Speaker 1: You're watching Chewing the Cud is then Smith and Mike
Speaker 1: Benyon Row. Well, I didn't realize you could get that
Speaker 1: service at Charles the Goallt Airport. Hello, you are watching
Speaker 1: Chewing the Cud, your lighthearted weekly look at the world
Speaker 1: through a slightly glittery Clyde scope. I'm Vent Smith and
Speaker 1: with me today is someone who has a very different aesthetic.
Speaker 1: It's Mike Benyon Row. Hold them bid very different. I
Speaker 1: mean you know there's yeah, there's It's quite similar, isn't
Speaker 1: it it? Did you wearing glasses though, I am that's
Speaker 1: all I can see? Well, yeah, I mean I can't
Speaker 1: see anything right?
Speaker 2: Next?
Speaker 1: Should have put on this morning? You're doing better then?
Speaker 1: And what are you bringing us this week?
Speaker 2: Mike?
Speaker 3: Well, this week I'm bringing you a story about an
Speaker 3: unexpected double before getting inspiration from the gods of mediocrity
Speaker 3: and crafty queens.
Speaker 1: And we even have a game you can play it
Speaker 1: along with as well. But on screen now you can
Speaker 1: see our contact details. It's at the cud TV on
Speaker 1: your social media, and if you want to catch up
Speaker 1: with previous episodes, you can always binge us on YouTube
Speaker 1: look for Chewing the Card and you can.
Speaker 3: See the names of people who have reached out and
Speaker 3: touched our souls going along the bottom of the screen.
Speaker 1: But now it's time for then in the showbiz, right,
Speaker 1: showbiz show, I'll work on that theme tune. Okay, thank you.
Speaker 1: So first bit is in the world of Dinosaurs once again. Okay,
Speaker 1: can you guess what I'm talking about? Donald Trump? Yes,
Speaker 1: that's right. Unfortunately Donald Trump is not extinct, but these
Speaker 1: dinosaurs have been have been brought back to life many times.
Speaker 1: I don't really know where we're at now, but anyway,
Speaker 1: there's a new Jurassic World situation Jurassic Park. Jurassic World
Speaker 1: Rebirth has been released and it is featuring a very
Speaker 1: handsome paleontologists by the name of doctor Henry Loomis, who's
Speaker 1: played by the gorgeous Jonathan Bailey. There he is so
Speaker 1: cute in those classes, it's like yours. Well no, not
Speaker 1: really no, so in this film he's teaming up with
Speaker 1: a covert operations expert, Zora Bennett portrayed by Scarlett Johansson.
Speaker 1: Has she been in Jurassic Park before Jurassic World, Jurassic
Speaker 1: seem she was in Avengers Dinosaurs? Yes, she was similar
Speaker 1: but different. Both make believe. Well, let mean, let me
Speaker 1: tell you what is going on. I can tell you're
Speaker 1: keen to know. Set five years after Jurassic World Dominion?
Speaker 1: Do you remember that one? Is that not a place
Speaker 1: sat on the beach? The trio embarks in a mission
Speaker 1: tota in DNA. Once again, I feel that's where all
Speaker 1: the films start and go wrong. Blah blah blah, diwnsairs
Speaker 1: hot people in film? Okay, cool? So whose DNA are
Speaker 1: they after? Jonathan's Jonathan's okay, I could help with that,
Speaker 1: saying okay, and what would be your method of extraction?
Speaker 1: I would would enable him to.
Speaker 3: Words there, I'm going to come out with something very
Speaker 3: witted and very obane, but not.
Speaker 1: Okay Jurassic World everybody, So is it perfectly appropriate to
Speaker 1: go no, no, no, no, because yes, it's yes. I
Speaker 1: was gonna say it. What during sex or well if
Speaker 1: people down the belly? I mean, I don't know if
Speaker 1: there's any sex in in this probably not one.
Speaker 3: Or they tend to do deep meaningful longing looks and kisses, yes.
Speaker 1: Kids, yeah, yeah, and time starts eating people. That's always fun.
Speaker 1: Will they have another person be eaten while having a ship? Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can they really beat that? Can johnthing that scene?
Speaker 3: I mean, I mean you could do other things in
Speaker 3: the toilets. I suppose like like what, I don't know
Speaker 3: what we're up to in Charles to go.
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, moving on, gosh, hot flash of.
Speaker 2: We we.
Speaker 1: It wasn't. We were supposed to be that. I was
Speaker 1: just getting very good service, paid extra. I didn't. Actually
Speaker 1: it was Ryan.
Speaker 3: So you would have paid that graduation for the cabin
Speaker 3: would you like to bring I had to breathe on
Speaker 3: this flight.
Speaker 1: Yes, well that's to ten pounds. Please. I paid for
Speaker 1: something and was quite happy with what came up. So
Speaker 1: we move on before so from films to limited series?
Speaker 1: Are you ever binge watcher? I can't. It's something I
Speaker 1: can binge watching a day. That's the best option for
Speaker 1: mem Okay, well possibly this, I don't know. Are you
Speaker 1: aware of andre Akiman's work? No? Okay, well then maybe
Speaker 1: you will binge, just maybe you won't. There's a novel
Speaker 1: called Enigma Variations and Jeremy alm White is set to
Speaker 1: star as the bisexual protagonist Paul Paul. It's a very
Speaker 1: bland name, Paul, terrible name Paul. Who would have such
Speaker 1: a name? That's Paul there, okay okay, And the series
Speaker 1: is exploring Paul's romantic experiences from adolescence to adulthood, delving
Speaker 1: into relationships with both men and women as bisexuals do
Speaker 1: and what they do all on their own. The adaptation
Speaker 1: is being developed by writer and sure runner Amandicate Schumann.
Speaker 1: There's an Oliver her Man's directing yet to be nice,
Speaker 1: but it's being released. But I don't know from the
Speaker 1: limited information I've given you there will you be binging
Speaker 1: this potentially?
Speaker 3: I mean, what I hate about coming a Bay Stories
Speaker 3: when you go from adolescence is there's a lot of
Speaker 3: really badly done sex, and it's like, not really not
Speaker 3: really into.
Speaker 1: That into badly done sex. You prefer done well, done
Speaker 1: well and efficiently, efficiently mopped up afterwards. No, it's just
Speaker 1: like that whole adolescent the first time you have sex.
Speaker 1: It's silly and weird and embarrassing and awkward, and it's
Speaker 1: never that. It's always like going, this is my first
Speaker 1: time and did that sound again? Bringing back memories? Well,
Speaker 1: maybe you will learn something or maybe we'll be re traumatized. Series.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure what Queer's Folk when it first came
Speaker 1: out taught me how to ring.
Speaker 2: Great?
Speaker 1: Is that really did that team? Because of the shower scene? Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh no, I remember, But it was an instruction manual
Speaker 1: for you. He kind of gave me an idea of
Speaker 1: how to go about it, right, Okay, that's good. Well
Speaker 1: you know Rimming, So it was an instruction manual for you. Well,
Speaker 1: what's an instruction manual? More of a going do this?
Speaker 1: It's fun? And have you been doing it? And has
Speaker 1: it been fun? Yes? Yes? Great? So moving on from that,
Speaker 1: from Dinosaurs to Rimming to the Fantastic Four? Are you
Speaker 1: a Marvel Universe? I like the Fantastic Four?
Speaker 3: Yes, I liked it when it before it, when it
Speaker 3: was the cartoon version, right, but yeah, not.
Speaker 1: So much the real life. Well like what's his face
Speaker 1: with the body? I think one of the crises, I'm
Speaker 1: not sure. Yeah, flame on it like that again, Well,
Speaker 1: there's a new hotty in my eyes for sure. Let's
Speaker 1: see if it's in your eyes? To Pedro Pascal fit? Okay,
Speaker 1: fit fit? So Petta Pascal is coming into me into
Speaker 1: the Fantastic War. Lucky them first steps. So I don't
Speaker 1: believe they've been in it for as far as I know.
Speaker 1: But This one is set in a retro futuristic nineteen
Speaker 1: fifties Manhattan. Oh there we are, and Pedro is Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sorrying as read Richard's or mister Fantastic and the
Speaker 1: fans have been expressing excitement of Pascal's portrayal, particularly noting
Speaker 1: his appearance in both a formal business suit and the
Speaker 1: iconic Fantastic for superhero suit. I guess that's there, but
Speaker 1: I mean it's a very smoldering look we've got there.
Speaker 3: So mister Fantastic is the one that stretches so you
Speaker 3: can make yourself be Wow.
Speaker 1: Ours the fun there literally minutes. Would you prefer him
Speaker 1: or a lover in a business suit or a superhero
Speaker 1: outfit naked? I prefer them, okay, yeah, A bit of
Speaker 1: a traditionalist like that, yeah, very traditionally. Okay, you know,
Speaker 1: it's good to stick to traditional values.
Speaker 2: Everything's a kink.
Speaker 1: Really, who else is going to be in so we
Speaker 1: also have I mean, that's all you care about. But
Speaker 1: there's also Vanessa Kirkby as an invisible woman, Joseph Quinn
Speaker 1: as Human Torch, and Ebon moss Bachrach as the Thing.
Speaker 1: I thought it said, Musk is the thing. Yeah, who
Speaker 1: is the gentleman for the Human Torch Joseph Quinn. That's
Speaker 1: Johnny Storm slash Human Torch. I don't know if we
Speaker 1: have an image. I don't think we do because I
Speaker 1: don't know who to that. I'll just can google it.
Speaker 1: There is a villain called Galactus in this one, portrayed
Speaker 1: by Ralph Innocent, and Julia Garner is also as well.
Speaker 3: Okay, sorry, googling Joseph Quinn found him.
Speaker 1: Oh great, Oh okay, let me so. Yeah, thanks for that.
Speaker 1: Then always going to it's going to be a while.
Speaker 1: That's what mon throw into a quite a position. Ah yeah,
Speaker 1: oh sorry, You're welcome. Mike stay right there. As coming
Speaker 1: up after the short break, we get up to date
Speaker 1: in all sorts of things. As it's Mike in the Buzz,
Speaker 1: welcome back, and you're watching Chewing the Cud and now
Speaker 1: we prepare to be amazed at his google ability as
Speaker 1: it's Mike in the Buzz.
Speaker 3: Is that google ability as in the ability for me
Speaker 3: to google, the ability to find me on Google?
Speaker 1: M I mean, I have Googled you and it's disturbing,
Speaker 1: but accurate. Disturbing the accurate there, Yeah, okay, cool that
Speaker 1: we've said before that you are not a fan of
Speaker 1: sweet things. No phrase was used. It was disgusting and
Speaker 1: needs to be burnt from the earth.
Speaker 3: This is a story about Aldi, okay, and because you
Speaker 3: know they keep getting in trouble with like Marks and
Speaker 3: Spencers for copying their thing.
Speaker 1: It's a caterpillar cake. We invented the caterpillar cake.
Speaker 3: Ali going nah, well this is now they're going to
Speaker 3: head to head with Cabris. Aldi have brought out their
Speaker 3: own version, okay, of a Cabri's favorite. Okay, so you're
Speaker 3: are you aware of Cabria's marvelous creations.
Speaker 1: I am like chocolate bars. I guess that's what I'm
Speaker 1: thinking of.
Speaker 3: It is the chocolate bars with like the popping candy
Speaker 3: and okay, yes, Aldi brought out their own one, right,
Speaker 3: popping candy, popping candy, chocolate right, just quite blatantly ripping
Speaker 3: off Cabris and going sour versions cheaper. Yeah. People are
Speaker 3: trying to say it's better than the Cabri version, right.
Speaker 3: I don't think it's anything to do the fact it's
Speaker 3: like a third of the price.
Speaker 1: Oh this is good, isn't it. I watched it? Oh
Speaker 1: it's better?
Speaker 3: So Ali are basically saying that this is our way
Speaker 3: getting into the market a little bit more coming up
Speaker 3: to Easter, they want to flog more chocolate.
Speaker 1: Right, so they've even put it into an Easter egg.
Speaker 3: Right now, when you put it into an eatregg, normally
Speaker 3: you get an East dregg and it's got a bar
Speaker 3: of chocolate in it.
Speaker 1: Right, This is the actual egg is made of the
Speaker 1: pop and candy chocolate.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: It's a lot popping. It's a lot of popping. It's
Speaker 3: also white chocolate.
Speaker 1: That's the correct reaction to white chocolate. Why, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I used to love it as a kid,
Speaker 1: did nearly addition to be the Milky Bucket. But that's
Speaker 1: not a story for another time. I think that's a
Speaker 1: story for now. In my school, I feel, I feel,
Speaker 1: I don't. I think this is true. But somebody was
Speaker 1: picked to be to audition for the Milk Backet and
Speaker 1: they came in like scouted as And I used to
Speaker 1: have hair, first of all, used to be very blonde,
Speaker 1: So I think I was in the running. But obviously
Speaker 1: look at me now. So in the running, you think
Speaker 1: you're in the running, as in you went to an audition,
Speaker 1: you had a screen test. I think I was scouted,
Speaker 1: but obviously they just decided I was. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's all talented in other ways.
Speaker 3: Say, if an old guy is looking at you as
Speaker 3: a private school, you're not being scouted for an advert.
Speaker 1: Okay, I think we should quite quickly. That's a strange turn.
Speaker 3: Popping candy though, great, yeah you're a fan of popping
Speaker 3: can no, great a lot that idea, but not for me.
Speaker 3: Put in cheese, but moving on from chocolate because you
Speaker 3: know it's not your thing. Okay, how do you unlock your.
Speaker 1: Phone with my face? I hesitate because I think I
Speaker 1: know that's been around for a while, but I think
Speaker 1: I only recently made my phone do that. So when
Speaker 1: you say with your face, you made age him with
Speaker 1: your image rather than just like faces four two classical kiss. Yes, no,
Speaker 1: with my beautiful face a visage. But then sometimes it's
Speaker 1: like and you have to type in the number. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it's like what number?
Speaker 3: Okay, my phone doesn't do that noise, so maybe that's
Speaker 3: a deficiency for my think.
Speaker 1: Well, this is a gentleman who basically took it. It was
Speaker 1: arrested by the police for allegedly dealing drugs. Okay, and
Speaker 1: as part of the police terriers. He said, can you
Speaker 1: unlock your phone so we can see police? And he went, no,
Speaker 1: not giving you a pint code. I'm not going to
Speaker 1: give you a pink code. What you can do? Right,
Speaker 1: So do you know what the police did? Went smile
Speaker 1: and just locked it with his face. Turned out he
Speaker 1: was dealing drugs. This is a gentleman. Was that the picture?
Speaker 1: That's his? That's his face the gallery and feed by
Speaker 1: this gentleman. Indeed, you can unlock my phone any day.
Speaker 1: I mean it's his phone he unlocked with his face,
Speaker 1: not somebody else's.
Speaker 3: That's just what he hasn't got to magic face. This
Speaker 3: face will lock any phone. I mean it will locks
Speaker 3: some people's pants.
Speaker 2: But not fun.
Speaker 3: But it's kind of like sad hot. It's that it's
Speaker 3: just been caught by the police. It's not happy more.
Speaker 1: But in his life this isn't a career highlight as
Speaker 1: a drug dealer, but also like sort of slightly like
Speaker 1: sad hot, like pausing like a model. What is everybody's
Speaker 1: obsession with like criminals and their hotness? What is that?
Speaker 1: I feel like this story happens all the time in
Speaker 1: different countries and different crimes. This seems like a less
Speaker 1: Actually what does he do? He dealing drugs? Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: Thursday night?
Speaker 2: Really in that.
Speaker 3: Victimless drug problem, you know.
Speaker 1: But like it's like, who's the latest hot criminal?
Speaker 3: Basically a couple of years ago, there was a guy
Speaker 3: that was basically he escaped as a violent killer, right,
Speaker 3: and the police released a photo of him right and
Speaker 3: kept out to remind people that he's a violent killer.
Speaker 3: There's all these people going, oh, I'll look after him,
Speaker 3: but I'll hide him.
Speaker 1: He's so hot. Oh yeah, I'm not going looking for
Speaker 1: him now. He's like, no, no, he kills people, don't but
Speaker 1: I'll risk it. Risk I nearly died. Do not follow
Speaker 1: this man.
Speaker 3: You see, people always said watch out what you get
Speaker 3: put into prison.
Speaker 1: I enjoy myself. If you're okay, you're ready for that,
Speaker 1: I'd enjoy myself. Friendly, friendly prisoner, very friendly anyway.
Speaker 3: So yeah, don't approach the criminals people if you do
Speaker 3: decide to try and get one. What was the guy
Speaker 3: that killed the CEO that everyone wanted to Yes, well
Speaker 3: yeah that's like he was hot too, Luigi.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not married, you know like that, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, attractive. We had the internet with bonkers attractive
Speaker 1: but a murderer. Yeah, but yeah, I mean, you know
Speaker 1: it is online dating is hard, so I do, I
Speaker 1: do get it. Sometimes you're gonna look for other means
Speaker 1: and a place lineup might be a sorry, I've just
Speaker 1: got the same which of your your grind the profile?
Speaker 3: So like going to like looking for a ranger criminals
Speaker 3: may apply.
Speaker 1: Send your mug shots to me exactly. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: not safe work pictures accepted, mug shots accepted, not safe
Speaker 1: for work, safe for prison.
Speaker 3: Yeah but yeah, and if like then you want to
Speaker 3: find some rough trade criminals to anyway, why.
Speaker 1: Not share that with us?
Speaker 3: We're at the COO TV on social media and that
Speaker 3: brings us nicely to our story of the week.
Speaker 1: Now it's kind of a similar theme.
Speaker 3: Have you ever gone down to get something and found
Speaker 3: out there was two of them?
Speaker 1: Yes? Sometimes?
Speaker 2: Yeah? About that?
Speaker 1: You know, just items, just items, items in the bagage area, unexpected.
Speaker 1: There's another disclosed, probably loob. Sorry I didn't disclose that.
Speaker 1: This lady in Morrison's right, Okay, so we've moved on,
Speaker 1: we've moved to a different supermarket. Would you say Morrison's
Speaker 1: above You don't get the interesting middle aisle. Where else
Speaker 1: can you go for a pint of a pint of bread,
Speaker 1: pint of bread, and loaf of milk, a loaf of milk, right,
Speaker 1: and come out with a four man canoe in a kayak.
Speaker 1: I mean that is there. This is a.
Speaker 3: Lady who went and basically peeled back the skin of
Speaker 3: her banana and found two shafts of banana.
Speaker 1: Uh wow, oh my god, Well that is a surprise
Speaker 1: for Barbara. Barbara and her bananas. I don't think I
Speaker 1: know was should be.
Speaker 3: Peeled back the skin of the four skin of a banana,
Speaker 3: because that's right, I've got two shafts.
Speaker 1: I mean, does like, does this happen in nature or
Speaker 1: was there like a stuffing incident in the banana factory?
Speaker 1: I don't know how made they grow on a technically
Speaker 1: a berry, what it can happen.
Speaker 3: What I always thought was she was stunned to discover
Speaker 3: right now, that's a girthy banana.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't be that stunned. You know, that's a big
Speaker 1: banana because it's it's very wide. Yeah what yeah? What
Speaker 1: did she was actually one massive banana and there exactly
Speaker 1: which would also be quite like almos a big banana yeah, gosh,
Speaker 1: I mean, did she like, I don't know, did they
Speaker 1: give her a lifetime supply of bananas they said, j
Speaker 1: Or did she she has to pay for another banana?
Speaker 1: I don't buy weight. Yeah, I mean not the same.
Speaker 1: But my mom once fined be very respectful because it's
Speaker 1: your mom. Yeah, just saying my mom wants possibly from
Speaker 1: Morrison to got a bag of crisps which had no
Speaker 1: Christmas it was just filled of air. I realized that's
Speaker 1: quite a segway from what you're to show me. But
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to relate to you. Okay, that's that's
Speaker 1: perfectly fine. I mean, it's it's similar.
Speaker 3: She was unexpected surprising shopping what does she opened things
Speaker 3: and wasn't expecting a big empty sack.
Speaker 1: But that's all the bus this week. Thanks for that, Mike.
Speaker 1: I appreciate going down memory lane of shopping for double items,
Speaker 1: shopping for double enders with you.
Speaker 3: Well, don't go anywhere because coming up after this and
Speaker 3: we have a game with you to play with a
Speaker 3: game of the week. It's a close family.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Tuning the Card with Me, Van Smith
Speaker 1: and Mike Benyon Rowe. Now this part of the show
Speaker 1: is where we play a lovely game and this one
Speaker 1: is for everyone's favorite. Well, I'm not going to say
Speaker 1: that it's Mike so off, You've up accurate. That is
Speaker 1: R's rude day of the week. All right, So over
Speaker 1: to the game now. So Mike is going to play
Speaker 1: some tunes on his kazoo, and I'm going to try
Speaker 1: and guess what they are. It's a new kazoo.
Speaker 3: We've spent money, gold Chat double double chamber kazoo.
Speaker 1: Very impressive. Yeah, got a love wish? Right, are you
Speaker 1: ready for the first one? I am, okay, just give
Speaker 1: me some more. It's very new, very new, very new. Gosh.
Speaker 1: I mean, now you're testing my knowledge of really new stuff?
Speaker 1: Is it Sabrina Carpenter? No, it's a good girl.
Speaker 2: Oh is it a.
Speaker 1: That's what I.
Speaker 2: Mean?
Speaker 1: You basically just told me, But yeah, it was.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to ease you in gent Thank you lovely. Okay,
Speaker 3: next one?
Speaker 2: Mm hmmmm hm, bad boys? Now give me.
Speaker 1: Have you ever released an album though? Wait, this is
Speaker 1: this is one of mine?
Speaker 3: You never released an album that may have a title track.
Speaker 1: Called master Disguise? Oh wait, burn me build this house again?
Speaker 1: Oh apparently build this House again the classic tune by
Speaker 1: me VN. Smith. Yeah, listen to the real version, which
Speaker 1: is not sound like that, which sounds very similar to
Speaker 1: that on iTunes, Spotify, et cetera. Okay, beautiful, thank you.
Speaker 3: Before we started, I said that this is a bad
Speaker 3: version of over game.
Speaker 1: I can't do that. No, I mean no, great, I
Speaker 1: believe in you, at least someone does. I believe in fairies.
Speaker 1: That'sto very homophobic. Next one, then I find it actually
Speaker 1: easier not to look at you. You know what many
Speaker 1: lovers have said the same. Well, the gallery Umbrella Yella
Speaker 1: Ella Ella. Rihanna said it was awful at this game. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: it's good to know. I'm just going to block you out, Okay,
Speaker 1: and that's helpful.
Speaker 2: Great?
Speaker 1: Have you got more for me?
Speaker 3: I do?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: Not looking at you?
Speaker 1: No, that's not that's not the song sad Nelly's sad
Speaker 1: sad sad song. Okay, try try again. M h happy
Speaker 1: Nelly the Elephant, Nellie the Elephant. Yes, a song you've
Speaker 1: already mentioned. Let's Go. You didn't ask me. Do I
Speaker 1: like modern tunes? And that is the level of modern
Speaker 1: tunes I like? Okay? Yeah, okay, mm hmmmm.
Speaker 2: H carry on.
Speaker 1: It's very beautiful. Mm hmmmmm.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmmm.
Speaker 1: That now, mind the best continent it is, Queen. It's
Speaker 1: hooked on the feeling. Oh yeah, that's why I'm not Quinn. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: it's good, very good though mine Pink Pony, Pink Pony
Speaker 1: Club by Chapelle Land, indeed of which recently I did
Speaker 1: a Scottish drag version of that called Pink Hagas Club.
Speaker 1: Just where do we get this there? That's just a
Speaker 1: bit of knowledge for you there, okay, h mm hmmmmm
Speaker 1: hm hm, No, don't know what you're playing on the
Speaker 1: chasi uh used this as a guest Britney Spears Toxic. No,
Speaker 1: you've already used this as a guest earlier on Wait
Speaker 1: what I said I said to Queenen? Okay, before that
Speaker 1: I said, uh ah, I can't remember what I said
Speaker 1: George Michael. I didn't say, George Michael. Sorry. This is
Speaker 1: painful for every it isn't it. Well, it's less painful
Speaker 1: for me, more painful for you. So it's by a
Speaker 1: gentleman called Ben Smith. Oh wait, okay, here we go, right,
Speaker 1: and Master of Disguise, Well, that was Master of Disguise.
Speaker 1: The test track of the album Mastered Deski by VN.
Speaker 1: Smith Yeah, available available on itines, Spotify, and band camp.
Speaker 1: I do appreciate this one. I feel that people who
Speaker 1: don't know my music will be listening to that and think, hah,
Speaker 1: that sounds like a great melody that I'd love to
Speaker 1: hear in a different way. In tune is the phrase
Speaker 1: to look at for them, not on a kazoo in tune,
Speaker 1: but listen. You know, if you can pick it up
Speaker 1: enough to play it on a kazoo that was harsh,
Speaker 1: you could back it up. People that came out more arson.
Speaker 1: I meant it. It's like the old Gray whistle test,
Speaker 1: except the old ball kazoo test. I don't know the
Speaker 1: whistle test is. So I'm just going to move on
Speaker 1: very quickly. What's that called again? That one? What is it?
Speaker 2: Who is it?
Speaker 1: By? Three letters?
Speaker 3: The act is three letters? That the name of the
Speaker 3: song is three letters. So after the thing that the
Speaker 3: main part of the chorus, they go and those bits
Speaker 3: of the three letters.
Speaker 2: H m hm uh.
Speaker 1: I'm more confused now than I was before. Sam by
Speaker 1: Rihanna is everything You're Rihanna. It's apt apt apt by
Speaker 1: Rose and Bruno mush Yeah, yeah, great, I mean love it,
Speaker 1: love it great tube. Do you know Sophia it's Backstu, Yes,
Speaker 1: I do. Is it Sophiel Spetzer Murder and the dance Floor?
Speaker 1: It was? Yes, it was well done.
Speaker 2: Well wow right?
Speaker 1: Is it you making love to Jonathan Bailey in Jurassic Park? No,
Speaker 1: that's why? Oh is that all? It was? The Drassic
Speaker 1: part thing great? I've got dressing bar and Rihanna none
Speaker 1: of my own songs. So what does that say about
Speaker 1: my kazoo play? I would?
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't think look bad.
Speaker 1: Actually, I just struggle to understand songs played for kazoo
Speaker 1: as I'm learning. Okay, that's why I did fire my
Speaker 1: kazoo player from a stadium tour, and I am sorry
Speaker 1: about that. Mike stadium tour, well, thank very much. So
Speaker 1: that's probably enough of that right now. Coming up after
Speaker 1: the short break, we get our craft on in Crafty Queens,
Speaker 1: Welcome Back you are still watching Mike, And then in
Speaker 1: Chewing the Cud No, we learn how to regret eleven
Speaker 1: minutes of life as it's time for Crafty Queens.
Speaker 3: Regretting eleven minutes is a bit harsh, maybe wishing you
Speaker 3: hadn't spent it doing this something different. Do you ever
Speaker 3: have guests surrounding you have them at a dinner table
Speaker 3: kind of situation?
Speaker 1: Yes, I have had guests around the dinner table yet, okay,
Speaker 1: and do you have place mats forum? No, I'm not
Speaker 1: having dinner in the seventies. If you protect your table
Speaker 1: from the scuffing of plates and things, yes, no, you
Speaker 1: do want to protect that nice pattern with the Doiley tablecloth,
Speaker 1: I guess exactly.
Speaker 3: So we're going to be doing something similar called T shirting,
Speaker 3: which is not what I first thought. Well I looked
Speaker 3: at it, not what it is. So in front of
Speaker 3: you you have a T shirt. Yes, okay, well half
Speaker 3: a T shirt. Because so the first thing word to do,
Speaker 3: right is we're going to make this into a yarn.
Speaker 1: Right, okay.
Speaker 3: Now, the easiest way of doing this, okay, is to
Speaker 3: remove all edges, right, so that the double sorde and
Speaker 3: the sleeves.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I have furnaced you with some scissors, so carefully,
Speaker 1: don't lose, don't lose any digits, chop off anything with
Speaker 1: a seam, right. We want this to be seamless, seamless,
Speaker 1: pretty much like this show Seamless I was going to
Speaker 1: make that job. I know you were.
Speaker 2: I beat you to it.
Speaker 1: Okay, so we're getting ready, it seems do you do this?
Speaker 1: Seems surprisingly now.
Speaker 3: Because I live in a world where I can just
Speaker 3: buy things like table mats with your friend table mats. Yeah,
Speaker 3: not to be fair, I don't have to be neat.
Speaker 3: I just have to be neat fine, to be perfectly fair.
Speaker 3: I don't have a way of protecting my table when
Speaker 3: I have people over, because you don't have a table.
Speaker 1: I have a table. It's a solid mahogany ta. And
Speaker 1: I do have friends, Paul. It's just if they scuff it,
Speaker 1: I make them French polish the table again, so they're
Speaker 1: always extra careful. Sounds like fun dinner party around.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, I have friends.
Speaker 1: They choose not to come right. So I'm talking to
Speaker 1: getting rid of the sleeves.
Speaker 3: Basically sleeves, the collar and the tailor bit and the
Speaker 3: tail Yeah, so the bit that.
Speaker 1: You have around your waist normally. Okay, great, because it's
Speaker 1: very exciting. It's thrilling, isn't it. Now? Would you recommend
Speaker 1: any particular type of T shirt before this? Whichever one
Speaker 1: you want to use, old is preferable. Not design it.
Speaker 3: If you've got to be in Westwood T shirt, probably
Speaker 3: don't use that one. Okay, Well, I mean you you've
Speaker 3: seen what I'm wearing today, so I haven't.
Speaker 1: It's not it's not a.
Speaker 3: Point where we had a conversation about what you could
Speaker 3: actually wear because the T shirt may or may not
Speaker 3: be legal. Yes, I do it to wear legal T shirts.
Speaker 3: Many many pitchs and penises on there. Okay, Now, weird
Speaker 3: shipped thing. We have a weir shape thing. We want strips, right, okay,
Speaker 3: thin strips.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: Now I'm going to suggest the way to do this
Speaker 3: is to roll up your T shirt. So you have
Speaker 3: to make small puts. Okay, So roll it up into
Speaker 3: a sausage. Okay, okay, rolling into a sausage into a sausage.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, So what's going on here. It's like a pastry.
Speaker 1: Like like a pastry. It's like so, now, if we're
Speaker 1: making a class on would fold it up, but we're
Speaker 1: not doing it. Okay, So fortunately that would be nice.
Speaker 1: Everyone's thankful for making page of that T shirts.
Speaker 3: Now at the end, you'll have different lengths, yes, okay,
Speaker 3: So I suggest you're cut in the middle first, right, okay,
Speaker 3: just a big just cut all the way down cut. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 3: and then you want to cut out rings. You want
Speaker 3: to cut out rings, good taut rings. Let's get you
Speaker 3: through your first cut first.
Speaker 1: I can't I can't get my ring. Okay, so you
Speaker 1: take your time. There's no rush. I feel like you've
Speaker 1: give me dodgery scissords.
Speaker 2: I used anyway.
Speaker 3: And now what we're going to do is we're going
Speaker 3: to cut rings. So yeah, we're going to just take
Speaker 3: take maybe sent to me two of a ring.
Speaker 1: And just cut. Okay, you might get a serrated ring. Okayever,
Speaker 1: whatever gets you through. I've ruined my ring.
Speaker 2: You've ruined your ring.
Speaker 1: The first time you've said that in it? No apparently okay, wait, okay,
Speaker 1: I mean did you just this is a bit to
Speaker 1: work better? Like this will hells? This is difficult. Ruined
Speaker 1: it a fantasy sausage roll or a Swiss roll. When
Speaker 1: I was a fact kid, I used to eat a
Speaker 1: Swiss roll just out the wrapit I just was a
Speaker 1: bar of chocolates.
Speaker 3: Great, okay, So so it needs to be about remember
Speaker 3: me saying one to two centimeters of T shirt.
Speaker 1: Is mind a bit thick? Yeah, but never mind. So
Speaker 1: what you want to do is you want to unfurl
Speaker 1: your ring. Yeah okay, I want you to fill it,
Speaker 1: give it a tug mm hmm okay, and then.
Speaker 3: What you'll say is that it goes into a tube. Okay,
Speaker 3: So you want to do that a couple of times
Speaker 3: because you want a couple of these, you're right, okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: that's quite nice. It's fun of mate, what's going on?
Speaker 3: Magic looks like spaghetti?
Speaker 1: It does?
Speaker 3: It looks a bit like spaghetti, say, because and because
Speaker 3: we would not have to be too.
Speaker 1: Delicate, because that the raw edges go in on themselves. Right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've not been delegate, no I saw, but you know
Speaker 1: you're this is like artisanal one. It's like you can
Speaker 1: tell that's from me. Okay.
Speaker 3: So what you want to do is you want to
Speaker 3: take your strength and have them halves. Let this right,
Speaker 3: so one strand and a half to just pinch the.
Speaker 1: Middle and laid down. M hmmm mm hmm. Okay.
Speaker 3: Now what you want to do is you want to
Speaker 3: take another one that you've done in half like that,
Speaker 3: m okay, and then you want.
Speaker 1: To go over and under over and under over and
Speaker 1: mm hmm. Okay. So the easiest way of doing that
Speaker 1: is to just lift up one laid down lift that, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: just turning around to one mm hmmmm mm hmm. Okay,
Speaker 1: and then the one you just put through you want
Speaker 1: to go under the one you just get over. Didn't
Speaker 1: say exciting said crafty crafty queen crafts is exciting kids, no, right, okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Now you've gone quite thick with yours, okay, whereas
Speaker 3: I have it. So I'm going to be able to
Speaker 3: do another run on this one, yes, right, whereas you
Speaker 3: have to use a different.
Speaker 1: Right yeah, different stands quite cursing okay. And then you
Speaker 1: just keep repeating that action over and over and.
Speaker 3: Over under okay, and this is for a dinner party,
Speaker 3: and this is this is a place map for a
Speaker 3: dinner party for.
Speaker 1: Tiny goblin, tiny goblin, yes, m okay okay. And then
Speaker 1: you just keep repeating that all the way along. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: And so what you start to end up with is
Speaker 1: place back look at that.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: The more the more that you do, the bigger than
Speaker 1: see yours is because it's quite junky. You've gone a
Speaker 1: lot further than I have. Well, thank you, but that's
Speaker 1: the idea.
Speaker 3: And then you can just have that on your table
Speaker 3: with it, and it protects your table from slightly cross
Speaker 3: and it's a talking point. Is a talking point like
Speaker 3: what the why eat my dinner off an old T shirt?
Speaker 1: This is a T shirt that was a cover rack
Speaker 1: and chopped up into little pieces and rewoven into a place. Matt,
Speaker 1: I want to come home for dinner. I don't see
Speaker 1: why not.
Speaker 3: I remember, if you can't get any pin, any vision
Speaker 3: or anything else in between, you could be a crafty queen.
Speaker 3: So yeah, so you could keep going. We run out
Speaker 3: of time.
Speaker 1: But if you keep going, of course you get bigger
Speaker 1: and better, right, yes, And then he said, interestingly, you
Speaker 1: could you could diet as well. You know, I was
Speaker 1: just thinking ahead, getting into the crafty zone. You can
Speaker 1: dip it in some sheep, dip petrol petrol tears. Oh,
Speaker 1: there's plenty of tears. And then yeah, Jenner party, sorry indeed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Well that's all. What's the end of the show for
Speaker 1: this week. Don't forget.
Speaker 3: You can see our information on at the Coude TV
Speaker 3: on all social media, and if you want to catch
Speaker 3: up with the previous episodes you can do on YouTube.
Speaker 1: Just search for you in the cud thank you for
Speaker 1: watching and we will see you all soon. Bye bye
Speaker 1: bye bye bye bye bye. Well, this is a delight.
Speaker 1: End it all, end it all. Yeah,