Speaker 1: Well, well, well, welcome back, besties. It's your mother. Fresh
off of a flight from santro Pey. I am rested
and rejuvenated and so happy to be home. You know,
I think the best part about going on vacation is
coming home. Like I think it's so nice to see
the world, but a lot of it is just like
sitting on your phone somewhere else. And uh, I'm kind
of good on that. Like I got there and I
was so jet leg the first night, and I went
to the sea and I laid on their beach and
it was just like pebbles. It was like it was
laying on rocks. I was like, you know what, I
think I could just see this on Google street View.
I don't. I don't know if I need to be
here or come back. And then as I was laying there,
I was meditating and this homeless man came up to
me and took a greasy dump right next to my head,
and I was like, well, you know what, you don't
get that on beyond on Google street View, So maybe
I will keep coming back, keep coming back from almost
guy to shit on your fucking head. You know. No,
it was a great trip. I am. I was supposed
to stay longer, and I came home because I wanted
to go spend the Fourth of July with my dad.
So I literally got home last night at midnight. I'm
recording today and then I'm gonna go fly today at
three pm to hang out with my fashaw, and then
I'll be back in the city next week. I'll be
back in the city Sunday before this even airs. So
I hope you guys had a great Fourth of July weekend.
I hope Nunny blew your fucking hands off with fireworks.
I hope you guys are all safe and wonderful and ingratitude, babe,
because that's where we got to stay. I am so
excited for our guests today. You guys, if you're on,
if you're subbed on the Patreon, you know we're in lover.
If you're not, what are you fucking doing? Go sub
the Patreon. We're talking all the fucking shit over there.
It is one of my dearest friends in comedy. Please
welcome Dicey hight Well there, you're fun bitch. Okay, okay,
it's eleven eleven. Make a wish, Okay, you wish for
your pussy to not be so stanky.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was my wish, my wish, that was my wish.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. All right, keep an eye on my earing.
If it falls out again, I'll let you know. Start
to look busted. Just don't let me. Do you want
this peace out? Well, I guess not. It just looks unintentional.
I think it looks good.
Speaker 3: I haven't shaved under my arms nex two weeks.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, damn, it looks like coffee girls.
Speaker 4: Bye, you bitch, you bitch.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, welcome back, Bestie's. Welcome to the Talk
and Schmidt podcast. By popular demand, we have on dicey.
Speaker 3: Oh they wanted me.
Speaker 1: Oh well, after listen the girl, he's done the Patreon.
After they heard your solution to me being stuck in
that lease, Everyone's like, we love this bitch.
Speaker 3: They can't. They slapped. They slid in my DMS. A
couple of them, a couple of fans. They were like,
thank you so much. You're such a great friend to her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it is. It's the best idea we
have so far. Do you wanna do you wanna let
the rest of the world know what it is? Because
not everyone hears I'm Patreon even though you.
Speaker 3: Should be well, you know, everybody knows that you like
black men sometimes, and so I sometimes time from time
to time and stance. It's Florida where you were, you know,
and it's the relations ain't just like you know all that.
But I don't know. I don't know. I never I
never had the oh.
Speaker 1: We're not saying his name anymore. Sorry, that's okay.
Speaker 3: I never had the privilege of meeting him. But I
just feel like if you would have had a black
man on the couch that she was riding his dick,
you know, when when he walked in that, you know,
because you still have half the access to the place
right like you're on the lease still, so at least
mean you could go down there and.
Speaker 1: Just just be menting.
Speaker 3: I could just be like the house guests from hell.
Even though I'm a great house guest, you.
Speaker 1: Are a great house guys. I think there's hang on,
I'm gonna pay voice. Don't you sent me? Because everybody
really loved the voice.
Speaker 3: I don't even really remember what I said. I remember
the gist of it.
Speaker 2: We could have a whole other podcast on our voice notes,
but then we'd be canceled immediately.
Speaker 3: You know what, you should do, bitch. What you should
do is go back there a couple time times a
month and go fuck some niggas up in there, like
be having the loudest sex with some black dudes. And
I promise you he's gonna let you out of your
league's bitch, and I am. You know I'll go with you.
You know, I'll go and be sitting on the balcony
every morning when he comes out having some coffee. Bitch.
You know, I'll show up to that bagel shop. I'll go,
I'll go support his business. I'll be sitting on his balcony. Bitch.
Speaker 1: First of all, the chips in that are a paid actor.
Speaker 3: They I don't know what I was munching on. But
that's crazy.
Speaker 1: It's so funny, so funny, you're so dumb. I'm so
happy you're back. I haven't seen you in so long.
Speaker 3: Because I know, because you moved to Florida to be
a you know, to sit on wicker furniture and have
flower wallpaper and shit like a golden girl. You did that.
That was your choice. That's why we ain't seen each other.
I mean, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: You know, love is a funny. Love is a strange drug.
It'll make you do some things that you look back
and you're like, the fuck was that?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: He was cute though, he was a lot of wonderful things.
You wanted to have moved across the country if he wasn't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, So how do you feel now now that
you're out of it? Now that we're sitting in here? Beautiful?
This is some Carrie Bradshaw shit, y'all. Y'all can't see
the whole place. But this is so nice and it's
like a ten minute train ride from everything. It's amazing.
This is a great neighborhood.
Speaker 1: It's great.
Speaker 3: It's the neighborhood.
Speaker 1: It's the neighborhood.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: That's why I like it. It's the neighborhoods are always safer.
I feel great. I just got back from Santa Fe.
I just got bame from Santa Page. No, I feel good.
I'm just like, you know, it's like you can feel
so good and you can also still need to like heal, yeah,
and still need to like take care a little bit.
So that's where I'm at. I wish I was like
the kind of person that I.
Speaker 3: Used to be, more of a bitch, more of a
savage bitch, is that possible?
Speaker 1: No more of a hoe? Oh more of a hoe.
I wish I had that hoe DNA left in me,
but I just don't. I don't have that. That hoe
died a wild while ago.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think there's so many benefits to being a woe.
Speaker 3: Yeah it is. I mean I'm too old to whoe too,
but I have thought about it recently.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just think there's so many benefits of being
able to like distract yourself with someone else immediately and
like just like fuck the pain away.
Speaker 3: Growth sucks.
Speaker 1: Growth is the worst. Yeah, growing up is horrible. I
don't advise anyone do it. Yeah, So I think right
now I'm just in a recalibration stage. But I'm good.
Like my place, fucking slaps. I've never got booked comedy
more in my life than when I moved here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, people love you. And this is a comedy town.
This is a comics place. Yeah, and it's the scene
is run by comics a lot more so here than
in La right, which makes it just a little more
accessible and cool to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, Yeah, So so that's it. I'm no longer,
you know, no longer the bagel heiress.
Speaker 3: I'm so glad you you know that was the other
voice note I left you. I'm like, you're too good
to be a bagel heiress. This is not you know,
you was not everything. Bagel bitch, definitely not centniment. You're
not you don't fit into none of them, like.
Speaker 1: No, no no. I read something recently online about airport divorces.
Airport divorce which I really am interested in. So is
that and airport divorces when you're dating someone and you
go to the airport together, But people often have such
different travel styles that they really get into conflict in
the airport. Like some people are anxious and they want
to get there early. Some people are like really late
and want to be like the last person on the plane.
Some people have a little ritual they want to go
get a coffee, Like people just have different styles of flying.
And the airport divorce means you meet each other at
the gate. Everything before that is your business.
Speaker 3: I love that idea.
Speaker 1: I think it's so smart.
Speaker 3: It's so smart.
Speaker 1: I have dated both of my serious partnerships have been
anxious flyers. Nothing gives me the yick more than someone
that's scared of a plane going down or scared of
missing your flight. I'm just like, grow up. Yeah, I
get horny for turbulence. I I want to be the
last person there. I get there an hour before the
flight leaves. I know how.
Speaker 3: I've traveled with you a lot, and you really stress
me out with that hour before shit, you do. I
like to be there two hours before, even though I
have clear and all that shit, Like, I still want
to be there two hours.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So we're gonna get an airport tour us. Okay, Yeah,
and you can do your shit. You can go knit
in the fucking terminal or whatever you do.
Speaker 3: No, I just want to go smell all the candles
at duty Free and smell all the all the perfumes.
You know what I'm saying. Like I want to do
my thing. I want to I do want to get
a coffee.
Speaker 1: But don't you think that you traveled too much to
be taken all that time? Like I'm talking, there are
years of your life you're huffing candles at duty Free.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, because I flew eighty two times last year.
But I still always get there no matter what.
Speaker 1: Just to just too Yeah, of course you're gonna get there,
but you're losing time on the back end, is what
I'm saying. Yeah, like precious moments of your life. Like
if I were you and you were me, you'd be
on your way to LaGuardia right now. Yeah, for my
flight I have at three. I would yeah, I'd be
on my way three.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I see eleven twenty and we still got another
thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: It is thirty. We've got like an hour and change.
Speaker 3: You're crazy.
Speaker 1: I'll leave here at two. I'll get there at two thirty.
My flight's at three thirty.
Speaker 3: I'll be perfect from JFK or you're going to Looardia
Guardian Okay, yeah, that's cool Gardia.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I literally am. Just I got back from
San I was supposed to go to Paris this weekend.
It's the first time I've ever turned down Paris in
my life. Like I've been one hundred times. I don't
need to go again. Also, I just feel like I
have so many memories in Paris with like all these
things that didn't work.
Speaker 3: Every time I look up here in Paris. Why don't
you want to go this time? Just? Okay?
Speaker 1: I was just you know what I did the South
of France, which was so beautiful. I'd never done it before,
but I was just like, I'm good. I don't need
to go to the city.
Speaker 3: But you know, I love that you're gonna go spend
the fourth of July with your dad and two hundred
and fiftieth. Yeah, you know, year of the country, Year
of our country. I think that's cool that you'll be
there with your dad. Yeah, maybe that's more meaningful. I'm
gonna look for some free barbecue in the city.
Speaker 1: Those exist in the city, Yeah, they do.
Speaker 3: It's a lot of people that's barbecuing in Harlem. Everybody's
just gonna be on the street barbecuing. Okay, yeah, yeah,
so I might go. I love Harlem so much I
want to move back there. I'm about to move to
Brooklyn when my place is ready in a couple of weeks,
but I'm going to get back to Harlem. It's like
the it's the best mix of I've never lived around
this many black people before, first of all, and it's
the perfect mix of ignorance and excellence. I love it.
It's just the best.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you'll probably like it over there.
Speaker 1: I'm sure. I was.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can come visit me, you can come stay
with me.
Speaker 1: I can come stay high. What's going on with dating
right now? The eternal scam that is dating girl.
Speaker 3: I'm on the apps girl girl only Hinge. I don't,
I'm on the app just Hinge. And do you know
that I actually matched with one of the executives of
Hinge on him. Yeah, And we went out a couple
of times and I was like, I feel like you
are collecting data. Yeah, he just he We ended up
not talking anymore. He stops. Yeah, I was right, I
was right. I mean we matched. I've matched with some
really interesting people, you know, most mostly doctors hit me up. Yeah,
a lot of doctors, a lot of lawyers, just real
corporate people. And I'm just definitely not that you know,
and it's I don't.
Speaker 1: But I think opposites a tract sometimes.
Speaker 3: Sometimes, but not none of these times. No, not none
of these times. It's interesting though, Yeah, people, I haven't
been in the Dayton streets. And like you know, I
was married, like you for we got divorced around the
same time.
Speaker 1: Well, no, we didn't.
Speaker 3: Well, I was separated for a while because we had
we had a free divorce. See you would paid attorneys.
My ship was backed up in COVID. My shit was
backed up nothing but finally exactly. But you know, we
didn't have anything.
Speaker 1: That started and I would done with mine.
Speaker 3: Uh huh No, I think my mine's been almost three
years now so that it's been finalized.
Speaker 1: So now there was something else going on there. I
remember it because I remember being like this bitch.
Speaker 3: I just looked at my divorce decree when I went home,
did you yes first for just.
Speaker 1: To keep it holding your heart?
Speaker 3: Well, I was trying to see about my last name.
I was trying to see if I changed my name back,
and I did. I never dropped my first of all,
if I ever get married again, I'm not taking nobody's
name me either.
Speaker 1: It's a weird thing to do. It's a weird because
it's like your whole life, you have a name, yeah,
and then all of a sudden, you have a different
name because it's some fucking dude.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And then I got to pay to get it
switched back.
Speaker 1: Oh, and I mean the nightmare that is switching your
name back. Social Security car titles, well, you don't have
one of those.
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't have a car. I don't. I
haven't had one in years.
Speaker 1: But like driver's license, all that shit you have to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember when you.
Speaker 1: Came to visit me in Venice and you were super
high and you were reversing your car out of the
driveway and I.
Speaker 3: Broke your gate.
Speaker 1: You broke my gate. But not only did you break
my gate, you like knew you were hitting it and
then just kept going so slow. It was just like.
Speaker 3: I did a couple of destructive things to your to
your apart over there. I don't know why you kept
calling me to come house it because Biggie loved me.
Speaker 1: Biggie did love you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, but uh but that was fucked though.
Speaker 1: You just did it in a slow motion and it's
like you knew you were doing it, and you looked
at me and you said, the girl, it's fine. Broke
the whole gate.
Speaker 3: I broke the whole gay. I loved your place.
Speaker 1: In Venice, Oh, Venice. That was one of the best ones.
Speaker 3: It was. It was one of the best ones.
Speaker 1: Do you still talk to Chris?
Speaker 3: Yes, well, you know, he hits me up and sends
me songs and stuff. Yeah, you know, I just love
him some, Chris, and I love that you don't mind
that that he's still cool? With the people. You know,
you gotta you. It's this weird thing where you got
to pick friends and you know, not with us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love him. He will not like you know,
we have love for each other. It's like I'm I
text his friends on their birthday and like, you know,
I try and be cool with Shane fucking Shane. I
love Shane, Shane, Shane gun.
Speaker 3: You know one thing I admired about y'all is even
y'all were y'all it wasn't a bad divorce, but y'all,
you know, you had your little issues or whatever. But
white people are going to always figure out that dog custody. Okay,
y'all figured out that dog custody. You weren't talking, but
you was sharing the dog and he loved Biggie Too's.
Speaker 1: On my mantle now. He's usually on my lap during
the podcast.
Speaker 3: But Chris needs a podcast about like songs and how
just what he has the best musical ear some of
the stuff he sent me. I'm just obsessed with everything
he sent me.
Speaker 1: Chris has impeccable taste and he is the funniest person
I've ever met in my life. I told him over
and over again to start a podcast with Shane. He
just doesn't want to, but that's okay, that's up to him.
He started this is actually so crazy. So the hot
dog company that he started, it's called Gleasy. And when
I was in Santrapez, one of the girls I was
with was this lawyer and they were at like this
investment like convention where they were investing in brands, and
one of her business partners was trying to invest in
this hot dog company, and Bryce his business owner was like,
we're not interested and that, and then everyone was like, Oh,
these guys are like legit. And so now there's like
all this buzz about them in the VC world and like,
I mean, they're getting into like gas stations in the South,
they're getting into I don't know.
Speaker 3: I never post about anything.
Speaker 1: He never posts anymore. He know, he doesn't post anymore.
And one thing I will say, one thing I will
hang my hat up on, is that after a man
breaks up with me, he disappears from the.
Speaker 3: Damn. What is it about you? I make him go
at You're some kind of grim reapers, some algorithm bitch.
I can't stand you. Does he have veggie dogs?
Speaker 1: Veggie dogs?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: No, Oh, just real hot dogs, bitch.
Speaker 3: That's between him and his colon. And you know that's
ain't gotding to do with me. Yay, Chris. I loved him.
Speaker 1: We love Chris. But I will say like that was
another thing between him and I is like he was
such an anxious traveler. I really don't understand. Do you
get anxiety when you're on the plane, Like, oh, no,
it's gonna go down.
Speaker 3: Depends on how many shots of Jack I've had.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, and that's a great answer.
Speaker 3: So but usually no, yeah, you know, planes don't just
be going down.
Speaker 1: And and that's what I've been saying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I have faith in a lot of
the pilots that I always speak to them and just
let them know, Hey, I'm here, so you.
Speaker 1: Know, be cool, be cool here, So do.
Speaker 3: Your job in at thirty two et right next to
the coffee, listening to all the the gossip from the
you know, flight attendant.
Speaker 1: I was my friend Trevor was flying his plane the
other day and facetimed me while he was flying.
Speaker 3: Oh, and I.
Speaker 1: Was like, is that a thing? And he's like, yeah,
it's autopilot, Like nobody's actually flying these planes. And I
was just like, but I didn't think you could FaceTime me.
Speaker 3: Does he work for a major airliners? Okay, okay, perfect
fly private, can't great hopefully by himself?
Speaker 1: Yeah, a major airline? Like for a Spirit he picked
the old, old, defunked planes. What do you find to
know that Spirit stuff? Fuck you?
Speaker 3: I never flew Spirit. I flew Spirit like one time
when I had to because of because of the connecting,
I can't now, you know, you know I'm a cheap
ass bitch.
Speaker 1: You know That's what I've been.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm super cheat, but some things I just don't
compromise on, you know.
Speaker 1: And uh that's getting from point at point big.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's the this the last year. The craziest
air airplane story I have is a bitch was sitting
behind me. She was on the last row and I
was on the road right before the last row like
I like I do, and she started convulsed. Is it
convuls convulsing? And so I'm like and the man next
to her is like, ma'am. I'm like, it's a bitch
going down over here. Like I started yelling at that.
The flight attendants came over there and it was a
doctor I had manifested that I was going to sit
in first class unless flight. They it was no for
it was no upgrades, and so I was like, okay,
I'm gonna manifest this. I'm going I don't want to
be back here. So the doctor that was on the
plane was in first class. So he came to the
back to see what was going on, and I had
already stood up. I was up, and I was in
the middle seat. By the way, I was in the aisle.
I'm not sitting you know, no, And so he was like,
I'm so sorry, do you mind switching seats with me.
I'm just gonna have to sit next to her the
whole the rest of the flight. I'm like, where's He
was like, I'm too a up there? Oh for sure,
and the.
Speaker 1: Flight and I guess I'll do that community service, I guess.
Speaker 3: So I guess I'll do that because either way, I
wasn't sitting next to the dam bitch either way, either way,
that was not happening. So oh man, anyway.
Speaker 1: When people have medical emergencies on planes, and I know
it's not their fault, but like, god damn, get it together. Yeah,
we're gonna have a fucking grand mall seizure. When we
were loading onto a plane, she just dropped on the
fucking what's it called the jet bridge. I just walked around.
Speaker 3: You are complete trash what.
Speaker 1: I just stepped over. I was like, this is between
her and God the guy. Everyone else was figuring it
out right.
Speaker 3: They didn't need to figure into Yeah, they didn't need
another figure. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I couldn't be up there, figures.
Speaker 3: I've done with you. You can just I mean you well,
hopefully you just sent her some good vibes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did, like prayers, May God be with you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if your prayers go through good.
Speaker 1: Look I'm blocked.
Speaker 3: You're You're blacked. The Lord's said, no, wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's just, you know, I get it
at someone's life, but it's really just also my trip.
Speaker 3: Also, I'm in Paris and towers waiting for me, bitch.
Speaker 1: Yesterday I had to I had to fly from Nice
to Paris, Paris to JFK. We were twenty minutes late
leaving Nice because it's fucking mercury retrograde, so fucking of
course we were. I had from the time we touched
down to get onto the other plane, I had sixteen minutes.
We taxied for four of those minutes. I was running
like forest fucking gum. Like I was booking it through
the airport. I had to like go that you also
have to go through like passport control. Yeah, so I
was like dipping and dodging under the things. I was like,
I have to get home. I don't run like I'm
not I have bat hips, I don't do cardio. I'm
like running through this airport like talk about a medical emergency.
It was me. I get to the plane and I
was like, did I make it? She's like, yeah, You're fine.
Speaker 3: Didn't Was it delayed or no?
Speaker 1: It wasn't delayed. They fucking held it because they knew
three of us were coming, So all the other bitches
were just walking. Okay, So then it ended up being
delayed because of the other people. But I'm like, I
would have kept this bitch on time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm so glad you made it back. Me too.
Speaker 1: I would have fucked everything up. If I would have
got stuck in Paris last night and then had to
wake up get a flight home to Paris, I would
have completely missed my flight to Milwaukee today. I would
have missed all the fun plans my dad and I have,
Like I just would have missed everything. Also, I just
needed to be home and in my own bed. And
I got home and I slept like a fucking rock
last night.
Speaker 3: This bit is so cool.
Speaker 1: It's so comfy. Can we talk about sleep and how
much of a different person you are with and without it?
When I get good sleep? Literally, the first thoughts in
my head as I come online is like, my life
is so amazing. I'm so grateful, Like God is good,
Everything's wonderful. Like those are thoughts I have before I
even like wake up fully m hm, this fucking.
Speaker 3: Earring, girl, that airring is not fucking we today.
Speaker 1: Why nobody's fucking with me today?
Speaker 3: It was like your ears a loose pussy back there,
Like it's just it's just fallen out.
Speaker 1: And do some keg weights, yeah, which, by the way,
have you ever done those?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I have some. What a humbling experiences are I mean,
I really thought, I'm like, oh, yeah, I can go
to defcon, Like, I'll go to the last one. I
put it and it fell right out. I was like,
all right, we'll start a little we'll start a little
more junior.
Speaker 3: I don't need mind any tighter though. Really it's pretty tight.
That's what fucking dumb bitches say. That's what lion bitches.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the lion. That's what I was saying before
I put on up there, before I threw it up
and it fell right out my toe and I was like,
all right, I got some I got some work to do.
But what I've been doing is putting them in before
I go to pilates, because then when you're doing like
the whole body workout, you can just work the pussy
out too. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Never, this year, that's smart.
Speaker 1: This yearing doesn't want to be with me? No, I
don't want you know what this is. I don't want
anything that doesn't want me.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Good.
Speaker 1: What were we talking about before?
Speaker 3: You know, I smoked too much?
Speaker 1: You know you do smoke too much.
Speaker 3: We were talking about We weren't talking about the airport anymore. No,
we were talking about your dad. What are you doing
with your dad? What are your plans? What are you
all doing?
Speaker 1: We're gonna go to Summerfest and we're gonna watch the fireworks,
and then we're probably gonna go to the country. We're
gonna I mean, he lives in the country, so we're
gonna go back to the We're gonna go back to
the country and we're probably gonna watch some redneck shoot
off fireworks and also probably their hands and then.
Speaker 3: A bunch of taxi dermat stuff around.
Speaker 1: Yeah, mostly in my dad's house. I'm just so excited
to see my dad.
Speaker 3: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: And then that's it. I'm really annoyed because we were
on something.
Speaker 3: We were on, we were onto something, we.
Speaker 1: Were onto something rewind.
Speaker 3: Let me see if.
Speaker 1: I can go back.
Speaker 3: When the airring fell out, you were saying, I'm glad
I got back my trip. We were done talking about
the airport.
Speaker 1: Do you ever do do you ever talk to like
your your uh guardian angels and ask them for signs.
I was doing that the other day, and you know,
white feathers are assigned from guardian angels. Really like, if
you if you're like, show me, if I'm protected, show
me a white feather.
Speaker 3: Did you find some?
Speaker 1: Yeah? But it was a seagull feather, so if that counts.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean it's really it's not a lot of
white birds. Yeah, so that that does. That completely counts.
Speaker 1: Yeah. When I was at my place in Santrape, I
found a seagull feather. It was on my stairclap case
and I saw it every day and I was like.
Speaker 3: M my ancestors talk to me when I do shrooms.
Speaker 1: Okay, have you been doing shrooms lightly?
Speaker 3: Michael Dawson A little bit?
Speaker 1: You know, well some some, you know. I love.
Speaker 3: I love how white people just read brand like crack shit,
like it's microdos. It's not, you know, so I have been.
I've been listen.
Speaker 1: Are they class A drugs? Sure? Sure, well you get
a Are they a felony count if you get caught? Yeah?
But it's also of my morning routine, it is.
Speaker 3: That's part of it. No espresso and shrooms or coat. No,
I don't do cocaine, but you were talking about hard
herder drugs. I love shrooms. I like it's very introspective
and I've never had It's always been such a positive
download for me every single time. And that's when they
talk to me and they tell me stuff about myself.
Speaker 1: And they they tell you that you're a raggedy bitch.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they'd be like bitch.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: They tell me they're like, you're magical. Yeah, why don't
you access this magic? You are magic? That's what they
always they tell me. It's crazy, right.
Speaker 1: I know I'm magical magic mushrooms telling you at.
Speaker 3: Least, Yeah, that's probably what it is, just the shrooms
telling me. But I like to say it's my ancestors.
Speaker 1: I like rooms. I have not done any in a while.
Speaker 3: Because that's not part of sobriety, right.
Speaker 1: No. I wasn't sober for a while though, but I'm
I have like four weeks right now. But I don't
want to like jinx it because you never know when
I might go back.
Speaker 3: But it's not alcohol none, which is the best thing
for you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, alcohol is the one I got to stay away from. Yeah,
but you know, I just anything to get me away
from myself a little bit. I've been kind of accessing,
but then I realized with this this breakup, I'm like
I need to actually just like feel all these feelings. Unfortunately,
and I don't want to, you know, because when you're
like using anything, even if it's just like microdosing shrooms
or eat or whatever, it is like you're just pushing
everything down. It's kind of like pushing a beach ball underwater, right,
So it's like the further you push it down, the
harder it comes up and like hits you in the
face and knocks your fucking teeth out and.
Speaker 3: It should be a preacher girl. That was so good,
Like what a beach ball.
Speaker 1: But that's kind of what it is. It's like you
can push it down, push it down, and then all
of a sudden, it pops up and it hits you
in the face. And like that happened to me when
I was in Santa Pez. Like one little thing happened
that made me really uncomfortable, and I was trying to
talk about it with a friend and I just started,
like like a kid that just fell off their bike.
I was like like just like just started like sobbing
on the streets of Santa Pez. Really and I was like, Oh,
this is because I've like been pushing everything down and
I've been ignoring it. And I'm such a runner, Like
I'm such a like if I get into a situation
where I don't want to be in, I will run
for the fucking hills. But like running is just working
on adrenaline, right, so it's like I'm not processing anything.
I'm in such flight or fight or flight. Oh so yeah,
I think like when you're running off adrenaline like that,
like you don't have time to sit in process, and
I think, like everything I've been going through it's all
like traumatic, you know, like a breakup is traumatic, moving
is traumatic. Not like big t traumas, but like it's
a lot, right. And then I was like, oh, my
place isn't like settled exactly the way I want it
to be, and let me just go to the South
of France and like have fun with my girlfriends. And
then like one little thing happens that's not aligned with
how I wanted to feel, and I'm like and then
like that's when I knew I had to come home
because I was like, A, I need to like go
be with the one person that makes me feel sane,
which is my dad. Hm. He's like the most healing
person in the world to me. And then b beyond that,
when I get home, I have to like hunker down
and heal. Yeah, and that's very annoying.
Speaker 3: Well, you know a lot of taurists are avoidance. I
think that's part of y'all, part of a tourist trait. Honestly,
a lot of taurists I know, well most of my
friends are tourists. I know, for whatever reason.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think we're loyal to a fault and
then the second that it's done, we're done.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it's like we will like ride and ride and
ride and ride, but then the second the ride's over,
we're hopping off and we're never coming back to the ride. Yeah.
I don't know if it's necessarily a good thing or
a bad thing, but it is. It's just how I
deal with shit. So yeah, yeah, everything's good, though, what's
going on with you?
Speaker 3: You know, just watching my parents get older, which is crazy,
uh and interesting at the same time I'm becoming the parent.
But yeah, I've been in Dallas for a minute. Me
and my mom, I went to uh, I went home
because I was going to Maui. So that was a
really fun trip. And me and my mom just been,
oh my god, that picture of you, which one on
the chair and it looked like a walker. You make
me so sick. I hate you. And it was so
funny look like because it looked just like a walker.
And I said, this fucking bitch, can't even I've been
working so hard on my body to even post a
bikini pic and hear this bitch come like reminded me
a that I'm oldest, but and b that I just
I look like I'm on a walker. It did.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put the picture on the YouTube because it
looks like a walker. I couldn't. I couldn't pass that one.
I couldn't pass that one up.
Speaker 2: Please put that on there. That's hilarious, so funny. Do
you have that on your hinge profile?
Speaker 3: No, I didn't want to walk her. No, I don't
have that picture. And I was like, oh, oh, I
hate this bitch she's making me. Would have delete it,
but I didn't.
Speaker 1: No, don't delete it.
Speaker 3: You leave the rudest coming under my pictures. You leave.
You are so rude. I think I'm doing so good,
and then here comes Brittany best slide, Brittany.
Speaker 1: That is back slides, Brittany, that's just our friendship. Though
we're mean as fuck doing so much. But then I
don't think people get it. And then people are like,
who's this?
Speaker 3: Yeah, they don't get it. And you know, you're the
only person that i'll sleep in the bed with. Oh yeah,
you're like my only friend. Yeah. I don't even sleep
in the bed with my sister really or just like anybody.
But yeah, I don't know why.
Speaker 1: It's easy and we both sleep like we're in a tomb.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we do. Like I sleep like a mummy. Ye yeah,
all the covers everywhere, all over my mouth, all under
my head.
Speaker 1: But yeah, anyway, well you look great in a bikini.
Speaker 3: Thanks.
Speaker 1: Next time, assess the chair you're sitting on. Sure it
doesn't look like it needs tennis balls under.
Speaker 3: Shut up. I've been doing hot yoga. I've been eating
cornbread too for the last month, because my mom makes
corn bread with every single meal.
Speaker 1: Those two things are on opposite ends of the spectram. Yeah, yeah,
it's called balance it is. Yeah, I would love cornbread
and hot yoga. Hm, that would be a cornbread is
one of my favorite things in the world. Yeah, with
some soft butter.
Speaker 3: But you like all that other nasty shit though, branch
and all.
Speaker 1: The it's not on my corn bread.
Speaker 3: Well no, I know, but you know, yh you have
like you're the only person the tartar sauces like flavored mayonnaisy. Shit,
that's what you like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fucking great, all that Mill West bullshit. I know.
I can't wait to go home. I can't wait to
go home and eat sausages and like a fish filet
with extra tartar sauce.
Speaker 3: Do you eat cheese curds?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: I love those. Okay, I'll bring me some please.
Speaker 1: What's the most delusional thing you've ever believed about yourself?
Speaker 3: The most del you know what? That I need somebody
for everything? Mmm? That I don't. That I'm just not
the magic that I need, like my ant, like my
ancestors be telling me on shrooms, I always feel like
I have to partner with somebody or and and that's
really held me back these last ten years. Yeah, me
being in an unhappy marriage and that couple with just
not really believing in myself like that are always trying
to I guess, Yeah, I just feel like I need
somebody else to make it. And I really don't.
Speaker 1: Need nobody, especially not in this business, not comedy.
Speaker 3: I don't. You're a good example of that, because nobody
likes you anyway.
Speaker 1: Nobody likes me.
Speaker 3: I don't. That's just crazy to me.
Speaker 1: It's not crazy to me. I was thinking about this
the other day and I came to a couple of things. One,
I've done some bad things to people, some indefensible things,
Like people would have bad things to say about me,
and they would be right. I've always apologized, but that
doesn't erase the fact that I did the bad thing.
Two people need a villain. You know. People like to hate,
they like to group hate, and I'm easy to group hat.
I've always been easy to group hat. It's been going
on since I was in grade school, all the way
through middle school, high school. It didn't happen. It actually
did happen college, but I was so drunk I wasn't
paying attention. People didn't like me in college, but I
didn't give a fuck. Yeah, and now it's back to
the same thing where it's like it's kind of just
been a theme of my life and I just have
to be okay with it. Yeah, And that's why I'm
like more committed to solidarity than ever. Like I have
fewer friends than I've ever had in my life. Like
the friend circle is getting smaller, not bigger. And I
think I work from this wound of like people didn't
like me growing up, so I want people to like me,
and then I like let people in, and then I realize, like,
for whatever reason, this friendship is never gonna work, and
then we have some sort of you know, whether it's
just a falling out or if it just dissipates. I
just think my circle is supposed to be a lot smaller, yeah,
and I want it to be bigger because there's like
the wounded kid in me who wants so many friends
and wants so much love. But like it's it's way.
My life is much simpler when my circle is really small.
Speaker 3: Yeah, people don't really like me either. I guess that's
why we growb it. Say it's towards you too, and
I actually don't think that's true. I have a lot
of peo really don't like me.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's true.
Speaker 3: It is, I don't. It's definitely been a theme in
my life, and my ex used to always be like,
these people are not your friends. You really think you
think these people love you? They hate you for real.
Speaker 1: Jealousy's a hell of a drug.
Speaker 3: Jealousy is a hell of a drugs. But I also
didn't I don't do bad things to people like you
probably were doing. I don't really do fucked up things
to people. I don't think.
Speaker 1: I don't ever intentionally mean to do bad things to people.
I'm not going out to like hurt people's feelings or
you know whatever. I've just been an imperfect friend in
situations and I've you know, done and said things that
I wish I hadn't, but like, yeah, it's all.
Speaker 3: Part of it. The first time I met you, you
were a complete bit. I met you in Venice, of
all places.
Speaker 1: This story story is a tale.
Speaker 3: This is so true. This is not a tall tail.
It is the tallest. We were in a green room
together at the Venice Underground Show, which was one of
the dopest shows in LA at the time.
Speaker 1: I don't get.
Speaker 3: Shut up and so.
Speaker 1: Tall to us.
Speaker 3: The guy you were in there, the guy who was
doing the show, he was he just briefly introduced us
or whatever, and you were just like, Hi, just this real,
just and I said, oh, she's a bitch, but I'm
gonna just keep sucking with her anyway because that's just
what I do. So I was asking you questions and
step and you were just like, yeah, just giving like
the the shortest answers, like stop talking to me, bitch.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So why didn't you stop?
Speaker 3: Because you because I just liked I just wanted to
fuck with you.
Speaker 1: And then well, I don't like to be I don't
like to be talked to, I don't like strangers.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: You're not trying to kick in a green room the
my personality, and so don't.
Speaker 3: I just kept on going and then I did my
set and that was probably one of the best sets
I've ever had in my life to date. People were
asking me for my autograph after that, after that show,
and then here comes Brittany sliding somewhere either a DM
or like something, and she's like, you want to get sushi,
Let's uh, let's be friends or let's hang out. And
then I met you in Venice again and you told
me all about the hull bags and stuff, and I
was like, this is my soul sister right here. And
then ever since then we've just kind of been inseparable.
But that's my story and I'm sticking to a bitch.
Speaker 1: It's not the story at all. But you know me now?
Do you know me now? And you know that I
don't want a stranger talking to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I know.
Speaker 1: I have a very god I have a very guarded energy,
and that is because I've been burned so many times.
So I'm not trying to like Kiki and be like, hey,
we're going to be best friends. Like I'm like, yeah,
we're at work. You're my coworker. I don't need to.
Speaker 3: Know you're your own HR. You plan HR in this bitch. Yeah,
I don't corporate Brittany in the green room exactly.
Speaker 1: I'm yeah, not to be cunty, but just to be
just and like, this is something like everyone's told me
about me. I've had like psychics and astrologers and everyone
be like, people think you're a fucking cunt. Yeah, because
you're quiet. Yeah, but I'm quiet because you're choosy. I'm
very choosy. And I've also learned I've let a lot
of people into my life, and I've had to let
a lot of people go from my life, and I've
just learned that the return on investment is not usually
super high.
Speaker 3: I will say that you're probably my most thoughtful friend.
You're very thoughtful. She loves to leave cards and like
these expensive ass papyrus or whatever the fuck ten dollar cards.
I have all your cards that you left me, all
the messages.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: You give the best presents. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean the people that are in my life,
I love them and I want them to know that
you feel it. You also met me when I was
making a lot more money.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you had it, you did. You were corporate
Brittany then.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was corporate Brittany then. But yeah, we've been
through Yeah, we've been through a lot.
Speaker 3: We've been through divorced, death, I mean all kinds of stuff.
You were you. I met you the year after oh yeah, yeah,
you met me eighteen Yeah, the year after, and then
the year.
Speaker 1: I went back to comedy. She's the reason I went
back to comedy.
Speaker 3: She got you. You know, this is what you're doing
now full time. So mm hmmm. Yeah, I met you
post mother, and I still have. I haven't met your dad.
I met your sister. I haven't met you. That's I
still haven't met your dad. I think we I talked
to your dad or maybe you were face we were
face timing and he was there and I talked. I've
seen him. He's really a nice looking man. You got
a cute daddy, girl. I don't fuck why men, but
he is so cute.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I obviously didn't know that growing up because
I'm he's my dad, but I remember we used to
have like parties at our house and this one girl
would always be like talking to my dad a lot,
and I was like, it's whatever, like I just had
like such a pure mind. It was just like I
really did at that time in my life. I was
so pure. But I remember my ex stepmom would go
the fuck off and she would be like, your friend
is trying to fuck my husband. She's nuts, she's nuts.
Do you shut your friend?
Speaker 3: Get your little sluttie fucking friend out of here.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, first of all,
she's seventeen, my dad's forty whatever, Like that would never
happen in what world. I wasn't watching porn. I didn't
know that was a category. Just like I was like, bitch,
you're crazy. And then you're years later, after I had
gone to college. I remember I was saying to my dad.
I was like, yeah, you know, I didn't really have
any friends in high school and he's like, well, yes
you did. He's like, you know that one girl. I'm
not going to say her name, but you know that
one girl. You know when she went to college, she
called me and she tried to get me to come
up there. And I was like, okay, so you are
reinforcing the fact that I did not have any friends
in high school because no friend of mine when what
fucked my dad. Yeah, she tried to like call him
to get up there, and of course my ex stepmom
intercepted the text and went nuclear and reamed her out.
And I wondered why I had never heard from that
girl again. But that was why she tried to fuck
my dad. Yeah, she tried and failed. That's like so sad.
Speaker 3: That's so sad, but also so great of your dad
because she was eighteen at the time. You know a
lot of.
Speaker 1: People would have my dad's not a fucking dog.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, he's your dad is a nice look at man. Oh,
you know when you know when it was that I
saw him when we when we were on that boat
on Father's Day. We were on a boat in Texas
and we all facetimed our parents, oh, before we jumped
in the lake. Yeah, that's when I had thought.
Speaker 1: Is that when we were filming a special?
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, what was it?
Speaker 1: It must have been. It must have been.
Speaker 3: We've been in Austin a couple of times together though, No,
it was because we were because of who we were with.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also June it was June nineteenth. I filmed
that special. You filmed that on June teenth? Maybe I
filmed it on June teenth.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's right, because I was real mad. You know
why I was mad. I'm gonna tell this story too.
I don't know if I ever told you this. Maybe
I did. But you, Brittany ran at this really dope
airbnb in downtown Austin and did not smoke on the
balcony and you had to pay like two hundred extra
dollars or something like that. Okay, that sounds that sounds
about right. But you owed it to me because it
was June teenth, and because I came home and the
other girl who was with us was in the bed
with her dog growling on my pillow. The dog is
growling at me, and I was so pissed. I was like,
it's juneteenth and I gotta share a dog. I gotta
share a bed with a white hot and her dog.
Speaker 1: It was fine, though, bitch, I have a story for
you about that girl.
Speaker 3: Oh you don't talk to her anymore?
Speaker 1: No? No, Well, remember she was doing like all those
It was just such a walk with her. Grab she
was doing these shows because she had a friend commit suicide,
and she was like trying to like spread the word
about it. But I was like, this bitch is so fake.
That girl called her like twelve times before she killed herself,
and she didn't take one call. And then she went
on a whole tour. She went on a whole tour
acting like this is my best friend, this is Da
Da da, Like you can't, and then I was just like,
how dare you exploit a situation that I genuinely went through? Yeah,
and then she tried to book me on that tour
twice and I didn't go either time, and she got
pissed at me. And also like I had her open
for me in Austin when I was on tour and
her jokes were like my jokes. She literally like stole
half my jokes, and I was like, what in the
sam hill. If you're gonna steal jokes, that's one thing,
but don't do them on my show. I had to
like cuss her out out shorts. I was like, are
you good?
Speaker 3: Is that when y'all finally was that the final straw? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But then like even after the final straw, that was
the final straw for like our what.
Speaker 3: What does she say about taking the jokes or.
Speaker 1: She's like she's like they're kind of different. I'm like,
they're different in the way that they're different if you
were stealing a joke, like you know what I mean,
like where you're like I can tweak one or two
words to get the same punchline. And I was just like,
oh my god, the number of people who have taken
jokes for me, I fucking can't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that's crazy. Yeah, wow, I didn't. I didn't
know that part.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So we're still friends on Instagram, but we don't. I
don't communicate.
Speaker 1: I'm not you know what I stopped doing. I stopped
following people that genuinely don't fucking like I used to do,
like courtesy follows for industry people like if whatever, we've
done shows together and like whatever, there's a courtesy follow
in this industry right where it's like I'm going to
follow you because I respect your hustle and like I
see you. Yeah, I'm done with that. Yeah, I started
unfollowing anyone I don't fuck with. I'm just like, it's
not it's for me, it's not for you. I don't
need to support you in any way. I don't even
like you. H So, like if I follow you, I
fuck with you.
Speaker 3: And if I don't, Yeah, I need to clean out
my Instagram too. A lot of people stop following me.
They stop following me, A lot of people. Every time
I post, I get like ten people that follow.
Speaker 1: I wonder if it's because people are following you for
comedy and you've been doing like a lot of like
gardening and like in the need, you know what I mean, Like.
Speaker 3: You're just the ones that get the most views my
gardening video.
Speaker 1: So then maybe stop doing comedy. Ye, you're done with comedy.
Speaker 3: I don't post. I have never. I probably have two
stand up clips that I've ever posted in my life,
which is not good.
Speaker 1: That's not good at all.
Speaker 3: I need to post a lot more clips.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when it was the last time you got your ash?
Your cheeks clapped?
Speaker 3: Oh while I was in Dallas?
Speaker 1: Actually yeah recently?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Good? Have you hooked up with a white guy yet?
Speaker 3: Never. I'm taking applications. I'm open to it. It just
has to be the right white man, you know what
I'm saying. You know, I'm so pro black.
Speaker 1: I know it's crazy. We're even friends because to her
and afrig.
Speaker 3: Right, when this bitch found out y'all this she has
some African in her. She sent me her whole Dnapril,
I know her blood type everything. I am your soul sister.
That's what that was the text I got.
Speaker 1: I was like, what, bitch, No, I texted you and
can I say the Edward.
Speaker 3: Yea, yes, that's that's actually what she said. I said,
bitch out because perceptionist reality use a white house eight.
If you say it, I'm gonna knock your ass and
we can still be friends. But you gonna catch these hands.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's dainty as bird, little bird boned hand.
Speaker 3: Right, I'm such a little delicate well, all I do
is talk shit. I'm not really a fighter.
Speaker 1: I want to do a vow of celibacy.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, who are youse? Are you making these beasts that?
Were you expecting me to like join in with this
or what?
Speaker 1: No, you're not joining yet. Okay, you don't have to
do anything.
Speaker 3: How long you live your life.
Speaker 1: I think I want to do six months. I think
it'll really just like clear my mind out. I think
every time I I think that's where I get really
distracted is with sex and love stuff, and if I'm
not drinking alcohol, I think it would be really cool
for six months to just grind, focus on comedy, go
to pilate's get my body in in the best shape
of my life, get my place perfect, just like, create
a really abundant and calm space, because I have not
been abundant or calm recently. Yeah, I've been plotting.
Speaker 3: You've It's okay.
Speaker 1: I don't even recognize who I am like these past
few months. I'm just like, I don't even know this person,
Like I really am just out of my mind crazy.
I was so sane for a while and then all
of a sudden, a flip switch, and I was just like, oh,
I guess I'm nuts. Snow, Yeah, what was Florida?
Speaker 3: I know everybody in Florida's nuts.
Speaker 1: I know, and I caught I caught it. I got
palm beached, girl, I got palm beach. You know, it's
so funny. I got there. And I mean, two girlfriends
and I really love them both, but they were both
in situations where their partners are incredibly wealthy and then
they cheat. That is like, it's like the palm beaching.
It is. It is to be palm each is to
just like you have a tank carrot diamond on your
hand and you drive a fucking g wagon and you
live in it. Forty million dollar house. But that man
is fucking cheating on you.
Speaker 3: But I'm trying to figure out if I would care
if he was cheating on well.
Speaker 1: And that's the thing is they don't really because their
lives are so flush. My situation was much different. I
was in West Palm Beach, Okay, which is not not
at all Palm. Yeah, the other side of the tracks.
I was splitting rent covering bills and then also still
get it cheated. I guess here's the thing. Do we
need to redefine it? Was it ever physical cheating? Like
I would actually be interested for you guys, everyone to
weigh in, because I want to know if you think
texting someone inappropriately is cheating or if it's not. What
do you think?
Speaker 3: I think that it definitely is in your case, because
maybe not at the beginning when you're still trying to
figure somebody out, but after somebody's moved, you know, yeah,
like uprooted your hole in time her life to go
there to find that the entire time he's been talking,
it's just a matter. It's just a matter of time
till he actually acted on it. Yeah, So I think
you did the right thing. It wasn't Yeah, you did
the right thing. Did you ever meet the bitch his friend,
his own girl?
Speaker 1: No? No, And nor do I want to. And nor
do I think it's her fault, you know what I mean,
because I think it's really easy for women to want
to blame the other woman. But I don't think it's
her fault.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think it's her fault.
Speaker 1: I'm like that that behavior has nothing to do with her.
She was engaging with a person who was engaging back,
and she was getting the attention she wanted, and so
why is that her fault? It was his responsibility to
draw the boundary. He was incapable of doing that, And
it would be also one thing if it was just her.
But there was like many feelers out, you know, there
was many many feelers out. And I think too, like
being a comedian, when I'm on the road so much
and I have, you know, so much time away from home,
I need to trust that, like my home is not
going to be filled with another bitch when I leave.
Speaker 3: I feel like, you really need to be with somebody
in entertainment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you probably do, just somebody who nobody gets it.
Speaker 3: That's the thing. Like I don't even tell these men.
I'm a comic for a long time. Yeah, because it's
a turnoff. Yeah, it's a turnoff, you know, Like, just
get to know me, Get to know this tightness, these kegels,
these you know, pushups and that I've been doing. Get
to know that, get into that, and then we can
talk about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, here's the thing though, Like I don't want to
ever bury it because I'm like, if you don't have
the confidence to be okay with this career, then yeah,
you're no for me. Anyway. Let me see if anyone
has any bad advice they want from us. What do
you think of Northwest right now?
Speaker 3: First of all, I have a joke that I just
did last night. I'm like, uh, how did it go?
You know what it's like to see Blue Ivy and
Northwest get their shit together before me?
Speaker 1: Like this is in Northwest does not have her shit together.
Northwest is going through a bit of a crisis. But
Blue Ivy, Yeah, I would trade places with her tomorrow
me too.
Speaker 3: I don't I like north though. I think that she's come,
She's gonna come into her own. I think that I
don't know Beyonce's parenting style at all. She probably would
never share that with us, but I do feel like
she is a honer. She's like, Okay, no, this is
the direction that you need to go. I've already been
through all of this, this is what it is. And
she she absolutely hasn't figured out. Whereas Kim Kardashian, I
think the kind of mother that she is is just like,
I'm gonna let her figure it out. I just want
to see what both of them are like in about
ten years. That's going to be very interesting. Well.
Speaker 1: I think Kim just has a very hands off parenting style,
which can be good and bad, and I think great Now.
North is just she's just a little extreme. She's only twelve,
you know, That's the thing. I'm like, she is only
twelve to be so done up with makeup and like
overly it's kind of sexualized and wearing a corsette tup
and stuff like that. She's twelve.
Speaker 3: But she also has on like Doc Martin's and just
big ass clothes, you know what I'm saying. She's so cute.
I just love her freedom and just you know, most
bitches is getting married off by twelve, most bitches they
all over the world, all over the world. Somebody's trading
some cattle for the little thirteen year old you know
after you she I know she has her period already,
she's a grown woman.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know she could have a bad I didn't
get my period un till I was seventeen. What Yeah,
I lost my virginity before I got my period.
Speaker 3: You are real, hope I did not know this, did y'all?
Speaker 1: Hear this?
Speaker 3: This is a bona fide hole elementary pussy. You was
fucking girl. Get out of here.
Speaker 1: That's not a requirement. You don't have to have a
period before you can have sex.
Speaker 3: This is true. But okay, well that's I didn't know
that about you.
Speaker 1: Well now you do.
Speaker 3: I started my period in like eleven and a half,
damn or twelve. Yes, that's been a bloody's mess for
a long time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, we're gonna do badvice.
Speaker 3: Okay, ba advice.
Speaker 1: I've been engaged for two years and together for three.
My fiance has a low sex drive. I have a
very high sex drive, and we never have sex anymore,
or really never did. She was raised kind of sheltered.
I find myself staring at other women and have mentioned
it to her and to my therapist. What badvice. Do
you have run?
Speaker 3: Yeah, run for the hills. Sex. That's like the most
That's what you're supposed to do when you're married. That's
what you get married for, is to fuck and pro
create and you know, and obviously be there for each other.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's so important. The sex piece is so important.
I will say, like, that's why my first marriage dissolved,
like we just didn't have mine too. The sex piece
went away, and that is the foundation of it. And
sure it can ebb and flow, like your sex dribe
over time can eb and flow. But your first two
or three years you should be fucking a lot. Yeah,
it doesn't ebb or flow until you're married or like
five years in, and then it starts to wane and whatever,
because you get more comfortable and the attraction you know,
settles a little bit and it's not quite as intense.
But if you're only two years in.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you haven't put the down payment down on
the venue for the marriage, don't do it.
Speaker 1: No, don't do it. You gotta go, you gotta go.
Speaker 3: That's yes, that's my that's my advice. Just get the
fuck out of you. If you already talked to your therapist,
about it and her I'll be interested to hear what
the therapist. Yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean I think the therapists would say the same thing.
It's like, once that piece is gone, or if it's
a mismatch, that's just not your partner.
Speaker 3: It's not There's so.
Speaker 1: Many people in the world. I just don't understand why
any of us are settling. Yeah, like you just and
I guess maybe I should have, Like, I don't know,
it's just like so many people settle. But I'm like, no,
and are people going to be perfect? And is every
single thing in on the line? No, but sex has
to Yeah. Sex is so important. Yeah. Sex is was
the best part of my last relationship. It was, oh
my god, unbelievable, unbelievable. It was. It was great. He
was great in bed, He understood my body. He was like,
we were pretty much the same level of horny like
it was. It was really you gotta be equally yoked.
You gotta be equally yoked.
Speaker 3: In the sex department.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Wow. I feel bad for.
Speaker 1: Him, I know, but also you just gotta get out.
Speaker 3: But also you're not married yet. Before y'all get assets together,
you know. It was cool with my marriage because we
didn't have shit together. I didn't, you know. We just
dissolved our iTunes account. Like I'm keeping DiAngelo nee that.
These are all of my songs, all the UGK songs
as mine. I pay for all of them. We just
split up our tunes account. That's it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when.
Speaker 3: It's a bit, it's a whole less bitch. Yeah, you
have to buy people out and just all of that.
Speaker 1: It's a fucking nightmare. Oh my god. Okay, I've loved
this episode. Thank you so much. Tell everyone where they
can follow you.
Speaker 3: Oh, y'all can follow me at Dicey Approved, and please
follow me because I need ten thousand followers I still
haven't made it to ten thousand yet.
Speaker 1: That's crazy.
Speaker 3: It's crazy. I'm not trying either. I post like twice
a year, so I've been posting more, you know, but
but yeah, please follow me. I love your fans. They're
all so supportive of you, and they love you.
Speaker 1: Just like I do, the besties, And I'm so glad
you not with.
Speaker 3: That bagel nigga no more, Like come on, can you
imagine like all the cream, cheese and dough fuck that stuff.
You deserve so much more.
Speaker 1: Oh my God, it's so much more spare okay, oh
my god. Alright. I love you so much. I love
you for coming. See you later, besties,