Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to grief. Let's make sense of this shit.
Speaker 1: Today we focus on a five minute practice for making
Speaker 1: space for tears. This short practice fits into a busy
Speaker 1: grief day because it carves out a contained window without
Speaker 1: asking you to clear your whole schedule. No special setup
Speaker 1: or prior experience is required at all. You can start
Speaker 1: from wherever you are right now. Shift your position until
Speaker 1: it feels steady enough for these next minutes. Let your
Speaker 1: shoulders ease down if that helps. Your hands can rest
Speaker 1: in your lap or by your sides. Nothing about this
Speaker 1: needs to look a certain way. The practice ahead stays
Speaker 1: straightforward on purpose. It simply offers tiers a place to
Speaker 1: arrive without extra demands or explanations. Grief days often fill
Speaker 1: quickly with tasks and distractions, so these five minutes create
Speaker 1: one small opening that belongs only to you. You bring
Speaker 1: nothing beyond your presence to it. As you settle in,
Speaker 1: we will move into the prect together. Let your attention
Speaker 1: rest lightly on how your body feels in this moment.
Speaker 1: Find a comfortable spot where you can sit or lie
Speaker 1: down without needing to move for the next few minutes.
Speaker 1: Once you are settled, allow your body to rest against
Speaker 1: the surface beneath you. Set a timer for five minutes
Speaker 1: so you do not have to keep track of time yourself.
Speaker 1: Begin by softening the muscles in your face and jaw,
Speaker 1: Let your shoulders drop a little lower, and let your
Speaker 1: hands rest wherever they feel natural. Notice any places where
Speaker 1: you still feel tension, and see if you can release
Speaker 1: a small amount of that tightness without forcing anything. As
Speaker 1: you stay here, turn your attention toward the urge to cry.
Speaker 1: If it is present. You do not have to make
Speaker 1: tears come, and you do not have to hold them back.
Speaker 1: Simply notice the sensation in your chest or throat and
Speaker 1: let it be there. Breathe in a gentle rhythm that
Speaker 1: feels steady rather than deep. Each breath can move at
Speaker 1: its own pace while you keep some awareness on the
Speaker 1: feeling that wants to surface. If a thought appears that
Speaker 1: says you should stop, or that this is taking too long,
Speaker 1: you can try one of two short phrases in your mind.
Speaker 1: The first is this sensation belongs here for now. The
Speaker 1: second is I can stay with this without changing it.
Speaker 1: Use whichever one fits, or use neither. If the moment
Speaker 1: does not call for words, continue letting the breath move
Speaker 1: while you observe what happens with the urge. Tears may
Speaker 1: arrive or they may stay quiet. Either outcome is part
Speaker 1: of the same practice. Keep returning to the softness in
Speaker 1: your body each time your attention drifts. When the timer
Speaker 1: signals the end, keep your eyes closed for a little longer.
Speaker 1: Move your attention slowly around the room by noticing any
Speaker 1: sounds that reach you. Feel the weight of your body
Speaker 1: once more against the surface you chose. Then bring a
Speaker 1: brief check to your shoulders, your jaw, and your hands
Speaker 1: to see whether they have stayed soft or tightened again.
Speaker 1: This sequence works because the simple act of staying present
Speaker 1: with the urge allows the nervous system to complete a
Speaker 1: small cycle of tension and release. By removing the pressure
Speaker 1: to produce tears or to suppress them, the body receives
Speaker 1: permission to follow its own timing. The timer creates a
Speaker 1: clear boundary, so the mind does not have to decide
Speaker 1: when the moment should finish. The gentle breath keeps oxygen
Speaker 1: flowing steadily, which supports the parasympathetic response that often follows
Speaker 1: after strong emotion. Has been acknowledged. Because the practice lasts
Speaker 1: only five minutes, it stays short enough that most people
Speaker 1: can return to daily tasks afterward without feeling overwhelmed. The
Speaker 1: two silent phrases serve as anchors when judgment shows up
Speaker 1: because they redirect attention back to the present sensation instead
Speaker 1: of into a story about what the feeling means. A
Speaker 1: slow return to the room helps the mind register that
Speaker 1: the practice has ended, so the body does not remain
Speaker 1: in a state of focused inward attention. The final body
Speaker 1: check reinforces the softening that began at the start and
Speaker 1: gives a concrete way to notice any shifts that occurred
Speaker 1: during the minutes. Over time, these steps together train a
Speaker 1: steadier response to the waves that grief brings, because each
Speaker 1: repetition strengthens the ability to remain with sensation without adding
Speaker 1: extra layers of resistance. Research from William Frye at the
Speaker 1: University of Minnesota in his book Crying the Mystery of
Speaker 1: Tears from nineteen eighty five, points out that tears can
Speaker 1: carry stress hormones out of the body. This process happens
Speaker 1: when the body releases what it has been holding during
Speaker 1: moments of release, because the practice you just moved through
Speaker 1: creates space for that release. In a short stretch of time.
Speaker 1: It gives your system a chance to let some of
Speaker 1: that tension move rather than staying stored. The thing is
Speaker 1: that setting aside this window means the urge does not
Speaker 1: have to fight for attention all through the rest of
Speaker 1: your day. Instead of pushing the feeling down while you
Speaker 1: handle other things, you allow it a contained place. That
Speaker 1: shift can ease the constant effort of holding back, which
Speaker 1: often adds extra strain on top of what grief already brings.
Speaker 1: In other words, the body does not stay in the
Speaker 1: same state of alert when it knows there will be
Speaker 1: time later or now to let tears come. This approach
Speaker 1: links directly to lower overall physiological tension during grief, because
Speaker 1: the practice reduces the pressure to suppress emotions every hour.
Speaker 1: You can return to this same sequence whenever it fits
Speaker 1: into your schedule again. You can return to this same
Speaker 1: practice whenever the urge to cry shows up on its own.
Speaker 1: Because the window stays flexible, you might try it on
Speaker 1: a day when tears sit close to the surface, yet
Speaker 1: other demands keep pulling at your attention. The five minutes
Speaker 1: remain optional, so you can shorten them if time feels tight,
Speaker 1: or extend them if the body asks for more room.
Speaker 1: Instead of forcing a schedule, you simply notice whether the
Speaker 1: body or mood registers even a small shift. Afterward, that
Speaker 1: quiet check often reveals whether the rest of the day
Speaker 1: moves with a bit less pressure. While the practice itself
Speaker 1: stays simple, its value grows from repetition on your own terms,
Speaker 1: rather than from any fixed length. If this podcast helps
Speaker 1: you make sense of your grief, join our supporters club
Speaker 1: and help us keep these conversations going. You will find
Speaker 1: the link in the episode description. The link sits right
Speaker 1: there whenever you are ready to look. Since each time
Speaker 1: you set aside the space, the body learns it does
Speaker 1: not have to carry everything alone. The choice stays yours
Speaker 1: to repeat or adjust as needed.