WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.840 --> 00:00:01.399 Say it again. 2 00:00:02.399 --> 00:00:07.280 When I was a child, I was home alone, which 3 00:00:07.320 --> 00:00:08.279 is always dangerous. 4 00:00:08.480 --> 00:00:09.359 I've seen that film. 5 00:00:09.720 --> 00:00:13.560 Yeah, yeah, this was like, rather than hurting other people, 6 00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:17.679 I hurt myself. I rolled a pellet of toilet paper 7 00:00:18.480 --> 00:00:20.960 up so it fitted into the breach of my one 8 00:00:21.120 --> 00:00:25.679 seven seven Diana air rifle, and I was trying to 9 00:00:25.719 --> 00:00:29.559 shoot flies with it, and the ballistics weren't all that hot. 10 00:00:30.160 --> 00:00:34.159 So I thought, for some reason, and I know not why, 11 00:00:34.600 --> 00:00:37.320 Let's see what happens if I shoot my own big toe. 12 00:00:38.119 --> 00:00:41.840 So the range from the end of a Diana one 13 00:00:41.960 --> 00:00:45.200 seven seven air rifle from a thirteen year old sort 14 00:00:45.200 --> 00:00:49.200 of hand holding it from the sort of hip position 15 00:00:49.679 --> 00:00:52.479 to a big toe is actually quite close. And I 16 00:00:52.640 --> 00:00:59.719 pressed the trigger at flip me. It hurt so lessen 17 00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:04.799 to any any anyone listening. Don't shoot yourself in the 18 00:01:04.840 --> 00:01:08.799 foot with a nineteen fifty zero air rifle with some 19 00:01:08.920 --> 00:01:12.560 Kleenex shoved in it. It's just plastic service. 20 00:01:12.640 --> 00:01:15.879 It's a very extended idiom, but I think it's normally 21 00:01:15.879 --> 00:01:18.000 abbreviated don't shoot yourself in the foot. 22 00:01:18.159 --> 00:01:20.359 In his defense, he was trying to get sent home 23 00:01:20.400 --> 00:01:22.120 from the front back to Blakey. 24 00:01:28.159 --> 00:01:31.640 Yes, poor old Tommy Nigas had to stag on once 25 00:01:31.680 --> 00:01:35.040 again holding the horses for the office of class and if. 26 00:01:35.519 --> 00:01:41.120 You were young, I don't know, Normandy or something the 27 00:01:41.120 --> 00:01:42.840 First World Western Front. 28 00:01:44.799 --> 00:01:47.319 Can we one day do the episode where Callum says 29 00:01:47.359 --> 00:01:49.319 the things he knows about history, but we tried to 30 00:01:49.359 --> 00:01:51.519 work out the order in which he knows them. 31 00:01:51.719 --> 00:01:53.680 Yeah, yeah, cool? 32 00:01:55.319 --> 00:01:57.719 That king wasn't there? This is the first one? 33 00:01:58.000 --> 00:02:04.400 Nry one, two three, Henry the eighth was is the 34 00:02:04.439 --> 00:02:05.239 more recent one? 35 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:08.599 Isn't he? Have you heard the room the higher number? 36 00:02:09.199 --> 00:02:14.039 And I don't agree the rumor that when they released 37 00:02:14.199 --> 00:02:17.960 the film The Madness of King George, that they had 38 00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:20.800 to for American release. It was originally called The Madness 39 00:02:20.800 --> 00:02:24.479 of King George the Third Right, and they had to 40 00:02:24.759 --> 00:02:27.479 change it to the Madness of King George because the 41 00:02:27.520 --> 00:02:31.039 American audience wanted to know where episodes two and one were. 42 00:02:33.240 --> 00:02:35.159 It sounds plausible enough to do. 43 00:02:35.240 --> 00:02:39.039 You know that McDonald's were the ones that won the 44 00:02:39.800 --> 00:02:45.039 race because Burger King did a higher fraction of beef 45 00:02:45.120 --> 00:02:48.319 patty for the same amount of money, but to the 46 00:02:48.360 --> 00:02:53.080 Americans that a quarter pounder seemed like more, even though 47 00:02:53.479 --> 00:03:00.560 that's not how fractions work. So yeah, I get this 48 00:03:00.599 --> 00:03:02.000 in marketing stuff all the time. 49 00:03:02.199 --> 00:03:04.080 When people suggest things. 50 00:03:04.159 --> 00:03:08.439 I'm like, you're assuming that most of your audience is bright, 51 00:03:08.680 --> 00:03:12.199 and I have to tell you they are not. They 52 00:03:12.280 --> 00:03:15.240 need it spoon fed to them like they are a baby. 53 00:03:15.400 --> 00:03:18.120 And even then some might slip through the cracks. 54 00:03:18.560 --> 00:03:21.840 Yeah. Yeah. The number of things that you buy which 55 00:03:21.879 --> 00:03:25.840 are clearly for cleaning bathrooms and it's got do not 56 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:29.719 drink written on there. You have to have to come 57 00:03:29.719 --> 00:03:33.840 to the conclusion that at some point somebody has drunk 58 00:03:33.879 --> 00:03:39.680 this thing called toilet Duck or you know the I 59 00:03:39.719 --> 00:03:43.879 don't know, bog Buster, and they have drunk this thing. 60 00:03:43.759 --> 00:03:46.000 And the cleaning products in that. 61 00:03:46.800 --> 00:03:49.919 Yeah, yeah, I know bog Buster, that well known brand. 62 00:03:50.159 --> 00:03:54.159 I'd buy Richard Nigus's signature bog Buster Lifeguard. 63 00:03:54.560 --> 00:03:55.639 Yes, they would be very good. 64 00:03:55.680 --> 00:03:58.439 That brings us round to this week's sponsor. 65 00:03:59.039 --> 00:04:01.960 Use the code bog Buster to ten for ten percent 66 00:04:02.039 --> 00:04:06.680 of on your dex purchase by an industrial pack of ten. 67 00:04:07.439 --> 00:04:11.639 Yeah, you bend if you want to, right anyway, Look, 68 00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:13.599 let's get on with the show. I want to know 69 00:04:13.719 --> 00:04:18.079 because you see, whilst you were preparing your large glass 70 00:04:18.079 --> 00:04:23.879 of Coca cola, there cat diet Richard was telling me 71 00:04:23.959 --> 00:04:27.079 that he had a good wildlife story. So what have 72 00:04:27.120 --> 00:04:30.079 you been up to this week, Richard, and what wildlife 73 00:04:30.079 --> 00:04:31.000 did it involve? 74 00:04:32.920 --> 00:04:36.399 Well, Richard, this week, I'd quite like to have been 75 00:04:36.439 --> 00:04:39.160 on the sort of a nineteen eighties nineteen ninety Blue 76 00:04:39.199 --> 00:04:40.040 Peter program. 77 00:04:40.199 --> 00:04:43.279 Yeah, Janet ellis have been two like a stoked. 78 00:04:44.959 --> 00:04:48.519 Well, there's an image for everyone at home. I'm down 79 00:04:48.560 --> 00:04:51.600 to one crutch now, so I can hop around off road, 80 00:04:52.199 --> 00:04:53.959 which means I can go and visit all the things 81 00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:57.360 that I've been neglecting. And there's our bit of woodland 82 00:04:57.399 --> 00:04:59.759 where we run our wild food and wild food sort 83 00:04:59.759 --> 00:05:03.839 of cookery quarters. Our next one is in July because 84 00:05:03.839 --> 00:05:06.319 we've had to push them back a bit. So I 85 00:05:06.319 --> 00:05:08.079 had to go and visit the Hot Smoker. So the 86 00:05:08.079 --> 00:05:12.120 Hot Smoker, as you may remember for previous episodes, is 87 00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:16.959 big wooden box upon them upon stilts. So I went 88 00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:20.360 to visit it last week and you sort of get 89 00:05:20.399 --> 00:05:24.399 her at an uninched door and open it and there 90 00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:28.360 was a very confused looking mouse living at the bottom 91 00:05:28.360 --> 00:05:30.560 of it, and sort of it stopped and stared at me. 92 00:05:30.959 --> 00:05:32.920 So to this mouse, it would have been like if 93 00:05:32.959 --> 00:05:35.360 I just went up to your house now and opened 94 00:05:35.399 --> 00:05:38.560 up the side fit just pulled it all open, and 95 00:05:38.600 --> 00:05:41.360 there's this huge thing staring at you, and it sort 96 00:05:41.360 --> 00:05:43.639 of scuttled off to somewhere else. And then I looked 97 00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:46.120 up and realized there's a wasp nest at the top. 98 00:05:46.319 --> 00:05:49.399 So I thought we'd have to deal with one species 99 00:05:49.439 --> 00:05:52.879 at a time, although my friend did suggest that we 100 00:05:53.319 --> 00:05:55.959 I tell the wasps that the mice are invading their territory, 101 00:05:55.959 --> 00:05:58.759 and tell the mice that the wasps are invading theirs, 102 00:05:58.759 --> 00:06:02.399 and let them sort each other out. So I went 103 00:06:02.480 --> 00:06:04.959 back a few days later. So I just trying to 104 00:06:04.959 --> 00:06:06.959 empty all this thing out, because there's all the shelves 105 00:06:06.959 --> 00:06:10.680 and the racking and the thermometers in there, and we keep 106 00:06:11.680 --> 00:06:14.720 kindling in there for because it's the driest place in 107 00:06:14.720 --> 00:06:16.800 the woods, so we keep kindling in there in the 108 00:06:16.839 --> 00:06:19.480 winter in case you want to start a fire quickly. 109 00:06:19.600 --> 00:06:22.199 And that's sort of in this big paper bag. So 110 00:06:22.399 --> 00:06:24.120 I cleared all the bottom pit out I couldn't find any 111 00:06:24.160 --> 00:06:26.720 mouse ness clear the top bit, couldn't find anything. So 112 00:06:26.720 --> 00:06:29.639 I sorted, I pulled the bag of kindling out and 113 00:06:29.680 --> 00:06:32.560 as I'm stood there, I've put my crutch down. I'm 114 00:06:32.560 --> 00:06:35.079 sort of balancing on the one good leg, and somebody 115 00:06:35.120 --> 00:06:39.079 else is doing some other tasks somewhere nearby. And I'd 116 00:06:39.120 --> 00:06:42.959 opened this big paper feed sack and put my hand 117 00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:46.360 in it and feel something warm and wriggling, and I 118 00:06:46.439 --> 00:06:50.759 realized the mice have made their home in this feedsack. 119 00:06:51.480 --> 00:06:55.720 And that's the point. About six mice all erupted from 120 00:06:55.759 --> 00:06:58.879 the bag at the same time and sort of wrad 121 00:06:58.920 --> 00:07:00.959 up my arms, onto my head, head and all over 122 00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:03.600 the place. And as my friend who is at camp 123 00:07:03.680 --> 00:07:05.680 described it, he said, it looked like you were a 124 00:07:05.720 --> 00:07:09.560 wizard casting fireballs, but instead of fireballs, you were firing 125 00:07:09.800 --> 00:07:16.879 mice off in different while screaming. So the mice are 126 00:07:16.879 --> 00:07:21.319 no longer in the smoker cabinet, and you can throw 127 00:07:21.360 --> 00:07:23.879 a mouse quite a long way when you're in a panic. 128 00:07:23.959 --> 00:07:26.560 It turns out, I'm sure they're all okay. 129 00:07:27.120 --> 00:07:30.680 It's probably a sport in America, the honest mouse tossing 130 00:07:30.839 --> 00:07:31.959 or something like that. 131 00:07:33.439 --> 00:07:34.519 You did tweezers for that. 132 00:07:34.920 --> 00:07:37.079 Don't get how tough you are, but if a rat 133 00:07:37.879 --> 00:07:43.680 or a mouse comes at you, it's very unpleasant. It's unnerving. 134 00:07:44.199 --> 00:07:46.399 No no one should be like, oh, that's okay. Yeah, 135 00:07:46.399 --> 00:07:52.120 they're quick and also quite repulsive. They're not They're not 136 00:07:52.319 --> 00:07:54.079 nice things you want close to you. 137 00:07:54.120 --> 00:07:55.000 Even a little. 138 00:07:54.720 --> 00:08:00.800 Mouse are quite keen on mice, but just anything rodent 139 00:08:00.879 --> 00:08:02.399 e coming at you not great. 140 00:08:02.720 --> 00:08:05.639 Have you never had a pet from nature? When I 141 00:08:05.800 --> 00:08:10.720 was young, I was obsessed with I'd catch phil voles 142 00:08:11.319 --> 00:08:17.839 and contain those quite easily. Wood mice were fnickitty little 143 00:08:17.839 --> 00:08:20.560 things you could put them. I had a large sort 144 00:08:20.560 --> 00:08:23.720 of empty obviously not with water in fish tank, and 145 00:08:23.759 --> 00:08:26.319 I put wood mice in there, but they really didn't 146 00:08:27.000 --> 00:08:31.759 Richard Nugas, Yes, exactly swim your blighters, but they they were. 147 00:08:31.759 --> 00:08:38.039 But I had a jackdaw, a crow, numerous grass snakes, 148 00:08:39.120 --> 00:08:42.159 all sorts of things that I sort of would find. 149 00:08:42.639 --> 00:08:45.919 I always wanted a weasel because I know that a 150 00:08:45.919 --> 00:08:48.840 friend of mine had a tame fox, and he said, 151 00:08:49.000 --> 00:08:51.799 if you get them when they're cubs and they're still black, 152 00:08:52.039 --> 00:08:54.679 then they're tameable. Once i've turned red, that's it. There 153 00:08:55.480 --> 00:08:58.440 there are fox and they don't want to be tamed. 154 00:08:58.840 --> 00:09:03.440 And you'll had a pet badger as well. But he said, oh, 155 00:09:03.480 --> 00:09:05.240 I think you can do it. Weasels, he said, they're 156 00:09:05.279 --> 00:09:07.799 just like a ferret, and I. 157 00:09:07.559 --> 00:09:09.559 Tried passing this law onto you. 158 00:09:10.320 --> 00:09:14.039 So I tried. I tried. It's just chut GPT. I 159 00:09:14.120 --> 00:09:17.240 just tried finding weasel nests and never managed to find 160 00:09:18.559 --> 00:09:21.799 one that had a sort of attamable age. And my 161 00:09:21.879 --> 00:09:23.559 dog used to hunt them out, and you could find 162 00:09:23.559 --> 00:09:26.840 a weasel nest fair easy in a hedge, but never 163 00:09:26.879 --> 00:09:29.080 managed to find them when they weren't sort of little 164 00:09:29.080 --> 00:09:30.039 pink griggly things. 165 00:09:30.159 --> 00:09:32.720 How does one go about finding a weasel. 166 00:09:32.399 --> 00:09:38.720 Nest hedge bottoms? Largely that's where they will have a 167 00:09:38.799 --> 00:09:42.840 nest up up north, they nest in dry stone walls, 168 00:09:42.879 --> 00:09:45.279 but we'd have them in a hedge bottom and they'll 169 00:09:45.320 --> 00:09:47.720 sort of go into little hollows in in sort of 170 00:09:47.759 --> 00:09:49.879 rotten old bit of howthorn, and they have them in there. 171 00:09:51.279 --> 00:09:56.440 Dog that was absolutely mustard hunting weasels, and with Mark 172 00:09:56.519 --> 00:09:59.720 where one was terrier, I called skip and you could 173 00:09:59.720 --> 00:10:01.120 rely up on it and then you'd sort of have 174 00:10:01.159 --> 00:10:02.960 a bit of foot around and then you'd find this 175 00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:06.360 a little load of pink that worms basically, and then 176 00:10:06.840 --> 00:10:09.039 and then you go but that's too young. I've never 177 00:10:09.039 --> 00:10:11.000 managed to find them when they were just baby enough. 178 00:10:11.000 --> 00:10:13.960 So I could snaffle one and time tame it. It's 179 00:10:14.000 --> 00:10:17.120 one of my It's one of my great if you 180 00:10:17.159 --> 00:10:20.159 know regrets in life is I never had a tame weasel. 181 00:10:20.440 --> 00:10:24.919 Well maybe at a live show, we'll let you recount 182 00:10:24.960 --> 00:10:27.120 that story and then we'll give you a but he's 183 00:10:27.200 --> 00:10:29.320 here with us tonight. 184 00:10:31.480 --> 00:10:36.840 Whiskers is here yay? Or you have a weasel caram Yeah. 185 00:10:36.840 --> 00:10:39.480 So if anyone has one of our listeners has got 186 00:10:40.360 --> 00:10:41.679 a young weasel, that they. 187 00:10:41.679 --> 00:10:48.879 Please send it to rich Nigs number one, windsor Castle. 188 00:10:49.519 --> 00:10:53.799 Yeah. I go under my other name of the King. Yes. 189 00:10:53.960 --> 00:10:56.159 So what have you done this week? You have? You 190 00:10:56.200 --> 00:10:58.919 been covered in mice and wasps? Callum. 191 00:10:59.240 --> 00:11:00.639 I was gonna I was going to give you my 192 00:11:00.720 --> 00:11:07.080 story of my favorite wild pet. I kept a slow 193 00:11:07.080 --> 00:11:09.279 worm because it looked like it wasn't doing too well, 194 00:11:10.799 --> 00:11:12.240 so I kept it in. 195 00:11:13.960 --> 00:11:15.320 Just like a tank. 196 00:11:15.600 --> 00:11:18.799 I knew something that had like a reptile tank and 197 00:11:18.919 --> 00:11:21.759 stuck it in there and then just kept feeding it 198 00:11:21.879 --> 00:11:26.240 worms and slugs and odd bits, and it did quite 199 00:11:26.240 --> 00:11:28.559 well for a long time, and then eventually I did 200 00:11:28.600 --> 00:11:31.200 release it back into the wild. I kept it for 201 00:11:32.240 --> 00:11:34.159 a long old time and it seemed to do pretty well. 202 00:11:34.519 --> 00:11:37.799 It quite liked it in its little little thing. I 203 00:11:37.879 --> 00:11:39.480 just had it in the living room knocking about. 204 00:11:39.759 --> 00:11:42.039 Didn't have a little smile on their face, but like 205 00:11:42.600 --> 00:11:47.759 I found. And I was up in Weirdale the other week. 206 00:11:48.320 --> 00:11:52.879 I found a common lizard up there and it looked 207 00:11:52.879 --> 00:11:54.240 at me, and I looked it in and this funny 208 00:11:54.279 --> 00:11:56.240 little smile on its face, and I thought, oh, it's 209 00:11:56.679 --> 00:11:59.440 the exact same smile that you see on a slow 210 00:11:59.440 --> 00:12:05.759 worm when you unsurprising lipless grin. It's got fair. Do 211 00:12:05.799 --> 00:12:09.320 you know that's interesting that? Actually? So do you find 212 00:12:09.440 --> 00:12:11.679 slow worms about anymore? 213 00:12:11.960 --> 00:12:17.679 No, there used to be one place it used to 214 00:12:17.679 --> 00:12:18.519 be actually full of them. 215 00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:20.919 I haven't seen a slow one for years. 216 00:12:21.159 --> 00:12:24.200 I've not seen a slow worm. I've not seen grass 217 00:12:24.200 --> 00:12:27.399 snakes about as much. I'm seeing adders, you know, it 218 00:12:27.519 --> 00:12:30.039 seems to be. And I went up onto a grouse 219 00:12:30.120 --> 00:12:37.159 moll the other day and I found a common lizard. 220 00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:41.159 The my pals, the keeper up there, sent me a 221 00:12:41.320 --> 00:12:44.679 picture of you just lifted up a water drinker that 222 00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:48.240 he's got up there, and a press though there's a 223 00:12:48.320 --> 00:12:51.120 slow worm under it. He got bitten by an adder 224 00:12:51.279 --> 00:12:54.039 last year he found three basking on there. Note that 225 00:12:54.120 --> 00:12:58.159 this place is crawling with reptiles up there, bearing in 226 00:12:58.200 --> 00:12:59.960 mind that this was on a piece of heather which 227 00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:03.279 we were on, which they've burnt two years ago. So 228 00:13:03.320 --> 00:13:05.720 if you read all the narrative, apparently one of the 229 00:13:05.720 --> 00:13:09.919 reasons why we've got to stop mirburn is because it 230 00:13:10.080 --> 00:13:15.679 kills all these adders and slow worms and other assorted reptiles. 231 00:13:15.879 --> 00:13:20.320 And the only place I've seen reptiles in profusion is 232 00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:23.440 up on a grouse more where they have just recently 233 00:13:23.440 --> 00:13:28.440 done merburn. So either someone's telling this porky pies or 234 00:13:29.240 --> 00:13:32.879 or it doesn't kill stuff. I don't know. It's very 235 00:13:33.039 --> 00:13:34.039 peculiar at. 236 00:13:34.720 --> 00:13:38.360 Well, maybe it's the thing about upward mobility within the 237 00:13:38.399 --> 00:13:41.600 class system, because you've got your fewer common lizards, but 238 00:13:41.639 --> 00:13:44.080 presumably they've all moved out to Suffolk to become middle 239 00:13:44.080 --> 00:13:46.080 class lists middle classes. 240 00:13:46.559 --> 00:13:49.840 We don't really have middle class here. We don't have them. 241 00:13:49.879 --> 00:13:54.960 We have sort of drop say that again, yeah, we 242 00:13:55.000 --> 00:13:58.519 don't have middle class people here. We have drop out hippie. 243 00:13:58.600 --> 00:14:00.440 You're in an orangeury. 244 00:14:00.679 --> 00:14:04.759 This is my study. Middle class people don't have studies. 245 00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:09.200 It's the wholey handed working class. How much ikea furniture 246 00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:12.360 is in your house? Do you know what a turkey 247 00:14:12.399 --> 00:14:16.279 twizzler is. I know what a pheasant twizzler is. I 248 00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:19.240 don't have any Ikea furniture. No, we used to have 249 00:14:19.360 --> 00:14:20.759 Ikea furniture case. 250 00:14:21.360 --> 00:14:22.759 But no further questions. 251 00:14:22.799 --> 00:14:28.840 You're it's it's my nineteenth wedding anniversary today. And I'm 252 00:14:28.879 --> 00:14:31.879 of the firm belief that basically, you get rid of 253 00:14:32.039 --> 00:14:37.639 all your Ikea furniture after your seventh wedding anniversary because 254 00:14:37.679 --> 00:14:40.679 by seven years, the chances are you're probably going to 255 00:14:40.720 --> 00:14:43.399 stay married, so you might as well get stuff you 256 00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:46.879 both like, right, Whereas if you're going to go and 257 00:14:46.879 --> 00:14:49.080 wait for that first six years of marriage, you know, 258 00:14:49.159 --> 00:14:51.639 you might go think ass is a stupid idea. So 259 00:14:51.679 --> 00:14:53.679 if you bought Ikea, it doesn't matter, because you're not 260 00:14:53.679 --> 00:14:56.639 going to go and feel, you know that emotionally attached 261 00:14:56.679 --> 00:15:00.440 to a dining room table, which is called a flack 262 00:15:00.519 --> 00:15:01.559 blad or something. 263 00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:04.360 You're telling it. It took you onto your nearly eighth 264 00:15:04.399 --> 00:15:06.799 wedding anniversary before you were sure about Claire. Is that 265 00:15:06.799 --> 00:15:07.320 what you're saying? 266 00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:09.360 No, No, no, that is not what that sounds like. 267 00:15:09.399 --> 00:15:10.720 That's what he said, didn't he? Come on? 268 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:12.759 I'm pretty sure that's exactly what he said. 269 00:15:12.879 --> 00:15:16.840 Ed ya, If I did say that, edit that out immediately, 270 00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:19.440 because I want to see the twentieth wedding anniversary? 271 00:15:19.480 --> 00:15:20.840 What is twenty years? 272 00:15:20.960 --> 00:15:21.159 Isn't? 273 00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:23.799 Doesn't it get more and more disappointing. 274 00:15:23.200 --> 00:15:26.480 Like it's like tin, It's like an old Chris packet, 275 00:15:26.759 --> 00:15:28.720 you know, armpacket of fags or something. 276 00:15:28.919 --> 00:15:32.519 What you get injected with adamantium. You're just your broke 277 00:15:32.600 --> 00:15:33.919 bones don't break anymore. 278 00:15:34.399 --> 00:15:39.399 My I believe that the nineteenth Wedding Anniversary is bronze. 279 00:15:39.759 --> 00:15:41.480 You are correct, it is bronze. 280 00:15:41.679 --> 00:15:44.120 Yeah. Yeah, I did check a week or so ago, 281 00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:47.519 thinking should I get something bronze? I think no, So 282 00:15:47.600 --> 00:15:50.759 I took a lunch in the Angel embarrass and Edmonds instead. 283 00:15:50.799 --> 00:15:52.000 So that was that was nicer. 284 00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:54.799 This is fascinating glimpses into the way you live your 285 00:15:54.799 --> 00:15:57.960 life and your decision making process. That's why, that's why 286 00:15:57.960 --> 00:15:59.960 I keep coming back week after week. 287 00:16:01.679 --> 00:16:06.840 There's so much every every just every decisions. 288 00:16:07.279 --> 00:16:10.919 Who wouldn't like to go for lunch in a beautiful 289 00:16:10.919 --> 00:16:16.240 old Georgian hotel you know where Dickens wrote the Pickwick 290 00:16:16.440 --> 00:16:21.480 papers and Martin Chuzzlewit and yeah, I mean it's great 291 00:16:21.759 --> 00:16:23.799 or would you like to have this random object from 292 00:16:23.879 --> 00:16:30.519 bronze because some marketing man from some good company who 293 00:16:30.559 --> 00:16:36.759 sells stuff to people who who do wedding anniversary gifts. No, 294 00:16:36.919 --> 00:16:39.240 I'm not bowing down to you. What is what do 295 00:16:39.240 --> 00:16:41.720 you have to buy for your twentieth What's what's the 296 00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:44.279 twentieth wedding anniversary gift? Them? 297 00:16:44.320 --> 00:16:47.000 You've got here china or porcelain. 298 00:16:47.559 --> 00:16:50.000 Okay, that'd be nice for a potter to give us 299 00:16:50.039 --> 00:16:52.720 that this is made by someone else. 300 00:16:53.639 --> 00:16:59.080 Who gives some china clay dig out the pits of 301 00:16:59.200 --> 00:17:00.600 toxicity Cornwall. 302 00:17:00.679 --> 00:17:02.240 Yeah, I'm going to say that'd be nice here we're 303 00:17:02.240 --> 00:17:06.519 going to We're going to Cornwall. That nice. Yes, I've 304 00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:11.480 booked us in on a mining trip. That'd be fun. Ye, 305 00:17:12.839 --> 00:17:16.279 common Canum. So other than taming slowworms, have you done 306 00:17:16.279 --> 00:17:17.640 anything contemporarily? 307 00:17:19.319 --> 00:17:24.079 I visited the County of Suffolk this week. We went 308 00:17:24.160 --> 00:17:28.400 back to right near Hadley, a little bit with the Marquis. 309 00:17:28.880 --> 00:17:29.799 Delightful food. 310 00:17:30.839 --> 00:17:34.400 I've enjoyed the sun if you've if you've seen it 311 00:17:34.440 --> 00:17:35.640 in the sky, it's been pretty. 312 00:17:36.599 --> 00:17:39.000 You were taking photos of women and bikinis at the pool. 313 00:17:41.000 --> 00:17:41.480 I didn't. 314 00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:45.720 It wasn't intentional, but some people, some people caught my 315 00:17:45.799 --> 00:17:49.880 Instagram story and a few people commented on something that 316 00:17:49.960 --> 00:17:52.880 was in the background, which I had no idea about. 317 00:17:54.720 --> 00:17:59.880 It was it was a lady's buttocks, and a few 318 00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:02.519 people commented on it, and I just I just commented 319 00:18:02.559 --> 00:18:03.640 back one for the fans. 320 00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:06.759 So I mean, yeah, have. 321 00:18:06.799 --> 00:18:11.759 You ever have you ever inadvertently taken a photograph when 322 00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:16.759 you realize that somebody either famous or not famous, is 323 00:18:16.799 --> 00:18:19.559 doing something in the background and go, oh dear, that's 324 00:18:19.599 --> 00:18:22.319 a lawsuit waiting to happen. You ever taken a shot 325 00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:23.559 when Yeah, so many. 326 00:18:24.160 --> 00:18:28.200 I've got a hard drive full of loads of stuff, 327 00:18:29.319 --> 00:18:35.559 like celebrities doing things they shouldn't do, just people in 328 00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:42.200 high places doing things, not like career ending anything terrible, 329 00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:47.119 but like, if you've done your job job properly, people 330 00:18:47.160 --> 00:18:51.480 relax to a point that they will show you behind 331 00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:54.079 the curtain. And if they show you behind the curtain, 332 00:18:54.519 --> 00:19:00.039 that could be yeah, taken out of context, but you 333 00:19:00.119 --> 00:19:03.160 know that's that's that's the job, really cha to make 334 00:19:03.200 --> 00:19:06.720 people chill out and yeah and do those sorts of 335 00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:07.880 things cool. 336 00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:10.559 Then there's also the photos where that person was doing 337 00:19:10.599 --> 00:19:13.680 something that they thought was absolutely okay, But because they didn't, 338 00:19:14.279 --> 00:19:16.839 you know, you weren't socially aware or anything like that, 339 00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:19.720 you decided yourself, for the sake of their reputation to 340 00:19:19.759 --> 00:19:21.359 not share it or not edit that one. 341 00:19:22.319 --> 00:19:25.160 I mean, some people, like some people that you know 342 00:19:25.359 --> 00:19:28.079 and respect, they'll do things and you're like, it's like 343 00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:30.519 your first day on the planet and you've only just 344 00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:34.000 worked out that you've got hands and like to do things, 345 00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:38.160 and you think like you're idolized by people. People think 346 00:19:38.200 --> 00:19:41.160 you're the best, and you're not actually able to function 347 00:19:41.319 --> 00:19:45.160 like a regular human being, and you sort of it. Really, 348 00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:48.000 you do have the option to spoil the illusion of 349 00:19:48.039 --> 00:19:49.000 a lot of people. 350 00:19:50.279 --> 00:19:54.720 Agreed. I mean, I was telling Richard, I'm currently reading 351 00:19:55.079 --> 00:20:00.480 middle Land by Rory Stewart, and when Rory's Stewart was 352 00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:04.880 going for the leader of the Conservative Party, they decided 353 00:20:04.960 --> 00:20:08.519 to do these head to head things in a studio 354 00:20:08.839 --> 00:20:12.039 and they'd clearly said, right, well, how are going to work. 355 00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:14.720 This is going to get the camera to pan on 356 00:20:14.839 --> 00:20:17.559 each of your faces. You've got a whole eye contact 357 00:20:17.559 --> 00:20:20.160 with the camera for five seconds, and it's going to 358 00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:22.920 pan from left to right, and so you've got Boris 359 00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:28.359 Johnson you've got uh, Theresa May, You've got Angela led 360 00:20:28.400 --> 00:20:33.039 Some and Michael Gove, and here is Rory Stewart and 361 00:20:33.200 --> 00:20:35.599 most of them they look slightly uncomfortable because suddenly I'm 362 00:20:35.640 --> 00:20:38.319 to stare into the camera and hold that contact and 363 00:20:38.359 --> 00:20:42.240 don't say anything but Rory Stewart's face. It is like, literally, 364 00:20:42.279 --> 00:20:47.000 they'd said, make yourself look like the least likely person 365 00:20:47.039 --> 00:20:50.400 who is shouldn't even lead a group of cub scouts 366 00:20:50.519 --> 00:20:55.599 into not a tying contest because he pulls this bizarre gun. 367 00:20:55.839 --> 00:20:57.799 And it was exactly like I say, no one, no 368 00:20:57.799 --> 00:20:59.799 one had actually explained to him, when you look at 369 00:20:59.799 --> 00:21:02.240 some thing, make a facial expression that doesn't make it 370 00:21:02.279 --> 00:21:06.440 look like a serial killer. It was. And he did 371 00:21:06.440 --> 00:21:09.279 actually write in a book say I think I lost 372 00:21:09.319 --> 00:21:13.920 my chance in that five second step. So yes, it 373 00:21:14.079 --> 00:21:17.200 is something that the people need to perhaps be aware 374 00:21:17.240 --> 00:21:19.480 of if they are going to be in the public eye, 375 00:21:19.839 --> 00:21:21.720 what you do with your hands and what you do 376 00:21:21.759 --> 00:21:22.720 with your face. 377 00:21:23.519 --> 00:21:26.960 Being able to practice a good neutral facial expression that 378 00:21:27.000 --> 00:21:32.319 would work for any occasion, you know, funeral day, in court, 379 00:21:32.839 --> 00:21:35.319 middle of an orgasm, whatever it would work for, you know, 380 00:21:35.359 --> 00:21:37.759 the same sort of facial expression that's just that's just 381 00:21:38.200 --> 00:21:39.960 all the way through. I think that's a talent. I 382 00:21:39.960 --> 00:21:41.920 think it's something to teach you at the right public school. 383 00:21:42.160 --> 00:21:46.039 Yeah, yeah, exactly, Yeah, speaking so many ways. 384 00:21:46.359 --> 00:21:50.519 Yes, or Jeremy Clarkson went to a public school. 385 00:21:50.559 --> 00:21:51.960 He went to rep that I believe. 386 00:21:52.480 --> 00:21:52.680 Yes. 387 00:21:52.799 --> 00:21:56.599 And as we record this on Tuesday, the twenty sixth 388 00:21:56.640 --> 00:22:01.079 of May, we're kind of overwhelmed by news stories about 389 00:22:01.079 --> 00:22:04.720 how crap Farmfest was. Yeah, if you believe all the 390 00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:06.920 new stories. So I think we should talk about that 391 00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:09.119 for a bit. So did either of you know it 392 00:22:09.200 --> 00:22:11.079 was on? That's the first question. 393 00:22:11.160 --> 00:22:13.839 No, to be perfect, it was something that sort of 394 00:22:14.319 --> 00:22:17.160 flashed up on my Funny enough. The only reason I 395 00:22:17.240 --> 00:22:20.279 knew it was on was because the no Farmers, No 396 00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:24.119 Food WhatsApp group has got some sort of high profileish 397 00:22:24.160 --> 00:22:27.960 farmers and they were saying, you going to this thing? 398 00:22:28.599 --> 00:22:30.400 Have you been asked for this? Have you been asked 399 00:22:30.440 --> 00:22:32.599 to this? What thing? And they went all this and 400 00:22:32.640 --> 00:22:35.759 it went back up the thread thirty sort of days before, 401 00:22:36.319 --> 00:22:38.599