WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Listen up, babies, Life's not fair. You get no say

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<v Speaker 1>in the world you're born into. You don't decide your name.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't decide where you come from. You don't decide

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<v Speaker 1>if you have a place to call home or if

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<v Speaker 1>your whole family has to leave the country.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's messed up.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't decide how the world judges a person like you. You

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<v Speaker 1>don't decide how your story begins, but.

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<v Speaker 2>You do get to decide how it ends. It's alone. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>that's my darkness. That's why I'm laughing.

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<v Speaker 3>Think no mean you think you know me coming to

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<v Speaker 3>my Dungeoness, it's a lonely dungeon because you're wanting every day,

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<v Speaker 3>train this hard by yourself, hit it out.

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<v Speaker 4>The bottom line is, no one's coming no one. No

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<v Speaker 4>one's coming to push you. No one's coming to tell

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<v Speaker 4>you to turn the TV off. No one's coming to

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<v Speaker 4>tell you to get out the door and exercise. Nobody's

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<v Speaker 4>coming to tell you to apply for that job that

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<v Speaker 4>you've always dreamt about. Nobody's coming to write the business

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<v Speaker 4>plan for you.

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<v Speaker 5>It's up to you.

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<v Speaker 6>What did you said to the kid?

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<v Speaker 7>It eat about herd you hit, it's about hard.

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<v Speaker 4>You can get hit, keep moving forward, how much you

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<v Speaker 4>can take, keep moving heart, get up, let's.

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<v Speaker 2>Go get up.

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<v Speaker 8>Right.

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<v Speaker 6>If you're gonna do it, you don't have to do

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<v Speaker 6>it alone.

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<v Speaker 9>You don't think I got the guts to do it alone.

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<v Speaker 6>Okay, I'll show you.

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<v Speaker 2>It's wearing the pants.

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<v Speaker 10>Nobody cares about you is something that would never make

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<v Speaker 10>it clear to me. And I mean that in the

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<v Speaker 10>most positive, optimistic, inspiring, motivating way. You think that everybody's

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<v Speaker 10>paying attention, and because of that, it kind of controls

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<v Speaker 10>how you think. And the reality is nobody gives a shit,

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<v Speaker 10>nobody has time for you.

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<v Speaker 11>I don't care about being solitary. I don't care about

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<v Speaker 11>being on my own. I don't care about taking risks,

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<v Speaker 11>because for a very long time I was, in any

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<v Speaker 11>case on my own.

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<v Speaker 4>I found myself in a place that I just never

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<v Speaker 4>envisioned I would be. I would wake up every morning

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<v Speaker 4>just pinned to the bed with anxiety, and I became

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<v Speaker 4>somebody that I barely recognized. The thing that's interesting about

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<v Speaker 4>being stuck in life is that the fact is you

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<v Speaker 4>know what you need to do. That's the easy part.

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<v Speaker 4>It's the how how the do you make yourself do

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<v Speaker 4>what you need to do when you are scared or

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<v Speaker 4>overwhelmed or anxious or hopeless or depressed or any of

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<v Speaker 4>the stuff that happens to you as a human. That's

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<v Speaker 4>the one hundred million dollar question.

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<v Speaker 12>So after that five, when I lost, and I'm looking

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<v Speaker 12>at all these people and they're all celebrating my demise

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<v Speaker 12>and saying I'm done and this, and it certainly lit

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<v Speaker 12>a fire under my belly. Every single person dealt with me,

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<v Speaker 12>every single fire, deal with me.

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<v Speaker 2>Doubt me. Now, you only got one life, guys.

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<v Speaker 13>Again, if you work it right, you only need one.

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<v Speaker 2>If you choose to spass, you do it alone. Nobody owns, nobody, nothing,

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<v Speaker 2>you owe yourself.

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<v Speaker 14>No one's coming back to help me. So it starts

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<v Speaker 14>with that person in that mirror. You have to realize

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<v Speaker 14>you are on your own now. And whatever else you

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<v Speaker 14>believe in, I don't care what you believe in. But

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<v Speaker 14>on earth it's a very lonely journey.

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<v Speaker 11>The ball for excellence has never been so low. Most

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<v Speaker 11>of your competition quits after the first sign of difficulty

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<v Speaker 11>because they've never known what hard feels like. If it's

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<v Speaker 11>hard for you, it's hard for everyone, and most people

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<v Speaker 11>avoid hard things, which is why you can beat most

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<v Speaker 11>people by just trying.

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<v Speaker 8>That's lonely man, just like being his only car out

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<v Speaker 8>in the parking lot.

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<v Speaker 13>But if you're cool with that, man, if you're cool

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<v Speaker 13>with walking in the shadows of yourself and you know,

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<v Speaker 13>the only person you got a man right there in

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<v Speaker 13>the shadow. Man, How you doing pretty good?

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<v Speaker 11>How you doing all right?

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<v Speaker 6>Man?

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<v Speaker 2>Cool?

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<v Speaker 14>Cool?

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<v Speaker 13>It's kind of weird having a conversation with you but

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<v Speaker 13>anyone else around, because everyone else has faded way back then,

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<v Speaker 13>way back there. You know, if you're cool with that

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<v Speaker 13>kind of walk of life.

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<v Speaker 8>I tell you, man, the world is your playground.

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<v Speaker 2>You will rewrite the book on it all.

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<v Speaker 6>Tom go home and.

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<v Speaker 8>Get some sleep, and sleep might get by the way

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<v Speaker 8>I've earned, I'll be dead asleep.

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<v Speaker 7>In no time.

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<v Speaker 15>The one companion that's always going to be with you

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<v Speaker 15>is yourself. And I think the first thing you have

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<v Speaker 15>to do. I think the first thing we have to

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<v Speaker 15>do is we have to get ourselves to the point

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<v Speaker 15>where we don't necessarily need a companion. We don't want

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<v Speaker 15>to be left alone by ourself with ourselfs. So we

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<v Speaker 15>come in and we sit down and we get on

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<v Speaker 15>our phone, or we turn on the TV, or or

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<v Speaker 15>we go wherever, we do whatever, because we don't want

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<v Speaker 15>to face the reality of being by ourself with ourself.

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<v Speaker 15>Start making yourself a companion that you're comfortable with, and

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<v Speaker 15>become comfortable in your own skin.

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<v Speaker 11>You're not having a bad yo. You've had a few

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<v Speaker 11>bad days that you're thinking about for the rest of

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<v Speaker 11>the year. I've found it helpful when I'm in a

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<v Speaker 11>bad season, like I'm in right now, to just focus

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<v Speaker 11>on having a good day. A good day and a

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<v Speaker 11>bad season is a bite sized victory string. A few

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<v Speaker 11>of those in a row. Bad season feels less hard.

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<v Speaker 11>I'm pretty sure the difference between a happy life and

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<v Speaker 11>an unhappy one doesn't come down to how many good

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<v Speaker 11>or bad days you have, but which days you think

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<v Speaker 11>about over and over again. In some seasons of life,

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<v Speaker 11>maintaining is winning.

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<v Speaker 2>I just have bad news for everybody.

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<v Speaker 16>Nobody cares that you don't have time to practice.

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<v Speaker 5>Nobody cares how you grow up with money, nobody cares

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<v Speaker 5>who you came from, bad neighborhood, nobody cares about your problems.

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<v Speaker 17>No one is going to save you. We can't do

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<v Speaker 17>this for you. This journey predominantly must come from you.

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<v Speaker 17>It's not what other people think.

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<v Speaker 2>It's your light.

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<v Speaker 3>What if it's your light, you gotta be willing to

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<v Speaker 3>pay the vice.

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<v Speaker 2>I knew that no one would come back to help me.

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<v Speaker 2>No one's going to mirror called me to be somebody special.

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<v Speaker 14>Everybody that call me my gair, my mom, all my

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<v Speaker 14>situations were on me.

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<v Speaker 2>Now it's somebody on me.

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<v Speaker 4>You have to take your own responsibility.

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<v Speaker 2>No one's going to save you. You have to do it.

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<v Speaker 2>Should I go back?

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<v Speaker 11>Should I lean back into getting a bag in with

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<v Speaker 11>the boys on a weekend? Is that the highest, you know,

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<v Speaker 11>way that I can live my life?

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<v Speaker 2>Passion forward?

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<v Speaker 11>Because that's what everybody else does. And all of my

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<v Speaker 11>friends are taking the piss. Oh not drinking again? Too

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<v Speaker 11>good for us? Are we not going out again this week?

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<v Speaker 17>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay?

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<v Speaker 11>Well, like enjoy staying in home and reading fucking nerd.

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<v Speaker 11>So you're going to feel the pain of being ostracized

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<v Speaker 11>from the group of friends that you used to have.

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<v Speaker 11>But you're stuck in this messy middle where you haven't

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<v Speaker 11>yet worked out who you are on the other side

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<v Speaker 11>of this, And that lonely chapter that's in the middle

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<v Speaker 11>is something that I would say almost nobody that I've

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<v Speaker 11>ever met who has gone from a place where they

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<v Speaker 11>are to a place where they want to be hasn't

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<v Speaker 11>gone through.

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<v Speaker 8>The small steps in between the big successes that everyone sees.

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<v Speaker 2>No one sees this right now.

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<v Speaker 8>I'm saying, like.

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<v Speaker 16>There's a confidence to her man, there is a bad mother.

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<v Speaker 8>It's the moments in life, the decisions you make on

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<v Speaker 8>a moment to moment basis to.

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<v Speaker 2>Add up to be the guy or not the guy.

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<v Speaker 2>Tonight I did something, you know, I feel.

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<v Speaker 13>More of a guy for me who I am my guy.

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<v Speaker 11>I think about the gap from where people are in

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<v Speaker 11>a place that they don't want to be until they

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<v Speaker 11>get to a place that they do. And I think

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<v Speaker 11>of it like a lonely chapter. Everybody that has got

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<v Speaker 11>from a place where they don't want to be to

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<v Speaker 11>one where they are. There's a point where they they're

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<v Speaker 11>so different that they can't resonate with their old set

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<v Speaker 11>of friends, but they're not yet sufficiently developed that they've

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<v Speaker 11>created their new set of friends. And there's this temptation

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<v Speaker 11>to go back to the old patterns, the old ways

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<v Speaker 11>of thinking. If you want to go from where you

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<v Speaker 11>are to where you want to be, you're going to

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<v Speaker 11>have to do something that makes you more different, more weird,

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<v Speaker 11>more easy to be mocked.

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<v Speaker 2>There is no.

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<v Speaker 11>Support around you, and there is this temptation to go

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<v Speaker 11>back to your old ways of thinking, go back to

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<v Speaker 11>the road that you already know how it's going to end.

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<v Speaker 5>Spending time alone is the only place where you get

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<v Speaker 5>to have these conversations. And most of us are spending

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<v Speaker 5>time away from being alone because we're scared of having

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<v Speaker 5>these conversations. We struggle so much with the idea of

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<v Speaker 5>being present in our own minds and bodies and hearts

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<v Speaker 5>that we distract ourselves. So really the habit is being

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<v Speaker 5>present with myself, with my thoughts and working through when

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<v Speaker 5>I'm happy with myself and when I think I could

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<v Speaker 5>have done better.

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<v Speaker 14>I don't respect whole bunch of people, but the few

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<v Speaker 14>that I did respect are the people who were uncommon

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<v Speaker 14>amongst uncommon people.

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<v Speaker 2>And what that means is those people who aren't afraid

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<v Speaker 2>of standing alone. The thing is, man, it's always going

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<v Speaker 2>to be a party.

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<v Speaker 8>It's always going to be a time to celebrate and

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<v Speaker 8>at the time to join friends or data. I mean,

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<v Speaker 8>the bars are always open, always open about how old

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<v Speaker 8>you are, they're always open. You know what's au is

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<v Speaker 8>open as the opportunity to check the box in life,

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<v Speaker 8>you know, how to achieve your dreams.

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<v Speaker 13>That's not always open mind.

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<v Speaker 2>That's right here. You know that it's getting ahead of

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<v Speaker 2>the competition.

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<v Speaker 8>Is an overwhelming sense of fulfillment and pride and satisfaction

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<v Speaker 8>with that.

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<v Speaker 9>If you're going through that right now, and I promise you,

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<v Speaker 9>every single person who wants to do something with their

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<v Speaker 9>life and has done something with their life has gone

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<v Speaker 9>through the exact chapter that you're going through.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's the lonely chapter.

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<v Speaker 9>It's the chapter where you're you don't fit in with

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<v Speaker 9>your own friends, but you don't have the outcomes yet

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<v Speaker 9>to fit into a new group of friends. And you're

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<v Speaker 9>doing this thing. You're consuming content on the internet. You're

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<v Speaker 9>you're doing these free tutorials online to try and figure

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<v Speaker 9>out how to set up a podcast and what do

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<v Speaker 9>I host this thing?

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<v Speaker 2>And then and you're going through this and you're like,

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<v Speaker 2>am I is this even worth it?

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<v Speaker 9>Because you have no signs of success right But if

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<v Speaker 9>there's anything that you can take away from what we're

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<v Speaker 9>saying right now, is that the sign of success.

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<v Speaker 2>Is the hate that you get along the way.

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<v Speaker 14>We don't have any quiet time with ourselves to sit

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<v Speaker 14>back and say what do I really want?

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<v Speaker 2>There's so many different dialogues in our head that we

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<v Speaker 2>can't think. So my biggest thing is you.

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<v Speaker 14>Have to be alone in a very dark place in

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<v Speaker 14>your mind to think about what is important to you.

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<v Speaker 2>You always have to be the person who roots for

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<v Speaker 2>you before everyone else does.

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<v Speaker 9>And it's usually a single clap in the auditorium for

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<v Speaker 9>a very long period of time.

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<v Speaker 2>It is a slow clap that's just you rooting for you.

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<v Speaker 9>People struggle to do things alone, and the path of

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<v Speaker 9>the exceptional person is one of an exception, which means

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<v Speaker 9>that you are not with other people, and rather than

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<v Speaker 9>fighting that or bemoaning it, see it as an indicator

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<v Speaker 9>that you're on the right path, because if everyone else

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<v Speaker 9>worre cheering you on, then it means you're not in

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<v Speaker 9>the right place, because it means you're just like everyone

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<v Speaker 9>else and that's not where you want to be.

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<v Speaker 14>That starts with the accountability mirror of looking at saying, hey,

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<v Speaker 14>my daddy beat the he's not coming back.

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<v Speaker 2>All these things are coming back.

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<v Speaker 14>I have to face myself and you have to own

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<v Speaker 14>all those things that people may have done to you.

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<v Speaker 2>Now it's yours.

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<v Speaker 3>You got to own it.

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<v Speaker 14>It's yours now to fix the problems that people did

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<v Speaker 14>to you. It makes no sense, it's not fair.

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<v Speaker 2>I get it. But if you live in that will

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<v Speaker 2>was me mentality of guess.

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<v Speaker 14>What my dad did this to me? My mom just

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<v Speaker 14>did to me. People who bully did this to me.

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<v Speaker 2>You're going to always live right there.

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<v Speaker 17>You know, if you're going to create anything of value

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<v Speaker 17>in this life, you're going to even if it's with

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<v Speaker 17>other people, You're going to have to be willing to

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<v Speaker 17>be on.

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<v Speaker 10>Your own for a bit, to forage on your own,

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<v Speaker 10>to take walks alone.

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<v Speaker 2>This isn't for the masses.

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<v Speaker 18>This is for those who they go behind, those who

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<v Speaker 18>are a source of new rail.

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<v Speaker 17>It's a lonely journey.

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<v Speaker 18>You're isolated. Those who used to keep patience will fall off.

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<v Speaker 18>'s see what that rud is and yours begins. Your

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<v Speaker 18>billion suffered endor at work must be traiter. You must

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<v Speaker 18>be willing to stand just up to limit no care

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<v Speaker 18>to your success. Every day you must ask yourself, did

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<v Speaker 18>I do it enough?

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<v Speaker 4>And because you're only ever going to do the things

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<v Speaker 4>that you feel like doing, right now, or that feel

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<v Speaker 4>good right now, unless you understand that you've got to

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<v Speaker 4>parrot yourself. You got to push yourself. You're not going

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<v Speaker 4>to make your dreams come true. You're just not We're

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<v Speaker 4>not wired that way. You weren't born that way. You

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<v Speaker 4>weren't that way when you were going up, and you're

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<v Speaker 4>certainly not that way as an adult. And there's a

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<v Speaker 4>tremendous amount of liberation that comes when you accept the

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<v Speaker 4>fact that you're always going to need to give yourself

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<v Speaker 4>a push.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, learn to pick yourself up on your own.

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<v Speaker 14>A lot of times, these fights and these battles, you

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<v Speaker 14>gotta be your own coach, You gotta be your own motivator.

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<v Speaker 1>Sometimes it's the very people who know and imagine anything

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<v Speaker 1>off who do the things that no one can imagine.

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<v Speaker 4>It seems like my version of personal development requires me

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<v Speaker 4>to fall into a hole or dig one and then

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<v Speaker 4>I realize nobody's coming to rescue me, and I'm if

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<v Speaker 4>I want to get out of the hole, I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 4>need to build a freaking ladder.

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<v Speaker 14>Everything about it is accountability, everything about it is self disciplined,

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<v Speaker 14>everything about it is no one's gonna save you, no

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<v Speaker 14>one's gonna come out of the woods and say, hey,

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<v Speaker 14>I got your back.

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<v Speaker 15>Man.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to take you from all this shit.

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<v Speaker 9>Taking responsibility for that, recognizing nobody's coming.

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<v Speaker 5>To save you.

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<v Speaker 16>If I disappear, like who cares? Nobody cares? Man, seriously, yo,

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<v Speaker 16>And that's okay, that's life. Okay, no one else is

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<v Speaker 16>going to save my life? Right if I just sit

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<v Speaker 16>here and diddle around, Well, am I gonna have nothing?

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<v Speaker 2>I gotta do something right trying to save a life

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<v Speaker 2>flo down bede.

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<v Speaker 19>You really find out who're in your corner. See anybody

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<v Speaker 19>talk that loyal you shit when it's time to be loyal.

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<v Speaker 19>Anybody disappeared?

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<v Speaker 2>What would you do if you weren't afraid?

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<v Speaker 9>And I just I love thinking about that when I'm

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<v Speaker 9>thinking about big life decisions, like what would I do

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<v Speaker 9>if I weren't afraid? And it's usually like the big one,

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<v Speaker 9>the bigger thing that I really want to do, but

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<v Speaker 9>I'm afraid to do it. It's like, that's what I

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<v Speaker 9>should do.

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<v Speaker 20>If you've been sitting around waiting for somebody to discover you,

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<v Speaker 20>to pick you, to save you, to rescue, to give

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<v Speaker 20>you your shot, it's not happening. Like at some point

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<v Speaker 20>you got to wake up and realize when you're eighteen

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<v Speaker 20>and you're out of that house, you have to parent yourself.

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<v Speaker 4>Your life is your responsibility.

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<v Speaker 2>I promise you guys.

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<v Speaker 7>Success is the loneliest road out there as you and

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<v Speaker 7>your shadow at the end, because it's too fucking hard.

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<v Speaker 7>People don't want to be around you because you calls

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<v Speaker 7>them to have brainstorming or the failures and shortcomings and

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<v Speaker 7>how they could have been like you but they failed.

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<v Speaker 2>And if you're a nice guy.

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<v Speaker 7>That hates you even more because you're successful and nice,

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<v Speaker 7>and then they hate themselves for hating you by just

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<v Speaker 7>hating how they ran their life because they sold their

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<v Speaker 7>soul early in life.

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<v Speaker 2>Without pressure, there is no change.

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<v Speaker 7>And if you can taminate yourself, that pressure will cause

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<v Speaker 7>your worst fears to be not motivation, encouragement would be

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<v Speaker 7>the demise of what your efforts and potential could be.

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<v Speaker 21>You have to make that start. You have to separate

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<v Speaker 21>yourself from the pack. You have to be willing to

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<v Speaker 21>spend time with yourself. You have to be willing to

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<v Speaker 21>start cutting things out of your nutritional program, eat healthy,

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<v Speaker 21>you know, get enough rest of sleep. All of these

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<v Speaker 21>things come into play of finding your purpose, and it's

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<v Speaker 21>almost sacrificing. You have to sacrifice greater, the sacrifice greater

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<v Speaker 21>than the reward. And when you go out and you

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<v Speaker 21>don't do it anymore, it's very very clear that you've

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<v Speaker 21>made the right decision because your friends will still be

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<v Speaker 21>doing that and you'll find yourself that you don't fit

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<v Speaker 21>in with that crowd anymore.

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<v Speaker 6>Are you study being alone? That's where that's where you grow.

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<v Speaker 6>That's where you learn yourself. That's where you learn what

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<v Speaker 6>you like and what you don't like. That's where you

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<v Speaker 6>learn what you're made on. That's where you can see,

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<v Speaker 6>you know what your character is in solitude. That's what

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<v Speaker 6>the growth.

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<v Speaker 2>Happens for me.

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<v Speaker 14>The worst way in life, the biggest for your life

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<v Speaker 14>to fail, it is let motherfuckers know what you want

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<v Speaker 14>to do.

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<v Speaker 2>Never never let them know. So when I disappear, you

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<v Speaker 2>know I'm doing something.

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<v Speaker 11>You know doing something, you're hanging around with the wrong people.

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<v Speaker 11>That knowing feeling when you realize you've outgrown your social

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<v Speaker 11>circle isn't loneliness. It's your ambition finally speaking louder than

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<v Speaker 11>your need to belong.

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<v Speaker 7>That's why I go to gym for the sense of

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<v Speaker 7>pride and confidence to nurse the garden, to make sure

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<v Speaker 7>that soil always means fertile.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what my love is.

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<v Speaker 7>The byproduct of that has a good looking, you know,

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<v Speaker 7>healthy lifestyle.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, someone's in shape and everything else. But that's

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<v Speaker 2>not what my goal is. That's not my vision, that's

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<v Speaker 2>not my motivation.

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<v Speaker 14>And he said, you cannot do this. But I got

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<v Speaker 14>my truck, and I said to myself, but what if

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<v Speaker 14>I could? What if I could pull off this miracle?

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<v Speaker 14>How will I feel at the very end if I

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<v Speaker 14>can defy all the odds.

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<v Speaker 2>Hate it's coming to my home. I've always said, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not wishing you.

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<v Speaker 11>I just know.

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<v Speaker 2>I just know reality in life.

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<v Speaker 6>I don't care if anyone says and I'm going to

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<v Speaker 6>work hard.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't care about the haters. I'm gonna work harder.

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<v Speaker 2>Which if I work harder, is going to need better results.

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<v Speaker 2>Results give you motivations.

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<v Speaker 6>Let's be honest. Your goals literally keep you from sleeping, bro,

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<v Speaker 6>Like you be kind of scared to go to sleep

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<v Speaker 6>cause you wanna keep doing more. Obviously it's unhealthy, but

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<v Speaker 6>and it's gonna blow over. Motivation sways, bro, one day,

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<v Speaker 6>you got it one day you don't. That's where the

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<v Speaker 6>discipline comes in, and that's where it allows you to

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<v Speaker 6>be consistent.