Speaker 1: Listen up, babies, Life's not fair. You get no say
Speaker 1: in the world you're born into. You don't decide your name.
Speaker 1: You don't decide where you come from. You don't decide
Speaker 1: if you have a place to call home or if
Speaker 1: your whole family has to leave the country.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's messed up.
Speaker 1: You don't decide how the world judges a person like you. You
Speaker 1: don't decide how your story begins, but.
Speaker 2: You do get to decide how it ends. It's alone. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's my darkness. That's why I'm laughing.
Speaker 3: Think no mean you think you know me coming to
Speaker 3: my Dungeoness, it's a lonely dungeon because you're wanting every day,
Speaker 3: train this hard by yourself, hit it out.
Speaker 4: The bottom line is, no one's coming no one. No
Speaker 4: one's coming to push you. No one's coming to tell
Speaker 4: you to turn the TV off. No one's coming to
Speaker 4: tell you to get out the door and exercise. Nobody's
Speaker 4: coming to tell you to apply for that job that
Speaker 4: you've always dreamt about. Nobody's coming to write the business
Speaker 4: plan for you.
Speaker 5: It's up to you.
Speaker 6: What did you said to the kid?
Speaker 7: It eat about herd you hit, it's about hard.
Speaker 4: You can get hit, keep moving forward, how much you
Speaker 4: can take, keep moving heart, get up, let's.
Speaker 2: Go get up.
Speaker 8: Right.
Speaker 6: If you're gonna do it, you don't have to do
Speaker 6: it alone.
Speaker 9: You don't think I got the guts to do it alone.
Speaker 6: Okay, I'll show you.
Speaker 2: It's wearing the pants.
Speaker 10: Nobody cares about you is something that would never make
Speaker 10: it clear to me. And I mean that in the
Speaker 10: most positive, optimistic, inspiring, motivating way. You think that everybody's
Speaker 10: paying attention, and because of that, it kind of controls
Speaker 10: how you think. And the reality is nobody gives a shit,
Speaker 10: nobody has time for you.
Speaker 11: I don't care about being solitary. I don't care about
Speaker 11: being on my own. I don't care about taking risks,
Speaker 11: because for a very long time I was, in any
Speaker 11: case on my own.
Speaker 4: I found myself in a place that I just never
Speaker 4: envisioned I would be. I would wake up every morning
Speaker 4: just pinned to the bed with anxiety, and I became
Speaker 4: somebody that I barely recognized. The thing that's interesting about
Speaker 4: being stuck in life is that the fact is you
Speaker 4: know what you need to do. That's the easy part.
Speaker 4: It's the how how the do you make yourself do
Speaker 4: what you need to do when you are scared or
Speaker 4: overwhelmed or anxious or hopeless or depressed or any of
Speaker 4: the stuff that happens to you as a human. That's
Speaker 4: the one hundred million dollar question.
Speaker 12: So after that five, when I lost, and I'm looking
Speaker 12: at all these people and they're all celebrating my demise
Speaker 12: and saying I'm done and this, and it certainly lit
Speaker 12: a fire under my belly. Every single person dealt with me,
Speaker 12: every single fire, deal with me.
Speaker 2: Doubt me. Now, you only got one life, guys.
Speaker 13: Again, if you work it right, you only need one.
Speaker 2: If you choose to spass, you do it alone. Nobody owns, nobody, nothing,
Speaker 2: you owe yourself.
Speaker 14: No one's coming back to help me. So it starts
Speaker 14: with that person in that mirror. You have to realize
Speaker 14: you are on your own now. And whatever else you
Speaker 14: believe in, I don't care what you believe in. But
Speaker 14: on earth it's a very lonely journey.
Speaker 11: The ball for excellence has never been so low. Most
Speaker 11: of your competition quits after the first sign of difficulty
Speaker 11: because they've never known what hard feels like. If it's
Speaker 11: hard for you, it's hard for everyone, and most people
Speaker 11: avoid hard things, which is why you can beat most
Speaker 11: people by just trying.
Speaker 8: That's lonely man, just like being his only car out
Speaker 8: in the parking lot.
Speaker 13: But if you're cool with that, man, if you're cool
Speaker 13: with walking in the shadows of yourself and you know,
Speaker 13: the only person you got a man right there in
Speaker 13: the shadow. Man, How you doing pretty good?
Speaker 11: How you doing all right?
Speaker 6: Man?
Speaker 2: Cool?
Speaker 14: Cool?
Speaker 13: It's kind of weird having a conversation with you but
Speaker 13: anyone else around, because everyone else has faded way back then,
Speaker 13: way back there. You know, if you're cool with that
Speaker 13: kind of walk of life.
Speaker 8: I tell you, man, the world is your playground.
Speaker 2: You will rewrite the book on it all.
Speaker 6: Tom go home and.
Speaker 8: Get some sleep, and sleep might get by the way
Speaker 8: I've earned, I'll be dead asleep.
Speaker 7: In no time.
Speaker 15: The one companion that's always going to be with you
Speaker 15: is yourself. And I think the first thing you have
Speaker 15: to do. I think the first thing we have to
Speaker 15: do is we have to get ourselves to the point
Speaker 15: where we don't necessarily need a companion. We don't want
Speaker 15: to be left alone by ourself with ourselfs. So we
Speaker 15: come in and we sit down and we get on
Speaker 15: our phone, or we turn on the TV, or or
Speaker 15: we go wherever, we do whatever, because we don't want
Speaker 15: to face the reality of being by ourself with ourself.
Speaker 15: Start making yourself a companion that you're comfortable with, and
Speaker 15: become comfortable in your own skin.
Speaker 11: You're not having a bad yo. You've had a few
Speaker 11: bad days that you're thinking about for the rest of
Speaker 11: the year. I've found it helpful when I'm in a
Speaker 11: bad season, like I'm in right now, to just focus
Speaker 11: on having a good day. A good day and a
Speaker 11: bad season is a bite sized victory string. A few
Speaker 11: of those in a row. Bad season feels less hard.
Speaker 11: I'm pretty sure the difference between a happy life and
Speaker 11: an unhappy one doesn't come down to how many good
Speaker 11: or bad days you have, but which days you think
Speaker 11: about over and over again. In some seasons of life,
Speaker 11: maintaining is winning.
Speaker 2: I just have bad news for everybody.
Speaker 16: Nobody cares that you don't have time to practice.
Speaker 5: Nobody cares how you grow up with money, nobody cares
Speaker 5: who you came from, bad neighborhood, nobody cares about your problems.
Speaker 17: No one is going to save you. We can't do
Speaker 17: this for you. This journey predominantly must come from you.
Speaker 17: It's not what other people think.
Speaker 2: It's your light.
Speaker 3: What if it's your light, you gotta be willing to
Speaker 3: pay the vice.
Speaker 2: I knew that no one would come back to help me.
Speaker 2: No one's going to mirror called me to be somebody special.
Speaker 14: Everybody that call me my gair, my mom, all my
Speaker 14: situations were on me.
Speaker 2: Now it's somebody on me.
Speaker 4: You have to take your own responsibility.
Speaker 2: No one's going to save you. You have to do it.
Speaker 2: Should I go back?
Speaker 11: Should I lean back into getting a bag in with
Speaker 11: the boys on a weekend? Is that the highest, you know,
Speaker 11: way that I can live my life?
Speaker 2: Passion forward?
Speaker 11: Because that's what everybody else does. And all of my
Speaker 11: friends are taking the piss. Oh not drinking again? Too
Speaker 11: good for us? Are we not going out again this week?
Speaker 17: Oh?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 11: Well, like enjoy staying in home and reading fucking nerd.
Speaker 11: So you're going to feel the pain of being ostracized
Speaker 11: from the group of friends that you used to have.
Speaker 11: But you're stuck in this messy middle where you haven't
Speaker 11: yet worked out who you are on the other side
Speaker 11: of this, And that lonely chapter that's in the middle
Speaker 11: is something that I would say almost nobody that I've
Speaker 11: ever met who has gone from a place where they
Speaker 11: are to a place where they want to be hasn't
Speaker 11: gone through.
Speaker 8: The small steps in between the big successes that everyone sees.
Speaker 2: No one sees this right now.
Speaker 8: I'm saying, like.
Speaker 16: There's a confidence to her man, there is a bad mother.
Speaker 8: It's the moments in life, the decisions you make on
Speaker 8: a moment to moment basis to.
Speaker 2: Add up to be the guy or not the guy.
Speaker 2: Tonight I did something, you know, I feel.
Speaker 13: More of a guy for me who I am my guy.
Speaker 11: I think about the gap from where people are in
Speaker 11: a place that they don't want to be until they
Speaker 11: get to a place that they do. And I think
Speaker 11: of it like a lonely chapter. Everybody that has got
Speaker 11: from a place where they don't want to be to
Speaker 11: one where they are. There's a point where they they're
Speaker 11: so different that they can't resonate with their old set
Speaker 11: of friends, but they're not yet sufficiently developed that they've
Speaker 11: created their new set of friends. And there's this temptation
Speaker 11: to go back to the old patterns, the old ways
Speaker 11: of thinking. If you want to go from where you
Speaker 11: are to where you want to be, you're going to
Speaker 11: have to do something that makes you more different, more weird,
Speaker 11: more easy to be mocked.
Speaker 2: There is no.
Speaker 11: Support around you, and there is this temptation to go
Speaker 11: back to your old ways of thinking, go back to
Speaker 11: the road that you already know how it's going to end.
Speaker 5: Spending time alone is the only place where you get
Speaker 5: to have these conversations. And most of us are spending
Speaker 5: time away from being alone because we're scared of having
Speaker 5: these conversations. We struggle so much with the idea of
Speaker 5: being present in our own minds and bodies and hearts
Speaker 5: that we distract ourselves. So really the habit is being
Speaker 5: present with myself, with my thoughts and working through when
Speaker 5: I'm happy with myself and when I think I could
Speaker 5: have done better.
Speaker 14: I don't respect whole bunch of people, but the few
Speaker 14: that I did respect are the people who were uncommon
Speaker 14: amongst uncommon people.
Speaker 2: And what that means is those people who aren't afraid
Speaker 2: of standing alone. The thing is, man, it's always going
Speaker 2: to be a party.
Speaker 8: It's always going to be a time to celebrate and
Speaker 8: at the time to join friends or data. I mean,
Speaker 8: the bars are always open, always open about how old
Speaker 8: you are, they're always open. You know what's au is
Speaker 8: open as the opportunity to check the box in life,
Speaker 8: you know, how to achieve your dreams.
Speaker 13: That's not always open mind.
Speaker 2: That's right here. You know that it's getting ahead of
Speaker 2: the competition.
Speaker 8: Is an overwhelming sense of fulfillment and pride and satisfaction
Speaker 8: with that.
Speaker 9: If you're going through that right now, and I promise you,
Speaker 9: every single person who wants to do something with their
Speaker 9: life and has done something with their life has gone
Speaker 9: through the exact chapter that you're going through.
Speaker 2: And it's the lonely chapter.
Speaker 9: It's the chapter where you're you don't fit in with
Speaker 9: your own friends, but you don't have the outcomes yet
Speaker 9: to fit into a new group of friends. And you're
Speaker 9: doing this thing. You're consuming content on the internet. You're
Speaker 9: you're doing these free tutorials online to try and figure
Speaker 9: out how to set up a podcast and what do
Speaker 9: I host this thing?
Speaker 2: And then and you're going through this and you're like,
Speaker 2: am I is this even worth it?
Speaker 9: Because you have no signs of success right But if
Speaker 9: there's anything that you can take away from what we're
Speaker 9: saying right now, is that the sign of success.
Speaker 2: Is the hate that you get along the way.
Speaker 14: We don't have any quiet time with ourselves to sit
Speaker 14: back and say what do I really want?
Speaker 2: There's so many different dialogues in our head that we
Speaker 2: can't think. So my biggest thing is you.
Speaker 14: Have to be alone in a very dark place in
Speaker 14: your mind to think about what is important to you.
Speaker 2: You always have to be the person who roots for
Speaker 2: you before everyone else does.
Speaker 9: And it's usually a single clap in the auditorium for
Speaker 9: a very long period of time.
Speaker 2: It is a slow clap that's just you rooting for you.
Speaker 9: People struggle to do things alone, and the path of
Speaker 9: the exceptional person is one of an exception, which means
Speaker 9: that you are not with other people, and rather than
Speaker 9: fighting that or bemoaning it, see it as an indicator
Speaker 9: that you're on the right path, because if everyone else
Speaker 9: worre cheering you on, then it means you're not in
Speaker 9: the right place, because it means you're just like everyone
Speaker 9: else and that's not where you want to be.
Speaker 14: That starts with the accountability mirror of looking at saying, hey,
Speaker 14: my daddy beat the he's not coming back.
Speaker 2: All these things are coming back.
Speaker 14: I have to face myself and you have to own
Speaker 14: all those things that people may have done to you.
Speaker 2: Now it's yours.
Speaker 3: You got to own it.
Speaker 14: It's yours now to fix the problems that people did
Speaker 14: to you. It makes no sense, it's not fair.
Speaker 2: I get it. But if you live in that will
Speaker 2: was me mentality of guess.
Speaker 14: What my dad did this to me? My mom just
Speaker 14: did to me. People who bully did this to me.
Speaker 2: You're going to always live right there.
Speaker 17: You know, if you're going to create anything of value
Speaker 17: in this life, you're going to even if it's with
Speaker 17: other people, You're going to have to be willing to
Speaker 17: be on.
Speaker 10: Your own for a bit, to forage on your own,
Speaker 10: to take walks alone.
Speaker 2: This isn't for the masses.
Speaker 18: This is for those who they go behind, those who
Speaker 18: are a source of new rail.
Speaker 17: It's a lonely journey.
Speaker 18: You're isolated. Those who used to keep patience will fall off.
Speaker 18: 's see what that rud is and yours begins. Your
Speaker 18: billion suffered endor at work must be traiter. You must
Speaker 18: be willing to stand just up to limit no care
Speaker 18: to your success. Every day you must ask yourself, did
Speaker 18: I do it enough?
Speaker 4: And because you're only ever going to do the things
Speaker 4: that you feel like doing, right now, or that feel
Speaker 4: good right now, unless you understand that you've got to
Speaker 4: parrot yourself. You got to push yourself. You're not going
Speaker 4: to make your dreams come true. You're just not We're
Speaker 4: not wired that way. You weren't born that way. You
Speaker 4: weren't that way when you were going up, and you're
Speaker 4: certainly not that way as an adult. And there's a
Speaker 4: tremendous amount of liberation that comes when you accept the
Speaker 4: fact that you're always going to need to give yourself
Speaker 4: a push.
Speaker 2: Yeah, learn to pick yourself up on your own.
Speaker 14: A lot of times, these fights and these battles, you
Speaker 14: gotta be your own coach, You gotta be your own motivator.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's the very people who know and imagine anything
Speaker 1: off who do the things that no one can imagine.
Speaker 4: It seems like my version of personal development requires me
Speaker 4: to fall into a hole or dig one and then
Speaker 4: I realize nobody's coming to rescue me, and I'm if
Speaker 4: I want to get out of the hole, I'm gonna
Speaker 4: need to build a freaking ladder.
Speaker 14: Everything about it is accountability, everything about it is self disciplined,
Speaker 14: everything about it is no one's gonna save you, no
Speaker 14: one's gonna come out of the woods and say, hey,
Speaker 14: I got your back.
Speaker 15: Man.
Speaker 2: I want to take you from all this shit.
Speaker 9: Taking responsibility for that, recognizing nobody's coming.
Speaker 5: To save you.
Speaker 16: If I disappear, like who cares? Nobody cares? Man, seriously, yo,
Speaker 16: And that's okay, that's life. Okay, no one else is
Speaker 16: going to save my life? Right if I just sit
Speaker 16: here and diddle around, Well, am I gonna have nothing?
Speaker 2: I gotta do something right trying to save a life
Speaker 2: flo down bede.
Speaker 19: You really find out who're in your corner. See anybody
Speaker 19: talk that loyal you shit when it's time to be loyal.
Speaker 19: Anybody disappeared?
Speaker 2: What would you do if you weren't afraid?
Speaker 9: And I just I love thinking about that when I'm
Speaker 9: thinking about big life decisions, like what would I do
Speaker 9: if I weren't afraid? And it's usually like the big one,
Speaker 9: the bigger thing that I really want to do, but
Speaker 9: I'm afraid to do it. It's like, that's what I
Speaker 9: should do.
Speaker 20: If you've been sitting around waiting for somebody to discover you,
Speaker 20: to pick you, to save you, to rescue, to give
Speaker 20: you your shot, it's not happening. Like at some point
Speaker 20: you got to wake up and realize when you're eighteen
Speaker 20: and you're out of that house, you have to parent yourself.
Speaker 4: Your life is your responsibility.
Speaker 2: I promise you guys.
Speaker 7: Success is the loneliest road out there as you and
Speaker 7: your shadow at the end, because it's too fucking hard.
Speaker 7: People don't want to be around you because you calls
Speaker 7: them to have brainstorming or the failures and shortcomings and
Speaker 7: how they could have been like you but they failed.
Speaker 2: And if you're a nice guy.
Speaker 7: That hates you even more because you're successful and nice,
Speaker 7: and then they hate themselves for hating you by just
Speaker 7: hating how they ran their life because they sold their
Speaker 7: soul early in life.
Speaker 2: Without pressure, there is no change.
Speaker 7: And if you can taminate yourself, that pressure will cause
Speaker 7: your worst fears to be not motivation, encouragement would be
Speaker 7: the demise of what your efforts and potential could be.
Speaker 21: You have to make that start. You have to separate
Speaker 21: yourself from the pack. You have to be willing to
Speaker 21: spend time with yourself. You have to be willing to
Speaker 21: start cutting things out of your nutritional program, eat healthy,
Speaker 21: you know, get enough rest of sleep. All of these
Speaker 21: things come into play of finding your purpose, and it's
Speaker 21: almost sacrificing. You have to sacrifice greater, the sacrifice greater
Speaker 21: than the reward. And when you go out and you
Speaker 21: don't do it anymore, it's very very clear that you've
Speaker 21: made the right decision because your friends will still be
Speaker 21: doing that and you'll find yourself that you don't fit
Speaker 21: in with that crowd anymore.
Speaker 6: Are you study being alone? That's where that's where you grow.
Speaker 6: That's where you learn yourself. That's where you learn what
Speaker 6: you like and what you don't like. That's where you
Speaker 6: learn what you're made on. That's where you can see,
Speaker 6: you know what your character is in solitude. That's what
Speaker 6: the growth.
Speaker 2: Happens for me.
Speaker 14: The worst way in life, the biggest for your life
Speaker 14: to fail, it is let motherfuckers know what you want
Speaker 14: to do.
Speaker 2: Never never let them know. So when I disappear, you
Speaker 2: know I'm doing something.
Speaker 11: You know doing something, you're hanging around with the wrong people.
Speaker 11: That knowing feeling when you realize you've outgrown your social
Speaker 11: circle isn't loneliness. It's your ambition finally speaking louder than
Speaker 11: your need to belong.
Speaker 7: That's why I go to gym for the sense of
Speaker 7: pride and confidence to nurse the garden, to make sure
Speaker 7: that soil always means fertile.
Speaker 2: That's what my love is.
Speaker 7: The byproduct of that has a good looking, you know,
Speaker 7: healthy lifestyle.
Speaker 2: You know, someone's in shape and everything else. But that's
Speaker 2: not what my goal is. That's not my vision, that's
Speaker 2: not my motivation.
Speaker 14: And he said, you cannot do this. But I got
Speaker 14: my truck, and I said to myself, but what if
Speaker 14: I could? What if I could pull off this miracle?
Speaker 14: How will I feel at the very end if I
Speaker 14: can defy all the odds.
Speaker 2: Hate it's coming to my home. I've always said, and
Speaker 2: I'm not wishing you.
Speaker 11: I just know.
Speaker 2: I just know reality in life.
Speaker 6: I don't care if anyone says and I'm going to
Speaker 6: work hard.
Speaker 2: I don't care about the haters. I'm gonna work harder.
Speaker 2: Which if I work harder, is going to need better results.
Speaker 2: Results give you motivations.
Speaker 6: Let's be honest. Your goals literally keep you from sleeping, bro,
Speaker 6: Like you be kind of scared to go to sleep
Speaker 6: cause you wanna keep doing more. Obviously it's unhealthy, but
Speaker 6: and it's gonna blow over. Motivation sways, bro, one day,
Speaker 6: you got it one day you don't. That's where the
Speaker 6: discipline comes in, and that's where it allows you to
Speaker 6: be consistent.