna cut
Speaker 3: and say durn didn't you? Well this I ain't getting
Speaker 3: my practicing done.
Speaker 4: Hey, look, my judy. That man next door is opening
Speaker 4: his window and waving at you. O man, mister Michael,
Speaker 4: did you hear me playing indeed? I did you know Atterson,
Speaker 4: Topeka and Santa fe? Yeah? Do you want me to
Speaker 4: play it?
Speaker 8: No? I want you to take it.
Speaker 4: Oh, tell him, no mind this duty. He's just old
Speaker 4: meaning yeah, I know it.
Speaker 3: He's so many uses, Bob, why for clothes line so
Speaker 3: the birds can't sit down?
Speaker 4: Little birds. Feels so sorry for him. Just have a
Speaker 4: good fat any time. But to the time on the radio.
Speaker 4: Oh gosh, yeah, I nearly forgot my favorite program turning
Speaker 4: on drain him.
Speaker 8: The toottl saxophone now uh is on the air.
Speaker 2: Two little saxophones are dandy, built to get your mouth.
Speaker 9: That's newt by morning. Keep it handy when you're going
Speaker 9: on that.
Speaker 2: To uh to.
Speaker 9: Hello, everybody, this is hot. Flickstein, you're a saxophone man.
Speaker 9: Are you a social outcast?
Speaker 4: You sit home alone? Yeah? Night after night you do,
Speaker 4: uh huh.
Speaker 9: Well, then take a saxophone course and be the life
Speaker 9: of the party.
Speaker 6: If after six lessons, you don't play the saxophone beautifully,
Speaker 6: I'll kiss.
Speaker 4: A pig shots. I've had six lessons. I wonder how
Speaker 4: I'm doing.
Speaker 5: Okay, you went.
Speaker 10: Wa wa, Turn.
Speaker 3: That darned thing off, geranium, Just there, Dog's gone. It
Speaker 3: seems like every time I turned the radio on, some
Speaker 3: jug head stick's tato trap into the microphone and says.
Speaker 9: Pardon me for talking in the face and reading.
Speaker 4: Okay, bro, how do you like the way I play
Speaker 4: the saxophone?
Speaker 9: Well, senor readA. I like the way you play it,
Speaker 9: but I don't like the way you hold it up
Speaker 9: to your mouth. Why, because that is what makes your music.
Speaker 11: Come on, Senorita, do you play Shashtikhovi's Tchaikowski and knock
Speaker 11: money and off shosh the coverage Chaikowski and rach money off?
Speaker 4: Now once more? Paid Rod to wash the sofa. You
Speaker 4: know it's not messing. Maxel don't like my playing neither.
Speaker 4: I asked him what he thought of my execution, and
Speaker 4: he said he was in favor of it.
Speaker 9: Send you reader. If I was here, he wouldn't talk
Speaker 9: that way. I fought any golden gloves.
Speaker 4: In the golden club. How'd you come out?
Speaker 9: Pete?
Speaker 11: First, I was in the heavyweight division of the Golden Gloves,
Speaker 11: But Pedro, you're not heavy enough.
Speaker 9: Senor reading my Golden Gloves had led in him. But
Speaker 9: you know I want three fighting in row.
Speaker 11: I fought kid Gonzales, Kid Ramires, Kid Garcia, and then
Speaker 11: I lost.
Speaker 9: What happened?
Speaker 11: They stopped giving me kids and made me fight him man.
Speaker 11: But the biggest moment of my career was when I
Speaker 11: fought Joe Lewis.
Speaker 9: Boy, did I have him? Frighten? You had Joe Royd's
Speaker 9: see he thought he killed me. Later send read I
Speaker 9: we're going on late start and.
Speaker 4: A hot t do YouTube Pedro.
Speaker 2: That reo the cases clarenadam Is Orchestra playing in Acapulco.
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Speaker 4: This Judy has a note from mister Maxwell's man next door.
Speaker 4: I see what it says.
Speaker 3: Oh says he's coming over to tighten a part of
Speaker 3: my saxophone, so I can't.
Speaker 4: Play so loud. YEA, well, what parts you go to titan?
Speaker 3: This drip around my neck. But I'll show him. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna be a great musician. Yeah, honey, maybe someday you
Speaker 3: leave and play Carnegan Hole or the metropol.
Speaker 9: Yes, miss d I heard you playing the saxophone and
Speaker 9: I've come to sign you up.
Speaker 4: Oh are you from the Metropolitan?
Speaker 9: No, I'm from Prudential.
Speaker 4: Hey, I gotta start my flac GUIDs and again. Oh gee,
Speaker 4: that wasn't very good. I better run over it again,
Speaker 4: pull it out of the street. Ray Am, I told
Speaker 4: you we're gonna have trouble with that.
Speaker 5: Man, and you read it.
Speaker 9: I don't like our neighbor, mister Maxwell.
Speaker 4: Pedro, If you don't like him, why were you playing marbles.
Speaker 10: With his kid?
Speaker 11: Well, we wasn't playing Marbora's. I had a fight with
Speaker 11: mister Maxwell and his kids was helping me pick up
Speaker 11: my ps.
Speaker 4: Well how did the fight start?
Speaker 9: Mister Maxwell dropped a bunch of leaves on my head. Off.
Speaker 4: Now, Pedro, how could a bunch of leaves hurt you?
Speaker 9: It was he leaves out of his dining room table.
Speaker 3: If mister Maxwell ever saw my boyfriend palm Roy, he
Speaker 3: wouldn't bother.
Speaker 4: That's right, Jerran palm Roy is big, isn't he?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yes, him, He's the original mister five by five palm
Speaker 3: Rod is the only man in the army who has to.
Speaker 4: Fall out in a calm of three. Well that's dobell
Speaker 4: or is it Genian? Then? Missus truck the kind of
Speaker 4: other party you ever seen? His beauty will show him
Speaker 4: in party. Count.
Speaker 9: Oh, I can't you as as as I could.
Speaker 8: My heart sum need to this guise.
Speaker 4: My brain began to.
Speaker 9: Spin, and I flew to you on their wings.
Speaker 4: Y'all go, Count, you better straighten up and fly right
Speaker 4: in here.
Speaker 9: I heard about your troubles from your aunt. I gotta
Speaker 9: Oh what a stew you are eating?
Speaker 4: What is the trouble with your neighbor? Wow? It started
Speaker 4: like this, Count, Why do you think of it? Count?
Speaker 6: It is very good cherry, but I think you have
Speaker 6: a little too much for tissimo in your modato.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's just this tight dress I'm wearing. Listener Rescount,
Speaker 4: Oh my pretty, oh little digeon?
Speaker 8: Oh shut up?
Speaker 9: That man is a cowardly can I will fight you?
Speaker 4: Might do it? Had a boy, Count, I am a
Speaker 4: duel at twenty faces, and you choose the weapons.
Speaker 9: Oh no, I will let him choose the weapons. I
Speaker 9: will choose the number of faces.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can just leave the headlines now. Man in
Speaker 3: California fights deer with town in South America.
Speaker 8: That is not true.
Speaker 4: I would gladly face death for you, then go over
Speaker 4: and face that man.
Speaker 9: But youerie that man is not dead. She read that
Speaker 9: man has insulted you in this. I cannot stand. I
Speaker 9: simply cannot stand.
Speaker 4: What are you gonna do?
Speaker 9: I'm going to lie down.
Speaker 4: Listen, Judus, what is it geranium? Or is that mister
Speaker 4: mess Well? He's run our vegetable, ruin our vegetable.
Speaker 5: How well?
Speaker 4: He has a clay pigeon that he crossed with a
Speaker 4: mud hen and it's laying bricks all over our victory guards. Judy,
Speaker 4: I content anymore this.
Speaker 7: We're going to sell this house. I'm going to call
Speaker 7: mister Golf, my real estate broker right now.
Speaker 3: Well, I all came with me at Aggie. I'll write
Speaker 3: a ad for the newspapers too. Let me see, now,
Speaker 3: eighteen room house was.
Speaker 4: Four square bathtubs.
Speaker 7: Judy Well mentioning square bathtubs helped sell the house.
Speaker 4: Why Shaw, that'll appail the people. When you take a
Speaker 4: bathroom a square bathtub, you can't.
Speaker 5: Leave a ring.
Speaker 3: Then study if we get a new house. I hope
Speaker 3: we don't get one with those modern gadgets. It's fact
Speaker 3: a white ran him well for one thing. I don't
Speaker 3: like those automatic fire sprinklers that turn on if the
Speaker 3: room gets too hot.
Speaker 4: Why not.
Speaker 3: Well, one night my boyfriend Palmero kissed me in the
Speaker 3: kitchen and before we knew it, we were swimming in
Speaker 3: three feet of water.
Speaker 2: Hey, wait a minute, has anybody seen Judy?
Speaker 8: Yeah, we saw she was in a little jukebox joint.
Speaker 1: He designed the record machine.
Speaker 10: So Judy Canova so mad she was seeing re.
Speaker 8: She'd bang on the counter.
Speaker 10: Jill the owner came over, and this is what Judy said.
Speaker 3: I come here from far up the mountains, sweet burning
Speaker 3: music too. He put my nikel in what and just
Speaker 3: listen what I got. Gimme back my nicka. We don't
Speaker 3: like that stuff of the mountains. Hain't bick Burnald you
Speaker 3: money here.
Speaker 4: I've heard beauty but no come from pigs. And then inco.
Speaker 3: Give me back my Nika, rand Pappy warny about your
Speaker 3: saidy joys. Skinny back my Nika. Oh my six shooter's
Speaker 3: only gonna shoot five time. My three turn to mountains.
Speaker 5: Nor lord Joli, harry.
Speaker 4: Me repine my bye, s peez all out all that day.
Speaker 4: HOI give me back my Nika, he co.
Speaker 3: Dingy or carousin a sports But I'll get back my neck.
Speaker 4: To take it to the Supreme court. I must return
Speaker 4: to the mountain. I know way no more shall I carry.
Speaker 5: Anyone that likes that.
Speaker 4: That should be sent to out foot tray.
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Speaker 2: a more beautiful complexion.
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Speaker 8: women with all types.
Speaker 7: Of skin, even women with dry skin, oily skin, rough skin,
Speaker 7: women as.
Speaker 12: Old as fixty, even women whose skin wasn't clear.
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Speaker 12: And for tabo shower for loveliness all over, get the
Speaker 12: new big Christy birth size Pamela.
Speaker 3: Well, Raggedy, you think the saxophone playing is improved.
Speaker 7: Well, Frankly, Judy, the timber of your vibratos proves your
Speaker 7: ambushoor is bad. You haven't enough a legro in your pizicato,
Speaker 7: and you don't sustain your crescendo.
Speaker 4: Now what does that mean in plain American? In plain American, Judy,
Speaker 4: you ain't got no small.
Speaker 3: You may tell me that I'm a square, Well, let's
Speaker 3: say you're a little on the icky size.
Speaker 4: All shock. Now, let's be fair about this thing. And Ragge,
Speaker 4: you ain't no Bobby Soycher yourself.
Speaker 7: I may never have swooned it, Frankie Sinatra. That's There
Speaker 7: have been times when I felt a little saint.
Speaker 4: Thank you radio. Do you like Frankie Sinatra singing? Oh yes, honey,
Speaker 4: mister Sinatra's singing really sends me. Sinatra sends you, Oh yes, ma'am.
Speaker 4: He may have to make two drifts, but he sends me.
Speaker 9: Good morning, Good morning, ladies.
Speaker 8: I have wonderful news.
Speaker 4: Oh with mister my real estate broker. Have you sold
Speaker 4: a house?
Speaker 8: Why yes, I sold it this morning and tomorrow.
Speaker 4: We go to Escrow Ascrow day.
Speaker 5: That's wall.
Speaker 4: Is that anywhere near Pismo Beach?
Speaker 7: Now swim myself, don't never night, whether you swim or not,
Speaker 7: we'll get away from that terrible neighbor.
Speaker 4: Have you lined this up another place?
Speaker 8: Oh, I've not only lined one up, I've bought it
Speaker 8: for you.
Speaker 4: Sly mister God back your hope.
Speaker 3: It ain't want no small Hollywood apartment, you do what well?
Speaker 3: Them Hollywood apartments is so small when you close the
Speaker 3: bedroom door of the door and now get in bed
Speaker 3: with you.
Speaker 4: And you know them brass door. And I've was on
Speaker 4: a cold night, how hard it is to buy? What
Speaker 4: is these chases?
Speaker 10: You said?
Speaker 4: Well, you know what.
Speaker 6: You Yes, there's something mysterious about it. I went to
Speaker 6: the Opa, but they referred.
Speaker 4: Me to the FBI. Well what house was that?
Speaker 9: The house on ninety second Street. Don't worry about the house.
Speaker 4: I did buy it for you, I didn't it that
Speaker 4: house on Well, Now with sola house, I can flame
Speaker 4: a saxophone.
Speaker 3: Oh why, mister Maxwell say, I thought you were a
Speaker 3: younger man, But you got white side burns.
Speaker 8: These hard side burns. I've got cotton stuff.
Speaker 3: In my ears might far greater cotton. There's some bow
Speaker 3: eavils crawling down your chin. What do you mean busting
Speaker 3: in like this?
Speaker 4: Anyhow?
Speaker 8: That's saxophone? Can't you play any other instrument?
Speaker 12: Well?
Speaker 4: I can play the split flip.
Speaker 9: Don't you mean foop?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: When I play ice pray? Yeah, killo flies. But if
Speaker 3: York can't murders the bee, where's why'm.
Speaker 8: Gonna be murdered?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 2: I'm telling you that if you think if I thought
Speaker 2: that you, if you think to say, what.
Speaker 8: Am I mad about?
Speaker 6: I forgot when I came over here to tell you,
Speaker 6: I just bought this house and I'm gonna throw you off.
Speaker 4: Do you hear that?
Speaker 5: Ad I eat?
Speaker 4: Mister Maxwell bought our house and that mass back again?
Speaker 6: Oh, come in, mister go miss Canova, about that house
Speaker 6: I bought for you. I forgot to tell you where
Speaker 6: it is. Here's the address, mister Goff, why he sold
Speaker 6: me this house? What house did you buy, Miss Canova?
Speaker 4: When we bought your house?
Speaker 8: Hey, no, we're right back where we started. What are
Speaker 8: we gonna do about it?
Speaker 4: Well, I don't know what you're gonna do about it,
Speaker 4: but I gotta get back. I'm a practice. Oh my man,
Speaker 4: that boll. We all have dreams, some of 'em good
Speaker 4: and some of 'em bad.
Speaker 5: But there's one dream we all.
Speaker 3: Share with our loved ones and the armed forces who
Speaker 3: are still overseas, the dream of the time to come
Speaker 3: and we can all be together again.
Speaker 5: I'll buy that dream. Imagine me with my head on
Speaker 5: your should and you with your lives getting ball a
Speaker 5: god who love moods and us we'd meadow to side
Speaker 5: that dream. Imagine me and a girl right and love,
Speaker 5: and you thinking that for my dolly, a church love,
Speaker 5: Oh and those last minute joy that dream, A honeymoon
Speaker 5: and Carrol and a brand new auto gyro and on
Speaker 5: my rocket and a.
Speaker 3: Weed we'll settle down in Dallas and a little plastic dalace.
Speaker 5: It's not as crazy as you think. Imagine me on
Speaker 5: our birth and a birth tree with one like you
Speaker 5: win the nurse dree. It doesn't sound bad.
Speaker 4: And if it can be had.
Speaker 10: A honeymoon carle little brand new lot garble and on
Speaker 10: my rocking.
Speaker 6: In a way.
Speaker 10: We'll settle down there, Dallas, in a little plastic power.
Speaker 8: It's not as crazy as it nay.
Speaker 5: Imagine me on a bird and a bird.
Speaker 4: One like you in the Norse. It doesn't sound And
Speaker 4: by that.
Speaker 2: This is burn Smith acting you to follow the fourteen
Speaker 2: day Palmy plan for a lovelier complexion, and don't take
Speaker 2: a chance with your romance. Use Colgate tooth powder night
Speaker 2: and morning and before every date. Good news, ladies, more
Speaker 2: points for used plats. Yes, you now get four points
Speaker 2: a pound for your used cooking fat, four instead of two.
Speaker 2: Those extra points will help you buy choice cuts of meat.
Speaker 2: Why has Uncle Sam increased the points for cooking fat.
Speaker 2: It's because there is an alarming shortage in industrial fats.
Speaker 2: So in order to hurry along wonderful peace time products,
Speaker 2: do save all the cooking fat you can if needed.
Speaker 2: In the manufacture of nylons, electric appliances, upholstery, textiles, baby
Speaker 2: carriages and hundreds of other articles. And don't forget soap
Speaker 2: requires a colossal amount of fat. You can speed up
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Speaker 2: won't you remember your butcher now pays you four cents
Speaker 2: and four points for every pound of cooking fat.
Speaker 8: Ah, here's duty, folks.
Speaker 3: It was off the nice being riddy tonight, and I
Speaker 3: hope we'll all be together again next Saturday night.
Speaker 4: In the meantime, please don't.
Speaker 3: Forget the two products that bring us together each week.
Speaker 3: I'm Holly's open Holgate tooth.
Speaker 4: Powder, the bestest in the world. This is Judy Canova
Speaker 4: from Hollywood, saying.
Speaker 3: Goo Nair, wherever you may.
Speaker 12: By hall.
Speaker 5: Longly.
Speaker 8: The Judy Canomoshaw was written by Bred Fox and Henry Hofo.
Speaker 8: This is the national broadcasting coming
Speaker 5: Boom.