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Now let's dive into today's episode. I like to welcome
to the show, Sarah Kay Grace, Hey do Sarah?
Speaker 2: What's up? Alex Ferrari?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Were you doing? Sarah? Grace is so good.
Speaker 2: Thanks for having me here today.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming down to Next Level
Soil Studios. You. I wanted to bring you on because
I've had a lot of psychics on mediums on but
you are unique in the space because you used to
be a paramedic. Correct, And I'm fascined. We're going to
get deep into all of that. But at what point,
let's go back a bit more. At what point did
you start to sense that, hey, I got something that
not other people around me have access to, or you
started to feel different or see things or hear things,
or just understand these abilities that you had.
Speaker 2: I was a kid seven years old. I grew up
in South Dakota, tiny town, middle of nowhere, pre internet.
Speaker 1: Very open to psychic abilities, not.
Speaker 2: At all, very conservative, and my nuclear family of origin
was very volatile, and to put it mildly, so I
didn't necessarily have the safety and the normal structure of
a supportive family. And so I was a kid. I
was riding around on my little bananasy bike, you know,
And one day I went to bed, and the next
day I woke up and I could see. It began
with orc fields. So for me, it was like, you know,
you see a street lamp at nighttime, you see the
glow around. So I started to kind of see that
around people into colors all the time, all the time.
And it began with that, and then it went into
some energetics around like the earth. And then it went
into feeling other people's feelings and sensing what they were
thinking or what their intention was, or if they were lying.
And then I began to be able to see disease
in people's body. I'm a little kid man, middle of nowhere, right.
I couldn't google anything, like, I didn't have any sense
of understanding, and I couldn't just go to my family
and be like, hey, this is this okay. So I
was hoping it would go away, and I just kind
of waited it out for probably a few weeks or months,
and it only got worse, and so I was very spacey,
kind of disoriented. I had a lot of headaches, and
I finally asked a family friend and I got the
hellfire in brimstone, like, don't talk about this. We're going
to send you to a looney bin, you know. And
you hear that at age seven, and it just burned
in my little brain, like, something's wrong with me? You know?
Why am I like this? If other people are not
like this. I don't want to be like this. I
want to be normal. I just want to belong. Yeah,
I want to fit in. I want to be loved
just like anybody. I want to belong. And so that
moment at age seven, I can still remember to this
day because that was the moment that toxic shame formed
and I was in deeply internalizing that something was wrong
with me.
Speaker 1: Were you Christian? Catholic?
Speaker 2: Grew up a Lutheran, ye, but very devout area of
all kinds of Christianity.
Speaker 1: So you had all that baggage. Yeah, so you start
feeling guilty. Lutheran's I'm not familiar.
Speaker 2: They're not as hardcore with guilt as Catholics, but it's
still there's some thought in the genre.
Speaker 1: You're in the same genre. That's funny. That's funny. So
when you but when this started happening, did you did
you think am I Am I losing it? Like? Or
you were just so young because at seven you really
don't know. At seven, you're just like if something happened,
You're like, oh, I guess just that's the way the
world is, right, Like, well, I guess this is what
it is until they said the fire.
Speaker 2: Until they said that, and then I was like, oh no,
what's wrong with me? And then I really tried to
shut it down and I tried to ignore it. It's
just challenging when you're just picking up on what I
now understand is just sensory input, right, that's coming into
my nervous system because I'm wired differently, and there's nothing
wrong with that that I know now, But I didn't
know that as a kid, and so I really was scared.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I guess you had no support, no anywhere,
and at that time in history, especially in South Dakota,
I'm assuming there wasn't anywhere you can get in from it.
There was no internet, No, there was nobody talking about
this stuff. So how long did you kind of keep
this dormant in your life?
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, I was closeted a good twenty five years.
Oh wow yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: To your thirties.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well until I became got into ems. Ultimately got
into EMS and the energy started working through me and
I could not ignore it any.
Speaker 1: Wonder so before So, so, first of all, how did
you Because I've heard this from so many different intuitives
that when they stifle or close down their abilities, it
starts to wear on them. Oh yeah, it wears on
them mentally, it wears on them spiritually, emotionally, energetically. How
did you deal with all of because I'm assuming some
of this popped up. I mean you're in college and
you're probably hanging out with some guys or you know,
guys or gals and just like looking at them like
oh that or does not look good? Oh god, I
got Should I tell Nancy about this? Like you know
that kind of stuff? Did you did that kind of
creep into? I mean it had so creepy well.
Speaker 2: For me, So what happened was, initially in high school
I became an overachiever, and so through exercise and high performance,
I kind of stifled it a bit because I started
running ten miles a day, twenty miles at not twenty
ten to twelve, when I was a teenager in high
school still and I was rhythmically going into a meditative state.
At the time, I didn't understand what I was doing.
I just knew that if I didn't move my body,
I just felt so overwhelmed and I couldn't. It was
really hard for me to be in my body. Now,
combine that with the fact that I come from an
extremely violent situation like it was extreme violence, physical violence,
psychological violence daily and so in addition to being having
this high sense perception that I'm trying to physically survive
my day to day environment, so intensity became very normal
for me, and I took initially to over exercising and
high achieving. And it was when my mom died. She
was diagnosed with cancer and her diagnosis to death was
relatively quick, it was about six months. Wow. Now she
was a primary teacher for me, because she was a
primary abuser for me, and I only wanted her love.
She was very unwell, mentally unwell, and the physical and
psychological attacks really tormented me and set my nervous system
up for what I come to understand now, how full
circle everything is. I took to the nine one one
system well, because I was raised in that ad my
I got this man.
Speaker 1: I lived in this stress all the time. Right.
Speaker 2: So when she died, though, that's really when it was
like a lynch pin within me, because I was only seventeen.
She went had a seizure, so she had non hog cancer.
She had a seizure at my high school graduation party.
She went down next to my cake. I'll forever remember that.
That burns in your eye. She went down and that
was the last time I ever saw a content. And
so here I'm from seven to seventeen, dealing with daily
physical attacks, psychological attacks, and then having to do with this,
deal with this high sense perception, not feeling understood, feeling outcasts,
feeling like danger. If I say anything, I'm going to
get thrown into a looney bin. And so there was
no safety, There was no supporter structure for me whatsoever.
And so when she died, it was like a lynch
pin was pulled and I just I spiral, and for
me it was alcohol and then into drugs and promiscuity
and reckless behavior and smoking, and you know, I was
just on my own train of destruction because I was like,
not into this world, Like, what's the point of this
if I'm being bombarded by all this stimulus and I
don't have anybody. Nobody's here, you know, and so it. Yeah,
we went through all of that until I had my
overdose in my near death experience.
Speaker 1: So tell me about when you I mean, first of all,
I'm so sorry that you had to go through all
of that as a you know, it's part of your life.
Do you before we get into your near death experience,
Now that you have all these experiences and your own
abilities to connect with the other side, do you believe
that you choose the path that you're supposed to in
an incarnation. You have a soul blueprint. You choose the parents,
you choose the environment, you choose the religion, you choose
the community because they are all going to teach you,
and even you choose the lineage because that brings all
of that with it as well. Is that what you
believe that happened to you? Because man, you you picked
the heck of a one. I mean, you're like, I'll
take one of these, I'll take one of these. I'll
put one of those in the car like abuse, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
like ooh Lutheran, that's going to be a good one.
But yeah, addiction, go for it. Oh wait, yeah, we
haven't gone to the addiction aisle yet. Let's bring that
in here. Promiscuity. So it seemed like you put it
a lot early on in your life.
Speaker 2: I stacked the deck.
Speaker 1: You might. You were like, I'm just gonna do all
of it. I'm sure your spirit. Guys are like, are
you sure? Are you sure you want.
Speaker 2: To do it all it?
Speaker 1: Get spread this out over three or four lifetimes. No, no, no,
I want to go now right. It seems like that
would be the energy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1: So you do? So you do agree that I do?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do now. And I've personally found that it
doesn't It's not particularly helpful when somebody is going through
a very hard time to be like you chose this
all right?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, Sometimes people say that and I'm like, yeah,
it's not really helpful in the moment.
Speaker 2: Guys, right after we've integrated and got the lessons right.
Speaker 1: You've been shot, you know, you chose this, Like that's
not do that quite yet. Yeah, ten years from can
you remember that time you got shot. What happened after that?
And then you start connecting dots totally. So, like you said,
all of this stuff that you were going through helped you.
Speaker 2: Oh it chimed me prime primed.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't have been able to do that. No, not
at all if you lived in a beautiful nuclear support
you know, maybe in a new age in the world
where your mother would be like, oh, you have the gift. Oh,
let's help you. Yeah, grandma had the gift. Here's a book,
here's the thing. Let's go to this covent like whatever
is amazing? Right, And I've had both of those guests.
I've had intuitives who've had that, and I've had intuitives
who've You're more in the extreme side of stuff that
you had to deal with. So okay. So so then
you've gone down the deep rabbit hole. Yes, gone down.
You could go literally into the edge and then you die,
you od So what what happened?
Speaker 2: Well? So it for me, it was just the heightened
sense of perception, right, going into higher states of consciousness.
And I went into kind of this floating love bubble.
So I had risen up out of my body and expanded.
I felt very calm. For the very first time, I
felt very loved, and there was this nurturing energy that
I had just never experienced. And I was like, oh,
thank god, you know, I'm good. I'm done. I don't
want to go back there. And then I heard a
female voice, probably a guide. Some people ask who was it.
Could be a guide, could be my higher self, and
she was more articulate than I'm going to be. But
she's like, yeah, we know it's hard, You're not done.
And I was like, wait, I was floating. You know,
there's fractals, it's golden Mandala's everything is just wonderful. And
I hear this and I'm like, no, no, I'm good.
Thanks though, And essentially she showed me through visual we
understand it's been very hard. If you choose to go back,
you're actually gonna incorporate this and help a lot of
people who are like you. And when you're in a
heightened state of consciousness, everything makes sense simultaneously. So I'm
able to see here and feel everything at the same time,
and it's not overwhelming, right, and it just makes sense.
And I'm like, oh, yeah, of course cool. And I
obviously chose to back and when I slammed back into
my body. Reality sets in right, because you're back into duality,
you're back into the tangible reality. And I had to
crawl over to the phone and dial nine one one.
And that was my first ever experience with nine one one. Yeah. Wow, yeah,
And I'll tell you that the guy who came and
I was in like Fargo, North Dakota, right in the.
Speaker 1: Middle of nowhere.
Speaker 3: It's like, well, they run like two calls place, they
run like no calls, right, and this guy comes and
I'll just never forget him as long as I live,
because I'm just like this hot mess on the on
the floor, right.
Speaker 2: I was like nineteen, Oh my wow, and uh he
walks in. He's got his little stathoscope, buzz cut, his
little glasses. He was just a deck And I'll never
it was very pivotal for me though. It was very
important because this was my first experience with nine one
one paramedics anything. And I remember sitting on that gurney
just feeling like, dude, this is the worst moment of
my life.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor,
and now back to the show.
Speaker 2: And you're being a dick, you know, and I remembered thinking,
if I'm ever in a position like that, I'm going
to do it differently.
Speaker 1: And he was. He did exactly what he needed to do.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, he showed me. He shows that I made
that decision that, yeah, I'm going to do it different.
Speaker 1: So okay. So now it's interesting because you were you
were an intuitive prior to you in your death experience.
A lot of times people don't have anything or access
to any of that stuff. They die and they come
back with it. So you were already very familiar with
the spirit world, even in your limited capacity of accepting it.
But you it wasn't like, oh my god. You were like, oh,
thank god, I'm back here kind of vibe. Right when
you died, Oh no, I.
Speaker 2: Wanted to go home. Yeah. When I was out of body,
you were.
Speaker 1: You were like, oh thank god, yeah that place. So
when you came back, how did you deal with all
of that because you're still closet. According to you, I was.
Speaker 2: Still closeted and I was in you know, I had
gone up to college in that area, very lost, very disconnected,
no sense of safety, structure, support and financial health, nothing,
and so I had spiraled and hit that low point
and for me, I went in through the psyche valuation process,
and I remember my intuition was very strong about don't
you just you know, tell them you're depressed and having
a hard time, and then get out and go home
and then we'll start the work. And so I realized
that nobody was coming to save me. And man, was
I mad because coming through everything I came through, surviving
everything that I had, I just wanted somebody to come, like,
you know, help me out, do it for me. And
I had a chip on my shoulder and I was
I was angry. I was angry at the world. And
when I had that, realized, Alex, and nobody's coming to
save you. You have to do this for yourself. Because when
I'm in heightened consciousness, everything makes sense. So I'm thinking
it's going to be easy. But no, they don't give
you a trail map. You still have to do the work.
You still have to figure it out when you're back
here with normal sense perception, right, And so I just
remember like getting real with myself, and I went through
about two weeks and just stomping around being all mad,
like you know, I shouldn't have to do this, Like
I'm owed you know, and we see this so much
in our society, right, Like I'm outraged. Everybody's outraged about
everything now, it's like everything everything, And it's like, well,
that's your outrage.
Speaker 1: Your shirt offends me, your shirt is triggering me. I
have to tell you, I've been meaning to say it
since the beginning of the interview. Your shirt is triggering me.
But that's how people are outrage culture.
Speaker 2: It's insane, right, And so but what I didn't I
didn't realize was it. Well, it took me a couple
of weeks and I finally was like, you can be
mad about this all you want to, but the reality
is you still got to do it for yourself. You're
the person who's been engaging in these behaviors. You're the
person who was doing the drugs, who was doing all
the stuff, and you're the person who's gotten yourself to
where you are now, So what are you going to
do about it? And it was two part for me,
One with having to deal with addiction and like hardcore
drugs pretty much everything, and then smoking three packs a
day and drinking every clear straight like I'm a go
big or go home kind of girl, right, And so
I had to physically come off of all of that stuff.
But then simultaneously I'm navigating and dealing with this. I
hated the license perception, I hated the visuals. I hated
the knowing. I didn't want to be this way. And
so it was two part. I had been doing the
drugs because it was the only thing that finally kind
of jummed me enough. It took that edge off, right,
But it's not conducive or sustainable for health and life, right,
And so what I did is I just wrote down
kind of like a little program for myself and I
started I got to just move my body again because
back in high school I was a big runner, and
so I started exercising again. And then kicking alcohol was
pretty easy for me. Kicking like the heavy drugs that
was that was a thing, and I just like flushed
them and did several weeks of hardcore withdrawals by myself.
Speaker 1: Wow, he white knuckled it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I white knuckled it. It was ugly. It was
really ugly, but I knew because I had just I mean,
you can't. I if I was to continue that, I
would obviously die and stay dead, right, Like, there's nothing
else for me there, I turned over every rock, I
had all of the experiences, and you take it where
it is. But ultimately I cleaned myself up and I
was able to stabilize significantly. And then I left the
Midwest and I went to Florida.
Speaker 1: H Yeah, because there's there's no drugs there. I can
say this because I lived in Florida. But it just
never made movies about that or anything.
Speaker 2: Well Miami.
Speaker 1: Nothing about Miami in the seventies or eighties at all.
And that's about the time you.
Speaker 2: Nineties.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, we we were talking before and we're like, yeah,
You're like, yeah, I was in the I was in
Miami in the nineties. I'm like, I was in Miami
in the nineties. Like I was going to South Beach
and clubing. We probably were in the same club at
one point or another. I was on the table, I
was drinking water in the corner because I was always
the digited driver. So funny. So it's it's so far
so you you're still dealing with I mean, you're first
of all, impressive. Is all hell that you did what
you did and what you went through. And I've known
a lot of addicts. I've known a lot of people
who dealt with drugs and with alcohol, and I know
from watching closely how hard that is to do it
by yourself, and white knuckling, not in a facility, not
with any support, says volumes about your spirit, and says
volumes about you and what you're going through in this
life and why you were primed to do what you're doing.
In many ways, it's interesting because in many ways you
you chose to come into a world as a soul
in this incarnation and you and I'm sure you've had
help along the way, but you but a lot of
it seems like it's just you're doing it. You're like,
I got to make this happen for me because no
one's coming. No one's going to say I have no
I have no safety net.
Speaker 2: Correct.
Speaker 1: So you've basically burned you were when you were born.
They burned the boats at the shore. There's no one
come and help you. So that's a really interesting place
to be as a soul journey because there's only one way.
It's through.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, or you could heart eject, right, you can,
you can, you can do a heart out. What it
is I swear is I'm just I've kind of one
of the things I very much appreciate about growing up
in the Midwest, especially in the era that we did
get her done. Man like bots, you got to figure
it out. And the fact that nobody was there, And
it wasn't just that nobody was there, it was actually
unsafe to be around the people that were there. It
created this It's.
Speaker 1: Not that they don't support you, it's dangerous.
Speaker 2: This hyper awareness and this hypersoft sufficiency. And so ultimately
there's a stubbornness and I have this ability to just
kind of figure it out.
Speaker 1: Right, your gen X, So there's that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and today's my birthday, birthday here with you, but yeah,
I know that's that's our generation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just figure it out.
Speaker 2: You just figure it out, you know. I mean, do
you remember that commercial where they're like, at ten o'clock
at night.
Speaker 1: Do you know where your kids?
Speaker 2: You know where your kids are?
Speaker 1: Do you know where your kids? Actually showed it to
my kids really to prove it to them. They're like,
you know, they had to actually put on the news
every night it's ten o'clock. Do you know where your
kids are? And they're like, no way. So I went
on YouTube and I found it and they're like and saut.
Celebrities like Sydney Lauper and Madonna and all them. They
all come up to you know where your kids are,
and they're like you are you like kidding? And then
they saw stranger things and like is that real? Like
other than the monsters. Yes, yeah, it was very accurate
as far as that's how it was. Like you leave
the house and good luck. I don't even comprehend that
with my kids.
Speaker 2: Right, And there was no like electronic tracking, right, so
we're just out there feral.
Speaker 1: From dontel treated food. You'll find it somewhere, Drink it
from the hose. You'll find food somewhere. You never had
money because they broke.
Speaker 2: Everybody's bikes are at your front, your friends.
Speaker 1: That's the only way you knew. Those lights came on
and you weren't home. It was it's it seems cliche,
but it's the way it was. But our generation is
really interesting because we just just figure it out because
we were kind of trained, and you more so because
you really didn't have any support, so you had to
figure everything right. But that primed you for life. It
did in a way. It was not fun ways, not
at all.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't wish it on anybody, And ultimately it has
allowed me the fortitude to not only become who I
become energetically in my understanding of my gifts and my
ability to use my lips, but to be able to
work for fifteen years in the niem one systems, the
busiest systems of California, and take high energy perception into
the trenches the streets. And so I have this unique
ability to be ultra sensitive to energy yet still be
able to go to the depths of the human consciousness
and life experience repeatedly and not there's the fortitude needed
for that nervous system warning needed for that. And honestly,
all of my experience with addiction, with overdose, with promiscuity,
with all of these things that I did made me
a better paramedic because I would run calls on people
that were going through situations that I had personally been through.
Now you can feel it when people have been there,
you know, you can just feel it when people have
been there, oh yeah, And so there's that sense of like,
all right, we're all right, we're going to get through this.
And all of those years of becoming a running calls
as a paramedic primed me to become an even stronger healer, right,
because everything, it's like bricks and mortar, it builds on itself.
Speaker 1: So I have to ask you, I mean, when you're
I mean, I have very little experience with paramedics. I
had a friend of mine who was a paramedic, so
I kind of early on out of high school, so
I kind of understand a little bit. I've seen movies,
of course, and TV shows and stuff, and there's some
very accurate ones like the Pit and things like that,
which is freaking amazing. But it's a very high stress scenario.
You're literally walking into. I don't know what I could
I'm here to help, but I could be attacked, correct,
I could be I could be stabbed, that could be.
I mean, you hear these yeah and then yeah, and
then I've had relatives, a lot of doctor in the family,
so I understand that aspect of it, that stress and
that intensity energy, when you're kind of wide open energetically,
how do you deal Because that alone is a thing.
Just walking around the earth being open and seeing people's
auras and feeling people's energies and seeing things, that's a thing.
But then walking into the most intense human experience, you know,
of a stabbing, or of an overdose, or of a
violent scenario, and and you walk into it. How did
you back? Like, how the hell did you deal with
both things right and thrive? Because you did this for
fifteen right.
Speaker 2: Well, so when I had a great, great question when
I left Florida, I moved to Los Angeles, and I
was just kind of stumbling around.
Speaker 1: As most people don't move to Los Angeles. Does my
stuff included?
Speaker 2: And my intuition, I just remember I was like working
at a gym, and you know, I was still kind
of in this place. But my intuition every time an
ambulance would go by, was like this, do this. And
I was living in a Koreatown area before it got
you know, refurbished. Now it's really pretty now, oh yeah,
but it wasn't at the time. And I remember I
was laying on my mattress on the floor and I
heard like shots fired right outside. Little footsteps run right
past my Yeah, and welcome.
Speaker 4: Exact studio apartment, You're like, And so I peek out,
and I go to the fire escape and I look down,
and of course I see the body on the ground, right, Oh,
my and my intuition, and so everybody's coming LAPD and
you know, la fire and everybody, and my intuition's like this,
this is what.
Speaker 2: You should do.
Speaker 3: And I remember just going and weighing on my mattress
and I was like, I surrender, Okay, fine.
Speaker 2: You know, because I still was so lost in floundering.
But I'm like again, kind of had hit a bottom
period where we think that it's just going to be this,
you know, when you start to recover from addiction and
you take care of all the sense of rocket ship
and everything just ascends and all the sense is perfect
and it's not. And the grit is the willingness to
continue to go ride the waves of up and down right.
And so I was in the place and I finally surrendered,
and I was like, okay. So I went to the
UCLA e MT program and I went through that. I
had never been in a militaristic environment before, so that
was very abrupt for me. I'd been in the pin
up modeling world and like, you know, I was like
in that whole crazy world, like in Hollywood stuff, and
so going into the first responder militant type environment, it was, yeah,
a different thing. For me, I went, they assigned me.
My first assignment was down to south central Los Angeles
and so I went in the nineties in the Greater
Compton Inglewood. Yeah, I know, it was go Bigger, go home,
I remember right now. Remember at this time, I was
still very closeted, so I was still not willing to
talk out loud about my abilities. And so I finally
was in a socially accepted position. Okay, I'm going to
do something that can become an esteemed career. So all right,
So when I got on the ambulance, you have to
understand there's a tremendous amount of mechanics that go to
and I'm on one call. So there's logistics of location,
there's extracation, there's how many patients do we have? And
then you have all of us, and all of us
have a specific role that go on that. So for
the first six weeks or so, maybe six months, my energy,
the energetics and the intuition and kind of downshifted. And
I think that was my guidance being gracious to give
me time to give my bearings and understand like, oh,
the captain's the guy with the clipboard, the engineers the
dude standing out of the engine outside the house. You know,
everybody's got a role. It's a very alpha, very testosterone
charged environment. I thrive in that, like it's very intense.
You have to like it's sink or swim, and I
like that type of environment. And to me, running a
nine one one call, it became like putting a puzzle
piece back together really quickly and under a tremendous amount
of pressure, which my system, again is primed to do.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor,
and now back to the show.
Speaker 2: But about six months later, when I'm like, okay, groovy,
I understand how to run a call, where to take
a patient, all the things, then all of a sudden,
the high sense perception started coming back and I did
not one. I was so mad. I was like, just
leave me alone.
Speaker 1: I'm doing fine doing the thing.
Speaker 2: Man like a bit in finally kind of I'm always
around swat dude, So I'm not going to talk about
like I see dead people or I see colors or.
Speaker 1: It's basically marines. You're like walking around with marines. Like, hey,
so your aura, like when you were shooting that ak,
like your aura was a little dark. You know, you
don't want to do that.
Speaker 3: It's what it was a little little yeah, probably wouldn't
have been super well, especially in the early two thousands,
right God.
Speaker 2: And so my my primary challenge was not understanding what
would happen to me? Was this spontaneous expansion. And so
it's like take a take a dial and turn up
the gain and all of the sensory and put around
comes and all of a sudden, my energy really expands.
So I feel very large, and it's hard for me
to separate what's mine, what's other people's. Where it is
the end of the scene, you know, that kind of thing.
And so my primary challenge all the way from seven
until I got a real handle and understanding on what
this is, why I'm like this, how to navigate it
was this spontane I didn't have a sense of control,
I didn't have a sense of safety, so I didn't
understand it. I still feared it, and I still tried
to push it down. That said, when we like on
the first CPR call, my my experience would be and
this happened every single time. My tail for death is
tasting metal and very I have a tell for death,
so I became what's called a black cloud, and black
clouds in our industry are the people who get all
the really gnarly calls. I became the paramedic who was
always there for death and so pose no, no, no,
it's just some people get we gets randomly assigned.
Speaker 5: Calls would go, someone's going down, you get the tones right,
and I would just get this set and I would
taste metal.
Speaker 2: So what would happen on a call, though, is everything
would slow down like the matrix. So from the second
I opened the ambulance door, my feet hit the ground,
I had my little combat boots. Everything would just go
and it would go very very slow. So then you know,
and then I know, And so what would happen for
me is every single detail starts happening simultaneously. Like I
can see the drip of sweat coming down the firefighter's
you know, face is trying to extricate the body from
the car, and I could hear whoever. You know. It's
like all of the sensory information would expand from me
and I would have a knowing of what was coming.
And so what ended up happening is I was able
to be there in so many people's transitions so many
people during their last moments on earth, and to me
it became midwifing. It was such an incredible, incredible gift
and like honor, like a death. It's a death duel,
except the emergency style, right, And I had no idea
like what I was doing energetically, and so it was
just such an interesting space and feeling to be because
I was still wrestling with this one part of myself.
But the high sense perception would spontaneously expand every single
time I'd go on a call, and what I started
to pay attention to was that it was really helpful.
Never one time was it like remember I was told
I was ashamed, like don't talk about this, this is bad.
But whatever this knowing is or whatever these visions are
that are telling me what to do, it's giving me
guidance that's going to help the family calm down, it's
giving me guidance that's going to help the patient calm down.
And so I was able to be there in people's
worst moments, utilizing these high sense perception over and over
and over and over again. And that's how ultimately I
began to challenge like, wait a second, maybe maybe I
was sold a loadable when I was a kid. Maybe
there's nothing thing wrong with me. Maybe this is actually
good and I can actually really help people. And that
really turned the tide for me becoming empowered.
Speaker 1: So when you're you're in Los Angeles and LA does
have some woo will win it. Yep, there are some
bookshops you can go to, even in the early two thousands.
So you did not go and look for books or
look for a center or a spiritual community. Nothing. White
knuckle in it again.
Speaker 2: I guess that's just kind of how I roll.
Speaker 1: You know you do.
Speaker 2: But I'm very much about like figure it out, like
figure it out. I think that I wasn't on a
personal level. I was not yet ready to delve into
my own inner trauma and what it actually takes to
go through and somatically release the trauma that I had
been through. It's not an easy thing to do.
Speaker 1: Those calls help.
Speaker 2: You, yeah, because what ended up happening was I was
using my past right to be able to show up
for other people who were experiencing similar situations. And I
was like, ah, I got you, I get it, and
they can feel it, and they can feel it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can feel authenticity. Oh totally. You can feel.
You can feel it's like a vet meeting another vet.
I've seen that. I have friends of mine who are Vets,
and then I'll be hanging out and they'll be wearing
their like hat like war they were in Iraq war
or something like that. And then you just see some
random guy just walk up what you knew you in Yeah,
and they're like oh this and that. I'm like, oh this,
I did this too, And you could just there's that.
You could just tell that you've oh yeah, that's yeah,
they've been there.
Speaker 2: It see energetics a subconscious programming.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean you come from la and I know
you had a little experience in the film industry as well.
There's a version of that for us in the film industry.
Like you when you win a director or a DP
or a gaffer or anyone who's got shrapnel walks on
the set, you go, oh, yep, yep, yep, I can
you smell it. I always used to tell people. I'm like,
if you're a young director and you walk on a
set with a bunch of vets, they'll smell you within
the first two to three minutes of you even speaking.
Oh totally, and that will determine the rest of your
day and the production totally because if they feel that
you don't know what they do, they will roll all
over you. Oh yeah, all over you totally. And it's
something similar with what you're doing. So it's interesting. So
all right, so let me let's go into a call.
I want to I want to kind of dive into
a call here. So, and we've been talking about the
psychic abilities and more the intuitive and the energy that
you've been doing. Are you also a medium because I.
Speaker 2: Know you I have that capacity, it's not my primary.
My primary now is clairvoyance, clare sentience, so seeing, feeling, knowing,
and then my practice now is medical intuition and psychic surgery.
And so when it comes to mediumship, if you want
to dial somebody specific, it's like, nah, maybe you did
and miss.
Speaker 1: With that, But for me, I'm like, is uncle Bob
here energetic? Energetic Bob? All right? Because I know that
I've asked this a quest, like you could be a
psychic without being a meeting, but you can't be a
meeting without being a psychic, right right? Generally speaking? Okay,
because you're talking about seeing people in their transition. So
let's go into a call. Yeah, that someone passes, what
do you see? Okay? Is it different for everyone?
Speaker 2: Well? Yes, So now, first and foremost, please understand the
most important thing is there's nothing to fear. Death is
absolutely inevitable for all of us. It is just like
it's as natural as birth, and none of us know
when it's coming. So there's so many people that are
so scared to live. They bubble wrap themselves and they
do all these things right, and the fear really cheats
them out of their life experience a lot of times.
So what I'm here to tell you and remind you
is please live your life. We are born to die.
There's as many ways to die as there are to live.
There's literally nothing to fear. It's like taking off a
heavy coat. Sometimes it may hurt, but it's only briefly,
and you will always be greeted by something or someone. Okay,
So you're never going to die alone, even if you're
physically alone, because you will be greeted by a loved one,
by a celestial by master. Yeah, some sort of Jesus.
Speaker 1: She's the hardest working Jesus, hardest working man show business.
He shows up to all the nds you didn't see,
so you didn't I didn't see.
Speaker 2: You heard I heard a voice. There was a female voice. Yeah,
but I mean in plant medicine ceremonies.
Speaker 1: I've we'll get it today into we'll get into I'm
dying to see what you saw in a plant ceremony.
Speaker 2: I'm dying here that Okay. Now this is really interesting
because what I started to notice is that there's a
difference between a medical or an expected death like a
hospice and stage cancer slowly versus a trauma death, okay,
And so what happens to the soul and their experience
and transition was very different. And so it was interesting
because I saw so many deaths that I started to
notice commonalities. Mind you, at the time, Initially, by the
end of my career, I was open about what I
was doing. My coworkers were like, ah, it's just her,
you know, and we're.
Speaker 1: Cool with it.
Speaker 2: But at the beginning, I still was really scared and
didn't understand. But what I noticed, in say like a
medical depth, person's chilling in their bed or you know,
on their couch whatever, and for maybe a few days
or a few weeks, their oric field begins to expand
they start getting visited by loved ones. They may start
astral traveling. Now what is that. It's the veil thinning.
So what does the veil thinning mean? So here in
human paradigm, we've got gravity duality, the five senses, and
the egoic infrastructure perfectly designed to have our little independent
human experience. Right, So as the body begins to release,
the oric field expands and kind of thins on the boundaries.
So these safeguards that are normally in place just open
and let the information through. That's always there. All of
this energy is always around all of us. You got,
but it's the senses and you know, the egoic infrastructure
that it's designed this way to kind of allow us
to have the life experience. Okay, so they're going through days, weeks, whatever,
and their heart rate will finally kick out, and then
the respirations go through kind of agonal respirations, which is
like guppy breathing. And what I would notice is it
was really beautiful and sometimes it was fast, sometimes it
was slow, sometimes it was more vibrant, but it was
always a similar pattern. So the uh chakras would begin
to unfurl and it looks like ribbons, okay, usually beginning
at the root and it unfurls all the way up
through the crown. And so I began to understand way
to sect this is the light at the end of
the tunnel experience, because I'm watching the person die physically
and then I'm watching what their energy body is doing
in terms of releasing it. And so it would very
slowly unfurl like a ribbon, and the soul would typically
shoot out the crown of the head into the top
right corner of the room, normally where they'd be greeted
by to see slept ones or pets or some sort
of religious archetype or deity, and so it was really
did you see this?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I would see it over and over and over again.
And so they would come out and when they would
release the crown of the head, sometimes every once in
a while out the chest, but usually out the crown
of the head, It's like a water gun, right, And
sometimes like if people had a lot of spunk and
pizzazz and hardiness, there would still be color. And some
people were like, I'm over it, man, it was just
like a wisp. But regardless, they would reform and the
soul looks like the person embody just you can see
through it. And I would get to watch this little
family reunion right up in the corner. And you don't
share death experiences, that's a thing.
Speaker 1: That's the thing. So there's a near death experience and
they just share death experience. And I've had many people
on who had share in the medical field, hospice nurses.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what we do, man, And they.
Speaker 1: Sit there and they actually experience the near debt you're
viewing it. They actually are out of their body for
a second and they're kind of like seeing it from
the astrol. Yeah, will yeah through that problem and not
part of it. Sometimes every once in a while they'll
go to a certain point and they can't go past that.
That that that point in no return, and then they'll
come back in. But you're kind of doing a version
of shared death experience again again.
Speaker 2: Yeh, that makes sense. And then having to tend to
like the physical body. If if it was a protocol
that we would still need to run a CPR or
think there were still all the logistics and mechanics that
I would have to handle there. But if it was
like a do not resuscitate or an n stage hospice
and we're there to just declare death whatever. I would
still go through that experience and then understand and then
do a pronouncement of death.
Speaker 1: So did you So when these are happening and you're
watching Jesus or Uncle Bob show up. Further, I didn't
have an Uncle Bob. I just think it's funny. It's
and Jane and Uncle Bob. I don't know why, but
uncle Bob. People say, put it on a T shirt,
like I see Uncle Bob. I'm like, okay, okay. But
so when you're going through this and you're seeing this,
was there any moment that they acknowledge you?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, really?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah. That's the stories about that in my book.
And it's literally like, so it's telepathy, right, the ability
to communicate through thought form. And so because whether it's
it's just my wiring, it's any intuitive any medium whoever,
like the spirit for whatever reason, recognizes that we have
the capacity to see them, okay, And so there oftentimes
was a little bit of a brief like nod right,
Sometimes they do a little dance. Sometimes they would yeah,
And it was really beautiful to watch how happy these
people were to be freed, a lot of them from
their bodies. So again, very beautiful experience, nothing to fear.
And then we'll come over to the trauma death because
so it's very mechanically intact over here, very similar now
with the trauma death. The world we live, man, we
never know, right, And this is why I just might
the biggest takeaway you guys, please please please just go
live your lives. Just do it, say the thing, take
the trip, tell the person you love them, like, take
the chance, do it because we never know. Everybody thinks
they've got time. But every single morning, every single day,
I would run calls on somebody who just got killed
and they had no idea.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor,
and now back to the show that they were all agious.
Speaker 2: Oh man, they're coming. You know, you go through a
Starbucks drive through, I'm like, you pull out and you
just get t boned and that's it, like, or you're
just in a car accident, or you're shot or whatever like.
And so in a trauma death, what would happen would
be that say it was a vehicle accident and with extircations,
so the body's in the car a lot of logistics
for us to navigate that. And so I would see
the soul of the person standing next to or floating.
Speaker 1: Just above the car.
Speaker 2: They look like the body that's in the car. And
so I would very quickly. And this took years to
develop because at first I was like, ah, you know,
I didn't know, and I had a lot of things
to do. There's a lot of things to do on
a trauma call, for like tending to the body and
getting them to the hospital. And so over time though,
I would look and I would acknowledge the soul and
I developed kind of a protocol and it was like, Okay, look,
you're dead, you were just in a car accident. I'm
gonna play your body of the car. We're gonna start
a CPR, I'm gonna get you the hot teleopathically while
I'm over there cutting clothes off and start in id's
and doing all of this style. And so it's a
very like maximum, I mean everything, We're doing everything. I got,
you know, five six firefighters with me and police officers
with me. And so what would happen in a trauma
call would be that the person is confused because they're
like I was just walking down the sidewalk, man, like
what you know, they're looking at their body that's on
the on the ground in the curb, at the gutter,
and they don't get it because they're literally in your
body and then you're knocked out of your body.
Speaker 1: Is it? Is it kind of Patrick Swayze and Ghost
It is kind.
Speaker 3: Of Patrick you're Swayze And because that's exactly Yeah, it's exactly.
Speaker 1: They got a lot of things right in that movie.
But that sounds exactly like for the Trump for the
trauma ones, not the not the slower death ones, but
the trauma one.
Speaker 2: Right, the Trumps just like super confusing to people.
Speaker 1: Is that where ghosts come from.
Speaker 2: Well we'll talk about that in just a second. Okay, Okay,
let's get through the protocol. So essentially, what would end
up happening is nine times out of ten, if somebody
is killed and we have to start CPR on a trauma,
they more often they don't really come back. It's very
rare that we actually get pulses back and you know,
full cognitive function, et cetera. And so we would I'd
be communicating with the person as we're doing this, and
what would happen on a trauma call. It was interesting.
I thought this was really interesting. It was always a
celestial it was always an angel now and it started
like fireflies and it would be next to so imagine
the scene. Okay, we got a crumpled car, we got
a body of a car, we got a soul floating,
we got all of us coming up to like handle that,
and then it started like fireflies. And to me, an
angel isn't like this winged creature with like flowing. Yeah,
it's never helped.
Speaker 1: I love the way your voice just showed it. It's
a weird creature, spiritual. I love that.
Speaker 3: It was.
Speaker 2: It's a frequency, you guys. All of this is just frequency.
It's all just energy. Okay, there's a consciousness associated with celestials,
and it just is the most nurturing, calming, loving, amazing
energy ever. Usually eight to twelve feet tall. The big
ones are twelve feet, but usually around eight to twelve
feet cobalt blue, very very gentle, very compassionate. If there
was features which I often didn't see, it was very androgynous,
very beautiful. But they never say anything. They're just there
to like just coated the entire chaotics scene of crazy
with this really beautiful calm, and then the person who
had just died would be like, what is this right?
And I would watch them sometimes well yeah, sometimes yeah.
It was just very very gentle. There was kind of
this understanding. It's not like they came and you know, no,
there's no snatching. You're not going to be snatched by anything,
especially anything dark. We'll talk about that too, But it
was this gentle coming to understanding, gentle like, okay, wait
a second, I guess I just died. And then they
would turn and they would embrace and disappear. And so
at that time I knew that we would be running
a CPR, you know, to the hospital.
Speaker 1: So the body could still be alive while this is
going on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if they were still connected by like a spider web,
or they would just one little silver string of data
that's connecting the body to the soul. And once that snaps,
then you have to understand that the heart doesn't just stop.
It goes down and kicks out, and then the respirations
go down and kick out.
Speaker 1: Usually did you ever see anything like that and revive them, Yes,
but rarely. But in other words, you saw them standing
the angel came or.
Speaker 2: No, most of the time. If the angel came, they
were gone.
Speaker 1: That's that's like. So if they're just standing there, they're like,
and no one's coming.
Speaker 2: There may be a chance.
Speaker 1: There may there still may be a chance, but it
could go.
Speaker 2: It could go either way. But again with trauma calls,
you have to understand that the practicality and pragmatics of
and I will one call and understand CPR and getting
you know, actual return of sponging use circulation with cognitive
intact is very very rare on people that have been
in trauma docks.
Speaker 1: I mean I watched the pit. So yes, I understand
all everything you just said. I just said everything that
I could do this right now, let's go, we could
run a call. It's fine, It's fine completely. So it's
so you were you mentioned something about dark. I know
that's a lot of fear a lot of people have
of like so going back to ghost, Yeah, the dark
experience that came and pulled the bad gun down. Oh
my god, can you imagine. But that's the one place
that got wrong because I've never heard in all of
my experiences, in all of my conversations, that doesn't.
Speaker 2: It doesn't happen.
Speaker 1: It's not a thing. You're not going to. Dark angels
not coming. I've heard of hellish near death experiences which
are self induced subconsciousness and to you because of the
program you had, and then you always have a way
out and generally all of them Jesus shows up, an
angel shows up, someone shows as soon as they ask
for it. So I'm glad. I want you to clear
that fear for people because of people, because of all
the dogma and all the crap that were thrown on that.
You're like, if you did you know, if you did this,
the dark angels coming or death is coming for you.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: No, I've saw hundreds of deaths and what hundreds of
dead bodies and.
Speaker 1: Some probably not the most most kind souls. No, No,
some of them might have been. And then the darker
doing dark stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's part of the human paradigm, right
all there's parts for all of it. But I never
one time saw a dark entity come snatch a soul
away ever, right, Okay, So there's nothing to fear in that.
And my understanding with ghosts is sometimes we disembody. So
if there is a self induced death, sometimes we disembody
and there may be a little bit of curriculum left,
whether it's karma curriculum or some sort of balancing integration
type curriculum from higher assignment, and the person then can
spend the rest of their incarnation cycle as it kind
of in between as a ghost, if you will. Now
it's not just maybe if you had a little bit
more to learn or balancing some karma stuff. Some people
are just really dang attached, Like I like this house,
damn it, I'm not leaving.
Speaker 1: It's like okay, and the angel shows up and to
like get with that stuff next. You know how much
property values are. I'm in la Are you want you
this cow? Cost kind of thing? Right, right, I've heard this.
I've heard this that these are people who a lot
of times I've heard that ghosts are they don't know
they're dead, No, they just they literally are just embodied,
like I'm just living alive, Like why are these people
in my house? Get them out of here? You know,
like that other that old movie The Others with Nicol Kinman,
But they thought maybay the ghosts, but it was the
other way around. All that kind of stuff. So it's
that the way you understand as well for ghosts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oftentimes for sure. Also, my understanding is that there
are no fragments that are left behind. Ultimately everything integrates
into the hole. And so at some point there can
be you know, maybe a medium comes and like, yo,
you're dead, you know, or someone like yourself feel like
me and be like do this little triosh thing that
I do with them, and just tell them because again,
if they don't know, or if they're attached to a
person or a place or something, all of it's okay.
And ultimately everything ultimately integrates. Everything as far as I've
been able to perceive, ultimately integrates. And it's not like
two weeks from Tuesday or like you know, it's the time.
The linear structure doesn't exist in higher planes. And so
some people are, wow, how long does this last? Or
you know, it's we can't quantify it like that because
when you're in the heightened state, everything's happening simultaneously. So
you're in that state, and then ultimately the ghost will
have ghost spirit will have an invitation. Yo, you know,
here here's an opportunity to transition.
Speaker 1: And again I'll go back to ghost. That's exactly what
happened to Patrick, you know, Trick, Patrick, God bless his
heart was his soul. But when he passed in the movie,
a light came, an invitation came. He's like, but yep,
no I got and he had to deal with everything
he dealt with and when he was done dealing with it,
he left. That's it, he was, I did my work.
I need to solve my murder. Yeah, you know, setend me.
He's Demi Moore. I don't want to leave, right, you know,
you're in the nineties, they mean more in the nineties.
I don't want to go anywhere. Are you getting you know?
And she's like, that's Patrick Swayze in the nineties, like yeah,
you know, so you know, it's it's interesting. So that
with the ghost thing is is interesting because the anger,
like you hear angry goes, hauntings and things like that.
They could just be like get out of my head.
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. Isn't it funny how it's always the same
thing with light flickering and like throwing books and candles.
I'm like, can you guys come up with something else?
Speaker 3: A little?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think they have the ability to do
something else, you know, Like you know, but it's but
it's interesting. So it's not that they're evil. They're just evil.
A concept evils this concept here. Yeah, there is nothing
like that there from your understanding. On the other side,
there are from what I understand, there are lower energies,
oh for sure. Yeah, so it's not like evil spirits,
but there is lower energies have that that have chosen
to stay where they are. Everyone has the ability to
evolve at certain point. It's not hell or anything like that.
But even in the astral realm. Even Yogi's talk about that,
and they're littered in their books. They're like, yeah, if
you're in the astro realm and there's multiple levels and
all this kind of stuff, but there are lower levels, yeah,
of souls who just don't want to or they're addicted
to the negative energy or something like that.
Speaker 2: Is that what you want and everything serves a purpose.
So I have to understand a lot of times what
I see in the spiritual community is kind of a
light chasing or like the good vibes only only want
to feel good kind of thing, And it's a misunderstanding
oftentimes of the nature of duality. There's nothing to fear
in darkness, because if we didn't have darkness, we couldn't
have light. We have to have the equal opposite correct
and my personal lived experience is the more willing I've
been to go into and own my own darkness, my
own shadow, my own fear, my own behaviors and characteristics,
my own trauma, that gives me the access to the
equal opposite amount of light. So people are wanting this
like high vibe experience and trying to like come up
out of the bodies all of these different practices, which
it's amazing. There's a lot of great ways out there,
and don't there's nothing to fear in darkness. It's part
of the human paradigm. The more we understand it, the
more that we own our side of it, our part
in it, then what happens is we are given access
to both.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, so not recently, but it
seems like a lot more recently, there's been a lot
of spiritual teachers who have fallen some grace, some very
large ones. Yes, and doesn't negate their teachings. It doesn't
negate the good they've done in the world. But it
seems like what you just said trigger something in me
that said, well, it's because they didn't address the dark
in them. They didn't want to go to that, and
then they fell into ego, or they fell into power
structures or things like that, which are all traps, even
for the most spiritually class. I always say the spiritual
ego is one of the worst.
Speaker 2: There's more ego in the spiritual world than the fire Department,
and that's because those guys got calendars and parades. I've
been in the spiritual world around twenty years now, and
there's a lot of really beautiful, well meaning, well intentioned people,
and there's so many different beautiful practices and modalities. And
for me my experience, I was closeted. I didn't want
anything to do with this. When I finally surrendered, when
I finally was like, Okay, there's got to be a
reason I'm like this. I'm using it to help people
in their worst moments. This can't be bad. What do
I do for me? I began with meditation. I got
into meditation circles and communities, and I went into yoga.
Then I went into Kundalini. Then I went into mediumship,
and then I went I was reiki and all these
different energy healing practice.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I like to explore.
Speaker 2: I want to dabble right. For me, my most profound
healing and integration areas were going to be shamanism in
plant medicine ceremonies, in addition to the medical intuition training
in the psychosurgery training that I ultimately got. But all
of these are branches of similar trees or the same tree.
And what I kept seeing over and over again are
people giving power easily to like whatever this guru or
whoever this persicular culture, but give their power away. When
I advocate for you, guys, I believe this is my belief.
Always take what resonates and let go of what doesn't.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: I believe that we are all our own best teacher
and healer, and I believe that you are the guru
of your own life. And I advocate please retain your
personal power. Go explore, go experience, and take what resonates,
let go of what doesn't. Be mindful to maintain your
personal power, because there's a lot of people very large
egos in the spiritual world and they're they're wanting that,
and so it's all what it is. But I really
believe that the more willing you are to just kind
of stay within self and hold your own personal power.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor
and now back to the show.
Speaker 3: Then.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's that's the key, man, because it's like
you have your power, I have my power. Each individual
has their power. And what I love doing now more
than anything is helping people remember that, right. It's like
I don't want you power, man, like I don't need that.
I have my own, and I want you to remember
yours so that you can feel good and you can
be healthy and you can change your patterns and behaviors
and lives.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's basically what I mean. It's as simple
as what Christ said back in the day. The power
of the Kingdom of heavens within you. You everything I
can do, you can do it more. Yeah, I mean
he didn't want the pomp and circumstance that's around him
right now totally, which is what I That's what we
do all the time here Next Level Soul, which we
want people to understand the power is within them. Now.
You can learn from a thousand different modalities and we
do talch on all of We try to all of them. Yeah. Yeah,
but it's not about giving your powerway to any individual.
You might really love one modality, go for it, but
never let go of your own yeah power, because there's
always someone there to take it. No, oh, always someone
there to take it. So before we go into the
plant medicine, because I'm going your experiences in the plant
medicine during your time as a paramedic, what is one
of the craziest stories that you have that you're like, man,
that was a that was a wild ride.
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, there's so many different calls. But like I'll
just give you the example from the beginning of the book.
And I like sharing those real stories because I like
bringing people into that visceral experience with me. And this
one shattered me in some ways because you got to
understand I was just trying to do my job, still
didn't understand energies, didn't have anybody talk to about this stuff.
So imagine doing these things and seeing these things day
after day and not being process so you can't process.
I had young kids at the time, and it's like.
Speaker 1: I got about that you also raising children while you're
going through all of this insanity and going to the
playparks with other moms.
Speaker 2: We were talking about like nannies and petticures and I'm
over here, like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just saw someone fall off a built Like It's.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, totally not relatable as much. But so I
was working at the time with my favorite partner, Kevin
and who has since passed. Love him, and Kevin and
I were just chilling. We had been slammed all day
long and we were just having a dinner or whatever,
and we got the call for a car accident. It
was pretty late at night and we were almost off shifts,
so I was mad because I wanted to go home.
But we got down the street and I wasn't thinking
it was going to be a big thing, and I
just see this this hummer in the intersections, white, got
a big fancy grill.
Speaker 1: Whatever.
Speaker 2: It doesn't look like there's very much damage to it.
So I was like, ah, whatever, is it just going
to be a te bone or something. But then I
see this huge debris field, right, it's just all these parts.
And then way over here in the embankment is a
tiny Honda Civic just crumpled, and so I knew at
that minute, crap, that's my patient. And so firefighters going,
we got to extricate stabilized jaws of life all the things,
and so for me, I pop out of the ambulance,
my boots hit the ground. I go into full matrix style,
like right, and everything is coming at me. As I'm walking,
I can only hear my breath going in and out.
And this girl was only like seventeen oh and seventeen eighteen,
and she was trapped in pinned from femurs down under
the steering column which had been crumpled over her. But
the impact was so severe that her body went into
the passenger side and her head was in the back.
So this poses an extrication and an airway issue for
us because we have to reach our airway to keep
her because she was doing that guppy breathing thing. But
I remember, I'll never forget. She was just staring straight
at the ceiling in her eyes with this beautiful emerald
green and I just remember looking at her like she's
just a baby, right, And she was there, she was
she was on her phone, turned in the corner and
that was it, and they were stabilizing the car. And
I'm the smallest person on scene, and so I have
to reach in and I'm trying to like breathe for her.
We have tubes and things that we can stick in
people's smells and throats, and so we're trying to stabilize
and put a cervical collar and figure out the way
to extricate.
Speaker 1: And so I was.
Speaker 2: Breathing here for her, and I saw the spider web
and I saw her soul just floating right at the
top of the car here, and she was looking around
like what, you know, what's going on? And I was like, oh,
you know, you've been in a car accident. I'm here
to help you. I'm going to get your body out
of the car. And this is telepathic, of course, not
we're laying that, but I'm doing everything necessary to stabilize
her physical body. And then finally when they got the
jaws of life and they were able to hoist up
the steering column off that was holding her blood pressure intact. Okay,
I saw her blood pressure plummeted. And so it was
at the time right when they released the steering column.
And you have to understand, there's the smell of gasoline
mixed with blood. There's like sparks coming from the saw,
from the jaws of life. There's you got like eight
of us with extrication team and you know, fire department,
police and everybody that's there. And as soon as they
released so she had been floating here. I was talking
to her, talking to her telepathically. I'm breathing with her
through the window. And as soon as right when they
were pulling the steering column off, there's the fireflies. There's
the fireflies, which was the celestial frequency coming in. As
soon as they lifted, blood pressure plummets, heart rate kicks out.
She's done, and hear that little spider web snaps, and
so I watch her fully form. So standing now above
the car, looking at the angel, and so they I
watched the merge. I still got my arms story, I'm
all scraped up. I got a glass at my hair.
We have all kinds of stuff happening on scene. And
we had to pull her out. Once they opened up
the car door. We had to pull her out, put
her on the backboard, start the IDs in and be
and get her all the way to the hospital, which
they declared her dead just you know, five or ten
minutes later. So it's this like full capacity sensory experience.
And then you go back and then you got to
give the doctor, the trauma doctor and the nurses this
turnover report. Everything is extremely fast paced and extremely intense.
And there was two things that really hit me. One
was that the police came and said they wanted to
know if she made it. No, she didn't make it.
She was on the phone with her boyfriend. He was
two blocks away in a restaurant about to propose.
Speaker 1: Oh Jesus, oh my god.
Speaker 2: When her cell phone cut out and he heard sirens.
He came, oh no, and he watched us pull her out.
Speaker 1: Oh so that hit hard. And then I have kids, Yeah,
were they around that ege? No, mine were young at
the time, but still.
Speaker 2: And then the nurse, God bless her. I'll just never
forget because you have to remember I was just a
hot mass. I'm covered in blood, I'm scraped out, a
glass in my hair, I'm doing my job like I'm
all in it, and this nurse just turns on her
heel and she just looks at us and it's like,
why do you even transport her? Like why do you
even print her hair? There's no empathy and it just
went there was like and I just went to the
bathroom in the earms started bombing because I was like,
what am I supposed to do with this?
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 2: Fifteen years of.
Speaker 1: That I have to ask you, you know, dealing with
I mean, and I understand you have the the psychic
thing going on, and the psychic thing going on, and
you've got the I see the energies and the angels
and all. I know you had that side of you. Yes,
we do. But you're still a human being and you
had fifteen years of seeing death all the time and
seeing humanity at it's the worst of humanity at the
worst time of their lives or shortly thereafter then not
their lives. How did you process it without anybody to
talk to about it, because it doesn't sound like you
had You're not talking, You're not going through therapy or
anything like that at the time, not at the time, eventually,
but during that time just processing that. Like I mean,
I have family members who are in the healthcare field
and nothing is extreme as what you're doing, and they
had to just process just being in a hospital period like,
not not even an emergency room, just like a hospital
and they had the process stuff that they saw. So
how did you even deal with How does it change you?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Fundamentally changes us as people. And again, first responders were
a different breed, you know, we run towards what everybody
else runs away from. And so there's something within us
and our wiring and thank God, thank God for us
right like we're needed, especially in this world now because
it's busy Now'm one one is always very busy for
me at the time. I would go between working shifts
in the streets on running nine one one, and I
became a paramedic instructor, and so I would teach school,
and so I would go between, and when I started
to get too burned out from running the calls, I
would teach more and then so I would kind of
lateral back and forth with that, and that was a
good day. That was my co And so I was
raising two small children and me being kind of the intense,
like adrenaline junkie. It was about I start. I've always
exercised a lot, you know, especially after I got healthy again,
and so marathons, ultra marathons. Yeah, I was like elite
level fitness for a couple of years. Like, so I
was always kind of doing the higher intensity, but the
physical exertion helped me to process through a lot of it.
And I still didn't get to the root of my
own personal trauma and deal with the full magnitude of
it until I got into my own somatic trauma therapy.
Speaker 1: Right. So, because it's not only that you you came
into that job with trauma, yeah, and a lot of baggage,
and eternally you're like, I just you just shoved down somewhere.
I don't want to deal with it. Then you start
seeing that all of this, do you carry that with you? No,
you know you were lucky you just let it go.
Speaker 2: Well, and again, because we're wired differently, like I'm not
looking at that like it's a person and this is
just how we're trained. You have to understand there's no
sense of like I'm looking at it like, oh, we
have eleven bullet wounds, find the entry, find the exit, you.
Speaker 1: Name.
Speaker 2: We have to stabilize the body, stabilize the body. You're
going and you're running the mechanics. So we run the
mechanics with a huge team, and the team are usually dudes,
and you know, it's it's a very intense, but it's
a very fine tuned machine, like that of being a
first responder, and so it's it's less about that and
it's not the like the bloods and the blood and
the guts, and the gore doesn't typically affect us. It's
what humans do to each other. And it's always the mom,
the mother screaming when she just lost her baby. Ah,
that's the worst of the worst that pierces through you.
That's what stays with us.
Speaker 1: So the closest I have had to anything that you're
talking about. I had an experience once. I think I've
ever spoken about this. I was driving in Orlando with
a buddy of mine and we were going to a
comic book convention. But my friend was a registered nurse.
You saw a car accent or something car acent, he
stopped because that's just instinct, and it was I'll never
I mean, it's burned into my head. I can only
mend you have thousands these in your head. I we
got out, He's like, I gotta help. Two motorcycles ran
right into one of them ran right into a van,
like the front No, so the vans here. The motorcycle
t bones the bodies off this So it was a
father and son. The father is the one that t
bones the son. I guess cliped something. But he was out.
I mean he was like, he was also hurt. But
nothing is bad. When we got I'm getting chills just
even thinking about this. When we got there, I had
never experienced anything like it. And my my buddy went
into nurse mode like he was. He was an R
guy too, so he's like boomom boom, boom boom. And
the guy's the father. It was purple. He was purple.
His face was purple. So they had taking the helmet
off and they were trying. He was trying to revive them.
And there's chaos and people yelling, and empt has not
gotten there yet and cops haven't gotten there yet. It's
like we didn't see it happened, but we might have
been ten seconds fifteen seconds behind. And then the kid
is sitting maybe fifty feet away and he's sitting on
the ground bloody, but he's up and.
Speaker 2: That he just lost his dad.
Speaker 1: He's yelling at he's yelling for his dad, and the
screams because no one was telling him anything because there's
nobody there that knows what they're doing yet except my buddy,
and the yells and the screams. I'll never forget it.
He's like yelling for his father, yelling for it. I'll
never forget that.
Speaker 2: That's what stays with us.
Speaker 1: That's what stays with you, isn't it? And and that
was and then we got in our car, like as
soon as the empty we just got in our car
and left. But I can't imagine you're dealing with that
not only once a day, dozens of times sometimes years.
Speaker 2: And just remember that's how fast it happens. That guy
had no idea, the idea. And so remind just the
reminder to everybody, you guys, please live your lives. You know,
please live your lives and celebrate and do what you
want to do and do it.
Speaker 1: What is the biggest lie you had believed about yourself
that you dismissed?
Speaker 2: Oh, that I was crazier? There was something wrong me. Man,
if somebody would have told me twenty years ago, would
I tell people now like sure would have shaved a
lot of you know, time off my process. But I
understand that I had to go through everything. I had
to go through all the steps and stages to really
understand and be able to integrate deeply fully embody and
integrate self acceptance, groundedness with highcensed perception and you know,
very intense energetic abilities.
Speaker 1: Why do you believe that someone who had such a
traumatic past, picks an extremely traumatic career. What do you
believe that that experience those fifteen years did for your journey,
because I know what you did for others and helping.
Speaker 2: You know what it did, Alex. Honestly, you guys like
we tend to be so self absorbed and so self focused,
and we just start in our little bubbles living our lives,
and a lot of us are like, poor me, right,
And so I was like, poor me right, I've had
this hard life, which I did genuine and you had
a poor me I genuinely did.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor
and now back to the show. But go into the
nine one one system.
Speaker 2: I genuinely believe that it should be mandated for people
to have to write along to see what is actually happening. Right,
there's the concept of what's happening, and then there's the
reality of what's happening, and we as first responders in
law enforcement, stand between the general population and that, and
so having a good understanding and idea of what's actually happening.
It shows you you go outside of your bubble, you
get to see different experiences, how different people live, different demographics,
different socioeconomic background. It's completely different people than you, and
it humbles you to the core. Because I realized, yeah,
I had it rough Man icon. You could look at
what I come through and you could be like, I
get it, you know, and that pales in comparison to
what some people go through. And I have been humbled
by people that I have met out there on the
streets and you look in their eyes and you see
God because the clarity in some of them. I mean,
it is all around us all the time. And if
you're just in your little world so self focused and
just trying to like maintain being so spiritual, and I
have to do it a certain way, and I put
my pressure on myself to let's just be real, Okay,
take yourself out, go talk to somebody. It's not like
you try to have a conversation. Learn something about ways
that other people are. So that's what I learned, Alex.
It's not about me. It's not all about me, and
we're all in this together, right, and some people are
going through things that you could never even comprehend. So
that's the biggest takeaway because I was able to see, like, yeah,
all of this high sense perception stuff, I really wouldn't
wish on a lot of people. And ultimately some of
the things that I saw in the nine one one system,
I was like, Wow, my life is cake in l
a in La in the Bay Area too? Are Yeah?
Speaker 1: Rough? Yeah, callis it's busy. It's not Fargo. It was
wasn't It wasn't Fargo, North Dakota. Fargo, North Dakota.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I only know that access from watching the movie. I apologie.
I'd never been. It is like that is it really
is that? We don't? You know?
Speaker 2: It comes out? You know what's funny is people are like,
I can only tell you have an accent when you're
on a call, because I guess it would come out
on calls all of a sudden, the South Dakota accent
on a call the most part. I got rid of
that accent.
Speaker 1: Yeah lord, how have to ask you though? So the
angel energy I find very fascinated at any moment. Did
you ever connect with those energies?
Speaker 2: Connect how?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: Just like.
Speaker 2: Hell, for sure? You know what it is. It's so magnificent.
You just feel it's omnipresent. It takes your breath away.
There's some deities and some celestial frequencies and some of
the archetypical energies and frequencies. When you go into meditation
or plant medicine journeys and you come face to face
with some of these, it's just like you just feel
like a little mouse on the corner, just grateful to
be there.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: It's just absolutely reverence.
Speaker 1: So it was it always angels, Well, that's a trauma, trauma.
Speaker 2: It's celastial, and there's different you know, breeds of angels
or whatever. And I wasn't. It wasn't like I am Michael.
It was never that. It was just like this, there
was an energy of frequency that would form. But on
the other ones you saw, yeah, like if they had
a religious archetype or pet or oftentimes.
Speaker 1: So what I have to ask, I mean, obviously geez
this Jesus who else? I'm just curious.
Speaker 2: I would just see the different ones from the different
Hindu Buddhists, like different because it's just archetypical.
Speaker 1: Right right, because that's what they're using usually.
Speaker 2: Because it would be it would be that, and it
was more often times family members.
Speaker 1: So let me ask you from your point of view,
when you say architect archetypical, if you're a Buddhist, you
expect Buddha to show up, You would expect, right, You
don't expect Mohammad to show up.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: Is that representation of Buddha actually Buddha's energy or is
it another energy from the other side making you comfortable
that like that's it? Is that what you think? That's
not the actual Buddha energy?
Speaker 2: Well, it's it's it's it's paradoxical, right, because more than
one thing can be true simultaneously, especially especially right. And
so it's it's there's a frequency that comes into a
clairvoyant vision and that creates a picture through mirror mortar neurons,
which forms the thought. So that's how we're getting these.
So if I'm seeing dark entities or something on someone,
it's not that they have like a snake on them.
There's going to be an energy frequency associated with whatever
their experiences that's creating that, and so that's how it's
registering to me. So is it the actual frequency of
that particular deity?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And then is it my perception being met with that?
Speaker 1: So it's probably going to be a combination. I have
to ask you, and I'm saying I'm asking this question
for a reason you tested. I'm asking you this question
for a reason. The you know, you've seen every aspect
of humanity in those fifteen years, especially in LA. And
I lived in LA for close to fifteen years too,
so you meet everybody, but you definitely met everybody, and
you say different, socioeconomic, all that stuff. But you probably
ran into some pretty gnarly bad people doing bad things?
Is there one? And I'm sure you don't know them.
Maybe sometimes you're like, well, there was a shootout here,
so obviously these guys weren't this or that. But when
you walked into a place maybe later on your shift
or the next day, I'm like, you know who that was?
Kind of like that guy was like the biggest drug
dealer in this or that kind of stuff. At any
moment with any of those those gnarly people, did you
ever see anything negative? Did I see anything negative?
Speaker 2: Meaning like energy wise? Yeah, yeah, for sure. So how
explain that when it comes to and this is a
great question. Actually, I'm glad you circled back to it.
So when we're shedding the body, it's taking off a
heavy coat, your yourself, your experience is still intact, so
your likes, your dislikes, your thoughts, your believes you're all
of your experience is just all of a sudden, you're
like lighter and there's no pain but right, But it's
like that's when you're disembodied. Right, And so again, I've
never seen a dark entity or energy snatch you away
at that stage where darkness is is in this paradigm.
This is a dualistic I'm the human experience. We have contrast.
It's the point of being alive. So there's a whole
lot of contrast going down out there in the world.
Let's just be real, right, like, this is what's happening. Look,
it's like we're in this powder kit right now or
boiling pot. Pressure is high. Everything's so intense. People are
like coming and glued all around us right now. And
this is why it's really good to understand what this
is now. There's nothing bad or wrong. There's different soul
incarnations and experiences. Some people incarnate specifically with the dark
soul experience, and they serve as teachers, like they can
be very powerful destructors, right or disruptors, disruptors, destructors, sociopaths, psychopaths,
narcissists like actual narcissists, those guys all kind of are
in that genre, if you will. Now, when it comes
to dark entities or darkness in people's fields, typically going
to be attached to substance. So oftentimes alcohol, meth amphetamine, heroin, uh, fentanyl, oxyconton,
every one of these types of things, even overeating, any
type of addictive behavior, any sort of subconscious program that's
going to be you know in that uh you know,
when we get in that place, we're not in a
good place with ourselves that has that denser vibration attached
to it. So oftentimes I would see entities like if
somebody's got victim mentality or they're like really sociopathic or psychopathic,
and I would see things crawling on them, like almost
like bugs in their in their energy fields. You could
see their energy in they're in or not physically, this
is in the energy field.
Speaker 1: Right, So is this after they disembodied?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, this is a human thing, man, because
we have this is common when you're walking around.
Speaker 1: So when you're walking around, you'd be like, oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I mean more people now, Like when I'm
out and about, it's rare to see somebody who's like
vibrant and healthy and happy, if you are healthy and
happy in today's society, that's like the ultimate act of rebellion.
And I see and I say a hell you out
of that right and live your life, maintain your power
and learn, learn your system, learn your energy bodies, learn
what your physical body needs like, start to understand what
you're here for. Because each of us has a gift.
I believe you know. Not everybody's in this energy spiritual world.
Not everybody's meant to be in this energy spiritual Some
people are like musical geniuses or mathematical geniuses. Awesome, right,
everybody's doing what they're doing. But nothing to fear in darkness.
And I would have presented in when I was in
myself destructive days, I would have presented like that I
had a lot of dark energy because I had a
lot of trauma and a lot of self hatred and
a lot of despair. And that stuff shows up thick
in the fields. And I can see it in people's cells.
I can see it in their emotional bodies. I can
see it in their thought patterns, and I can track
it in disease processes in their bodies. And then the
invitation is always like, well, how's all working?
Speaker 1: For you.
Speaker 2: You're ready, do you want to like shift that? And
nobody finds me until it really read like nobody's ever
gonna like show up because I'm not the handholding healer type.
I'm still very much the paramedic.
Speaker 3: You're not that.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be fine. Come over here,
We'll have a nice little tea. You're more of the sledgehammer, Yeah,
get back.
Speaker 2: To the get or done right? Well, my, my, what
I like to do now is it's like triage, overhaul, stabilize,
and get people there their physical like physical, mental, emotional, energetic,
and spiritual. Right, So we'll overhaul somebody's entire life in
working in a session to get them reconnected to their
power to understand like what all of this is, which
to me, it's an invitation, right. Maybe it's because I'm
where I'm from and I've been through what I've been through.
Maybe it's because I'm stubborn. Maybe it's because I'm gen X.
Maybe it's all of it, but I always what's unique
about me is the willingness to time after time. I mean,
I have been burned to the ground so many times
in this life. But there's always this little ember, there's
always this little thing that's like keep going, well, I'm curious,
what was I what's the lesson? What's the invitation? How
can I transmute this? How can I integrate this? And
it's the alchemy of spinning and integrating that and what
happens when we have that willingness, and that willingness is
absolute key because if you don't have if you're bypassing
the willingness and you don't want to be uncomfortable, if
you're bypassing the willingness and you're wanting to externalize your power,
you're not ever going to be able to fully integrate
and land and own your own personal power. And I'm
just all about you guys. You could do it like
we could totally do it. And helping people understand, yeah,
that they have the potential to really integrate. I know
you've been through hard things. I know this life is Oh,
it's a lot, right, But if you're willing to take
one hundred percent personal responsibility for your physical health, for
your emotions, for your thoughts, for your behavior patterns, and
challenge old paradigms, make new choices, stop blaming and being outraged. Please,
I see all the time in the world of empaths
and high sense perception. I mean, these guys are my people,
and there's tremendous victim culture. I'm so sensitive. I can't function.
I spend a long time there. I can't go out.
I can't go in the crowd. I can't. It's so much,
it's too intense. I can't And that doesn't serve us ultimately,
because we are here, the humanity is shifting. Obviously, We're
having a lot's happening in the world. I really believe
that the more that we own our own power and
buck the system and have fun and be healthy and
be powerfully grounded in our gifts, that assists this evolution
of consciousness.
Speaker 1: But with that said, though, I mean, like for me,
I'm fairly sensitive. I don't partake like large crowds. I
don't like concerts that kind of stuff. I'm not like
I'll go, but I'm you know, I'm gonna be like
the kind of thing, so I kind of mentally protect
myself and I you know, put a little you know,
white light.
Speaker 2: Can I give you tools?
Speaker 1: Okay? Well, first of all, before you give me tools,
let's get into this before you, Before you want to
go out. So before you give me the tools, I
would love to hear these tools, because I'm sure the
audience would like to hear these tools. I have to
ask you what it's because I don't I don't think
I've had maybe once or twice in the whole time
i've been doing this, I've had someone read my aura.
Can you do you mind reading me as an example
and then give us a tool?
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure. So typically when I'm looking at somebody,
we're going to start from the outer layers and work
our way in. And so for you, obviously your crown
chaka is very open.
Speaker 1: What does that look like?
Speaker 2: It's a cascade for you, It's going to be a
very beautiful golden mixed with purple energy, and it's wide
like a crown. You've got a spiral coming down. You've
got very synthesized, streamlined mental body energy. What that means
is you're intelligent and you're good at linear thinking and execution.
So what that looks like is ticker tape algorithms like
the matrix. Remember Greens, my favorite movie. So start up
here at the crown. We were open here because you're
open minded, you're grounded too, those of you're analyticals. So
you've got this really beautiful blend between left and right brained.
The energy is synthesizing down through third eye and then
coming down into throats, so you have this really beautiful
open cascade here. You're open hearted, yet at the same
time a little like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, we'll suss ye out.
Speaker 2: So you're not just like, yes, peace in love everybody.
I'm not that very energetically open, but just sus it out,
which I appreciate because I really like grounded and I
appreciate people who are skeptical. I appreciate people who want
kind of like, let's land this stuff, let's make it
make sense, right, And so we're starting there, and then
we would go into We've got orange coming out around
the shoulders. We've got some tightness and stiffness in the
back of the neck and shoulders pulling a little bit
here between the shoulder blades, a little bit of holding
up here under the diaphragm. And so that's just kind
of you're ruminating over things, you're creating things, You're gonna
build things, but you're gonna you still got a lot
to process in terms of all of this expansion that
wants to come out, and you're like, yeah, but I'm
a human and I still get a balance all this stuff.
So this is being pulled here under the diaphragm, which
just pulling up the neck on the shoulders and wants
to come here. Root is root, and pelvis are quite open,
quite grounded, just in terms of you're grounded, you're running
and synthesizing your energy. So I'm seeing gold, I'm seeing purple,
I'm seeing orange. There's the green ticker tape and what
it looks like.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor,
and now back to the show.
Speaker 2: The ore is not one color, you guys. It's Russian
nesting dolls, right, And each layer of the field has
a whole bunch of different data and information, so it's
always moving around. Now, if I was to touch you,
or if we were to actually deep dive into a session,
then I could trace back into like each organ system
and find any imbalance, any areas of holding shame, and
then we would look at physical, mental, emotional, energetic, and
spiritual ways to integrate and become that's awesome.
Speaker 1: So that's that's mine. And then what are some examples
of other kind of orc So like I'm open, so
you're open, but others are closed.
Speaker 2: Some people are super close. You know, what most people
look like are going to be bobbleheads. So because everybody's
in their head and they're so anxious, and everybody's so
amped all the time, and there's so much like cortisol
and stress and everybody's systems like they're in war zone
all the time. So they're overthinking. They're constantly being bombarded
and stimulated. So it's like a bobblehead of information that
cuts off here at the occiput at the back of
the neck, and they're disconnected from their heart. They're disconnected
from their own personal power and truth. And so I
oftentimes see people forward leaning because we're in a very driven,
motivated society. You can never ever stop, you can never stop,
and so it looks like a hypertrophy. So hypertrophy is
swelling and it becomes the oric field becomes like a
flat tire. Okay, so most people go forward and then
they're top heavy and forward leaning. Now what happens there.
We can have sleep interruption, insomnia, emotional distress. We can
be disassociated and a lot of times what I'm seeing
with people. We have two general categories. Now there's going
to be a lot of crossover, but we have a
ton of people who are exhausted, super depleted, apathetic, just sluggish,
like say, like they weigh weigh a thousand pounds, so
their fields are saturated and looks like gray clay, and
it's just heavy and bogged down, and it's like they
try but they can't like really get it, and so
that could be oftentimes I see is what I call
an undiagnosed and path. They don't know they're taking on
and holding everybody else's stuff, right, And so it's really
easy to release and integrate that if you know how
to do it. But then we have to It's not
just about the energetics, you guys. We have to hit
all layers, every single level matters physical, mental, emotional, energetic,
and spiritual. All they're all correlated. And so we can
come to a clearing and we have to understand, Okay,
balance hormones, get yourself hydrated, balance the gut biome, make
sure that the adrenals and the endocrine system are dialed in.
What are your beliefs? How you doing? You got paraslites
like where are we at with your physical and then
what are your belief structures? Are you addicted to processing?
Are you addicted to intensity? Are you addicted to and
are you willing then to shift into a different way
of being right?
Speaker 1: And can you talk because obviously you're very fit and
you said you've worked out a lot and you take
care of yourself and you've been doing this for a
long time. What's the energetic of the foods?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: God, can we talk just dive in a little bit
on that, because it's something so important that people in
the spiritual community don't get.
Speaker 2: Yeh.
Speaker 1: In concept, You're like, you should be eating stuff from
Mother Earth and you should be doing and I've seen
all of that, but most don't and they don't understand.
They're like, why can't I meditate? Well, maybe because you're
hopped up on caffeine all day, yeah, or maybe you're
taking forty Red bulls a day or something like that.
So what are the energetics that you see in foods?
And how does it affect not only your body, but
your ability to connect with spirit, to connect with yourself,
connect with your own power to function.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's such a huge thing. So few food as
fuel let medicine like, let them food be thy medicine,
thy medicine. Now we are living in a toxic environment
and this is just what is from from top to bottom. Okay,
every close the food, the water. Now we can scream
and stomp and tantum around about how terrible it is,
and we can pull our power back and say what
am I going to do about it? Okay?
Speaker 1: Each our food is not food.
Speaker 2: Our food is like food like substance. We're eating microplastics,
we are having fluoridated water. We are like, this is
a real thing, and most Americans are riddled with parasites,
heavy metals. Don't know it right, We're not taught about it.
We're not educated about it. So even if you're eating
what you think is organic, it's still been sprayed by something.
Or we have the trails and the different things going
on in the atmosphere. So the soil itself is lacking nutrients.
And we're pretty far down the chain in terms of
anything actually having a tremendous amount of praana. It does exist,
And for you, it's about for each individual. You, guys,
there's no right way for each person. Everybody's different, right,
So if some vegan works for somebody, it might not
work for somebody else. My system needs more like Paleo
or Mediterranean. I need bats and good proteins and a
lot of you know, things to anchor me. Otherwise I
float away like a helium balloon with all of this stimulus.
Taking that self responsibility. Understand that most people are chronically dehydrated.
Chronic dehydration leads to lethargy, apathy, like limp system coagulation.
Everything is interconnected. So we want to start in the
easiest possible way. Just drink more water, add some lemon
water to it, or electrolytes to it. Just drink more water,
pink salt, well something, yeah, well some something, well something something.
Go outside and sit in the sun for ten minutes,
like just get a little bit of vitamin D. Right,
So we're going to start super basic paramedic protocols. Man,
We've got to make this stuff like easy and applicable
and free so that you can do it, you know,
for yourself when you're feeling low. The world is what
it is, and we can still retain our power and say, Okay,
I'm going to figure out what my system needs and
what works for my system. So that I can still thrive,
because thriving as humans and thriving as sensitive humans is possible.
And again, I'm all about buck the system, man, right,
I'm all about like, yeah, to be healthy, to be happy,
to feel good in your body, ultimate active rebellion to
meet that success.
Speaker 1: So when you see ultra processed foods versus a whole food, yeah, energetically, it's.
Speaker 2: Just it's essentially like gray, very slow moving like that.
The energy is something, it's very very low charged energy.
It's going to be a darker or more slow moving
charge with no like vitality. Vitality is moving energy. Vitality
is going to be a brighter sitting water versus moving water.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's perfect analogy. Okay, so we'll start with hydration.
Go get some sun, Just move your body, go walk
around the block, you know, just little things. Start with
the basic things. And then if you can, I used
to you know, eat all the fast food kind of
stuff over time. I mean, this is real. Let's be real,
like we do.
Speaker 1: What we do is a paramedic. Yeah, I mean you
don't have time to you know, I need to make
my whole, my organic thing a thing.
Speaker 2: No, and it's about like, okay, personal responsibility, figuring out
what works for your system and then dialing in and
being like, oh, maybe you're severely constipated or have g
I chronic GI issues like Chrohn's disease or IBS, or
we have leaky gut syndrome and that flares into autoimmune
things in line, all kinds of stuff. But it's all interconnected,
all right, And so we always want to start with
like the least invasive and then work your way up
into a more advanced protocol. So always start where you
are and then figure out like, yeah, actually my system
does need you know, good meats or heavier fats, or
maybe some people are like no, I do really a
lot better on Just plant plants and find what really
genuinely feels good to you. From there, clear out the GI.
Clear out your GI. You guys, very very important to understand.
Just do some research. The gut biome. The microbiome is
the second brain of the body, and it literally feeds
every single organ. And if you aren't recognizing that you
have parasites or heavy metal toxicity or things like that,
your whole system is going to be balked. So it
doesn't matter how much organic food you're eating, right, because
it's not going to be processing through the system.
Speaker 1: That's the thing people don't understand, Like if they don't
take care of the machine that's running it, like processing
this food. You could eat the best most energetic food
in the world, but your body can't.
Speaker 2: You can't absorb it, and so that's kind of the whole.
Speaker 1: It's like putting high octane in a really crappy engine exactly.
The engine's been like you've been beating this engine with
low you haven't changed the oil and fifty thousand miles
and you're putting ultraprime gas and you're like, why isn't
this working totally wrong? The engine? You have to prime
the engine.
Speaker 2: I'm the engine now. One of the other things I
see oftentimes in the spiritual community is wanting to be
out of body, not really focusing on being in the body.
So there's a lot of ascension, visualization, meditation like up
and out. I'm going to go up and out so
I can feel better. Okay, cool, I get that. And
we're here. We're in a body. You're in a body,
you're humans, So we got to like be in the body.
And the more willing we are to be grounded in
the body and again take it's you bring back the
power and it's that willingness. A lot of sensitives don't
want to be in their bodies because it's a lot dude,
I get it. I've lived it forever. It's like this
constant stimulus bombardment. So the last thing, like when I
started my process, I've done twenty five years now of
somatic trauma therapy and processing and integrating and plant. That
is all the things facing myself over and over and over,
and every single time I would be circled back to
just be in your body, feel it, regulate your nervous system,
be present with what is, and then you make new choices. Right,
so as you're feeling better, you're you're willing to be
in your body and do the basic things. Hydrate, eat
cleaner foods, less GMO if possible, less you know, processed
food if possible, But just get out and move your
body and hydrate and get in the sun. Just those
things are going to make you feel better. Then you
figure out supplement wise, and then you get into managing
gut biome through all the ways that there are, and
you're going to really start kicking in. The reason that's
so important is because the more willing you are to
be powerful in your body, the more willing, the more
powerful you can be in your energetics, in your gifts.
Speaker 1: And that's the thing that people don't get.
Speaker 2: And I know it makes me no one Bananda sandwich
because I'm like, you guys, down and in, down and in.
They're like, no ascension five D eleven D. I'm like, cool,
but down and in. We're here right now, we're having
a human experience. Do you want to own this? Do
you want to be this? I get that you being
human is limited, and there's a lot of contrast, and
people don't unnecessary understand and a lot of sensitives just
don't resonate. We don't feel like we fit here, we
don't feel like they necessarily belong with other humans. So
it's easier to want to go out.
Speaker 1: And in the East, I mean even in the Vedic
traditions and those things they're talking about prana, they talk
about the food and ire Vedic and all of that stuff.
So they understood that there needed to be a balance
with all of it. But a lot of the New
Age movement does not talk about it. It's something that
it's something that needs to be spoken about a lot
more because it's you know, you can meditate all day,
but you go out, you know, fast food, yeah, and
then meditate. I'm like, I'm meditating. I can't it's not working.
I'm like, well, maybe because you're not taking care of
the vehicle.
Speaker 2: They are in totally you know what I mean. Yeah,
and you can't visualize parasites way Sorry, guys, we actually
have to detox those.
Speaker 1: You know, it's not just.
Speaker 2: About like that visualization or meditation. It's embodying, it's being,
and that's coming to terms with you. You got to
get real with you, and that's that's the that's the CRUs,
that's everything.
Speaker 1: You have to get real with you in every aspect
of your life, not just food, not just spiritual, not
just mental or trauma. You've got to look yourself in
the mirror in all aspects of your life. And most
people do not want to do that because that's it's scary,
it's scary, and it's it's unpleasant. Yeah, but for someone
like yourself who's gone through so much unpleasant, so much so,
that muscle is so strong within you. You're like, yeah,
that's what I do. I just I just do that
because I'm just that's that's my happy place is to be.
Speaker 2: It is becoming. I used to think there was something
wrong with being uncomfortable and comfortable. You have to learn
to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. It's not that or
wrong if you're uncomfortable. The question is always like what
is this bringing up within me?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: And the key takeaway to everybody who's watching this is
really the willingness. The more willing you are to just
one be authentic with who you are, be true to me.
The most spiritual thing you can possibly do is be real,
be authentic. Absolutely, can we get out high fiving and
just be you and accept yourself as human and the
spiritual construct of I need to be a certain way
and always happy and flowing and etheric, and it's it's
a construct. That's not the reality. You don't You're not etheric.
If you get out of bed two in the morning
to go pee and you step your toe like you know,
that's real. We have reactions and we have contrasts, and
being okay with who and how you are, being okay
with your sensitivities, being okay with your past history being
okay with challenges looking at how did I recreate that?
Speaker 1: What did I get? Why?
Speaker 2: Why did that cycle back in? Why do I attract
another one of those dudes like or whatever is? Can
we stop caretaking men or when men or whatever and
men don't care?
Speaker 1: That's okay, okay, okay, I know you were. You were
trying to be inclusive, and I appreciate that. But I've
never met a dude like you know what. I think
I can change that girl. I think I need to
nurture her. That's not that's not a male trait and
she generally listen, listen, I was raised with women. I'm
surrounded by women all the time. I get it, and
even I am not like I must nurture this. But no,
it's not a male energy and it needs to be
balanced because the male energy is like drives yea and
the female energy just like we need that, Yes, we do,
we need both. Yeah, we'll be right back after a
word from our sponsor, and now back to the show.
I think more of this one right here. The women
want a little bit more feminine, divine feminine energies is
needed more because we got a lot of this. We
do the world right now before we finish up. I
have to because I promised to ask psychedelics. So plant medicine,
what the hell did you see? Because you're open already? Yeah,
So was it a slower ramping in because form I
to understand plant medicine. I've never taken any plant medicine,
but everyone I've spoken to have. It's like a rocket ship,
especially if you're not initiated or ready. It's a rocket ship,
like you go from zero to a thousand like that,
and most psyches can't handle that, have an issue with that.
But you were more open about it, like you've seen
stuff experience. So it was it an easier ramp up.
Speaker 2: Into Well, it was just a bigger version of what
I deal with every day for me, right, And so
wasn't as daring. Yeah, it wasn't as drawing. And okay,
so I was in that world. I was in the
scene for about five years and it's become a very
popular It's like I got my spiritual merit badge. Right,
I've done whatever Alaska and Bufo and like combo and
all the things. Now there are very profound and powerful
applications for these. Please only do plant medicines. If one,
you get a solid internal yes, if there's any hesitation,
if there's any wavering, don't do it. You're not ready. Two,
everybody and their mom is running around pouring ayahuasca and
plant medicines right now. They went down. They got some
shaman pants in Peru. After a two week initiation, they
came back and claimed that they are like whatever, and
these people are running like eighty people ceremonies in warehouses
and stuff.
Speaker 1: It's insane with you in van eyes, yeah, but everywhere.
Don't take ayahuasca in La. I'm so sorry. I'm sure
there's some price, some good shamans. I'm sure there's a
shaman version these you guys.
Speaker 2: Just all of these things are just adjuncts, okay. But
it's the bullet train. So if your foundation is not set,
if you don't have a good self connection, not grounded
in your body, if you're you know, on a very
down that precipice of trauma integration, but you're not sure
which way it's going to go, it can do more
harm than good. Okay. So in any I've done.
Speaker 4: All of them.
Speaker 2: Myahuasca five A MEO d MT DMT mescalin combo. I
begin all of these things, and I like that I
have done that because I can speak to them in
first hand experiences. What I learned in all of that
is that all it does is it opens you up
to the higher consciousness. You have some insights. Yes, sometimes
we purge, sometimes we release. You come back and guess.
Speaker 1: What, You're still you.
Speaker 2: You're still you, And it's all about integration. So what
I've seen is that it's become a very hip and
popular scene and a lot of people are wanting that
as the magic bullet or the magic ride, like I'm
going to go do this and then I'll be fixed.
Now rubber meets the road, guys, it's back to square one.
And then you then you're dealing with what did I
just experience? What did I just see? How do I
deal with that? Where do I put that? When I
got to go back to my cubicle and deal with
my boss who's annoying, Like we come back. It's all
about integration. Plant medicine work in today's culture, it's all
about integration. It's all about what you do with it.
Speaker 1: And if you get that sense of like, oh I
must not have got it.
Speaker 2: I got to go back. I got to do more.
I got to do more.
Speaker 1: I got to do more rides.
Speaker 2: And then what we're seeing is just it's addictive tendency,
but it's.
Speaker 1: Another way of numbing this. Like I don't want to
be here. I want to go somewhere. I want to
go home.
Speaker 2: I want to go home. I'd rather be home. And
I understand that, you guys, but we are always higher
consciousness for all of eternity. We came here for the
specific reason to have your human experience. This is a
tiny fragment of time. It can dry, it it can
really dry, and it can seem like an eternity, but
it is over in a second, so we will always
go back.
Speaker 1: So what was the craziest thing you saw in any
of those experiences.
Speaker 2: There isn't anything that I didn't see in the way
of face to face with every deity, every ascended master,
every dark realm, every hell realm. I've been through all
of the things. And Ayahuasca is grandmother. She's very light
dark and so that was a lot of my trauma integration.
I came face to face with my mother. I needed
to come face to face with my mother and like
hash out some stuff. So mescaline is going to be grandfather.
It's going to be more of like plant healing, earth healing,
and it was a lot of a gentler ride. So
each of these ones have very specific applications. What I
would advocate for you if you're thinking about doing it, First,
get a solid internal yes. Second, research really good viable resources.
MDMA assisted trauma therapy is doing wonders, combats responders. It
is legit, all right, So you can find agencies that
are like, we're the psilocybin, all of these things. It's
it's opening. The field is opening, thank goodness. And always
ask the providers, ask questions, how long have you been
doing this? You know, find real people, find real people
that really truly know. Don't just do it because your
best friend Jamie wants to go.
Speaker 1: It's Friday night. There's going to be a ayahuasca ceremony
in Van Nye or up in the hills. Yeah, and
then you show up and there's a bunch of you know.
Speaker 2: Because what happens, You're going to go, You're gonna have
whatever experience you're gonna have. Okay, then you're going to
come back into your body and you'd be like, whoa Okay,
that was the thing. Now what I'm experiencing in my practice,
and people seek me out for all kinds of things.
But like I get a lot of people that blow
out disregulate their nervous system and they have full sight
breaks or close to psyche breaks. So then we induce
like tremors or insomnia or night tererers or anxiety. These
are very potent tools and so just use them accordingly. Yeah,
that's what I said.
Speaker 1: This is nuts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know what I did, honestly. So I'm
grateful that I did all of it, and my biggest
takeaway is that I didn't need to do all of that.
I liked the experiences. I like being able to speak
firsthand about the experiences. I like being helped people to
help people integrate those experiences. But my most powerful has
been when I'm just willing to sit in my body
and feel it.
Speaker 1: Sarah, where can people find out more about you and
the amazing work you're doing? And pick up a copy
of your book Journey into Grace, which is Tales of
the Psychic Paramedic. That's awesome. That is a that is
awesome that you can you can find me.
Speaker 2: At Sarah kagrace dot com and that's Sarah with an
h K Grace dot com.
Speaker 1: And if someone wants to do a session with you
or anything like that, it's.
Speaker 2: All on there. You can work with me individually or
in groups or there.
Speaker 1: I have a feeling that I can talk to you
for at least another ten days. There's stuff, there's glic.
It was such a pleasure meeting you, a pleasure sharing
your story with my audience. And thank you so much
for the bravery that you've done with coming up publicly
doing this and doing the good work and really helping
to awaken the planet. So I appreciate you. I appreciate
you too, Thank you, Thank you for spending this sacred
time with us today. If you feel called to explore
this conversation further, you'll find the show notes for this
episode at Next levelsoul dot com Forward slash seven one two,
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Speaker 3: The boat at the f