Speaker 1: Now, to her credit, I have to say, we took.
Speaker 2: A look at the dish soap that they use, and
we all know what olive oil looks like. What kind
of other world shit is happening where the dish soap?
Is this sodden, dead brown liquid that looks like shitty
olive oil. It's so confusing to me.
Speaker 3: I have a dare I say a better question? Why
are you using the exact same container to store both liquids?
Speaker 2: And why are they.
Speaker 3: Next to each other without a fucking label?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not.
Speaker 3: It's not if it's going to happen, it's when you
fucking dumb sea rat.
Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to back TV. I'm Dylan.
Speaker 3: That's pat great to be here. Permission to come aboard.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you did you when you walked in here?
Speaker 1: Did you think that it's stunk?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: Really really, because let me tell you it was. It
was feted in here was absolutely disgusting. I walk in.
Kalyn's sitting there with the most relaxed posture. I mean,
man spreading all over the place, just a disgusting site.
I got stinks in here, he goes, I had zangku,
I go you ate the Zanku in here he goes.
Speaker 1: No, I've been burping it up.
Speaker 3: That's a guy for you.
Speaker 2: Kln is here as well. Hello, Hey, everyone, Welcome to
the show. Patreon dot km slash another podcast network Summer
House Summer House Baby, also Rhode Island our favorite New Housewives.
Speaker 3: What can we say for everyone in that entire state
municipality is having sex with a guy named Dino.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and each other, And but Dino is the Ganghis
Khan of the what is it called crane? It's a
stop that I don't know the towns yet.
Speaker 3: I think it's one of those things where it's like
he was born to have sex with a lot of
people just by his given name. Dino, right, right, right.
If your name is Dino, you're gonna have sex with it.
I guess at least one hundred people.
Speaker 2: Is there a Boogie Knights thing? Is there? Is there
a Dino in Boogie Knights?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: I don't think so. No Dino and Boogie Knights. Well, anyways,
it's a great season and everyone's banging everybody. You know,
when we have depictions of incests, it's usually some kind
of mongrels in the desert mountains, you know, where the backwoods.
Speaker 1: No, it's happening.
Speaker 2: It's happening in Rhode Island right now. It's actually on
Real House five, So that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1: How are you doing? And what did you think of
this episode?
Speaker 3: Below deck? Oh? So many thoughts. And I think this
is one of the best episodes definitely of this season,
possibly of the calendar year.
Speaker 2: In a long time. And I think that it sets
the show up for a lot of fun.
Speaker 3: Absolutely a comedy of errors. I mean, we've seen levels
of incompetence that have just blown our mind before, but
dish soap in the scrambled eggs.
Speaker 2: Well on the top, it was a garnish, all right,
fair enough? Yeah, and there was a fuck ton of it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mikey heard you're a nice guy. I
haven't seen any part of that. And you're a big
fuck up. Wowsa you a fuck up? My god? And
then I lastly, I completely understand why the yachting industry
as a whole really despises this television program. It makes it.
It makes you guys look bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3: And then I want to finally thank the listener the
Barnacle that came out and said, yes, Pat you have
seen Tyler the before. He's the human Ken doll that
was on the television show Botched. He came in there.
He wants to look like the Ken Doll. Now he
states that he's twenty eight years old. I have I
have doubts about that. I think he's much older.
Speaker 2: Wait, watched he wasn't on Swan he was Unbotched.
Speaker 3: Wow, boy, No, Swan was twenty years ago or more? No, no,
no watched. I think their last season was like three
years ago.
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: And pots Pots, Oh god god, I mean we have
Game of Ores going on. It's an insane episode. Yeah,
I'm gonna give it fourteen fourteen? Is that good? Fourteen?
Speaker 2: You know that upsets me and the fans. You know,
I'm sorry. I was on my I was fiddling around
on my laptop over there because I forgot that tonight
I want to play clip. It's really important that we
play Joao's conversation with Ellie because it is some of
the most dot said sicle words period.
Speaker 1: From a man.
Speaker 2: That's the end of the sentence.
Speaker 3: And you know what's great about that conversation. We'll probably
analyze quite a bit of it, is that the great
part of men and women. They both walk away from
that conversation having completely different understandings about what took place there.
Speaker 2: Sure, so, as you mentioned a comedy of errors. I'm
so excited to get to the sushi. I'm so excited
to get to the food. I'm so excited to get
to the soap. I'm so excited to get to Mikey,
who we I think loathe. But it's important to say
that Mikey's complete inability to perceive this as a work
environment is baffling, frustrating, I would imagine, but great television.
I mean tonight we had a sea rat go to
each and every one of the paying guests and try
to make them swear a blood of to him. We've
never seen anything like that. Okay, I'm going to give
it fourteen pumps too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, great episode.
Speaker 2: Really, really good episode, Calen, how many pots would you
give it?
Speaker 4: Give it ninety eight pots? That's really It's a good episode.
So he kicked things off with the night beach dinner.
Speaker 2: Alicia spills the tea to Daisy. As we saw last
week that Joao quote unquote has a thing for her. No,
Daisy says that Ellie has marked her territory already. And
as we mentioned last week, marking Juwau is.
Speaker 1: Like marking a bucket of piss.
Speaker 2: There's no way to tell who has marked it or
even what it is.
Speaker 3: Wow, you know that's true. But there are two people
fighting for his love. I know Daisy's playing keeping it
close to the vest, but it is in fact a
game of war, is Dylan.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm not disputing that it is a
game of war.
Speaker 3: Yes, and the steaks are real ned. Stark getting his
chop head chopped off is nothing compared to what the
Balkan biscuit will do to Daisy if she finds out
that she likes.
Speaker 2: Jowell, quite honestly, quite literally. Maybe even chaos is a ladder.
It's game of wars. Now, let's get to the first
impression game at the dinner table. This is where you'd
like to go.
Speaker 3: Oh, sure, I'll go there. You know, I often think
about this, you know, because our gay counterparts we often
get separated from them, as they're more of a evolved creature,
a version of straight men. The gay guys.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know about that, but yeah, I mean
they have really admirable qualities. Oh absolutely, they smell incredible
for the most part.
Speaker 3: They do you ever see their lawns?
Speaker 2: It's been said when the gays move in by the
real estate. Oh absolutely.
Speaker 3: Also, they love women's fashion, Broadway musicals. There, they always
got a six.
Speaker 2: Pack, except for the bears. Sometimes the bears have a
bit of a ro ton gut, but it's not anything
like a beer gut or a dad bought. It's still
composed and full of fur.
Speaker 3: But that does not mean they're not savage. Sexual deviance.
Oh yeah, the straight guys, I guess we get a
little origin story how they all met.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, this would be.
Speaker 3: Dylan and I giving the same thing. Hey, where'd you
meet Dylan? Gang Bang? I saw as balls. First I
thought they were hummingbird eggs in a nest, and then
I realized they were his ball.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, that's an accurate description of my genitalia, but
just not that cute. It was quite an astonishing tale.
The friends met at an orgy.
Speaker 3: You've been to orgies, right, Well, No, I went to
a warehouse hangs sex party in a warehouse thing with
a girl, a girlfriend, and a bunch of friends.
Speaker 2: We just watched okay, and Kaylin has hosted hosted Wow. Yeah,
he's got a pretty important one. You know how there
are AA meetings with like more famous people than others.
His orgies have a lot of big names. Yep. I
was going to say a name, and then I thought,
you know, we might as well not get in trouble, right,
because that would be defanmatory because Kellon does not host orgies. Okay,
so the first time Nick met Luigi, he saw his cock.
He said it looked like an animal balloon, which is
kind of a horrifying image. And then he said that
his boyfriend had an even bigger dick than him. So
I was imagining like there's a dog and then there's
like a reptile or a dragon something that the clown
spits out. Either way, that's not what penises should look.
Speaker 3: Well he should have just said his boyfriend's dick was
so big that now it feels like he sat on
a fire hydrant.
Speaker 2: All right, we can move on. Now, let's move on
now for sure. Okay, So now, Daisy, remember she has
a wall. It is impenetrable, it is tall. That is
a wall you cannot leap over. So that thing that
Alicia brought up four minutes ago about y wow, you know.
Speaker 1: She said, it is my credo, it is my code.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to get involved, and that within I
don't think that the moon has even moved an inch.
She's just like, do you know what, Actually, I think
that this might be something I'd like to pursue. So
tonight is going to be cash, babe, It's going to
be cash.
Speaker 3: I love this.
Speaker 2: An enchanting dinner.
Speaker 3: You know, once again, I must give it to the
gays if they don't see that as any disrespect referring
to him in that manner. They have thought this out.
We have fire dancers, some food that's cooked on the.
Speaker 2: Spot these days have done it right, not some.
Speaker 3: Haphazardly wrapped up tuna, fish sandwiches and saran wrapped and
then driven over on a boat in a cooler.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, noah, I know.
Speaker 3: And then you have to see all those dogs walking
around during the daytime. Known, this is the way that
you do a picnic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Tyler was very clear about the menu, the festivities,
and that all of the dogs would be removed or
killed before they arrived to the beach. And can you
blame him, not at all? Okay, it's disgusting what straight
people put up with these dogs are climbing all over you.
You're eating warm chicken salad raps. It's disgusting. It's disgusting.
So it is lobster ribs, beautiful vegetables. Now when we're
doing like a cash evening, they can knock get out
of the park because this is all This is what
people want. Really, this kind of food, you know, this
is what makes you happy. But we'll get to the
sushi later. Again. It was the stuff of nightmares. It's
a lovely beached in. Uh. I think that he I
think that Ben excels because Ellie was not standing next
to him calling him gay slurs or whatever she does.
I think he was more focused.
Speaker 3: Can I say this about Ben too? I have done
a one eighty on this young man. He's won me over.
I like him now.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, this is really earnest, isn't that?
Speaker 3: Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't know if he's faking it.
Speaker 2: Or he's given up.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I like someone when they've given up then, yeah,
because it's the beginning of redemption.
Speaker 1: Well, it's at the beginning of a berth of new
for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah. If he can maintain this posture, this pacifistic kind
of approach. He could be a changed man. I have
an idea, though, Can we try just him on his own?
Does he need a fucking This is not going well
when he has people helping him. I think he's fine
on his own. Everyone, everyone, everyone. Today's episode is brought
to you by Blissy. They're a new sponsor. So what
do you do. You go, you show up, You support them,
because that's supporting us, right, And we're not just telling
you to go out and buy nothing. We're telling you
to get Blissy a good product, a very good product. Now, listen,
your pillow cases are disgusting. You know that they are.
Speaker 1: You know that, especially if you're a dude, especially if
you're a dude.
Speaker 2: But even if you're not a dude, you're listening to
this year. You know what, I actually do think that
I could upgrade my pillow cases because little known thing
cotton whatever you're using right now, creases in the face.
Oh yeah, in the face. It's not good for your skin.
Speaker 1: It's not good for your hair. You know what is
good for all those things?
Speaker 2: Blissy? Wow, Okay, let's talk.
Speaker 1: About the benefits of silk.
Speaker 2: Okay, and what we're trying to tell you is we
want you to live like Floyd Mayweather. Okay, ye get
silk pillowcases. You deserve it.
Speaker 3: Okay, I want to live like him.
Speaker 2: Naturally cooling, breathable, hydrating, hypoallergenic, dermatologists tested and recommended. They're
fully machine washable, okay, and they're social proof. Over three
million sold. Featured in Vogue, Oprah Daily, Good Morning America,
thirteen times award winning.
Speaker 1: This is a damn good product.
Speaker 3: Our listeners should really treat themselves.
Speaker 1: I think so too.
Speaker 2: So do you want to reduce fizz breakage? Do you
want to reduce fine lines wrinkles? Then do this because
you're a listener. Blissy is offering sixty nights risk free
plus an additional thirty percent off when you shop at
blissy dot com slash bad tv. That's b l I
s s y dot com slash bad tv and use
called bad tv to get an additional thirty percent off
your skin and your hair. Well, thank you, Thank you
Blissy for sponsoring the show The Fire Dancer or Nesto Arrives.
I kind of wish I was named er Nesto. It's
a fun name. I feel like you could instantly do
the splits if your name is or Nesto and he can.
Everyone takes their turn blowing fire, and Alicia really excels.
It had not show's words, not mine, you know what
I mean?
Speaker 1: Can you help me out here?
Speaker 2: I wasn't insinuating that it was a show's words, not mine.
Speaker 1: Okay, she was good at it.
Speaker 2: Anyways, it hasn't been going too hot. But let me
read this. Let me read this. It hasn't been going
too hot. And buldeck, she may want to turn into.
Speaker 1: A fire breather.
Speaker 2: Oh that's just good advice for sea rats.
Speaker 1: I think that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 3: Can I do a meanwhile?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Please?
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, Jenna and Eddie prove that nothing there's nothing a
young sea rat can't get past when faced with the
loneliness of the sea. If you'll remember Dylan. Two days ago,
Jenna had sworn off Eddie because he was texting they
didn't want anything to do with her and actually wanted
her roommate Alicia, who keeps stealing that stuffed penis dollar.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so crazy that she keeps doing that.
Speaker 1: Anyways, going well, and.
Speaker 3: Now today he's the greatest thing since sea rat. Slice bread, right,
and I think the I think the problem is is, well,
maybe problem with all my exes is that I should
have dated him on a boat.
Speaker 2: What would the sea rat slice bread be AfterAll espressopods, siggs?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Anyways, the guys get back to the boat, Jenna and
the guys laugh about Alicia being good at blowing. Okay,
and here in here in liesa moment where these boys
have gotten a little bit of gossip. Here they've sensed
the tension. They're going to jump on it. But then
we get to Mikey who continues to just be such
a little fuck.
Speaker 3: Okay, I all right, And this comes in later when
he drops that little secret about sneaking the stylus on board.
I honestly believe he's doing these things on purpose to agitate.
It's I don't know why people do this. I've I've
known a few people in my life that do things
intentionally to agitate. They cannot help them.
Speaker 2: So he's treating it like a show, which I appreciate.
He's he's it's manufactured, like he's going out of his
way to over dramatize stuff and be a little shithead,
which again I find annoying. What it's good TV. I
mean he literally blew the entire surprise and then went
around with the blood oh thing. I mean, it's crazy.
We we've never seen anything like it. It's absolutely insane.
Thank you Mikey. Wow. But he is a little fuck.
He tells Alisha that they go down and this is
where you mentioned he just has to agitate. He goes, oh,
we were just sonning. We were just hanging out and sonning.
And this really sets Alisha off. Daisy says it it's
He tells Daisy, I think that it's not his job
to clean the vessel.
Speaker 3: Something along those lines, something along, and now he pisses
off Daisy.
Speaker 2: Not only is it your responsibility to clean the vessel,
but whatever stains may come as a result of what's
transpiring on this boat, that's your responsibility too, whether it's
from you guys or any of the paying guests. Okay,
you've got to get down and dirty, buddy.
Speaker 3: Now we've contemplated a lot of sea rats who could
possibly be terminated on this vessel. This right now. If
I'm a betting man, it's Mikey.
Speaker 2: A pole position. Pole position. I think get fired.
Speaker 3: I think the ball can biscuit I think the worst
is behind her and Alicia. All her stuff is just personal,
personal issues. It's not a work thing anymore. Mikey gets
work and personal. You can't have both.
Speaker 2: I think they could both get shit can but we'll
see what happens. The Gays tell Alicia that Jenna had
a thing or two to say about her, and Alicia
tries to engage them in conversation, and multiple Sea Rotes
do this throughout this episode, and the Searets have to
be reminded.
Speaker 3: You were.
Speaker 2: Filthy Sea rats. You're not supposed to talk to these people.
They shut them down.
Speaker 1: Very very quickly.
Speaker 2: Throughout this episode, Alicia's trying to give her side of
the story, and they're just like, yeah, no, that's fine.
Speaker 1: We'll have a drink though.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we get to the next day. I believe. I'm
sorry if I missed anything.
Speaker 3: Now that's about it.
Speaker 2: Mikey gives Joel some life advice. He goes, you should
break with l even though I told you that you
could have her, even though she was really into me.
But I think that she would be better for you.
But you should for sure talk to her and break
up with her. He's just he's he's a bottomless pit
of life advice this kid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's unbelievable.
Speaker 3: Yeah, although I would, I don't know why Jawah would
feel compelled to do anything at this stage of the game.
Speaker 2: It's really bizarre. Yeah, yeah, it's really bizarre.
Speaker 3: Well, then Alicia once again steals Jenna's teddy bear penis.
And I know it doesn't seem like a big deal
that she's doing this, but this is, in fact the
third time. I think I've told this story before, but
when my Grammy we put her in the assisted living home,
eventually she began sneaking into the other guests rooms that
were in the assisted that she started stealing their dolls
and then hiding them under her bed. To be fair,
she was ninety five and didn't know what planet she
was on. So Alicia doing this has me asking a
lot of questions, sure, like where does milk come from?
Or how do you spell cat?
Speaker 2: You think that she would have a tough time answering
this question, or you're having a tough time answering this question.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, she we should we should ask her because
this behavior is odd.
Speaker 2: It is really odd. Yeah, yeah, I think if we
asked Alicia where milk came from. She would definitely not answer,
but she would get pretty upset. It'd be it would be, uh,
you know, how could you do this? How dare you
do this?
Speaker 1: And then walk off and we go.
Speaker 2: Wow, she still hasn't told us where milk comes from.
Speaker 3: So, Alestia, what day is it?
Speaker 2: Leave me alone? Well, come on, you got to answer something.
So we get to Tyler. Who did the fans say
is ripping him to pieces? Todd gout balls or something?
Todd goutballs. Remember Tyler's hass a he has a benefactor?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I think they said gout balls. That was
obviously just joking around.
Speaker 2: It's a joke.
Speaker 3: No, but someone was analyzing the hand around his shoulder
and they had said that it was very creepy, old,
very crip keeper. Yeah, so very old, okay old.
Speaker 2: So yeah, he's living it up. Man, He's paying a
makeup artist twelve k to sneak onto the boat and
do him in drag.
Speaker 3: Now here's my problem with this. Yeah, I forget what
the name of his makeup artist is.
Speaker 2: Forgive me, but I do not.
Speaker 3: Okay, if you're going to go to all the trouble
of sneaking him on the boat and then after dinner
disclose that he is in fact on the boat with you.
Doesn't that?
Speaker 2: Patrick? Can I tell you how confused I was by
the entire thing. I was very very confused by the
entire thing. I didn't know why he was sneaking him on.
I didn't know why it was such a big deal.
I didn't know why the guests were so unhappy with
You know, it was all very confusing.
Speaker 3: Right, Why would your makeup stylist, whatever guy he is,
be on the boat and then you announced that after
dinner that he happens to be here unless he was
in fact makeup?
Speaker 2: Is it a thing where it's rude to not pay
for the other people to get makeup?
Speaker 3: Perhaps that was the thing. Although aren't you floating this
whole benefactory.
Speaker 2: Going on here?
Speaker 1: So let's get to breakfast.
Speaker 3: Soft eggs served for a king or a disswasher. Ha ha
haa okay, the same thing.
Speaker 2: All right? Okay, we get soft scrammys with a little
pepper and olive oil. This is a classic preparation, okay,
one that I think anyone would welcome on their breakfast table.
The important thing, the important distinction here with this is
though that he is covered in dish soap, so it's
actually disgusting. Now, how did we arrive at this mishap?
Ben instructed his gally hand whatever we're calling galley assistant,
to adorn the soft scramby with olive oil. Now, to
her credit, I have to say, we took a look
at the dish soap that they use, and we all
know what olive oil looks like. What kind of other
world shit is happening where the dish soap is this sodden,
dead brown liquid that looks like shitty olive oil. It's
so confusing to me.
Speaker 3: I have a dare I say a better question? Why
are you using the exact same container to store both liquids?
And why are they next to each other without a
fucking label? Right, yeah, it's not. It's not if it's
going to happen. It's when you fucking dumb sea rats.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Now, now, now the guests go, hey, this tastes
like attempted murder. Actually, okay, this is what some of
Putin's guests taste.
Speaker 3: When this is what it felt like, and Putin said, hey,
it's great, a fine, keep eating.
Speaker 2: It's just covered in olive oil. Let don't know what
you're talking about. It's doused and olive oil. I don't
know what you're talking about.
Speaker 3: And they say, I think you're trying to poist me.
And then he says, look, you can eat the fucking
eggs and die this way, or there's a couple guys
behind the boat. They'll put cent to your feet and
throw you over the boat. So which way you want
to go?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's a tough negotiator.
Speaker 2: But the the paying guests go so again, this tasted
like we were gonna die if we eat all of it.
And Ben says, it's such a shame. Mm hmmm, it's
such a shame.
Speaker 3: Ben.
Speaker 2: I I agree, it is such a shame, but it's also.
Speaker 1: I mean, can we find a different word?
Speaker 2: You pour dish soap all over breakfast? That's he's so insane.
Speaker 3: Now, this is where this is where character comes in.
I think the old Ben that we had seen at
the beginning of this season would have started with calling
her names, and it wouldn't have been lovely no no no,
or honey or sweetie pie or whatever he was doing.
It would have been something more offensive, and then he
probably would have insisted that she be fired. The now
new Ben essentially took blame for it, accountability, yeah, and
didn't beat her up about it and said let's move on.
He's been a new he's been a new That speaks
character to me.
Speaker 2: He's no longer has been he's been a new.
Speaker 1: M Wow, that's beautiful.
Speaker 2: Well, he tells Ellie he's got her back. Very confusing
to me. I don't know why she's flew off a handle,
screamed at you, and then poured dishop all over the eggs.
It's kind of a two strike policy, I guess. But
unfortunately for Ellie, Captain j Man overhears them talking about
this little misshap, this little gift, and Ellie tells him,
you know, I'm really sorry, I'm really embarrassed, but I
actually I doubt their breakfast and dish set.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's like crazy, you don't hear that?
Speaker 2: And he goes you what you heard, correct, dish soap.
I covered it all in dish soap. And Jason walks
away and he says, and I quote, I'm actually really.
Speaker 1: Embarrassed about this.
Speaker 2: That's good. That's good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean acceptance, I think is the first is
the start of rectification, right, Yeah, Because Captain hotpants. Jason,
you are on a television show, but you are definitely
responsible for this. You're setting people up for failure. I mean,
Ellie's never been in a kitchen before.
Speaker 2: I'm actually really embarrassed about this. Okay, that's crazy. So
we get to a plan that has been hatched. All right,
while the guys are snorkeling, we're gonna sneak the makeup
artist on, and to complicate things, two, we're gonna stay
behind quite the wrench. Now, Daisy, in a wonderfully eighty
yard line, says over the radio, please remember to be
careful with the makeup artist.
Speaker 1: This is a secret. Okay, Now the makeup artist is
I thought at this point this was.
Speaker 2: Gonna be Daisy's fault because the plan that she comes
up with is to send the two behind on a
paddle board out into the waters where the dinghy is
coming to the boat from. It made no sense.
Speaker 3: Here's I have another idea. Put a gigantic raincoat on
the dude, right, you know, like I know he did
last summer, the guy with the hook, you know, just
call him an engineer, put some sunglasses on him, have
him walk on.
Speaker 2: What was that guy? That was? He? Like a dead
guy or no, that's.
Speaker 3: What's so horrible about that movie. No one ever knows
who it was.
Speaker 2: Calen, do you know the guy with the hook? Is
he like reanimated or did he just survive the car accident?
Speaker 3: I have not seen the movie, unfortunately, speaking of surviving
car accidents, you know who else was in that film?
Speaker 2: And hey, that's right? No, yeah, yeah, no way we
should have said speaking of not surviving car accident. Correct, sorry,
which we don't need to get into it. Rest in
peace and hash very troubled life, I will say, though,
not to get into the technicality.
Speaker 1: She did survive it.
Speaker 2: For a moment.
Speaker 1: It's weird and uh okay.
Speaker 3: It's all a very terrifying vision. We can all live
it for the rest of our lives, all right.
Speaker 1: So anyways, let's get to sushi because.
Speaker 2: Everybody gets back from history cling, the makeup artist arrives,
it all goes off without any well hitch.
Speaker 3: Well kind of is this when Mikey drops the diner?
Speaker 2: Okay, we're gonna be driving the dime at sushi lunch.
Sushi lunch is haphazardly cut and plated, and I would
implore everyone to pause when Daisy sets down the platter
because we really have to take a look at this
sushi platter. Now I've taken a photo of it. Can
you take a look at this please, because I've committed
it to memory. Okay. Now you'll notice first that the
rice is stripped off of the majority of the pieces. Okay.
Speaker 3: Also, King Kong would choke on this, Okay, So maybe
you're thinking that this was a stylistic choice that half
the rice is just ripped off, almost as if the
wind got to it.
Speaker 2: But multiple other pieces of sushi have the entire rice
surrounding the role. So anyways, that's confusing. We also have radishes.
There are four radishes just dead on the plate in
the corner of this platter. Okay. It is one of
the most pathetic things I've seen. What there are five
pieces that just have a shit tone of black sasme
seeds on them. It's wild zero pots, an affront and
an assault to the eyes.
Speaker 1: And Japanese cooking.
Speaker 3: But well, it gets better though.
Speaker 2: We have to get to Mikey. Okay, Mikey heads out
and he's our favorite fuck up.
Speaker 1: He asked the gang their thoughts.
Speaker 2: On the makeup artist that is secretly stashed in the
boat somewhere. This is like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Quite honestly, they don't know about this makeup artist. It's
been told to the sea routs multiple times, probably three
or four times. This is a secret. And so the
question is do we think Mikey knew or do we
think he's just that big a fuck up.
Speaker 3: Well, I know one thing for sure. He doesn't fucking listen. Okay,
he does it. I used to have that problem. Then
I got better because it wasn't working out for me. Mikey.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm really sorry, but I've been duped all
evening by this thermos. I've been thinking that there's water
in here, that the ice is melted. No, it's dry,
it's bun dry. Okay, Hey everyone, today's episode is brought
to you by our favorite gummy in the world. It's
Edible season. Everyone's doing it. Everyone thinks it's.
Speaker 1: Great because it is great.
Speaker 2: Today's episode is brought to you by Loomy Gummies.
Speaker 1: How you feeling?
Speaker 3: I feel great because I'm using Looney Gummies.
Speaker 2: Dylan, Yep, you've been having a tough time sleeping lately, right,
that's right?
Speaker 1: Yep. Well, what have you been doing well, I've.
Speaker 3: Been using Loomi gummies. They helped me concentrate more, They
helped me sleep better. They do a whole bunch of thing.
Speaker 2: Did you have cotton candy cush or Granddaddy soaro G?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I always wanted to punch a giraffe and it
helped me do that.
Speaker 1: Granddaddy soaro G or cotton candy cush.
Speaker 3: All of them.
Speaker 2: Okay, maybe we need to talk to Loomi because maybe
when you combine all of them, you punch girafts. I
didn't know that that was a added benefit. But you know, listen,
I don't have a problem with giraffes, but.
Speaker 3: It's just something I always wanted to do.
Speaker 2: It's something that you could do. I mean, it's I'm
not gonna say it's not an accomplishment, Okay. Consistent, mellow,
and super delicious. Leomi gummies are specifically designed.
Speaker 3: They're so high up, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: They're specifically designed to make you feel good, not stoned,
whether you're looking for an end of day destress or
a midday mood booster, help getting the best sleep ever.
Loomy Gummy says the strain that's right for you. Loomi
Gummies are available nationwide. Go to loomigummies dot com. That's
lumigummies dot com and use code bad TV.
Speaker 1: For thirty percent off your order.
Speaker 2: Again, that's l umigummies dot comcode bad TV. Loomygummies dot
comcode bad TV. I'm sorry that I sound so sick.
It's because I am. I'm sick of things that are
not You know what I'm sick of. I'm sick of
bad blankets.
Speaker 1: Me too, man, Thank god, we don't have that problem.
Speaker 3: Not anymore. You better wrap one around you.
Speaker 2: And if you're gonna wrap one around you, it better
be a Lola pat talk about the Lola blanket.
Speaker 3: Lola blankets have changed my life and my family.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 3: We just love to watch movies thill and nothing makes
us feel at home and like one big happy family
when we put on a movie and we wrap ourselves
in a Lola blanket.
Speaker 1: Now you know what's coming up? What Mother's Day?
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: It's the perfect excuse for moms to slow down enjoy
some well deserved comfort. Think of this, mom wakes up.
You made her a shitty breakfast. That's fine, the eggs
are overcooked. You don't have time to make the new ones. Okay,
it's fine. How about some of those flowers you got
flowers they're gonna die, it doesn't matter. It'll remind her
that she's mortal, it doesn't matter. Bring them in anyways,
This is part of the process. But couple that with
a brand new Lola blanket. My god, are you gonna
have a happy mom?
Speaker 3: And if you have a bunch of siblings, you're clearly
gonna be the favorite.
Speaker 2: It's a meaningful gift she'll reach for every day, not
just on Mother's Day. Okay, so listen, it's honestly, it's
our favorite gift to get, whether it's a birthday, the
holiday season. Okay, it's just a damn good product. For
a limited time, our listeners can get forty percent off
select Lolo blankets and product Lola Blankets products with code bad.
Speaker 1: TV a checkout.
Speaker 2: Go to Lola Blankets dot com use code bad TV.
After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them.
Support our show please and let them know we sent
you this Mother's Day rap mom in the everyday luxury
of Lola Blankets.
Speaker 1: Back to the show, all right, let's get.
Speaker 3: Back well, Daisy finds out and she's really pissed and
she says, Mikey, go fix this.
Speaker 2: So Mikey, uh, it's so crazy, Like okay, So there's
a couple of things with with Mikey going to Daisy
that are really really bananas. So he goes and he
tells her and I'm not sure if you got this.
He said, it must have slipped out of my head
because I haven't spent much time with the guests. While
being chastised for ruining one of the main requests of
the primary, he critiques Daisy's placement of him in the
boat really unbelievable stuff. Okay. Then she says, you need
to fix this. Go bother them with your weird haircut
and your cockneyed accent or whatever the fuck it is.
How is that a solution?
Speaker 3: Well, regardless, he does it anyway. He heads out works
his way around the boat, bribing the guests with a
bottle of champagne in his quote unquote charm ha.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I want to talk about you know, I
want to talk about sea rats and their condition really quickly,
because Mikey's motivated, he knows that his back is against
the wall, and typically in this situation. Sea rats can
spiral in one of two ways. Okay, there's a passive way.
It's an internal route. It's kind of introverted binge drinking
and paranoia. You know, the quiet kind, right, we've seen it.
They melt in their cabins. Then there's the active kind
where they start pitching horrible ideas. They're over confident, they
have mania. Okay, and this is what Mikey is battle
right now, and he's actually losing. He goes around to
every single charter guest and asks them not to mention
to the primary that he told them about the makeup artist.
He goes to every single one, goes in their room
while they're relaxing with drinks that they didn't ask for,
and says, I need you to shut your fucking bathy.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Like, and by the way, they pledge allegiance to him.
Of course we won't do this, which lasts about four
and a half seconds after the first entrack.
Speaker 2: Because but to be fair to them, they're paying an
absurd amount of money. They're on their balcony in no
clothing with one another, and this best Buy employee with
a weird haircut walks in offering them an oath pact
and a drink that they didn't order. It's fucking insane.
Speaker 3: Also, it's a lose lose for them because if they
agree to this then and they're kind of lying to
their buddy too, rather than call everyone's gonna watch this
on TV.
Speaker 2: It's stupid. It's so stupid.
Speaker 3: You know what else is stupid? Dylan is the balk
and biscuit and making that cake for Jua.
Speaker 2: Ellie is really excited about Chuau and it's honestly really sweet.
It's insanely wrong. Well, but it's really really sweet.
Speaker 3: Well, she says, going for Juau shooting for the stars
is like buying a lottery ticket. Yeah, it's actually the
first time I agree with.
Speaker 2: An analogy of perfect analogy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, buying a lottery ticket is one of the saddest
human experiences, especially observing buying a lottery ticket.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the ladness washes away very quickly to anger because
you are so gross and you've bought seventy tickets and
I'm just trying to get a fucking Celsius.
Speaker 3: That's right, the line of society's lost souls waiting at
their local rundown.
Speaker 2: They sure it's just what the computer says man, I'll
run it again.
Speaker 1: You lost, man, That's what it's designed for.
Speaker 3: Also, like they got somewhere to go with a handful
of life's other bad choices. A pack of SIGs forty,
a malt liquor, maybe a pregnancy test or two or.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you can't forget the biggest sodas you've ever seen.
Speaker 3: It all looking like they live in their car. Yeah
if they don't want so, Yes, Yes, going for Jay. Wow,
it's like buying a lottery ticket. Yes, No one's winning, okay,
so and whoever does is lacking the fundamentals of responsibility anyway,
because they'll piss through.
Speaker 2: I love to play the lotto every once in a while.
You just got to be quick about it, all right. Anyways,
we're getting geared up for the Dragon Night and things
are really tense.
Speaker 1: We've got Alicia popping off a Jenna.
Speaker 2: We've got Daisy trying to take a shower and Piece
yelling in the Walkeet's absolute chaos.
Speaker 1: And then we get to Mikey and the hair.
Speaker 2: Uh, he's running a little late. He's not really helping
the rest of the interior out. You know how to
read's late to everything? Yes, Okay, if you're a man
and you're gonna spend this time, this much time on
your hair, and you're going to let women do all
of the hard labor required in the interior, wake up
when you need to wake up so that your hair
can look stupid. You know you want that. That's fine.
I think it looks Listen to each their own. I'm
sure he looks at things. His hair look great. It
might it might look great, but you got to wake
up early and get it done and be on time.
Eddie walks out in address and with tool comments on
his big balls.
Speaker 1: It's good to see her on the show.
Speaker 2: I know, yeah, it's just she's not on the show.
It's good to see her on the show. Also, Jason
walks like a stripper. Okay, so the ladies make their
their entrance. There's a very uncomfortable about the whole thing.
The friends have been told by Mikey they're disgusted with
the entire charade. And we do the drag and eventually
the makeup artist is unveiled, standing there like an extra.
The whole thing was really stellar and awkward.
Speaker 3: M didn't make sense.
Speaker 1: Caln, what did you think of it?
Speaker 3: I thought it was great entertainment. I can't deny that. Okay,
was there dinner? Did you discuss dinner? Sorry?
Speaker 1: Did I scoop over dinner?
Speaker 2: No? No, no, no, I think I just fast forward in
this accident. So Alicia is in a bad way. She's
getting hammered with drink orders and she kind of slips
into a bit of a trance. She goes, I can't
find anything. It was like there was this horseshoe of
gay guys, this horseshoe of drag queens screaming at her
that they want Cosmos. And in that moment, she was
kind of like Tom Hanks on that beach.
Speaker 3: She was just hearing a ring.
Speaker 2: There was just a ring. So she goes down and
she sees Mikey just standing around. She goes, hey, it's
a living fucking nightmare up there. Do you want to
come help in any way? Shape of Mikey.
Speaker 3: Actually, Mikey came walking down the stairs. He was holding
his arm. I never forgot that scene. You know what
I was gonna say about Lisia. She's suffering. And there's
been a couple cast members on Below Deck over the years.
It's the second season Curse. You had a decent first season,
So you say, you know what, what the hell, I'll
come back for a second.
Speaker 1: The second album and it does not go well. It's
such a shame.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's that band? Where did I go wrong? You?
Did I go wrong? Helloa friend?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I know what you're talking about is that
I don't know. I don't like that band. Though I
don't like that band.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it says this, it's some great emotional punch.
Speaker 2: He hits they do. Huh yeah atle bit on this
all right, let's get to dinner. Dinner is ten still
between the queens. I'm just very confused about the whole
dynamic at this point. But the food is disgusting. There's
slop on the bottom. Okay, it's a league in garlic
risotto and a bucket of port reduction. Honestly, it looked
like a fucking eating contest. Amount of port reduction. It
was crazy. And then we go back to nineteen fifty seven.
We've got a carrot ribbon as a garnish on top
of your beef. Okay, it was maybe a seventeen pot dinner.
Speaker 1: Not that great. Tyler the primary goes.
Speaker 2: And confronts Mikey at the end of the the walk
and the ceremonies, right, what did you think of his tactics.
Speaker 3: I'm surprised he did it. I'm happy he did it.
And then Mikey lies right to his mother fucking face, no,
I didn't do it, but I'll let you know if
I hear anything though. Uh huh, yeah, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2: And then after he says that, he looks to camera
and he goes, I can't believe him getting away with it.
All right, so we're about to head down, Daisy delegates
to Mikey and Alicia. And Alicia, she's so fucking weird.
She goes, We're gonna lean on each other, isn't it right?
We're gonna lean on each other. He goes, I don't
even want to fucking have this conversation right now. Okay,
I don't know what the fuck she's talking about. And
this is intercut with odd shots of Ellie showering, and
then we get to the moment we've all been waiting
for it. I really do want to just take a
moment and play this audio because it's truly special stuff
from Joao.
Speaker 3: All right now, I gotta tell you it is hard
to break up with someone face to face it is.
Speaker 2: And maybe it maybe it just didn't make any Sen
sends to me because I had taken an edible, but
I think it was pure nonsense. Let's go back. I
do want to.
Speaker 5: Speak to you that I like you and I think
that our friendship and stuff is strong. I hear so
I'm trying not to go back to my if I
if we continue, then I feel like I'm leading my weaknesses.
Speaker 2: When because.
Speaker 5: I'm just I feel like I don't want to close
myself off from something that's great and then ruin something
between us by allowing something to be more, And then
you know, I'd rather maintain.
Speaker 3: Can I tell you what doesn't help him? It's her
saying right, right right, because he thinks he's he thinks
he's making ground here.
Speaker 2: I think she I think what really didn't help him
is she goes one time, throughout the entire babble of nonsense, she.
Speaker 1: Goes, what do you mean by that?
Speaker 3: That great question?
Speaker 2: That was a speed bump that he could not overcome. Okay,
I want to help you out.
Speaker 3: Hey, I want to be real with you. I like you,
but I don't want anything serious at all, and I
don't want to lead you on I have feelings for
someone else, and that's kind of it, and I just
don't want to lead John.
Speaker 2: So there's no reason to get so poetic about it
that I can't pull it off. So anyways, that was really,
really cringe worthy, and Ellie leaves the conversation, as we
mentioned hopeful. Normally, this is a dude that leaves this
like so I think, yeah, No, She says that it
sounds like they're on the same page.
Speaker 1: Now, the reason why she might be confused.
Speaker 2: About what he said to her, well, you heard it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a lot of words.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of nonsense. So let's get up next day,
next morning. It's gonna be a tough one for Daisy.
Speaker 3: Well, she's on fire.
Speaker 2: I feel bad for her.
Speaker 3: Honestly, I kind of do too, and I've probably been
a little too harder on this season. But because I'm
pulling it a lot of her past ante, we.
Speaker 1: Have to keep it into it, we have to factor it.
Speaker 2: That's okay, but she is surrounded by such a carnival
of characters. First, she pulls Jenna and Vince about Mikey
and Alicia. Great moment from Jenna, I'm younger than both
of these idiots. Great line. Then Daisy gets really pissed
at Ellie because Ellie is making a lemon meringue cheesecake
for Juwau. Where's birthday? Where's birthday? Aka? The guy that
told her in very uncertain terms.
Speaker 3: Very uncertain. We're all uncertain what that sa' not on
the same page, I will say, and Ben once again
a man of character as I've come to see. Yeah, uh,
he says, she woke up an hour early before her
shift to do this right.
Speaker 2: Okay, so leave it alone, leave.
Speaker 3: It alone, regardless, she is in the right here. She's like,
everybody's doing something but their job.
Speaker 2: Yeah, She's like, I appreciate that she woke up an
hour early, but that means that she lost an hour
of sleep. And given the absolute fucking chaos that we
have been in for the past three charters, maybe we
don't do extracurriculars and just sleep and try to do
the basics. She's losing her mind.
Speaker 3: Although I do like that point.
Speaker 2: But Daisy's running plates and Ellie. Ellie has a command
of the position that is not necessary. Okay, she gets
on the walkie because Daisy has not brought up the
butter and the frittata, and she goes, what the fuck's
going on? And Daisy goes, they're docking a fifty million
dollar yacht. Have you ever been on these before? Don't
talk to me while they're doing that. That's the end
of the episode. Next week they're going to be rewarded
for all this insanity. Buy a day off at a
villa as.
Speaker 3: I always love that. Yeah, this team is absolutely incompetent.
I have an idea how to make it better. Let's
let see rats drink for two days straight, right right right?
That will help.
Speaker 2: So get in the comments. Let us know what you
thought at the episode. You got a patroon dot comver
Sesson on the podcast network for Real Housewives of Rhode
Island and Summer House and more. We love you very much.
I'm dyl and saying goodbye, Pat, say goodbye day dam
Speaker 3: Sen misting, sustanding,