Speaker 1: They want Amanda to share her heart, and she says,
the problem with you, guys is that I have shared
my heart. I've told you about Manifestation. I've told you
about the retention rates. I've told you about the portals
that we use for the comment boards. And everyone is
Sutton goes, babe, babe, see that's what we're talking about.
Talk about your children, okay, and then Amanda starts talking
about our kids and how they're fucking losers and they
don't make any money. And they go, oh, actually, you
know what, let's just move on. Hey, bitches now, I
don't want to do it like that. Yeah, but we
did it like that. It's bad TV. I'm Dylan. That's
Pat Ruby is calling in from Parts Unknown.
Speaker 2: Hi, jel Hi Pat.
Speaker 3: How are you great to be here?
Speaker 1: Caitlin, Oh, the gang is here. We're here to talk
about the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Before we get
into that, The Real Housewives of Rhode Island will be
a Patreon dot com slash another podcast network coming up
very soon. I am a little concerned about this show
because when I heard Rhode Island, I thought, oh, the
old money Robert Baron Turn of the century twentieth century
kind of money is not satisfied with being able to
buy humans, you know, they now want to taste of fame.
That's what I thought this show was going to be there,
letting the cameras into the illegal ivory hallways of their
own their domiciles. But now this is actually just someone
from Bachelor and Paradise and her friends acerned about that.
Speaker 3: It's I've seen both the first two episodes. It's it's new.
First off, it's great. It is new money. Ashley I
the Crier isn't actually from Rhode Island, doesn't know anything.
Speaker 1: About and what money does Ashley the Crier, So what
are we doing here?
Speaker 3: Well, we're having fun. There's a They'll enjoy it. You
enjoy it, Okay, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, I'm not worry more about.
Speaker 3: The Valley, which will be cover for free.
Speaker 1: You're worried about the Valley.
Speaker 3: I'm concerned.
Speaker 1: Should we just do the podcast that we've always wanted
to do, where we just break down episodes of family feud?
Speaker 3: Maybe?
Speaker 1: I honestly think if an episode is is if Bravo
fails us, if Bravo fails us, which means they've failed
the audience, you know, the customers. We should just say
we're not even going to Magnif I with a response,
We're gonna watch family Food for thirty minutes and cover it, people.
Speaker 3: Would probably enjoy that.
Speaker 1: I think they was sorry.
Speaker 3: This is so self serving. When I ran into Schwartz
about six months ago at Petco, by the way, they
better show his lizard that he was buying food for
at Petco, and he walked by me and I said Hey, Swartz,
and he turned around because we had made eye contact
for he clearly recognized me as mocking him for three
and a half years. He gave me a death stare
for a full thirty seconds, like he was gonna punch me.
I felt like Katie did when he poured a full
drink of vodka overhead with cameras around him, or in
the first season where he covered who do he pour
a beer over? I think it was Shena. He's an
angry little bastard. I don't like him. He's a fraud.
I'm gonna have a tough time covering him. I'll tell
you my best that.
Speaker 1: Rubes is Schwartz's number one fan. Ruby loves Tom Schwartz,
don't you do?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 3: Do?
Speaker 1: All right? We are in Italy. It as our last
evening or last night in Tuscany. What happened to the
banana milkshakes? Oh they're over there. No, I'm okay.
Speaker 3: I want to say this. I think we're ramping up
the season. I think we might get back and then
we're going to start seeing trailers for their union.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they already did they do the seating chart?
They already did it, right.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Interesting.
Speaker 3: Ruby's getting married next week.
Speaker 1: So very exciting, very exciting. I'm not actually going to
black out. I don't like blacking out. I have an
alcohol poison kind of thing where I just throw up.
I'm not fun. I'm no fun. But I'll have a cocktail.
Speaker 2: Hope, my god.
Speaker 3: I'll have a couple. But it's gonna be early.
Speaker 1: And do you have appetizers?
Speaker 2: You have a kind of a question.
Speaker 1: Is you little or dev little toast points or anything like that?
Speaker 3: What's going on?
Speaker 2: Can I can I actually tell you something I do?
And can I give you? Can I give you a teaser?
Speaker 4: One of them? This is what I'm most excited about.
Haven't even eaten it, won't eat it. They're a little
little one bitter beef Wellington's with little sauce on.
Speaker 1: Wow, you fancy bee.
Speaker 2: It just came with it. We had to pick like five.
Speaker 1: Oh, okay, got it? Yeah, you don't even need beef.
Speaker 2: No, no, I don't, I don't. What does it look like?
Speaker 1: Got it? Let's get into this episode of the Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills. I want to start with my
babyes because last week I mentioned that I feared that
Amana may be gaining ground on these women because they're
so bad at having genuine animosity or conflict. Okay, so
we get a little sloppy when we're truly inventing things
to get upset about. Right, So with Amanda, let's take
Bos for example, who really really screwed the pooch last week.
Bos will have a problem with Amanda in that she's
an annoying, grading likely con woman, right, But Bo's will
turn it into this very, very big thing where it's
about the heart of the person, the heart of the
business woman. And that's where we start to just pull
at arbitrary horseshit and you seed ground to Amanda, who
is just in the pocket. And I really think that
Amanda kind of rose like a little bit of a
phoenix tonight in that we found out that Bo's do
is not like Amanda because.
Speaker 3: They're in the same same They're in the same space.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're in the same space. They're both doing horseshit,
and Amanda's just way better at the horseshit than Bo's is.
Speaker 3: Uh sorry, I'm not stepping on your baby, no please,
But that was very revealing. I already knew that Bose
was doing this her first episode where she was introduced
she was doing a life coaching seminar. Yes, but it
is pretty It's pretty revealing that Bo's would just go
after her because they are kind of doing the same thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was odd. So I thought Amanda had a
good episode. I'm starting to believe that Dereit is Bobby
Fisher correct about everything. Now. She seems to be, you know,
pissing in bottles and duct taping the window shut. But
I do think that she's actually correct when she says,
these women are trying to pull a cannibal like maneuver
around my flank and kill me, and that's on display tonight.
Kyle is as rat like as she has been all season. Tonight.
She is a snarling rat. Ninety babies. Wow, pat okay,
you know why don't we go rubes?
Speaker 3: Okay, she's getting married next week.
Speaker 4: I thought that this episode was a lot more fun
than I expected it to be because I learned things.
I didn't know that Bo's was also a fraudulent queen.
I was unaware that Erica could make me laugh as
hard as she did.
Speaker 1: Quick break for a Patty cookie. Patty's just having a
little cookie, real quick quick break for that.
Speaker 2: Oh first and only mail of the day for him.
Speaker 1: No, this is actually his second cookie of the day.
Had a couple of the gang over last night and
there were some extra cookies laying around, so he's popping
a second cookie.
Speaker 3: Of the day.
Speaker 1: Good for you, Patty, Good for you.
Speaker 3: Okay, go ahead, okay.
Speaker 4: Erica during the scene where they were bullying to made
me laugh incredibly when she was just ordering the gelato.
I just I loved her this episode. Uh, Juri should
be referred to as Bobby moving forward, right. I didn't
think it could happen. I had a lot of fun
in Italy this week. Ninety two babies.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna have to make me quiet, baby, that's right, baby.
Speaker 3: You don't even know how to do it. Baby.
Speaker 1: I was just telling you to stop interrupting me. Never
has anyone haven't told me to stop talking, baby, and
I'll never do it. I haven't done it my entire life.
No one treads on me. Okay, I was just it
wasn't that big. I'm just saying.
Speaker 3: Anyways, all right, I follow a lot of Housewives Facebook groups.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, and I.
Speaker 3: Cannot tell you how divided people are.
Speaker 1: Your ankles look great today.
Speaker 3: Thank you. How the fans are of this particular franchise
are on the cast. Some people love Kyle, some people
hate her. Clearly, I am with people that hate.
Speaker 1: Kyle loves Kyle.
Speaker 3: Well, can I say this? I think excuse me, I'm joking.
Chocolate chip, Yeah, Kyle's annoying.
Speaker 1: Those looked to have a really good texture.
Speaker 3: Oh, those are good cookies.
Speaker 1: You don't like a crispy cookie.
Speaker 3: No, it's got to be soft and mushy.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm so surprised that the popularity of tats,
you know, tats in the green bag.
Speaker 3: That's what they are. No, those are tats, at least
one of them are tates.
Speaker 1: Tats is a crisp.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I have two different types of Oh
do they yeah.
Speaker 1: Yet chips a hoy recently? No, it's disgusting.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't eat.
Speaker 4: Those, Dylan. Can I tell you something? I did have
them recently? I did not so bad vile. Don't eat
them if you haven't had them, Let them live in
your memory as they were, because they're inedible.
Speaker 1: Just just a chemical sludge of dough and chocolate. It's
really bad. Yep. Sorry, That's why I'm trying to get
them out of all our foods.
Speaker 3: Now, I'm gonna drink wine for that hackey bit.
Speaker 1: We have to be drinking milk. But also I do support.
Speaker 5: Spraying. Life is late on everything.
Speaker 1: We can zoom for national security.
Speaker 2: Cheryl, Cheryl Dylan, he picked that voice?
Speaker 1: No, he did, He really did.
Speaker 3: Before we lose any more listeners.
Speaker 1: Yeah, alright, sorry for our MAHA fans.
Speaker 3: Okay, Carl Kyle is annoying. That's why people hate her.
But what she says is it wrong?
Speaker 1: No, it's the way she goes about it. Such a
fucking sick thing, all right, is everything?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Okay? Is det all over the fucking place?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay?
Speaker 3: Is does Duri put on a fake accent. Yeah, okay,
she's that's pretty much what she's saying this entire episode.
Speaker 2: Yeah okay, but pat the issue is, and thank you.
Speaker 4: I think Rachel at one point is like, I'm around
people that are like this all the time.
Speaker 2: Why do you care so much? Kyle?
Speaker 4: Why do you care so much? It's because she hates
her so deeply, and I think it's fun to watch.
Speaker 3: But why, Rachel Zough You've been filming for two months
and you've already said, as they pointed out with looking
back three times, how annoyed you are with her being late,
working with her for ten years.
Speaker 1: Patty always devil's advocate on this show. He always it's
such a valuable thing, because otherwise it would just be
a just a column of vitriol and bile towards, you know,
the people that we love. But in comes pat an
agent of complete chaos, sticking up for people like Kyle
Richard's and Amanda Patuli what's her last name?
Speaker 3: Who cares? Francis No, but Rachel Zoe says at some
point in this episode that she's basically Switzerland. I haven't
been around this enough to even comment on Oh, whoa,
whoa whoa, whoa. And then when you were in the
vans with Drid, it's clearly you've picked a side.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so uh yeah, please spare me.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 3: The other thing Bose, as I've pointed out, is completely
in the mud and not good at it and abandoning
all her principles of the high road being a mentor.
I think Variety or the Hollywood Reporter, after the third
episode of her first season, wrote an article talking about,
this is the first house housewife that is now teaching
other women how you can be better on this show.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, do you remember that movie? What fucking
grotesque think piece? Naivete? Go ahead, rubs.
Speaker 4: I was just gonna say, I vaguely recall it is
a joke of an SNL piece. They can think that
this is something that should exist just in the.
Speaker 1: World, right, Yeah, because everyone who's watched Housewives, even half
a season, you can pick up on this is a
long con effort to publicly and ritually humiliate women of
a certain age. That's what the show is about. It
what it's for.
Speaker 3: By the way, that the fact that that article was written,
that's not bo'ss problem. Like Bose has a mission. She's
coming to here and making good sure, but the fact
that some idiot wrote that that does not serve anybody.
Speaker 1: Well, Bo's will be a semi national embarrassment within a
season and a half.
Speaker 3: Last note, Deree, what is going on here? My gut
initially was some either a lack of pills or a
lot of pills. I now think and this is sad,
and I'm not making light of this. I think it
is late on set, some kind of OCD. You know
how you have to test doors a certain number of times? Yeah, yeah,
I used to have it more when I was a kid.
I completely got rid of it if I didn't go
through this certain ritual of touching.
Speaker 1: I think you're right. I think you're right. I hadn't
thought about that, but I think that she's probably, Yeah,
she's dealing with she probably has a disorder.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's also a self important witch. Right, So the
combo of those two, you're going to be really late
to things.
Speaker 4: Go ahead, Rubs, But if you think about the witch
also going through what she's going through with her kids
and her ex husband, I think there may be slow
cracks starting to form and reality is slipping in and
it's really really, it's not able to be absorbed, and
it manifests itself in all sorts of ways.
Speaker 2: And I think that's what we're seeing here, right.
Speaker 1: Because I don't think women usually look through their purse
for that long, right, because that's kind of a man thing.
Like I'll look at a refrigerator and I can't see
what I'm looking for, and then I'll do a little
Dorothy twirl and It'll appear right in front of me.
It was there the whole time. I just couldn't see it.
It's kind of like a crazy thing.
Speaker 3: But haven't you ever done the thing like if I
don't do this fourteen times, my mom will die.
Speaker 1: I do a thing where I I always have to
kiss a certain part of the refrigerator for my daughter.
I know that's weird, but I also I've gotten over
this too. But the door's locking thing? Did I lock
the door got to go back? Did I lock the
door got to go back?
Speaker 3: You know something like that? Nothing like that anyway, not enough.
I think it was mentioned once in this episode OCD thing.
But anyway, I think it's that all right anyway. Fourteen
Babies a great episode.
Speaker 1: Caitlyn, how many babys don't you dare say fifty babays,
why not?
Speaker 3: That's his score.
Speaker 1: Fifteen babys, that's his score. You're right. It's our last
night in Tuscany, and I just have to say it was.
It was a quick glance. We were afforded. The breakfast
spread at this villa.
Speaker 3: Is just.
Speaker 1: Beautiful and and and I know that the housewives aren't
on a game show, but why is Trader so good?
They have eggs, they have underwripe, honeydew and cantalobe, and
they have if they're lucky, slices of nova. That's it, Okay,
they're essentially prisoners of war. These women are afforded all
of these luxuries, and there are too many croissants. Okay,
I think that we should. What I'm saying is, I
think we should start starving the housewives. Sorry, not for
a weight thing, for a mental thing before.
Speaker 3: Before we start. Yeah, two notes, sorry, the audience loves
when Patty talks.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm gonna.
Speaker 3: Throw up two tangents.
Speaker 1: One.
Speaker 3: As we know now, the Bachelorette has been thrown in
the garbage this season.
Speaker 1: Oh the footage.
Speaker 3: The rumor is they are quickly trying to pull together
a replacement season starring Moura from Traders.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, have you heard the same thing I have?
Speaker 2: And I don't think?
Speaker 4: I think? Okay, she is way too on the rise,
way too good, whatever you want it. She wants to
date like like Leo. She's not going to go for
a fucking loser influencer that has like twelve hundred followers
on Instagram guitar. Let me rephrase don't yeah, okay, fair enough.
Speaker 3: Second thing, you refer to the nice spread these ladies had, Yes,
it's this beautiful villa. Have you ever heard the quote
or the adage young is wasted on the youth? Okay,
I have a play on that. Beautiful dinners are wasted
on the housewives.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 3: The end of this episode, we have that beautiful view,
those beautiful dinners, the beautiful ambiance. None of it is
a appreciated because they're fucking fighting.
Speaker 1: Let's all raise a glass, right, remember we're here, everybody.
We want to say it's a fantastic dinner. You think
bos for.
Speaker 3: Saying the dinners are wasted on the housewives. Anybody would
die to get these experiences, and none of them appreciate
it because they're too busy being anxious about gearing up
a confrontation. Yeah, let's begin the episode.
Speaker 1: It's tough to always look at life this way. It's
not a practical thing to do because so much of
the world does not live in these conditions. But it's
important to remember that there are people in this world
that are really really struggling incomprehensibly so and when you
think about that, and then you look at these women
doing what these women are doing, it can make you
actually physically ill. They're just some of the most abhorrant
representations of humanity we could possibly imagine. But they're of
trying to be representatives of humanity. They're just trying to
fight with one another in Tuscany. So anyways, lighting up
Sudden and Aman to have a little chat. And speaking
of little these beds are just flat out inappropriate for
the housewives.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't allow elves to them, yeah, little people.
Speaker 1: With that being said, I do think that the beds
should get smaller for everyone. I'm just trying to make
the housewives a little bit like the first half of
Full Middle Jacket. I think it would be better for
the French.
Speaker 3: But I do want to jump back because the first
scene we actually get del as we wake up in
that beautiful villa. Is Bo's and Zoe taking a little sun.
Speaker 1: Yeah right, yeah, Zoe tans like Ruby would tan.
Speaker 3: And you know, Caddy Patty is wide awake with them
in the boarding, you know, and I have to say,
with Caddy Patties, what are you there? Yeah, Caddy Patti's here,
wide awake? Is Rachel Zoe in her look? Is her
look tattooed on her body? This Caddy Patty again? Her
six inch heels aren't like a tramp stamp, you know, uh,
you know her, It's not like her favorite Aerosmith album
is like on her back. You know, you can't, you
can't take that off. But the six inch heels on
her feet, you can. You know, girlfriend, feel free to
take off, take off that outfit, get the sun in.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: You're on vacation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, go ahead, you just you can't.
Speaker 2: It can't be done. It won't come off.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And the shoes take them off? No, so she hates feet?
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, No, it's a really good point that what
is Rachel's What does she wear when she's watching Netflix?
You know, we were afforded, We were afforded a really
rare glimpse in to the normalcy of one Erika Girardi
who's living in a poolhouse watching Netflix and she's just
crushing a bag of something from Trader Joe's. Right. We
rarely see that. It's always all glammed up. We're doing
a kid's birthday party, you know, it's it's all this
big affair, right. We don't have any like normalcy with
these people. I don't know what Rachel Zoe is doing
when she's just at home. Is she a calftan on
the couch?
Speaker 4: Yeah? So here's what I think she does. If she
is ever, she's probably in robe like calftan houseware. And
if she's not, she's in like a beautiful matching cashmir
set or something, right.
Speaker 1: Right, Well, lifestyles are the rich and the famous. They're
always complaining in Good Charlotte. I think one of them's
dead alive, Okay, Sutton, you know what?
Speaker 3: Sorry?
Speaker 1: I thought one got involved in a plane crash or something.
Speaker 3: Once married to uh Cameron Diaz. The other one's married
to the simple life girl.
Speaker 1: No way married to Cameron Diaz. You didn't know that,
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 4: Yeah, Benji, I think and the other one I don't
think is married to the Simpson anymore.
Speaker 2: I think they got divorced.
Speaker 3: Not Simpson, Richie Richie.
Speaker 2: Oh who was actually Simpson married to Nicholas.
Speaker 3: Now he's married to Diana Ross's son and they're still married.
Speaker 2: Yeah, then they're cute.
Speaker 1: Lionel Richie's face is so big now he's eighty.
Speaker 4: Uh he said he doesn't he doesn't believe in love.
Speaker 3: By the way, Diana Ross, that kid's dad, Diana Ross
and him went mountain climbing. She kicked him off the
fucking mountain. He was a billionaire. She fucking kicked him
right off the fucking mountain.
Speaker 1: He's done, he's dead.
Speaker 3: She's got his billion dollars now.
Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah, I do the same thing. So Sutton
is showing up for work. She says that when we
were in the car, I want to tell you something
happened that was very distance. Erica pulled up the chet
robot thing. I don't know what you call that, but
they found some things and we're reading it out loud.
She's on the verge of tears. She's moved by the
harshness of this act. And this is where I go.
Bobby Fisher duct taping the windows. Is she correct? Because
I'm very very confused why Sutton is essentially emotionally submissive
to Amanda in this moment. Maybe I'm reading it to Macavelian, like,
but like, what are you doing?
Speaker 3: I have a theory, but I want to hear rubies.
Speaker 4: Okay, well I kind of when she was like, Amanda
has no bad bones in her body out loud, said oh,
even if I don't necessarily know if they're bad, I
think they're shifty.
Speaker 2: What the fuck is going on?
Speaker 4: Sudden? She used your pillow as a desk and seventy
two hours ago, you really you really disliked this person.
This feels like Sutton woke up, took pills, and now
we're here.
Speaker 1: Pop yo. Yeah yeah, yeah, Well, let me just say
this really quickly, and I'm maybe going to get us
into trouble. But it's also important to remember that she
used the passing of her child as a way to
disarm conflict at a dinner that she went to, even
though it was the anniversary of said child's passing. So
maybe not bad, but definitely fucking weird.
Speaker 3: I black that out of my memory. Yeah, here's my theory,
and it's a horrible, cynical one. But I believe the
housewives clearly read the comments about what people say about
their overall arc on a particular season. I think this
is Sutton's redemption. I think she's trying to play nice here,
and she's trying. She's realizing that Bose is being mean,
dere eats off in her, Bobby Bobby Fisher, Yeah, and
Rachel Zoe's being particularly mean. Also, all successful women, and
you also have a younger successful person and they're all
being fucking mean. Yeah, and Sutton's gonna be the one
for ten.
Speaker 1: You're saying, when you're playing war games, you have to
have alliances.
Speaker 3: You have to well, you have to stick up for
the one that's not really sticking up for herself. And
I think it's a good play for Suton.
Speaker 1: Actually, well, we'll see. Amanda says that bos is jealous
because her business doesn't make any money and hers makes
millions of dollars. And Amanda really Amanda is out, she
gets she gets wimpy, she does that thing where.
Speaker 3: She goes, oh, can I say this?
Speaker 1: My eyes are falling out of my head.
Speaker 3: If I'm a pr person and I could be working
with Amanda through this like, you know how Bose has
four people in this villa helping her with all the
looks and stuff. I would just be with Amanda going
all right, cool it with the baby voice. Shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Also, stop mentioning that you're the breadwinner. Stop mentioning that
your fiance is a fucking loser.
Speaker 1: Yeah, drop. Ninety percent of who you are is what I'm.
Speaker 3: Saying, that your fiance makes. You make in a month,
what your fiance makes in her all that stuff, and
stop everything that you say, stop saying it's about your business,
and ninety percent of this will be cleared up. Bring
up some stuff about your life and start asking questions
about the other women.
Speaker 1: Right, So, you, as a PR person, would say change
almost everything everything about what you present, right right, right.
And my most important thing is if I was a
PR person, I'd say, let's choose one milk. Let's just
pick one milk, right, one milk.
Speaker 3: I'm like the Geico guy that sits by the old
people going hey, yeah, you're changing your tires over there.
I'm the guy that goes, hey, don't ask that.
Speaker 1: Strang to that question, right right, Rubes, go ahead.
Speaker 4: She would be the only thing that would be Worse
than having to be her publicist would be the responses
she'd give you, because you'd be like, Okay, Amanda, people
aren't the milk is too much, We need to pick one,
and she'd be like, well, I don't think that ceremonial grade,
Mancha tis good.
Speaker 2: With one milk?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you want me to not enjoy my latte, right,
and yes, that's exactly what we're asking.
Speaker 2: Okay, speak to me like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But then you would be like, yes, I want
you to pick one milk, and then she would go,
do you know how short live is for so much
of us. To pick one milk would be to diminish
the brief.
Speaker 2: And then you quit.
Speaker 1: Kylen sneezed. I fucking hate when he sneezed. God, I
can't stand that. All right, let's get to breakfast before
I just blow a gasket a kitlin, all right. Kyle
is still blown away by Natalie's revolting behavior, and Kyle's
chemical imbalance is really on display here. Not having Natalie
involved in the show really in any way, shape or form,
makes Kyle's manic lashing out at her even weirder. It
doesn't make any sense, and at breakfast, she starts talking
about how disgusting it is that Natalie lied, and Kathy
goes Kyle, and Kyle says, Kathy, I'm your sister. Okay,
who's fucking side are you gonna pick? And if I
was Kathy, I would just I would say no side.
We all lie. It's not a big deal, babe. But
Kathy just picks her battles.
Speaker 3: By the way, there's two things mixed into this conversation.
It gets kind of convoluted because she also then brings
up Dret as well. Yes, and this is when you
know I'm older than you.
Speaker 1: Two failed marriage of Conrad Hilton and Jajah.
Speaker 3: By the way, if Conrad Hilton was alive today, and
this is I'm not like exaggerating. If he was alive today,
he'd be one hundred and seventy six years old. Yeah,
that's why I love the reference.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and real vampire.
Speaker 3: He had married Jajah gaboor H the original Do you
know who Jajah Gabor is? Ruby?
Speaker 2: Yes, Patrick, I do?
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, I think they invented the the Golden Globes
to give her an award.
Speaker 3: Really, I think so, the original Diva. Yeah, Okay, he's wonderful.
She punched a cop when she was eighty nine. I'll
kill you because he pulled her over when she was
with expired tags on her in her Rose Royce. Yeah yeah,
on Rodeo drive and she fucking swung and punched him
in the fucking face. Yeah, and they gave her three
days in the pokey god eighty nine.
Speaker 1: I would I don't care how old she is. If
jah a boor took a swing at me and I
was a peace officer, i'd front kicker straight to the ground.
Speaker 3: I think he did, by the way, not to be
in her cell mate. Hey, hey, Josh, can you you
stuff this ball of crack in your asshole?
Speaker 1: Hey, Jaja, we're having beans tonight. You want any I
heat it up? This this cand lid for you if
you in case you want to eat some bushes baked bean.
Speaker 3: Hey, I'm going to talk to my boyfriend on the
bowl later.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But oh yeah. She had one of the most famous
quotes ever. She said, do it in her voice, Oh babe,
I'm I'm a great housekeeper. Do you know? I won't
know how I get that name. Every time I get
a divorce, I keep the house.
Speaker 1: Yeah, hell yeah, Wow, that's really good.
Speaker 3: By the way, this is a sad story. I hate
that I know too much about her. Died at ninety nine.
She was on life support because she asked to be
in case they could resuscitate her for five fucking years
in a coma.
Speaker 1: I have another house to keep, baby.
Speaker 3: That's right. Maybe I'll marry again. I'll keep that fucking
house too. But I'm dead.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I do it. Oops, you're dead. Yeah, sorry,
she's Jane, Yeah she is. She was the first swamp rat. Okay,
so because we've got to stomp grapes, we go to well,
Darita is late once again, we should say, and we
go to stomp grapes. Now, dearit and Kyle and Erica
Jane baby will go off to an odd place. It's
like kind of like the churn Noble of Italy. Though.
Speaker 3: This is one place. This is where rich people normally
go to hunt humans, well actually specific humans. These are
where college kids got kidnapped. And this is where, By
the way, my wife the other day, this is how
far she's getting into these conspiracy things. She actually thinks
rich people do pay to hunt people. Yeah, oh, you
think that happens too.
Speaker 2: Wouldn't shock me, shock me.
Speaker 1: I don't think that they're in the hunting spirit. I
think they're probably more in the kind of pig on
a platter kind of thing. But I don't know. I mean,
who knows. We're not in those circles. We're too good
of people.
Speaker 4: It's not the lack of billions of dollars. It's just
because we're too good.
Speaker 1: That's why we're not there exactly. Because if me and
you and Pat, maybe Calen, although I think Calen would
be a turncoat, start just eating people so quickly we would.
We would round a corner and he would have a
rib in his hands, and we would be like, what
is going on, dude? It tastes good. It's a fucking
it's a child from Detroit. What are you doing? You
can't eat that? But I feel like all of us
would go, hey, hey, not cool, not cool, guys. We
would really snuff it out and we would be killed
for it. So anyways, we're stopping grapes and the host
is way too much. If I was fun, no, isn't
that stuff fun?
Speaker 3: No? It's not.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I think yeah, this is the villa man, it's.
Speaker 1: The villa man.
Speaker 3: Oh well, you can't forget that smile once you saw it.
Speaker 1: Now, I usually go to these things pretty high, and
I should stop doing that. But if I was, if
I was fairly stoned, this kind of temperament would not
jive well with me. Too much, too happy, way too happy.
Speaker 4: If you were not stoned, this type of temperament would
be too much too happy. Calm down a little and
the grape right.
Speaker 1: So the women are not okay with stomping. They find
the fucking stomping disgusting. I don't know why we've booked this,
but the ladies gather are around and we launch into
kind of arbitrary, completely fucking made up arguments between Amanda
and Bo's. Bo says that you're taking a defensive position
and not telling us the heart of you. Where did
you just what lucky charm marshmallow did you just pluck
out of the bowl? There? Okay, and it's just nuts.
Speaker 3: I want to back up for a second. Yeah, I
want to thank Sutton for teeing us up here in
the absence of producer Kyle, Sutton tease us up, and
Amanda goes for Bos for shitting on her business first,
and that's how we get to Bos with this ridiculous retort. Okay, now,
Zoe first attempts to squash this fight out of the gate,
like hour drinking wine. Why should we do this? Why
don't you shut the fuck up, go wash your feet
and call Jerry to make sure he got his ice
cream on that first plot? Yeah, yeah, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1: Well no, no, but, but, but but for one moment to
actually hang on, I'll throw to Ruby for any criticism
of what Pat said before anything else.
Speaker 4: I'm happy Pat that you can be the devil's advocate.
Speaker 1: Okay, right, right, right, because what actually happened was Amanda
launched into her horseshit about her again FBI, hurry up business,
and Rachel Zoe said, we're at a Winherry, Right, we
don't need to hear about the retention right of your
fucking herbal life scam. Right, we don't need.
Speaker 3: To Oh, okay, listen to that. But those can do
three episode arc essentially an infomercial about shitting on her business. Yes,
and then when she attempts to push back on that,
we we will hear none of that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, them's the rules.
Speaker 3: By the way, wouldn't you love it if someone started
talking shit about Rachel's business or.
Speaker 1: God forbid her marriage.
Speaker 3: I'm sure Rachel would have nothing to say about that,
right right, No, no, you too, you too, you too?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But but but but we're getting into it because we
hate people and the way they articulate things. They're little
isms like we hate Kyle's isms, Amanda systems. It doesn't
you can't not hear what they're saying. Like a lot
of things can be true at once. Bose, what she
did is awful. She's jealous, she's being petty. Yes, Rachel
Zoe is being dismissive and she's being a mean girl.
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, I.
Speaker 3: Know, Rachel, take six seats back. I know you don't
want to hear this because you're rich and successful. But
go call Jerry and make sure he got the pod seat. Okay,
we listen to your bullshit, right and now Amanda, let
her defend herself and hear the coct defense.
Speaker 1: Mom, the chair didn't recline all the way. It was broken.
It couldn't go back the last bit of the chair.
I'm calling to tell you that.
Speaker 4: What I will say though, just to go back to
living in my truth, which is defending Rachel Zoe.
Speaker 2: Until everyone's dead.
Speaker 1: You're going to try to steal her house though, that's why.
Speaker 4: Oh, well, she can stay there, we can split it.
Her marriage is done, so you can't talk about her marriage.
Come for her business.
Speaker 2: They would if they could.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm serious.
Speaker 4: So it's like, you can't come for Kyle's money. She's
rich because Mauricio is rich like dread.
Speaker 2: On the other hand, your honor, how do we do this?
We have negative eighteen dollars? What do we split?
Speaker 1: Ga, well, gavell it's actually eighteen million. They want Amanda
to share her heart, and she says, the problem with
you guys is that I have shared my heart. I've
told you about Manifestation. I've told you about the retention rates.
I've told you about the portals that we use for
the comment boards. And everyone is Sutton goes babe, they
see that's what we're talking about. Talk about your children, okay,
And then Amanda starts talking about our kids and how
they're fucking losers and they don't make any money, and
they go, oh, actually, you know what, let's just move on.
Dereet Erica and Kyle head out to a little Chernobyl
in Italy. As I mentioned the place looks like a
counter Strike map. Do you ever play counter Strike?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Share them? A lot of the audience has I don't
know how to discuss this. Dearite and Kyle are both
so nuts. I genuinely have no idea what they're even
talking about.
Speaker 3: Well, I think Durit has a good point. Bobby Fisher,
who is he?
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. You know that SNL
sketch it's a Will Ferland and a guest.
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, I don't know, I don't know. Yeah, really.
Speaker 2: Zero idea.
Speaker 3: So anyway, I have a question for Ruby. When it
gets heated between Dee and Kyle and Erica interjects in
their fighting, they're getting gelato? What was Erica gonna say
to Dree?
Speaker 4: Do you mean when after she says like, if we
say anything to you, you freak out.
Speaker 3: Well, there was something that Kyle and Durite were going
at it, and then Dured stops Erica. Erica when she
tries to She's like, I'm getting ambush right now? What
was what hash was Erica trying to settle with?
Speaker 1: Due?
Speaker 4: I think Erica and Kyle are trying to do the
same thing that they're just like, you're insane and you're
being really manic, and we're all concerned about you. What's
funny is that Kyle isn't concerned. She's been talking shit
about her the entire time. And I assume Erica was
just there because she was told to go by producers.
Speaker 2: I don't really, I don't really know.
Speaker 3: I love how it was a sightseeing trip slash intervention,
which we've seen before, but it was on Salt Lake
City with Meredith Marks. Do you remember that one?
Speaker 1: I won't partake in that. I can't do Meredith both and.
Speaker 2: With women walking on the side of the road in foreign.
Speaker 1: Countries, Ruby, can you do your Meredith?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: Right now? Come on, I just by the way, I
know I can't.
Speaker 1: By the way.
Speaker 3: Weird tangent people on the internet have showed footage of
Saint Patrick's Day of them filming Salt Lake City with
Meredith Marks. In footage she's supposed to not be on
this season.
Speaker 1: I thought she is she a friend of or something.
Maybe I thought she retired all right. Anyways, this evolves
into a moment wherein as we mentioned Erica, Jane interrupts
to read who says, please let me finish the sentence
and Erica Jane says, you're never going to silence.
Speaker 3: Maybab that's right, babbe. I don't chat up. No one
chats me up, babbe.
Speaker 1: Now you know ever, well, uh, Erica, please babe, I'm
trying to finish the sentence. Do you know where I
came from? I came from the swamps. Everyone tried to
quiet man the swamps to read, and I won't be quieted.
Go ahead, Ruby.
Speaker 4: This made me feel she was like on Broadway doing
a bit and it was like the like, hey, could
you pass the milk? And She's like, I could pass
the milk or I could walk it over to you.
Speaker 2: Which one do you want?
Speaker 4: And I can tell you I've walked a mile in
these shoes.
Speaker 1: In you It's like, Eric, Erica, No it's not that
big though, No, it's just not that big. Listen. Bo's well,
we should say, Dar gets in the van and drives
away and leaves them stranded in this place where the
rich hunt the poor.
Speaker 3: Can I tell you the only way Dark could have
pulled this off? In power to her is the fact
that she spoke very good to tell you.
Speaker 1: I love Dared is having an awesome season. She's a
nutbag and she has negative money, but I love her.
Speaker 3: I think it speaks very uh not well of her
character her to just say I'm going to just drive
off in this communal.
Speaker 1: Certainly not, but in this hunger games, I think that
she's an apex predator for that very reason. Let's get
back to the home, the mansion, the villa and.
Speaker 3: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We we have that van ride
with the bug that Erica Jane helped Kyle with.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we do, we do?
Speaker 3: Because can I ask, Yeah, what.
Speaker 4: The fuck was DEREI doing this entire time? Because we
Erica and Kyle have to assume assuming get new transportation,
they're traumatized by this bug, they get back, they debrief,
all of this time passes durit is nowhere to be found.
Speaker 1: So before two thoy and fifteen, when Instagram really, you know,
people started really doom scrolling, I think Dee was just
sitting in rooms and looking at walls. Now that she
has a phone that she can absolutely just erode her
brain with, I think that's what she's doing. I think
she's just up in a room on her phone.
Speaker 3: And by the way, she thinks she's right to have
left them there, she'll like, they'll find a way. I
have a personal story here in college senior year, my
roommates Stu we both liked the same girl. He was
my ride back to our.
Speaker 1: Stu or Stwu.
Speaker 3: We he was my ride back to our house. And
I start talking to the girl that he liked I liked,
and uh. I go to the bathroom and he fucking
takes off. And the only way to get back to
the house was a two mile walk in the dead
of winter, and he fucking ditched me in every fucking foot,
every step. I was like, I am going to beat
the shit out of him. When I got back there,
he fucking ditched me. I was so pissed.
Speaker 1: Did you beat the shit out of him?
Speaker 3: No? I was so tired. Once I got back to
the house, I just went to bed, but I was
really angry the next week.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then when I confronted him, he was like,
fuck you anyway. We're still friends, but I never forgot that.
Speaker 1: But you guys are friends.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're Facebook friends.
Speaker 1: Okay, well that's but you just.
Speaker 3: Lied, I did.
Speaker 1: You're not friends Facebook friends.
Speaker 3: We like each other's pictures.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Stu posted the other day having a tough one.
Speaker 3: And I liked it, and I don't I don't even
know what that means. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when someone says lines today down at Gopher Market,
I don't understand.
Speaker 3: We gotta have like a different thing than like like
when someone posts like today I lost my dad. He's
my best friend, my pal, he was like my inspiration
and then you like it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I guess I like that your dad's debt.
Speaker 4: Yeah, right, like a compassion like maybe like a soft
like or you know, something like that.
Speaker 2: They should do that.
Speaker 3: That's right, switch it up a.
Speaker 1: Little bit, yeah, because it's essentially like commenting.
Speaker 4: Lol, you know, right, Can I tell you something? So
I'm rewatching oc for comfort and just to get us
back into somehow of the Housewives I was rewatching. I
like when they make them do things that they wouldn't
normally do. So get back to your location without transportation,
take transportation away from other cast members, things like that. Yes,
they were at the Ropes course and Vicki gun Wilson
gets her finger stuck. It's one of the greatest scenes
of TV I think I've ever seen on any of
the franchises.
Speaker 3: A I like, sorry, this is dark when her mother died.
Speaker 1: Hot, you're liking her status right now? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Anyway, in the vans Erica helping kill that bug
said a lot about her saving Kyle. Don't you think No, Look, babe,
killing bugs is easy. I faked orgasms for twenty years, baby,
count them twenty. Try smiling when you're riding a corpse,
a corpse, I'll tell you it's not easy.
Speaker 1: He sounded like Orson Wells.
Speaker 5: Yeah he did.
Speaker 2: That was fun.
Speaker 1: Okayes, who's that talking to me?
Speaker 3: That's not supposed to.
Speaker 1: The French ship. It's the finest in the world, only
the French.
Speaker 3: Owston.
Speaker 1: Let's take it again. You're drilling again.
Speaker 3: Who's talking to me? Right now?
Speaker 1: Bo's is mad that she got dragged into the situation.
When we're back at the house and recounting what happened,
and Rachel Zoe has a Donald Rumsfeld moment where she
says that we all that we understand, we all aren't
can't be the we all that we know we all are. Okay,
don't know what? Hey, what's your that's pat George Bush.
Ruby is losing her mind. Okay, So we flash to
Kyle talking to literally every single person about to Read.
And this is where we have to look at Kyle
and just thank god she doesn't have any real levers
of power, because she truly is a vomit inducing person.
Not only is Kyle going around and telling and talking
to everyone about to read, she's framing it as though
she genuinely cares about to read, which is a thin
veneer that you can see through very very easily. It's
like X ray paper. And behind the x ray paper
is Kyle wanting to literally slit to Read's throat.
Speaker 3: Can I tell you something that would be so freshing
herd it just as they were in that like little
walkway or whatever getting to a lotto, Just go, you
know what, fuck it, Dere. I hate you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I amazing.
Speaker 3: I've hated you for so long.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: You are constantly late, You hold up production. Sorry guys,
and you're an awful person. I take PK side all
day long.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Just do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because and I get it right, like you know,
it's like me and you, for example, like I have
to you know, you you can just go about your
life eating slices of turkey and drinking sugar free monsters,
and you can have these beautiful ankles, right, Kyle looks
at Durreit and she goes, I'm out here pretending to
be a fucking lesbian. I am running fifteen miles a day,
I'm not drinking, and here you are. I don't know
what you do. It's this is rarely genetics. You're just
walking around gleaming, and it pisses me the fuck off,
you know. I think that's really what it comes down to.
Speaker 3: Oh there's yes, there's lots of components.
Speaker 1: But really, though Ruby, it's more that she's just so
much hotter, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it is.
Speaker 4: And it's also that, like somehow I think, deep down,
Kyle and knows Duri will end up with a very
very rich international man and Kyle will have to keep
being a lesbian, and l MO takes her back in
their eighties.
Speaker 3: I take you back these careers in the shit just
I'll mention to be able to shove babe.
Speaker 1: I hate, I hate, I don't like it, Okay, all right,
So at some point we get into gondola to go
to the restaurant durid. It's very very upset and it's icy.
It's icy in the gondola, and we sit down Jennifer
Tilly orders not one, but two pastas and the best
wine you have, because we are fancy people. Okay. Now,
Kathy Hilton raises a glass. As we mentioned, she's the
guiding light of this group, and sadly, I think that
she's a perfect north star of America. Right now, Kathy
Hilton is what America is.
Speaker 4: Yep.
Speaker 1: She is cheers, she is wealthy, she is cheers ing
to nothing. She is screaming homophobic epithets a DJs past
her bedtime. She is our country now, Kyle, and to
re pick up their conversation, it's very clear that once
again Kyle is a rat, framing this as, oh honey,
we're all just so concerned about you, babe, as if
she's doing a public deed for Dart and then trying
to wrap everyone in the cross hairs a little bit.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I can't remember if it was on this show. I
think it was below Deck. We were talking about throwing Mikey
in front of the oncoming bullets and your shaped ambush.
Kyle is trying to take Durite down with no accountability.
She's trying to frame this as though all of the
women have naturally been very concerned and not spurred on
by my hatred.
Speaker 3: It's a stupid way to frame things like just go
for like small bites. Hey, you left me and Erica today,
Like we don't know this place? Why would you do
that to us?
Speaker 1: Right? Like Pat wants, Pat wants this distilled down into
like a Jim Downey in Happy Gilmore kind of or
Billy Madison kind of.
Speaker 3: What you did today?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hey, we're not from here, right, we don't know
where we're going. We don't speak this language. What are
you doing?
Speaker 3: Why would you do that?
Speaker 1: Credit to Durret, she doesn't get distracted. She stays on
Kyle the whole time, and that spurs on Kyle to go, so, well.
Speaker 5: Are you always fucking riding me?
Speaker 1: That's the Kyle. That's Kyle right there?
Speaker 3: Can I tell you you guys were asking what was
Deuri doing it all day in that room? Forming an argument?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? And that is when we get our to
be continued card? Ruby. Do we need a to be
continued card here?
Speaker 4: I think it's when they don't want to show you
scenes from next week about the fight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you can show us, right, It's okay, it's okay,
what's gonna happen? Next week, maybe a lunch.
Speaker 3: We're gonna see a big fight, and then we're gonna
see the trailer for the first part of the reunion.
Speaker 1: Maybe hopefully it's fireworks. Get in the comments, let us
know what you thought about the episode. Say congrats to
Ruby on her coming and pending nuptials, and uh yeah,
just fucking let your freak flag fly this weekend. Fucking
get out there and fuck it up. I'm dyling saying
goodbye Pat, say goodbye bye baby, bye bye jail.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Still it's still the bad, still in the head.
Speaker 3: On the stone.
Speaker 4: I could walk on the back, stumboking all s walk
on fire, I can walk on the head.
Speaker 5: I'm walking all the sty not
Speaker 4: You did