Speaker 1: That's impossible. Let me tell you what I believe. It's
your weakness, it's not your technique. Don't think you know.
Speaker 2: The Impossible Life Podcast and yes, sitting on a winning lottery.
Speaker 1: Second, an idea that is fully formed, fully understood, that sticks.
Speaker 3: This is the Impossible Life Podcast because Nick and I
are attempting to live impossible lives. What we know is
that nothing is impossible. So instead of using impossible as
an excuse to not try, we'll use the pursuit of
impossible as an accelerant for greatness. If something's never been
done before, that just means it's unexplored. If they tell
you it's too hard, it's just waiting to be simplified.
Impossible as a default label used by uncourageous people unwilling
to take a risk. The real truth is this. The
solution to any impossible task starts with this question, if
I had to, what would it take? What would it take?
Speaker 2: Welcome to another episode of the Impossible Life Podcast. I'm
your co host, Nick Surface, and I'm looking across at
a man who is actually one hundred and fifty of himself.
That's right, friends, Garrett Ackback, a man whose very presence
multiplies those around him.
Speaker 1: Look that you defy the laws of math by your
very presence.
Speaker 3: You can't you can't break the rules of math, but
you can bend them well. And we talk about through
like alignment is one of those things that we talked
about is a multiplier versus edition. And relationships in your
life are not meant to be a burden. They're not
meant to just be a plus one for you, but
they're meant to be a times two times three times
two for Youationship should be multipliers. And so thank you
for that compliment, because I want to be a multiplier
to the people that I'm in their life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I do want people to capture that. By
the way, you know, I'm going through the thirty Day
Discipline challenge. My wife was shocked to find that I
did not do the challenge that when we were writing it.
Speaker 1: So she's like, it's your first time through.
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's my first time going through the actual
challenge in this form. The one we wrote previously was
much harder, and this one, I will say, this one
is still challenging, especially if you do it with a
group of men like I'm doing it, and you of
course compete with each other and push each other way further.
But you said something because I'm getting to listen to
all our old podcasts and really get to appreciate them
more as because you know, I've forgotten a lot of
the ones that we've done. And you said something on
there about your thoughts are either division or multiplication, and
I just thought that was so good because it really
is so true. So catch what I just said about Garrett.
It was a compliment, but it was also a lesson
for all of us. I mean, when you're going into something,
is the way you think is the way you act,
multiplying the situation and making it greater? Are you one
of these people that comes in and divides? Be a
whole lesson itself. Unfortunately, we have plenty of podcasts to
talk about.
Speaker 3: You know, my dad, my dad give me this one
all the time when I was young. I don't hear
him say it as much anymore, but he said this
a lot when I was young. He say, Son, there's
two types of people. You're the type of person that
when you enter a room, everyone says, yay, Garrett's here.
Or you're the type of person that when you enter
the room, everybody says, ah, crap, Garrett's here. Yeah, you
are either and it's your thoughts. Those thoughts become who
you are, become your attitude, and then in every room
you're either division or your multiplication. And so today we're
going to talk about not just how you become that way,
but what are some of the specific relationships in your
life where you need to have these relationships and be
a multiplier in these relationships.
Speaker 2: Yeah, these are three relationships that are absolute must for
any person to continue to grow, mature and like advance
the kingdom. Like these are must for kingdom advancement. So
this is the concept of the three, which in our
parts is i would say somewhat well known, but not
necessarily as deeply dove dive. B.
Speaker 1: This is one of.
Speaker 3: Those ones, Nick, is one of those ones where people like, oh, yeah,
I know that, but they don't do it correct. Right.
If you if you're in our tribe, you know this,
but it's if it needs to be something that you
truly live, that you do and because it's it's it's
actually this is actually one of the requirements for the
Mighty Men path, which is fun to be talking about
it on the podcast today. But this is for every
person out there. You need to have these relationships in
your life. One of the uh you know core Man
masculinity scriptures, which honestly, if you were like your typical
male and I'm not knocking anyone else's podcast, but your
typic male masculinity podcast probably uses this scripture way more
than we do because it's an incredible it's an incredible scripture.
I think we just touch on other things. But Proverbs
twenty seven to seventeen, as iron sharpens iron, so one
man sharpens in. That's what we're called to do. Right,
Like meant, you're not meant to have relationships in your
life that don't make you better. I want to be
someone who makes other people better. And that's who I
want in my life. Nick knows this. If you're not
if you don't like sharpen me, strengthen me. I'm not
mean about it, I just become unavailable. I want to
be my best. I want to be my best for God.
I want to become everything God's created me to be.
And I know I know for me personally, I can't
do that unless I seek out to have great people
around me. And that's why, you know, one of the
first things I did coming out of the Navy, I
didn't say, like, I got it all figured out. Now,
time to go do my own thing. One of the
first decisions I made coming out of the Navy wasn't
you know it's just a big transition. I'm coming back home.
It's been a long time since I lived here. One
of the first things I said was where are the
other men at I need to go get with a
men's group. And that's where I just joined a few
guys at a barbecue joint who are reading books. And
I said, is this where the men are gathering? I
need to be around other strong men.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And that's so crucial man, just to have that understanding.
I think sometimes people will feel like it's weak if
they need other people. But the very fabric of your
design is that it's not good for men to be alone.
And we won one hundred percent need these people. I mean,
you said, relationships are how we're supposed to grow, right.
It's It's the biggest part of discipleship is relationship. It's
I think it's always interesting to see how Jesus' relationship
with the disciples grew and it became warmer, and how
they grew and developed and changed. When you look at
like the course of their three years together, well and.
Speaker 3: Look at Jesus's life, what was distinct versus what was default,
what was normal was that Jesus was with people. There
was a special there were special times where Jesus went
away to be alone, right. Every other time he was
with people, right. And that's what the majority of our
life is. The majority of our life is. We're meant
to be with people. One of the first things God
said to Adam, it's not good that you're alone. Right,
We're meant to have a spouse, and we're meant to
have some of these horror relationships. So let's just jump
into it, Nick, what are some of the key relationships.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so this is a template in the Bible. It's basically,
you get the three. You have a Paul, you have
a Barnabas, and you have a Timothy. And we're going
to break down what each of those people are, how
to identify them and if you can't find one, the
potential problems that you're tackling. So very first, one with Paul,
this is someone who mentors you. This is a father
in the faith. And one Corinthians four fifteen is where
you see Paul talking about this, and keep in mind
he's talking to an immature church in Corinthians where they
were doing all sorts of stuff and getting it wrong.
But what he says, he said, even if you had
ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers.
For in Christ, Genius I became your father through the gospel.
Is that's a big statement. And I think you could
probably spend a lot of time just diving between the
difference between a guardian and a father.
Speaker 1: Gee.
Speaker 2: But really the point is that you have somebody that's
kind of bringing you along, right, they're giving you guidance.
Speaker 3: I think all of these of the three that we're
going to talk about today, they're all challenging in their
own way, and we're gonna we're going to touch some
of those pieces. A poll for I think for most people,
it's not a challenge to think that they should have
a poll in their life. It's a mentor, right, yeah,
we need, we need And that's and that's what the
scripture that Nick Road Nick read. Paul said, we have
many teachers, but few fathers. Right, fathers are more than instructors.
They're meant to speak into us. They're meant to develop us,
They're meant to correct us, to guide us, to love
us even right, that's not And we have another great podcast,
another great episode that talks about the difference between mentors
and teachers. Who you can learn from and who who
you should follow. There's a lot of people you can
learn from. There's a lot of those people on social media.
Hey take a lesson from a guy that knows a
little bit about real estate. That doesn't mean you you
replicate your life after his. But a pall is someone
who loves you, who speaks into you, who guides you.
I don't think this is one that people are saying
like I don't need that, right right? I think I
think the challenge with a pall is how to find
one and who is who is going to be a
pall to me? If you're really blessed, you'll get a
pall that labors with you, not just spiritually, but in
your daily walk, in your daily life. It's like, if
you're a real estate guy, you'd be very blessed if
you had someone who is a spiritual pall to you
and is also in real estate with you. Right, someone
who's like a life mentor to you and a spiritual
mentor to you. That'd be a huge blessing that that's
the rarity. Okay, don't have that expectation. What you need
is it like you could go get mentors in your business. Excellent,
and it's also great if the person who spiritually mentors
you has some business acumen, wonderful. But what you primarily
need is you need someone who they can have never
run a business in their life, and that's totally okay,
but they can be a spiritual Pall to you who's
correcting you, someone who's guiding you. And if someone's a
spiritual Paul in your life, they've got some wisdom. You
can talk to them about whatever. And they're not going
to talk to you from like, well, here's my specific
experience with that. They're going to talk to you from
the standpoint of here's what the Word of God says,
follow me as I follow Christ. Right, And when Paul
says this, follow me as I follow Christ, Paul's also
saying like, hey, I'm out here. Paul's labor was I'm
going to deliver the gospel to as many people as possible.
And so you're going to find a Paul who It's like, Man,
I want to be like this person. Maybe I don't
necessarily want the same job that they had, right, but
I want to be like this person. I want to
live the way that they do. I want to think
the way that they do. That's a primary for me.
That's a primary of a person that I'm selecting as
a Paul is how does this person think?
Speaker 1: I want to think like them? Yeah, and you see
that in scripture.
Speaker 2: By the way, that episode that you mentioned, which I
constantly think is we broke it down very clearly as
far as who's a mentor of was a teacher and
all that. It's episode one forty five. So if if
you're lacking any of these relationships, really go listen to that.
Speaker 3: And that episode references the three and so yeah, you know, yeah,
here we are, one hundred.
Speaker 1: Here we are we wanted to get.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we want to give the tool because it's a
bit different to just mention it as opposed to really
break it down. But we see this with Paul, and
you said that it's somebody who's a spiritual mentor only
follow me as I follow Christ. And that was very
very much Timothy where he like where he was he
was a spiritual followed to him, and yes he got
in the work of him, but they did not share
the same trade. What's so interesting is in Corinthians, Priscilla
and Aquila were fellow or Quila, however, you say that
they were fellow tent makers with Paul, which is exactly
what you're saying. It could be someone that has the
same professionals that's going like, hey, here's how you here's
how you walk this through godly. I thought it was
so interesting when we were with John Leavere and he
was talking about how he would do church if he
was pastoring a church, and he mentioned how he would find,
as he referred to them, giants in each of their areas,
and he would then give them their heart because he
knew if they could go out and influence. In this case,
he used the example of like the education industry, because
he had someone that was an example of this. If
they could have his heart and be excellent what they did,
they could reach tons of people with the gospel and
then have those people become disciples in that industry. So
I think that you can sleep on this and make
Paul only somebody that's like, oh, they have to be
at my church and they have to be a minister
and they have to be No. This can this can
be somebody who's in your arena, whatever that may be,
and is running after Jesus whole. Hardly that can bring
you and say hey, here's how you do this the
Kingdom way. So if you're if you're finding like, gee,
what would you say to somebody if they're like, oh, man,
I can't there's no mentors for me.
Speaker 1: Man I've tried this.
Speaker 3: Nothing for me. I think that's the challenge for many
around this one. Not that they need one, but people say, well,
I can't. I don't have a mentor in my church.
I don't have a mentor my business or whatever. I
would tell you one. You need to get into right
You need to get into the right tribes. You need
to get into the right groups. If you're not a
part of a tribe, you're not going to find anybody
to mentor. Our mentor is not going to come to
your house and say, you know, hey, God sent me
to come be your leader. It's just not going to
work that way. You need to be in a group.
You need to Like I've talked about this from my
perspective of who are the people that I look for?
And I would flip this back on anyone who wants
to be mentored. Right, the people that I look for
is humble and hungry. Are you teachable? And how bad
do you really want it? And I think a lot
of people think they're both of those things. But when
you are both of those things, mentors and teachers will
find will find you. Mentors and fathers will find you.
So I would say, one be mentorible. Be someone who's
like man that like that is a great piece of
metal right there. I'd love to help shape that person.
And not that I'm a poll in Nick's life. Nick
is a Barnabas for me, but a lot of our
relationships started that way where I had desire to help
shape Nick as I said, this guy really wants it,
and he listens, Okay, let's go, let's go for it.
Let's see what he's got.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: People who have something to give you, when you have
a bucket, they'll into you. But when you know, when
you're a paper towel trying to soak up a five
gallon bucket of water, people aren't going to spend that
much time on you because they know what it'll do
to you. You're not ready for it. So I would say,
be mentorible and then be in the right rooms, be
in the right groups of people, and you're going to
find that person. Just one caveat on that is, don't
expect a Paul to be your dad. Yeah, but I'm
not saying your dad can't be a pall to you.
That's something I'm saying. I'm saying, do not put the
weight on a mentor in your life that they're supposed
to be your father. Okay, there's a way, especially for
men who didn't have a great father, it's difficult, right,
And there can be this father void, this father emptiness
in someone's life. And if you put the expectation on
them that they're going to treat you like their own son,
you're going to be disappointed. That doesn't mean that there
won't be some father son like times. And Paul even
talked about that with Timothy right one of Paul's reflections,
if Timothy was like a son follows a father, Timothy
has followed after for me and the gospel, Paul talks
about that, But just don't have the expectation that this
guy's going to feel the same way about you that
he might feel about his children.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because what does a what does a father do
with his kids? He always seeks them out. And that's
the thing is you very well are going to have
to humble yourself to seek this person out like you can't.
I think everybody wants to be sat there and have
someone go like, Wow, you're such a great You're such
a great piece of metal.
Speaker 1: I want to mold you.
Speaker 3: A good dad is gonna is going to kick you,
even if you're saying I don't I don't want to
be great, I don't want to do this right. If
you act that way with your mentor, he's probably gonna
not have a lot of time for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, probably Like okay, good for you.
Speaker 2: All right, gee let's go to Barnabas then, because Barnabas
and I uh, this is a brother you run with. Man.
This is the guy that when you're going through tough times,
they remind you of your purpose their mind, They encourage
you on the plan the path. This this is a
friend who really knows you, like somebody who knows who
you are at your core. And you see this in
Acts nine to twenty seven, it says, but Barnabas. Now,
think about this, Saul has just become Paul as we
like to say it in Christian circles, even though that's
a whole other thing with names based on the culture
of the times. They would use it in different places.
But he's had this radical conversion. Everyone's going like, hey,
this guy killed some people. Don't think we're really going
to welcome him here in Acts nine twenty seven. But
Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. Let's
take him straight to the leaders of this church. Like,
wouldn't that be a great kill? He could eliminate the
whole thing. But Barnabas sees who he is. He told
them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord,
and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how
in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus.
Speaker 3: That scripture speaks exactly to what a Barnabas is. Okay,
here's what a Barnabas is as a brother. It's someone
who knows who you are. Right, Barnabas saw who Saul was.
He could see who he was, and so even where
other people doubted, Saul dragged Barnabas for or Barnabas dragged
Saul forward said, I know who this man is. And
that doesn't mean that you know Barnabas is someone who's
always walking around promoting you. What it does mean is
that this is a man who sees who you are.
You need what a what a Barnabas is going to be.
They can't be the foundation of your identity, right And
where you're going to struggle to find a Barnabas is
if I really find true brothers, is where you're looking
for people to tell you.
Speaker 1: Who you are.
Speaker 3: No, they need to see they need to see who
you are. You have to know who you are, right
and what the end? Then what that Barnabas is is
someone who's on the same mission as you. Man when
I when they see who you are, they see what
you're after. They want to run with you. They want
to sharpen your iron, they want to stand with you.
They want to strengthen you, they want to encourage you.
They're going to steady you. Those are all things that
a brother is supposed to be, right, But again, this
is a brother is born for battle. These are brothers
who are on the same battle with you and see
you fighting for the same things as them, and just
like you're going to do in the battlefield. Right if
my if my teammate need is out of water and
need some water, I'm happy to share with him. But
that's that's a guy who's my brother. That's a guy
who's fighting with me that I see his and I'm
happy to give to him or to serve him. But
you need the people in your life that'll fight with you.
But when they see you as when they see you
as a warrior on the same journey as them. So
that's really the core thing about a Barnabas is someone
who sees who you are, not someone who's going to
like If you're looking for a Barnabas to affirm you,
to tell you who you are, if you've got a
lot of insecurity or you've got a lot of pride,
you're going to have a hard time finding a Barnabas.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the obvious things here, Argie, I find that
the Barnabas relationships, they're going to require time and proximity, right,
And that sounds really obvious, But you know, with all
these things, you don't just go and acquire them in
a day, because you listen to this podcast, like you
really have to. With all my Barnabases. Even with our relationship,
there's an there's a foundational element of like you just
grow closer because you're you're around each other, you do
things together, you spend time, and so it's you know,
how someone going to know who you are if they
haven't seen you in various arenas, right, So it's just
a very obvious thing.
Speaker 3: You can know. It doesn't every friend that you have.
You can have friends who like you. You can have
friends who've been your friends for a long time. Doesn't
mean they're a Barnabas. This is someone a Barnabas who's
someone who's in the same fight as you, Yes, who
will strengthen you when you need it, and where people
struggle to have a Barnabas or like, well, I don't
have anybody you know that can be that for me.
That's really two things. It is one, you're making it
about you. There's a pride element to that. I could have,
you know, said hey, there's nobody here that's doing what
I'm doing, and I could have out of my pride,
I could have zero great men in my life who
helped me, who strengthened me. I don't need you to
be like me. I need you to be like you are.
Let's fight this battle together. Pride will will tell you
there's no equal to you, and that'll ruin people from
being able to have a Barnabas. But the other thing
that eats you up as in having a true brother
is that insecurity, Like I said, a Barnabas will see
who you are. But it's not the barnabases job. A
father is going to help tell you who you are,
right right, and if certain types of Paul's can help
tell you who you are, a barnabasiness job is to
see who you are and out of insecurity. If you
have a lot of insecurity, if you don't know who
you are, that's a major lack of authenticity. And that's
where you can have friends, people who you like to
hang out with, but they don't know who you are
because you don't even know who you are.
Speaker 1: Very good man, Really capture that, man.
Speaker 2: I feel like I always like trying to highlight when
you say things you said, A Paul will tell you
who you are, but a Barnabas will see who you are.
Speaker 3: Man.
Speaker 1: That's that's good, all right?
Speaker 2: Gee, let's let's go on to Timothy, because Timothy, and
think about it. Think about how this works. You get
poured into by your by your Paul. You kind of
like pour into each other's cups to fill to overflow
with a Barnabas. And then the Timothy is someone you mentored,
someone you pour into, and the Timothy lesson is it's
a reminder. I think this is one of the greatest lessons.
It's a reminder that's not about you, because you've said
this to me and it's something I took seriously from
day one. Is that you get to carry another man's
soul and you understand what true accountability and responsibility to
God is. Because this is not something we can play.
We'll forget that guy like once you once you've taken
this on, it's like, man, I have to answer to God.
This is not about me being fair or living up
to an expectation of whatever definition of friendship. This is
about accountability to God. And we see this in Firs.
Timothy twenty through twenty two. This is this is Paul
literally talking about Timothy, how he identified his Timothy. I
have no one else like him who will show genuine
concern for your welfare. For everyone looks out for their
own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. But you know
that Timothy has proved himself because as a son with
his father, he has served with me in the work
of the Gospel.
Speaker 3: One of the things about relationships, Okay, this is true
of all relationships, and let me tell you how they're true.
In these three relationships are mirrors for you. There are reflections.
You can see yourself in a relationship. Right, You want
to know who you are. Get married, you'll find out.
Speaker 1: Who you are a man.
Speaker 3: You may think every man thinks he's something. He gets
married and you realize who you are. So every relationship
is a reflection. Reflections are meant to be really good reminders, right,
And I didn't hit this for the others, so I
want to hit it for Timothy. Well, each relationship is
a reflection for you, and it's a reminder of something.
Paul's a Paul in your life is going to remind
you of the stuff you don't want to hear. What
you know is right, right, Like, you're not doing this,
You're supposed to be doing this. He's a good father,
he's a good teacher. He's going to remind you of
the right instruction, of the right obedience, keep doing what
you know to do right. That's what a Paul is
going to remind you of. That's the reflection you're going
to get from a poll. A Barnabas will then won't
tell you who you are, but they will help remind
you who you are. They'll remind you of the journey
that you're on. They'll remind you of because they're right
there in the middle of it with you, and sometimes
where you can't see the horizon, you're looking at the ground,
A Barnabas is going to help remind you of that.
What a Timothy does is a Timothy is meant to
remind you of that. It's not about you right, the
same way I can say for my own life Luke
twelve forty eight. To who much is given, much is required.
Garrett is who he is because so many men have
poured into me and built me.
Speaker 1: I didn't build this by.
Speaker 3: Myself, and what that puts on me is an expectation
to do the same. And where I get the opportunity
to pour into other people or to help other people,
it's one of the great privileges of my life. Just
to get to do this podcast and to share with
people and at least be a voice to people that
I don't have the opportunity to be a Timothy to.
But what it reminds me of is that my life
is not about me, right. This is the multiplication element.
As you get older in life, you want to look
at some of your real fruit. It's your children and
your Timothy's. When you're an old man, you're not going
to say, look at that thing that I built that
will crumble.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: What you can point to as an old man is say,
look at the children that I raised, Look at the
men that I discipled who are out there building other people.
Nothing I built is going to build anything else, right,
that's addition. But the people that I've poured into those
are my multipliers. I'm not responsible for, Like I don't
own these people, the people that I'm a Paul to
them that they're a Timothy for me. They're accountable to God.
But God has given me the opportunity to be a
voice in their life, to be a strength in their life,
to help show them who they are, help get them
on the right path. And when you live that way,
it corrects you in all these other areas of your life,
just like having children will center you in life. If
you're not honestly, I don't know how else to say it,
but if you're just not a loser, if you love
your children and you pour into them and develop them,
it's like, man, that's what life is about. I'm here
to help develop these people. This is one of the
greatest responsibilities that God's given me. When you have a
Timothy and you see it that way, it straightens you
out in all these other areas where people will miss it.
With a Timothy is you're not looking for somebody to
serve you. You are looking for a servant's heart, right. And
Paul saw this in Timothy, and Paul had to remind people.
It's like, you, guys, look at Timothy as the guy
carries my bag. Paul says, Timothy stands in my shoes
when I'm not here, right, And so Paul looked for
the servant's heart. But Paul also looked for this is
a man that when I'm not here, he's going to
carry my weight. And so if you're just looking for
someone who's going to help you, you've got a very
wrong attitude about what a Timothy is yes, they do
need to pursue you, but that the pursue you test
of a Timothy is really just to show how much
they want it. Right, you have to return that the
same way that like a son loves his father differently
than a father loves the son. But the weight of
those is not is the weight of those is equal.
It's just different substance. Right, You've got to give back
to Timothy everything that they're given to you. It's just
a different form of pursuit from each person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so guys really capture what we said. I hope
you realize that like so many people that are looking
to advance and grow, and I think that those are
the people that listen to this podcast, they always think
about what about what their opportunity is, And what I
always say is it's going to be a who, not
a what.
Speaker 1: We've just given you the template.
Speaker 2: For greatness, truly for the greatness and relationships that you
need a Paul, you need a Barnabas, you need a Timothy.
Go back and listen to this again, Meditate on it,
marinate on scripture, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal it
to you, and then go out and be somebody's Paul.
Find your Barnabas, be there, Barnabas, be somebody's Timothy. Like.
Understand that these roles. You can be in multiple roles
at one time, but just know that God made us
to be in relationship. The iron will sharp and iron.
That's the way you're going to grow. That's the way
you're going to develop and be disciple. That's because that's
the way God designed it. Thank you very much for listening. Guys,
remember to share, like subscribe. If you think that this
would be something that someone would enjoy it, please send
it to them.
Speaker 1: We appreciate it all.
Speaker 2: If you want to get in touch, you can follow
us on Instagram at the Impossible Life. You'll find us
on there. You can also email at Impossible Life Podcasts
at gmail dot com if you have any questions. If
you want to get some touch and find out about parrots,
personal or business coaching, that's the way to do it.
Thank you again for listening. Go out there and think
better and live the impossible to see again sooner.