Speaker 1: Justin Worsham is host of The Dad Podcast, joins us
Speaker 1: when he can on Wednesdays to talk about parenting and.
Speaker 2: Today this is a good one.
Speaker 3: Yes, what to.
Speaker 1: Do when your kid is dating another kid and that
Speaker 1: kid's not supposed.
Speaker 2: To be dating.
Speaker 4: I'm so glad that you guys were as fascinated as
Speaker 4: about this, because I honestly, when I found it, I
Speaker 4: was like, this is really interesting to me. But it's
Speaker 4: not the usual like data driven thing that I will
Speaker 4: come in here with. It's very much just anecdotal, real life,
Speaker 4: real life, and I don't know what I would honestly do.
Speaker 4: The example was this woman finds herself in a situation
Speaker 4: where her son is dating girl. The girl happens to
Speaker 4: be from an immigrant family, and the family is not
Speaker 4: supposed to know that she's dating, and that they think
Speaker 4: that the family thinks that she's going over to another
Speaker 4: girlfriend's house, but when she's actually going over to her
Speaker 4: boyfriend's house. I've not experienced this personally, have either of
Speaker 4: you been.
Speaker 3: I would not feel comfortable.
Speaker 1: I don't think I would feel comfort as a parent
Speaker 1: knowing my kid was dating somebody who was not supposed
Speaker 1: to be dating, that the parents didn't know, I would
Speaker 1: take it on my The onus would be on me
Speaker 1: at that point to let them know.
Speaker 4: And the challenge that they presented is that they didn't
Speaker 4: find out about this until like months into the like,
Speaker 4: so then they find out late.
Speaker 2: They didn't know the girl was forbidden from dating, correct
Speaker 2: until that had been going on.
Speaker 4: Now they have to come and like try to divulge
Speaker 4: to these people that they don't know, they don't know
Speaker 4: if English is a barrier for them, and how they
Speaker 4: can like communicate with them to say, we just found
Speaker 4: this out, Like what does that do to everything? It's
Speaker 4: also a div like if I put myself both of
Speaker 4: my sons are gentlemen, comforter not comforter Shannon.
Speaker 2: They are gentlemen, but.
Speaker 4: They are gentlemen, so I wouldn't I wouldn't worry about
Speaker 4: the daughter's like well being from an intimate standpoint, right,
Speaker 4: So that would probably be the only reason I'd be like,
Speaker 4: I'll let them work this out.
Speaker 2: But there's an interesting aspect.
Speaker 3: But under your roof, yeah, that's the thing.
Speaker 5: There's an aspect of it all. So where you have
Speaker 5: to teach your kid. First of all, you tell them
Speaker 5: I think you're playing with fire, like, not only are
Speaker 5: you going to get in trouble, you're gonna get her
Speaker 5: in trouble, and she's gonna be forbidden from ever seeing
Speaker 5: you again, and then it turns into Romeo and Juliet
Speaker 5: or whatever. Not that it ends the same way. We
Speaker 5: don't have to get into that, hope, but you also
Speaker 5: have to You have to let your kid know that
Speaker 5: it's his responsibility. I mean, I actually think it would
Speaker 5: be more his responsibility than mine as a parent. That's
Speaker 5: not to say that I wouldn't do it, because I
Speaker 5: do think that there are times when that kind of
Speaker 5: information is going to be necessary to protect the girl.
Speaker 5: I mean, there's a reason why they don't want her
Speaker 5: to date. I don't know what it is. I don't
Speaker 5: know they're thinking behind it. Nobody knows because they can't
Speaker 5: really know. Nobody can talk to them to really find out.
Speaker 5: I mean, it's also it sounds like the daughter doesn't
Speaker 5: completely comprehend or understand it. I mean, my younger son
Speaker 5: had a girlfriend about a year ago, but this was
Speaker 5: like early middle school age, like love, if you can
Speaker 5: call it that, and she was never allowed to come
Speaker 5: over because she he said that the dad couldn't know
Speaker 5: that she even had a boyfriend. And I would argue
Speaker 5: that all they ever saw each other was at school,
Speaker 5: So did she really have a boyfriend? Like, not really so,
Speaker 5: but they felt like it.
Speaker 4: To Shannon's point, she was never in my house, she
Speaker 4: was never under my roof, under my quote unquote care
Speaker 4: where I'm technically responsible for her during that time.
Speaker 2: But I would also like, I don't know, I really
Speaker 2: think that.
Speaker 4: In my opinion, I agree with the idea of using
Speaker 4: it as an opportunity to teach your kid how to
Speaker 4: handle relationships ethically, But I mean, they're so young.
Speaker 2: I think I would just play a lot. It would
Speaker 2: be a lot for a kid.
Speaker 5: But if you imagine if someone's fifteen, sixteen, seventeen years old,
Speaker 5: they're starting to play with those ideas of being adult,
Speaker 5: doing adult things, having adult conversations, that that would be
Speaker 5: one of those things that.
Speaker 2: You have to do.
Speaker 5: And and you as a as a seventeen year old,
Speaker 5: you know, it's hard to There's a lot going on,
Speaker 5: you got burning desires in places you didn't think existed before.
Speaker 5: How do you how do you then convince your kid
Speaker 5: to respect the wishes of her parents when all you
Speaker 5: want is to see them jubblees.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that's a hard the Jubbleese.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a hard word before.
Speaker 4: It's probably something that is heard of that absolutely. I
Speaker 4: mean I would argue I haven't heard of it, but
Speaker 4: I get it, you know, inherently it's the international language jubblees.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's just a guy. But how do you then?
Speaker 2: Of course, why would you have a mask? I e
Speaker 2: s Yeah.
Speaker 4: To your point, though, what I would tell my kid
Speaker 4: if that was on the table, I would say, this
Speaker 4: is definitely not the.
Speaker 2: Person have secon like. I would definitely like that was
Speaker 2: where I would intervene at least.
Speaker 1: And say that's like saying go have sex with that person.
Speaker 2: No, not to my kids, Okay, definitely not. It would
Speaker 2: not because here's the thing. Because of this, I just
Speaker 2: want to point out, he is so nice. I know,
Speaker 2: he is so nice.
Speaker 3: That's why he lets them have the comforter.
Speaker 2: And nothing happened because it was so cold in that house. Yes,
Speaker 2: the house is so cold, all right, it gets cold
Speaker 2: in the worship house that you're.
Speaker 1: Want something going on underneath the comforter. There's sex on
Speaker 1: the in the wind.
Speaker 2: No, there's no nothing at not doing that with your fingers.
Speaker 2: You two, you grow up.
Speaker 4: Somebody saved us with the news report police before I
Speaker 4: have to.
Speaker 2: If I have to start telling you guys what to do,
Speaker 2: we're in big, big trouble. But you would say to
Speaker 2: your kid, I.
Speaker 4: Would say not just because because of this story, I
Speaker 4: actually looked into it, and it's not something I knew.
Speaker 4: I always went with the common knowledge that there is
Speaker 4: nothing illegal about two underage people having come sexual sex.
Speaker 4: Actually the law begs to differ. You cannot consent to
Speaker 4: having sex if you are under the age of eighteen.
Speaker 3: That's because the law says or does.
Speaker 4: I'm not saying that, but I would like for the
Speaker 4: same reason I tell my sons, like, if a girl
Speaker 4: ever sent you a naked picture of herself, you need
Speaker 4: to immediately delete that and just tell that girl that
Speaker 4: is not my thing.
Speaker 2: When you're when you're how dare you're how dare You're
Speaker 2: saying it with a wink and a smile, though, don't
Speaker 2: you No.
Speaker 1: I tell all you can say at that moment is
Speaker 1: don't share it?
Speaker 3: No right back, that's not.
Speaker 2: How dare you?
Speaker 4: How dare you come in here Latin so condescendingly.
Speaker 3: Jumples aren't my thing.
Speaker 2: I don't think I want to do this anymore.
Speaker 5: You can make fun of her green tongue now because
Speaker 5: of this weird thing that she's we're talking about Justin Warsham, who,
Speaker 5: by the way, you'll be hearing a little bit more
Speaker 5: of on Sunday and we'll talk about that coming up.
Speaker 5: But we're talking about parenting issues specifically, and this kind
Speaker 5: of may dovetail a little bit with these relationships sometimes
Speaker 5: for in relationships that kids find themselves in and what
Speaker 5: responsibility we have his parents to let all the parties
Speaker 5: be informed about what's going on.
Speaker 2: But this one I thought was interesting.
Speaker 5: Uh, your kid comes to you and says that they're
Speaker 5: upset because they haven't had their first kiss, or they
Speaker 5: haven't had their first boyfriend, girlfriend, or whatever. They haven't
Speaker 5: had that thing yet that they think everybody else already has.
Speaker 2: And how do you assuage that or tell them that
Speaker 2: they're just slow?
Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, a late bloomer because the plight way
Speaker 4: we like to say, bless their heart like and again,
Speaker 4: I know I sound like just an idiot who has
Speaker 4: no idea what my kids are up to or doing,
Speaker 4: how they feel.
Speaker 2: Well, you're laugh big to differ. I just know Siren
Speaker 2: Song of like.
Speaker 4: Athout his kid my radio show to talk about parenting.
Speaker 2: That's the week.
Speaker 1: That I was just saying. I was laughing at the
Speaker 1: idea of an adolescent boy getting a picture that a
Speaker 1: girl sent to him of boobs or whatever and writing back,
Speaker 1: this is not my thing. I don't think that that
Speaker 1: would ever happen in the history of the world, just
Speaker 1: because of what's going on with an adolescent boy.
Speaker 3: You're right, You're right, that's all I met. I didn't
Speaker 3: mean your kids mean.
Speaker 2: She did say that.
Speaker 4: During the break, she goes that, maybe I think, and
Speaker 4: that's probably the lack of perspective that I have, because
Speaker 4: I am even this.
Speaker 2: I'm seeing like what I remember when I was in.
Speaker 4: High school is that there definitely was a pressure to buy,
Speaker 4: like I have to lose my virginity. But it didn't
Speaker 4: I didn't feel very strongly about that, but I know
Speaker 4: that it was definitely talked about a lot.
Speaker 2: And what's weird about kids today is that.
Speaker 4: If you transport teenagers in a car that they're just
Speaker 4: in the back seat, they act like it's a limo
Speaker 4: with a closed window between like they just talk like
Speaker 4: you're not even in the car, And from hearing those
Speaker 4: conversations and just the conversations I've had with other like
Speaker 4: other kids, that the number of kids that are actually
Speaker 4: having sex a teenage is very, very small compared to
Speaker 4: what I feel like it was. And I've seen data
Speaker 4: that says the same thing. That kids are waiting longer
Speaker 4: in their life to have sex, but the window from
Speaker 4: the time that they go from like we are holding
Speaker 4: hands to full blown having sex is now shortened.
Speaker 2: But I think it's also because they're older.
Speaker 1: Can I just say one last thing to put a
Speaker 1: bow in the boobs thing? Yes, is your kids are
Speaker 1: so polite? Yeah that I think that even if it
Speaker 1: wasn't their thing, they would write back something like nice or.
Speaker 2: Something fits pup.
Speaker 3: They wouldn't want her to feel bad about it.
Speaker 2: You know what, I hope to report that. I hope
Speaker 2: to report back to you next weekend.
Speaker 4: This week this I'm gonna have a I'm gonna try
Speaker 4: and have an honest conversation about what my kids would
Speaker 4: do and see why is that? No?
Speaker 2: God, I don't.
Speaker 3: I'm uncomfortable thinking about you.
Speaker 2: Feel like I'm putting them on the spot.
Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2: You have a zero problem with that, zero problem with it,
Speaker 2: and I think my kids have zero problem with you.
Speaker 1: Conversations start, I'm just gonna say anti Shannon pretty much exactly.
Speaker 2: You know what, you're the only friends too.
Speaker 4: That, by the way, that I refer or two is
Speaker 4: anti Shannon, like I, both Natalie and I have been
Speaker 4: very opposed to like Uncle Gary would never happen, but
Speaker 4: for some reason, because we went to celebrate her birthday
Speaker 4: and they learned the joys of gambling around anti Shannon.
Speaker 2: I think it's cute, and the kids think get's cute.
Speaker 2: So every once a while when.
Speaker 4: They hear your voices on the radio or like, oh
Speaker 4: is that anti Shannon like that? Well, yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 4: say do I'm going to say, what would you guys
Speaker 4: do if a girl set you naked pictures? And I'm
Speaker 4: going to say, this is not a test. I want
Speaker 4: you to be no wrong answer. And then when they
Speaker 4: say to me what I think that they're going to say,
Speaker 4: which is like I would reply back and say like, hey,
Speaker 4: that's okay, we don't have to do that, right like,
Speaker 4: because both of them have been told by me that
Speaker 4: that girls at this age, I believe feel a certain
Speaker 4: level of pressure to do things that maybe they're not
Speaker 4: comfortable in doing because they want the guy to like them,
Speaker 4: and they think that's how they get guys to like them.
Speaker 4: And I said, that is not the circumstance that you
Speaker 4: want to experience these things. You want to experience them
Speaker 4: in way that both people are equally as passionate, for
Speaker 4: lack of a better word, or maybe the best word,
Speaker 4: into what has actually happened.
Speaker 1: Right, Yes, that is excellent. That's a really good point
Speaker 1: to make to them. I hope that you do not
Speaker 1: want like that where the girl thinks that she has Yes.
Speaker 4: Nobody wants to have sex make love with somebody who
Speaker 4: is very nervous and like afraid, like you want them
Speaker 4: to be very comfortable and relaxed and also into it.
Speaker 2: And I said, so until you.
Speaker 4: Really like I don't know why I sait it this way,
Speaker 4: but I said, until you get married.
Speaker 2: They drive the ship.
Speaker 4: The lady always drives the ship, and every time the
Speaker 4: lady decides to level it up, I go. My advice
Speaker 4: is you always say, hey, I'm I'm totally down to
Speaker 4: do this.
Speaker 2: But I just want you to know we don't have
Speaker 2: to do this for me to like you.
Speaker 3: How does that change when you get married.
Speaker 2: I feel like everybody should be into it, Like, but
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 3: What I mean, Like you want to do your weird stuff.
Speaker 3: She should be down kind of.
Speaker 2: I mean, not that you want to a first or change.
Speaker 4: Just loves to give you shovels to dig yourself a grave.
Speaker 2: She just loves it. Even when you She's gonna glance
Speaker 2: over it. She goes, Wait, wait, let's circle back over
Speaker 2: the year. You've got your shovel. You forgot your.
Speaker 4: Shovel, speaking of which I guess, So this week in
Speaker 4: my own sand Boston shovel Sunday.
Speaker 3: I'm excited for this. I'm super excited.
Speaker 2: Okay, so tell me, so what's coming up on Sunday
Speaker 2: Sunday two to four.
Speaker 4: They are I'm auditioning for on Sunday April sixth and
Speaker 4: Sunday April thirteenth, from two to four that you could
Speaker 4: listen to on your radio dial or on the iHeart
Speaker 4: app uh.
Speaker 2: And I'm going to be doing a show about real estate.
Speaker 4: So right out of the gates, what we're going to
Speaker 4: be talking about is how the commissions have changed within
Speaker 4: the last year and how agents get paid in California.
Speaker 4: I'm also going to talk about what I think the
Speaker 4: impact of the fires are going to have on the
Speaker 4: real estate market. Give you some projections, and then backfill
Speaker 4: from there with other topics that I think are interested.
Speaker 2: And you've been an agent for a while now. For
Speaker 2: a while, I've been.
Speaker 4: I've had my license since twenty thirteen and been adjacent
Speaker 4: to real estate, became a full time agent in twenty
Speaker 4: eighteen and a full broker owner in twenty twenty one one.
Speaker 3: And I must say I've worked with you. I am oh,
Speaker 3: thank you, And you're fantastic.
Speaker 4: I believe I'm in the top six percent of all
Speaker 4: real fantastic.
Speaker 1: I would not go to anybody else ever. Sunday from
Speaker 1: two to four.
Speaker 4: Sunday from two to four. Please tune in. You can
Speaker 4: send it. Use the talk back to send. We're going
Speaker 4: to talk. We also want to hear horror stories, but
Speaker 4: I want to hear also if you have questions about people.
Speaker 4: In fact, if you want to just google my name,
Speaker 4: it's easy to find my emails.
Speaker 2: Send me a question.
Speaker 1: If my husband was so impressed with with what you did,
Speaker 1: he he sent you pictures of his boobs and.
Speaker 4: I appreciated it, but I said, that is not my thing, right,
Speaker 4: you know, I said, thank you.
Speaker 5: He didn't need to do that to be friends with
Speaker 5: you friends, but he wanted to.
Speaker 4: And that that's why I was and that's why I reciprocated.
Speaker 4: I gave him my jumblesday talking. But you can get
Speaker 4: jubilacious about the jubblees. That's definitely a thing.
Speaker 2: You can have a jubbly jubilee. Oh but if everybody
Speaker 2: only everybody's into it. Of course, if it's your thing,
Speaker 2: consent is important.
Speaker 5: Guys, Sunday from two to four, Justin and the Real
Speaker 5: Estate Show.
Speaker 2: Good luck, good luck.
Speaker 3: All right, Wait, I'm really excited.
Speaker 2: It's a lifelong dream.
Speaker 4: This is a childhood dream mine, and I appreciate everybody
Speaker 4: for giving me the opportunity.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 3: It's a fun because how could it not be with Justin?
Speaker 4: I hope, So thank you, guys, because I really, honestly,
Speaker 4: this would not happen if it weren't for you, guys.
Speaker 3: I mean it's not true.
Speaker 2: Well it's true. I'm going to send you a picture
Speaker 2: of my job