WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.159 --> 00:00:06.719 Astonishing Legends Network Disclaimer. This episode includes the usual amount 2 00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:09.560 of adult language and graphic discussions you've come to expect 3 00:00:09.599 --> 00:00:12.519 around here, but in the event it becomes an unusual amount, 4 00:00:12.720 --> 00:00:14.279 expect another call from me. 5 00:00:15.160 --> 00:00:17.800 Hey, everybody, welcome back to Scaret all the time. I'm 6 00:00:17.879 --> 00:00:21.199 Chris Klari and I'm Edvacola, And this week we are 7 00:00:21.239 --> 00:00:25.239 digging into the past to unor something ancient, sacred, and 8 00:00:25.600 --> 00:00:29.000 very very fucked up. With the new Mummy movie hitting 9 00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:31.600 theaters tomorrow, we thought we'd break out the bandages and 10 00:00:31.679 --> 00:00:34.240 crawl from the tomb to talk about the wild history 11 00:00:34.280 --> 00:00:39.960 and persistent mystery of all things wrapped and bandagaged and mummified. Okay, 12 00:00:40.039 --> 00:00:42.119 before you tune out because you think you know everything 13 00:00:42.159 --> 00:00:45.719 about mummies from watching Boris Karloff stumble around a backlot 14 00:00:45.880 --> 00:00:50.359 or Brendan Fraser punching sand, trust me you don't, because 15 00:00:50.359 --> 00:00:55.320 it turns out curses are far from the weirdest, scariest 16 00:00:55.399 --> 00:00:58.520 things about mummies. From the gory details of how they 17 00:00:58.520 --> 00:01:01.280 were created to the unspeak things we've done to their 18 00:01:01.320 --> 00:01:05.000 remains over the centuries, the story of the desiccated dead 19 00:01:05.079 --> 00:01:07.920 is a bizarre and twisted tail on par with any 20 00:01:07.959 --> 00:01:10.519 horror movie. So join us as we crack open the 21 00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:14.040 sarcophagus this week. Don't breathe in the dust, and please, 22 00:01:14.319 --> 00:01:17.400 for the love of God, do not take any souvenirs. 23 00:01:17.760 --> 00:01:21.480 This podcast is cursed enough as it is. Saman, what 24 00:01:21.680 --> 00:01:22.719 are we screwed? 25 00:01:23.519 --> 00:01:24.120 When are we? 26 00:01:24.840 --> 00:01:31.319 All? The time? Now? Which is time? Full time scan? 27 00:01:33.640 --> 00:01:36.719 All right? So, longtime listeners of this show might be thinking, 28 00:01:37.120 --> 00:01:40.040 haven't you guys already talked about mummies? And you would 29 00:01:40.079 --> 00:01:42.439 be correct. I guess you actually haven't. You wouldn't have 30 00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:44.280 to have been listening that long to have heard us 31 00:01:44.280 --> 00:01:48.000 talking about mummies us curses episode, And we also touched 32 00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:51.040 a little bit on mummification in the Buried Alive episode 33 00:01:51.480 --> 00:01:54.719 two parter two part are Buried Alive? Yeah? Two part 34 00:01:54.760 --> 00:01:57.239 two parts? I remember which part. If you haven't checked 35 00:01:57.239 --> 00:02:00.480 those out, go do that. I think they'll nicely implement 36 00:02:00.560 --> 00:02:04.359 this episode. But today is Mummy's the main event, because 37 00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:10.960 unless you are some sort of a professional mummy doctor, studier, scientist, eddie, 38 00:02:10.960 --> 00:02:11.759 you looking for a mummy? 39 00:02:11.759 --> 00:02:13.639 You're looking for Sorry, I just had to move something 40 00:02:14.639 --> 00:02:18.000 my mummy collection. I stolen artifacts display case. 41 00:02:18.400 --> 00:02:22.719 Unless you are a professional mummy head mummy studier. I'm 42 00:02:22.759 --> 00:02:25.199 gonna bet that almost everything that you think you know 43 00:02:25.280 --> 00:02:28.719 about them is either wrong, incomplete, or nowhere near as 44 00:02:28.800 --> 00:02:31.840 disturbing as the actual truth about them. But before we 45 00:02:31.919 --> 00:02:35.599 dive into all of that, Ed, I gotta know what 46 00:02:35.840 --> 00:02:39.599 is your relationship with mummies? Were you scared of them ever? 47 00:02:39.879 --> 00:02:41.319 Were you ever a mummy for Halloween? 48 00:02:41.800 --> 00:02:44.840 That's interesting because I'm not I've never been a mummy, 49 00:02:44.840 --> 00:02:48.120 but it's an easy costume. Yeah, I've never been a 50 00:02:48.199 --> 00:02:51.639 mummy for Halloween. My relationship is I'm a person of 51 00:02:51.680 --> 00:02:55.159 a certain age. So there was never a Mummy movie 52 00:02:55.159 --> 00:02:57.680 that wasn't just the most fun. Yeah, so like we're 53 00:02:57.759 --> 00:03:02.280 Brendan Fraser mummy people, I would imagine yep. And I 54 00:03:02.280 --> 00:03:04.560 don't consider that movie scary in the slightest. I don't 55 00:03:04.599 --> 00:03:07.800 find the Mummy to be a genuine threat. I think 56 00:03:07.840 --> 00:03:10.879 he's doing something that might end the world. I don't know, 57 00:03:11.439 --> 00:03:13.039 But that movie, it's like it's in the way that 58 00:03:13.039 --> 00:03:14.759 I don't find a lot of any Ed Jones scary, 59 00:03:14.759 --> 00:03:16.319 even knowing like the Second Ones got a lot of 60 00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:19.439 scary stuff. Yeah, it's just like I'm having so much fun. 61 00:03:20.039 --> 00:03:22.719 Yeah watching it, I associate the word mummy with having 62 00:03:22.759 --> 00:03:23.199 a good time. 63 00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:26.080 Actually, okay, all right, well this episode's gonna be a 64 00:03:26.080 --> 00:03:29.400 good time, I would say. In the Brendan Fraser Mummy movies, 65 00:03:29.400 --> 00:03:31.759 there's one scene where a guy gets eaten by scarebs 66 00:03:31.800 --> 00:03:34.479 that I found kind of scary when I was younger. 67 00:03:34.560 --> 00:03:37.439 I feel that exact same way about the boobox and hook. Yes, 68 00:03:37.680 --> 00:03:39.360 so yes, get these bugs off of us. 69 00:03:39.599 --> 00:03:44.759 Yeah, there's Look, mummies are a tough sell as scary 70 00:03:44.800 --> 00:03:47.759 horror villains. I think they shamble, they moan, they do 71 00:03:47.800 --> 00:03:51.319 a lot of strangling. They're basically a zombie that's one 72 00:03:51.439 --> 00:03:53.439 zombie and doesn't eat brains. 73 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:55.360 That's why I think the Mummy dit a good job 74 00:03:55.400 --> 00:03:56.439 of being like, well, it was just kind of like 75 00:03:56.479 --> 00:03:59.080 a hot guy, like like not Billy's in. 76 00:03:59.240 --> 00:04:01.439 Well, we'll see what this Mummy movie is like that 77 00:04:01.560 --> 00:04:02.639 comes out tomorrow. 78 00:04:03.400 --> 00:04:05.319 Saw the trailer had to wait too much Mummy in it. 79 00:04:05.520 --> 00:04:08.319 Lee Cronin's The Mummy. It seems like they're trying to 80 00:04:08.319 --> 00:04:10.360 make they're trying to go for a scary thing, but 81 00:04:10.400 --> 00:04:13.439 it does seem like there's not actually like a shambling mummy. 82 00:04:13.800 --> 00:04:16.319 It's this more possessed dead kid angle. 83 00:04:16.480 --> 00:04:19.160 Yeah, I think a suicide squad a little mummy ask 84 00:04:19.279 --> 00:04:21.040 shit in it too, where they just got a babe. 85 00:04:21.160 --> 00:04:22.480 Yeah, so I think you gotta throw. 86 00:04:22.439 --> 00:04:24.480 Like a hansom or hot you gotta throw a hot 87 00:04:24.480 --> 00:04:26.839 person in there and get rid of those wraps immediately. 88 00:04:26.879 --> 00:04:29.120 Well right, but then what that does I think and 89 00:04:29.160 --> 00:04:32.079 what you see in most of the attempts Universal has 90 00:04:32.120 --> 00:04:36.240 made to relaunch The Mummy as a franchise is both 91 00:04:36.319 --> 00:04:38.480 the but the addition of the hot person and the 92 00:04:38.560 --> 00:04:40.800 fact that they always feel like they have to give 93 00:04:40.839 --> 00:04:43.120 the Mummy some kind of powers to make up for 94 00:04:43.160 --> 00:04:46.120 the fact that it's dead turns it more into you. 95 00:04:46.360 --> 00:04:47.600 Why isn't there just a voodoo movie. 96 00:04:47.839 --> 00:04:50.759 It's just more of a fantasy horror adventure at that point. 97 00:04:50.839 --> 00:04:54.360 No matter how you square it neck, yeah, you're not 98 00:04:54.399 --> 00:04:58.720 really getting that kind of groaning, shambling kind of mummy 99 00:04:58.759 --> 00:05:01.199 that I think is is one of the first things 100 00:05:01.199 --> 00:05:03.399 that comes to mind when people think of mummies. 101 00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:06.519 Well, I mean it's in their defense of making it 102 00:05:06.519 --> 00:05:09.279 that way. Yeah, don't they have like their brains taken 103 00:05:09.319 --> 00:05:11.639 out through their nose. They're not working with brains. 104 00:05:11.680 --> 00:05:15.000 The first they'd be like, oh, we will, we will 105 00:05:15.040 --> 00:05:18.720 get to exactly. We will get into detail about what 106 00:05:18.839 --> 00:05:21.079 comes out of mummies and how Yeah. 107 00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:22.439 And they're going to little jars and stuff. We'll get 108 00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:24.040 into that, I'm sure. And I feel like that's the 109 00:05:24.040 --> 00:05:26.000 stuff they tossed to the side in the movies. 110 00:05:26.199 --> 00:05:26.399 Yeah. 111 00:05:26.600 --> 00:05:29.279 Like, well, because we think about it, this guy's he's 112 00:05:29.279 --> 00:05:32.680 thinking with sand to quote, what was that movie? Was 113 00:05:32.720 --> 00:05:34.600 that movie with Bruce Campbell where he's in like a 114 00:05:34.639 --> 00:05:36.680 retirement home is like elvis o bubbajo tap. 115 00:05:37.240 --> 00:05:40.240 Yeah, there's that kind of a mummy vampire thing coming out. 116 00:05:40.319 --> 00:05:42.720 But to quote that movie, I'm thinking with sand here, Yeah, 117 00:05:42.720 --> 00:05:44.759 you got a brain or whatever? 118 00:05:44.959 --> 00:05:48.079 I yeah, my favorite I'll say, I don't know if 119 00:05:48.120 --> 00:05:51.199 you have a favorite classic mummy design. I mean my 120 00:05:51.279 --> 00:05:54.160 first encounter with the classic mummy design were those orange 121 00:05:54.160 --> 00:05:58.079 Crestwood horror books. They were hardcover, bright orange, and they 122 00:05:58.079 --> 00:06:02.199 were like, uh, they were nineteen thirties horror movies repackaged 123 00:06:02.240 --> 00:06:06.160 as sort of books for second or third grade readers 124 00:06:06.160 --> 00:06:08.319 with black and white photos from the movies and the 125 00:06:08.360 --> 00:06:11.600 stories were simplified. Now was the first place I came 126 00:06:11.639 --> 00:06:16.000 across the classic Karloff Mummy, and it was slow move 127 00:06:16.079 --> 00:06:19.079 in wrapped in stuff wrapped in stuff. I think. 128 00:06:19.199 --> 00:06:22.360 Yeah, I guess I can't pinpoint mummies. I mean so 129 00:06:22.519 --> 00:06:25.120 much of you know, Monster Squad and stuff where they're 130 00:06:25.160 --> 00:06:27.879 like making fun of the universal monsters would be some 131 00:06:27.920 --> 00:06:29.120 of my earliest. 132 00:06:28.920 --> 00:06:32.759 Yes, but I was just gonna say the Monster Squad Mummy. Actually, 133 00:06:32.800 --> 00:06:36.680 all of the Monster Squad monsters I think are incredible 134 00:06:37.879 --> 00:06:41.399 modern ish version of those creatures. Not in the sense 135 00:06:41.439 --> 00:06:44.360 that they are necessarily the most frightening, but stan Winston 136 00:06:44.439 --> 00:06:47.000 designed all of them, and they are They managed to 137 00:06:47.079 --> 00:06:50.560 capture everything we love about the universal version of those 138 00:06:50.600 --> 00:06:53.399 monsters but give them sort of a fresh coat of paint. 139 00:06:53.439 --> 00:06:56.079 And the Mummy in particular, even though it's not particularly 140 00:06:56.120 --> 00:06:59.079 threatening in the movie, I love the visual design of 141 00:06:59.120 --> 00:07:03.199 the Mummy in that movie. It's angular, it's dirtier, It's like, 142 00:07:03.319 --> 00:07:06.360 there's just something cool about the Mummy in that movie, 143 00:07:06.439 --> 00:07:07.600 about all the monsters in that. 144 00:07:07.560 --> 00:07:10.319 I guess the Mummy to me just in the context 145 00:07:10.319 --> 00:07:14.560 of universal monsters. Yeah, even at the time they were made, 146 00:07:14.759 --> 00:07:18.000 which wasn't amazingly a time where they were like these 147 00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:21.160 are scary movies. Uh, even at the time they were 148 00:07:21.160 --> 00:07:23.879 made doing press or whatever, I feel like there probably 149 00:07:24.040 --> 00:07:27.360 was like and the Mummy. You know what, It's like, 150 00:07:27.480 --> 00:07:31.079 we got fucking Belle Luguzu's vamb We've got a were wolf, 151 00:07:31.839 --> 00:07:34.000 and there's a mummy. You also have this Mummy. 152 00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:38.519 There's man maybe the better Rapped Guy movie. 153 00:07:37.879 --> 00:07:39.480 But we have the Mummy as well. 154 00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:42.079 I think we mentioned this in the Curses episode that 155 00:07:42.560 --> 00:07:45.959 you know, the Mummy movie itself wasn't made that long 156 00:07:46.240 --> 00:07:50.319 after a sort of egypt Mania of like the Curses 157 00:07:50.360 --> 00:07:52.160 of Opening the Tomb and so like a lot of 158 00:07:52.199 --> 00:07:55.000 that I think was kind of coasting on almost like 159 00:07:55.160 --> 00:07:58.120 recent news. You know, it was like semi recent. 160 00:07:58.399 --> 00:08:02.759 And it's a great concept of like pillaging in the 161 00:08:02.800 --> 00:08:05.160 sense that like a bunch of British dudes and stupid 162 00:08:05.199 --> 00:08:07.959 hats show up and they're like, oh, this is tight, 163 00:08:08.120 --> 00:08:09.199 I'm gonna take this. 164 00:08:09.439 --> 00:08:11.120 Yeah, and it would just be. 165 00:08:11.480 --> 00:08:14.839 I mean, the fucking Museum of Natural History and like 166 00:08:14.920 --> 00:08:18.000 every major city has some shit from Egypt in it. Yeah, 167 00:08:18.040 --> 00:08:20.279 And so there's a good thing if something is cursed. 168 00:08:20.600 --> 00:08:23.199 It's a great idea, especially at the time they were 169 00:08:23.199 --> 00:08:26.560 making those movies where it was like not long after, like. 170 00:08:27.199 --> 00:08:30.439 The New York Museum is introducing mummies. 171 00:08:30.480 --> 00:08:32.080 Yes, this mummy thing, so they would be like, Oh, 172 00:08:32.120 --> 00:08:33.639 wouldn't it be cool if something followed you home? 173 00:08:33.759 --> 00:08:36.320 Actually, now that I think about it, though, I guess 174 00:08:36.440 --> 00:08:40.720 maybe we would not necessarily have the idea of the 175 00:08:40.840 --> 00:08:45.519 modern Romero zombie without the karl Off mummy, because the 176 00:08:46.039 --> 00:08:49.759 modern Romero zombies like zombies have existed in culture, but 177 00:08:49.840 --> 00:08:53.039 they were always more of like a Haitian voodoo like 178 00:08:53.080 --> 00:08:56.559 the real zombie was that sort of the serpent in 179 00:08:56.600 --> 00:08:57.759 the Rainbow styles of it. 180 00:08:57.840 --> 00:09:00.679 That's why I said earlier, like what if you without 181 00:09:00.759 --> 00:09:04.080 the rappings? These things are just voodoo stories or necromancers. 182 00:09:03.519 --> 00:09:05.679 Right, But I sort of wonder. I mean, it's too 183 00:09:05.759 --> 00:09:07.679 late to ask him now because he is a member 184 00:09:07.679 --> 00:09:10.480 of the undead, but I wonder if Georgia Merrow was 185 00:09:10.919 --> 00:09:14.799 influenced at all by the shambling mummy figure and just 186 00:09:14.840 --> 00:09:17.759 sort of turned it up to eleven to create Mobably. 187 00:09:17.840 --> 00:09:20.799 I've seen that original movie. They couldn't afford the rappings, No, 188 00:09:20.919 --> 00:09:23.159 it probably was originally a mummy movie. And he was like, 189 00:09:23.159 --> 00:09:25.600 we don't got enough toilet paper, Yeah, like the crewhose 190 00:09:25.600 --> 00:09:28.200 isn't already using. Let's just make them a guy in 191 00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:28.639 a suit. 192 00:09:28.879 --> 00:09:31.000 Yeah, And I also think I would also say the 193 00:09:31.080 --> 00:09:34.639 reason mummies probably fall to the bottom of most people's 194 00:09:34.679 --> 00:09:37.840 monster fears is that my theory and this is different 195 00:09:37.840 --> 00:09:40.679 for everybody, but generally I feel like the most effective 196 00:09:40.720 --> 00:09:44.600 horror is more gent, like if you can imagine something 197 00:09:44.679 --> 00:09:47.000 scary happening to you, if it feels like it's something 198 00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:49.120 that could happen when you go outside, that's the most 199 00:09:49.159 --> 00:09:51.679 effective horror. And the only way that you're really coming 200 00:09:51.720 --> 00:09:55.399 across a mummy is a pretty specific like you either 201 00:09:55.399 --> 00:09:58.919 have to be a grave robber or a running a 202 00:09:59.000 --> 00:10:02.320 museum or something to really encounter a mummy on a 203 00:10:02.360 --> 00:10:03.120 regular basis. 204 00:10:03.159 --> 00:10:05.039 I love India Jones is always like this belongs in 205 00:10:05.039 --> 00:10:07.519 a museum. Yeah, in the museums, Like, will you stop 206 00:10:07.759 --> 00:10:11.360 giving us these? It's been a nightmare for Yeah, just 207 00:10:11.440 --> 00:10:12.159 leave them where they are. 208 00:10:12.159 --> 00:10:15.080 Indeed, so I'm not particularly concerned about waking up to 209 00:10:15.080 --> 00:10:17.080 find a mummy standing at the foot of my bed, 210 00:10:17.159 --> 00:10:19.559 but the lore and the science and the myth around 211 00:10:19.559 --> 00:10:22.080 them is so gross and gory and dusty and in 212 00:10:22.120 --> 00:10:23.960 touch with the world of the dead that this might 213 00:10:24.039 --> 00:10:27.159 actually end up being one of my favorite episodes. 214 00:10:27.159 --> 00:10:29.480 Well, the thing I'm most looking forward to in this episode, 215 00:10:29.519 --> 00:10:32.279 and if it exists, I'm pumped, and if it doesn't, 216 00:10:32.919 --> 00:10:34.000 less pumped. 217 00:10:33.720 --> 00:10:34.360 I'm fired. 218 00:10:34.480 --> 00:10:38.519 They're fired. Is I really want there to be an 219 00:10:38.519 --> 00:10:40.679 insane number of booby traps where they're buried? 220 00:10:41.679 --> 00:10:44.440 Oh oh boy, you might be disappointed. Yeah, you might 221 00:10:44.480 --> 00:10:52.360 be unemployed. There's really the creation of the chambers that 222 00:10:52.399 --> 00:10:55.039 a lot of mummies were buried in. Let's just say 223 00:10:55.080 --> 00:10:59.399 that there's a disappointing amount of traps. Booby Traps were 224 00:10:59.440 --> 00:11:04.080 not something that ancient peoples were particularly invested in making 225 00:11:04.200 --> 00:11:07.080 last very long. If there ever were booby traps, Okay, 226 00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:09.840 nature set some booby traps by I don't get into 227 00:11:09.879 --> 00:11:12.080 it in the episode, but there is some research around 228 00:11:12.320 --> 00:11:14.120 and I think this is what we talk about in Curses. 229 00:11:14.159 --> 00:11:15.960 If you haven't and you want a deeper dive on this, 230 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:18.720 go listen to Curses. But the idea that perhaps there 231 00:11:18.759 --> 00:11:22.240 was some kind of like bacteria or viruses or whatever 232 00:11:22.320 --> 00:11:24.399 that had been kind of sealed up in some of 233 00:11:24.440 --> 00:11:26.879 these pots and chambers, and that when people broke open 234 00:11:26.919 --> 00:11:28.960 those doors to go in there, they may have been 235 00:11:28.960 --> 00:11:32.159 exposed to like mold or whatever that made them sick. 236 00:11:32.360 --> 00:11:34.360 But I don't think any of that was set there 237 00:11:34.399 --> 00:11:37.519 on purpose. It was just sort of nature doing its thing. 238 00:11:37.759 --> 00:11:39.919 Yeah, your air being like you're telling me there's no 239 00:11:39.960 --> 00:11:42.240 way out, air being no way out. Yeah, well we're 240 00:11:42.240 --> 00:11:42.840 toxic now. 241 00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:46.360 So to start, let's still nail down exactly what a 242 00:11:46.480 --> 00:11:49.919 mummy is, because the same images that caught my attention 243 00:11:49.960 --> 00:11:52.879 as a kid are so baked into the cultural idea 244 00:11:52.919 --> 00:11:54.879 of a mummy that you'd be forgiven for thinking that 245 00:11:54.960 --> 00:11:59.799 mummies are a exclusively Egyptian and b only count as 246 00:12:00.240 --> 00:12:03.360 when wrapped in thin strips of fabric. But that is 247 00:12:03.480 --> 00:12:07.080 just one example of the form. We turned to Wikipedia, 248 00:12:07.200 --> 00:12:09.360 which tells us a mummy is a dead human or 249 00:12:09.399 --> 00:12:11.960 animal whose soft issues and organs have been preserved by 250 00:12:11.960 --> 00:12:16.759 either intentional or accidental exposure to chemicals, extreme cold, very 251 00:12:16.759 --> 00:12:19.679 low humidity, or lack of air, so that the recovered 252 00:12:19.720 --> 00:12:22.320 body does not decay further if kept in cool and 253 00:12:22.399 --> 00:12:23.240 dry conditions. 254 00:12:23.360 --> 00:12:26.000 So mummy is not a noun then, because because if 255 00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:29.279 it's if it's unintentional as well, someone's been mummified. 256 00:12:28.840 --> 00:12:31.600 Well you can you essentially, you can find a mummy. 257 00:12:31.759 --> 00:12:35.559 There's there's many many animal mummies throughout the world, particularly 258 00:12:35.759 --> 00:12:37.879 that one that with the Cheetos one from our from 259 00:12:37.919 --> 00:12:40.440 our live show. Yeah, it just like fell into a 260 00:12:40.480 --> 00:12:43.600 cave and then like became desiccated and dried out, and 261 00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:47.600 we found it eight thousand years later. And yeah, and 262 00:12:47.639 --> 00:12:50.440 then just the devradd It live. You want to hear 263 00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:53.399 that mummies of humans and animals have been found on 264 00:12:53.519 --> 00:12:56.559 every continent, both as a result of natural preservation and 265 00:12:56.559 --> 00:12:58.919 as cultural artifacts. We'll get into this a little bit 266 00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:01.799 more later, but over one million animal mummies have been 267 00:13:01.799 --> 00:13:05.120 found in Egypt, many of which are cats. Evidence of 268 00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:08.960 deliberate mummification in human cultures is documented to have existed 269 00:13:09.000 --> 00:13:12.879 across Southeast Asia, China, New Guinea, and Australia, where discoveries 270 00:13:12.879 --> 00:13:16.559 made just last year in twenty twenty five tell us 271 00:13:16.559 --> 00:13:20.759 that various cultures have been practicing mummification since approximately ten 272 00:13:20.919 --> 00:13:25.279 thousand BC. These new finds are prompting research into cultures 273 00:13:25.360 --> 00:13:28.879 documented to twenty thousand years ago for evidence of use 274 00:13:28.919 --> 00:13:31.960 of the same mummification methods. So this means that the 275 00:13:32.120 --> 00:13:36.480 oldest deliberately mummified humans are somewhere around eight thousand years 276 00:13:36.639 --> 00:13:40.639 older than Egyptian mummies and six to seven thousand years 277 00:13:40.679 --> 00:13:41.399 older than. 278 00:13:41.279 --> 00:13:44.120 The wheel Oh wow. So they had to carry all 279 00:13:44.159 --> 00:13:46.879 of these mummies to get around just two guys. 280 00:13:47.159 --> 00:13:49.519 It's funny each mummy. We'll get into that in a minute, 281 00:13:49.559 --> 00:13:52.639 but I just think it really puts our perspective to 282 00:13:52.679 --> 00:13:55.360 turn human beings into jerky, or it really puts our 283 00:13:55.399 --> 00:13:58.600 desire to turn human beings into jerky, into perspective that 284 00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:01.600 we were doing this thousands of years before we figured 285 00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:02.600 out how to move them, and. 286 00:14:02.639 --> 00:14:04.519 If climate change as it's way, we might be doing 287 00:14:04.600 --> 00:14:05.799 it for sustenance soon. 288 00:14:05.919 --> 00:14:10.399 Yeah. So I know we sometimes go in historical order 289 00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:12.679 on this show, but I think for this episode, the 290 00:14:12.720 --> 00:14:14.960 best place to start our journey through the Dead is 291 00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:17.960 with a closer look at the Egyptian mummy, because it's 292 00:14:18.120 --> 00:14:21.039 what most people think of first, and we know a 293 00:14:21.080 --> 00:14:22.360 lot about them. 294 00:14:22.320 --> 00:14:24.559 And we're getting to that thing now where everything's being 295 00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:27.399 memed as, like you know, we're now as far away 296 00:14:27.480 --> 00:14:31.279 from whatever as the Egyptians were from whatever. Yeah, and 297 00:14:31.519 --> 00:14:34.360 I never remember, obviously the fill in the blanks on that, 298 00:14:34.679 --> 00:14:36.559 but I see the Pyramids come up a lot. 299 00:14:36.799 --> 00:14:39.879 Well. It's the big one for me is we live 300 00:14:40.080 --> 00:14:45.360 closer to the era of Tyrannosaurus racks than Tyrannosaurus wracks 301 00:14:45.440 --> 00:14:48.840 lived to I believe stegosaurus. How the fuck is that 302 00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:51.960 helping anybody? Oh it's not, but it's just wild, Like 303 00:14:52.120 --> 00:14:53.279 that's how much time. 304 00:14:53.399 --> 00:14:56.960 But I can't figure that out. I don't understand the reference. 305 00:14:56.960 --> 00:14:59.120 I'm saying, like I can look and see the pyramids 306 00:14:59.120 --> 00:14:59.600 and I get that. 307 00:14:59.720 --> 00:15:01.399 Yeah, and I know that humans made them. 308 00:15:01.480 --> 00:15:04.960 Yeah, Okay, there goes half our audience or aliens whatever. 309 00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:07.320 Yeah, whoever you want to have made them. 310 00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:11.240 We have no evidence, but it is yeah that I 311 00:15:11.279 --> 00:15:12.840 can I can track, but I can't. 312 00:15:12.879 --> 00:15:14.480 I don't as far as I'm concerned. 313 00:15:14.480 --> 00:15:16.919 Ttegosaurus and t rexes are hanging out together, right, but 314 00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:17.440 they weren't. 315 00:15:17.639 --> 00:15:19.720 There was like a it's like sixty five million years 316 00:15:19.759 --> 00:15:21.279 between us and t rex, and I think like a 317 00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:24.240 hundred million years between t rex and stegosaurus. 318 00:15:24.320 --> 00:15:25.600 So they're never together. 319 00:15:26.200 --> 00:15:29.000 No, only in the movies. Only in the movies. Like 320 00:15:29.440 --> 00:15:31.559 they say that a lot about mummies today too. Yeah, 321 00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:34.960 the Jurassic the earliest parts of the Jurassic Period and 322 00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:38.039 the latest parts of the Cretaceous Period. I don't remember 323 00:15:38.039 --> 00:15:41.240 that the actual time scale, but it's it's immense amounts 324 00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:42.879 of time. And then if you going back to the 325 00:15:42.919 --> 00:15:45.519 Triassic period forget about it. That's like, do you. 326 00:15:45.399 --> 00:15:47.919 Think people who know this type of stuff when they 327 00:15:47.960 --> 00:15:49.120 saw Jurassic Park were like. 328 00:15:49.120 --> 00:15:53.480 You crazy for this one? Yeah, that's fucking together. I 329 00:15:53.559 --> 00:15:56.320 never thought, well, Jurassic Park wouldn't work for a lot 330 00:15:56.320 --> 00:15:58.480 of reasons. But yes, part of the reason it wouldn't 331 00:15:58.519 --> 00:16:01.519 work is because you're not only put dinosaurs and humans together. 332 00:16:01.600 --> 00:16:05.200 You're putting dinosaurs together that had never experienced Oh. 333 00:16:05.240 --> 00:16:08.480 That's like, you know, I can't even imagine. I'm trying 334 00:16:08.480 --> 00:16:11.440 to think of like a zoo where it's like a 335 00:16:11.559 --> 00:16:13.799 zoos must be nuts for animals, Yeah, but like a 336 00:16:13.919 --> 00:16:15.840 draft hanging out with something, it's like what the fuck 337 00:16:15.840 --> 00:16:16.120 are you? 338 00:16:16.399 --> 00:16:16.639 Yeah? 339 00:16:16.840 --> 00:16:19.279 Yeah, t Rex would be like what are you? Ye 340 00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:20.559 too a stecosaurus? 341 00:16:20.679 --> 00:16:25.639 Yeah, exactly, So we don't we don't have to worry 342 00:16:25.679 --> 00:16:28.480 about it. I mean, you could also argue that dinosaurs 343 00:16:28.480 --> 00:16:31.360 in a Jurassic Park wouldn't really be dinosaurs. They would 344 00:16:31.360 --> 00:16:35.639 be some sort of modern uh Frankenstein hybridization of the 345 00:16:35.679 --> 00:16:36.960 closest thing we could get. 346 00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:39.360 So what you're saying is is that t Rex would 347 00:16:39.360 --> 00:16:42.440 be like, what even are you? And then Stecosaurus would 348 00:16:42.480 --> 00:16:44.039 say what are we. 349 00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:48.399 Yeah, t Rex would say, what even am I? Yeah? Yeah? Anyway. 350 00:16:48.480 --> 00:16:51.279 One of the most important things to understand about mummies 351 00:16:51.679 --> 00:16:55.720 is that the Egyptians weren't mummifying the dead for fun 352 00:16:56.039 --> 00:17:00.360 or to preserve information about their culture. Even funerary right. 353 00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:04.519 Rituals changed over time, but mummification in the Egyptian culture 354 00:17:04.599 --> 00:17:07.720 was considered an essential component if you were to have 355 00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:09.119 a successful afterlife. 356 00:17:09.759 --> 00:17:12.440 Accordingly, for like rich people like pharaohs in ger where 357 00:17:12.480 --> 00:17:15.799 regular asks people getting for everybody. Okay, so according to match, 358 00:17:15.880 --> 00:17:18.480 some of these mummifications look real shitty. They do, like 359 00:17:18.519 --> 00:17:20.279 what are the Turkish hair transplants of. 360 00:17:21.759 --> 00:17:25.160 Yesterday? In real time? According to the Spurlock Museum at 361 00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:28.440 the University of Illinois, quote, two very important things were 362 00:17:28.519 --> 00:17:32.279 necessary for a person to go to one's ah or 363 00:17:32.359 --> 00:17:35.440 become a blessed one who could spend a pleasant eternal life. 364 00:17:35.920 --> 00:17:40.119 One component to that was passing a final judgment. The 365 00:17:40.279 --> 00:17:44.279 other component was having a well preserved body that that 366 00:17:44.319 --> 00:17:48.680 person's soul could recognize and return to after something called 367 00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:52.480 the opening of the mouth ceremony. Okay, better name would 368 00:17:52.559 --> 00:17:56.160 be better. I mean, it's pretty straightforward. What happens during 369 00:17:56.200 --> 00:17:59.480 that ceremony. I believe the mouth is opened and the 370 00:17:59.559 --> 00:18:01.480 soul returns body. 371 00:18:01.720 --> 00:18:04.680 Interesting that that the mouth is, but like everything else, is. 372 00:18:04.640 --> 00:18:08.160 With the nose, although some stuff is through all kinds 373 00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:12.119 of different holes. Well hold, hang, hold that thought, Hold 374 00:18:12.559 --> 00:18:16.480 hold that thought. The two most important divisions of the 375 00:18:16.519 --> 00:18:21.119 soul were the Ka and the baka. The Ka was 376 00:18:21.160 --> 00:18:24.160 the person's double, and it stayed with the deceased in 377 00:18:24.319 --> 00:18:27.680 the tomb. The Ba was portrayed as a human headed 378 00:18:27.720 --> 00:18:30.519 bird that could leave the tomb during the day but 379 00:18:30.599 --> 00:18:33.200 needed to return to their body at night, sort of 380 00:18:33.240 --> 00:18:35.480 like Jeffrey Epstein when he was put in prison for 381 00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:40.200 his first crime. During the day, you could think of 382 00:18:40.200 --> 00:18:43.319 a Ba as sort of a Jeffrey Epstein with wings. 383 00:18:44.119 --> 00:18:47.240 Without the mummified human, the Ba and the Ka could 384 00:18:47.319 --> 00:18:49.960 not survive. So the body, the mummified body, was like 385 00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:52.200 the anchor for both parts of your soul is the 386 00:18:52.200 --> 00:18:56.880 body the ba doing that there were two parts of 387 00:18:56.920 --> 00:18:59.319 your spirits, so the Ka stayed with the body in 388 00:18:59.359 --> 00:19:00.640 the box out. 389 00:19:00.359 --> 00:19:02.599 And spirit base gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha? 390 00:19:02.839 --> 00:19:02.960 Uh. 391 00:19:03.319 --> 00:19:06.440 So to assure your continued existence in the afterlife, the 392 00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:10.000 Egyptians worked hard to find the perfect method of preserving 393 00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:14.480 the body. Interestingly, the Global Egyptian Museum tells us that 394 00:19:14.519 --> 00:19:17.799 our knowledge of the mummification process does not come from 395 00:19:17.839 --> 00:19:22.039 the ancient Egyptians themselves, and the City Museum elaborates that quote. 396 00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:25.240 Ancient Egyptian sources on the treatment of the human body 397 00:19:25.279 --> 00:19:28.799 after death are scarce, with only a few inscriptions and 398 00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:32.440 funerary images. The few texts that have survived, such as 399 00:19:32.519 --> 00:19:35.519 the Ritual of Embalming, focus on the rituals, and the 400 00:19:35.559 --> 00:19:39.559 more practical and gruesome aspects of mummification are largely ignored. 401 00:19:39.640 --> 00:19:41.480 No, I've never thought about this in my entire life 402 00:19:41.519 --> 00:19:45.160 until right this second. Yep, higher glyphs. Yeah, it is 403 00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:48.960 a language that's a picture base. Yes, where are the 404 00:19:48.960 --> 00:19:53.599 better drawings? Like literally, image is worth a thousand words, 405 00:19:53.599 --> 00:19:55.519 But they're like what if it's just one word? Yeah, 406 00:19:55.559 --> 00:19:58.680 So why do we not have a wood etching of 407 00:19:58.720 --> 00:20:02.720 these events from a gyps versus? Like, well, I told 408 00:20:02.799 --> 00:20:04.400 them about it. You can see from the bird had 409 00:20:04.400 --> 00:20:07.039 bird had bird ed guy doing the Egyptian dance. 410 00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:09.519 Yeah, there's lots of guys doing the Egyptian dance. 411 00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:11.119 Yeah, so you have to like kind of glean from 412 00:20:11.119 --> 00:20:11.720 that what you will. 413 00:20:11.839 --> 00:20:14.920 There's a lot of speculation about this. Some people think 414 00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:17.799 that the rituals were considered so sacred that they were 415 00:20:17.799 --> 00:20:20.920 never passed down anywhere. They were just or they were 416 00:20:21.000 --> 00:20:23.200 I'm sorry that they were never written down anywhere. They 417 00:20:23.200 --> 00:20:26.720 were only passed down through an oral tradition. Some people 418 00:20:26.759 --> 00:20:29.720 think that perhaps you know they were written, if there 419 00:20:29.759 --> 00:20:34.440 were ever written instructions for any of this, that perhaps 420 00:20:34.440 --> 00:20:37.119 it was written on papyrus that didn't survive very long 421 00:20:37.799 --> 00:20:40.319 and was never painted onto a wall or something never 422 00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:43.759 higher glyft into a tomb, because once you're in the tomb, 423 00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:46.519 you wouldn't necessarily need the rules for how to make 424 00:20:46.519 --> 00:20:49.480 a mummy on the wall. Yeah. I mean, look, I 425 00:20:49.599 --> 00:20:51.640 hung for the longest time. The ratio is for how 426 00:20:51.640 --> 00:20:54.680 to make a good cup of coffee over my coffee machine, 427 00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:57.160 So like maybe you would do that for a moment. Yeah, 428 00:20:57.160 --> 00:20:59.079 I haven't my refrigerator right now. 429 00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:02.599 That's like the breakdown of like two tea spoons is one, yeah, 430 00:21:02.680 --> 00:21:03.480 or whatever, you know what I mean. 431 00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:05.240 But they had it, as we'll get into in a 432 00:21:05.240 --> 00:21:07.240 moment here, they had a lot of guys who were 433 00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:09.839 very good at all the different aspects of this, so 434 00:21:10.440 --> 00:21:13.359 they didn't. This is the kind of thing where generations 435 00:21:13.359 --> 00:21:16.880 of people existed to do one part of the ritual, 436 00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:19.640 you know, so you didn't necessarily need to write any 437 00:21:19.640 --> 00:21:20.240 of this down. 438 00:21:20.359 --> 00:21:23.079 Yeah, and it's a good job to add. Everyone's getting 439 00:21:23.079 --> 00:21:26.079 it done. Great job, great job to add. Like, and 440 00:21:26.119 --> 00:21:27.599 no one can kill you because no one else knows 441 00:21:27.599 --> 00:21:28.160 how to do it. 442 00:21:28.279 --> 00:21:30.000 Yeah, well, great job for some people. 443 00:21:30.039 --> 00:21:32.519 But oh, I'm sure there were something some sons and 444 00:21:32.599 --> 00:21:34.559 daughters who were like, I feel like I want to dance. 445 00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:37.759 I don't want to cut brains out anymore, or even 446 00:21:37.799 --> 00:21:38.440 to begin with. 447 00:21:38.759 --> 00:21:41.279 But in any case, this is where the ancient Greeks 448 00:21:41.319 --> 00:21:43.880 come in, as they usually do around this point in 449 00:21:43.920 --> 00:21:44.359 the show. 450 00:21:44.720 --> 00:21:48.200 Is that was that a stone included Egyptian hieroglyphs, didn't it? 451 00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:50.640 Well, no, no, no, I take it back, I don't. 452 00:21:50.680 --> 00:21:52.119 I don't know if there was that Ai zone included 453 00:21:52.160 --> 00:21:55.359 Egyptian hieroglyphs. But the Greeks are coming in on this 454 00:21:55.519 --> 00:21:57.960 at this part of the show because we actually know 455 00:21:58.559 --> 00:22:02.279 more about the ummification process in Egypt due to the 456 00:22:02.319 --> 00:22:05.559 writing of the Greeks then the writing of the Egyptians. 457 00:22:05.640 --> 00:22:07.400 Yeah, that's why I brought up the Resetta Stone, because 458 00:22:07.400 --> 00:22:11.640 that was shit where they were out here just transcribing 459 00:22:11.640 --> 00:22:13.920 stuff in three languages the same sign, right, and so 460 00:22:13.960 --> 00:22:17.240 it sometimes it takes another culture to come up and 461 00:22:17.279 --> 00:22:21.039 be like, hey, this way to Denny's on the sign 462 00:22:21.319 --> 00:22:23.400 is written for everyone who lives there, and you're not 463 00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:25.079 going to get that if it's all just hieroglyphs, if 464 00:22:25.079 --> 00:22:28.400 it's all just Latin. So yeah, I guess Greeks are 465 00:22:28.400 --> 00:22:30.119 pretty cool because they wrote things down. 466 00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:33.480 Well, not only did they and preserved it. Yes, they 467 00:22:33.480 --> 00:22:35.880 did write it down and preserve it. The problem that 468 00:22:35.920 --> 00:22:37.880 we will face here in a moment is that. 469 00:22:37.839 --> 00:22:39.720 The financial collapse they faced a few years ago. 470 00:22:40.119 --> 00:22:41.200 Do they have money anymore? 471 00:22:41.240 --> 00:22:44.680 I don't know. The Greeks, like the countryquent bankrupt. 472 00:22:44.759 --> 00:22:46.720 I think they have money, but they don't have jobs. 473 00:22:46.799 --> 00:22:49.559 I think is okay, we're hurdling towards that. We just 474 00:22:49.559 --> 00:22:51.319 start writing everything down and triplicate too. 475 00:22:51.519 --> 00:22:53.799 No, the issue is that the writing we have isn't 476 00:22:53.960 --> 00:22:58.640 contemporary with mummification processes, so like we don't have the 477 00:22:58.680 --> 00:23:01.000 first hand witnesses to a lot of it, but we 478 00:23:01.079 --> 00:23:04.799 have what was what was recorded as having been passed down. 479 00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:08.920 So thanks to the writing of Herodotus, Deodorus Siculus, and 480 00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:12.960 fragments of Plutarch's writing. We do know convention this weekend. 481 00:23:13.000 --> 00:23:15.160 We're hoping people are wearing Diyota title this serve. 482 00:23:14.960 --> 00:23:19.279 Like I just said, Ed's making a stinky comic fan joke. 483 00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:21.039 We'll see you at Wonder con folks. 484 00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:22.240 Yeah, this will come after that. 485 00:23:22.319 --> 00:23:25.160 But that's true. But thanks to the writing of those three, 486 00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:28.640 we do know a lot of the process and we 487 00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:31.200 have also been able to confirm a lot of what 488 00:23:31.240 --> 00:23:35.440 they wrote by mummifying things with the processes that they 489 00:23:35.559 --> 00:23:37.720 wrote about in the present. 490 00:23:37.839 --> 00:23:39.880 So if only the Greeks were there for those fucking 491 00:23:40.319 --> 00:23:44.039 Homunculi stuff, had better Homunculi records. 492 00:23:43.519 --> 00:23:46.480 We could have we might actually have Humunculi in the 493 00:23:46.519 --> 00:23:47.279 studio with us. 494 00:23:47.279 --> 00:23:50.079 Oh hell yeah, at the homunculirius level of patrion. You 495 00:23:50.079 --> 00:23:51.880 can get your own one cent too. It will dial 496 00:23:51.880 --> 00:23:52.279 on the way. 497 00:23:52.359 --> 00:23:54.599 It will be made from equal parts my shit and 498 00:23:54.759 --> 00:23:57.319 Ed's come. It's going to be an incredible little man. 499 00:23:57.440 --> 00:24:00.839 Yeah, but we're going to write for the service that 500 00:24:00.880 --> 00:24:04.240 it's a book. I guess the Greeks would have to 501 00:24:04.240 --> 00:24:06.400 go home and try it a few times, just because 502 00:24:06.440 --> 00:24:09.200 there could be. You know, I've seen enough movies about 503 00:24:09.279 --> 00:24:12.559 journalists where it's like, don't tell them, or even my 504 00:24:12.759 --> 00:24:15.599 mom giving out recipes, she doesn't want it to be 505 00:24:15.640 --> 00:24:17.359 if it's like a family recipe, she might leave like 506 00:24:17.400 --> 00:24:19.880 one really important thing out right so that people can't 507 00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:21.799 replicate as good of granola. 508 00:24:22.039 --> 00:24:24.480 And but it hang on a second, and journalists leave 509 00:24:24.519 --> 00:24:25.400 important things out. 510 00:24:25.400 --> 00:24:27.480 Why No, I meant people who were like talking to 511 00:24:27.559 --> 00:24:30.720 a journalist as my source might leave out something that 512 00:24:30.759 --> 00:24:34.119 would reveal icy and so I guess I would have 513 00:24:34.200 --> 00:24:35.480 to go back and test. It could be like I 514 00:24:35.480 --> 00:24:38.680 don't know fucking whomever told me in Egypt, this is 515 00:24:38.680 --> 00:24:40.279 how you do it. But he could have had over 516 00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:42.680 his shoulder, like we never revealed to the men from 517 00:24:42.720 --> 00:24:46.759 over the horizon, the like white guy that came, We're 518 00:24:46.759 --> 00:24:49.119 not going to tell him exactly how this ancient procedure 519 00:24:49.160 --> 00:24:51.680 goes ICEE. I like leave out the part about how 520 00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:52.480 they get powers. 521 00:24:52.799 --> 00:24:55.079 Well they I think they did leave out the part 522 00:24:55.079 --> 00:24:57.279 about how they get powers, because nothing that was written 523 00:24:57.319 --> 00:25:00.480 down has anything to do with infusing a mummy with 524 00:25:00.680 --> 00:25:04.279 magical powers. But we do know that the earliest detailed 525 00:25:04.279 --> 00:25:08.319 account of Egyptian mummification comes from Herodotus writing around four 526 00:25:08.319 --> 00:25:11.000 to fifty BC. And I don't want to get too 527 00:25:11.039 --> 00:25:14.599 sidetracked by Herodotus, but he is a super interesting figure 528 00:25:15.160 --> 00:25:18.039 based on how much he traveled and the quality of 529 00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:21.920 his writing. They think, and by they, I mean archaeologists 530 00:25:21.720 --> 00:25:24.359 and people who study the classics and stuff think that 531 00:25:24.799 --> 00:25:28.279 he seems to have been very wealthy and educated. But 532 00:25:28.359 --> 00:25:31.400 no one has any idea where his money came from. 533 00:25:31.680 --> 00:25:33.240 Which if you had a ton of money in four 534 00:25:33.359 --> 00:25:37.240 fifty BC, and I mean people know, but if but 535 00:25:37.519 --> 00:25:41.160 you didn't get it anywhere or good. But also I 536 00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:41.680 think about this. 537 00:25:41.720 --> 00:25:43.400 Even Indiana Jones is probably gonna come up a lot 538 00:25:43.400 --> 00:25:44.759 in this episode, But I think about this, and even 539 00:25:44.759 --> 00:25:47.400 Indiana Jones where it's like the thirties, Yeah, and it 540 00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:50.759 was like he took a zeppelin there, Like these red 541 00:25:50.799 --> 00:25:53.000 lines on the screen across the map are not taking 542 00:25:53.039 --> 00:25:55.599 into account that was weeks yeah, Like so the fact 543 00:25:55.640 --> 00:25:57.759 that this guy's doing it even before that, he's on 544 00:25:57.839 --> 00:26:02.079 some weird trade ship like in three point thirty BC. Yeah, 545 00:26:02.119 --> 00:26:05.119 to get to a place that like someone assured him 546 00:26:05.200 --> 00:26:07.799 was there, like he's ever been to fucking well no, 547 00:26:07.839 --> 00:26:09.799 because even Julius Caesar, and it would be years later 548 00:26:09.799 --> 00:26:12.160 that they would ever go to hang out with Cleopatra. 549 00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:14.799 I'm saying, so this guy is really taking a chance 550 00:26:14.839 --> 00:26:17.640 that there is in Egypt, that there are things of 551 00:26:17.799 --> 00:26:22.039 interest there. And then also being rich, you're just carrying 552 00:26:22.079 --> 00:26:24.759 a bunch of gold or silver, hay. 553 00:26:24.759 --> 00:26:28.279 Or in the currency he didn't have checks then yeah, exactly. 554 00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:30.480 Yeah, so it's like, fuck, man, you had to show 555 00:26:30.519 --> 00:26:32.400 up with, Like, I hope this is enough gold to 556 00:26:32.759 --> 00:26:36.640 not kill, but also not so much that I'm instantly killed. 557 00:26:36.680 --> 00:26:39.160 True, you know, it's a it's a very fine line 558 00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:42.240 amount of gold that you need to have all times. 559 00:26:42.400 --> 00:26:45.359 Which also makes me think Togas must have just spen 560 00:26:45.480 --> 00:26:48.119 for the Senate, Like this guy had to have a backpack, 561 00:26:48.519 --> 00:26:51.680 maybe some clothes toed shoes, like he's gonna be tracking 562 00:26:51.720 --> 00:26:54.599 in the sun. Well, God, we're gonna let us know 563 00:26:54.640 --> 00:26:56.200 if you want us to do a full episode on 564 00:26:56.400 --> 00:26:59.680 Ed Learns about the very specific things that have nothing 565 00:26:59.720 --> 00:27:01.200 to do with the show that have interested me. 566 00:27:07.240 --> 00:27:11.200 Herodotus's most famous piece of writing is a book called 567 00:27:11.240 --> 00:27:14.680 The Histories, and it garnered him two memorable nicknames and 568 00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:18.000 two Peabody Awards. The father of history and the father 569 00:27:18.160 --> 00:27:22.079 of lies. The book opens with a hell of a line. 570 00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:26.480 Herodotus of Halikarnassis here displays his inquiry so that human 571 00:27:26.519 --> 00:27:29.920 achievements may not become forgotten in time, and great and 572 00:27:30.039 --> 00:27:34.599 marvelous deeds, some displayed by Greeks, some by barbarians, may 573 00:27:34.680 --> 00:27:39.000 not be without their glory, according to modern scholars. Quote 574 00:27:39.000 --> 00:27:42.720 what cements Herodotus as the father of history, where his 575 00:27:42.759 --> 00:27:46.960 attempts to explain the course of human events through causal consequences. 576 00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:49.640 This blew my mind because I'd never thought about this before. 577 00:27:49.680 --> 00:27:53.359 But he basically was on the tip of like this 578 00:27:53.440 --> 00:27:56.920 set of decisions by people led to a certain action, 579 00:27:57.359 --> 00:28:01.039 which brought on another reaction, and so on. Before that, 580 00:28:01.240 --> 00:28:05.960 the idea of the past and history was literally just who, what, when? Why? Where? 581 00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:09.079 Speaking to the warless or anyone, Yeah, who's writing right now? 582 00:28:09.160 --> 00:28:10.920 You usually will suffice. You don't have to. 583 00:28:11.039 --> 00:28:12.680 Well, not the way so far, we don't have Usually 584 00:28:12.680 --> 00:28:14.160 we don't get those from writing anymore. 585 00:28:14.319 --> 00:28:16.599 Not not the why, the who, the what, and the when? 586 00:28:16.720 --> 00:28:17.640 I guess he introduced. 587 00:28:17.839 --> 00:28:20.920 He introduced the why, sure, okay, why did the Persians 588 00:28:20.920 --> 00:28:23.640 hate the Greeks so much? Why did mighty Egypt, the 589 00:28:23.680 --> 00:28:26.720 crown jewel of antiquity fall to the Persians. Why did 590 00:28:26.759 --> 00:28:29.920 one powerful and leader after another fall victim to pride, 591 00:28:29.960 --> 00:28:34.400 revenge or greed. So they say that Herodotus invented history 592 00:28:34.440 --> 00:28:36.480 as we know it because he was the first to 593 00:28:36.480 --> 00:28:39.359 see these myriad stories from the past as small parts 594 00:28:39.400 --> 00:28:43.839 of a bigger story, the story of the known human world. Now, 595 00:28:43.839 --> 00:28:47.160 the problem is that the best historical data he could 596 00:28:47.160 --> 00:28:51.319 get his hands on were called logoi, the stories told 597 00:28:51.319 --> 00:28:54.079 by people who either witnessed an event firsthand or had 598 00:28:54.079 --> 00:28:57.599 received knowledge passed down through strong oral traditions. And the 599 00:28:57.640 --> 00:29:02.759 logoi weren't always the most reliable. Oh no, Herodotus wrote 600 00:29:02.759 --> 00:29:07.079 of winged serpents in Arabia, giant gold digging ants, and 601 00:29:07.119 --> 00:29:10.680 made claims about battles where almost everyone involved died. So 602 00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:13.359 there's a big question about who was left to describe 603 00:29:13.440 --> 00:29:14.599 what happened in the battle? 604 00:29:14.759 --> 00:29:17.359 Okay to him, but I will say to his point, 605 00:29:17.519 --> 00:29:20.000 to the first guy to bring the why into the equation, 606 00:29:21.319 --> 00:29:24.160 how often do inean. 607 00:29:23.960 --> 00:29:24.920 Jones or anything else? 608 00:29:25.319 --> 00:29:28.000 Where you see it was like, oh, this hieroglyph says 609 00:29:28.119 --> 00:29:31.319 like this is based on the Sanskrit word for whatever, 610 00:29:31.519 --> 00:29:34.680 because they believed that the earth was made by God 611 00:29:34.799 --> 00:29:37.920 had two piles of sand and then he did this. 612 00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:43.000 So the why, the cause and effect were mythology. Yeah, mythos, 613 00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:45.079 including by the way, very famously from the Greeks. 614 00:29:45.200 --> 00:29:45.359 Yeah. 615 00:29:45.440 --> 00:29:47.839 Yeah, So he might have been the first guy who 616 00:29:47.880 --> 00:29:50.680 was like, maybe it wasn't a cinaur, let me go see. 617 00:29:50.720 --> 00:29:52.319 And then he unfortunately for him, and he had to 618 00:29:52.359 --> 00:29:54.039 write it down because he's good at his job. He 619 00:29:54.160 --> 00:29:55.640 was like a lot of places think it's a cinaur. 620 00:29:56.039 --> 00:29:58.480 Like a lot of places they have different words for it. 621 00:29:58.640 --> 00:30:01.599 Yeah, but a lot of the same shit we've got 622 00:30:01.640 --> 00:30:04.160 because no one was around to be like, oh, this 623 00:30:04.680 --> 00:30:05.960 guy wanted power. 624 00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:08.519 Right right, So he did dig up a lot of truths, 625 00:30:08.559 --> 00:30:11.079 but he was a storyteller at heart, and you know, 626 00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:13.839 he could only check some of this information, sort of 627 00:30:13.839 --> 00:30:16.240 like this podcast. He could only do so much fact checking, 628 00:30:16.240 --> 00:30:18.440 and he went, hey, you know what, this sounds pretty good. 629 00:30:18.480 --> 00:30:20.000 We're gonna go with this. We do more than most. 630 00:30:20.039 --> 00:30:22.240 So we have to keep all that in mind. Because 631 00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:26.839 his account of Egyptian burial traditions starts plainly enough with 632 00:30:27.000 --> 00:30:30.720 descriptions of grief. He tells us that after a loved 633 00:30:30.720 --> 00:30:34.200 one passed, women of the household covered themselves in mud 634 00:30:34.599 --> 00:30:38.839 and walked through town beating their bare breasts. Okay, but 635 00:30:38.880 --> 00:30:43.240 then comes the part about necrophilia. According to Herodonus, if 636 00:30:43.319 --> 00:30:47.200 the deceased was a beautiful or distinguished woman, the family 637 00:30:47.279 --> 00:30:50.000 deliberately held the body in the home for three to 638 00:30:50.039 --> 00:30:54.079 four days to avoid before sending it to the embalmers, 639 00:30:54.599 --> 00:30:57.200 because they wanted to make sure the body was gross 640 00:30:57.279 --> 00:31:00.720 and stinky and rotten enough that if there were lecherous 641 00:31:00.720 --> 00:31:01.400 embalm are. 642 00:31:01.359 --> 00:31:03.400 Involved in the process, which is all of them. 643 00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:06.519 Which was probably in many of them, he would not 644 00:31:06.720 --> 00:31:09.000 try to ship where he eats. 645 00:31:09.039 --> 00:31:11.200 So to speare, right now, you're not allowed to make 646 00:31:11.279 --> 00:31:17.279 rules in this year United States about like there's like 647 00:31:17.319 --> 00:31:20.039 a you can't just say I'm I'm not gonna hire 648 00:31:20.079 --> 00:31:22.119 Chris because he's a fucking disgusting Italian. 649 00:31:22.200 --> 00:31:24.920 Yeah, I can't do that here correct these days? 650 00:31:25.039 --> 00:31:26.759 Right, I think we should be able to make a 651 00:31:26.839 --> 00:31:28.759 rule that, like, you can't work in a morgue if 652 00:31:28.759 --> 00:31:29.359 you're a guy. 653 00:31:29.839 --> 00:31:30.400 Like you know what I mean. 654 00:31:30.880 --> 00:31:33.400 I'm not saying anything's gonna happen, but I would say 655 00:31:33.440 --> 00:31:36.079 that Aramaalabalus or whatever here's gonna be like And on. 656 00:31:36.119 --> 00:31:41.119 My thirtieth interview, Herodotus and a chronicler of modern history, 657 00:31:41.200 --> 00:31:44.599 Quentin Tarantino, both show us what happens to a body 658 00:31:44.680 --> 00:31:45.440 left out more. 659 00:31:45.519 --> 00:31:47.119 I think if it was put up to a vote 660 00:31:47.119 --> 00:31:49.519 to society, I think people would be like, yes, is 661 00:31:49.559 --> 00:31:52.079 it against the freedoms of the people in this It is? 662 00:31:52.119 --> 00:31:54.039 But you know what, we're all on board. Yeah, just 663 00:31:54.200 --> 00:31:57.680 ladies work here so and also women fucking Jesus that 664 00:31:58.440 --> 00:32:02.559 horrible lives and probably still definitely still. But I'm saying, 665 00:32:02.640 --> 00:32:05.039 like every one of the stories we do that go 666 00:32:05.160 --> 00:32:09.599 back earlier than like like it was like boo, that's rough. 667 00:32:09.799 --> 00:32:12.160 The only way to keep the women from being assaulted 668 00:32:12.400 --> 00:32:16.920 was to hide them. Yeah, So, to be fair, no 669 00:32:16.960 --> 00:32:20.039 one else has ever made this claim about the bodies 670 00:32:20.039 --> 00:32:21.440 being kept at home to write. 671 00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:24.079 The only real one, dude, well will tell you what's up. 672 00:32:24.160 --> 00:32:27.039 Herodotus is the only one that gonzo journalists. He is, 673 00:32:27.279 --> 00:32:29.359 so it has to be taken with a grain of salt. 674 00:32:29.759 --> 00:32:30.079 Uh. 675 00:32:30.279 --> 00:32:32.440 It may be one of the lies that he fathered. 676 00:32:32.880 --> 00:32:37.000 But we luckily also have the writings of Deodoris Siculus, 677 00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:40.759 who is generally considered a bit more reliable, although still 678 00:32:40.880 --> 00:32:44.440 relying on a lot of the same skills that Herodotus us. 679 00:32:44.519 --> 00:32:46.440 He just wanted to be able to put it on TikTok. 680 00:32:46.519 --> 00:32:50.759 He's over here writing segs alived, were our boy? 681 00:32:50.799 --> 00:32:51.279 Hiraki? 682 00:32:51.640 --> 00:32:54.920 Yeah, I'm never gonna have these names. He's he's just 683 00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:56.240 like he doesn't give a fuck. 684 00:32:56.400 --> 00:32:59.319 U Yeah, well, deodor As Siculus tells us that the corpse, 685 00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:01.880 once they at it, would be sent to what the 686 00:33:01.920 --> 00:33:06.720 Egyptians called the Pernepher, which translates to house of beauty, 687 00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:09.880 which I think is really just a fancy and sort 688 00:33:09.880 --> 00:33:13.799 of optimistic name for the embalmers, just like a modern 689 00:33:13.880 --> 00:33:16.720 day burial or the scaret all the time Patreon. The 690 00:33:16.759 --> 00:33:21.799 family would be presented with three options from most expensive 691 00:33:22.119 --> 00:33:25.240 to least expensive, and we'll get to the differences in 692 00:33:25.279 --> 00:33:29.640 a moment, But after the family chose their tear, the 693 00:33:29.759 --> 00:33:32.920 chief embalmer would get to work. This guy was known 694 00:33:33.000 --> 00:33:37.279 as the Harry Seshta, or Master of Secrets, and he 695 00:33:37.359 --> 00:33:40.640 wore a jackal mask to represent a Nubis, the god 696 00:33:40.680 --> 00:33:41.160 of the dead. 697 00:33:41.279 --> 00:33:42.839 Do you think one of the secrets he carries is 698 00:33:42.839 --> 00:33:44.880 what he does for a living at parties? 699 00:33:44.960 --> 00:33:48.960 Being like, I'm just sort of because the Harry Sheshta 700 00:33:49.480 --> 00:33:53.640 oversaw a team of specialists, all of whom, despite being 701 00:33:53.799 --> 00:33:59.279 priests with sacred anatomical knowledge, were also considered ritually unclean 702 00:33:59.640 --> 00:34:02.880 and how had to live in a segregated necropolis away 703 00:34:02.920 --> 00:34:03.599 from the living. 704 00:34:03.880 --> 00:34:07.400 Yeah that's that's one too many dinner party was ruined 705 00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:08.039 by these people. 706 00:34:08.199 --> 00:34:10.639 Yeah, that's said. They're like, look, you guys, you live 707 00:34:10.679 --> 00:34:11.119 over here. 708 00:34:11.159 --> 00:34:13.800 You can't talk about where anyone else put each other. 709 00:34:14.480 --> 00:34:18.559 But I do find it interesting the anatomical secrets, because 710 00:34:18.599 --> 00:34:21.960 you know, even in fictional fantasy, you'd have like Game 711 00:34:21.960 --> 00:34:24.440 of Thrones, you'd have these like measters or whatever, where 712 00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:27.039 it's like I'm gonna have a baby, go find a master, 713 00:34:27.360 --> 00:34:30.079 Like no one else was taught that. Yeah, only like 714 00:34:30.599 --> 00:34:34.199 religious or very wealthy people had any knowledge of. Yeah, 715 00:34:34.320 --> 00:34:36.320 I mean even some of our some of our heroes 716 00:34:36.400 --> 00:34:41.159 from from these episodes were like ladies had eighteeth or 717 00:34:41.280 --> 00:34:43.880 more teeth or whatever. It was like people straight up 718 00:34:43.880 --> 00:34:46.480 like if you weren't in that very specific club, you're 719 00:34:46.519 --> 00:34:47.039 just guessing. 720 00:34:47.360 --> 00:34:50.639 Yeah, And so these guys knew a lot, but knew 721 00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:52.639 a little too much to be let out in public 722 00:34:52.800 --> 00:34:56.039 so anyway, if you were, if your family chose the 723 00:34:56.079 --> 00:34:59.800 most expensive mummification method, as many of the mummies that 724 00:34:59.800 --> 00:35:02.440 we have, what we still have, yeah, the ones that 725 00:35:02.480 --> 00:35:05.400 were made with care. The first step was to remove 726 00:35:05.679 --> 00:35:10.480 the brain. Now, many of you who have seen anything 727 00:35:10.559 --> 00:35:13.239 mummy related or ed, as you suggested earlier, this had 728 00:35:13.280 --> 00:35:16.320 to This was done through the nose. A long hooked 729 00:35:16.400 --> 00:35:19.719 iron instrument was inserted to your nostrils. But that was 730 00:35:19.800 --> 00:35:22.679 not to pull the brain out. That was to break 731 00:35:22.719 --> 00:35:26.039 the fmoid bone, which is the thin plate of bone 732 00:35:26.079 --> 00:35:28.559 between your nose and your brain. That when people are like, oh, 733 00:35:28.679 --> 00:35:31.159 if you give them a palm strike, yeah, break the 734 00:35:31.239 --> 00:35:34.000 fmoid bone. Oh, no one ever said the second part. Well, 735 00:35:34.039 --> 00:35:36.119 I heard it goes into their brain. That's the if 736 00:35:36.159 --> 00:35:38.599 you palm strike someone's nose. The idea is you shadow 737 00:35:38.920 --> 00:35:41.280 ship into their brain. But then cocaine can get around 738 00:35:41.320 --> 00:35:43.559 it without issue. I get well, not without issue, if 739 00:35:43.559 --> 00:35:47.440 any how much cocaine you do. But you had to 740 00:35:47.440 --> 00:35:50.599 break the bone first, and then this hook was used 741 00:35:50.639 --> 00:35:53.320 to liquefy the brain matter. But then the brain matter 742 00:35:53.440 --> 00:35:54.880 was not pulled out on a hook. 743 00:35:54.880 --> 00:35:56.440 How is it liquefied? Did they make it hot? 744 00:35:56.719 --> 00:36:00.199 Oh buddy, you just stirred it up. You stir it up, 745 00:36:00.400 --> 00:36:03.119 and then you drained the brain out through the nose 746 00:36:03.239 --> 00:36:06.760 by gravity. And I hate this. We know that this 747 00:36:06.840 --> 00:36:11.360 works because in nineteen ninety four celebrated the release of 748 00:36:11.559 --> 00:36:17.039 never Mind. Yeah, this celebrated egyptologist and philosophy professor Bob 749 00:36:17.119 --> 00:36:21.039 Bryer or mister Mummy. According to the article I found, Wow, 750 00:36:21.320 --> 00:36:25.079 was so stumped by certain aspects of ancient mummification that 751 00:36:25.159 --> 00:36:28.320 he and a research partner named Robert Wade decided to 752 00:36:28.360 --> 00:36:32.880 create a mummy themselves, using only ancient techniques and materials. 753 00:36:32.920 --> 00:36:34.880 This should have been and hopefully not a member of 754 00:36:34.920 --> 00:36:35.880 their family. Yeah. 755 00:36:35.920 --> 00:36:38.119 Man, this is again, this is something where it's like 756 00:36:38.280 --> 00:36:42.159 by two people who decided to remain anonymous, Like why 757 00:36:42.159 --> 00:36:44.880 would you throw your name on this disgusting. 758 00:36:44.599 --> 00:36:47.639 Opposite of anonymous? I guess famous for this. Yeah, but 759 00:36:47.719 --> 00:36:49.760 I guess it has to get done because, like you said, 760 00:36:49.800 --> 00:36:51.800 it took a lot of trial and error, and after 761 00:36:51.920 --> 00:36:54.719 a lot of trial and error with I assume maybe 762 00:36:54.760 --> 00:36:56.400 bodies that were donated to science. 763 00:36:56.559 --> 00:36:59.280 No, it has to like and you know what, thank 764 00:36:59.320 --> 00:37:01.079 God for these two guys to do it, not to 765 00:37:01.159 --> 00:37:05.280 prisoners of war, Like, this is just like everyone's on board. Yeah, 766 00:37:05.320 --> 00:37:06.400 it's good if everyone's on board. 767 00:37:06.519 --> 00:37:09.159 Yeah. They confirmed after much trial and error that the 768 00:37:09.159 --> 00:37:12.159 brain was not pulled out in chunks as you would 769 00:37:12.239 --> 00:37:15.639 think in these movies. It was liquefied into brain stew 770 00:37:16.039 --> 00:37:18.559 and then poured out of the head through the nose 771 00:37:18.880 --> 00:37:19.639 and then it's. 772 00:37:19.519 --> 00:37:22.119 So attached to the head but the body at this point, yes. 773 00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:26.199 Okay, and then all that brain matter was just thrown 774 00:37:26.239 --> 00:37:30.760 away because to the Egyptians, they considered the brain useless. 775 00:37:30.800 --> 00:37:33.880 To them, it was the origin of mucus. That's what 776 00:37:33.880 --> 00:37:35.559 they thought the brain was for that it created the 777 00:37:35.599 --> 00:37:36.679 mucus in your body. 778 00:37:36.920 --> 00:37:39.920 The heart, it's just a bunch of little mucinex guys 779 00:37:39.960 --> 00:37:42.559 coming out of your nose. Hey, he's all shitty and 780 00:37:42.559 --> 00:37:43.480 like as like an accent. 781 00:37:43.679 --> 00:37:46.800 They believe that the heart was where intelligence lived. 782 00:37:46.840 --> 00:37:48.239 Honestly, it does for me too. 783 00:37:48.440 --> 00:37:49.960 This is a sweet thought. Yeah. 784 00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:52.519 Four chambers. They loved chambers. The heart has chambers. 785 00:37:52.559 --> 00:37:55.159 The heart has chambers. What episode was it where we 786 00:37:55.320 --> 00:37:58.280 learned that there was somebody else that thought the heart 787 00:37:58.320 --> 00:38:02.320 was where the heart was for warming your blood or something. 788 00:38:02.519 --> 00:38:04.079 I don't remember anymore. I'm sure it was one of 789 00:38:04.119 --> 00:38:06.440 our heroes, but it's uh. 790 00:38:06.639 --> 00:38:09.159 Yeah. People have had all kinds of weird thoughts about 791 00:38:09.199 --> 00:38:11.519 the brain, the heart, the stomach, the lungs. They had 792 00:38:11.559 --> 00:38:14.000 no idea until like twenty years ago that we're. 793 00:38:13.880 --> 00:38:16.519 All just like everything else. We're just a brain in 794 00:38:16.559 --> 00:38:19.599 a mechs suit. Yes, the reality of the situation, but yeah, 795 00:38:19.639 --> 00:38:21.559 I think we I don't think it's gonna work for 796 00:38:21.559 --> 00:38:23.159 a button of the month, but I do think we 797 00:38:23.199 --> 00:38:27.360 should build some sort of like ever evolving Mount rushmore 798 00:38:27.519 --> 00:38:31.719 of like nonsense heroes from the show. Yeah. Yeah, ladies 799 00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:34.159 have different amount of teeth. Yeah, like people who show 800 00:38:34.239 --> 00:38:36.559 up a bunch like Eronymous or Hew. No, he's a 801 00:38:36.679 --> 00:38:38.880 ronymus Bosh as an artist. Yeah, but I'm saying, like 802 00:38:38.920 --> 00:38:40.519 that can be fun. Yeah, it would be ext to 803 00:38:40.559 --> 00:38:42.760 remember the things we once did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I 804 00:38:42.880 --> 00:38:43.159 like this. 805 00:38:43.239 --> 00:38:46.400 I like this. Once the brain was juiced and dumped 806 00:38:46.400 --> 00:38:49.679 into the street, a scribe marked the left side God, 807 00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:53.760 a scribe marked the left side of the corpse is abdomen. 808 00:38:54.159 --> 00:39:00.559 Then a man again with very fine tuned, completely useless 809 00:39:00.599 --> 00:39:04.840 in every other aspect of life knowledge. This man called 810 00:39:04.840 --> 00:39:09.519 the Periski. I'm gonna fuck this up parastecise. A man 811 00:39:09.599 --> 00:39:14.599 called the parastecise or the slitter, stepped forward with an 812 00:39:14.599 --> 00:39:18.679 obsidian blade and made the incision down the abdomen city 813 00:39:18.840 --> 00:39:22.920 a cool rock. And then, according to Deodorus Siculus, the 814 00:39:22.960 --> 00:39:26.760 slitter immediately had to turn and run while his colleagues 815 00:39:26.800 --> 00:39:30.320 pelted him with stones and cursed him, because cutting a 816 00:39:30.360 --> 00:39:34.639 body was desecration, even when necessary. So the slitter was 817 00:39:34.679 --> 00:39:37.039 like a sin eater. He was like a ritual. 818 00:39:37.679 --> 00:39:39.480 Literally going to compare it to a seat. 819 00:39:39.639 --> 00:39:41.920 He did the dirty work and took the spiritual hit 820 00:39:42.000 --> 00:39:44.960 and was pelted with stones, So physical hits, it's like, 821 00:39:45.119 --> 00:39:49.519 so no one else had too. On a ship job. 822 00:39:49.920 --> 00:39:53.800 It's a ship job. This is a didn't Egypt also 823 00:39:53.840 --> 00:39:57.840 invent beer? They had I think they invented beer. 824 00:39:58.480 --> 00:40:01.199 They may have they had case, they had ales or 825 00:40:01.199 --> 00:40:02.239 something in which. 826 00:40:02.159 --> 00:40:05.159 I think is specifically for guys with this job. And 827 00:40:05.199 --> 00:40:06.880 it's like, I gotta go to the bar. How was 828 00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:08.480 your day? How do you think I'm a fucking slitter. 829 00:40:08.599 --> 00:40:09.800 I'm just gitting another round. 830 00:40:09.840 --> 00:40:14.159 Please. After the slitter fled and got drunk at the bar, 831 00:40:14.280 --> 00:40:17.400 and Embalmer reached into the incision that he made and 832 00:40:17.440 --> 00:40:22.159 pulled out everything except the kidneys and the heart. Let 833 00:40:22.239 --> 00:40:25.320 me do this, let me, let me dig into the corpse. 834 00:40:25.559 --> 00:40:26.480 This is fine. 835 00:40:26.800 --> 00:40:29.400 Yeah, what we do is fine. What he did was heinous. 836 00:40:29.599 --> 00:40:33.880 The removed organs were washed in palm wine, packed with spices, 837 00:40:34.039 --> 00:40:38.239 and placed into four jars, each jar guarded by one 838 00:40:38.280 --> 00:40:42.119 of the four sons of Horace. There was Imsetti, who 839 00:40:42.199 --> 00:40:45.519 had a human head and got the liver, Appi, the 840 00:40:45.559 --> 00:40:50.199 baboon headed one who got the lungs, Duamutef the jackal, 841 00:40:50.239 --> 00:40:54.480 who got the stomach, and Cabis sanoof the falcon, who 842 00:40:54.559 --> 00:40:59.239 got the intestines the jar. Yeah, yeah, right, there's like 843 00:40:59.440 --> 00:41:04.039 three small jars and one gigantic giant wine barrel size. 844 00:41:04.440 --> 00:41:07.559 The body was then packed inside and out with roughly 845 00:41:07.679 --> 00:41:11.519 five hundred eighty pounds of natron and naturally occurring salt, 846 00:41:11.639 --> 00:41:15.000 and left for forty days to dry out. Five hundred 847 00:41:15.119 --> 00:41:17.679 and eighty pounds. Yeah, almost six hundred pounds. 848 00:41:17.760 --> 00:41:21.239 I mean, how is that not shoving, you know, twenty 849 00:41:21.239 --> 00:41:23.039 pounds of shit in a five pound bag or whatever 850 00:41:23.159 --> 00:41:23.400 like that. 851 00:41:23.679 --> 00:41:26.840 Well, I'm I think the it was packed inside and out, 852 00:41:26.960 --> 00:41:28.320 so inside. 853 00:41:27.800 --> 00:41:30.039 It was incredibly dense and heavy. Maybe it's like a 854 00:41:30.039 --> 00:41:32.239 little bit of spent uranium goes a long way. Yeah, 855 00:41:32.360 --> 00:41:34.519 my brain, it's like, how do they fit that much 856 00:41:34.679 --> 00:41:36.320 in one? But maybe they're heavy. 857 00:41:36.679 --> 00:41:37.960 Well I think a bunch of it was put in 858 00:41:38.000 --> 00:41:41.440 and then they were probably packed around the body with 859 00:41:41.559 --> 00:41:43.639 the rest of it. Oh, so they probably put like 860 00:41:43.639 --> 00:41:45.559 forty pounds or whatever inside the body. 861 00:41:46.000 --> 00:41:48.039 You I thought this was fully turkey stuffing. 862 00:41:48.159 --> 00:41:51.519 No, no, okay. After the body was left for forty 863 00:41:51.559 --> 00:41:54.880 days to dry out, the cavity was stuffed with linen, sawdust, 864 00:41:54.920 --> 00:41:57.960 and sometimes onions, which that tells you how bad the 865 00:41:58.000 --> 00:42:02.679 body still smell that They're like, let's in here. Yeah. 866 00:42:02.719 --> 00:42:05.719 The skin was coated with ox fat and cedar oil 867 00:42:06.199 --> 00:42:09.199 and then cinnamon mrh and Frankincenseyes, I want. 868 00:42:09.039 --> 00:42:11.679 To eat these fucking things, but everything you described so 869 00:42:11.719 --> 00:42:14.239 far from like the spices in the heart or whatever. 870 00:42:14.280 --> 00:42:15.960 And then like all I would. 871 00:42:15.719 --> 00:42:20.079 I use like half these ingredients in cookies, Yeah, cookies. 872 00:42:21.199 --> 00:42:23.840 After the body was packed with cinnamon muhr and frankincense, 873 00:42:23.960 --> 00:42:27.719 each finger and each toe was individually wrapped in linen 874 00:42:27.800 --> 00:42:30.719 before the entire body was cocooned, and hundreds of yards 875 00:42:30.719 --> 00:42:34.280 of linen strips the most elaborate mummies used approximately four 876 00:42:34.360 --> 00:42:38.960 thousand square feet of linen. To RaSE the linen body plentiful. 877 00:42:39.000 --> 00:42:40.119 Whatever linen's made from. 878 00:42:40.239 --> 00:42:42.440 They made a lot of linens in Egypt. I guess 879 00:42:43.599 --> 00:42:45.840 looms or do they have looms that they don't know? 880 00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:47.639 I wish it could tell you, but I don't know. 881 00:42:48.199 --> 00:42:52.599 Protective amulets were then placed between well, I guess not then, 882 00:42:52.760 --> 00:42:55.760 but as the body was being wrapped in linens, protective 883 00:42:55.760 --> 00:42:57.280 amulets were placed between. 884 00:42:57.079 --> 00:42:59.159 The layers, so they were making great nachos. 885 00:42:59.400 --> 00:43:03.360 Basically, there was a widge at eye to protect against evil, 886 00:43:03.679 --> 00:43:06.559 a heart scareb to keep things light for judgment in 887 00:43:06.599 --> 00:43:11.559 the afterlife, and a headrest amulet to prevent decapitation in 888 00:43:11.599 --> 00:43:14.280 the next world. So to your point, you would think 889 00:43:14.360 --> 00:43:18.079 the smell would be horrendous, but a groundbreaking twenty twenty 890 00:43:18.079 --> 00:43:21.880 five study in the Journal of American Chemical Society analyzed 891 00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:25.960 nine mummies in Cairo and found that the dominant aromas 892 00:43:26.360 --> 00:43:30.360 of a mummy were woody, spicy, and sweet thanks to 893 00:43:30.440 --> 00:43:34.119 pine cedar and juniper resins mixed with myrr and frankinsense. Yeah, 894 00:43:34.159 --> 00:43:34.480 I'm sure. 895 00:43:34.519 --> 00:43:36.559 A guy pretty early on in this process was like, 896 00:43:36.920 --> 00:43:39.480 there's got to be a better way. Yeah, you know what, 897 00:43:39.599 --> 00:43:42.199 now they need uh popo ri to get to the 898 00:43:42.239 --> 00:43:44.000 other side, you know what I mean, just adding shit 899 00:43:44.079 --> 00:43:45.800 to not make it the most heinous job. 900 00:43:46.079 --> 00:43:48.039 Yeah, it's already hot in the desert. I still don't 901 00:43:48.039 --> 00:43:50.519 know about the onions, but hey, you know what, everything 902 00:43:50.519 --> 00:43:54.039 else sounds pretty good. So conservators have described the scent 903 00:43:54.119 --> 00:43:57.320 of a mummy as surprisingly pleasant. And it turns out 904 00:43:57.360 --> 00:44:02.519 the Egyptians actually equated a good smell with spiritual purity, 905 00:44:02.880 --> 00:44:06.239 so they were into, let's make this shit smell good 906 00:44:06.280 --> 00:44:08.000 because otherwise your soul's dirty. 907 00:44:08.159 --> 00:44:12.119 Also, like the Yankee candle factory there has like mummy smells. 908 00:44:12.280 --> 00:44:14.400 I was gonna say that might candle, that might be 909 00:44:14.440 --> 00:44:15.719 a good merch item for us. 910 00:44:15.920 --> 00:44:18.800 I don't I do make my own candles. I haven't 911 00:44:18.840 --> 00:44:21.079 in a while. I don't know if I'll be doing 912 00:44:21.119 --> 00:44:23.679 that soon because I've never got good at not having 913 00:44:23.679 --> 00:44:26.480 the wick just be like black smoke all the time. 914 00:44:26.960 --> 00:44:29.480 Right. So, like I said, all of this was the 915 00:44:29.519 --> 00:44:33.360 deluxe package. Yeah, I'm the twenty five dollars Patreon yea 916 00:44:33.360 --> 00:44:37.320 if you will. The mid range tire skipped the incision 917 00:44:37.400 --> 00:44:39.800 and the organ removal, so that guy was like, thank 918 00:44:39.840 --> 00:44:43.599 god if you got the mid range instead, cedar oil 919 00:44:43.880 --> 00:44:47.400 was injected through the anus, which was then plugged shut, 920 00:44:47.519 --> 00:44:49.920 and the body was left in salt, So you just 921 00:44:49.920 --> 00:44:54.400 got the old squirt cork, squirt cork in the salt. 922 00:44:54.599 --> 00:44:57.360 Seventy days later, the plugs removed, the oil comes out, 923 00:44:57.800 --> 00:45:01.400 all the dissolved organs squirt out with it, and really, 924 00:45:01.559 --> 00:45:05.159 quote from herodotus on that quote, nothing remains but the 925 00:45:05.159 --> 00:45:07.719 skin and bones. So that's the mid tier. You just 926 00:45:07.800 --> 00:45:08.920 kind of get that and they dump it. 927 00:45:08.920 --> 00:45:10.800 They don't put them in jars. I don't think, so 928 00:45:11.119 --> 00:45:13.440 got you, Okay, no physical rewards. 929 00:45:13.599 --> 00:45:18.039 The budget tier consisted of an enema with an unnamed liquid, 930 00:45:18.719 --> 00:45:19.920 which I'm thinking, maybe you think of. 931 00:45:19.920 --> 00:45:21.840 The previous liquid. They just took the other guy out 932 00:45:21.840 --> 00:45:22.440 of the other guy. 933 00:45:22.480 --> 00:45:25.400 Or this is where the brain juice went, is maybe 934 00:45:25.440 --> 00:45:26.119 what my thought. 935 00:45:26.280 --> 00:45:27.920 Fuck, dude, you're getting a brain juice plans. 936 00:45:27.800 --> 00:45:30.159 So you're getting a up the butt. Seventy days in 937 00:45:30.239 --> 00:45:34.199 Natron body returned, no wrapping, no jars, no ceremony, the 938 00:45:34.280 --> 00:45:41.639 salt salt Jimmy Natron Jimmy Natron boy enema, no wrapping, 939 00:45:41.719 --> 00:45:44.360 no jars, just sort of a here's your brother, you know, 940 00:45:44.519 --> 00:45:45.320 like justin I. 941 00:45:45.280 --> 00:45:47.199 Guess I didn't ask that the bodies go back to 942 00:45:47.239 --> 00:45:49.599 the family, I believe, so, so it's like a it's 943 00:45:49.639 --> 00:45:51.199 a pretty inconvenient. 944 00:45:51.039 --> 00:45:53.800 Well then you then you it's up to you where 945 00:45:53.840 --> 00:45:54.840 you put it, I guess. 946 00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:57.159 So then you have to hire an architect to get 947 00:45:57.199 --> 00:45:58.599 a fucking pyramid made. 948 00:45:58.760 --> 00:46:01.840 Yeah, if you're a giant family, you're just a regular family. 949 00:46:02.119 --> 00:46:05.360 I don't to be honest. On the mantle like ashes. 950 00:46:05.360 --> 00:46:08.599 Yeah, well they always say the home of the Mummy 951 00:46:08.599 --> 00:46:09.320 and it is haunted. 952 00:46:09.679 --> 00:46:12.599 No, the what's the history of the parlor used to 953 00:46:12.679 --> 00:46:15.199 be where the body was placed out? Oh yeah in 954 00:46:15.239 --> 00:46:18.000 the Victorian era, So maybe the Egyptians had their version 955 00:46:18.039 --> 00:46:20.639 of the parlor. I mean, at this point, this your 956 00:46:20.760 --> 00:46:23.119 your how big of these houses? Your loved one is 957 00:46:23.199 --> 00:46:28.079 basically a stuff fox. Yeah, so you can just put 958 00:46:28.119 --> 00:46:32.480 it wherever you sleep with it, just platonically. Not sure. 959 00:46:32.519 --> 00:46:34.599 The only thing it's like, what's that saying, It's like 960 00:46:34.639 --> 00:46:36.559 the only like whatever is death and taxes. 961 00:46:36.679 --> 00:46:38.960 The only thing is certain in life, Yeah, death in taxes. 962 00:46:38.960 --> 00:46:41.880 But I feel like we could make an Egyptian sitcom 963 00:46:41.920 --> 00:46:44.480 called Death and taxidermy, and the only thing is certain 964 00:46:44.480 --> 00:46:46.239 in life is death and taxidermy. And then it's like 965 00:46:46.280 --> 00:46:48.559 hard cut too. It's like, man, that's a lot of 966 00:46:48.639 --> 00:46:49.320 mummies in your. 967 00:46:49.199 --> 00:46:53.480 House, so that's how you make a human mummy. But 968 00:46:53.599 --> 00:46:56.920 humans weren't the only ones getting mummed up. The Egyptians 969 00:46:56.960 --> 00:46:59.159 mummified animals too, as I mentioned. 970 00:46:59.360 --> 00:47:00.880 Like a million million cats. 971 00:47:00.960 --> 00:47:06.039 They did this on an absolutely industrial scale. According according 972 00:47:06.079 --> 00:47:07.400 to history dot com, the. 973 00:47:07.400 --> 00:47:09.679 Chips of Hoy commercial when we were kids, like putting 974 00:47:09.719 --> 00:47:11.480 on the writs or whatever it is like playing yeah, 975 00:47:11.599 --> 00:47:12.039 but it's. 976 00:47:11.920 --> 00:47:15.599 Just the no, no, no, it wasn't. It wasn't putting on 977 00:47:15.599 --> 00:47:17.280 the rits. I don't Knowmber, the you you just did 978 00:47:17.280 --> 00:47:20.000 the like putting on the rits is bomb bomb boond No, 979 00:47:20.079 --> 00:47:21.039 it's not what. 980 00:47:21.199 --> 00:47:24.760 You just that's fucking freaksdatra or something that's New York, 981 00:47:24.840 --> 00:47:25.440 New York. 982 00:47:25.320 --> 00:47:26.599 That you're but you're thinking of. 983 00:47:27.119 --> 00:47:29.480 Uh the chips Hoy commercial. 984 00:47:29.760 --> 00:47:33.320 Uh when we were kid No no not not not no. 985 00:47:33.159 --> 00:47:34.239 No no no no no no. 986 00:47:34.320 --> 00:47:34.360 No. 987 00:47:37.719 --> 00:47:41.239 Hope is royalty free? Is that one from the commercial? 988 00:47:41.559 --> 00:47:44.679 It hads like a fun Glenn Miller orchestra ass yeah song, 989 00:47:45.280 --> 00:47:46.199 But either way, it's that. 990 00:47:46.320 --> 00:47:49.039 But with cats, it's all I'm getting it. Yes, and 991 00:47:49.079 --> 00:47:50.920 they weren't tap dancing though, they were just. 992 00:47:51.079 --> 00:47:53.039 Nobody tap dances in that either. I think they're just 993 00:47:53.119 --> 00:47:53.800 making cookies. 994 00:47:53.840 --> 00:47:55.760 I don't think I'm remembering a commercial. This may just 995 00:47:55.800 --> 00:47:56.280 be a dream. 996 00:47:56.320 --> 00:47:58.719 I think had dream you had because I think I'll 997 00:47:58.719 --> 00:47:59.840 find it, I'll put it in the show. 998 00:47:59.880 --> 00:48:03.960 Note anyway, Some mummified animals were intended as food offerings 999 00:48:04.000 --> 00:48:06.519 to humans in the afterlife, so they'd send you off. 1000 00:48:07.760 --> 00:48:09.719 In the afterlife. Got you should have waited for that part. 1001 00:48:09.920 --> 00:48:12.440 Many others were created to serve as sacred offerings to 1002 00:48:12.480 --> 00:48:15.440 the gods, who in ancient Egypt often took animal form, 1003 00:48:15.519 --> 00:48:20.280 including cats, cows, falcons, frogs, baboons, and vultures, among many others. 1004 00:48:20.880 --> 00:48:24.679 Animals mummified for this purpose as a sacred offering were 1005 00:48:24.679 --> 00:48:28.880 available for purchase or barter at sacred sites. So kind 1006 00:48:28.880 --> 00:48:30.920 of like picking up flowers on the way to the grave, 1007 00:48:31.159 --> 00:48:34.440 you'd swing by, you'd pick up the mummified baboon. Su 1008 00:48:34.719 --> 00:48:37.880 go lean it on your loved ones, mummy. 1009 00:48:37.519 --> 00:48:40.559 Show them you care with a mummified bear or something 1010 00:48:40.639 --> 00:48:42.800 like that. There was ads and shit chizzled into the 1011 00:48:42.800 --> 00:48:44.079 side of no zigger out. 1012 00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:46.519 To different nationalities. Yeah, chizzling piers. 1013 00:48:46.599 --> 00:48:48.079 By the way, I've ever seen the pictures of like 1014 00:48:48.440 --> 00:48:50.639 the Pyramids of Giza from the other angle, and it's 1015 00:48:50.639 --> 00:48:55.519 all just like KFC's and fucking yeah, that's a wild image. 1016 00:48:55.800 --> 00:48:58.639 Hey man, human race, we did great. Ye. The people 1017 00:48:58.719 --> 00:49:01.920 who bought these mummified animals would give them to a 1018 00:49:01.920 --> 00:49:04.840 priest who would then bury collections of the animals as 1019 00:49:04.880 --> 00:49:05.840 gifts for the gods. 1020 00:49:05.960 --> 00:49:08.760 We grew up with that, right, Like, wasn't uh, like 1021 00:49:08.920 --> 00:49:12.079 rabbits feet popular when we were kids, Like having a rabbit, Yeah, 1022 00:49:12.320 --> 00:49:12.920 lucky rabbits. 1023 00:49:12.920 --> 00:49:15.920 See, yeah, that's pretty different. I think this was sort 1024 00:49:15.960 --> 00:49:18.800 of rabbit foot it is, and I guess it was lucky, 1025 00:49:18.960 --> 00:49:22.400 so I'm not sure rabbit foot though. This practice was 1026 00:49:22.440 --> 00:49:25.920 actually considered mor akin to lighting a votive candle at church. 1027 00:49:26.360 --> 00:49:28.559 You go, you light a candle, and this is sort 1028 00:49:28.599 --> 00:49:30.559 of you would go, you bring a. 1029 00:49:30.679 --> 00:49:34.039 Wonder it's yeah, because it's like that seems pretty disposable 1030 00:49:34.119 --> 00:49:35.039 versus having a rabbit. 1031 00:49:35.639 --> 00:49:39.000 This was so widespread in Egypt that animal mummification became 1032 00:49:39.199 --> 00:49:43.760 big business. Archaeologists have found thirty catacombs in Egypt. 1033 00:49:43.840 --> 00:49:47.679 With each one they got their name catacombs. Uh. 1034 00:49:48.039 --> 00:49:51.440 I doubt it, but sure, quick, that's quick, that's what 1035 00:49:51.480 --> 00:49:54.360 I do. Uh. Each one of these was dedicated to 1036 00:49:54.400 --> 00:49:57.960 a single animal and packed floor to ceiling with mummies, 1037 00:49:57.960 --> 00:50:01.599 for a total that some reason estimate to be nearly 1038 00:50:01.840 --> 00:50:07.039 seventy million animal mummies produced over roughly twelve hundred years. 1039 00:50:07.920 --> 00:50:10.840 That's a booming industry. And here's the part where we 1040 00:50:10.920 --> 00:50:13.360 learned that humans have always really been the same, because 1041 00:50:13.360 --> 00:50:15.760 it turns out a lot of these mummies were a 1042 00:50:15.800 --> 00:50:19.000 scam a bat. In the largest study of that kind, 1043 00:50:19.320 --> 00:50:22.519 researchers at the Manchester Museum in the University of Manchester 1044 00:50:22.599 --> 00:50:25.360 have used X rays and CT scams to examine more 1045 00:50:25.360 --> 00:50:28.960 than eight hundred ancient Egyptian animal mummies, many of which 1046 00:50:29.000 --> 00:50:32.639 are now housed or stolen by British museums. While a 1047 00:50:32.760 --> 00:50:35.599 third of those mummies contain the well preserved remains of 1048 00:50:35.639 --> 00:50:39.800 complete animals, researchers found only partial remains in another third, 1049 00:50:40.119 --> 00:50:43.239 and in the last third they found that the mummies 1050 00:50:43.280 --> 00:50:46.400 were empty of all bones or any animal remains, and 1051 00:50:46.400 --> 00:50:49.400 the linens were stuffed with items such as mud sticks, 1052 00:50:49.679 --> 00:50:51.000 eggshells and feathers. 1053 00:50:51.159 --> 00:50:53.079 Wow, they couldn't use an onion on at those two 1054 00:50:53.079 --> 00:50:53.800 precious The. 1055 00:50:53.719 --> 00:50:58.039 Field Museum in Chicago confirmed their most beautifully detailed cat 1056 00:50:58.119 --> 00:51:00.280 mummy was completely empty inside. 1057 00:51:00.360 --> 00:51:03.119 I this is a job I'd actually fucking love to 1058 00:51:03.159 --> 00:51:05.559 have if I was like on the X ray team 1059 00:51:05.840 --> 00:51:08.920 at a museum. Every day is the most fun because 1060 00:51:08.920 --> 00:51:10.000 you're like making bets. 1061 00:51:10.079 --> 00:51:12.000 You're like, is it gonna be a fake? Is it 1062 00:51:12.039 --> 00:51:14.760 gonna be real? Are we gonna find thirty gold coins? 1063 00:51:14.800 --> 00:51:17.000 And yeah? Otherwise it a biggie bank, but it's a 1064 00:51:17.039 --> 00:51:20.599 literal pig. Yeah. Like that to me would be just 1065 00:51:20.679 --> 00:51:23.239 the coolest job. I'd also suggest to the Field Museum 1066 00:51:23.239 --> 00:51:25.920 of Chicago that a great thief may have swapped their 1067 00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:27.719 real cat mummy with a fake one. 1068 00:51:27.800 --> 00:51:28.920 Oh my god, I didn't think about that. 1069 00:51:28.920 --> 00:51:31.960 They might want to look into it seventy million times. Yeah. 1070 00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:35.920 Some scientists and archaeologists argue that the ancient customers knew 1071 00:51:36.239 --> 00:51:39.559 that these mummies didn't contain remains and the sticks and feathers. 1072 00:51:39.920 --> 00:51:42.519 This sounds like an old timey sales pitch. The sticks 1073 00:51:42.519 --> 00:51:45.079 and feathers were all considered just as important because they 1074 00:51:45.079 --> 00:51:47.119 had been in close contact with the animals. 1075 00:51:47.159 --> 00:51:50.800 Wow, that's after the first guy realized that it's bullshit. Yeah, 1076 00:51:50.800 --> 00:51:54.119 but also I'd love to see a family member being like. 1077 00:51:54.079 --> 00:51:55.639 There's bullshit lougging, there's. 1078 00:51:55.679 --> 00:51:59.840 Sticks, And it was like, Dave, I can't help notice 1079 00:52:00.239 --> 00:52:03.000 the mummified thing on the right was three hundred dollars 1080 00:52:03.440 --> 00:52:04.880 and the one you bought was a dollar. 1081 00:52:05.119 --> 00:52:07.519 Yeah, what did you think was in it? Yeah? Like 1082 00:52:07.559 --> 00:52:08.599 it was clearly displayed. 1083 00:52:08.679 --> 00:52:10.480 There's a price difference here. 1084 00:52:10.639 --> 00:52:13.599 You grabbed the display version and its nose is falling 1085 00:52:13.639 --> 00:52:16.199 off and you could see that there is hey in there. 1086 00:52:16.320 --> 00:52:18.599 Dude, It's like you got a great deal in this 1087 00:52:18.719 --> 00:52:20.639 votive candle. You cheat, piece of shit. 1088 00:52:26.400 --> 00:52:30.039 But mummies have been around much much longer than the 1089 00:52:30.079 --> 00:52:31.800 Egyptian mummies that most of us think of. 1090 00:52:31.800 --> 00:52:33.920 Been around almost as long as scams pretty much. 1091 00:52:34.000 --> 00:52:36.400 Yeah. Until the tail end of last year, the oldest 1092 00:52:36.480 --> 00:52:39.239 mummies we'd ever found were in the Ata Kama Desert 1093 00:52:39.280 --> 00:52:41.199 in modern day Chile and Peru, and we're going to 1094 00:52:41.239 --> 00:52:44.199 get to those in a minute. But in September twenty 1095 00:52:44.280 --> 00:52:46.840 twenty five, it was announced that we'd made an even 1096 00:52:46.920 --> 00:52:50.840 more ancient discovery. According to Smithsonian magazine, New News this 1097 00:52:51.000 --> 00:52:54.840 brand new news. This literally no joke. This literally turned 1098 00:52:55.159 --> 00:52:58.480 what we thought we knew about mummification like upside down. 1099 00:52:58.519 --> 00:53:00.679 At the very end of last year. Wow. According to 1100 00:53:00.679 --> 00:53:05.159 Smithsonia magazine quote, researchers examined fifty four graves in southern China, 1101 00:53:05.239 --> 00:53:10.360 the Philippines, Laos, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia. They noticed that 1102 00:53:10.440 --> 00:53:12.880 many of the bodies that they found in these graves 1103 00:53:12.880 --> 00:53:16.639 were tucked into tight crouching positions and that the remains. 1104 00:53:16.280 --> 00:53:19.639 Clutching tiger, hid and mummy. The remains I don't even 1105 00:53:19.679 --> 00:53:20.559 know if that's okay to say. 1106 00:53:20.679 --> 00:53:22.800 I think it's fine. I think it's fine. I'd watch 1107 00:53:22.840 --> 00:53:26.719 that movie. The remains looked burnt. The four thousand to 1108 00:53:26.880 --> 00:53:30.599 twelve thousand year old graves didn't contain any evidence that 1109 00:53:30.639 --> 00:53:33.440 there was ever been a fire within the grave, which 1110 00:53:33.480 --> 00:53:37.199 indicated the corpses were exposed to heat before being buried. 1111 00:53:37.840 --> 00:53:41.159 The scientists used non destructive techniques like X ray diffraction 1112 00:53:41.280 --> 00:53:45.239 and infrared spectroscopy to examine the bones, and these tests 1113 00:53:45.280 --> 00:53:48.920 revealed that the skeleton's discoloration, because they're like jet black, 1114 00:53:49.000 --> 00:53:52.559 some of them was caused not by direct combustion as 1115 00:53:52.599 --> 00:53:55.360 you would see in like a failed cremation of setting 1116 00:53:55.400 --> 00:53:58.199 the body on fire, try to cremate it, but exposure 1117 00:53:58.280 --> 00:54:02.480 to a low oxygen environment, and so the reason so it's. 1118 00:54:02.320 --> 00:54:04.519 Like drying meats or drying like foods. 1119 00:54:04.639 --> 00:54:07.599 The researchers concluded exactly that many of the bodies were 1120 00:54:07.639 --> 00:54:11.199 smoke dried. They were arranged in these crouched postures before 1121 00:54:11.280 --> 00:54:15.199 being propped over or positioned near a fire to slowly 1122 00:54:15.360 --> 00:54:19.960 dehydrate them, and this process deliberately preserve the remains, which 1123 00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:23.599 means they were mummified. Fuck man. The reasons that people 1124 00:54:23.599 --> 00:54:26.639 may have done this are almost as interesting as the process. 1125 00:54:26.679 --> 00:54:28.119 And this is where we get back to something else 1126 00:54:28.159 --> 00:54:30.920 you said earlier about how how do you carry these 1127 00:54:30.920 --> 00:54:32.679 guys around? Before the wheel They. 1128 00:54:32.559 --> 00:54:34.199 Think crouched them up. You put them on sticks like 1129 00:54:34.239 --> 00:54:36.440 in the cartoons. They is sooci as you you were 1130 00:54:36.480 --> 00:54:37.679 about to eat and put in a cold ring. 1131 00:54:38.039 --> 00:54:40.920 It is speculated that the people who created these mummies 1132 00:54:40.960 --> 00:54:43.840 may have been a nomadic tribe of hunter gatherers who 1133 00:54:43.880 --> 00:54:48.440 wished to travel with their dead, so they mummified them 1134 00:54:48.519 --> 00:54:51.119 so that they could be easily packed in the in 1135 00:54:51.199 --> 00:54:54.280 the carrions and shoveled off to the next location. 1136 00:54:54.440 --> 00:54:57.039 Also, just the idea that what we have is like 1137 00:54:57.119 --> 00:55:00.679 six guys here, but we don't have our shovels, so 1138 00:55:00.880 --> 00:55:03.119 we can throw them on a stick. Let's carry him out. 1139 00:55:03.199 --> 00:55:05.559 In one hundred years, we'll figure out how to bury them. 1140 00:55:05.639 --> 00:55:08.760 Yeah. Not every archaeologist agrees that that's what happened, though, 1141 00:55:08.760 --> 00:55:12.159 one such skeptic, Michael Green, told Smithsonian mag to quote, 1142 00:55:12.519 --> 00:55:14.960 some of the bones the researchers study had been heated 1143 00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:19.840 to more than nine hundred degrees fahrenheit, indicating something going 1144 00:55:19.920 --> 00:55:23.239 on the outside that is not going to something going 1145 00:55:23.320 --> 00:55:25.360 on on the outside of the body that is not 1146 00:55:25.440 --> 00:55:28.119 going to result in a smoking of the body, but 1147 00:55:28.199 --> 00:55:29.639 a burning of the body. 1148 00:55:29.760 --> 00:55:35.119 I mean, listen, Mike, fucking skeptic buzzkill, Mike, Yeah, you've 1149 00:55:35.159 --> 00:55:37.280 never gotten a phone call in the middle of making something. 1150 00:55:37.280 --> 00:55:38.920 Now your risotto stuck to the bottom of the van. 1151 00:55:39.079 --> 00:55:42.599 I'm sure every once in a while a fucking panther 1152 00:55:42.800 --> 00:55:45.599 came to attack the camp and they had to leave 1153 00:55:45.639 --> 00:55:48.079 the body. The body there a little too long. 1154 00:55:48.280 --> 00:55:50.360 His point basically is that whatever was done to these 1155 00:55:50.400 --> 00:55:53.800 bodies definitely involve fire, but it's possible that the mummification 1156 00:55:53.960 --> 00:55:56.119 was not the intended purpose, but it was some sort 1157 00:55:56.119 --> 00:55:59.360 of side effect. And it's tough to know who's right 1158 00:55:59.400 --> 00:56:00.039 because these are. 1159 00:56:00.159 --> 00:56:02.000 So old and people were eating people. 1160 00:56:02.440 --> 00:56:05.440 Yes, there was deff. There could have been some of that, 1161 00:56:05.519 --> 00:56:09.480 although it's unlikely because these corpses are like black charred. 1162 00:56:09.519 --> 00:56:10.880 We'll put it. I think I put a picture on 1163 00:56:10.920 --> 00:56:15.239 the shiver now. But something that, something that lends this 1164 00:56:15.320 --> 00:56:18.639 theory credence is that this style of mummification is still 1165 00:56:18.719 --> 00:56:22.960 practiced today by the Anga tribe in Poupun, New Guinea. 1166 00:56:23.119 --> 00:56:25.760 I found an article in National Geographic that reported on 1167 00:56:25.800 --> 00:56:29.000 what they called, quote the pungent smell of slow smoked 1168 00:56:29.039 --> 00:56:33.360 human flesh at the last known modern mummification, that of 1169 00:56:33.480 --> 00:56:36.199 village elder Gemptasu in twenty fifteen. 1170 00:56:36.199 --> 00:56:37.360 I think it was one of those things where they 1171 00:56:37.440 --> 00:56:41.199 found an uncontacted tribe from the smell and then they're like, 1172 00:56:41.239 --> 00:56:43.039 we need in the best part is the guy who 1173 00:56:43.239 --> 00:56:46.880 proposed going was like, something's so fucking good. Yeah, like 1174 00:56:46.960 --> 00:56:49.039 over there, we need to see what's going on. And 1175 00:56:49.079 --> 00:56:50.440 to this day they're like, oh. 1176 00:56:50.280 --> 00:56:53.920 Something smells delicious. Uh, we were burning bodies. Weirdly enough, 1177 00:56:54.000 --> 00:56:57.519 Anthony Bourdain discovered these guys on a no reservation trip 1178 00:56:57.719 --> 00:57:00.559 because like this smell is delicious. No they he described 1179 00:57:00.559 --> 00:57:04.800 the process. National Geographic describes the process of mummifying Gemtasu 1180 00:57:05.079 --> 00:57:09.079 like this quote. The mummification method follows a strict structure. 1181 00:57:09.400 --> 00:57:13.039 The body is suspended over a fire and as it bloats, 1182 00:57:13.360 --> 00:57:16.679 it is poked with wooden sticks to drain its fluids, 1183 00:57:16.719 --> 00:57:20.400 and later a stick is used to gently widen the 1184 00:57:20.440 --> 00:57:22.719 anus to allow the organs to fall out. 1185 00:57:22.800 --> 00:57:26.559 The tree is an amazing thing. Trees are fucking. 1186 00:57:26.400 --> 00:57:29.320 Rat from start to finish. The mummifiers must remain with 1187 00:57:29.320 --> 00:57:31.800 the body at all times, and no part of the dead, 1188 00:57:31.960 --> 00:57:35.559 including his fluids, his intestines, and the body is allowed 1189 00:57:35.599 --> 00:57:38.840 to touch the ground because that is a taboo invitation 1190 00:57:38.960 --> 00:57:40.920 for bad luck. So what are they using to catch. 1191 00:57:40.719 --> 00:57:41.360 All the juices? 1192 00:57:42.079 --> 00:57:45.119 Unclear? Wasn't described. I'd assume some sort of bowl or 1193 00:57:45.159 --> 00:57:48.039 a pot, or maybe the mouth made from tree. The 1194 00:57:48.079 --> 00:57:51.679 mouth of an unlucky warrior in training may own No, 1195 00:57:51.840 --> 00:57:54.679 that guy's not going to survive that. The finished mummies 1196 00:57:54.760 --> 00:57:58.079 are then placed up on cliff ledges to sit hundreds 1197 00:57:58.119 --> 00:58:02.480 of feet above their villages. Chief Moi, Mangao Mumma fight 1198 00:58:02.559 --> 00:58:05.280 in the nineteen fifties overlooks one village from over three 1199 00:58:05.360 --> 00:58:07.840 hundred meters up with twenty two of his boys at 1200 00:58:07.880 --> 00:58:11.599 his side. That's sick. Unfortunately, the result of this process 1201 00:58:11.679 --> 00:58:14.440 creates one of the most horrifying mummies I have ever 1202 00:58:14.480 --> 00:58:15.559 seen in my life. 1203 00:58:15.280 --> 00:58:17.880 And also a misunderstanding for anyone who shows up and 1204 00:58:17.960 --> 00:58:20.199 like they're counting the people and putting them there to 1205 00:58:20.239 --> 00:58:22.079 scare us away. Was like, no, that's just what we do. 1206 00:58:22.159 --> 00:58:24.239 We'll pop this up on screen. But ed, this is 1207 00:58:24.599 --> 00:58:30.000 what a smoke dried mummy in the modern day looks like, dude, 1208 00:58:30.039 --> 00:58:30.639 that's sick. 1209 00:58:31.239 --> 00:58:33.440 Like he's like a He's like in a hip hop pose. 1210 00:58:33.880 --> 00:58:35.840 This could be an album. He's got the rap squad, 1211 00:58:36.119 --> 00:58:38.480 yeah does. But he looks terrifying. He looks like the 1212 00:58:38.480 --> 00:58:44.079 cover of Cannibal Holocaust. Yeah. Or I was gonna say, oh, 1213 00:58:44.199 --> 00:58:45.519 zombie zombie movies. 1214 00:58:45.840 --> 00:58:47.480 Yeah, yeah, that's how you know our words in a 1215 00:58:47.559 --> 00:58:48.239 video store. 1216 00:58:48.840 --> 00:58:49.559 You know the cover. 1217 00:58:49.679 --> 00:58:50.400 I know the cover. 1218 00:58:50.639 --> 00:58:53.719 It might be like Zombie three. Maybe I know exact one. 1219 00:58:53.679 --> 00:58:55.559 Of the cover that I at first I which is 1220 00:58:55.559 --> 00:58:57.559 exactly what I was thinking of, And I thought Cannibal 1221 00:58:57.599 --> 00:59:00.039 Holocausts for I'm sure the cover doesn't have that. The 1222 00:59:00.079 --> 00:59:02.000 only time I've seen that fucking horrible movie that all 1223 00:59:02.039 --> 00:59:04.199 copies should be burned is because you showed it to 1224 00:59:04.239 --> 00:59:05.039 me on Joy Street. 1225 00:59:05.199 --> 00:59:07.440 Yep. I've shown that to a few people who have said, 1226 00:59:07.639 --> 00:59:08.599 why are we watching this? 1227 00:59:09.320 --> 00:59:11.199 I'm glad people got in trouble for that movie. 1228 00:59:11.400 --> 00:59:13.639 So this is one of the scariest mummies I have 1229 00:59:13.880 --> 00:59:15.880 ever seen, and that one showed me. 1230 00:59:16.199 --> 00:59:17.880 Yeah, that genuinely love that guy. 1231 00:59:19.199 --> 00:59:22.320 Well see if you love these guys, because the second 1232 00:59:22.440 --> 00:59:25.840 scariest mummy I've ever seen is also the second oldest 1233 00:59:25.920 --> 00:59:30.000 mummy in the world, the Chinchorro mummies of the Atakama Desert. 1234 00:59:30.079 --> 00:59:32.440 So ed, maybe we'll bring these up on screen while 1235 00:59:32.440 --> 00:59:34.119 we discuss what's happening. You can maybe put them in 1236 00:59:34.119 --> 00:59:36.320 a little box on the side or something. I'll show 1237 00:59:36.360 --> 00:59:38.119 you here in person, just so you can get a 1238 00:59:38.159 --> 00:59:38.880 look at. 1239 00:59:39.039 --> 00:59:42.119 Love it less, we're less and for people to know. 1240 00:59:42.760 --> 00:59:46.480 It's kind of like if and this is not probably 1241 00:59:46.480 --> 00:59:49.360 the actual thing that happened. This mummy looks like if 1242 00:59:49.360 --> 00:59:52.519 someone cut your face off mumma fied it separately, and 1243 00:59:52.559 --> 00:59:55.639 then placed it back on your head as you deflated. 1244 00:59:55.679 --> 00:59:57.119 Below this is another one. 1245 00:59:57.039 --> 00:59:59.320 And you know what, I think that's exactly what happened 1246 00:59:59.360 --> 01:00:00.519 is that's not a fuck face. 1247 01:00:01.000 --> 01:00:03.320 Nope, it's not a face. So it looks like a face. 1248 01:00:03.440 --> 01:00:07.119 It looks like the weird like heads in the wall, 1249 01:00:07.199 --> 01:00:10.360 Pink Floyd's the Wall. Yeah, it gets put on top 1250 01:00:10.400 --> 01:00:11.960 of you. That's way worse. I don't want that as 1251 01:00:11.960 --> 01:00:14.280 an album cover. I don't want that as a friend. 1252 01:00:14.639 --> 01:00:16.679 But the other guys I hang out with today. 1253 01:00:16.440 --> 01:00:18.840 I will say, though, the story of what's actually happened 1254 01:00:18.920 --> 01:00:22.679 here is like sweet to the point of its touching story, 1255 01:00:22.719 --> 01:00:26.079 despite how terrifying these mummies look. Yeah bad, Hang though. 1256 01:00:26.239 --> 01:00:29.480 The Cinchoro people were mummifying their dead in the deserts 1257 01:00:29.480 --> 01:00:32.360 of what is now Chile and Peru, roughly two thousand 1258 01:00:32.440 --> 01:00:37.199 years before Egypt's first mummy, so around fifty to fifty BC. Okay, 1259 01:00:37.440 --> 01:00:39.840 I think we touched on this tribe in episode. 1260 01:00:39.840 --> 01:00:41.960 Oh my god, that's so many years before B. 1261 01:00:42.320 --> 01:00:45.559 Yeah. Yeah, wait, no, that is B. It's so much B. 1262 01:00:45.960 --> 01:00:47.719 It's it's before C. Yeah. 1263 01:00:48.079 --> 01:00:50.000 Yeah, that's crazy. I guess the most I've ever heard 1264 01:00:50.039 --> 01:00:51.679 B before C that doesn't have a dinosaur. 1265 01:00:51.880 --> 01:00:55.239 I think we touched on this tribe somewhere in another episode. 1266 01:00:55.559 --> 01:00:59.360 But these were marine hunter gatherers who developed an extraordinary 1267 01:00:59.400 --> 01:01:06.679 process frommmification. The bodies were completely defleshed, scalped, disassembled, and 1268 01:01:06.719 --> 01:01:11.119 then reassembled with sticks and clay, coated in black manganese 1269 01:01:11.159 --> 01:01:15.079 paste and fitted with clay masks featuring modeled eyes and mouths. 1270 01:01:15.400 --> 01:01:17.920 It's believed that the goal was to make the dead 1271 01:01:18.079 --> 01:01:23.360 look alive. Now they failed some some archaeologists have described 1272 01:01:23.400 --> 01:01:26.840 these as sophisticated, which I would agree with, but also 1273 01:01:27.280 --> 01:01:30.400 visually appealing, which I would not agree with. Maybe to 1274 01:01:30.440 --> 01:01:31.199 a serial killer. 1275 01:01:31.360 --> 01:01:33.880 Yeah, if you know what you don't You don't know 1276 01:01:33.880 --> 01:01:35.360 what you're going to be into until you see it, 1277 01:01:35.480 --> 01:01:39.000 I guess. Unfortunately, Yeah, but that my body rejected this one. 1278 01:01:39.119 --> 01:01:43.920 There were actually four types of these mummies, black, red, bandaged, 1279 01:01:44.000 --> 01:01:46.440 and mud coated, so sort of like Egyptian mummies. We 1280 01:01:46.559 --> 01:01:49.079 ended up with a bandage. There was tears potentially. The 1281 01:01:49.239 --> 01:01:53.679 black mummies were the ones that I just described, Yeah, 1282 01:01:53.719 --> 01:01:56.199 the black paste, and they tend to be the oldest 1283 01:01:56.360 --> 01:02:00.360 examples of these mummies. The red mummies are a little newer, 1284 01:02:00.440 --> 01:02:03.480 and they were prepared slightly differently. According to an article 1285 01:02:03.519 --> 01:02:06.440 I found, quote, the body would first be disemboweled, the 1286 01:02:06.559 --> 01:02:10.159 organs removed through careful incisions. Then the body cavities were 1287 01:02:10.159 --> 01:02:13.440 filled with different elements such as soil and feathers. The 1288 01:02:13.519 --> 01:02:16.320 stitched up body would then be painted with red ochre 1289 01:02:16.599 --> 01:02:20.599 while the face was painted with black manganese. Unlike black mummies, 1290 01:02:20.760 --> 01:02:24.639 red mummies have long black wigs with no masks covering 1291 01:02:24.679 --> 01:02:28.920 their face. This is they. That's the other example we saw. 1292 01:02:29.199 --> 01:02:31.519 The first one that you commented on would be a 1293 01:02:31.559 --> 01:02:33.800 red mummy. I believe the black wig. 1294 01:02:34.119 --> 01:02:38.199 Sure, this is these are a people. We don't have 1295 01:02:38.480 --> 01:02:42.719 horror films without these people existing. This is the craziest. 1296 01:02:43.159 --> 01:02:45.119 And I was right that there was like ripping off 1297 01:02:45.159 --> 01:02:47.679 faces and doing it separately because you reassembled them. Yeah, 1298 01:02:47.840 --> 01:02:50.400 but this is a lot of trial and error. It 1299 01:02:50.480 --> 01:02:54.239 feels like and I'm sure huge arguments, but like Manganese 1300 01:02:54.239 --> 01:02:56.800 guys being like manganese. The only way bro, And it 1301 01:02:56.920 --> 01:02:59.039 was like, no, red is a vibe, we should do red. 1302 01:02:59.079 --> 01:03:00.320 And then they probably fought to the death. 1303 01:03:00.400 --> 01:03:02.599 I loved red ocre before anybody else ever heard of 1304 01:03:02.599 --> 01:03:03.079 red ochre. 1305 01:03:03.159 --> 01:03:05.239 Well, we're still to a manganese faces, And it was like, 1306 01:03:05.280 --> 01:03:07.480 oh blackface, Thatt'll age well, and they fight. 1307 01:03:07.840 --> 01:03:11.679 The black and red mummification styles are the most elaborate 1308 01:03:11.719 --> 01:03:14.960 of the Cinchurro mummies. The other two types, the bandage 1309 01:03:14.960 --> 01:03:17.920 and the mud coated, were a little bit less elaborate. 1310 01:03:17.960 --> 01:03:20.280 The beard to find manganese and red oak. At that point. 1311 01:03:20.400 --> 01:03:23.119 The bandage mummies were a variant of the red mummy, 1312 01:03:23.159 --> 01:03:26.119 with the skin being replaced with bandages, so instead of 1313 01:03:26.159 --> 01:03:28.519 stitching the skin back on, they just said, fuck it, 1314 01:03:28.599 --> 01:03:31.239 let's wrap it up. Sure. The mud coated mummies were 1315 01:03:31.360 --> 01:03:33.920 naturally dried bodies that were covered in a thick layer 1316 01:03:33.960 --> 01:03:38.159 of mud and were the newest Cinchurro mummies that we found, 1317 01:03:38.360 --> 01:03:41.079 which kind of sounds like they just got lazy. They 1318 01:03:41.119 --> 01:03:43.599 started being artists about this and then they're like, you 1319 01:03:43.599 --> 01:03:44.400 know what, I. 1320 01:03:44.320 --> 01:03:47.119 Think it's the same thing we see now. There's there's 1321 01:03:47.119 --> 01:03:49.760 a skill gap. Yeah, Like I think some people are 1322 01:03:49.760 --> 01:03:52.360 like I'm not going into this, dad, I'm gonna go 1323 01:03:52.440 --> 01:03:55.480 right TV yeah or whatever. And then hard cut too, 1324 01:03:55.519 --> 01:03:58.400 it's like we have no jobs and we don't know 1325 01:03:58.440 --> 01:03:59.480 how to fix our toilets. 1326 01:03:59.480 --> 01:03:59.800 It got in. 1327 01:04:00.559 --> 01:04:02.760 Yeah, so these guys everyone got white collar jobs in 1328 01:04:02.800 --> 01:04:06.079 this group, and nobody knew anymore. How to do it well. 1329 01:04:06.159 --> 01:04:09.800 But here's what's sweet about it. Unlike Egypt's hierarchical system 1330 01:04:09.840 --> 01:04:12.239 where only the rich and the wealthy got the full 1331 01:04:12.679 --> 01:04:18.880 nice treatment, Centurro mummification was radically egalitarian. Men, women, children, 1332 01:04:18.920 --> 01:04:22.880 and even miscarried fetuses all received the exact same style 1333 01:04:23.039 --> 01:04:25.639 of care, well, whatever style was popular at the time. Yeah, yeah, 1334 01:04:25.639 --> 01:04:26.760 because by the end they're just. 1335 01:04:26.760 --> 01:04:30.199 Getting thrown Yeah, like this is not. 1336 01:04:30.719 --> 01:04:34.000 In fact, the earliest and most elaborate mummies that we 1337 01:04:34.119 --> 01:04:39.800 found were infants and children, which anthropologists makes Bernardo Ariatza 1338 01:04:39.920 --> 01:04:43.800 suggests was a grief response. High arsenic levels in the 1339 01:04:43.840 --> 01:04:46.800 Camerones River where they lived along caused a lot of 1340 01:04:46.840 --> 01:04:50.840 miscarriages and stillburths, and mummification was how parents held on 1341 01:04:50.920 --> 01:04:52.639 to their lost children. That's nicest. 1342 01:04:52.639 --> 01:04:57.679 The rebirth doll of yeah, of the ancient times, almost more. 1343 01:04:57.519 --> 01:05:00.400 Horrifying looking than when they put that big black on 1344 01:05:00.519 --> 01:05:02.159 that baby. It's not gonna go great. 1345 01:05:02.280 --> 01:05:04.760 But I do think that's very sweet, and that there 1346 01:05:04.800 --> 01:05:07.719 is an element of like give them the full treatment 1347 01:05:08.000 --> 01:05:09.599 because they're without sin. 1348 01:05:09.679 --> 01:05:11.360 They're just little kids. 1349 01:05:11.400 --> 01:05:15.440 Like give Boris a fucking the shittiest wig, Yeah, because 1350 01:05:15.480 --> 01:05:16.880 he was kind of Dick when he was a lie, 1351 01:05:17.239 --> 01:05:18.400 you know what I mean, Let's not waste his time 1352 01:05:18.480 --> 01:05:20.079 on boris. But like, these kids did nothing wrong. 1353 01:05:20.199 --> 01:05:22.039 No, they had to, they had to dress them up. 1354 01:05:22.199 --> 01:05:24.880 So it certainly seems like no matter what culture you 1355 01:05:24.960 --> 01:05:28.639 were part of, mummification was a sacred somber ritual that 1356 01:05:28.719 --> 01:05:31.920 held great emotional and religious meaning. So of course, when 1357 01:05:31.960 --> 01:05:35.440 the Europeans got their hands on mummies, they immediately desecrated 1358 01:05:35.480 --> 01:05:39.559 them for health and pleasure. For roughly five hundred years, 1359 01:05:39.599 --> 01:05:44.079 from the twelfth through the eighteenth century, Europeans consumed ground 1360 01:05:44.159 --> 01:05:46.360 up Egyptian mummies as medicine. 1361 01:05:46.519 --> 01:05:49.119 And this, I'm sorry, what this all start sounds like 1362 01:05:49.239 --> 01:05:50.599 the gonna kill you whenever. 1363 01:05:50.679 --> 01:05:53.000 Don't put that in your body. Yeah, this all started 1364 01:05:53.000 --> 01:05:57.519 with the mistranslation. So get this. The Arabic word mumia 1365 01:05:58.159 --> 01:06:02.559 originally was the word for bitumen, which is a greasy, 1366 01:06:02.599 --> 01:06:06.519 black petroleum like product, which, according to a substack I 1367 01:06:06.559 --> 01:06:11.119 found written about this whole debacle, the bitumen or mummia's oil. 1368 01:06:11.440 --> 01:06:16.360 It did have legitimate uses like waterproofing ships and treating wounds. 1369 01:06:16.840 --> 01:06:22.719 But when European translate, yeah, when European translators encountered the word. 1370 01:06:23.320 --> 01:06:27.039 They confused it with the similar looking resin that coated 1371 01:06:27.119 --> 01:06:32.559 Egyptian mummies. So one Italian translator, Gerard of Cremona, the 1372 01:06:32.679 --> 01:06:36.519 wrongest man of all time, declared that mummia was created 1373 01:06:36.559 --> 01:06:39.960 when quote, the liquid of the dead mixed with the 1374 01:06:40.000 --> 01:06:44.480 aloes is transformed. Another scholar insisted that it formed when 1375 01:06:44.559 --> 01:06:48.440 spices used in mummification mixed with bodily fluids. 1376 01:06:48.480 --> 01:06:52.880 Body these two fucking homunculous ass So there's two giant 1377 01:06:52.960 --> 01:06:54.400 leaps of logic happening here. 1378 01:06:54.519 --> 01:06:58.519 Yeah. The first is that the stuff that was the 1379 01:06:59.079 --> 01:07:03.400 stuff on mummy looked like bitumen, which was used to 1380 01:07:03.480 --> 01:07:05.800 do actual things, which, by the way, neither of these 1381 01:07:05.800 --> 01:07:09.440 were for health benefits. Correct, So like they jumped from 1382 01:07:09.960 --> 01:07:12.719 they said, this looks like this other thing that didn't 1383 01:07:12.719 --> 01:07:15.000 really have any health benefits. 1384 01:07:15.119 --> 01:07:17.119 Yeah, but it was used. I've been giving my kids 1385 01:07:17.119 --> 01:07:20.280 insulation instead of gotten and it's fine. 1386 01:07:20.360 --> 01:07:23.440 They're doing great, they're doing great. The two leaps were 1387 01:07:23.840 --> 01:07:26.679 this stuff on mummies looks like this other stuff that's useful. 1388 01:07:27.320 --> 01:07:29.480 Then there was a leap of well, this other stuff 1389 01:07:29.519 --> 01:07:34.960 that's useful might have health properties, which then turned into, oh, 1390 01:07:35.280 --> 01:07:39.760 the stuff on mummies cures things, which then just jumped 1391 01:07:39.760 --> 01:07:43.360 straight to crushed up mummies cure thing. It's amazing and 1392 01:07:43.440 --> 01:07:44.079 I don't know. 1393 01:07:44.000 --> 01:07:46.519 If it's like a European exclusive thing. It doesn't sound 1394 01:07:46.639 --> 01:07:48.559 like it based on the fake cats. 1395 01:07:49.159 --> 01:07:51.719 But it seems like we can't go. 1396 01:07:51.679 --> 01:07:55.480 Three episodes without a snake oil salesman. No, like just 1397 01:07:55.719 --> 01:07:59.320 everything is, everything is like you want to be young forever, You. 1398 01:07:59.280 --> 01:08:02.440 Want to beautiful snort mummy powder? Yeah, eat mummy powder. 1399 01:08:02.519 --> 01:08:06.079 Do this within a few generations. Oh, mummies look young forever. 1400 01:08:08.159 --> 01:08:10.199 I mean, I'm sure that was the logic to a 1401 01:08:10.239 --> 01:08:12.519 certain point. It was like, look there, Yeah, if we 1402 01:08:12.599 --> 01:08:14.920 do it while we're alive, we'll be double young within 1403 01:08:14.960 --> 01:08:18.760 a few generations. Every well stocked European apothecary was selling 1404 01:08:18.840 --> 01:08:22.000 powdered Mummy. The sixteen eighteen London from. 1405 01:08:22.079 --> 01:08:25.520 You know, only like one eighteenth of those were powdered Mummy. 1406 01:08:25.680 --> 01:08:28.239 The rest were just like Cobblestone Street. 1407 01:08:28.000 --> 01:08:33.640 Oh dust thousand percent. Yeah. The sixteen eighteen London Pharmacopeia, 1408 01:08:33.680 --> 01:08:38.439 the official catalog of approved medicines in England, listed Mummy 1409 01:08:38.479 --> 01:08:43.000 alongside essential remedies and described the taste as quote somewhat 1410 01:08:43.039 --> 01:08:47.000 acrid and bitterish because you're eating a ground up dead person. 1411 01:08:47.199 --> 01:08:51.800 Side effects may include death immediately it was prescribed. Ground 1412 01:08:51.880 --> 01:08:59.439 up mummy was prescribed for headaches, epilepsy, plague, bruising, paralysis, nosebleeds, 1413 01:08:59.479 --> 01:09:03.640 and child birth. King Francis the First of France carried 1414 01:09:03.680 --> 01:09:08.039 a personal pouch of powdered mummy mixed with rhubarb everywhere 1415 01:09:08.039 --> 01:09:08.359 he went. 1416 01:09:08.439 --> 01:09:10.319 Something tells me there was a King Francis the second 1417 01:09:10.359 --> 01:09:11.600 real quick after. 1418 01:09:11.720 --> 01:09:14.399 Charles the second of England, rubbed mummy on his skin 1419 01:09:14.520 --> 01:09:17.680 to quote, absorb the greatness of pharaohs, and even had 1420 01:09:17.720 --> 01:09:22.520 a signature cocktail called the King's Drops, which was powdered 1421 01:09:22.600 --> 01:09:24.680 human skull dissolved in alcohol. 1422 01:09:24.880 --> 01:09:26.880 There's a It's a power you can't buy. 1423 01:09:28.399 --> 01:09:32.520 Robert Boyle widely considered the father of modern chemistry because he. 1424 01:09:32.520 --> 01:09:33.880 Was the first one who came up with the idea 1425 01:09:33.920 --> 01:09:36.039 to boil this first to get rid of all the 1426 01:09:36.079 --> 01:09:37.279 fucked up impurities. 1427 01:09:37.359 --> 01:09:38.199 He called mummy. 1428 01:09:38.239 --> 01:09:39.439 I survived one day longer. 1429 01:09:39.600 --> 01:09:42.960 He called mummy quote, one of the most useful medicines. 1430 01:09:43.439 --> 01:09:45.680 Yeah, but that sounds like a four to five doctors agree, 1431 01:09:45.720 --> 01:09:46.399 like he was paid. 1432 01:09:46.600 --> 01:09:49.760 Yeah, say that this is how this tells you how 1433 01:09:49.920 --> 01:09:52.760 bad medicine was into sixteen hundreds, that they were like 1434 01:09:52.920 --> 01:09:55.399 powdered mummy is one of the best options we've got, 1435 01:09:55.439 --> 01:09:58.319 and you know it wasn't doing jack shit for anybody. 1436 01:09:58.479 --> 01:10:04.520 Two things. One, the overwhelming disrespect of Europeans to the 1437 01:10:04.560 --> 01:10:06.800 culture of the place they took it from. 1438 01:10:06.880 --> 01:10:09.399 Just crazy, but I'm. 1439 01:10:09.239 --> 01:10:13.000 Sure it was originally called like savage skincare or something, 1440 01:10:13.560 --> 01:10:17.840 or like Barbarian beauty. But the second thing it tells 1441 01:10:17.880 --> 01:10:22.000 me is the most shocking episode we've done is maybe 1442 01:10:22.039 --> 01:10:24.000 waking up during surgery where we find out kind of 1443 01:10:24.000 --> 01:10:28.239 how recent, genuinely good medicine and techniques are. And I 1444 01:10:28.560 --> 01:10:30.760 find that's the first thing I thought of when you 1445 01:10:30.840 --> 01:10:33.800 told me that they pelted a man who made an incision, 1446 01:10:34.359 --> 01:10:37.199 Like just to tell you what hurdles we have to 1447 01:10:37.239 --> 01:10:40.760 get to modern surgery that we have to overcome. And 1448 01:10:41.600 --> 01:10:44.279 so yeah, between what I will refer to from here 1449 01:10:44.319 --> 01:10:47.279 on out as get out of here science. So between 1450 01:10:47.279 --> 01:10:48.880 get out of here science. 1451 01:10:48.800 --> 01:10:50.880 Is that like an I fucking love science, but it's 1452 01:10:50.960 --> 01:10:51.720 the bad version. 1453 01:10:51.760 --> 01:10:54.560 It's you beat it, you scram science. So we'll deal 1454 01:10:54.600 --> 01:10:57.000 with you. We're putting this down the kicking science down 1455 01:10:57.039 --> 01:11:00.319 the road. So between get out of here science and 1456 01:11:01.039 --> 01:11:07.680 the seemingly universal sirens call of scammery, yep, Like, it's 1457 01:11:07.760 --> 01:11:09.680 amazing that we're living at a time period that we 1458 01:11:09.760 --> 01:11:11.840 got to see at least a few years of like 1459 01:11:12.279 --> 01:11:16.720 genuine benefits in both society and health. 1460 01:11:16.880 --> 01:11:19.039 Yeah, most other places than here at the moment. 1461 01:11:19.279 --> 01:11:21.680 But I'm saying, like, what a weird little pocket we 1462 01:11:21.720 --> 01:11:22.560 got to experience. 1463 01:11:22.720 --> 01:11:25.520 Well, that is a great segue into the next part 1464 01:11:25.560 --> 01:11:28.920 of this story of mummy medicine, because much like those 1465 01:11:29.039 --> 01:11:33.199 mummified animal corps as we talked about earlier, scammers quickly 1466 01:11:33.600 --> 01:11:36.399 took over the medicinal mummy trade. 1467 01:11:37.039 --> 01:11:37.319 Quote. 1468 01:11:37.439 --> 01:11:41.800 Entrepreneurs got creative. Some merchants discovered it was easier to 1469 01:11:41.920 --> 01:11:44.920 manufacture fresh mummies than dig up old ones. 1470 01:11:45.319 --> 01:11:47.039 But you mean, really make mummies out of people? 1471 01:11:47.399 --> 01:11:51.439 Well, they purchased corpses of executed criminals, plague victims and 1472 01:11:51.640 --> 01:11:54.560 enslaved people, dried them out, coded them and resident and 1473 01:11:54.640 --> 01:11:56.800 passed them off as ancient Egyptian royalty. 1474 01:11:56.840 --> 01:11:58.279 Feel like purchase was in air quotes. 1475 01:11:58.439 --> 01:12:01.600 In fifteen sixty four, our French physician Guy de la 1476 01:12:01.680 --> 01:12:06.279 Fontaigne witnessed the process firsthand in Alexandria, watching merchants prepare 1477 01:12:06.359 --> 01:12:10.079 fresh corpses for export. One dealer confessed they could produce 1478 01:12:10.199 --> 01:12:13.399 forty ancient mummies in a single batch. 1479 01:12:13.680 --> 01:12:17.800 Ah. Also we saw them preparing bodies for export. It 1480 01:12:17.880 --> 01:12:20.199 was like, no, this was going to the cemetery, Like 1481 01:12:20.600 --> 01:12:22.520 what this wasn't shipping abroad? 1482 01:12:22.720 --> 01:12:24.920 Oh no, Now they're going all over the world. But 1483 01:12:25.000 --> 01:12:28.680 even crazier, I think, is the practice of medicinal mummies 1484 01:12:28.760 --> 01:12:33.159 lasted until at least nineteen oh eight, because we have 1485 01:12:33.319 --> 01:12:37.560 a commercial listing for medicinal mummy in the Murk catalog 1486 01:12:37.680 --> 01:12:40.479 of nineteen oh eight. So Merk Pharmaceuticals Murk is what 1487 01:12:40.760 --> 01:12:44.199 the Mirk still exists. They're still a pharmaceutical company in America. 1488 01:12:44.239 --> 01:12:46.119 In America, well, they're probably owned. 1489 01:12:45.880 --> 01:12:48.000 By like yeah, but I'm saying they were an American 1490 01:12:48.000 --> 01:12:48.800 company though at. 1491 01:12:48.680 --> 01:12:51.319 The time I believe Merk was American. Okay, they were 1492 01:12:51.359 --> 01:12:54.199 a big pharmacy. They're an early pharmaceutical company. And in 1493 01:12:54.199 --> 01:12:57.079 their nineteen oh eight catalog they were still selling medicinal 1494 01:12:57.159 --> 01:13:00.880 mummy under the heading quote genuine Egyptian as long as 1495 01:13:00.920 --> 01:13:05.199 the supply lasts seventeen marks fifty per kilogram. What the 1496 01:13:05.239 --> 01:13:07.640 fuck's a mark? Oh maybe a Dutch mark, so maybe 1497 01:13:07.680 --> 01:13:08.359 a Dutch rump. 1498 01:13:08.520 --> 01:13:10.560 And yeah, there's no way we were because America is 1499 01:13:10.600 --> 01:13:11.399 eight days old. 1500 01:13:11.800 --> 01:13:14.880 Sure, it's not like they didn't have doctors in Germany 1501 01:13:15.000 --> 01:13:19.119 or or not bring up German doctors for any reason 1502 01:13:19.119 --> 01:13:23.319 on this, or Danish doctors or whatever. Like there was science, 1503 01:13:23.399 --> 01:13:26.520 there was knowledge in nineteen oh eight. Oh oh, nineteen 1504 01:13:26.520 --> 01:13:28.760 oh eight for sure, that's when this went automobiles. This 1505 01:13:28.840 --> 01:13:32.439 was nineteen oh eight. They were still selling genuine, genuine, 1506 01:13:32.720 --> 01:13:36.079 giant Giant air quotes around genuine. Yeah, great way to 1507 01:13:36.079 --> 01:13:38.279 dispose of a body. Though, if you were murdering people 1508 01:13:38.319 --> 01:13:41.000 back then, grind them up in a mummy pace, and I. 1509 01:13:40.960 --> 01:13:42.920 Will say there was probably a lot more money to 1510 01:13:42.960 --> 01:13:45.680 be made having corpses on hand than not having corpses. 1511 01:13:45.840 --> 01:13:48.039 I'd also love to know once you once you were 1512 01:13:48.079 --> 01:13:52.279 purchasing powdered mummy, do you require or would you want 1513 01:13:52.319 --> 01:13:56.560 to require some sort of proof of lineage that ties 1514 01:13:56.600 --> 01:13:59.239 it to a mummy, because if you're just buying powdered mummy, 1515 01:13:59.319 --> 01:13:59.720 I think. 1516 01:13:59.600 --> 01:14:02.199 It would require it. But I think even lobbying at 1517 01:14:02.239 --> 01:14:04.159 the time was like we don't have to. 1518 01:14:04.159 --> 01:14:06.680 Actually, it would be cute though. If the pharmacists wrapped 1519 01:14:06.680 --> 01:14:08.640 the bottle in a little bit of the mummy bandage. 1520 01:14:09.039 --> 01:14:11.159 They probably did it and it wasn't real, all these 1521 01:14:11.199 --> 01:14:11.920 little gimmicks. 1522 01:14:12.239 --> 01:14:13.960 Anyway, I could see this shit in the. 1523 01:14:13.880 --> 01:14:16.520 Manosphere right now, like Andrew Tap being like, you need 1524 01:14:16.720 --> 01:14:18.479 to take mummy supplements that. 1525 01:14:18.600 --> 01:14:19.600 We are a week away. 1526 01:14:19.920 --> 01:14:23.680 Yeah, they jaw strong and take these mummy supplements. 1527 01:14:23.720 --> 01:14:26.520 By the Victorian era, mummies had been ground up and 1528 01:14:26.640 --> 01:14:30.199 used in everything from medicine to fertilizer to even paint. 1529 01:14:30.439 --> 01:14:32.920 But the Victorian's relationships isn't. 1530 01:14:32.760 --> 01:14:35.720 This like how Crisco was made. It was like industrial 1531 01:14:35.840 --> 01:14:38.079 runoff and now it's like the best way to make 1532 01:14:38.159 --> 01:14:38.560 up eye. 1533 01:14:38.760 --> 01:14:40.720 Yeah, I'm half joking. I think a lot of that 1534 01:14:40.880 --> 01:14:44.159 is true. The Victorian relationship with mummies went way beyond 1535 01:14:44.199 --> 01:14:48.840 paint and medicine. They also hosted mummy unwrapping parties. We 1536 01:14:48.880 --> 01:14:50.880 talked about this in Cursions. We mentioned this in Cursing. 1537 01:14:50.960 --> 01:14:53.560 Is going a lot deeper into it, hate to hear it. 1538 01:14:53.840 --> 01:14:57.920 According to the website Burial and Beyond quote, it's generally. 1539 01:14:57.880 --> 01:15:01.640 The bed in that they feel they fucked up. 1540 01:15:01.880 --> 01:15:05.159 It's generally believed that the first unwrapping public event was 1541 01:15:05.159 --> 01:15:09.279 conducted by archaeologist, a term we're using very loosely here 1542 01:15:09.560 --> 01:15:15.039 Giovanni Bolzoni, who in eighteen twenty one unwrapped a cadaver 1543 01:15:15.159 --> 01:15:19.239 in Piccadilly Circus to a reported audience of thousands. Now, 1544 01:15:19.359 --> 01:15:23.279 Giovanni was known as the Great Belzonia. He was a 1545 01:15:23.319 --> 01:15:27.000 prominent Italian explorer with a taste for showmanship. 1546 01:15:26.399 --> 01:15:29.800 And he was a prominent Italian magician. Like nobody has that. 1547 01:15:29.800 --> 01:15:31.439 Aided, this guy was like the rock of. 1548 01:15:31.399 --> 01:15:33.720 His also aided magicians have aids. 1549 01:15:34.199 --> 01:15:36.520 This guy's a magician. Let even his sentence. This guy 1550 01:15:36.600 --> 01:15:38.560 was the rock of his time. He was an explorer, 1551 01:15:38.640 --> 01:15:41.520 the taste for showmanship, and aided by his former career 1552 01:15:41.560 --> 01:15:45.039 as a circus strongman. So he started at entertainment and 1553 01:15:45.079 --> 01:15:48.680 became an archaeologist. He kicked off the era of mummy 1554 01:15:48.720 --> 01:15:52.520 desecration with his own discoveries in Egypt, most notably his 1555 01:15:52.600 --> 01:15:57.560 unearthing of the mummy at Simephis, and another source tells 1556 01:15:57.680 --> 01:16:01.359 us that while he did in fact make many dramatic discoveries, 1557 01:16:01.960 --> 01:16:05.159 Belzoni was also infamous for using a battering ram to 1558 01:16:05.239 --> 01:16:08.840 open tombs and for carving his name in the temple 1559 01:16:08.880 --> 01:16:12.960 of Abu simbel We. Here's the thing, like, this guy 1560 01:16:13.159 --> 01:16:16.039 was like a he he was not American, but you'd 1561 01:16:16.079 --> 01:16:17.720 be forgiven for thinking that he was. 1562 01:16:18.319 --> 01:16:22.960 Yeah, jeez, Louise though, because there is an element of Nope, 1563 01:16:23.000 --> 01:16:25.439 there's no element of anything. This guy's just kind of shitty. 1564 01:16:25.760 --> 01:16:30.600 In any case, his event was marketed towards medical professionals, 1565 01:16:30.960 --> 01:16:35.520 but Belzoni came out wrapped in bandages, which he knew 1566 01:16:35.560 --> 01:16:38.560 exactly what he was doing. Yeah, it's like how in 1567 01:16:38.560 --> 01:16:41.279 the early days of exploitation films, they would, you know, 1568 01:16:41.520 --> 01:16:43.479 you see a sex movie, but it would be like 1569 01:16:43.560 --> 01:16:46.199 the Dangers of Childbirth or whatever. In the first twenty 1570 01:16:46.239 --> 01:16:49.159 minutes would be basically pornography and then but it was 1571 01:16:49.319 --> 01:16:52.000 educational so it was safe. Yeah. I think that's what 1572 01:16:52.119 --> 01:16:53.479 this guy was doing here. 1573 01:16:53.720 --> 01:16:58.560 It's crazy to come out in ben you know, that's 1574 01:16:58.920 --> 01:17:00.880 the circus in him. He couldn't get rid of his 1575 01:17:00.920 --> 01:17:04.199 assistant for this show is again like magicians, Yeah, like 1576 01:17:04.239 --> 01:17:04.760 a magician. 1577 01:17:04.800 --> 01:17:09.000 But his assistant here was a prominent doctor named Thomas Pettigrew. 1578 01:17:08.640 --> 01:17:10.640 Who apologized at every event for. 1579 01:17:12.119 --> 01:17:16.279 In this Oh no. He was famous for vac having 1580 01:17:16.359 --> 01:17:20.159 vaccinated Queen Victoria, I guess in the early days of vaccinations, 1581 01:17:20.439 --> 01:17:22.479 and was friends with Charles Dickens, who he was a 1582 01:17:22.479 --> 01:17:27.600 real man about town. And he also quickly stole Belzoni's 1583 01:17:27.600 --> 01:17:31.159 whole act and became London's premier mummy showman. 1584 01:17:31.239 --> 01:17:32.960 I feel like that also happens to magicians. 1585 01:17:33.079 --> 01:17:37.279 This earned him the name of Mummy Pedigrew. His January 1586 01:17:37.319 --> 01:17:40.800 eighteen thirty four unwrapping at the Royal College of Surgeons 1587 01:17:40.840 --> 01:17:43.000 sold out, with people turned away at the door, and 1588 01:17:43.119 --> 01:17:47.039 other mummy unwrapping events attracting up to three thousand spectators. 1589 01:17:47.079 --> 01:17:49.680 I mean it is a cool event. Once the trend 1590 01:17:49.680 --> 01:17:52.239 caught on, because it is a cool event, the rich 1591 01:17:52.520 --> 01:17:56.079 jumped right on board, and according to Haunted Palace blog quote, 1592 01:17:56.239 --> 01:17:58.880 many wealthy individuals were said to have obtained their own 1593 01:17:58.960 --> 01:18:02.079 mummies and invited their friends over to soirees to dine, 1594 01:18:02.239 --> 01:18:06.079 drink and dissect. As these upper class parties often involved 1595 01:18:06.119 --> 01:18:08.960 copious amounts of alcohol, they could end up quite raucous. 1596 01:18:09.000 --> 01:18:11.079 Who's that guy who had the ummy fucking Martine early 1597 01:18:11.199 --> 01:18:13.840 or whatever. He'd be doing well now someone who had 1598 01:18:13.840 --> 01:18:14.920 his own like cocktail, you. 1599 01:18:14.880 --> 01:18:18.119 Said the King Charles had a skull drops. Yeah, yeah, 1600 01:18:18.119 --> 01:18:21.720 I'm sure that made a callback. At these parties, often artifacts, rappings, 1601 01:18:21.760 --> 01:18:24.560 and even body parts would get tossed around amongst the 1602 01:18:24.600 --> 01:18:28.079 curious guests. Such parties were almost always purely for the 1603 01:18:28.199 --> 01:18:30.800 entertainment of the upper class, and little regard was paid 1604 01:18:30.840 --> 01:18:35.039 either to respect for the dead or preserving archaeological artifacts. 1605 01:18:35.520 --> 01:18:39.680 Which makes me think mummy curses are bullshit, because if 1606 01:18:39.720 --> 01:18:41.960 anyone was gonna get cursed, it would be these people 1607 01:18:42.000 --> 01:18:45.600 who are tearing mummies limb from limb at a drunken 1608 01:18:45.640 --> 01:18:47.079 party in some castle. 1609 01:18:48.279 --> 01:18:51.039 Not one person has been indicted, and all the new 1610 01:18:51.079 --> 01:18:52.800 stuff coming out in the news these days. You make 1611 01:18:52.800 --> 01:18:54.600 a certain amount of money. It sounds like you can 1612 01:18:54.640 --> 01:18:57.960 do with anybody part at any age you want. I 1613 01:18:58.039 --> 01:19:01.239 don't know if mummy curses are real. We do introduce 1614 01:19:01.399 --> 01:19:04.119 many characters who deserve to be cursed so far, Yes, 1615 01:19:04.560 --> 01:19:05.880 I think is what the point you're making. 1616 01:19:06.199 --> 01:19:08.479 But it never seemed to have come bit anybody in 1617 01:19:08.520 --> 01:19:08.760 the air. 1618 01:19:08.800 --> 01:19:11.600 It doesn't seem like anybody's getting in trouble for anything here. 1619 01:19:11.640 --> 01:19:14.159 Although Victorian era, even if you were rich, the chances 1620 01:19:14.199 --> 01:19:16.439 that you were going to eventually meet some sort of 1621 01:19:16.479 --> 01:19:20.119 a protracted and painful death or pretty good. So you know, 1622 01:19:20.199 --> 01:19:23.239 whether you were being hung in the town square by 1623 01:19:23.479 --> 01:19:28.079 angry peasants or being carved inside out, or just getting 1624 01:19:28.079 --> 01:19:31.560 some horrible disease, sure you were probably even even the wealthy, 1625 01:19:31.760 --> 01:19:32.720 there was a level. 1626 01:19:32.479 --> 01:19:35.439 Of like, let's throw the bodies around now before dysentery. 1627 01:19:35.640 --> 01:19:39.439 Yeah, yeah, whatever. So this also continued until nineteen oh eight. 1628 01:19:39.520 --> 01:19:41.600 And what happened in nineteen oh eight, I don't know. 1629 01:19:41.680 --> 01:19:43.960 We hadn't started World War One yet, but that was 1630 01:19:44.159 --> 01:19:46.840 nineteen oh I was there wasn't the Great Mummy Curse cleansing. 1631 01:19:47.239 --> 01:19:50.239 Maybe maybe the Mummy curse was world War One. It 1632 01:19:50.319 --> 01:19:53.199 just took a while to shit build up across Europe, 1633 01:19:53.239 --> 01:19:55.640 all the all the angry mummies. You know, we got 1634 01:19:55.640 --> 01:19:59.239 to check and see what was What was Ferdinand up 1635 01:19:59.279 --> 01:20:02.279 to right before he got plugged? Was he dancing with 1636 01:20:02.640 --> 01:20:05.159 the leg of an ancient prince? 1637 01:20:05.359 --> 01:20:06.960 He might very well have been. He had the money. 1638 01:20:06.960 --> 01:20:08.479 They come from a family, I think so. 1639 01:20:08.600 --> 01:20:12.479 Yeah. The The last public unwrapping was performed in nineteen 1640 01:20:12.520 --> 01:20:16.000 oh eight by Let's Hear It for the first woman 1641 01:20:16.239 --> 01:20:20.319 appointed as a lecturer of archaeology in the UK. Margaret Murray. 1642 01:20:20.520 --> 01:20:21.560 Welcome Peggy. 1643 01:20:21.840 --> 01:20:22.800 She was the. 1644 01:20:22.840 --> 01:20:25.800 Last known public unwrapper and maybe she put an end 1645 01:20:25.840 --> 01:20:27.760 to it. Maybe she said we've had enough. 1646 01:20:27.760 --> 01:20:29.199 Or people were like, women are doing it. 1647 01:20:29.239 --> 01:20:30.800 That not as cool anymore. 1648 01:20:31.119 --> 01:20:40.520 Anyway, I want to end this episode with the story 1649 01:20:40.600 --> 01:20:43.520 of a modern mummy, a story that is equal parts 1650 01:20:43.560 --> 01:20:46.800 funny and sad and fills me a little bit of 1651 01:20:46.920 --> 01:20:49.800 mummy on we there's something eerie and beautiful about that. 1652 01:20:49.880 --> 01:20:52.279 It's not that mummy that they made the voicebox work 1653 01:20:52.359 --> 01:20:53.479 the dumbest thing in the world. 1654 01:20:53.640 --> 01:20:58.000 No, okay, this is the story of Elmer McCurdy, the 1655 01:20:58.119 --> 01:21:02.199 wandering Mummy. In life, Elmer McCurdy was a scoundrel. 1656 01:21:02.439 --> 01:21:04.239 Yeah, Chloe's chasing bugs bunny. 1657 01:21:04.319 --> 01:21:06.720 According to history dot Com, he was quote born in 1658 01:21:06.760 --> 01:21:10.560 eighteen eighty in Washington, Maine, so confusion from a young 1659 01:21:10.600 --> 01:21:14.000 age right there and raised by his aunt and uncle. 1660 01:21:14.199 --> 01:21:18.119 He had twenty eight years where he could have seen 1661 01:21:18.119 --> 01:21:19.479 a mummy unwrapping. 1662 01:21:19.520 --> 01:21:21.720 And that's true. Yeah, but he never did because he 1663 01:21:21.800 --> 01:21:23.920 was poor, and he learned by the time he was 1664 01:21:23.920 --> 01:21:27.319 a teenager, he learned that his aunt and uncle weren't 1665 01:21:27.319 --> 01:21:29.960 his actual parents. Oh no, so he thought that his 1666 01:21:30.000 --> 01:21:32.119 aunt and uncle were his real parents until he was 1667 01:21:32.159 --> 01:21:33.119 a teenager. 1668 01:21:32.720 --> 01:21:34.159 Which he realized he was been inducted. 1669 01:21:34.319 --> 01:21:37.840 History dot com notes possibly contributed to a life of discontent. 1670 01:21:38.640 --> 01:21:42.359 For a time, McCurdy lived with his grandfather, apprenticed as 1671 01:21:42.359 --> 01:21:45.840 a plumber, and did manage to reconnect with his mother life. 1672 01:21:45.920 --> 01:21:48.119 But in eighteen ninety eight he lost his job in 1673 01:21:48.159 --> 01:21:50.800 an economic crash, and in nineteen hundred his mother and 1674 01:21:50.960 --> 01:21:55.119 grandfather both passed away, so McCurdy headed west, drifting through 1675 01:21:55.199 --> 01:21:56.359 Kansas and Missouri. 1676 01:21:56.560 --> 01:21:58.760 I thought this story was going to be like they 1677 01:21:58.800 --> 01:22:01.520 passed away, and he found himself of the inheritance of 1678 01:22:01.680 --> 01:22:03.359 two fresh bodies and. 1679 01:22:03.399 --> 01:22:07.560 Went mummy mode. Yeah, dude, No, he became a drifter 1680 01:22:07.720 --> 01:22:10.439 and in nineteen oh seven he joined the US Army, 1681 01:22:10.840 --> 01:22:14.920 learning explosive skills crucial to his later crimes. Dude, he 1682 01:22:15.239 --> 01:22:17.960 not tipped my hand about where this is going. But yeah, 1683 01:22:17.960 --> 01:22:19.279 but he really could have fucked up. 1684 01:22:19.319 --> 01:22:21.800 He could have joined the Army in the mummification department 1685 01:22:22.000 --> 01:22:25.119 and would only have one year before those skills became unnecessary. 1686 01:22:25.199 --> 01:22:29.279 True. He was honorably discharged in nineteen ten and quickly 1687 01:22:29.399 --> 01:22:33.920 returned to a life of dishonor only weeks. Only weeks 1688 01:22:33.960 --> 01:22:37.560 after leaving, the military, authorities rested McCurdy and another soldier 1689 01:22:37.600 --> 01:22:43.000 for possession of burglary paraphernalia, including nitro glycerine burglary. 1690 01:22:43.039 --> 01:22:45.079 That's like making TNT paraphnalia. 1691 01:22:45.199 --> 01:22:48.600 McCurdy at his compatriot convinced the jury they were just 1692 01:22:49.039 --> 01:22:53.079 building a foot powered machine gun. No additional details on that. 1693 01:22:54.399 --> 01:22:57.880 McCurdy then traveled to Oklahoma, where he joined a gang 1694 01:22:57.880 --> 01:23:04.279 of small time outlaws known as Yeggs. Yegs which sounds 1695 01:23:04.319 --> 01:23:06.720 like a real slur, but it's just sort of a 1696 01:23:06.840 --> 01:23:11.520 term for these lay about gangsters sort of okay. The 1697 01:23:11.560 --> 01:23:15.039 Pinkerton Detective Agency published a pamphlet in nineteen oh four 1698 01:23:15.199 --> 01:23:19.159 about a group known as Yeggs. Says Michael Williams, site 1699 01:23:19.239 --> 01:23:23.640 director of the Oklahoma Territorial Museum in Carnegie Library, they 1700 01:23:23.640 --> 01:23:26.600 were an element that grew out of the hobo community. Sure, 1701 01:23:26.760 --> 01:23:30.720 where most hobos traveled to find work, Yeggs traveled to 1702 01:23:30.720 --> 01:23:34.520 commit crimes. There was like a Hobo think there was 1703 01:23:34.560 --> 01:23:37.960 some crossover between the hobo community and the yeg community. 1704 01:23:38.039 --> 01:23:40.640 And if I've seen any Hobo language, it's pretty close 1705 01:23:40.680 --> 01:23:41.439 to hieroglyphics. 1706 01:23:41.479 --> 01:23:44.560 Yes, so we've come full circle. On October fourth, nineteen eleven, 1707 01:23:44.640 --> 01:23:48.279 McCurdy and his yeggs robbed the wrong train. They made 1708 01:23:48.279 --> 01:23:50.479 off with only forty six dollars and a jug of 1709 01:23:50.479 --> 01:23:54.760 whiskey instead of the four hundred thousand dollars day four 1710 01:23:54.880 --> 01:23:57.800 hundred thousand dollars they thought they were going to rob 1711 01:23:57.840 --> 01:23:58.399 off this train. 1712 01:23:58.439 --> 01:24:00.000 How many bindls did they bring to carry? 1713 01:24:00.439 --> 01:24:02.479 Maybe that's how they got caught. They left the bendles 1714 01:24:02.560 --> 01:24:03.039 on the train. 1715 01:24:03.159 --> 01:24:05.960 But listening at home, who aren't comedy writers, bendles is 1716 01:24:05.960 --> 01:24:08.319 the stick with the handkerchief attached to it that. 1717 01:24:08.279 --> 01:24:12.119 You carry things in Robbing a train was not taken lightly, 1718 01:24:12.319 --> 01:24:14.840 and a reward was issued from a Curdy two thousand 1719 01:24:14.840 --> 01:24:17.800 dollars dead or alive, and in the early hours of 1720 01:24:17.840 --> 01:24:20.760 October seventh, nineteen eleven. Just a few days later, law 1721 01:24:20.800 --> 01:24:24.600 enforcement surrounded a barn near Bartlesville, Oklahoma, where McCurdy had 1722 01:24:24.640 --> 01:24:28.079 taken shelter. He refused to surrender and opened fire on 1723 01:24:28.119 --> 01:24:30.720 the officers. Not a great time in American history to 1724 01:24:30.760 --> 01:24:33.239 be opening fire on it's ninety kind of law. 1725 01:24:33.239 --> 01:24:35.079 If it's never a good time in American history to 1726 01:24:35.159 --> 01:24:37.479 do that. But this is a yeggs last stand dude. 1727 01:24:37.560 --> 01:24:40.159 Quote, he took a shot at me, first Officer Bob 1728 01:24:40.199 --> 01:24:42.279 Fenton told the Blackwell Weekly Sun. 1729 01:24:42.439 --> 01:24:44.720 Not quoted as him turning to all the other cops 1730 01:24:44.800 --> 01:24:48.039 going right, right, guys. 1731 01:24:48.640 --> 01:24:52.520 Then he took a shot at Officer Stringer Fenton, who's 1732 01:24:52.560 --> 01:24:56.199 probably nodding yeah, yeah, yeah. And after that he took 1733 01:24:56.239 --> 01:24:59.439 three shots at Officer Richard Wallace before we opened up. 1734 01:24:59.720 --> 01:25:03.039 The on fight lasted more than an hour. Guns are 1735 01:25:03.039 --> 01:25:04.960 not accurate, but when the shooting stopped would have been 1736 01:25:05.000 --> 01:25:07.920 a lot faster if he had a foot powered MAI gun. 1737 01:25:07.960 --> 01:25:09.560 What the fuck happened to that? Yeah? 1738 01:25:09.560 --> 01:25:10.359 I couldn't get it together. 1739 01:25:10.439 --> 01:25:12.840 I hope they at least filed a patent that could 1740 01:25:12.880 --> 01:25:14.960 have been a real like he could have gone legit. 1741 01:25:14.760 --> 01:25:18.159 He could have gone shilling no money for turn into 1742 01:25:18.239 --> 01:25:19.000 no investors. 1743 01:25:19.079 --> 01:25:21.520 They had no investors. I've never seen this, I don't think, 1744 01:25:21.520 --> 01:25:24.960 but I imagine him basically like sitting in a bike seat, 1745 01:25:25.039 --> 01:25:28.720 you know, with his legs up and like like that 1746 01:25:28.800 --> 01:25:30.600 must have been what they were building. I don't know 1747 01:25:30.640 --> 01:25:33.199 if those ever existed or if that's just in my imagination. 1748 01:25:33.359 --> 01:25:35.319 I don't know. I mean, you just did some sort 1749 01:25:35.359 --> 01:25:38.000 of like egg beatter boat things with your feet. So 1750 01:25:38.039 --> 01:25:38.479 I don't know. 1751 01:25:38.640 --> 01:25:40.560 Yeah, but you know, like shirt like pull like like 1752 01:25:40.640 --> 01:25:43.079 a gatling gun that you power with your feet. Yes, 1753 01:25:43.439 --> 01:25:45.279 that's a great idea and at all what I thought 1754 01:25:45.279 --> 01:25:45.560 it was. 1755 01:25:45.600 --> 01:25:48.079 I thought it was some sort of like a pedal, 1756 01:25:48.359 --> 01:25:51.960 like a sitting like. I didn't even think it was 1757 01:25:52.000 --> 01:25:54.239 powered like with your leg I thought it was like 1758 01:25:54.520 --> 01:25:57.279 how they opened a trap and Ghostbusters. He just expresses 1759 01:25:57.359 --> 01:26:00.239 it once, but yeah, you were thinking about the mechanic. 1760 01:26:00.239 --> 01:26:03.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, when the shooting stopped, these guys 1761 01:26:03.560 --> 01:26:07.039 found mccurty dead in the hayloft. And it's here in 1762 01:26:07.119 --> 01:26:10.479 this remote hayloft in the middle of nowhere of Oklahoma, 1763 01:26:10.520 --> 01:26:14.439 that the light leaves Elma mccurty's eyes and his story 1764 01:26:14.720 --> 01:26:18.479 really begins. His body was taken to the Johnson Funeral 1765 01:26:18.479 --> 01:26:21.399 Home in pa Huska, Oklahoma, where it was embalmed and 1766 01:26:21.439 --> 01:26:24.680 preserved with a heavy dose of arsenic. 1767 01:26:24.960 --> 01:26:28.439 Do you think it's hard to embalm a body if 1768 01:26:28.439 --> 01:26:29.640 it's filled with bullet holes? 1769 01:26:29.880 --> 01:26:31.560 Like you have to patch all that so shit doesn't 1770 01:26:31.600 --> 01:26:35.199 just pour out. I think actually they did patch. Yes, 1771 01:26:35.279 --> 01:26:38.720 I think they patched these bullet holes. Okay, with his mom, 1772 01:26:38.880 --> 01:26:41.840 dad and his actual father long gone, and his aunt 1773 01:26:41.840 --> 01:26:45.439 and uncle, I guess none too enthusiastic about picking up 1774 01:26:45.479 --> 01:26:50.279 their body of this damn yegg Yeah. Elmer's corpse, mummified 1775 01:26:50.279 --> 01:26:54.199 with chemicals, sat in the mortuary unclaimed for six months. 1776 01:26:54.239 --> 01:26:55.880 So this is an accidental mummification. 1777 01:26:56.199 --> 01:27:01.000 Well, he was mummified to be buried. His body was 1778 01:27:01.079 --> 01:27:03.479 preserved because they didn't know what else to do with it. 1779 01:27:03.520 --> 01:27:05.079 And I guess they weren't just gonna throw it out 1780 01:27:05.279 --> 01:27:06.319 and no one came to claim. 1781 01:27:06.359 --> 01:27:08.000 Times of Change could have sold it to a rich, 1782 01:27:08.359 --> 01:27:08.920 rich party. 1783 01:27:09.199 --> 01:27:12.880 Locals took notice of Elmer's body sitting in the mortuary, 1784 01:27:12.960 --> 01:27:16.239 and he became an attraction worth paying for. Wait, why 1785 01:27:16.279 --> 01:27:19.239 did locals see it at all? I think, is it 1786 01:27:19.279 --> 01:27:21.359 in the window? I think they put him out front. Yeah, 1787 01:27:21.359 --> 01:27:22.800 I think at some point they put him out front. 1788 01:27:22.800 --> 01:27:25.239 And then we know quote the undertaker tressed McCurdy and 1789 01:27:25.279 --> 01:27:28.800 street clothes, gave him a rifle and charged visitors five 1790 01:27:28.880 --> 01:27:32.319 cents to see the embalmed bandit collecting the coins through 1791 01:27:32.359 --> 01:27:34.359 the parted lips of the lifeless alba. 1792 01:27:35.000 --> 01:27:41.239 That is somehow more disrespectful than using the door busting 1793 01:27:41.279 --> 01:27:44.119 thing on. No, it's not actually I'm grave, No, but 1794 01:27:44.159 --> 01:27:47.880 it's closed. But remember that detail the coin slot. In 1795 01:27:48.000 --> 01:27:51.439 nineteen sixteen, two men posing it Jimmy fin Dick showed 1796 01:27:51.720 --> 01:27:53.479 yeah to use the coin slot. 1797 01:27:54.279 --> 01:27:58.000 In nineteen sixteen, two men posing as mccurty's brothers convinced 1798 01:27:58.039 --> 01:28:00.520 the funeral home to release the body to them. They 1799 01:28:00.520 --> 01:28:03.800 were not mccurty's brothers. They were actually James and Charles Patterson, 1800 01:28:03.960 --> 01:28:07.880 carnival promoters, who proceeded to add McCurdy to the Patterson 1801 01:28:07.960 --> 01:28:11.279 Traveling Slide show as quote the outlaw who would never 1802 01:28:11.319 --> 01:28:14.800 be captured alive, and he became a grim centerpiece in 1803 01:28:14.840 --> 01:28:16.680 a lineup of human curiosities. 1804 01:28:16.800 --> 01:28:19.439 Do we need to outlaws circuses? 1805 01:28:20.520 --> 01:28:20.600 Like? 1806 01:28:20.680 --> 01:28:23.439 It's like, I am sorry, but there are too many 1807 01:28:23.560 --> 01:28:25.960 main characters in these come from that background. 1808 01:28:26.079 --> 01:28:30.039 It gets crazier. McCurdy's body then changed hands repeatedly. For 1809 01:28:30.159 --> 01:28:34.760 more than half a century. The McCurdy mummy bounced from 1810 01:28:35.079 --> 01:28:39.119 crime exhibits to drug awareness campaigns, to haunted houses and 1811 01:28:39.239 --> 01:28:42.039 low budget films. In nineteen twenty two, the body had 1812 01:28:42.079 --> 01:28:45.079 passed to Louis Sunny, a former cop turned showman who 1813 01:28:45.199 --> 01:28:48.760 ran a traveling museum of crime featuring wax outlaws. 1814 01:28:49.000 --> 01:28:50.039 Mccurty, this real man. 1815 01:28:50.119 --> 01:28:52.479 Yeah, McCurdy was the only exhibit that was real, and 1816 01:28:52.560 --> 01:28:55.560 Sonny tored him up and down the West coast for decades. 1817 01:28:56.000 --> 01:28:58.640 In nineteen twenty eight, mccurty traveled with the side show 1818 01:28:58.720 --> 01:29:02.079 for the Trans American FOS Race, a cross country race 1819 01:29:02.159 --> 01:29:04.479 that I guess he brought all these bodies with him. 1820 01:29:05.079 --> 01:29:10.439 When it passed through Oklahoma, Sonny's son, Sonny's son o Louise, 1821 01:29:10.479 --> 01:29:14.800 Sonny's son Edward, refused to display the body for fear 1822 01:29:14.880 --> 01:29:18.079 someone might recognize it because again, this is where it's from. Yeah, 1823 01:29:18.119 --> 01:29:21.920 and this is only twenty twenty five years after he 1824 01:29:22.000 --> 01:29:23.880 was killed. Not even this is nineteen twenty eight, and 1825 01:29:23.920 --> 01:29:25.399 he was killed in nineteen eleven. 1826 01:29:25.520 --> 01:29:27.399 Yeah, and the last time you were in Oklahoma, you 1827 01:29:27.399 --> 01:29:28.840 were like where his brothers were gonna give him a 1828 01:29:28.840 --> 01:29:32.880 proper burial. Well that not harness his ghost soul. 1829 01:29:33.119 --> 01:29:36.800 That was like three owners back. But Edward was smart 1830 01:29:36.800 --> 01:29:38.520 and was like, we can't just put this guy out 1831 01:29:38.560 --> 01:29:40.479 on the side of the road. Someone might know him. 1832 01:29:40.560 --> 01:29:44.680 So Bob Fenton, the deputy who had helped kill McCurdy, 1833 01:29:44.840 --> 01:29:49.680 seventeen years earlier requested a private viewing. He looked at 1834 01:29:49.680 --> 01:29:54.000 the body, said nothing, and walked away. Weird, weird. Maybe 1835 01:29:54.000 --> 01:29:56.239 he had some unfinished business. I don't know, but he 1836 01:29:56.560 --> 01:29:58.840 somehow knew the body was in town and wanted some 1837 01:29:58.960 --> 01:29:59.720 alone time with. 1838 01:29:59.680 --> 01:30:01.800 I don't why, but this story, in particular is the 1839 01:30:01.840 --> 01:30:04.319 first time I felt that the soul is trapped in 1840 01:30:04.359 --> 01:30:07.720 this mummy and that his unfinished business might be like 1841 01:30:07.800 --> 01:30:08.640 a business deal. 1842 01:30:08.680 --> 01:30:12.800 At this point. In nineteen thirty three, exploitation filmmaker Dwayne 1843 01:30:12.960 --> 01:30:16.239 Esper borrowed the corpse and stood it in theater lobbies 1844 01:30:16.319 --> 01:30:19.640 during screenings of his drug scare film Narcotic with an 1845 01:30:19.680 --> 01:30:23.800 exclamation point, rebranding McCurdy as a dead dope fiend who'd 1846 01:30:23.880 --> 01:30:28.920 killed himself or gotten himself killed during a drug store robbery. Wow, 1847 01:30:29.000 --> 01:30:31.319 we used to be a film industry man. He used 1848 01:30:31.319 --> 01:30:34.960 to be able to really make some money. After Louis 1849 01:30:35.000 --> 01:30:38.159 Sunny died in nineteen forty nine, his other son Dan 1850 01:30:38.359 --> 01:30:40.560 shoved the body into an a warehouse in la for 1851 01:30:40.680 --> 01:30:41.520 fifteen years. 1852 01:30:41.600 --> 01:30:42.720 Stop at what year was this? 1853 01:30:42.880 --> 01:30:46.159 Nineteen forty nine to nineteen sixty four, Elma mccurty's body 1854 01:30:46.239 --> 01:30:48.159 sat Raiders of the Lost Ark style. 1855 01:30:48.319 --> 01:30:50.399 I mean we won the war. People were getting free houses. 1856 01:30:50.439 --> 01:30:52.000 Maybe we don't need the gimmick anymore. 1857 01:30:52.159 --> 01:30:54.600 In nineteen sixty four, the body was lent to another 1858 01:30:54.720 --> 01:30:59.079 exploitation producer, Datacket. Back at War, David F. Friedman and 1859 01:30:59.319 --> 01:31:03.399 Curtius's McCurdy makes what is described as a blink and 1860 01:31:03.479 --> 01:31:06.680 you'll miss it appearance in the nineteen sixty seven film 1861 01:31:06.840 --> 01:31:11.800 She Freak, filmed at the Kern County Fair in Bakersfield, California. Wow. 1862 01:31:11.880 --> 01:31:15.239 In nineteen sixty eight, Dan sold mccurty and a bunch 1863 01:31:15.239 --> 01:31:18.640 of wax figures for ten thousand dollars to Spooney sing, 1864 01:31:19.199 --> 01:31:23.439 founder of the Hollywood Wax Museum. OH. Spooney deemed McCurdy 1865 01:31:23.520 --> 01:31:27.920 too gruesome to display, so two Canadian operators it's only 1866 01:31:27.960 --> 01:31:28.840 been lightly. 1867 01:31:28.600 --> 01:31:30.479 Used for forty years or whatever. 1868 01:31:30.600 --> 01:31:33.960 Two Canadian operators then took the body of mccurty to 1869 01:31:34.000 --> 01:31:37.239 display it, as shown near Mount Rushmore, where a windstorm 1870 01:31:37.279 --> 01:31:40.800 blew off the tips of his ears, fingers, and toes. Oh. 1871 01:31:40.840 --> 01:31:43.880 By nineteen seventy one, the damaged corpse ended up at 1872 01:31:43.920 --> 01:31:47.199 the Pike Amusement Zone in Long Beach, mounted to a 1873 01:31:47.239 --> 01:31:50.760 coffin with a mechanical rig that made him twitch as 1874 01:31:50.840 --> 01:31:54.640 the cars passed by in the dark. Wait r Long Beach, 1875 01:31:55.000 --> 01:31:58.680 Our Long Beach. When one operator drilled a mounting hole 1876 01:31:58.800 --> 01:32:03.039 in McCurdy's foot quote, some yellow, gooey stuff came out 1877 01:32:03.119 --> 01:32:03.840 on the drill. 1878 01:32:04.279 --> 01:32:05.319 I feel bad for this. 1879 01:32:05.479 --> 01:32:08.279 He didn't this guy didn't know that this was a 1880 01:32:08.359 --> 01:32:11.479 real corpse. He was just told put this, you know, yeah, 1881 01:32:11.520 --> 01:32:15.119 you thought it was body. Yeah. Yeah. Finally, around nineteen 1882 01:32:15.159 --> 01:32:19.640 seventy two, the operators of the amusement zone defaulted on 1883 01:32:19.680 --> 01:32:23.960 their lease. Sounds like circus people. Yeah. McCurdy was confiscated, 1884 01:32:24.119 --> 01:32:27.319 spent a year in an electricians closet, got painted with 1885 01:32:27.479 --> 01:32:30.680 day glow fluorescent orange paint, and was hung from a 1886 01:32:30.760 --> 01:32:34.319 noose inside the Laugh in the Dark Funhouse, where he 1887 01:32:34.880 --> 01:32:37.479 dangled by his neck for four years. 1888 01:32:37.720 --> 01:32:39.479 I am losing my mind with this story. 1889 01:32:39.800 --> 01:32:43.600 By this point, no living person on earth knew that 1890 01:32:43.720 --> 01:32:47.079 the glowing figure was retten from this noose was real. 1891 01:32:47.520 --> 01:32:49.920 Everyone just assumed it's a Paine. Not only real, it's 1892 01:32:49.960 --> 01:32:50.399 in hell. 1893 01:32:51.399 --> 01:32:53.319 Had the soul of this man who I don't know 1894 01:32:53.319 --> 01:32:55.199 if he was a bad enough criminal honesty. 1895 01:32:57.239 --> 01:33:04.399 December eighth, nineteen seventy six, sixty five years after McCurdy 1896 01:33:04.479 --> 01:33:07.800 is gunned down in Oklahoma, a crew from Universal Studios 1897 01:33:08.239 --> 01:33:12.960 filming the episode Carnival of Spies episode nineteen, season four 1898 01:33:13.079 --> 01:33:17.199 of The Six Million Dollar Man is filming inside the 1899 01:33:17.319 --> 01:33:20.439 laugh in the Dark ride where this body is hanging. 1900 01:33:21.039 --> 01:33:26.399 Crewmember Chris Haynes noticed the neon reddish orange figure swinging 1901 01:33:26.439 --> 01:33:29.279 from a noose in the background of a shot. Didn't 1902 01:33:29.279 --> 01:33:31.840 want to have a repeat of the Wizard of Oz 1903 01:33:32.359 --> 01:33:37.960 background hanging and tried to move it. When he grabbed 1904 01:33:37.960 --> 01:33:41.640 the arm, it snapped off in his hands, revealing human 1905 01:33:41.720 --> 01:33:45.800 bone and desiccated muscle tissue beneath the layers of wax 1906 01:33:45.920 --> 01:33:46.399 and paint. 1907 01:33:46.520 --> 01:33:47.159 Holy shit. 1908 01:33:47.439 --> 01:33:51.239 Homicide detectives werecalled and the body was removed on a stretch, 1909 01:33:52.159 --> 01:33:55.039 this one beneath the white sheet. Here's how they solved 1910 01:33:55.039 --> 01:33:55.560 it because of. 1911 01:33:55.479 --> 01:33:58.720 The bill of sales. It's moved hands. 1912 01:33:57.960 --> 01:34:01.880 Even better, and autopsy revealed his gunshot wounds, so they went, okay, 1913 01:34:01.960 --> 01:34:04.279 this guy got plugged. We know he was killed by guns. 1914 01:34:04.640 --> 01:34:08.600 When they opened his mouth, they found a corroded nineteen 1915 01:34:08.680 --> 01:34:11.000 twenty four penny Oh because he used to put the 1916 01:34:11.000 --> 01:34:15.760 money ticket stubs in his throat one reading Louis Sonny's 1917 01:34:15.880 --> 01:34:19.720 Museum of Crime five two four South Main Street, Los Angeles. 1918 01:34:19.760 --> 01:34:23.159 Holy shit. So they were able to track him back 1919 01:34:23.239 --> 01:34:25.880 to Louis Sonny and they said, who the fuck is 1920 01:34:25.920 --> 01:34:26.439 this guy? 1921 01:34:26.439 --> 01:34:28.920 Go, Coin's probably worth more now than that entire like 1922 01:34:29.199 --> 01:34:30.479 all of his sales combined. 1923 01:34:30.600 --> 01:34:34.359 And here is sort of the kind of sweet, touching 1924 01:34:34.479 --> 01:34:37.920 cherry on top of this whole thing. On April twenty second, 1925 01:34:38.000 --> 01:34:39.079 nineteen seventy years. 1926 01:34:39.239 --> 01:34:42.520 Time purchased him for eleven dollars and he is he's 1927 01:34:42.560 --> 01:34:43.439 in the studio. 1928 01:34:43.760 --> 01:34:46.239 He drops from the ceiling on the news. On April 1929 01:34:46.239 --> 01:34:49.359 twenty second, nineteen seventy seven, a horse drawn hearst brought 1930 01:34:49.399 --> 01:34:52.880 Elma McCurdy to the Boothill section of Summit View Cemetery 1931 01:34:52.920 --> 01:34:57.199 in Guthrie, Oklahoma, where he was buried alongside fellow bandit 1932 01:34:57.359 --> 01:35:01.399 Bill Doolin and his Wild Bunch gang. Three hundred people 1933 01:35:01.399 --> 01:35:05.159 attended the service, and to prevent any further exploitation, two 1934 01:35:05.159 --> 01:35:08.720 feet of concrete was allegedly poured over his casket. But 1935 01:35:08.840 --> 01:35:12.039 the thing that kind of gets me not the most 1936 01:35:12.039 --> 01:35:15.279 patriotic guy in the world, but on Veterans Day and 1937 01:35:15.359 --> 01:35:19.239 Memorial Day, Elmer mccurty gets a flag placed on his grave, 1938 01:35:19.560 --> 01:35:20.800 just like any other veteran. 1939 01:35:20.920 --> 01:35:22.319 Yeah he was a vet. Wow. 1940 01:35:22.359 --> 01:35:25.399 So that is that of the Horror Wars. Yeah, that 1941 01:35:25.600 --> 01:35:29.960 of the Skeleton Army, the Mummy Marines. Wow. 1942 01:35:30.319 --> 01:35:31.119 Wow wow Wow. 1943 01:35:31.199 --> 01:35:34.960 That story is unbelievable, And I apologize to anybody. I 1944 01:35:35.000 --> 01:35:38.520 think we briefly may have mentioned some part of this 1945 01:35:38.600 --> 01:35:41.600 story I could not find in our notes where you're 1946 01:35:41.640 --> 01:35:42.239 probably thinking of the. 1947 01:35:42.239 --> 01:35:44.560 Guy with the sunglasses, the monk with the sunglasses. 1948 01:35:44.600 --> 01:35:46.920 There may be, but there's somewhere I think we may 1949 01:35:46.960 --> 01:35:50.359 have mentioned Elman mccurty, but we certainly did not tell 1950 01:35:50.359 --> 01:35:53.840 his whole story. I didn't remember most of this, but 1951 01:35:54.000 --> 01:35:56.760 the million Dollar Man thing, I was like, wait a second, 1952 01:35:56.800 --> 01:35:57.640 did we do this? 1953 01:35:57.640 --> 01:35:59.960 This story? The thing I love about this story is 1954 01:36:00.039 --> 01:36:04.359 it's unbelievable and interesting and also doesn't make for a 1955 01:36:04.399 --> 01:36:07.239 movie or anything. So it's not even like it's just 1956 01:36:07.520 --> 01:36:09.239 interesting to learn about it. 1957 01:36:09.239 --> 01:36:11.079 It is. But here's the thing. I kind of think 1958 01:36:11.159 --> 01:36:15.800 Terrence Malick or like somebody could do remember what's his 1959 01:36:15.920 --> 01:36:18.439 name made that movie a ghost story. Yeah, but we 1960 01:36:18.439 --> 01:36:20.680 don't need that, I mean that movie. 1961 01:36:20.800 --> 01:36:21.560 But yeah, there you go. 1962 01:36:21.760 --> 01:36:23.760 This is sort of this is sort of the Troma 1963 01:36:23.880 --> 01:36:28.119 version of a ghost story. I shitting, he's like leaking, 1964 01:36:28.359 --> 01:36:29.800 He's hanging to me. 1965 01:36:29.960 --> 01:36:32.399 It's in the same way that I feel like I 1966 01:36:32.439 --> 01:36:33.600 can't watch RoboCop. 1967 01:36:33.640 --> 01:36:35.319 I just feel too bad for RoboCop. 1968 01:36:35.359 --> 01:36:38.199 That is life. Yeah, and it's kind of against his will. 1969 01:36:38.560 --> 01:36:42.680 And also after we're shooting. Yeah, I just feel so 1970 01:36:43.319 --> 01:36:46.319 like inherently bad for this. At least he was buried 1971 01:36:46.359 --> 01:36:49.119 in the Boothill grave. Isn't that what you usually put criminals? 1972 01:36:49.199 --> 01:36:51.760 Well, the Boothill Cemetery, I think is a famous cemetery 1973 01:36:51.840 --> 01:36:54.479 because of the amount of gangsters, Yeah, buried there. I 1974 01:36:54.479 --> 01:36:56.920 forget or I guess, well, no, you might be right. 1975 01:36:56.960 --> 01:36:59.479 He's buried in the Boothill section of some of you. 1976 01:36:59.600 --> 01:37:01.399 So I guess maybe that's the yeah. 1977 01:37:01.239 --> 01:37:03.079 Because I only ever, I only know it from that 1978 01:37:03.239 --> 01:37:07.479 fairly fictitious Billy Joel song about Billy the Kid. Mmm, 1979 01:37:08.079 --> 01:37:09.800 because there's no I don't knows. I think where his 1980 01:37:10.159 --> 01:37:12.279 real name was where he's buried, but they has like 1981 01:37:12.319 --> 01:37:15.640 he mentions, like the Boothill grave that bears his name. Yeah, 1982 01:37:15.760 --> 01:37:19.039 And until this story, I've ever heard the term Boothill before. 1983 01:37:19.199 --> 01:37:22.079 Well, but forever if you're ever driving back through the 1984 01:37:22.079 --> 01:37:24.279 middle of the country, but you can maybe stop and visit. 1985 01:37:24.479 --> 01:37:27.000 Definitely Almer McCurdy, I definitely check him out. 1986 01:37:27.039 --> 01:37:28.960 I've gone through Oklahoma a bunch of times. 1987 01:37:29.000 --> 01:37:31.840 So that brings us to the fear tier. Ed. Where 1988 01:37:31.840 --> 01:37:33.800 would you place mummies on your fear tire. 1989 01:37:33.800 --> 01:37:38.720 Considerably lower than whatever Elmer had done? After like you 1990 01:37:38.720 --> 01:37:40.960 were saying, being Mumma fiederre being attacked by a mummy 1991 01:37:41.279 --> 01:37:43.479 just because we didn't get into many like mummy curse things. 1992 01:37:43.520 --> 01:37:45.960 I placed mummies at a one on my fear too. 1993 01:37:46.000 --> 01:37:46.439 It's a one. 1994 01:37:46.479 --> 01:37:48.319 I'm not afraid of them in the movies. I'm not 1995 01:37:48.399 --> 01:37:50.840 afraid of them in real life. I am terrified of 1996 01:37:51.079 --> 01:37:53.439 what's happened to Elmer got through hapening to. 1997 01:37:53.439 --> 01:37:57.000 Me exactly dude. Although interesting that he had a you know, 1998 01:37:57.039 --> 01:37:59.439 he lived on in many ways, Yeah, just the worst 1999 01:37:59.520 --> 01:38:01.640 possible to live on. Yeah, Yeah, that's a one. 2000 01:38:01.760 --> 01:38:05.800 If his car and Bob we're trapped hanging on by 2001 01:38:05.800 --> 01:38:08.560 a thread, they're hanging on by a thread. 2002 01:38:08.520 --> 01:38:10.800 I would say, yeah, I would say a one. To 2003 01:38:10.840 --> 01:38:12.399 go all the way back to what I said earlier 2004 01:38:12.359 --> 01:38:15.760 in this episode, which is and mummies. Mummies are an afterthought. 2005 01:38:15.800 --> 01:38:19.239 Mummies are a thing. It's also here, yeah, but tough 2006 01:38:19.319 --> 01:38:21.760 go of it. If anything, I'm like an eight on 2007 01:38:22.479 --> 01:38:24.920 not being left alone after I die. 2008 01:38:24.960 --> 01:38:26.319 It's like a high for me now. 2009 01:38:26.399 --> 01:38:28.960 Or it's like either giving some medicine or like turn 2010 01:38:29.000 --> 01:38:33.039 into a fucking day glow a park attraction, or having 2011 01:38:33.039 --> 01:38:37.159 the wealth you throw me around at parties. So like, yeah, yeah, 2012 01:38:37.199 --> 01:38:42.359 like being mummified and the torturous existence thereafter. I'm actually 2013 01:38:42.399 --> 01:38:45.600 very on board with mummy curses. I think it's warrnted. Yeah, 2014 01:38:45.600 --> 01:38:46.800 but yeah, it's a fucking one. 2015 01:38:46.880 --> 01:38:49.439 Yeah, it's a one for me too. So that's the 2016 01:38:49.560 --> 01:38:51.680 end of the episode. If you've made it this far, 2017 01:38:51.920 --> 01:38:54.359 you probably love the show, so don't forget to go 2018 01:38:54.399 --> 01:38:56.680 to patreon dot com slash scare it all the time. 2019 01:38:57.119 --> 01:39:01.039 Sign up for one of our three mummification levels. You'll 2020 01:39:01.079 --> 01:39:02.800 see them there on the site. We've got all kinds 2021 01:39:02.840 --> 01:39:06.600 of good bonuses. Unfortunately, neither of us are equipped to 2022 01:39:06.800 --> 01:39:09.840 put pine oil in your butt, but for pretty much 2023 01:39:09.840 --> 01:39:12.840 everything else is available on the on the Patreon, so 2024 01:39:13.159 --> 01:39:15.439 head over there, join us for some live shows, leave 2025 01:39:15.520 --> 01:39:18.359 us a five star review, like, subscribe, follow, Wherever you're 2026 01:39:18.399 --> 01:39:20.720 listening to this, don't miss an episode of Scared all 2027 01:39:20.720 --> 01:39:23.720 the Time and until next time. I'm Chris Calari and 2028 01:39:23.800 --> 01:39:25.960 I'm edva Cola. The show is Scared all the Time 2029 01:39:26.000 --> 01:39:28.319 and we will see us soon. Bye bye, bye bye. 2030 01:39:28.840 --> 01:39:31.119 Scared All the Time is co produced by Chris Calari 2031 01:39:31.159 --> 01:39:32.520 and Edvacola. 2032 01:39:31.960 --> 01:39:33.800 Written by Chris Calari. 2033 01:39:33.680 --> 01:39:34.920 Edited by Edvacola. 2034 01:39:35.079 --> 01:39:38.199 Additional support and keeper of sanity is Test Fightful. 2035 01:39:38.319 --> 01:39:41.680 Our theme song is the track Scared by Perpetual. 2036 01:39:41.199 --> 01:39:43.680 Stu and mister Disclaimer is. 2037 01:39:44.479 --> 01:39:46.479 And just a reminder, you can now support the podcast 2038 01:39:46.520 --> 01:39:48.920 on Patreon. 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