Speaker 1: Paul, I sit here before you on the first awesome
Speaker 1: day of the year. We are recording this on a
Speaker 1: day where New York City is It's seventy five.
Speaker 2: Degrees, seventy five beautiful degrees.
Speaker 1: It's sunny, it's breezy, and it is hot, boy, summer.
Speaker 1: I took a car down here, the entire West Side Highway,
Speaker 1: like that whole promenade, that area where people jog and run.
Speaker 1: It was just hot dude after a hot dude, after
Speaker 1: a hot dude with no shirt on, listening in the sun.
Speaker 2: It is springtime fleet week.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's so hot. It's so good. Even
Speaker 1: then when you get into Brooklyn, you cross the bridge
Speaker 1: of the tunnel, you get into Brooklyn and like all
Speaker 1: there's just dudes like sitting outside with no shirts ony
Speaker 1: and like, I don't mean to be like a one
Speaker 1: gender person here because those ladies. Those ladies are showing
Speaker 1: it off too. There are sun dresses, there are shorty shorts.
Speaker 1: It is such a good time to be alive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just a great time to ogle, stranger.
Speaker 1: It is the best day of the year. Every One
Speaker 1: is in a good mood.
Speaker 2: Everyone's in a good mood. Everyone has like an ice
Speaker 2: coffee or an ice cream or like a croissant.
Speaker 1: I drove past what might have been a Nazi rally
Speaker 1: and no one cares. No one cared.
Speaker 2: Honestly, the fact these days that we can even say
Speaker 2: might be yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't know what they have. Definitely I saw a
Speaker 1: group gathering and there were flags, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't care. This is this can't be good.
Speaker 2: I'm not looking at it, and I'm not looking at it.
Speaker 2: I'm looking at that those eighteen abbs that are running
Speaker 2: past right now.
Speaker 1: Such a day.
Speaker 2: Thanks Jean Mark.
Speaker 1: Hey, I'm Paul and America and this is that aged
Speaker 1: well yesterday's pop culture today.
Speaker 2: And we are doing spy movie.
Speaker 1: May dunt Donna, dunt Donna.
Speaker 2: Boom boom boom boom okay Erica before we get to this,
Speaker 2: before this mystery is solved to what movie we're doing,
Speaker 2: This movie has.
Speaker 1: The greatest song of all time, Like, genuinely, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: jump ahead. Genuinely, I even if I hated this movie,
Speaker 1: I would have loved it just because it opens with.
Speaker 2: We do have a couple of Apple podcast reviews. Do
Speaker 2: you want to read the first one? Sure?
Speaker 1: The first review comes from Abby Rue and they write
Speaker 1: canonical no notes. J Cray stole my review.
Speaker 2: I think that is referencing another review that just wrote
Speaker 2: no notes excellent. Yeah, which I believe was your request, right.
Speaker 2: This is another person you might owe something to.
Speaker 1: Oh, I requested that one just write no notes.
Speaker 2: I think so okay.
Speaker 1: Well again, if you guys, if I owe you stuff,
Speaker 1: just email us. I'll pay up.
Speaker 2: I'm good. She's good for it. She's good for it. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: We also got a review from mention dot dot dot.
Speaker 2: They write, I love it particularly when I don't have
Speaker 2: the energy to watch a movie.
Speaker 1: I feel that so deep in my bone.
Speaker 2: Truly. I watch so much more TV than I watch
Speaker 2: movies now because of this podcast, because all of my
Speaker 2: movie energy goes to the podcast. Movies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can do you one step worse. I've started
Speaker 1: just watching like YouTube things at night because I don't
Speaker 1: have the mental energy for a television show to.
Speaker 2: Commit to twenty five minutes.
Speaker 1: Commit to it twenty five to an hour long show.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I'm gonna watch a fifteen minute like
Speaker 1: YouTube clip where like Tricksy and Katia do some nonsense.
Speaker 1: That's all I have the energy for.
Speaker 2: Ten I've reached the end of hot ones.
Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no, no, hot ones are like thirty
Speaker 1: minutes long now they're too long, too long, even fucking
Speaker 1: hot ones at two hot ones.
Speaker 2: So mention Ellipsis goes on. Erica and Paul are smart, observant, fair,
Speaker 2: and above all hilarious. Speaking as an elder, some say
Speaker 2: geriatric millennial who finds myself often adrift in the sea
Speaker 2: of twenty something podcasters who trade in pop cultural references
Speaker 2: that mean nothing to me. Ouch, it's so great to
Speaker 2: revisit these movies from my distant youth and feel seen
Speaker 2: both in share memories and grumpiness. Is that is a
Speaker 2: good feel seen by our grumpiness. We do get grumpy sometimes,
Speaker 2: that's true. Yeah. Yeah. It's also one of the few
Speaker 2: movie podcasts that my wife enjoys. So it also brings
Speaker 2: people together. That's important. We are we are healing marriages
Speaker 2: of this podcast. We are keeping the American family, the
Speaker 2: new American nuclear family together.
Speaker 1: We are family values.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we are.
Speaker 1: If nothing else, we are definitely family values.
Speaker 2: Mention dot dot Dot finishes with I also want that
Speaker 2: tote bag.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, because you earned it.
Speaker 2: You earned it, You.
Speaker 1: Earned it, and your fa you know what family values
Speaker 1: is about. Tote bags? Bag tote bags to the farmer's market.
Speaker 2: Truly, truly, all right, so Abby Rue mentioned dot dot dot.
Speaker 2: If and when you hear these you read, please reach
Speaker 2: out tell us it's you. I will happily send the
Speaker 2: tote bags that you have earned with these reviews. Erica,
Speaker 2: what is the first spy movie on the docket for May?
Speaker 1: Today's film is the nineteen ninety six actions by thriller
Speaker 1: Mission Impossible.
Speaker 2: This was requested by Sophie, Mike, Josephine, Meg and Barry
Speaker 2: also me also you.
Speaker 1: Also fully me Yeah.
Speaker 2: Mission Impossible was written by David Cupp and Robert Town.
Speaker 2: It was based on the television series of the same name.
Speaker 2: It was directed by Brian De Palma and stars Tom Cruise,
Speaker 2: John Voight, Henry Cherney, Emmanuel I Apologize Bayer something like that, yep,
Speaker 2: Genrenau Ving Raim's Kristin, Scott Thomas and Vanessa Redgraves.
Speaker 1: Vanessa Redgrave just killing it, just.
Speaker 2: Fucking up the joint by breathing the same air as
Speaker 2: this movie.
Speaker 1: Oh what a goddess, What a goddess. Allegedly, the original
Speaker 1: script brought back all cast members of the Mission Impossible
Speaker 1: television series and then killed them off in the first act.
Speaker 1: The entire cast refused to participate. They're like, uh no, no.
Speaker 2: Fuck you, fuck off, fuck off, Brian to Palmer. I
Speaker 2: get that though, like if you if that's I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know who was in the Mission Impossible TV series,
Speaker 2: but the fact that I don't know makes me think that,
Speaker 2: at least for many of them, perhaps it was their
Speaker 2: signature role and they didn't want it that role to
Speaker 2: be brutally murdered.
Speaker 1: Fair enough. Imagine if I like reached out to the
Speaker 1: cast of Cheers and I was like, Hey, I'm going
Speaker 1: to do a reunion, but here's a twist.
Speaker 2: There's a twist.
Speaker 1: You all die in it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, except for one of you. Who turns bad?
Speaker 1: Who turns bad?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Who would turn bad? In Cheers?
Speaker 2: Lilith?
Speaker 1: Oh No, she's already bad.
Speaker 2: I think you know what it is.
Speaker 1: It's got to be woody, right, I've gotta be witty.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say Cliff would accidentally get turned. He
Speaker 2: wouldn't know it.
Speaker 1: He wouldn't know it.
Speaker 2: He wouldn't know it.
Speaker 1: Norm never Norm mention.
Speaker 2: Solid all right, Mission Impossible. Erica is the only film
Speaker 2: in the franchise to do the trademark mask polls with
Speaker 2: entirely practical effects. It is the only film in the
Speaker 2: franchise in which Ethan Hunt does not fire a gun,
Speaker 2: and it is the last motion picture from a major
Speaker 2: studio to be released on Beta Max video cassette.
Speaker 1: That last one really because I genuinely there's like a
Speaker 1: Beta Max moment in the movie and I was like,
Speaker 1: the fuck is that technology? So I'm really glad you
Speaker 1: mentioned that. Okay, couple of things. The ripping face off
Speaker 1: is enjoyable one hundred percent of the time. It worked
Speaker 1: on me every time I knew it was Tom Cruise.
Speaker 1: He's a I think he's a very good actor, but
Speaker 1: he's not a blends into the back. He's not exactly
Speaker 1: He's not a Daniel day Lewis, Like is that him?
Speaker 1: Or is that actually Abraham Lincoln? Like no, he's one
Speaker 1: of those. And so like, you know, it's him playing
Speaker 1: the elderly senator and you're like, he's gonna take his
Speaker 1: face off, take his face off.
Speaker 2: Eric, I'm getting the hint that you had a good
Speaker 2: time with this. Love this movie.
Speaker 1: The gun thing is also excellent and fascinating and I
Speaker 1: did not notice it until you mentioned it now. But
Speaker 1: you're absolutely right. Not a single not a single well gun.
Speaker 2: It's like guns are fired. I think they say, like
Speaker 2: six shots are fired in the movie. Yeah, but none
Speaker 2: of them by Ethan Hunt.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. Yeah, okay, this, uh, gird your loins. Gird
Speaker 1: your loins, people, because there's some there's some nonsense about
Speaker 1: to happen. This film has a sixty five percent critical
Speaker 1: rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a seventy one percent audience score.
Speaker 1: Is love Dead, what happened?
Speaker 2: Not in this house?
Speaker 1: Who hurt you?
Speaker 2: Critics?
Speaker 1: Who hurt you?
Speaker 2: I love how much you love this movie.
Speaker 1: Love this movie.
Speaker 2: I'm like indifferent to positive on it, Like I don't
Speaker 2: really care.
Speaker 1: It's so good there is Look, there is a fucking
Speaker 1: helicopter in the channel? What what there is? Vanessa red Crave.
Speaker 2: When I saw that helicopter in the channel, I like,
Speaker 2: like the sun rising in the east. I felt Erica's
Speaker 2: Lady Boner move the continental like plate. I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is an Erica movie.
Speaker 1: Movie slaps so hard. I like, genuinely, I'm and I'm
Speaker 1: I'm being serious now, Yeah, sixty five percent.
Speaker 2: Come to fuck on, I think sixty five percent is low.
Speaker 2: I probably would have given it a seventy five percent
Speaker 2: no for to Lopol, I would have I would have
Speaker 2: dinged it on being a little bit incomprehensible.
Speaker 1: Hard disagree, I.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think it's a little lost in
Speaker 2: the sauce.
Speaker 1: One of the things I actually really really enjoy about
Speaker 1: this one is that it is it is a spy
Speaker 1: movie that like is just complicated enough sure to make
Speaker 1: you feel smart when you figure it all out, and
Speaker 1: like to be like, oh, I know what's going on,
Speaker 1: but like dumb enough that you could actually figure it out.
Speaker 1: They have They walked that line so perfectly in this
Speaker 1: movie that like anyone who watches it'll feel like, I
Speaker 1: did you know? I got it about halfway through. I
Speaker 1: knew what was coming. Yeah, And they're like, yeah, dummies,
Speaker 1: obviously we set it up for you like that, up
Speaker 1: for you exactly like that.
Speaker 2: And then I think there's a we have a lady problem.
Speaker 1: Oh well yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah we have
Speaker 1: yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: We're trying to make up for it with Kristin, Scott
Speaker 2: Thomas and Minisa Redgrave. And to be fair, they go
Speaker 2: a long way really goes a long way. I would
Speaker 2: probably give it about seventy five. What would you give it?
Speaker 1: I mean, i'd give it a ninety ninety five. Okay,
Speaker 1: here's one performance. It's terrible. We're gonna talk about it.
Speaker 1: But like, other than that, like see when he's dangling
Speaker 1: in Langley and the sweat is dripping off his glasses
Speaker 1: and it almost like sets off the alarm, and there's
Speaker 1: a guy shooting himself to death five feet away. It
Speaker 1: has ving rains, Guys, it has ving rains. It is
Speaker 1: a computer hacker, it has a melios is a computer hacker.
Speaker 2: What more do you want?
Speaker 1: Honestly, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do want more.
Speaker 1: Kristin Scott Thomas, that was sure. Yeah, we'll get it.
Speaker 1: We'll get to that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Erica, when did you first see Mission Impossible?
Speaker 1: I saw it in the theater. Okay, I saw it
Speaker 1: in the movie theater in nineteen ninety six, and I
Speaker 1: loved it. I have to admit, I haven't seen all
Speaker 1: the films in this franchise, but like, this is a
Speaker 1: franchise I really like. So Like when I pop in
Speaker 1: and watch one of them, I'm I'm all in and
Speaker 1: there's a little bit of like a catch twenty two
Speaker 1: about Tom Cruise's whole like I do all my own
Speaker 1: stunts thing because it's like it's exciting to watch. I
Speaker 1: will admit, I like every time I watch one, especially
Speaker 1: one of the later ones, and I'm like, is he
Speaker 1: really gonna fall out of a fucking airplane and fight
Speaker 1: Henry Cavill in the sky? Yes, yes he is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's exciting and like part of it, part of the
Speaker 1: joy is knowing that it's all real. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, one of these days, Tom Cruise is gonna
Speaker 1: have an accident. It's gonna be really fucking bad. He's
Speaker 1: gonna die, and we're all gonna feel or worse, we're
Speaker 1: all gonna feel really bad about it. And like I know,
Speaker 1: and I don't advance, I'm gonna feel really bad about it,
Speaker 1: but I don't care so much. Also, he's signed up
Speaker 1: for this. He knows what he's doing.
Speaker 2: Look, Tom Cruise has been famous since he was eighteen
Speaker 2: years old something like that. Like, obviously his brain has
Speaker 2: been pickled to the point where he thinks he thinks
Speaker 2: this is his calling. He thinks he's invincible to kill
Speaker 2: himself in the service of the movie industry. He has
Speaker 2: made his deal. He understands. It's not a mystery. What's
Speaker 2: going to happen? Okay, okay, he seems to be okay
Speaker 2: with it.
Speaker 1: The one where he fucking climbs this in Dubais.
Speaker 2: The one I saw the bird Khalifa.
Speaker 1: Yes, come on, are we not entertained? I really enjoy
Speaker 1: the ones, all the ones I've seen, And I don't
Speaker 1: really know which ones I've seen, if I'm honest, because
Speaker 1: I mostly remember like the major setups, like that, they're
Speaker 1: well written, the actors are all really good. The one
Speaker 1: that has Philip Seymour Hoffman as the villain.
Speaker 2: Oh dey shit, I've seen one of these. It's the
Speaker 2: one where he climbed the birge Khalifa, and I couldn't
Speaker 2: tell you nothing else about it. That's not an insult
Speaker 2: in the movie.
Speaker 1: I remember enjoying it because like what, that's all your
Speaker 1: brain can fathom, Like, wait, what am I? What am
Speaker 1: I watching?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: The one with Henry Cavill and him fighting out out
Speaker 1: of an airplane. That's all I remember in that movie.
Speaker 1: I hope that's Fallout, because fall Out of I hope
Speaker 1: so too.
Speaker 2: I don't know I don't know. Maybe, yeah, it might be.
Speaker 1: The only one that I think is skippable is number two.
Speaker 1: I would say the John Wu one, which is a
Speaker 1: shame because it's very stylish. It's a John wu.
Speaker 2: Film, just for the just for the for the masses.
Speaker 2: You don't want to skip a number two if you
Speaker 2: have to go this is Mission Impossible number two?
Speaker 1: Yeah, skip that number two?
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you can go stap deck like that.
Speaker 1: Although you know who is the bad guy in number
Speaker 1: two and he's pretty hot. Do Gray Scott uh who
Speaker 1: we loved in ever After?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Paul, when did you first see Mission Impossible?
Speaker 2: Yesterday? What? Yeah, I've never seen this?
Speaker 1: Wait, so you started with one of the others you
Speaker 1: started with, like Rogue Nation or whatever.
Speaker 2: I remember, like I saw it with my now husbands protocols,
Speaker 2: So I'm assuming I went on like a date with
Speaker 2: my husband to see it. Was like the movie to
Speaker 2: see what to go see a movie, because I again,
Speaker 2: I just have no inherent interest in these movies. I
Speaker 2: enjoyed this one and I enjoyed the one I saw,
Speaker 2: and by all accounts, it's like a great series. So
Speaker 2: maybe maybe we should do a Mission Impossible once we're
Speaker 2: getting paid our salaries for doing this podcast, and we
Speaker 2: have ample time producers to produce these episodes that aren't
Speaker 2: me We should do a Mission Impossible full watch of
Speaker 2: the series.
Speaker 1: Really, the only only my only issue is the later
Speaker 1: ones get long.
Speaker 2: All the movies were we can start breaking up off once.
Speaker 2: Once we're making money off this hand over fist an
Speaker 2: hour long episode done, we will pick up where we left.
Speaker 1: Offne but honestly, like great franchise, kudos kudos to everyone
Speaker 1: involved in the in the Mission Impossible franchise.
Speaker 2: Yep Erica. The tagline for Mission Impossible was only the
Speaker 2: mission matters.
Speaker 1: Okay, I think that's from like the first like from
Speaker 1: the TV show. Oh okay, I think your mission? Should
Speaker 1: you choose to accept it is right there? Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: right there?
Speaker 2: Or just choose to accept it something like a directive? Yeah,
Speaker 2: like you go to the movie theater. Yeah yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 1: Eat popcorn and watch Tom Cruise almost fall off of
Speaker 1: a moving train.
Speaker 2: Yeah, come on, we workshop that for literally thirty seconds
Speaker 2: and improved it. Where is our money, Hollywood? Do you
Speaker 2: want to read the iTunes synopsis? Sure?
Speaker 1: When US Government operative Ethan hunt Tom Cruise and his
Speaker 1: mentor Jim Phelps John Voight go on a covert assignment
Speaker 1: that takes a disastrous turn. Jim is killed and Ethan
Speaker 1: becomes the prime murder suspect. Now a fugitive hunt recruits
Speaker 1: brilliant hacker Luthor stickle Ving Raims. Fuck yeah, and Maverick
Speaker 1: pilot Franz Kreeger is that guy supposed to be German?
Speaker 2: I was freaking up, blu. This is a huge point
Speaker 2: in my notes. Why would you hire because Genrenau plays this.
Speaker 2: Franz Kreeger is so German.
Speaker 1: It's such a German name.
Speaker 2: Practically Pretzel Pumpernickels.
Speaker 1: That is Bunkers. That is because Okay, I like I heard,
Speaker 1: I hear it Kreeger the in the movie they call
Speaker 1: him Kreeger and I'm like, well, Creige, I don't know,
Speaker 1: maybe that's it. That is a French name and I'm
Speaker 1: just hearing it wrong. But now that I know his
Speaker 1: first name is Franz. Like, wait a minute, who was
Speaker 1: supposed to play this had dropped out? They got gen
Speaker 1: Renau at the last second.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: By the way, no notes on gen Rena excellent, But anyway, continuing, Uh,
Speaker 1: Maverick Pilot Franz Kreeger to help him sneak into a
Speaker 1: heavily guarded CIA building to retrieve a confidential computer file
Speaker 1: that will prove his innocence.
Speaker 2: It's a simplified version of the plot, but it's it's
Speaker 2: close enough that I'm willing to let all the all
Speaker 2: the illusions go.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, because like if you really if you start
Speaker 1: to go into it and you're like, there's double crosses,
Speaker 1: there's tros, there's so much progue, progue, yeah, progue. It's
Speaker 1: as far as the eye can see.
Speaker 2: Yeah, locations, locations, great actors.
Speaker 1: Gorgeous scenery. Yes, actual synopsis. Her her her, huh really her,
Speaker 1: We're gonna We're gonna like pin everything on her her. Okay,
Speaker 1: oh look I get it. She's hot, She's smoking hot.
Speaker 2: She's also a particular kind of hot, like a nineties
Speaker 2: vulnerable is the word gamine.
Speaker 1: Yes, like hot, But there's also it's a very nineties
Speaker 1: like emaciated, skinny, I smug a lot of cigarettes, hot,
Speaker 1: like a like a heroin cheek, heroin chic. Yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: there's that. But I have not seen acting. This would
Speaker 1: since the Geppetto players came to town. This is this
Speaker 1: is not even acting.
Speaker 2: I love the Geppetto players. Their marionette version of of
Speaker 2: Moby Dick changed my life.
Speaker 1: I will never forget that bet marionette that played a hab.
Speaker 2: Now I actually do kind of want to see a
Speaker 2: puppet Moby Dick. I think that would actually be wild.
Speaker 2: I want to see what real puppeteers could do with
Speaker 2: the story of Boby Dick. I actually bet it would
Speaker 2: be fucking incredible.
Speaker 1: It would be heartbreaking, is what it would be. Heartbreaking.
Speaker 2: But yeah, my only like question on it because I
Speaker 2: looked her up because I was watching this and honestly
Speaker 2: was like, why why was this the casting choice made?
Speaker 2: And she has won numerous awards in France for acting,
Speaker 2: so I'm like, is this a language barrier? Was too great?
Speaker 2: We thought we could overcome and we did not. Yeah, situation,
Speaker 2: but you're right, it's it's a her.
Speaker 1: Her Oh my god. Yeah, I like, and like there
Speaker 1: is sexual chemistry between them, so like I didn't mind
Speaker 1: that stuff, but like every time she spoke, I was like, girl.
Speaker 2: Girl, this is all right. Well that is your lead up.
Speaker 2: Everyone stick around. We're gonna play a couple of commercials
Speaker 2: right here. If you don't want to listen to commercials.
Speaker 2: You skadadle on over to patreon dot com slash that
Speaker 2: age weel podcast. You sign up for any paid tier,
Speaker 2: you will get ad free episodes and more. But if
Speaker 2: you don't, we've got some commercials and then we're gonna
Speaker 2: come back and we're gonna take you through d dun
Speaker 2: dun dun dun dun dun dunn Mission Impossible, and we're back.
Speaker 2: We open in the midst of a spy operation in Kiev.
Speaker 2: Jack Harmon played by Emilio Estevez uncredited in the film,
Speaker 2: just an uncredited can oh.
Speaker 1: Because he was pretty famous. Actually, remember when we saw
Speaker 1: it in the theater, I was like, oh, merely Westvez
Speaker 1: is in this. I think next to Tom Cruise and
Speaker 1: maybe John Voight to certain like the old older audiences
Speaker 1: MEI wests was by far the most famous person in
Speaker 1: the movie.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say, yeah. Jack is a security systems expert.
Speaker 2: He's watching a scene in a hotel room play out
Speaker 2: on a small TV screen in front of him. Right,
Speaker 2: Hannah Williams played by everyone buckle up ingeborga dapcunate wow
Speaker 2: wolf cunacte. You know what, I stopped murdering it.
Speaker 1: It's not his fault. You guys, I'm looking at the
Speaker 1: name and it is it's a long one.
Speaker 2: There are two dire critical marks in this last name,
Speaker 2: and I actually don't recognize either one.
Speaker 1: I think the second one is an accent, so it's
Speaker 1: like it goes up. I don't know, I don't know
Speaker 1: what that first one is.
Speaker 2: Hannah is a surveillance expert. She watches over Jack's shoulder
Speaker 2: in a drndal. That moment alone, the fact that you
Speaker 2: have someone very seriously standing there in a drndal, yeah,
Speaker 2: puts you in the right frame of mind for this movie.
Speaker 2: In the hotel room, an older man panics at the
Speaker 2: unmoving woman in lingerie on his bed. Another man, mustachioed
Speaker 2: and smoking a cigarette and a black coat, stalks through
Speaker 2: the room, demanding information from the panicking man, while Jack
Speaker 2: mutters under his breath, come on, she's been under too long.
Speaker 2: Come on say it, give us the information. The man
Speaker 2: gives up a name, Hannah, that's journd old lady. Uh
Speaker 2: huh springs into action. She brings some drug shots into
Speaker 2: the room, and the panicked man drinks from them. He
Speaker 2: promptly passes out, and the mustachioed man rushes to the door.
Speaker 2: The walls of the hotel room fall down to reveal
Speaker 2: that it's all a setup. This is something that this
Speaker 2: team has built in this enormous warehouse somewhere, and this
Speaker 2: man believes in an actual hotel. Absolutely no word on
Speaker 2: how they got him into the room in the first place.
Speaker 1: Oh, you know how these movies operate. They kidnapped the man,
Speaker 1: put a sack over his head.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but why does he think he's in there with
Speaker 2: like a hookup who died? He has to think he's
Speaker 2: in a hotel. Yeah, he's in trouble.
Speaker 1: Because he keeps thinking he's killed the woman.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, So honest, there's gonna be a lot
Speaker 2: of it in this movie of who cares? But who cares?
Speaker 2: It's fun? The answer is it's fun. The mustachioed man
Speaker 2: pulls off his face mask face face ramp, first face
Speaker 2: rip of the movie to reveal that he's really Ethan
Speaker 2: Hunt played by recently revealed in one of our episodes,
Speaker 2: Animatronic Tom.
Speaker 1: Cruise totally fully animatronicus.
Speaker 2: Animatronic in movies is Tom Cruise.
Speaker 1: He's entirely AI and has been since nineteen sixty four.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Ethan Hunt injects the woman in the bed with
Speaker 2: a solution. She wakes up as he hovers over her
Speaker 2: in concern. She's also covered in blood. Why is this
Speaker 2: woman covered in blood? We don't know. What does the
Speaker 2: man that has now passed out on the floor think happened?
Speaker 2: This woman is Claire Phelps. She is played by Emmanuel
Speaker 2: bert Bert. She is a getaway and transport specialist. Ethan
Speaker 2: hovers over her in concern. Now is the time where
Speaker 2: I'm just going to say there is a love triangle
Speaker 2: plot in this movie that was removed in post and
Speaker 2: you can tell.
Speaker 1: Yeah, these two were fucking. These two are definitely fucking.
Speaker 2: Yep. She says did we get him? And Ethan nods
Speaker 2: and says we got him?
Speaker 1: Dant excellent, no notes, perfect scene. We come back to
Speaker 1: find Jim Phelps played by John Voyd, doesn't age well,
Speaker 1: but we're going to move past that. He is the
Speaker 1: team leader of the group we just saw in action,
Speaker 1: and he's looking fondly at a picture of Claire, his wife.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just say this now, there is a twenty
Speaker 1: five year age gap between these two actors, and it
Speaker 1: is weird.
Speaker 2: It's because she also looks so young.
Speaker 1: She's the same age as Tom Cruise, but like he
Speaker 1: looks older than her, and then John Voyd looks like
Speaker 1: her grandfather. It is, it's odd.
Speaker 2: If she was an American actress, she would have been
Speaker 2: playing teenagers on the CW until she was forty. Yes,
Speaker 2: that's just what she looks like.
Speaker 1: That's just how she exactly. Yeah, she's got this like
Speaker 1: dooe eyed, like innocence kind of thing going. The casting
Speaker 1: of Claire is is like my only major bone to
Speaker 1: pick with the movie, not just because I don't think
Speaker 1: she's particularly good and she's not, and you're not wrong,
Speaker 1: the performance is bad, but also like she just looks
Speaker 1: weird with these men. Yeah, I don't buy that she's
Speaker 1: married to Jim for a hot second.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: So anyway, he's looking at a picture of his wife, Claire,
Speaker 1: the lady that we saw in the last scene on
Speaker 1: the bed, and a flight attendant offers him a movie,
Speaker 1: and he says he prefers the theater, and this is
Speaker 1: where Erica goes. Even the flight attendants or spies.
Speaker 2: Okay, is that on.
Speaker 1: Every flight I've ever taken? On every flight have I ever?
Speaker 1: Is there been a secret spy on that flight. Who's
Speaker 1: just waiting for a man in first class to be like, sir,
Speaker 1: can I offer you some special entertainment?
Speaker 2: The IMF, according to this movie, is employing agents all
Speaker 2: over it, embedded in all different airlines, yes, to give
Speaker 2: tapes to their agents when because this is a commercial flight, yeah,
Speaker 2: it is not a like a private plane. Because if
Speaker 2: it was a private IMF plane, why would you just
Speaker 2: not go up and be like you have an assignment, sir,
Speaker 2: you have an assignment?
Speaker 1: Pay attention, sir.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, he's on like Delta flight for sixty six out
Speaker 1: of New Brunswick. Like what the fuck? So the flight
Speaker 1: attendant says, would you like a movie? He says, I
Speaker 1: prefer the theater. This is all code. And she says,
Speaker 1: would you consider the cinema of the Ukraine? And he's
Speaker 1: like oh, and she hands him like I'm not kidding you, guys.
Speaker 1: Even in nineteen ninety six has had to have been
Speaker 1: old timey technology. And I was like, what the fuck
Speaker 1: am I looking at? So he's in first class and
Speaker 1: in nineteen ninety six, I've never flown in first class,
Speaker 1: but I imagine in nineteen ninety six it would have
Speaker 1: been like maybe this back in coach with the rest
Speaker 1: of us back in steerage, there was like one screen
Speaker 1: where we could all watch the same fucking movie or
Speaker 1: go to sleep, and those are your two options on
Speaker 1: an airplane. Ye, but everyone here seems to have their
Speaker 1: own like individual screen with like it looks like an
Speaker 1: old timey VCR.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: If you are older than us and fancy and understood
Speaker 1: first class. First class looked like in nineteen ninety six,
Speaker 1: please reach out and let me know is this the thing?
Speaker 1: Because it was this broke my brain for like three
Speaker 1: minutes of the movie. I had to rewind and be like, wait,
Speaker 1: what am I watching? Uh huh Okay, Anyway, he puts
Speaker 1: this tape in and receives his mission, should he choose
Speaker 1: to accept it. Alexander Galatsen, an attache in Prague, has
Speaker 1: stolen one half of a CIA non official cover list
Speaker 1: aka knock list. Yeah, they're just going to call it
Speaker 1: a knock list for the rest of the movie.
Speaker 2: You're gonna hear the term knocklist a lot. This is
Speaker 2: what we're talking.
Speaker 1: About, me cover list for all the agents. Right, Gallatsin
Speaker 1: has the half with the code names, and now he
Speaker 1: needs the other half with the spies real identities to
Speaker 1: match them up.
Speaker 2: Yep, I had a question, Eric, Yes.
Speaker 1: Paul is raising his hand, Yes.
Speaker 2: Paul, yes, if you have the spies code names, uh huh,
Speaker 2: why do you need their real names? I presume this
Speaker 2: is just to sell it to people who want to
Speaker 2: kill these spies. Yes, so John's Smith is a spy,
Speaker 2: Go kill them? Do you care what the spy's real
Speaker 2: identity is? Who?
Speaker 1: Oh? I guess, because the best way to kill a spy,
Speaker 1: this is me entirely making this up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, pull it out your ass. You're working the magics happens.
Speaker 1: The movie didn't didn't do this work. I'm doing it.
Speaker 1: The best way to kill a spy is to get
Speaker 1: them when they're not working, like because the fucking spy
Speaker 1: has to go home and pay pay their like electric
Speaker 1: bill and like feed the dog. Right, So, like you
Speaker 1: got to get them at that moment, and when they're
Speaker 1: not John Smith, when they're you know, Alex Trebek, right,
Speaker 1: and you famous famously a spy. He was hiding in
Speaker 1: plain sight the whole time.
Speaker 2: The Canadians had him implanted years ago.
Speaker 1: Every single one of those clues it was a top
Speaker 1: secret American secret. Okay, So That's my theory is you
Speaker 1: do need their real names also, because you can. You
Speaker 1: can get them this is terrible. You can get them
Speaker 1: where it hurts. You can find out who their families are. Okay,
Speaker 1: So he has the half with just the code names.
Speaker 1: He plans to steal the other half at a reception
Speaker 1: in Prague the following night. If I learned nothing else
Speaker 1: from the TV show Eightliast is that every single fancy
Speaker 1: party is actually about spies. Correct, It's just a roomful
Speaker 1: of spies doing spy shit, and like one DJ who
Speaker 1: doesn't understand why he's there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, correct, one DJ is just a disappointment to
Speaker 2: his parents and the rest of the room.
Speaker 1: Or tango dancing spies a la true lives.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So Jim's mission is to obtain photographic proof of the
Speaker 1: theft Shadow gleats into his buyer and apprehend them both.
Speaker 1: The team is already in place everyone we met earlier,
Speaker 1: plus Sarah Davies played by the wonderful Kristin Scott Thomas. Indeed,
Speaker 1: she is an infiltration expert, and she is already undercover
Speaker 1: at the embassy. She's been there for weeks.
Speaker 2: She's doing the work.
Speaker 1: The tape message includes a reminder that anyone who is
Speaker 1: discovered will be disavowed by the US government. So basically,
Speaker 1: you're on your own should this leak out and get
Speaker 1: you know, the government can't help you.
Speaker 2: The governments a new phone who dis.
Speaker 1: Exactly the tape then reminds him that it will self
Speaker 1: destruct in five seconds, right, so he starts to light
Speaker 1: a cigarette. Jim lights a cigarette to hide the like
Speaker 1: puff cloud of fart smoke that comes out of the
Speaker 1: Beta Max player in the airplane.
Speaker 2: Do you think he takes the tape out? Like what
Speaker 2: happens the tape.
Speaker 1: Because that poor flight attendant has to deal with hit.
Speaker 2: Presumptively, we want the Beta Max player to be working
Speaker 2: for the next fancy person.
Speaker 1: So that means Delta is hant on it too.
Speaker 2: Like this web is ever.
Speaker 1: Experienced, it goes all the way to the top.
Speaker 2: So we cut to Prague. Jim is debriefing his team
Speaker 2: on the plan. This is the team that we've all met.
Speaker 2: He's giving them their assignments. He reminds him that if
Speaker 2: he calls a boort, everyone should walk away immediately and
Speaker 2: regroup back at their hideout at four am.
Speaker 1: He actually says at oh four hundred. That's four am.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, they're professional spies. Have to know that, buddy,
Speaker 1: they're international professional spies. They understand what four hundred is.
Speaker 2: Yes, If I know what four hundred is, they know,
Speaker 2: They fucking know.
Speaker 1: The German lady knows four hundred is.
Speaker 2: I don't get confused and till we go above twelve,
Speaker 2: then I get very confused and upset.
Speaker 1: Ry fifteen o'clock, what even is that?
Speaker 2: Go fuck yourself. The team agrees. Then everyone starts joking around.
Speaker 2: They start clowning on Jim that they missed him on
Speaker 2: their Kiev job. He tells them he was in Chicago
Speaker 2: at the Drake Hotel and they joke about him getting
Speaker 2: soft in his old age.
Speaker 1: Oh you you're recruiting people in Chicago staying at a
Speaker 1: fancy schmancy hotel.
Speaker 2: He tells them to get serious. If that list gets out,
Speaker 2: agents like them are gonna get executed.
Speaker 1: It's a big fucking deal.
Speaker 2: You say serious, serious you guys, stop it, stop it,
Speaker 2: stop it, stop laughing.
Speaker 1: And then he sits down and someone put a whoope
Speaker 1: cushion on his seat. He's like, guys, no, no, this
Speaker 1: is this is spy shit.
Speaker 2: What are you doing, and his wife just smokes a
Speaker 2: cigarettes like I did not understand the mouth and Huma,
Speaker 2: you are so real.
Speaker 1: We cut to Jack. That's Emilio Stevez handy.
Speaker 2: He's like the he's cute.
Speaker 1: So he's handing out their mission gear and that's our
Speaker 1: way for the audience to start understanding like what they're
Speaker 1: working with. Sarah gets a pair of glasses with a
Speaker 1: video camera on them. Ethan gets to see the person
Speaker 1: he'll be impersonating at the reception, and it's an actual
Speaker 1: US senator, not in real life in the movie, but
Speaker 1: basically this is before the Internet, so people can't be like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck the senator is not it says here
Speaker 1: on in a post that he's in He's in Scotland.
Speaker 1: Why is he in Prague? So he sees the person
Speaker 1: he'll be impersonating, and he gets this stick of gum
Speaker 1: that if that's like red on one side, green on
Speaker 1: the other, and if he mashes them together, they will
Speaker 1: create an.
Speaker 2: Explosive I have one note about this, well, it's kind
Speaker 2: of two notes about the gum. One he should have
Speaker 2: been given two sticks. Should be given two sticks of gum?
Speaker 2: And two what is the situation in this mission that
Speaker 2: they're doing, where the level of explosive that this gum
Speaker 2: turns out to be is going to be useful.
Speaker 1: I guess to create a diversion.
Speaker 2: Because it's pitched something to get you into a door
Speaker 2: that's locked.
Speaker 1: That is what he says.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, I was expecting it to be a little like,
Speaker 2: you know, like, oh, okay, you put it in the
Speaker 2: lock and it just destroys in stuff. It makes sense, right,
Speaker 2: that's not what it is. It's a grenade.
Speaker 1: Honestly, if one stick of gum should do that, that's
Speaker 1: when you hand him a whole juicy fruit pack twenty sticks,
Speaker 1: and you're like, if you really get into a fucking
Speaker 1: ye pickle, this is this is an atom bomb in
Speaker 1: your pocket. Yeah, just don't chew it, he says, which
Speaker 1: is very funny.
Speaker 2: So we cut to the night of the operation. Jack
Speaker 2: makes his way into the elevator shaft where he'll be
Speaker 2: hacking into the security system. That's Emilio Estevez. He's in
Speaker 2: the elevator shaft on top of the elevator.
Speaker 1: He's kind of hot in nineteen ninety six, right, he is, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is I forgot he was really attractive in the nineties.
Speaker 2: Sarah, that's Kristin Scott Thomas rushes up to Ethan to
Speaker 2: point out Galitzin arriving. So we're getting we have a
Speaker 2: lot of like POV shots. So we're in Ethan's POV
Speaker 2: at this moment, which is it? They do a lot
Speaker 2: of them, and I'm like, was this like like edgy
Speaker 2: filmmaking this moment in time?
Speaker 1: I don't know Ryan to Palma, remember you've seen other
Speaker 1: films of his. He loves this shit. Yeah, he lives
Speaker 1: for a POV. But also I think this helps with
Speaker 1: the reveal of like when we see.
Speaker 2: Him when the camera turns around in the old.
Speaker 1: Man makeup, and they do a fucking great job they do.
Speaker 2: So Sarah and Ethan are together. Now Hannah takes her
Speaker 2: place on the grand staircase. Okay, so this is a
Speaker 2: grand ballroom. They have Hannah wearing.
Speaker 1: Hanna is the German lady played.
Speaker 2: By Ingeborgan rumpel Stelt skin.
Speaker 1: No you hear that? That's our German listener's going nine nine.
Speaker 2: Everyone else is in like ball gowns and tuxes. They
Speaker 2: have this woman who's who is a spy. She is
Speaker 2: meant to blend in standing on a grand staircase. She
Speaker 2: is wearing like an oxygenated avocado green button down top
Speaker 2: that's tied in the middle and a pair of glasses
Speaker 2: in like a kind of a sickly yellow that clashed
Speaker 2: with the top.
Speaker 1: It's weird.
Speaker 2: She looks she stands out like a sort.
Speaker 1: Of she looks like someone's like date that they bought. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a classy escort, but it's it doesn't fit in
Speaker 1: the crowd is like all older people in tuxedos and
Speaker 1: ball gowns. And she looks like a seventies like disco
Speaker 1: dann She she looks.
Speaker 2: Like she's going to an Elton John Connon.
Speaker 1: She's a very hot lady and so she sticks out anyway.
Speaker 1: She's like a hot blonde lady just standing on the
Speaker 1: staircase staring at everyone. No one talks to her. Are
Speaker 1: we meant to believe that? No one at this party
Speaker 1: is like, so, what's your story? Can I get you
Speaker 1: a drink? Let's let's chit chat? Like what what?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: She she does not blend in.
Speaker 2: Who is she played by?
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's played by Schnitzel von Trap.
Speaker 2: Is a solid drag queen. Nae. That's that's not bad
Speaker 2: at all. So Sarah mark skill sin by spraying him
Speaker 2: with some perfume.
Speaker 1: Can I have to pause? I'm so sorry to keep stopping.
Speaker 2: I know why you're stopping, though, and you need to.
Speaker 2: It's we have to.
Speaker 1: This makes me so annoyed that they made Kristen Scott
Speaker 1: Thomas the worst spy. She is bad at this. So
Speaker 1: first of all, when Ethan approaches her, we get it
Speaker 1: from his perspective and she's like, oh, hello, Senator, nice
Speaker 1: to see you. And then she like she she's still
Speaker 1: standing like a foot away from him, and I get
Speaker 1: it because it's a camera she's looking at, not a person,
Speaker 1: but she's like sitting a foot away from him, and
Speaker 1: she's like the target is over there, like everyone heard you,
Speaker 1: everyone heard what you said. And now when she's spraying
Speaker 1: this guy with like, yeah, the fake perfume to mark him,
Speaker 1: you do it? I can't.
Speaker 2: She like lifts up her arm like like she's a
Speaker 2: Romanesque statue posing and like sprays.
Speaker 1: She looks like she's like in the movie Challenge Her.
Speaker 1: She's about to do a serve.
Speaker 2: She looks like she's throwing salt over her shoulder because
Speaker 2: she accidentally filled some it's so obvious.
Speaker 1: It's so obvious she's just spraying perfume around this room.
Speaker 1: I'm like, bitch, you need to be better at this
Speaker 1: better And it's annoying to me because I'm now just
Speaker 1: spoil this part. Like she's not gonna be in this
Speaker 1: movie for much longer, and like I would have I
Speaker 1: would have put her in the Emmanuel Barrett role. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's slightly older than Tom Cruise probably, but who cares,
Speaker 1: and like who cares? And like she would have fucking
Speaker 1: nailed that part.
Speaker 2: So this perfume is spraying on Gilitsin's head. It Hannah's
Speaker 2: ugly glasses. Hannah, who's of course played by Unikua sauer Kraut,
Speaker 2: perceives this perfume as a yellow dot on his head
Speaker 2: through her glasses so she can keep an eye on
Speaker 2: Galitsin as he moves throughout the party. Sarah leads Ethan
Speaker 2: on a tour while Jack from the top of the
Speaker 2: elevator or attacking to the system grants them access to
Speaker 2: the restricted floor.
Speaker 1: So Ethan and Sarah head down to the office and
Speaker 1: set up Ethan's glasses to record the computer terminal so
Speaker 1: that they'll get the required photographic evidence of the leads
Speaker 1: and stealing this the list. Meanwhile, Hannah, who that's the
Speaker 1: character played by Ryan von linden Tree.
Speaker 2: What if she's not? Even are we positives? She's German? No? No,
Speaker 2: she might be Dutch.
Speaker 1: That name, actually, the way it was spelled, actually does
Speaker 1: not suggest German. That suggests either Dutch or maybe Swedish.
Speaker 1: And I've just decided to rag on Germans.
Speaker 2: Today played by a young Angela Merkel before her chancellorship.
Speaker 1: Played by Angela von Donnerschmidt.
Speaker 2: Hey, listeners, future Paul here, this actress is Lithuanian. She
Speaker 2: is not German. We will have fun with her being
Speaker 2: German for pretty much the rest of this episode, but
Speaker 2: you know, enjoy it with us. The Germans have done
Speaker 2: nothing to deserve this. But I don't know any traditional
Speaker 2: Lithuanian things. I'm guessing they're Russian inspired, so perhaps Tatiana deborched.
Speaker 1: So Hannah reports that Glitzen is on his way to them,
Speaker 1: because she's the one watching him, being total fly on
Speaker 1: the wall at this party, things start to go a
Speaker 1: little pear shaped when it becomes clear that Jack is
Speaker 1: no longer in control of the elevators. Jim that's John
Speaker 1: Voyd from his position at their hideout miles away is
Speaker 1: ostensibly or like out not in. The building opens the
Speaker 1: elevator doors and Ethan and Sarah manage to hide under
Speaker 1: the elevator bank as Glitzen heads into the office. Very exciting,
Speaker 1: they jump under the elevator. They send the message that
Speaker 1: they'll get to Claire on transport in five minutes. So
Speaker 1: Claire's outside the hot.
Speaker 2: Lady, Yeah, the.
Speaker 1: Demolition's expert on this team, moving.
Speaker 2: On grand support expert.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I but I in my brain that also
Speaker 1: includes demolitions. Sure, because if you're a good getaway, you
Speaker 1: also know how to blow some shit up.
Speaker 2: Fair enough, fair enough.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's the getaway driver.
Speaker 2: Ethan and Sarah head outside because they want to observe
Speaker 2: Galitzin when he leaves. Remember they have they're supposed to
Speaker 2: get an id on his on his buyer, and they're
Speaker 2: supposed to apprehend the two of them as well. Ethan
Speaker 2: tells Hannah that's that is the lovely actress played played
Speaker 2: by played by Dagmar von Hedwig. He tells her to
Speaker 2: head to the getaway car with Claire. Unfortunately, while Jack
Speaker 2: is still sitting on the elevator, it starts to rise,
Speaker 2: and he's like, what's going on? What's going on? Jim says,
Speaker 2: I don't have control either, enough control either. Up. The
Speaker 2: elevator goes the clause that it's going to like settle
Speaker 2: into on the top, come down, and Jack is impelled
Speaker 2: with a squelch that was.
Speaker 1: More hardcore than I remembered it being. And like when
Speaker 1: I saw it last night, I was like, whoa, yikes.
Speaker 2: To be clear, you don't see anything, you hear it.
Speaker 2: It's the sound effect that is hardcore.
Speaker 1: It's the sound of Also the fact I remember when
Speaker 1: I saw this ineteen ninety six being like, whoa, it killed.
Speaker 2: Him in the westvis same You're a scream?
Speaker 1: Did early? Drew Barrymore exited that film.
Speaker 2: And they do do a good job of creating this
Speaker 2: very like you think you're gonna be with this team
Speaker 2: the whole movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they have so much chemistry, except for the one
Speaker 1: lady played.
Speaker 2: By but you'll know she basically doesn't speak during that
Speaker 2: first time.
Speaker 1: One Marionette lady from the GETO players. I mean, honestly,
Speaker 1: if you want someone that looks this beautiful, because she
Speaker 1: looks just like Kate Moss just hired Kate Moss. I
Speaker 1: don't care if Kate Moss can act. Just the joy
Speaker 1: of watching Kate Moss in a movie would have been enough.
Speaker 2: So Jim tells Ethan Man down, stay where you are.
Speaker 2: I'm on my way. They don't retrieve Jack's body.
Speaker 1: I was thinking about this. That's gonna smell that embassy
Speaker 1: staff like a week later is gonna be like, there's
Speaker 1: something in the elevator.
Speaker 2: You're a dead rat.
Speaker 1: In the fucking elevator bank. That's like claw well because
Speaker 1: also ostensibly he fucked up the elevator bank with his
Speaker 1: dead body, and so they're gonna have to be like,
Speaker 1: can we go get some elevator repairman? And those poor
Speaker 1: repair men are gonna be like, oh money, yikes.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So Jim rushes through the night. By the way, has
Speaker 1: Prague ever progged so hard than in this film The
Speaker 1: Mist This movie is a forty five minute advertisement for Prague.
Speaker 1: The first forty five minutes it just could not look
Speaker 1: more beautiful. So he rushes through the night through the
Speaker 1: mists of Prague. He reports to his team that he
Speaker 1: has a shadow. He's like, guys, I have a shadow.
Speaker 1: Everyone aboard, we are being ambushed, like We've already lost
Speaker 1: a man and now I'm being tailed. Ethan fights back.
Speaker 1: He's like, no, no, no, Galitsin is on the move.
Speaker 1: I have eyes on him. He's on the move. Remember,
Speaker 1: like Galatzan has a thing that if it gets out
Speaker 1: to like the wrong person, literally every single agent in
Speaker 1: the world is like in Mortal Danger, right, the stakes
Speaker 1: are very high. Jim insists, we have to abort this.
Speaker 1: Where someone is on to us, we are fucked. He
Speaker 1: doesn't say that because I don't think it's a very
Speaker 1: far movie. But Ethan's like, no, we can't do this.
Speaker 1: He tells Sarah to tail Glitzen against Jim's orders. So
Speaker 1: Sarah follows Glitzen down a very foggy riverbank while Ethan
Speaker 1: splinter off from her to go help Jim. And as
Speaker 1: he's walking towards the bridge where Jim is, he sees
Speaker 1: Claire in the getaway car on his way. They make
Speaker 1: eye contact, like we all know that this has gone
Speaker 1: south and now Ethan's kind of gone rogue. Jim tells
Speaker 1: them that the frequency is being watched and to cut
Speaker 1: off all communication.
Speaker 2: Ethan's almost to the bridge. He hears a gunshot and
Speaker 2: sees on his CCTV that's on his watch, because that's
Speaker 2: apparently something that they had.
Speaker 1: That made me laugh every time someone had one. I
Speaker 1: think that's from the OGTV show. Okay, I think that's
Speaker 1: why the technology is both very modern in places in
Speaker 1: the movie and very old fashioned.
Speaker 2: Sure that makes sense. He looks on the CCTV camera.
Speaker 2: He sees Jim's bloody hands, and he hears Jim say Ethan,
Speaker 2: and then we cut to the bridge and we see
Speaker 2: Jim fall over the bridge into the water, covered in blood.
Speaker 2: He's been shot. He is also dead. Ethan gets there
Speaker 2: in moments, but the bridge is empty. He looks around
Speaker 2: for Jim's assailant. He can't see anybody. He tries to
Speaker 2: tell Sarah to aboard, but alas Sarah has followed orders
Speaker 2: and cut off her radio.
Speaker 1: Okay, Sarah, Yeah, Look, I hate to keep harping on this.
Speaker 1: She is bad at her job.
Speaker 2: Sarah is done dirty by this movie. I don't believe
Speaker 2: Sarah is as bad as her job as the movie
Speaker 2: needs Sarah to be in order for the movie to
Speaker 2: harp it.
Speaker 1: I agree. I agree because Sarah, she's about to do
Speaker 1: something so completely stupid. I'm just like, I literally wanted
Speaker 1: to reach through the screen and be like, no, no,
Speaker 1: you don't, you don't have Christin. Scott Thomas played this part.
Speaker 2: So Sarah sees Galitsin be yanked into an alcove right
Speaker 2: She's on this misty riverbank. She walks over, and we
Speaker 2: cut away as Sarah's walking over.
Speaker 1: The fuck, Sarah, the fuck the fuck He's being attacked
Speaker 1: and you're like, let me go investigate this further.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, we see Hannah played.
Speaker 2: By famed actress Dietrick.
Speaker 1: On Deutsche Mark getting into the getaway car and then
Speaker 1: minute she closes the door, the car explodes.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: So there goes Hannah and ostensibly Claire, who was in
Speaker 1: the car. Ethan arrives to see that Sarah and Galatson
Speaker 1: have both been stabbed. Okay, later in the movie, we're
Speaker 1: gonna get a flashback to this moment. We're gonna see
Speaker 1: what actually happens. In Sarah's last moment, Sarah sees Galatsen
Speaker 1: being like vaguely attacked. She sees him like kind of
Speaker 1: leaning up against a fence.
Speaker 2: Yeah, going, oh.
Speaker 1: And she just walks up and looks through the assailant
Speaker 1: in the eye, goes the fuck, and the assailant manages
Speaker 1: to stab her through the fence. Do you understand if
Speaker 1: she had stood one foot back.
Speaker 2: She'd be fine. She'd be fine, she could be around
Speaker 2: to help.
Speaker 1: He did not jump over the fence, chase her down
Speaker 1: and stab her in the street. She put her body.
Speaker 2: Up against the fence so he could stab her more easily.
Speaker 1: Got Yeah, she put her nice little soft torso right
Speaker 1: up against those fence posts. Yes, so the man could
Speaker 1: goes stabby sadby through the fence posts. He didn't have
Speaker 1: to get out of the fucking the other side of
Speaker 1: the fence to stab Sarah.
Speaker 2: That was when I saw that cutback. I was like,
Speaker 2: how why this is character assassination?
Speaker 1: She'd be this, I'm not this bad. I'm not a spy,
Speaker 1: I would say. I would stand a good five feet away. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I could get a good glimpse of everything that's going
Speaker 1: on five feet away from this situation going down, Shit
Speaker 1: is going down?
Speaker 2: Like what the like?
Speaker 1: This is dumb? I look, look and I don't look.
Speaker 1: I don't mind that it's dumb. I'm gonna be honest,
Speaker 1: I still love this movie, but this is so dumb
Speaker 1: yep so Ethan arrives just in time to see Sarah
Speaker 1: and Gilitzen having been stabbed. Sarah dies in his arms.
Speaker 1: She tries to mumble something, if you already know where
Speaker 1: the movie is going, you actually do hear what she says,
Speaker 1: but like the audience doesn't like, can't comprehend it. At the moment,
Speaker 1: Ethan finds the murder weapon, which is a black knife,
Speaker 1: in her side. He picks it up, he puts his
Speaker 1: fingerprints all over it, and then drops it.
Speaker 2: Yep, just like a good spy.
Speaker 1: Excellent, No, not ites not Ethan. He tries to find
Speaker 1: the disc with the stolen lists on Gilitzen. He rifles
Speaker 1: through his pockets, but it's gone, so whoever stabbed them
Speaker 1: took the list. The Prague police arrive at Ethan's location
Speaker 1: and he barely manages to get away before they apprehend him.
Speaker 1: He runs to a payphone. He does that same thing
Speaker 1: we saw in War Games, where he takes off the
Speaker 1: like receiver, puts something in it, puts the receiver back on.
Speaker 1: He calls the IMF headquarters and tells them that his
Speaker 1: team is dead and that the list is in the wind.
Speaker 1: His contact at IMF headquarters tells him a location and
Speaker 1: to meet in an hour. While all of this is
Speaker 1: going on, we see repeated cuts to another couple observing
Speaker 1: and seemingly talking on a radio. This before Ethan in
Speaker 1: like three four minutes earlier, when Ethan and Sarah we're
Speaker 1: exiting the embassy, still on their mission. Another couple who
Speaker 1: seems markedly drunk and we're stumbling around on the river banks.
Speaker 1: We're also exiting in the same general area. That's the
Speaker 1: couple that we see now kind of being obvious spies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Ethan walks to the location that he has been given.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna stop again here because the IMF, which
Speaker 1: is affiliated with the US government, presumably the Mission Force
Speaker 1: uh huh, has chosen for their rendezvous with the wanted
Speaker 1: spy at this moment. Who's being's who's being like like
Speaker 1: sought by the police. A giant, open air like gaudy
Speaker 1: blue restaurant that's theme seems to be aquarium. It's it's
Speaker 1: the restaurant. It's called like something like aquarium in check
Speaker 1: in the middle of like a being a major town square,
Speaker 1: you guys. And then they sit him at the window.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's also empty though there's no one in
Speaker 2: this town square.
Speaker 1: No one goes to proc exactly so hideous. Why would you?
Speaker 2: But I want to be clear about what you're talking about,
Speaker 2: because you're one hundred percent right. This is nothing. Laugh
Speaker 2: so hard that Erica is saying is wrong. There is
Speaker 2: a you go into this, it's kind of like a cafe.
Speaker 2: Feel you go in. There's an enormous aquarium in the
Speaker 2: back of the restaurant that you see. But the second
Speaker 2: floor of the building, the entire second fullloor, is also
Speaker 2: an aquarium.
Speaker 1: Nothing about this The location does not draw the eye.
Speaker 2: No correct.
Speaker 1: Prague is famously a city of alleyways, of churches, of
Speaker 1: small dark nooks and crannies where you can meet and
Speaker 1: rendezvous with someone in total secrecy and privacy. But no,
Speaker 1: we're gonna We're gonna have our secret meeting in the
Speaker 1: front of this restaurant that faces the square. All glass,
Speaker 1: everyone can see every everything.
Speaker 2: Yep, okay, okay. So he meets with Eugene Kittridge played
Speaker 2: by my MVP of this movie, Henry Cherney.
Speaker 1: Excellent performance.
Speaker 2: Is there's two MVPs of this movie. This is one
Speaker 2: we haven't yet met. The other one just oozing dickishness
Speaker 2: from every pore. He he understood the assignment on every level.
Speaker 1: Because he's technically a good guy but the but he
Speaker 1: is also the antagonist yep at the same time, and
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, okay, got it, got it.
Speaker 2: You may not know who he is. He he looks
Speaker 2: a little onto any to me without iron gray hair now,
Speaker 2: because he's had iron gray hair for like twenty years.
Speaker 2: But if you look this guy up, you'd be like, oh,
Speaker 2: he played like an evil senator in that movie I
Speaker 2: saw or that TV show I saw.
Speaker 1: He was Revenge.
Speaker 2: Yes, he was the dad in Revenge totally all right.
Speaker 2: So Kittridge is the director of the IMF and Ethan
Speaker 2: reports what happened. He's being very honest, but he's kind
Speaker 2: of also like processing things as he's talking. And then
Speaker 2: he's like, why was there another team on the site,
Speaker 2: because he realizes that drunk couple that he saw they
Speaker 2: were on the site too, so that's another team. And
Speaker 2: he remembers seeing someone on the stairs kind of looking
Speaker 2: at Hannah. There's another team on site? Why? Kittridge tells
Speaker 2: him that his team, Ethan's team was identified as having
Speaker 2: a mole and the mole was turned by an arms dealer.
Speaker 2: Known only as Max. The mole was carrying out Job
Speaker 2: three fourteen, obtaining the knocklist for Max i E, the
Speaker 2: same job that the mole would have thought Galitzen was
Speaker 2: carrying out that evening. Yep, the list that Glitzen's store
Speaker 2: was a decoy. The actual list is safe at Langley,
Speaker 2: and Galitzen was actually an IMF plant. The IMF lost
Speaker 2: a lot of good agents tonight.
Speaker 1: This mission went sideways.
Speaker 2: Really really sideways. Since Ethan was the only one to survive,
Speaker 2: he is now suspect number one for being the mole. Right,
Speaker 2: you wanted the list, you thought the Glitzen had it.
Speaker 2: You killed your entire team and you took the list. Yep,
Speaker 2: that's the working theory. Also, Kittridge goes on to explain,
Speaker 2: we looked into your parents and it turns out they
Speaker 2: came into it a great deal of money suddenly deposited
Speaker 2: in their account. So that would make sense.
Speaker 1: Because unexplained money.
Speaker 2: Where did that come from? Kittridge says, you want to
Speaker 2: shake hands with the devil, that's fine with me. I
Speaker 2: just want to make sure you do it in hell. Excellent, excellent,
Speaker 2: that is excellent. And Henry Cherney knows exactly what to
Speaker 2: do with it. Ethan takes the gum explosive remember the
Speaker 2: red light green light gum that Jack gave him. He
Speaker 2: mashed it together. He throws it into the downstairs aquarium,
Speaker 2: causing an explosion that results in the upstairs aquarium also
Speaker 2: so exploding. He flees into the night as the front
Speaker 2: windows blow out and the resulting fish flopping, water washing chaos.
Speaker 1: Now presumably that whole restaurant, like there was an IMF
Speaker 1: team in there. He identifies the other agency he saw
Speaker 1: on the bank and the guy at the party. They're
Speaker 1: all there watching him. So there's a full IMF team
Speaker 1: like at this restaurant. He runs away from them. That's
Speaker 1: totally understandable. But there were just like waiters there too, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and like and like people like having dinner and like
Speaker 1: an anniversary dinner at their favorite at their favorite aquarium
Speaker 1: themed restaurant in Prague, and they're just like, what the
Speaker 1: fuck does happened? Is the restaurant exploded?
Speaker 2: Why is this red snapper flopping around on my plates?
Speaker 1: This is not what I signed up for.
Speaker 2: Did he notice that Tom Cruise doesn't really do the
Speaker 2: Tom Cruise run? No, I didn't see he doesn't. He
Speaker 2: doesn't karate chop the air yet.
Speaker 1: He hasn't gotten that.
Speaker 2: He's like sixty percent of the way there.
Speaker 1: This movie, I think is it's not his first action movie,
Speaker 1: but like it's I think the first one where he
Speaker 1: was like, you know what this is.
Speaker 2: For me, this is for me, this is my whole
Speaker 2: It gave him the taste this is.
Speaker 1: My whole life from now on.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: So Ethan heads back to his team hideout to try
Speaker 1: and formulate his next move. He signs onto what we
Speaker 1: assume is the IMF server. Okay, what the Internet looked
Speaker 1: like in nineteen ninety six.
Speaker 2: This is hilarious.
Speaker 1: It's so funny. He starts searching like a proto internet right,
Speaker 1: this presumably back in the day when the only people
Speaker 1: who could use the Internet was like government agencies and stuff, right,
Speaker 1: because that's what it was for. And he starts researching
Speaker 1: job number three fourteen in hopes of finding the messages
Speaker 1: sent between Max and the mole.
Speaker 2: He notices email was apparently very not private back then,
Speaker 2: so not private.
Speaker 1: Nothing nothing appears. He like looks up in frustration and
Speaker 1: he sees a bookshelf in front of him, and there
Speaker 1: is a Bible front and center, and he goes, hmm,
Speaker 1: and he realizes that maybe job is job job three fourteen.
Speaker 1: He goes back on the old computer and he's like, aha,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna send an email to Max, who I don't
Speaker 1: know who it is, but I'm gonna send an email
Speaker 1: to Max at job three fourteen. From job there's no
Speaker 1: dot com.
Speaker 2: Nothing, nothing. He at one point searches Max dot com. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but what what what?
Speaker 1: What the fuck is that? So okay? So he emails Max. First,
Speaker 1: he emails like a quote from job three fourteen, So
Speaker 1: I guess Max will know who it is, even though
Speaker 1: he's emailing anywhere from Joe from job Yeah. And he
Speaker 1: tells Max that the disc recovered from Glitzen is tainted
Speaker 1: because it because it really is. He learned that from
Speaker 1: the IMF guy, right, and they must meet to discuss
Speaker 1: because he can get Max the real disc. And then
Speaker 1: he starts sending the same message in other languages.
Speaker 2: As Ethan is working, he starts to fall asleep, right
Speaker 2: is he's not out right genuinely, how your adrenaline should
Speaker 2: probably keep you up for a good two days this point, like.
Speaker 1: It's we're gonna find out in like a few hours.
Speaker 1: It's four am, so it's currently like I don't know,
Speaker 1: eleven thirty pm. Yeah, what's your damage?
Speaker 2: Ethan?
Speaker 1: Why are you so Why are you so tired?
Speaker 2: I don't sleep well because of my anxiety the night
Speaker 2: before a big recording day. Like all right, so he
Speaker 2: hallucinates Jim. Entering the headquarters, Jim is bloodied. He asks
Speaker 2: Ethan what he's doing. He says, I needed you, Ethan,
Speaker 2: you weren't there, and he reaches out to Ethan's shoulder
Speaker 2: and when he touches him, his hand transforms into a
Speaker 2: woman's hand. Ethan snaps his head up and throws Claire,
Speaker 2: Jim's young French wife, Yep, who has actually returned, across
Speaker 2: the room. He holds her at gunpoint. She tells him
Speaker 2: she got out of the car. She asks what happened
Speaker 2: to Jim. He shouts the whole team is dead, and
Speaker 2: she's shocked as he checks her for weapons. This whole
Speaker 2: thing is done, like, look, I don't want to make
Speaker 2: fun of it's been the whole episode making fun of
Speaker 2: this performance. And look, I don't think it's her fault,
Speaker 2: Like there's not much there there for her either, It's
Speaker 2: not all her fault, but like he throws her arms
Speaker 2: up and she has like her hair is like in
Speaker 2: front of her face. Couldn't look and she's like, like,
Speaker 2: it looks so sexual.
Speaker 1: It's so because it is. But also the way he
Speaker 1: searches her, he like starts under her breasts, Yeah, it
Speaker 1: still looks somewhat official, Like he doesn't look at he's
Speaker 1: groping her because she's got she got a nice set
Speaker 1: of knockers. Let me just put it that way, So
Speaker 1: like she could be hiding shit under there, that's possible, right,
Speaker 1: But the way he puts his hands on her, there
Speaker 1: is an implication that this is not the first time
Speaker 1: he's put his hands on her. That's the one thing
Speaker 1: like these two actors get totally right about. Like these
Speaker 1: two characters.
Speaker 2: It's the most sexual charge Tom Crius has ever had
Speaker 2: with a woman, honestly. Yeah, So he demands to know
Speaker 2: where she's been for the last four hours. He throws
Speaker 2: her onto the bed and he hovers over her as
Speaker 2: she reminds him that they were supposed to return to
Speaker 2: headquarters at four am. Should Jim call abort? And that
Speaker 2: kind of pulls him up short, and she just keeps
Speaker 2: saying four am four o'clock Ethan for four am, because
Speaker 2: that's I think the extent of the English ability to add.
Speaker 1: Lib Yeah, well, she's ostensibly like in shock over the
Speaker 1: death of her husband's.
Speaker 2: Also, why simply not let her say something in French? Here?
Speaker 1: Why doesn't she just speak French? And he understands me?
Speaker 2: He absolutely understands French.
Speaker 1: Right, He's a fucking international spy. He speaks seven languages. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're absolutely right. She should have just been speaking French
Speaker 1: the whole movie and subtitled.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so her panic and grief convinces Ethan that she's clean.
Speaker 2: All right. Look, Ethan knows that Ethan is not the
Speaker 2: male he I believe, trusts that there is a mole.
Speaker 2: How is this convincing him that she is not the mall?
Speaker 1: I think because he's attracted to her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's what they want it to be. But
Speaker 2: they've cut out the actual subplot of them sleeping together
Speaker 2: and her having that power over him. So was that
Speaker 2: in the mo It was initially in the movie. I
Speaker 2: know that there was a love triangle, like an actual I.
Speaker 1: Mean, the love triangle is still there. These two have
Speaker 1: such a palpable sexual energy.
Speaker 2: You're right, like it's supposed to be that he's he's
Speaker 2: taken in by her feminine wiles right, which is fine.
Speaker 2: It just it doesn't feel like enough to me. It
Speaker 2: doesn't feel like enough to convince this greatest superspy in
Speaker 2: the world. She should be suspect number one, even if
Speaker 2: you're not going to like accuse of anything right now.
Speaker 2: He should be taking everything she says with an enormous
Speaker 2: grain of salt fair enough.
Speaker 1: Ethan tells her that he's been disavowed and is assumed
Speaker 1: to be the Mole, and he has decided that he
Speaker 1: is going to get the knocklist that the Mole is after,
Speaker 1: so that then the mole will find Ethan and he
Speaker 1: can bring the mole to light. A message finally comes
Speaker 1: in from Max, giving them instructions for a meetup in
Speaker 1: Prague Yep. Ethan goes to the meet The apartment for
Speaker 1: this meetup is an art nouveau dream. I'm going to
Speaker 1: I'm going to scrap every single thing in my apartment
Speaker 1: and start fresh because I want to live in this apartment.
Speaker 1: Mosaic wall murals, gorgeous sculptures, but like not overdone. It
Speaker 1: doesn't look gaudy or like overly like expensive. It just
Speaker 1: looks arty in the best fucking way. Like I never
Speaker 1: noticed interiors, and I was like, I want to live
Speaker 1: in this apartment.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 1: I love everything it stained glass, but like appropriately done
Speaker 1: in like small locations so that it's just an accent.
Speaker 1: Oh excellent, so classy. So he goes to the meet
Speaker 1: in this apartment, he is introduced to Max Guess who
Speaker 1: plays Max motherfuckers who Dame Vanessa Redgrave.
Speaker 2: Acting Triple Crown winner Vanessa Redgrave.
Speaker 1: She brings such a like fucking boatload of charisma, every
Speaker 1: line she purs every line she says in this movie.
Speaker 1: She's so attracted to Ethan right away, and she's like,
Speaker 1: we're gonna have such fun together, you and I. This
Speaker 1: performance is so goddamn good that, honestly, even if the
Speaker 1: rest of the movie was terrible, I'd be like, I
Speaker 1: still love this movie.
Speaker 2: Vanessa Redgrave made it worth it.
Speaker 1: She made it one hundred percent worth it, don't I
Speaker 1: don't hate this movie. I fucking love this movie.
Speaker 2: To be clear, did you notice who won of her henchmen?
Speaker 1: Is the blonde one?
Speaker 2: The blonde one? No, you loved him in Diehard?
Speaker 1: That is him that is him. I was about to say,
Speaker 1: is he can't be He can't be Klaus from Diehard,
Speaker 1: Klaus from Yes, Now that you say it, I yes,
Speaker 1: at his clous and die argy.
Speaker 2: Have you called him Odin or Thora, Valkyrie or something?
Speaker 1: Ah, he does. He's got like long, gorgeous blonde hair
Speaker 1: in this movie. In this movie in particular, he is
Speaker 1: always saddled with like the widest coat known to many.
Speaker 1: At one point, Ethan so to get to this meetup
Speaker 1: with Max. Ethan meets this guy first. And this guy
Speaker 1: is just supposed to nonchalantly be sitting on a on
Speaker 1: a like a bench in the middle of prog. But
Speaker 1: he just hey, he's seven feet tall. B he's got
Speaker 1: he's got Thora's hair, and see he is three feet
Speaker 1: wide because he's a minute because he always worries. He's
Speaker 1: enormous like giant coats, and I'm like, none of you.
Speaker 1: Don't stick out. Everyone who's supposed to be a secret
Speaker 1: agent in this movie is terrible at this. So Ethan
Speaker 1: tells Max that if they boot the disc that they
Speaker 1: got from Glitzen, the IMF will descend on them and
Speaker 1: anywhere from thirty seconds to ten minutes, depending on where
Speaker 1: their location is, and she's like, mmm, but you see here,
Speaker 1: young Ethan, she's basically playing scar It's so good.
Speaker 2: She's a catwoman.
Speaker 1: Yes, she's ear a kid's catwoman. The only way this
Speaker 1: movie could be improved is the presence of earth a Kit.
Speaker 1: That would have been that would have been fucking amazing.
Speaker 1: Maybe there's two IMF directors. Maybe it's Henry Churney's how
Speaker 1: you s It's Henry Charney and earth Care and then
Speaker 1: we get an earth a Kit like an interrogation scene
Speaker 1: where earth a Kit interrogates someone. It's all I want,
Speaker 1: It's all I want you guys? Is that too much
Speaker 1: to ask? Breath the doll? I hear there's a mole
Speaker 1: in your team?
Speaker 2: Is it like the mole that is on my inner
Speaker 2: left thigh?
Speaker 1: Would you care to lick it?
Speaker 2: Would you like to see my mole? Ethan Nahan.
Speaker 1: Ethan's like, why are you wearing garter belts to this?
Speaker 1: Nothing but a garter belt and a boosty a to
Speaker 1: this interrogation?
Speaker 2: Did you skip interrogation class in spy college, Ethan? Garter?
Speaker 2: Is that are in very important?
Speaker 1: I went to spa University, Ethan? So okay, So Max
Speaker 1: is like, okay, well, there's a catch twenty two here.
Speaker 1: If I don't boot up the disc, then I have
Speaker 1: to just take your word for it. And if I
Speaker 1: do boot up the disc and you're right, then the
Speaker 1: IMF will descend, so they're gonna test it. Sure enough,
Speaker 1: he is correct. The IMF comes a colin and Max
Speaker 1: and her team usher Ethan out of their hideout before
Speaker 1: the IMF can arrive. They make a quick getaway because
Speaker 1: Ethan has been proven correct. Paul, the IMF again super
Speaker 1: secret spies show up to this apartment building. He is
Speaker 1: dressed like Inspector Gadget Kittridge. Kittridge is dressed exactly like
Speaker 1: Inspector Gadget with a giant green fedora, and the rest
Speaker 1: of his team are dressed like nuclear fallout scientists.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what the fuck? When I first saw them, I
Speaker 2: was like, Oh, I guess they're going in is I
Speaker 2: thought they're going as painters. That's they had like cover.
Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, they're trying to act as if
Speaker 2: they are like construction workers. Are They're going into paint
Speaker 2: the walls or something.
Speaker 1: Every single time these people try to go undercover, they
Speaker 1: go more overcover, don't overcover. You want to undercover, you're undercovering,
Speaker 1: Do not over Do not wear a sign on your
Speaker 1: neck that says I am overcover.
Speaker 2: We should have been tracking how many overcover moments that
Speaker 2: are in this movie?
Speaker 1: Oh, I've already I've been tracking them. There's there's there's
Speaker 1: Homburg von Liesel wearing like a fucking disco get up
Speaker 1: at at an embassy party. There's, now that I think
Speaker 1: about it, the drunk Russians, which even even in nineteen
Speaker 1: ninety six, I was like, those two are spies.
Speaker 2: That they're too drunk, they're too Russian.
Speaker 1: Frankly, way too drunk and to Russian. Those two are spies.
Speaker 1: And now this crew there's gonna be one later in
Speaker 1: the movie that is so insane, like so insane.
Speaker 2: Dondle. We got the Dorndle their overcover. So we cut
Speaker 2: to Inspector Gadget, I mean, Kittrid. He has decided that he's.
Speaker 1: Even got a Penny. There's a young woman with him
Speaker 1: on his team and she's dressed like Penny from Inspector Gadget.
Speaker 2: Sorry, that's a deeper Inspector Gadget cut than I would
Speaker 2: be able to do. I don't know if I've ever
Speaker 2: seen inspector gadget. But Kittridge just decided that Ethan's in
Speaker 2: the wind. The only way to get him at this
Speaker 2: point is to get personal. He says, you find something
Speaker 2: that's important to him and you squeeze. So good, He's
Speaker 2: really good. In the car with Max, Max is just
Speaker 2: Eartha kitting all over the place. She is purring, like
Speaker 2: Erica said, she's practically like kneading his chest.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's got her tongue in his ear.
Speaker 2: Oh. Yes. Ethan asks for ten million dollars for the
Speaker 2: knocklist and her assurance that she will get the actual job,
Speaker 2: the actual mole. At the exchange, Max is like delighted
Speaker 2: in his in his impudence and asking her.
Speaker 1: This, I love a man with a plan.
Speaker 2: Yes. We cut back to headquarters. Claire is there and
Speaker 2: she starts including herself in Ethan's plans to get the knocklist.
Speaker 2: Ethan surprised. He's like, are you sure that you want
Speaker 2: to do this? And she says, look, I want that
Speaker 2: guy killed, Jim. I want to get that son of
Speaker 2: a bitch. Ethan says, well, we're gonna need help, and
Speaker 2: he pulls up a list of other disavowed I am F.
Speaker 1: Agents, which is just the thing they have. I guess
Speaker 1: it's like a Yellow Pages during disavowed IMF.
Speaker 2: Agents actual yellow Pages. It's like starting looking for burnt spies.
Speaker 1: Comma disavowed.
Speaker 2: Spies, Comma in the cold, hashtag Europe, what spies mating undercover?
Speaker 2: We're looking for ones that want to go overcover.
Speaker 1: Overcover spies, spies within one hundred miles of prog.
Speaker 2: Erica. Would you believe we're already halfway through this masterpiece?
Speaker 1: I love this movie. I don't know if you could tell.
Speaker 2: You are giddy. Yeah, I haven't seen you this giddy
Speaker 2: without the help of alcohol in years, not since point Yeah,
Speaker 2: all right, we are going to put a couple of
Speaker 2: commercials here. We will be right back and finished taking
Speaker 2: you through Mission Impossible. And we're back.
Speaker 1: We cut to a train where Ethan and Claire are
Speaker 1: meeting with hacker Luther Stickle played by Ving Raims, and
Speaker 1: Ace pilot Franz Krieger played by Jenna the Deeply.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's why we decided that woman's name was German,
Speaker 2: because we're talking about how German named Franz Krieger was.
Speaker 1: Yeah by by the Deeply French by the Gallic Genna.
Speaker 2: Franz Kreeger from the lesser known Croissant district in Berlin.
Speaker 1: So okay, both Luther and Krieger are reluctant to agree to,
Speaker 1: you know, break into Langley, which is what Ethan is
Speaker 1: is asking them, asking them to do. Ethan appeals to
Speaker 1: their egos. He's like, look, you are the greatest hacker
Speaker 1: in the history of hackers. You hacked I can't remember
Speaker 1: what they with an example that some bank or whatever,
Speaker 1: and he's like, I didn't do that job. But if
Speaker 1: I did, but what a beautiful piece of work, What
Speaker 1: a beautiful piece of work that was. Ving Raim's is
Speaker 1: like shining, like thank you, I am the best hacker
Speaker 1: in the world, and the two men get on board.
Speaker 1: Ethan then goes on to explain that they'll need to
Speaker 1: defeat three security measures inside the vault where the knocklist
Speaker 1: is kept. First is a sound alarm set off by
Speaker 1: anything above a whisper. Next is a heat detector, like
Speaker 1: if the room raises its temperature even one degree because
Speaker 1: of someone's body heat, that's it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then the third is a pressure sensitive floor that
Speaker 1: can be set off by a single droplet of water,
Speaker 1: And then at like they show the man who actually
Speaker 1: works in there putting down a sweaty glass of like
Speaker 1: ice water on his desk. Yeah, and he walks away
Speaker 1: for a second and then the water drops to the
Speaker 1: like a droplet falls to the floor and sets off
Speaker 1: the alarm. And that's just to show the audience what
Speaker 1: would happen. But honestly, part of me is like, can
Speaker 1: we stay on that scene for a minute and watch
Speaker 1: that guy have to fill out four hours of paperwork
Speaker 1: to be like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I should have
Speaker 1: used the coaster. Jesus, guys, I work in here all
Speaker 1: day in this pressurized sound room with no one to
Speaker 1: talk to.
Speaker 2: That guy's name is William don Low. He will come back.
Speaker 2: I had a question, like, is this his office? This
Speaker 2: is where he works? He reports to work. He goes
Speaker 2: into this We didn't even get into the outer the
Speaker 2: outer security measures to get into the vault, Like, he's
Speaker 2: only the internal vault security measures. Yeah, and he sits
Speaker 2: there with no windows and like, does computer CIA analyst work?
Speaker 1: It looks like an Apple store.
Speaker 2: It does.
Speaker 1: Where he's sitting. He looks like a windowless Apple.
Speaker 2: Store, only considerably less welcoming.
Speaker 1: Ha. Yeah, and he's just sitting there all day by himself, like, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: wonder he's setting off the alarm by accident. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: poor guy's job sucks. So the way our team is
Speaker 1: going to get in is through a ducked thirty feet
Speaker 1: above the floor, which is protected I quote unquote Lasernet
Speaker 1: that is so easily disabled. I won't even go into it.
Speaker 1: Luther asks if Ethan really thinks they can do it,
Speaker 1: and Ethan smiles and says, we're going to do it.
Speaker 1: But if this movie had chosen to cut to the
Speaker 1: theme song after every.
Speaker 2: Single scene, it never would have gotten old.
Speaker 1: I would have I would have applauded every time.
Speaker 2: Do you want to hear it? You want to hear
Speaker 2: a very embarrassing theater story about this missions song. Yes,
Speaker 2: one of my first acting jobs out of college, I
Speaker 2: was on a tour. It was a children's theater tour
Speaker 2: and it was a play about math, and it was
Speaker 2: it was genuinely so stupid. At the end of the play,
Speaker 2: my character had to figure out how to like solve
Speaker 2: some I don't remember what it is, but they had
Speaker 2: a it was a dance to the mission impossible theme.
Speaker 1: I do you remember the dance?
Speaker 2: I truly and genuinely could not do a single step
Speaker 2: of it. I don't remember anything about it.
Speaker 1: I need to see that. I want to describe it
Speaker 1: to the listeners as you do it.
Speaker 2: I'm so. I honestly I would if I could, but
Speaker 2: I can't, So I won't.
Speaker 1: Son of a bitch. Now we have blue balls.
Speaker 2: So we cut to Langley and our team is undercover
Speaker 2: as firefighters.
Speaker 1: This is the one I was talking about earlier. You guys,
Speaker 1: they are going hard overcover.
Speaker 2: How how do you embed yourself in a fire department
Speaker 2: in the space of let's generously say three days.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no, Paul. They did not embed
Speaker 1: themselves in a fire department. They went to the Halloween
Speaker 1: Adventure shop and bought the cheapest looking firefighter uniforms because
Speaker 1: that's what they're wearing. They could. They look so stupid,
Speaker 1: It looks so dumb.
Speaker 2: But like they drive in with four other fire trucks.
Speaker 2: There are actual firefighters on the premises.
Speaker 1: Huh, you're actually right, How did they do that?
Speaker 2: Doesn't make any sense? It's like, really, the implication is
Speaker 2: that Luther sets off the fire alarms somehow. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: that's why there's a response. It doesn't matter. Again, who cares?
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter. But it's like the only three firefighters
Speaker 2: we see running in are Genre No, who's a fairly
Speaker 2: large man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, looks like a firefighter.
Speaker 2: Tom Cruise athletic, athletic built like a brick shit house,
Speaker 2: five to six on a good day.
Speaker 1: But still firefighter.
Speaker 2: And ninety pounds, soaking wet, who is so weighed down
Speaker 2: by the equipment that she can barely.
Speaker 1: Run wayfish wayfish. Emmanuel Bart No, No, I'm with you.
Speaker 2: I'm with you.
Speaker 1: This looks dumb. Okay, here's how I'm gonna here's I'm
Speaker 1: going to justify the other stuff because I did forget
Speaker 1: that there were other fire trucks. There is a cut
Speaker 1: to like a bunch of fire trucks. They're going to
Speaker 1: other because Langley is not just one building, it's a complex.
Speaker 1: They're going to other buildings. Okay, these three splinter off
Speaker 1: and only go into this one building. I buy it
Speaker 1: because because about what's about to happen, Like that's how,
Speaker 1: that's how Like, yes, that's where the other firefighters are
Speaker 1: fighting a fire elsewhere.
Speaker 2: A security guard leads them into Sector twenty one, which
Speaker 2: is gonna give them access to the duck system that
Speaker 2: they need. The two men stay with him, but Claire
Speaker 2: peels off from the group in that super surreptitious way
Speaker 2: you can when you're dressed in head to toe.
Speaker 1: Yellow, bright ary yellow.
Speaker 2: She ducks into an office. By the way, these are
Speaker 2: not empty halls. There are CIA analysts around.
Speaker 1: That's the thing. Like if a fucking firefighter crew shows
Speaker 1: up to your office, your eye goes to them.
Speaker 2: What's going on? Do I need to lead?
Speaker 1: Do I need to evacuate? They're all wearing such yellow outfits.
Speaker 2: She changes into CIA analyst drag. She re emerges, and
Speaker 2: she intercepts Don Lo. Don Lo is the guy that
Speaker 2: works in the little office that we were talking about
Speaker 2: a minute ago, sad room, the sad windowless room in
Speaker 2: the apple store inside of Langley. She intercepts him in
Speaker 2: the cafeteria. She puts something in his coffee, and she
Speaker 2: puts a little tag on him, so Luther can now
Speaker 2: track his whereabouts within Langley.
Speaker 1: Perfect. Meanwhile, Ethan and Franz Franz Kreeger, the frenchiest German
Speaker 1: person ever, are getting ready for their part. Kreeger will
Speaker 1: be lowering Ethan into the vault so he can retrieve
Speaker 1: the Knochilis from the computer. There. Okay, even if you've
Speaker 1: never seen this movie, you have a thousand percent this scene.
Speaker 1: The scene is so famous, it's on like every Oscar
Speaker 1: montage of like action sequences. Ever, right as the two
Speaker 1: of them are getting ready, the guard that guided them
Speaker 1: into the room is like, hey, wasn't there a third
Speaker 1: one of you? And Kreeger just goes at him with
Speaker 1: a knife, basically trying to kill him. Ethan prevents him
Speaker 1: from killing him and says, no body count, and they
Speaker 1: kind of just knock the guy out instead. They disabled
Speaker 1: the quote unquote lasernet with I'm not kidding, just like.
Speaker 2: It looks like it.
Speaker 1: It looks like one of those paper cutters, like long
Speaker 1: paper cutters. They disable the Lasernet, they open the grate,
Speaker 1: and they get started lowering Ethan into the vault. There's
Speaker 1: a brief scare where don Low goes into the room
Speaker 1: like whatever Claire gave him has not activated yet, so
Speaker 1: he goes into the room. Ethan is like, just like,
Speaker 1: like I just did.
Speaker 2: He's spider manning.
Speaker 1: He's spider manning over the man. Yeah, I'm like I
Speaker 1: just realized no one can see me.
Speaker 2: Visual medium.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's spider manning over him. That don Lo takes
Speaker 1: some tombs to try to help his tomb toumb doesn't work.
Speaker 1: He vomits into a waste paper basket and is like
Speaker 1: and like runs out of the room to go to
Speaker 1: the bathroom and like throw up his guns.
Speaker 2: Yes can I I just want to put a point
Speaker 2: here for William don Low. He takes the garbage with
Speaker 2: him and he cleans it. Yeah, good man, Yeah, as
Speaker 2: you should say.
Speaker 1: I mean, I wouldn't leave the garbage in the room
Speaker 1: with the vomit in it, but I might be the
Speaker 1: person who takes it to the bathroom and just is like,
Speaker 1: can someone get someone in the bathroom? Someone's vomited in there.
Speaker 2: You're real piece of shit. Talk about the disrespect of
Speaker 2: custodial workers everywhere. Big Janitor just turned off this podcast
Speaker 2: and will not be coming back.
Speaker 1: Also, I blamed it on someone else.
Speaker 2: You did that? Oh no?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I called it in anonymously and I'm like, hey, uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know who did it. Honestly, I would put
Speaker 1: it in the men's room, So just throw this set
Speaker 1: off of me. Even more.
Speaker 2: I was actually worried. He was going to make his
Speaker 2: assistant clean it up, like if you just put it
Speaker 2: out her desk, but because needs to be cleaned, which
Speaker 2: he didn't. No, no, yeah, all right, so Ethan is
Speaker 2: floating in the air, he sets about copying the knocklist
Speaker 2: onto his desk. I would just like to point out
Speaker 2: that all of this technology that we have, we have
Speaker 2: a laser net defeater, we have we have something to
Speaker 2: make him vomit, we have something to track him. They've
Speaker 2: decided to hang the crucial component of holding one hundred
Speaker 2: and sixty pound Tom Cruise. There's a lot of muscle
Speaker 2: on that frame, one hundred and fifty pounds at least,
Speaker 2: right just to the physical upper body strength of Creeker. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was waiting for like the rank.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, like just to like, so it's something that
Speaker 1: makes some level of sense break Yeah, although I mean again,
Speaker 1: Jean Renaul is very big.
Speaker 2: He's very big, but.
Speaker 1: He's not He's not Arnold Schwarzeninger, even Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Speaker 2: You're just holding the dead weight of one hundred and
Speaker 2: fifty pounds on a rope. You don't even have grips,
Speaker 2: Like if he had if even they had put clamps
Speaker 2: on the rope for him, so he had act He's
Speaker 2: just holding a rope, yeah, with his gloved hands. Short jan, Okay,
Speaker 2: The problem begins when Krieger spots an approaching rat.
Speaker 1: This I felt triggered watching this. I felt deeply triggered.
Speaker 2: He drops the rope for a moment, regaining his hold
Speaker 2: with Ethan mere inches above the floor. Ethan is arching
Speaker 2: his back like a like a first day student in
Speaker 2: a yoga class, trying to do a bo pose like
Speaker 2: he is. He is just barely not touching the ground.
Speaker 2: We cut back up to the duct. The rat is
Speaker 2: dead somehow that I don't know how that happens.
Speaker 1: I'm really glad movie did not show me whatever that was.
Speaker 1: But I'm glad it happened. I'm not sorry it happened, y'all.
Speaker 2: But Ethan is still swinging inches from the floor. He
Speaker 2: sees a droplet of sweat on his glasses. He manages
Speaker 2: to catch it in his hand before it hits the ground.
Speaker 1: Amazing.
Speaker 2: Don Lowe finishes puking and doing whatever else he may
Speaker 2: or may not be doing in that bathroom. We don't
Speaker 2: know how many ends he's losing it at he starts
Speaker 2: to come back, and Luther reports time to go, and
Speaker 2: Franz starts hoisting Ethan back up again, only no cranking,
Speaker 2: just hand over hand, hand over hand.
Speaker 1: Well, because there was a like a like a pulley
Speaker 1: system earlier, but that has been disabled. There was something
Speaker 1: that made the rope oh yes.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, more smoothly.
Speaker 1: Yeahfore, but that that's whatever happened with the rat that's gone. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So Ethan collects the disc which has copied the knocklist
Speaker 2: back on his way up, he starts taking all the
Speaker 2: equipment back like they had a temperature gauge to make
Speaker 2: sure the temperature wasn't rising. The friction of the rope
Speaker 2: that is now no longer on the pulley it starts
Speaker 2: to get almost loud enough to set off the sound alarm.
Speaker 2: They manage in the seconds between don Lo ultimately disabling
Speaker 2: all of these systems so he can enter the room.
Speaker 2: In that split second, some kind of mechanical thing that
Speaker 2: we have not seen before. Yank's Ethan up so he
Speaker 2: gets out of eye line before don Lo enters the room.
Speaker 2: He has the disc in his mouth. Franz is immediately
Speaker 2: like thanks, and he takes the disc and unfortunately drops
Speaker 2: his knife onto the desk. In the process, it stabs
Speaker 2: into the desk, stands straight up. Fuck, nothing we can
Speaker 2: do about that, don lo.
Speaker 1: This actor really excellent performance. He looks up and like,
Speaker 1: we see what he sees, and everything's in place.
Speaker 2: Laziernet is back, Lasernet is back.
Speaker 1: The gorilla is on. Nothing's going on above his head.
Speaker 1: He's like, wait a minute, though, but someone was in
Speaker 1: this room. He signs onto his computer and he realizes
Speaker 1: that there was a file downloaded a minute ago, a
Speaker 1: minute before he re entered the room, and he goes,
Speaker 1: oh no. He reports the breach immediately, but finds out
Speaker 1: he's already too late. The team has set off a
Speaker 1: smoke bomb and escapes in the fire truck, leaving Kittridge
Speaker 1: raging through Langley.
Speaker 2: Do you think maybe they would suspect the fire men
Speaker 2: of being plants at this point, the only people to
Speaker 2: enter to enter this place in the last hour and
Speaker 2: beat one room over from this. Maybe it was the
Speaker 2: fire peak, Maybe it was the fireman.
Speaker 1: Maybe you think, yeah, you think it was the three
Speaker 1: canaries that walked in here dressed as Halloween Adventure of firefighters.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we cut to London. The team is getting
Speaker 2: ready to make contact with Max. Kreeger tells Ethan he's
Speaker 2: not going to any meetings without him, right, so there's
Speaker 2: an antagonism between the two of them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a dick swinging contest. If I'm being perfectly honest.
Speaker 2: Claire will say it clearly later in the scene. They
Speaker 2: kind of reference it in the first scene when they
Speaker 2: meet them on the train, but he is her contact.
Speaker 2: She brings Kreeger in. Yeah, so Kreeger's like, look, you're
Speaker 2: not going anywhere without me. You're not going any meetings
Speaker 2: with Max without me, because I'm the one who has
Speaker 2: the knock list because he and he takes out the
Speaker 2: discs that he took from from Ethan at the at
Speaker 2: Langley all contrare. Ethan says he swapped discs with a
Speaker 2: little sleight of hand. The one that Creaker snatched was
Speaker 2: a decoy all along, and Tom Cruise gets to go
Speaker 2: full Tom Cruise deck and start doing sleight of hand
Speaker 2: that you know that's real. He's doing that fa.
Speaker 1: And he didn't even learn it for this movie. You
Speaker 1: know that Tom Cruise has like is like a hole.
Speaker 1: Like when you go to his house and you know,
Speaker 1: he doesn't drink alcohol, probably because scientologists right, he's probably
Speaker 1: He probably serves you weird food that you don't want
Speaker 1: to eat and no alcohol, and then he makes you
Speaker 1: watch him do close up magic all night.
Speaker 2: I went to a restaurant recently.
Speaker 1: I bet you Nicole Kinman was so triggered by this movie.
Speaker 2: Memi Rogers was like.
Speaker 1: No, Mimie Rogers saw him do like two seconds of
Speaker 1: close up magic, and she's like, I have to go.
Speaker 2: Home to go, I have to go. I went to
Speaker 2: this restaurant recently, you know how like some rest trun
Speaker 2: like jazz brunch or whatever like they have like oh god,
Speaker 2: and I was like, yes, let's do it, because I
Speaker 2: was like, this is going to be so awkward. I like,
Speaker 2: I was like, put it in my veins. I want
Speaker 2: to I want to know the man that's making his
Speaker 2: money going table to table at this local Brooklyn restaurant
Speaker 2: doing close up magic. But unfortunately the party I was
Speaker 2: with was like, no, no, I don't want it.
Speaker 1: You needed me there. I love that you had the
Speaker 1: chaos demon energy. You never have the chaostemon energy.
Speaker 2: And that time I was I was so in.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'll go with you. Okay, let's do some close
Speaker 1: up brunch magic.
Speaker 2: Let's do it. Okay. So Kreeger and Ethan are sparring
Speaker 2: with each other until Franz and Anger throws the decoy
Speaker 2: in the garbage and leaves and he like throws a
Speaker 2: bunch of things off Ethan's desk.
Speaker 1: He has a snit.
Speaker 2: He has a snit? What's the French word for a snit?
Speaker 2: Ethan picks up the Bible that that Kreeger knocked to
Speaker 2: the floor in Anger and he opens it. It's the
Speaker 2: Bible that he's been looking at all along to find
Speaker 2: Joe three fourteen, and he sees it's from the Drake
Speaker 2: Hotel in Chicago. Rut Row. This doesn't really prove anything
Speaker 2: when you think about it, Like, it just proves that
Speaker 2: maybe Jim's kind of a dick who takes the drawer
Speaker 2: Bible out of it.
Speaker 1: So why is he taking the drawer Bible?
Speaker 2: Yet? You have money, you're a super spy. I presume
Speaker 2: you're compensated reasonably.
Speaker 1: Well, No, we actually find out later he earns sixty
Speaker 1: two thousand dollars a year that he tells us Paul
Speaker 1: that's only one hundred and thirty thousand dollars in today's money,
Speaker 1: fairly enough to buy a bible.
Speaker 2: You can't buy a bible, I bet you know if
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: What a Bible costs these days.
Speaker 2: If you go to what ch're still give you a
Speaker 2: Bible for free. They are losing congregants.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you could. You could ask for fifty Bibles
Speaker 1: and they'll be like, yeah.
Speaker 2: Yes, sure, to your house. Absolutely. So Claire comes over,
Speaker 2: she apologizes for bringing Krieger in, and then she says
Speaker 2: she's going to get some sleep, and she like hesitantly
Speaker 2: kisses Ethan on the cheek. So she goes to get
Speaker 2: some sleep. Ethan retrieves the disc from the garbage and
Speaker 2: he gives it to Luther. There was a moment earlier
Speaker 2: when they were doing a job in Langley when Luther
Speaker 2: realized that they were stealing the knocklist, and he was
Speaker 2: audibly shocked on the radio. He's like, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: You're getting that? And nat has made Ethan trust him, right,
Speaker 2: so we should know here Claire and Krieger are not
Speaker 2: in the inner circle, but Luther is. Yeah, so Ethan
Speaker 2: is not completely taken in by whatever Claire is selling, right,
Speaker 2: He tells him, I'm going to give you this the
Speaker 2: knocklist your job tomorrow on the train, which is our
Speaker 2: you know, our big ultimate, our set piece, our set piece.
Speaker 2: You do not let this list get out.
Speaker 1: Because you understand the consequences. Yeah, Luther, you know, we
Speaker 1: don't actually find out why he was disavowed. I bet
Speaker 1: in a later movie we do. Yeah, I bet it
Speaker 1: because he's in all the Mission Impossibles.
Speaker 2: All of them, him and Tom Cruise.
Speaker 1: Him and Tom Cruise are the only two constants really,
Speaker 1: and then later on there's Simon Pegg will be like
Speaker 1: in a bunch of them.
Speaker 2: But like, I feel like I have lost on Cinematrix
Speaker 2: because I presume Simon Pegg was in all of the
Speaker 2: Mission Impossible.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I kind of wanted him to be in
Speaker 1: this one. I was like, oh, he's not in this
Speaker 1: one yet. I think he shows up to like this
Speaker 1: or third one. Yeah, So these two have a like
Speaker 1: it's clear he has integrity. We don't know what he
Speaker 1: did to like the CIA to dump him, but like
Speaker 1: he's a good guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So Claire calls Ethan into the room where you know,
Speaker 1: where she was trying to sleep, and she shows him
Speaker 1: the TV. There's a news report announcing that Ethan's mother
Speaker 1: and uncle have been arrested as drug kingpens in Iowa
Speaker 1: or wherever they're from. I just want to remind the
Speaker 1: audience that this is London. They're in London. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: can't imagine like the London local news being like, by
Speaker 1: the way, there was a drug arrest in Iowa. That's
Speaker 1: the middle of America. For the rest of you who
Speaker 1: don't understand where that is.
Speaker 2: I'm sure most people in London think New York, Los Angeles,
Speaker 2: maybe Chicago and Texas, those four points, Miami and maybe
Speaker 2: New Orleans, yeah, those five to six points and other
Speaker 2: than that, everything is just America is big.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the middle. Yeah. But like I genuine I was
Speaker 1: that that, Like, that's so stupid that this local news
Speaker 1: in London, But regardless, it works. Ethan watches as his
Speaker 1: mom and his uncle get purp walked. Ethan calls the
Speaker 1: IMF from a payphone, and Kittridge assures him that all
Speaker 1: the charges will be dropped the moment he comes in. Ethan,
Speaker 1: playing cat and mouse, tells Kittridge, if you think I
Speaker 1: murdered my entire team, why do you think I care
Speaker 1: about my own family?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And He hangs up the phone before they can fully
Speaker 1: trace the call, but the IMF now knows that Ethan
Speaker 1: is in London. It's almost like Ethan wanted it that way.
Speaker 2: Ethan hangs up the payphone. There's a large man in
Speaker 2: a trench coat that very noticeably moved into frame while
Speaker 2: he was on the phone with Kittridge.
Speaker 1: Someone who's also overcover.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's wearing a trench coat and a hat. He
Speaker 2: turns around to face Ethan and it's Jim. Jim, you're alive, Jim,
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. Jim says you're a hard man to
Speaker 2: catch up with and coughs in pain, and we just
Speaker 2: cut to the two of them debriefing. Jim is still
Speaker 2: in a bad way from the attack, and he tells
Speaker 2: Ethan that Kittridge is the one who shot him and
Speaker 2: Ethan goes, oh my god, that Tom Cruise way. Yes.
Speaker 2: Ethan starts to piece together how Kittridge would have done it,
Speaker 2: killing Jack, almost killing Jim, but then flashes to that
Speaker 2: night show us a different story. We see Jim himself
Speaker 2: programming the elevators to kill Jack and then faking his
Speaker 2: own shooting. We cut back to Ethan and he says, oh, well,
Speaker 2: Kittridge would have needed backup to kill Sarah and Galitzin
Speaker 2: and we see the knife that Ethan pulled from Sarah's
Speaker 2: body and we realized that it matches the knife that
Speaker 2: Krieger wielded in Langley. Ethan wonders how did Kittridge kill
Speaker 2: Hannah and we see Claire off in an alleyway detonating
Speaker 2: the bomb once Hannah played by famed German actress Marlene
Speaker 2: von Struckheim.
Speaker 1: Ha played by Strudel, just Strudel. Strudel can't think of
Speaker 1: a second word, can't think of a second German word.
Speaker 2: So we see Claire detonating the bomb. But then Ethan
Speaker 2: corrects himself Kittridge could also have detonated it, and we
Speaker 2: see a flashback where Jim crawls out of the river
Speaker 2: and detonates the bomb. Right this is telling us is
Speaker 2: that Ethan is telling Jim that he believes him Kittridge
Speaker 2: did all this, but he has put together that it
Speaker 2: was actually Jim who did it with Krieger. But what
Speaker 2: he doesn't know is whether or not Claire was actually involved.
Speaker 1: Yes, I just think this is so well done. It
Speaker 1: also goes to like it makes Ethan seem smarter, right,
Speaker 1: like we now we know that Ethan knows because he's
Speaker 1: not a dumb dumb what actually went down. This is
Speaker 1: what I meant earlier when I said the movie makes
Speaker 1: it just easy enough for the audience to solve without us, like,
Speaker 1: without us feeling like, oh, this is dumb.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess because you're not ahead of Ethan at
Speaker 2: the end of the scene, but you are ahead of Jim,
Speaker 2: so you still get to feel like you're ahead of
Speaker 2: the movie.
Speaker 1: One hundred, yeah, one hundred. So Ethan looks up and
Speaker 1: he asks Jim, but why why would kittridge this? And
Speaker 1: Jim Jim gets a little somber and he says, well,
Speaker 1: one day you wake up and you realize that you're
Speaker 1: obsolete with a lousy marriage and sixty two grand a
Speaker 1: year because the Cold War is over and god damn it,
Speaker 1: weren't those the good old days?
Speaker 2: Don't you remember the Q missile crisis? What fun?
Speaker 1: What fun that was for the rest of us, Coming
Speaker 1: out of the mouth of John Voight, super interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's not the movie's fault. Doesn't understand what it's
Speaker 1: doing here. He doesn't understand the context. It's it's creating,
Speaker 1: but it's just super interesting, right.
Speaker 2: It's also interesting. It's almost like John.
Speaker 1: Voy is saying, we should make America great again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a little bit. It's also interesting that, like because
Speaker 2: of I'm watching this thirty years after the movie was released,
Speaker 2: and I have a relationship with John Voight, the person
Speaker 2: he comes on screen in the beginning of the movie,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, he's the bad guy, like immediately, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And also if you're playing by like you know Colombo rules, right,
Speaker 1: You're like, well, the famous guy, the other famous guy
Speaker 1: is dead, so this is the other famous guy in
Speaker 1: the movie. It's him.
Speaker 2: He's a bad guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And Kristin Scott
Speaker 2: Thomas is not famous enough to be the famous bad
Speaker 2: guy yet. Yeah. But I wonder if you remember in
Speaker 2: nineteen ninety six, like, did you have that reaction or
Speaker 2: were you surprised by this time?
Speaker 1: I was surprised, Okay. Well, Also, so I saw the
Speaker 1: movie with my mom, and I remember she had a
Speaker 1: very strong negative reaction to this twist. She watched Mission Impossible,
Speaker 1: but she was like a teenager and she loved the
Speaker 1: TV show, and so she was so pissed that the
Speaker 1: character for mission impossible. It's the bad guy in the movie.
Speaker 2: Well, Nadia, Elena, at least you can know that the
Speaker 2: original actor said fuck you to this script ah and
Speaker 2: wouldn't do it.
Speaker 1: That's nice. My mom doesn't listen to this. Yeah no,
Speaker 1: but seriously though, like she she had a really strong
Speaker 1: reaction to it. And I think that they were banking
Speaker 1: on that that the older generation watching the movie would
Speaker 1: would assume this has got to be It's like, what
Speaker 1: if Tom Cruise had turned out to be the bad guy,
Speaker 1: We'd all be like what Yeah, I kind of remember
Speaker 1: being shocked.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so again.
Speaker 1: Jim gives Ethan basically all the information as to why
Speaker 1: someone like him would turn Jim promises Ethan they're gonna
Speaker 1: go after Kittridge big time, and Ethan says, oh no,
Speaker 1: we won't have to. He's gonna come after us. After all,
Speaker 1: we have the knocklist. Jim is like, good job, Ethan.
Speaker 1: He seems very impressed, and Ethan tells Jim the plan
Speaker 1: to trade the list for job on the train the
Speaker 1: following day. We're gonna catch Kittridge on the train.
Speaker 3: Ye.
Speaker 1: Jim asks Ethan not to tell Claire that he's still
Speaker 1: alive until after the job is done, He's like, this
Speaker 1: is a lot for Claire to take in. She's you
Speaker 1: know how women are. You can't tell them their husband's
Speaker 1: dead and then three days later tell them their husband's
Speaker 1: alive again. Bitches be crazy.
Speaker 2: He says this line, God knows what she's had you
Speaker 2: to forget about me. It's been like generously two weeks.
Speaker 1: It's no, it's been forty eight hours or some shit.
Speaker 1: God knows what she's had to do to forget about me.
Speaker 1: Is the implication, like you two have been boning down there.
Speaker 2: I think that's where that line comes from. That like
Speaker 2: that that you guys have been fucking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys have started to get together. She was
Speaker 1: just waiting for her creepy old husband to die, which fair, fair, Yeah,
Speaker 1: And Ethan's like, yeah, you're right, I shouldn't tell Claire.
Speaker 2: Ethan heads back to their hideout. Claire is sitting on
Speaker 2: the floor in a sleeping bag in the corner of
Speaker 2: the room. Sure, whatever trauma, it's clearly she was supposed
Speaker 2: to look like the little match girl, I guess or something.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I actually had a visceral response to this scene when
Speaker 1: I was like younger when I was sixteen and they
Speaker 1: like the look on her face and her being on
Speaker 1: the floor, I got annoyed. I was like, come on,
Speaker 1: she is a grown ass fucking super spy. Why did
Speaker 1: they keep playing her like she's just like, oh no,
Speaker 1: I'm so vulnerable? Like fuck off.
Speaker 2: He tells her the drop is tomorrow and she reaches
Speaker 2: out her hand for his. He gives her his hand
Speaker 2: and she rubs his hand against her face and starts
Speaker 2: kissing it.
Speaker 1: As we fade out, these two do bone down here, right?
Speaker 1: They have to like it seems to be the implication
Speaker 1: those kid. She's not a gentle dry kiss, She's like
Speaker 1: tongueing his hand.
Speaker 2: Yes. We briefly cut to Kittridge receiving two tickets to
Speaker 2: the train and he heads to get on board because
Speaker 2: he's just landed in London. Remember he found out that
Speaker 2: Ethan was in London.
Speaker 1: Did just land in London?
Speaker 2: Paul?
Speaker 1: This is how much money this fucking movie has. He
Speaker 1: lands in a helicopter in front of Tower Bridge January.
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding, it's Tower Bridge, helicopter down. Henry Churney
Speaker 1: gets out of the helicopters like what reads a note?
Speaker 1: There was no reason to set the scene here.
Speaker 2: It must be so interesting to be one of those
Speaker 2: actors like Henry Cherney who's like a journeyman actor, who like,
Speaker 2: I just got off of Mission Impossible that had all
Speaker 2: the money in the world, and now I'm gonna go
Speaker 2: do an indye that has like a two million dollar budget,
Speaker 2: and what like the different work experiences must be not
Speaker 2: that one is necessarily even better, Just like the entire vibe.
Speaker 1: The one where I get to fly in a helicopter
Speaker 1: over Tower Bridge is better. I'm just gonna tell you that.
Speaker 2: Right now.
Speaker 1: On the train Max, Max is back. Thank god I
Speaker 1: missed her. Max receives a phone call from Ethan. He
Speaker 1: tells her that the disc is attached to like a
Speaker 1: thing under her seat. She she it's like an OPRAH episode.
Speaker 1: He's like, and you get a call, and you.
Speaker 2: Get a knock list, and you get a knocklist, and
Speaker 2: you get a knock.
Speaker 1: Everyone looked under your seats. She starts to load up
Speaker 1: the list and it starts to load correctly, and she
Speaker 1: is satisfied. She tells him, but his payment is in
Speaker 1: the baggage car. Thank you for your service, sir, He says,
Speaker 1: what about job and She says, don't worry. When you
Speaker 1: go to get the money, job will be there. Job
Speaker 1: will find you. Max and her associates keep trying to
Speaker 1: download the knocklist, but Luther is right next to them,
Speaker 1: jamming the signal. He's pretending to be a businessman on
Speaker 1: the train ye, and he's his cell phone is actually
Speaker 1: like something that's jamming the signal. Meanwhile, Kittridge and his
Speaker 1: team are now on the train as well, and they're
Speaker 1: searching for Max. So they're looking for someone suspicious yep.
Speaker 2: We cut to Claire. She reports to Ethan that Kittridge
Speaker 2: is on the train and he tells her to meet
Speaker 2: him in the baggage car, so we follow Claire back.
Speaker 2: She enters the baggage car where Jim is sitting, but
Speaker 2: she's not surprised. Erica No, She says Ethan is right
Speaker 2: behind her, and is it such a good idea to
Speaker 2: kill him? She says, they can take the money and
Speaker 2: Ethan can take the blame. No one else has seen
Speaker 2: Jim alive. No one will believe Ethan's story and Erica.
Speaker 2: Jim reaches up and he pulls off his mask to
Speaker 2: reveal that he's actually Ethan. It's just extra funny when
Speaker 2: you think about that this woman was supposed to be
Speaker 2: married to John Voight, and the different body types of
Speaker 2: John voy who is legitimately like six' two six y.
Speaker 2: Three he is more than half a foot taller Than.
Speaker 1: Joe know what that is why they had to have
Speaker 1: him sitting? Down, yeah and now That i'm now that
Speaker 1: you're saying it out loud Because jim is sitting, Down
Speaker 1: and when she walks in and she's, Like, jim should
Speaker 1: we really kill? Him And i'm, like there's no way
Speaker 1: they could have Had tom cruise.
Speaker 2: Anyway just like he's standing behind. Something you look back
Speaker 2: and he's saying a little like a little like fruit. Box.
Speaker 2: Uh So ethan says he's very sorry to hear her say,
Speaker 2: that and then from behind, him the Real jim appears
Speaker 2: and Holds ethan at. Gunpoint oh, No claire is against.
Speaker 2: Him jim's against. Him what Was ethan hunt to? Do oh?
Speaker 1: No claire's, like why if you knew About, jim why
Speaker 1: go through with these? Messquerades? Fun And jim actually is
Speaker 1: the one who says it to. Her he's, like, girl
Speaker 1: did haven't you figured it out by? Now it's because
Speaker 1: he needed to be sure about. You he he figured
Speaker 1: me out. Early, yeah now we know That jim, knows
Speaker 1: That ethan, knows And claire is the only one That
Speaker 1: ethan wasn't sure, about which is why he continued the.
Speaker 2: Masquerade maybe she's not a super, spy maybe she's the
Speaker 2: nubie on the.
Speaker 1: Team SO i have a theory that doesn't play out
Speaker 1: but like in the, movie but that like because because
Speaker 1: their marriage is so, weird not just the age difference
Speaker 1: or the hotness, difference although there is that these two
Speaker 1: have no. Chemistry at no point in the movie do they,
Speaker 1: kiss do they hold, hands do they even sit next
Speaker 1: to each? Other SO i have a theory That claire
Speaker 1: And jim are actually, married like they went through with
Speaker 1: it and got, married but they're a spy. Team this
Speaker 1: is not a real. Marriage this is a spy, team
Speaker 1: and like he married her to bring her in as
Speaker 1: his partner for all of this to go. Down that's
Speaker 1: my like, Again i'm doing a lot of work for the.
Speaker 1: Movie So jim Tells claire he was trying to figure you,
Speaker 1: out you, dumb, dumb and then he gloats To, ethan
Speaker 1: you should not covet your neighbor's.
Speaker 2: Wife, hmmm like bible burno.
Speaker 1: Sick burn Bro LIKE i guess because for, this like
Speaker 1: like the one left in the audience who was, like
Speaker 1: oh my, god he. Knew claire's like you all, right
Speaker 1: let's get the money and. Run she's like get let's
Speaker 1: get out of. Here And jim's, like you're absolutely. Right
Speaker 1: So ethan hands the. Money it's, like it's like. COUPON'S
Speaker 1: i don't.
Speaker 2: KNOW i don't.
Speaker 1: KNOW i don't know how money.
Speaker 2: Works you guys travel travelers. CHECKS i don't.
Speaker 1: Know he was, like, BONDS i don't know how many.
Speaker 1: Works i'm not. Lying i'm, Like i'm, like he may
Speaker 1: as well have handed him a personal check for ALL i.
Speaker 1: Know And jim And claire are about to get away
Speaker 1: without having Killed, ethan which we'll put a pin in.
Speaker 1: That and Then ethan, says But, claire you're wrong about one.
Speaker 1: Thing And i'm, like why haven't they left?
Speaker 2: Yet.
Speaker 1: Leave ethan very slowly takes a pair of glasses out
Speaker 1: of his pocket and puts them on and stares At
Speaker 1: jim and, Goes i'm not the only one to have
Speaker 1: Seen jim. Alive you should have shot. Him you had
Speaker 1: twenty seconds between him taking the glasses. Out you could
Speaker 1: have shot the glasses out of his. Hand, yeah you
Speaker 1: could have karate chopped the glasses out of his. Hand
Speaker 1: why did you wait until he put the glasses?
Speaker 2: On, yeah and He why didn't? You why did you
Speaker 2: not just have the glasses on the whole, Time, ethan
Speaker 2: the whole?
Speaker 1: Time, yeah, well because of the face, rip but then
Speaker 1: put them on right after, that right After, meanwhile we
Speaker 1: cut quickly To, kittridge and we See kittridge looking at
Speaker 1: his transmitter watch AS cctv, watch and he Sees jim is. Alive.
Speaker 2: Mm, also he could have he could have brought the
Speaker 2: glasses out before the ten million dollar. Handoff you just
Speaker 2: gave the criminals ten million dollars for no. Reason do
Speaker 2: what you did at.
Speaker 1: The beginning of the, movie and put the glasses on a. Shelf,
Speaker 1: yeah the baggage.
Speaker 2: Cart So jim, reacts he shoots and Kills claire rather
Speaker 2: Than ethan for some. REASON i don't know why he's Shooting.
Speaker 1: Claire she's a weak. Link, FRANKLY i do know why
Speaker 1: he's Shooting.
Speaker 2: Claire that's that's a good. Point he should tell, Her
Speaker 2: i've shot you because you were bad at, this BUT
Speaker 2: i think.
Speaker 1: IT'S i think that kind of gives credence to my, theory,
Speaker 1: right that they're actually just like spy. Partners they're not
Speaker 1: actually a married.
Speaker 2: Couple. Uh he Knocks ethan to the, floor doesn't shoot
Speaker 2: him no.
Speaker 1: Reason because he actually Loves, ethan and he.
Speaker 2: Flees ethan grieves briefly Over claire before hearing a helicopter
Speaker 2: proaching and Following jim to the top of the. Train,
Speaker 2: krieger that's genre, No the Deeply French German Franz kreeger
Speaker 2: is piloting the copter to pick Up, jim who was
Speaker 2: crawling towards the back of the. Train ethan manages this
Speaker 2: is like a minutes long. SEQUENCE i am.
Speaker 1: So good high speed. Train remember this is A european
Speaker 1: train that it's not a choo Choo american. Train it's
Speaker 1: a real fucking.
Speaker 2: Train they PUT i think they Put Tom. CRUISE i
Speaker 2: can't remember where. It like it's maybe a zero gravity
Speaker 2: simulator or something to make his.
Speaker 1: Face, yes so they can't do that To John boyd
Speaker 1: because after fifty you really can't do.
Speaker 2: That skin just strips right, off like.
Speaker 1: That's not shade On john, boyd you can't do that
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 2: Either so they both get to the back of the.
Speaker 2: Train ethan manages to hook the helicopter's carabiner onto a
Speaker 2: convenient hitch on the actual. Train as the train is
Speaker 2: speeding towards the. Chunnel, erica holy, shit there's gonna be
Speaker 2: a hell helicopter crash. Nop krieger is such a great
Speaker 2: pilot that he steers the helicopter into the chunnel and
Speaker 2: continues to follow the.
Speaker 1: Train, Boner just such a boner for the. Scene it's so.
Speaker 2: GOOD i was thinking of you the whole.
Speaker 1: TIME i want you to, know thank, you thank. You
Speaker 1: in the, Chunnel jim continues to gesture To krieger get
Speaker 1: closer to me now as he's hanging off the side
Speaker 1: of the giant moving. Train it's Very it's so funny,
Speaker 1: too because you can see the, distinction Like Tom cruise
Speaker 1: Is Tom. Cruise they show his face the whole, time
Speaker 1: like you, know it's Really Tom cruise doing some. Stunt
Speaker 1: it's not the level Of Tom cruise stunt that's gonna
Speaker 1: happen in later, movies but it's a it's a for real.
Speaker 2: STUNT i see it grows more and more convinced of
Speaker 2: his own. Invincibility yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, meanwhile they cut to the person pretending to Be
Speaker 1: John voyte and they jumpsuit and full like domino mask
Speaker 1: to hide his. Face kreeger manages to get the helicopter
Speaker 1: close enough to the train That jim manages to grab
Speaker 1: hold of one of the copter's, pontoons which is a
Speaker 1: Word i'm learning right.
Speaker 2: NOW i think it's a. PONTOON i don't know that
Speaker 2: that landing. THING i think it's a. PONTOON i could be,
Speaker 2: wrong but we're going with. Pontoons, okay a.
Speaker 1: Pontoon so Now jim is hanging off the. Helicopter ethan gets, closer,
Speaker 1: Closer he's trying to get as close as he, can
Speaker 1: but he's still stuck on the. Train, meanwhile by the,
Speaker 1: way there is a whole drama happening behind both of these,
Speaker 1: men with a train conductor another another traumatized train. Conductors
Speaker 1: this has become an epidemic In. Hollywood now Now i'm
Speaker 1: blaming us for trained conductor like, epidemic a.
Speaker 2: CRISIS i have a question about this train, Conductor. Erica
Speaker 2: they did cast the man because he looked Like wallace
Speaker 2: From wallace In gramet.
Speaker 1: Right, No, paul that's just What british men look. LIKE
Speaker 1: i mean they wanted mister they couldn't match his.
Speaker 2: Ring Rowan atkinson was, like if you mentioned my, right
Speaker 2: if you match my D i'll.
Speaker 1: Genuinely was like there was a conversation where they were,
Speaker 1: like should we just Cast Rowan atkinson and make this
Speaker 1: make this a, comedy Make Mission impossible a full, comedy
Speaker 1: because they the performance this actor is giving is mister.
Speaker 1: Bean So ethan is stuck to the like THE i
Speaker 1: want to say the hood of the. Train that's not
Speaker 1: what it, is but it's the windshield of the. Train And,
Speaker 1: krieger who like throughout the movie it's been like dropped
Speaker 1: in a little, bit but he is a full fucking.
Speaker 1: Psycho he's decided he wants to Behead. Ethan it's not
Speaker 1: enough just to get away with. This he wants to
Speaker 1: Tear ethan into. Pieces so he he lowers the helicopter
Speaker 1: blades to try to Behead, ethan who is clinging onto a,
Speaker 1: train but he forgets Alas graeger, forgets they're in the goddamn.
Speaker 1: Chunnel there's a. Roof he accidentally hits the roof of the,
Speaker 1: channel knocking the helicopter off. Balance ethan jumps onto the other,
Speaker 1: pontoon and now we have a real fucking fight and theme.
Speaker 2: Song ethan looks At jim and he shows him another
Speaker 2: piece of explosive gum that he got From jack From
Speaker 2: amelia Estebez we back in the beginning of the. Movie
Speaker 2: this is why there should have been a pack of,
Speaker 2: gum or two pieces of gum given to, him because
Speaker 2: we've seen. One where did he get the other at
Speaker 2: the hideoutably Presumably. Yeah he puts it on the copter's glass.
Speaker 2: Front it, explodes and he times his jump from the
Speaker 2: pontoon perfectly to allow him to fly through the, air
Speaker 2: buoyed by the force of the, explosion to land back
Speaker 2: on the train as the helicopter is destroyed behind.
Speaker 1: Him fuck, Yeah, USA.
Speaker 2: Usa the train speeds along as As krieger And jim
Speaker 2: meet their fiery doom of the helicopter crashing and exploding behind.
Speaker 2: Them ethan flattens himself as everything starts to grind to a.
Speaker 2: Halt the train finally, stops the helicopter screeches, forward the
Speaker 2: blades keep, turning finally stopping with the helicopter blade mirror
Speaker 2: inches From ethan's.
Speaker 1: Throat, amazing. Amazing they do have another final cut to
Speaker 1: the conductor and that man just gives.
Speaker 2: Face he's, like he gives, face and then he gives
Speaker 2: faint and then he faces.
Speaker 1: That away, perfect no. Notes we cut back To luther
Speaker 1: on the. Train he has Brought kittridge To, max and
Speaker 1: Now max has been. Exposed she's, like my lawyers are
Speaker 1: gonna have a field day with. This you'll Never i'll
Speaker 1: never see. Time don't you. Understand I'm Vanessa. Redgrave i'm
Speaker 1: immune to your legal. System And, kittridge being a company
Speaker 1: man but also a very smart, man, goes, WELL i
Speaker 1: think we could leave the courts out of. This ye
Speaker 1: come up with like a mutually enjoyable conclusion to all of,
Speaker 1: this and she, goes, MMM i would love.
Speaker 2: To help you. Out i'm SURE i have something that you.
Speaker 1: NEED i everything About. Max it just makes me so.
Speaker 2: Happy we cut To ethan And. Luther they're getting a
Speaker 2: beer at the. Pub luther is back in THE. Imf
Speaker 2: he Asks ethan to join, him And ethan, SAYS i
Speaker 2: just don't know Why i'd be doing, it and he
Speaker 2: heads off for his. Flight he gets on His delta
Speaker 2: flight seven SIXTEEN yep to parents to go visit his
Speaker 2: newly released parents or a mother and, uncle whatever it.
Speaker 2: Was the flight attendant comes up and asks him if
Speaker 2: you'd like to watch a. Movie he says, no thank.
Speaker 2: You she, asks would you consider the cinema of The Caribbean?
Speaker 2: Aruba perhaps mission? Impossible and that is the end of this, Movie.
Speaker 1: Erica if, OKAY i actually am taking a flight in
Speaker 1: like a week from. Today if my fucking flight attendant
Speaker 1: does not offer me a mission, Impossible i'm giving zero
Speaker 1: reviews on, yelps zero stars on. Yelp ye on That delta. Flight,
Speaker 1: yeah if that flight attendant does walk up to me and,
Speaker 1: go would you.
Speaker 2: Care for the?
Speaker 1: Cinema EXCEPT i want To ruba's, good BUT i don't
Speaker 1: like the.
Speaker 2: Humidity so.
Speaker 1: CAN i interest you in the cinema Of oslo.
Speaker 2: Something to take some of the heat. Off, yeah, exactly, gotcha.
Speaker 1: GOTCHA i Think i'd be an Excellent nordic.
Speaker 2: Spy you would, be thank. You speaking of people who
Speaker 2: would stick out, somewhere though you would be overcovered just
Speaker 2: by your looking In. Norselands all, right everyone stick, Around
Speaker 2: we're gonna be right back after these messages with our
Speaker 2: random observations and final.
Speaker 1: Rankings du du, dud and we're. BACK i apologize for
Speaker 1: that sound in your. Ears that could not have felt.
Speaker 2: Good i'm going to lower the volume on.
Speaker 1: That, yeah the way that felt.
Speaker 2: Good, sorry we'll do a fade in.
Speaker 1: On, That, paul should you choose to accept, it give
Speaker 1: me some random.
Speaker 2: OBSERVATIONS i have a really a really small, one, okay
Speaker 2: but in the, beginning wouldn't. Small it's, average it's, average
Speaker 2: it gets a job. DONE i haven't any. Complaints i'm
Speaker 2: talking about my. Penis you guys in the beginning when
Speaker 2: they're when When jim is getting his mission right and
Speaker 2: they're showing all of the dossiers of all of the
Speaker 2: spies and like the their their. Aliases the last name
Speaker 2: that is initially listed On Ethan hunts Is. DUCHET i
Speaker 2: think they change it later in the movie to du
Speaker 2: set they take out the h but in the first
Speaker 2: scene it is Absolutely.
Speaker 1: Douchet they Watched Top gun and they're.
Speaker 2: Like, Douche. Douche we had a Whole douche riff on
Speaker 2: TOP i remember that. One, yeah that was a good.
Speaker 1: One the scene at the beginning of the movie when
Speaker 1: they're like in the fake hotel room and like she's
Speaker 1: under for some, reason and Like ethan has to give
Speaker 1: her a shot to like wake her, up like an
Speaker 1: adrenaline shot or. Something whatever it was that needle was so,
Speaker 1: thick did you?
Speaker 2: Notice, yeah, yeah it was like a ten gage or.
Speaker 1: Whatever not, cool, guys not. Cool do not show me
Speaker 1: a close up of that needle going into someone's. SKIN
Speaker 1: i don't want to see.
Speaker 2: It, oh, needles don't bother me in the slightest.
Speaker 1: Whoa that was just too much.
Speaker 2: Needle too much. Needle, also like that should people say
Speaker 2: about my. Penis that's why.
Speaker 1: They call you needle. Dick, absolutely that's why your nickname
Speaker 1: in college was Needle.
Speaker 2: Dick.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah because it was too thick and it gave
Speaker 3: you fifty c seeds.
Speaker 2: Fifty seeds of pure. Love, Okay so in the scene
Speaker 2: where has to go and uh poison Essentially william Don,
Speaker 2: low the guy From. Langley, yeah there's all these tables.
Speaker 2: Around she goes and she sits so close to.
Speaker 1: Him this is hot girl.
Speaker 2: Privilege this is it's so hot girl. Privilege BUT i
Speaker 2: would almost prefer it if they made that clear because
Speaker 2: he doesn't even Ignot like if someone sat that close to,
Speaker 2: ME i would automatically look at. Them, yeah be, like
Speaker 2: why are you not taking the chair and just sitting
Speaker 2: on The LIKE i get, it public, Space like you're
Speaker 2: gonna have to share a table the. Stranger that's not
Speaker 2: What i'm talking. About i'm, like she is so close
Speaker 2: to him that she can just reach out and gently
Speaker 2: touch his back to put the tracking device on. Him
Speaker 2: he never looks at her when she first sits. Down
Speaker 2: it's not until he like kind of she. Does she,
Speaker 2: moves and then he turns around and looks at, her
Speaker 2: and then it's, like, okay, fine you saw a Gorgeous
Speaker 2: wannesday next to. Year you're, Like i'm just gonna enjoy
Speaker 2: smelling her for like ten. Seconds that sounding, creepy but
Speaker 2: you know WHAT i. Mean that bothered me so. Much
Speaker 2: like just put her across the table from him and
Speaker 2: let her figure out away or have her flirt with, him,
Speaker 2: yeah or have her actually maybe she couldn't say the
Speaker 2: words while.
Speaker 1: They're at the coffee. Station, yeah just be, LIKE i don't,
Speaker 1: know like nice tie and like start a conversation with
Speaker 1: him so that there's a reason for her to be that.
Speaker 2: Close. Yeah, yeah she's clearly the honeypot of the, team
Speaker 2: Although hannah could also be the. Honeypot, like so they're
Speaker 2: all gorgeous, women they're all movie stars, whatever but like
Speaker 2: she doesn't have a purpose of. That she's a getaway,
Speaker 2: specialist which means she can drive like she drives real.
Speaker 1: Good, paul we never once watched her drive in, this
Speaker 1: not once that. Once, yeah just one line THAT i
Speaker 1: thought was, funny AND i wonder if it was An
Speaker 1: emelio estiv as like a special he's showing him the
Speaker 1: he's Showing ethan the like the, gum the two toned,
Speaker 1: gum and he's, like, uh you, know be careful with
Speaker 1: this or Else astilazania don't Get. ANYANYA yea love. IT
Speaker 1: i don't. Care that's. Good that's just good. Writing this
Speaker 1: is good writing.
Speaker 2: Or good living whatever may be.
Speaker 1: Living, Right it's, like don't chew this by accident or, Else,
Speaker 1: alazanna don't Get.
Speaker 2: ANYANYA i can't imagine a screenwriter typing the words, yeah
Speaker 2: don't get Any anya into final. DRAFT i like actually
Speaker 2: can't picture. It.
Speaker 1: Ah, Yeah amelia came in with. That, yeah they had
Speaker 1: they had another. One so so another sort of cheeky,
Speaker 1: one And emilia was, like you, KNOW i have a
Speaker 1: thing that my dad used to. Say CAN i say?
Speaker 2: That it's going to get my?
Speaker 1: Dad Martin, Sheen Martin, Sheen, guys, EVERYONE i don't know
Speaker 1: if you all know. This my dad IS i fill
Speaker 1: icon On Martin. Sheen, yeah that's Why i'm. Here it's
Speaker 1: kind of Why i'm.
Speaker 2: Here you know, How i'm good looking Young Martin sheen
Speaker 2: is actually even better looking than me when he's. Young.
Speaker 1: Yep, yeah you know, How i'm the third hottest guy
Speaker 1: in my family, somehow and yet this is WHAT i look.
Speaker 2: LIKE i only have one. More it's A it's at
Speaker 2: the scene where Their max and her team intentionally boot
Speaker 2: up the desk to try to draw THE imf, there
Speaker 2: and they're at this gorgeous, building apartment building that you
Speaker 2: want to limit In, prague, Right, Yeah THE imf. Arrives
Speaker 2: as we've, Discussed Henry cherney's dressed like Inspector. Gadget the
Speaker 2: rest of the team is in like these long white
Speaker 2: tarps that they're wearing over. Them they go. In there's
Speaker 2: an old woman vacuuming the. Hallway she notices the team's
Speaker 2: coming in she noticed this is the. Guns she's, like
Speaker 2: what the fuck this is all from a. Distance we
Speaker 2: cut briefly away back To. Maxneathan then we come. Back
Speaker 2: they're about to burst in and the old woman is,
Speaker 2: there just still, vacuuming, vacuuming but now she's vacuuming, faster
Speaker 2: which makes it seem like they were, like fucking keep, vacuuming,
Speaker 2: Bitch and she's, like what the fuck is going? On
Speaker 2: this little this little Check, nana who's, LIKE i just
Speaker 2: want to clean the fucking hallways and go to.
Speaker 1: Sleep do you think she was vacuuming. Faster she's, like
Speaker 1: Maybe i'll finish before whatever this is.
Speaker 2: HAPPENS i gotta get this. Done BUT i do not
Speaker 2: want to be a part of. THIS i Have no
Speaker 2: one's ever said that about.
Speaker 1: My, Penis no ever, Ever you, GUYS.
Speaker 2: I love that we're getting a riff about my. Penis
Speaker 2: going four fifths of the way through this. Episode it
Speaker 2: took a. While it took a, while but we found
Speaker 2: it much like it takes its, time but it's worth every. Second,
Speaker 2: okay yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Yeah like a. Needle little it's gonna hurt
Speaker 1: a little at first for some.
Speaker 2: Reason like a needle that can pierce the.
Speaker 1: Skin it's better if you look. AWAY i only have
Speaker 1: one more, too and this is like another. LOOK i
Speaker 1: unapologetically love this, movie but it is. Dumb it is very.
Speaker 1: Dumb and one of one of my favorite dumb things
Speaker 1: is When ethan is explaining To kreeger And luthor how
Speaker 1: they're gonna break Into langley and they're going through like
Speaker 1: the whole thing that Dun low has to do to
Speaker 1: get into that, room and it's like there's a voice
Speaker 1: recognition piece and then there's an eye, scanner and then
Speaker 1: he has to pass. Through you said it was his,
Speaker 1: assistant BUT i actually think that's like another, one like
Speaker 1: another sort of. Guard she's got both like a gun
Speaker 1: and a panic button under that. Desk absolutely another agent
Speaker 1: he has to pass through in other, agent and like
Speaker 1: she has to physically identify, Him, yes this is, Him
Speaker 1: and then they're like and then the final step is
Speaker 1: a key card that he has to insert into a.
Speaker 1: Machine And i'm, like that's the final.
Speaker 2: Step shouldn't the final step be like his blood or
Speaker 2: something like, That like.
Speaker 1: Start with the key. Cards that seems the easiest one to.
Speaker 1: Fake why are we making that the last. One oh,
Speaker 1: GOSH i love this, Movie. Paul how are we gonna
Speaker 1: Rank Mission impossible.
Speaker 2: One to ten theme song? Drops there are full four
Speaker 2: in this, movie.
Speaker 1: And there's not. Enough, yeah and that is not.
Speaker 2: Enough you were left wanting.
Speaker 1: More there are more themes.
Speaker 2: Which no one has ever said about my. Penis there
Speaker 2: are More.
Speaker 1: Mission impossible theme drops in this episode of that. Age,
Speaker 1: well in the Movie mission. Impossible mission impossible is what
Speaker 1: we call sex with.
Speaker 2: You only the most skilled people can do.
Speaker 1: It i've done it, twice BUT i had to wear
Speaker 1: a face mask the whole. Time how about one to
Speaker 1: ten flight attendant. Superspies there's at.
Speaker 2: Least there's a whole fleet of. Them, yeah there's a
Speaker 2: there's a. Flock would you like?
Speaker 1: Coffee would you like? Tea would you like A would
Speaker 1: you like a key card Into? Langley?
Speaker 2: Yeah would you like A mission impossible? Assignment do you
Speaker 2: think this flight tend just goes through every person and
Speaker 2: wait for someone to say?
Speaker 1: Yes but if you accidentally get the wrong. GUY a
Speaker 1: lot of dudes in business class are in. Suits like
Speaker 1: go to the man in The armani suit in business
Speaker 1: class and she's, like, oh.
Speaker 2: You're gonna have to be more. Specifical she like.
Speaker 1: Walks up to like the vice president of a, bank
Speaker 1: and she's, like do you want to storm crack?
Speaker 2: Out?
Speaker 1: No, okay?
Speaker 2: Sorry how about one to ten Famed german actors and.
Speaker 2: Actresses actors like actresses Like spetzel shot In.
Speaker 1: Freuda like Like Curry verst Von, Brandenburgh.
Speaker 2: Curry. Versed what's Curry? Verse don't even?
Speaker 1: Know, oh it's.
Speaker 2: Delicious is it a curry? Sausage it? Is in? Fact?
Speaker 2: Yes oh, Okay i'm not not.
Speaker 1: Interested, okay how about one to ten overcover, Agents, yes
Speaker 1: agents that are so, overcovered, overcovered it is impossible not
Speaker 1: to look at. Them first of, all the REAL cia
Speaker 1: must be the most average looking people on. Earth you
Speaker 1: can't put someone who looks Like Emmanuel. Bert it's like
Speaker 1: a situation and expect her not to not to get.
Speaker 2: Attention if you are listening to this and you're in THE,
Speaker 2: cia fire anyone who's too good looking, IMMEDIATELY i hate.
Speaker 1: You if you're, wondering AM i AM i a plane
Speaker 1: by a plane person and you work at THE? Cia, yeah,
Speaker 1: sorry who's.
Speaker 2: The HOTTEST cia director we've ever heard in real? Life?
Speaker 1: That actually, NEVER i don't. KNOW i don't.
Speaker 2: KNOW i only know who our current one is because
Speaker 2: of gestures at all of this the stuff stuff.
Speaker 1: Happening, Yeah i'm proud to SAY i actually not one
Speaker 1: hundred percent sure BECAUSE i really have been.
Speaker 2: Ignoring good for, you good for. YOU i think we
Speaker 2: should do this overcover, agents overcover, agents overcover. Agents do
Speaker 2: you want to go? First this is your baby.
Speaker 1: Agents dressed like Inspector gadget for some. Reason oh, right Pretty,
Speaker 1: NO i was gonna say pretty. Diverse it's not Ving.
Speaker 1: Rams that's about. It that's about all the non white
Speaker 1: actors we get in this.
Speaker 2: Film so we Have french people who might also Be.
Speaker 2: GERMAN i don't think.
Speaker 1: That, Counts, Paul, OKAY i don't think that.
Speaker 2: Counts there's the Drunk russian agents in the beginning that's so.
Speaker 1: White that's extra. White, okay so not super. Diverse thank
Speaker 1: you Fring raimes for your. Service that's sort of a blind.
Speaker 1: Spot that's not. Great and let's, see does it pass
Speaker 1: The bechdel?
Speaker 2: Test, no BECAUSE i don't Think, Claire, Sarah max Or
Speaker 2: hannah ever talked to each.
Speaker 1: Other, no it doesn't really pass The bechdel. Test so
Speaker 1: that's a. Bummer now THAT i think about. It, okay
Speaker 1: so doesn't age super well by our by our. Standards,
Speaker 1: yeah no gay stuff as far as as far AS
Speaker 1: i can. Tell it's also not super jingle with, stick
Speaker 1: WHICH i, appreciate that's.
Speaker 2: TRUE i don't.
Speaker 1: KNOW i Think i'm gonna have to give it something
Speaker 1: like straight down the, middle like a like a. Six,
Speaker 1: Okay i'm gonna give a six because it's not offensive
Speaker 1: in any. Way this is a few blind spots THAT
Speaker 1: i would have loved to have, fixed like give give
Speaker 1: the female characters a little bit more to. Do but,
Speaker 1: guys this movie fucking. Rocks it's so.
Speaker 2: Fun it is.
Speaker 1: FUN i cannot like recommend it. Enough i'm not gonna
Speaker 1: give a palate. CLEANSER i love this kind of. Movie it's,
Speaker 1: dumb it's, loud it's. Fun Tom cruise does stupid shit in.
Speaker 1: It that's gonna Get Tom cruise killed someday one. Day
Speaker 1: but in the, Meantime i'm gonna enjoy the, ride. Honestly So,
Speaker 1: yeah six out of ten overcover agents walking into a
Speaker 1: party dressed as a group of clucking, chickens full chicken
Speaker 1: costume and like, realistic and one of them came as
Speaker 1: a banana for some, Reason jim we said, chickens not, bananas.
Speaker 2: Not like the chicken costume that features in that episode
Speaker 2: Of The Golden girls where he drops down into. This,
Speaker 2: no it is actually.
Speaker 1: That actually they use that costume to break into the
Speaker 1: like you, know The polish. Embassy, yeah how about.
Speaker 2: You, Paul, YEAH i. AGREE i mean there's there's not
Speaker 2: much to say, Here, like it's just a, fun stupid spy.
Speaker 2: Movie that's what they set out to, make AND i
Speaker 2: think they made it pretty well sins of, omission Although
Speaker 2: Ving rahams is not nothing like. That that is a real,
Speaker 2: character and he's the character who tracks along With Tom
Speaker 2: cruise drop the entire, series which is which is. Nice. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Right so there there is some built in diversity HERE
Speaker 2: i read doing research for. It they actually specifically cast
Speaker 2: him because he did not look like what everyone's going
Speaker 2: to assume a computer hacker to look. Like, now obviously
Speaker 2: there's aspects outside of his race about.
Speaker 1: That he's also like LIKE i don't, know thirty something
Speaker 1: like he's. Older, like you're, right because you would expect
Speaker 1: a computer hacker to look like you, Know River phoenix
Speaker 1: right in, sneakers, right not not like a thirty year old.
Speaker 2: Dude. Yeah, yeah but but like you, said it's. Inoffensive
Speaker 2: it's just. Fun they're just trying to have. Fun AND
Speaker 2: i think it it does do a good. Job you
Speaker 2: have brought me more to your way of. THINKING i
Speaker 2: don't think it's as complicated AS i thought it was at.
Speaker 2: First you're, right the movie does do a pretty good.
Speaker 2: JOB i think MAYBE i got a little lost in
Speaker 2: the sauce of like how dumb like the internet stuff,
Speaker 2: was and like THINKING i was missing something because the
Speaker 2: internet stuff is so, dumb it must be meaning, something
Speaker 2: but it. Doesn't it just it's you guys can let
Speaker 2: this be really surface and it's fine and you can
Speaker 2: have a good. Time, Yeah i'll give. It i'll give
Speaker 2: it a. Six with, YOU i think it's better than a.
Speaker 2: Five so, yeah six out of. Ten Overcover, agents overcover.
Speaker 2: SPIES i don't feel me need to offer a pallet cleanser.
Speaker 2: EITHER i do want to leave you with a little tidbit,
Speaker 2: THOUGH i was researching palate cleansers in CASE i DECIDED
Speaker 2: i needed. One were you aware That Vanessa redgrave did
Speaker 2: A tv movie Of Whatever happened To Baby jane With Lynn?
Speaker 2: REDGRAVE i saw. It how was? It?
Speaker 1: LOOK i love, them, absolutely adore. Them it's, no.
Speaker 2: It's, no doesn't, work it's no.
Speaker 1: Original, now well you know what it is is they're too. Good,
Speaker 1: yeah so they took it so, seriously and Like Betty,
Speaker 1: davis who is also obviously an incredible, actor is just
Speaker 1: like she's playing it so, Huge she's playing it like
Speaker 1: it's a vaudeville house in a movie, theater and, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: yes it doesn't.
Speaker 2: Compare, Gotcha. Erica that is the end of our. Show
Speaker 2: everyone listening can follow us On Blue, sky On threads On.
Speaker 2: Instagram instagram is the only platform where we accept request
Speaker 2: specifically on our monthly. Themes we have a tea public.
Speaker 2: Shop we would love it if you would leave a
Speaker 2: five star review On Apple podcasts or any podcasting platform
Speaker 2: that you. Use if you do, that just Like Abby
Speaker 2: rue and mentioned dot dot dot from the top of this,
Speaker 2: episode let us know you did. It we'll send you
Speaker 2: with that age well tote. Bag you don't have to
Speaker 2: wait for us to read. It you can just send
Speaker 2: in the, review tell me you sent, it AND i
Speaker 2: will send you that tote. Bag if you don't know
Speaker 2: how to do, IT i put a link in these
Speaker 2: here show notes to rate this podcast dot com slash
Speaker 2: that Age. Well you click on that link you can
Speaker 2: follow the instructions.
Speaker 1: There that Aged well is produced and edited By Paul
Speaker 1: keola and his Needle. Dick just one more to put
Speaker 1: one more?
Speaker 2: In, Oh i'm sure there'll be.
Speaker 1: MORE i just had to poke, you just like the tiny.
Speaker 2: Needle. Dick do you KNOW i know the exact moment
Speaker 2: in my life WHEN i first heard the term needle.
Speaker 1: Dick when was?
Speaker 2: It it? Was it's in the Movie Outrageous. Fortune Shelley
Speaker 2: long And Bette midler are called to identify a corpse
Speaker 2: and they look at it and they know it's not
Speaker 2: the guy that they were both fucking because his dick
Speaker 2: is too, Small And Bette midler says the, line and look,
Speaker 2: THIS i saw this thirty years, ago but in my,
Speaker 2: head this is what the line. Is, look the terms
Speaker 2: bug fucker and needle dick did not apply to this
Speaker 2: GUY Whoa.
Speaker 1: Yes, WELL i bet that's exactly, verbata because that's the
Speaker 1: kind of quote that really sticks with.
Speaker 2: You, yeah for.
Speaker 1: Life we would like to, think by the, way, like, guys,
Speaker 1: Guys i'm serious, Here paul's penis is.
Speaker 2: Fine, yeah it's.
Speaker 1: Normal it's totally, normal fully fucking. Normal you, guys stop
Speaker 1: making fun of. It, okay it's the most. Normal it's
Speaker 1: the UNDERCOVER cia agent of, penises stand out in a. Crowd,
Speaker 1: no but it gets the job. Done we would like
Speaker 1: to Thank, Sophie, Mike, Josephine meg And barry for reaching
Speaker 1: out and letting us know what they want to. Hear
Speaker 1: if you want to have a say in the topics we,
Speaker 1: discussed you can join our. Patreon every patron gets to
Speaker 1: vote in an exclusive monthly poll to determine one of our.
Speaker 1: Subjects so head on over to patreon dot com slash
Speaker 1: That Aged well podcast to find out.
Speaker 2: More speaking of, which some tears on Our patreon come
Speaker 2: with a thanks from a podcast. Character and today we
Speaker 2: have a debut a debut. Character we are hearing From
Speaker 2: quint From, jaws happy to be.
Speaker 1: Here thank you for having.
Speaker 2: Me.
Speaker 4: UH i just want to thank That jiley And SeaBASS
Speaker 4: who let me in earlier today and the rainbow trout
Speaker 4: in front of. Me now you know what they say
Speaker 4: about rainbow. Trouts they love being on the. POLE i
Speaker 4: was brought here today under the promise THAT i would
Speaker 4: get fifty dollars a pint of, whiskey and the expectation
Speaker 4: that the hole in my boat would be. Fixed, although
Speaker 4: now That i've met these, Two i'm just gonna walk
Speaker 4: away with that pint of.
Speaker 1: Whiskey thank you To andy for listening to that.
Speaker 4: Age, well you're a real angelfish for listening to these
Speaker 4: two gobblin sharks talk about dip jokes and ponds and.
Speaker 1: Whatnot, GOD i hate. Sharks one TIME i was fishing
Speaker 1: off The Florida keys and a sand tiger shark came
Speaker 1: up to my. BOAT i thought it was just gonna sniff,
Speaker 1: around but, no it looked me right in the eye
Speaker 1: and it called me a.
Speaker 4: Pussy that didn't seem called. FOR i did nothing to that.
Speaker 4: Shark why is it calling me a?
Speaker 1: PUSSY i hate.
Speaker 2: Sharks so now he's talking to. Sharks that that was a.
Speaker 1: Twist it's not that he's talking to them THAT i
Speaker 1: THAT i kind of. Expected it's that they're talking. Back,
Speaker 1: yeah you're, right that's the. Concern, yeah they're talking. Back
Speaker 1: he seems to. Understand, yeah there is a clear animosity
Speaker 1: on both.
Speaker 2: Sides no one likes. Anyone everyone hates everyone.
Speaker 1: Equally but, uh but, YEAH i think. HE i think
Speaker 1: he needs more time on land a little.
Speaker 2: Bit yeah he has he has the sea.
Speaker 1: Crazies yeah, yeah, Yeah quick has the sea.
Speaker 2: Crazies, definitely definitely all, Right. Erica any final thoughts on mission,
Speaker 2: Impossible Paul.
Speaker 1: Quick we're gonna break into The White. HOUSE i need
Speaker 1: you to put on this banana. Costume i'm gonna dress
Speaker 1: like a giant. Peach no one will even, know no
Speaker 1: one will see us.
Speaker 2: Coming that seems like very sexed emoji. Codd you're.
Speaker 1: Right every patron gets to vote in an exclusive monthly.
Speaker 1: POLL i don't know WHY i have the giggles. NOW
Speaker 1: i think it's all the penis.
Speaker 2: Joking, yeah that'll do. IT i had one like state.
Speaker 1: IT i was, like no, finish and it just came.
Speaker 2: Up that's what people say to my. Penis can you just?
Speaker 1: Finish oh, god, okay let me take that. Back if
Speaker 1: you want to have a say in the topics we,
Speaker 1: discussed you can join our patreon every Pen what? Happened
Speaker 1: what happened that?
Speaker 2: TIME i don't even know is it the word? Patron
Speaker 2: you want to? Say? Penis every penis gets to. VOTE
Speaker 2: i don't know why they.
Speaker 1: Have seriously here we, go here we. Go there are
Speaker 1: times a charm.
Speaker 2: With my. Penis oh, NO i have the. Yips have the.
Speaker 2: Yips