WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.200 --> 00:00:03.279 We all know we're imperfect. But we say to God, God, 2 00:00:03.319 --> 00:00:06.740 we're going to trust you. And when you come to 3 00:00:06.780 --> 00:00:10.470 Christ and you say, you're going to take my sins 4 00:00:10.570 --> 00:00:13.289 on you? Yeah. What are you giving me in return? 5 00:00:13.449 --> 00:00:17.670 My goodness. You don't have to beg. Please, God, please, 6 00:00:17.730 --> 00:00:20.390 please save me. You don't have to bargain. If you'll 7 00:00:20.410 --> 00:00:23.269 do this, God, then I'll do that. You don't have 8 00:00:23.289 --> 00:00:27.760 to bribe. I'll read my Bible every day. You just believe. 9 00:00:28.719 --> 00:00:32.179 That's it. That's why it's called the good news. Now 10 00:00:32.200 --> 00:00:35.939 he says he restores my soul. What does that mean? First, 11 00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:39.399 what's your soul? What is your soul? Well the Bible 12 00:00:39.439 --> 00:00:43.250 says that you have a spirit, you have a soul, 13 00:00:43.710 --> 00:00:46.890 and you have a body. Just like the tabernacle and 14 00:00:46.909 --> 00:00:49.329 the temple were a three part dwelling place of God, 15 00:00:49.350 --> 00:00:52.049 the inner court, the outer court, and the Holy of Holies, 16 00:00:52.570 --> 00:00:55.789 God dwells in you in three parts, in your spirit, 17 00:00:56.140 --> 00:00:58.960 in your soul and in your body. What's the difference 18 00:00:59.000 --> 00:01:04.219 between your spirit and your soul? Well, the Bible even 19 00:01:04.280 --> 00:01:06.920 says itself that only the Bible can discern the difference. 20 00:01:07.420 --> 00:01:10.530 That it is the word of God that is sharper 21 00:01:10.569 --> 00:01:14.370 than a two-edged sword dividing even asunder a soul and spirit. 22 00:01:15.189 --> 00:01:16.629 And so I don't wanna get into that, but I 23 00:01:16.670 --> 00:01:18.909 do wanna tell you what your soul is. Your soul 24 00:01:19.230 --> 00:01:23.060 is your mind, it is your will, and it is 25 00:01:23.079 --> 00:01:25.400 your motion. So why don't you write this down if 26 00:01:25.420 --> 00:01:28.420 you're taking notes, my soul is the part of me 27 00:01:28.719 --> 00:01:34.900 that thinks, chooses, and feels. My soul is the part 28 00:01:34.920 --> 00:01:38.859 of me that thinks, that chooses, and that feels. It's 29 00:01:38.900 --> 00:01:42.420 your mind, it's your will, and your emotion. Now if 30 00:01:42.439 --> 00:01:44.189 you don't have a soul, you don't have a whole lot. 31 00:01:44.969 --> 00:01:48.370 But these three parts of who you are, the way 32 00:01:48.409 --> 00:01:51.549 you think, the way you feel, and the choices that 33 00:01:51.590 --> 00:01:54.799 you make, your mind, will, and your emotions, really determine 34 00:01:54.980 --> 00:01:59.060 who you are. And it's very easy to get these damaged. 35 00:01:59.340 --> 00:02:03.189 Can your mind be damaged? Of course it can, yeah, 36 00:02:03.500 --> 00:02:09.310 by what you put in it, by experiences, by trauma, chemistry, 37 00:02:09.370 --> 00:02:11.490 all kinds of things, your mind can be damaged. You 38 00:02:11.530 --> 00:02:15.330 don't always think straight, and neither do I. And how 39 00:02:15.370 --> 00:02:19.740 about your emotions? Can your emotions be damaged? Yes. Your 40 00:02:19.759 --> 00:02:23.650 emotions can get raw, that you can get depleted emotionally, 41 00:02:23.939 --> 00:02:26.930 you can be out of emotion, you could be over emotional. 42 00:02:27.650 --> 00:02:31.689 And yes, our minds are broken, our emotions are broken, 43 00:02:31.789 --> 00:02:35.169 and actually, can your will be broken? Yes. Can it 44 00:02:35.210 --> 00:02:38.669 be damaged? Yes. Have you ever had a chance to 45 00:02:39.050 --> 00:02:41.409 look at your life and you think, I really know 46 00:02:41.449 --> 00:02:44.439 the right thing to do, and I wanna do the 47 00:02:44.479 --> 00:02:48.250 right thing, but I never do choose it. Because our 48 00:02:48.370 --> 00:02:53.530 choosers are broken. Our choosers are broken. We're all flawed 49 00:02:53.729 --> 00:02:56.569 in many ways, and that's why there are addictions, and 50 00:02:56.590 --> 00:02:58.629 that's why you do things that you don't wanna do, 51 00:02:59.069 --> 00:03:01.000 and you don't do things that you wanna do. That's 52 00:03:01.080 --> 00:03:04.120 part of your willpower doesn't always work. How many of 53 00:03:04.159 --> 00:03:07.400 you agree willpower doesn't always work? Yeah, right. And so 54 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:09.860 when we talk about our soul, the way we think, 55 00:03:09.900 --> 00:03:12.240 the way we feel, and the way we choose, the 56 00:03:12.280 --> 00:03:16.990 decisions that we make, God says, I want to restore 57 00:03:17.050 --> 00:03:19.780 that in your life. I want to restore you to wholeness. 58 00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:22.780 I want to restore your mind and will and emotions 59 00:03:22.840 --> 00:03:25.939 to health. That's one of the things the good shepherd 60 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:28.719 does for the sheep. The Lord is my shepherd. I 61 00:03:28.759 --> 00:03:31.379 have everything I need. Well, sometimes I need to think straighter. 62 00:03:31.659 --> 00:03:34.569 And sometimes I need to feel correctly because my emotions 63 00:03:34.629 --> 00:03:38.469 aren't always right. Sometimes they lie. And sometimes I need 64 00:03:38.509 --> 00:03:42.449 my will fixed because I don't have enough willpower to 65 00:03:42.469 --> 00:03:46.900 do what I need to do. Now, what is it 66 00:03:46.939 --> 00:03:49.000 that damages your soul? What I want us to do 67 00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:52.520 this weekend is ask a couple questions. What damages our soul? 68 00:03:52.539 --> 00:03:55.780 Because you can't get it restored unless you know what's 69 00:03:55.840 --> 00:03:59.300 causing the problem. What damages my soul? We'll look at that. 70 00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:03.740 And then we're going to look at what Jesus does 71 00:04:03.780 --> 00:04:07.960 to restore it. How does Jesus restore? Right thinking, right feeling, 72 00:04:08.240 --> 00:04:11.340 and right deciding. And then finally, we'll look at, just 73 00:04:11.539 --> 00:04:15.389 very briefly, how do I make of the right decisions 74 00:04:15.550 --> 00:04:18.709 to let my soul be restored. In other words, what's 75 00:04:18.750 --> 00:04:21.790 my response to what God wants to do in my life, okay? Now, 76 00:04:22.110 --> 00:04:24.910 let's begin with what is it that damages your soul? 77 00:04:24.970 --> 00:04:26.930 Why don't you always think right? Why don't you always 78 00:04:26.990 --> 00:04:29.970 feel right? And why don't you always choose right? There 79 00:04:29.990 --> 00:04:32.480 are many things that could damage your soul, but I 80 00:04:32.519 --> 00:04:36.420 wanna focus on the three most common. Three most common, 81 00:04:36.439 --> 00:04:38.980 you might write these down. Number one, the first thing 82 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:41.120 that damages the way you think, the way you feel, 83 00:04:41.139 --> 00:04:45.639 and the way you decide is under or unaddressed grudges. 84 00:04:46.639 --> 00:04:51.860 Unaddressed grudges. When you get resentful, when you get bitter, 85 00:04:52.360 --> 00:04:55.430 when you start thinking about retaliation or revenge in somebody 86 00:04:55.449 --> 00:04:59.269 who's hurt you, it damages your soul. Now there are 87 00:04:59.290 --> 00:05:01.949 a lot of verses about this, but let me first 88 00:05:01.990 --> 00:05:04.709 talk about the background. The fact is in life, you're 89 00:05:04.730 --> 00:05:09.240 gonna be hurt. Why? This is not heaven, this is earth. 90 00:05:10.180 --> 00:05:13.560 And we're all broken people, we're all imperfect, Sometimes we 91 00:05:13.620 --> 00:05:17.220 hurt each other intentionally. Sometimes we hurt each other unintentionally. 92 00:05:17.439 --> 00:05:19.480 But the truth is, you're gonna be hurt in life. 93 00:05:21.019 --> 00:05:24.720 And sometimes people hurt you, and sometimes you hurt them. 94 00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:28.579 And so when that happens, we start to build up grudges. 95 00:05:29.529 --> 00:05:32.649 Now let me just start at the bedrock. Life is 96 00:05:32.689 --> 00:05:35.110 not fair. God never said that life would be fair. 97 00:05:35.670 --> 00:05:38.769 This is not heaven, where everything is done perfectly. God's 98 00:05:38.810 --> 00:05:43.410 will is always done instantly, perfectly, and completely. A lot 99 00:05:43.449 --> 00:05:45.750 of times we choose not to do God's will. That's 100 00:05:45.790 --> 00:05:50.110 called sin. And because life is unfair, the Bible tells 101 00:05:50.170 --> 00:05:53.769 us that innocent people suffer. This is not something new. 102 00:05:53.850 --> 00:05:57.790 Everybody can see it. That good guys don't always win. 103 00:05:58.189 --> 00:06:01.850 Bad guys often are successful. That there is injustice in 104 00:06:01.889 --> 00:06:04.170 the world. There's racism in the world. There's prejudice in 105 00:06:04.189 --> 00:06:09.500 the world. There is unfairness in the world. And every 106 00:06:09.600 --> 00:06:13.220 one of us in different ways have experienced unfairness or 107 00:06:14.040 --> 00:06:18.199 prejudicial treatment against you in some way and you shouldn't 108 00:06:18.519 --> 00:06:21.939 be surprised by that because the world is broken, everything 109 00:06:22.019 --> 00:06:25.670 is broken. What I'm interested in is not so much 110 00:06:26.509 --> 00:06:28.089 the fact that you're gonna be hurt in life, I'm 111 00:06:28.149 --> 00:06:31.310 sorry for it, but what I'm more interested in is 112 00:06:31.769 --> 00:06:35.430 how you respond to it. Because your response to how 113 00:06:35.490 --> 00:06:39.199 you get hurt in life is far more important than 114 00:06:39.360 --> 00:06:43.029 the hurt you have. Because they can either make you 115 00:06:43.389 --> 00:06:48.009 bitter or they can make you better. And when God 116 00:06:48.050 --> 00:06:50.779 wants to restore your soul, he wants to take all 117 00:06:50.800 --> 00:06:53.500 of the bitter things in your life and turn them 118 00:06:53.560 --> 00:06:56.540 into better things in your life. We'll come to that 119 00:06:56.560 --> 00:07:00.579 in just a minute. Now when you have grudges, when 120 00:07:00.620 --> 00:07:03.120 people hurt you, you can either let it go or 121 00:07:04.319 --> 00:07:06.730 you can start dwelling on it and stewing and spewing 122 00:07:06.769 --> 00:07:11.240 and worrying about all things. You start planning how to retaliate, 123 00:07:11.279 --> 00:07:13.779 how to resent them, how to get even with them. 124 00:07:14.379 --> 00:07:19.889 When you, somebody hurts you, that puts them beneath you 125 00:07:20.310 --> 00:07:23.029 morally when they hurt you. But when you try to 126 00:07:23.050 --> 00:07:25.089 get even, it just puts you on the same level. 127 00:07:25.290 --> 00:07:27.410 You're no better than they are. When you let it go, 128 00:07:27.430 --> 00:07:29.639 when you forgive them, it actually puts you in a 129 00:07:29.680 --> 00:07:32.199 superior position. You don't want to ever get even with 130 00:07:32.220 --> 00:07:35.259 people because that means you're the same as they are. 131 00:07:35.839 --> 00:07:37.879 If you get even with them, you're no better than 132 00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:42.410 they are. So what do you do when you're hurt? Resent? Retaliate? 133 00:07:43.110 --> 00:07:45.910 Seek revenge? No. No you don't. Let me show you why. 134 00:07:45.930 --> 00:07:49.649 A couple verses. Job 5 verse 2 says this. To 135 00:07:49.730 --> 00:07:53.009 worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, 136 00:07:53.389 --> 00:07:57.310 senseless thing to do. And in Job 18 verse 4 137 00:07:57.310 --> 00:08:01.129 it says this. You're only hurting yourself with your anger. 138 00:08:03.490 --> 00:08:06.149 You're only hurting yourself. We've talked about this many times. 139 00:08:07.129 --> 00:08:10.350 That when you When you hold onto a grudge, it's 140 00:08:10.389 --> 00:08:13.600 not hurting them. It's only hurting you. They're out there 141 00:08:13.620 --> 00:08:16.180 having a good time. They're watching movies. They're going to 142 00:08:16.220 --> 00:08:19.259 nice restaurants. They're going to ball games. They're having a 143 00:08:19.259 --> 00:08:22.579 whole lot of fun. They're totally oblivious. Who gets hurt 144 00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:26.769 when you're resentful? You do. It's like drinking poison and 145 00:08:26.790 --> 00:08:32.889 hoping it kills them. It's like taking fire into your 146 00:08:32.929 --> 00:08:36.789 stomach or your chest and hoping they get burned. Resentment 147 00:08:36.889 --> 00:08:39.200 is worthless. He says to worry yourself to death with 148 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:43.679 resentment would be a foolish thing to do. Now the 149 00:08:43.700 --> 00:08:46.139 Bible does say that one day God's gonna even the score. 150 00:08:46.659 --> 00:08:49.240 The Bible says that there is a judgment day and 151 00:08:49.279 --> 00:08:52.379 that God is not just a loving God, he's a 152 00:08:52.419 --> 00:08:55.450 just God. If God was not a just God, people 153 00:08:55.470 --> 00:08:59.029 like Hitler could get away with everything they did. I'm 154 00:08:59.070 --> 00:09:01.789 glad that God is a just God. Now you can 155 00:09:01.809 --> 00:09:05.309 get around that judgment by accepting the grace of God 156 00:09:05.980 --> 00:09:09.730 and accepting the salvation that Jesus Christ paid for your sins. 157 00:09:10.120 --> 00:09:13.570 But there's gonna be a judgment day for everybody. And 158 00:09:13.610 --> 00:09:17.830 God is gonna be just in measuring out what people 159 00:09:17.870 --> 00:09:23.389 deserve based on their sinfulness. God says, I don't want 160 00:09:23.409 --> 00:09:24.940 you to have to go through the judgment. God doesn't 161 00:09:24.980 --> 00:09:28.340 like to judge. He likes to show mercy. All through scripture, 162 00:09:28.600 --> 00:09:34.210 God is very patient. And God is very... reluctant to 163 00:09:34.259 --> 00:09:36.909 judge and he'll wait and wait and wait and wait 164 00:09:37.149 --> 00:09:39.830 before he judges a nation or a person, things like that. 165 00:09:39.870 --> 00:09:45.350 He'd rather be merciful. But there is a judgment coming 166 00:09:45.509 --> 00:09:47.450 one day and God is gonna even the odds and 167 00:09:47.490 --> 00:09:53.929 people who were mistreated and misjudged and treated unfairly, there 168 00:09:53.970 --> 00:10:00.360 will be an equaling out, a time of justice. But 169 00:10:00.399 --> 00:10:02.980 that's not your job. If you try to show justice 170 00:10:03.019 --> 00:10:05.580 yourself and you take matters into your hands and get revenge, 171 00:10:05.720 --> 00:10:07.899 God says, fine, that's all we're going to do on that. 172 00:10:09.240 --> 00:10:11.720 So what do you do in the meantime? You let 173 00:10:11.779 --> 00:10:14.289 it go. You say, but Rick, you don't know how 174 00:10:14.309 --> 00:10:18.029 much they've hurt me. You let it Why? Not because 175 00:10:18.049 --> 00:10:20.809 they deserve it. They don't. You don't deserve to be forgiven. 176 00:10:21.889 --> 00:10:24.279 You don't deserve to be forgiven at all either. But 177 00:10:24.320 --> 00:10:27.559 God has forgiven you. You forgive people not because they 178 00:10:27.600 --> 00:10:32.639 deserve it. You forgive people because you don't wanna carry 179 00:10:32.659 --> 00:10:35.159 the pain around anymore. You don't wanna be stuck with 180 00:10:35.370 --> 00:10:39.490 unaddressed grudges. Because it's not gonna hurt them, it's only 181 00:10:39.509 --> 00:10:42.870 gonna hurt you. You know, Martin Luther King once said, 182 00:10:43.330 --> 00:10:48.090 bitterness is blindness. Bitterness is blindness. And I like that 183 00:10:48.149 --> 00:10:53.149 because when I get bitter against somebody over here, I 184 00:10:53.169 --> 00:10:54.830 get blind to a whole lot of other things. I 185 00:10:54.850 --> 00:10:57.070 get blind to how much God has done good in 186 00:10:57.110 --> 00:11:00.889 my life. I get blind to the truth. I get 187 00:11:00.929 --> 00:11:04.669 blind to all the needs of people around me. I'll 188 00:11:04.710 --> 00:11:08.009 just say this. You're never gonna stop hurting. Your soul 189 00:11:08.049 --> 00:11:11.870 will not be restored until you learn to forgive and 190 00:11:11.909 --> 00:11:14.509 let it go. You gotta drop it. We'll come back 191 00:11:14.529 --> 00:11:17.919 to that in a minute. The second thing that destroys 192 00:11:17.940 --> 00:11:22.539 your soul from the inside, I said first unaddressed grudges, 193 00:11:22.779 --> 00:11:28.850 the second is unconfessed guilt. Grudges and guilt are two 194 00:11:28.870 --> 00:11:35.049 of the biggest things that warp your soul. And grudges 195 00:11:35.470 --> 00:11:37.450 have to do with what people have done to you, 196 00:11:38.149 --> 00:11:41.230 and guilt is what you've done to other people. And 197 00:11:41.269 --> 00:11:43.789 we have both, we've hurt others and other people have 198 00:11:43.879 --> 00:11:50.309 hurt us. And so, unconfessed guilt, nothing damages your life more, 199 00:11:50.350 --> 00:11:54.470 your soul more. Nothing will rob your happiness quicker than 200 00:11:54.490 --> 00:11:58.029 to go around carrying a load of guilt. A lot 201 00:11:58.070 --> 00:12:00.409 of people have a misconception of God. They think that 202 00:12:00.450 --> 00:12:03.309 God wants us to walk around feeling guilty. He does not. 203 00:12:04.450 --> 00:12:07.879 God hates guilt. In fact, God loves to forgive guilt. 204 00:12:08.159 --> 00:12:10.220 God doesn't want you to be guilty all the time. 205 00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:13.080 In fact, he didn't make your body to handle guilt. 206 00:12:14.759 --> 00:12:17.200 You should only handle guilt for about five seconds. That's 207 00:12:17.259 --> 00:12:19.559 long enough to realize that was wrong and I confessed 208 00:12:19.600 --> 00:12:22.360 it to God and I let it go. You don't 209 00:12:22.879 --> 00:12:26.940 carry all your sins around in your life unconfessed. If 210 00:12:26.980 --> 00:12:30.139 you do that, it's like carrying a garbage bag of 211 00:12:30.279 --> 00:12:34.519 junk with you into the each new year. Many years ago, 212 00:12:34.919 --> 00:12:37.299 I remember there was a couple in our church who, 213 00:12:37.519 --> 00:12:40.000 they were singles and they found each other in our 214 00:12:40.039 --> 00:12:43.750 church and they got married. And that's when the church 215 00:12:43.789 --> 00:12:45.889 was much smaller and I actually was able to do 216 00:12:45.909 --> 00:12:50.559 their wedding. About 10 years later, they came back and 217 00:12:51.059 --> 00:12:52.759 they said, can we take you out to dinner? And 218 00:12:52.779 --> 00:12:54.539 we had a dinner with them and I said, so 219 00:12:54.559 --> 00:12:57.500 tell me what's happened in the last 10 years. And 220 00:12:57.519 --> 00:12:59.799 I remember the woman told me, she said, you know, Rick, 221 00:13:00.419 --> 00:13:03.649 I never realized that when I was walking down that 222 00:13:03.809 --> 00:13:07.610 aisle in that beautiful white dress that I was carrying 223 00:13:07.629 --> 00:13:12.539 a sack of garbage with me into this marriage. We 224 00:13:12.610 --> 00:13:18.250 all do that. Now listen closely. Marriage does not create problems. 225 00:13:19.389 --> 00:13:23.970 It reveals them. It reveals them. And the things that 226 00:13:24.009 --> 00:13:26.090 need correcting in your life show up real quick when 227 00:13:26.129 --> 00:13:29.889 somebody else is living with you. And what needs correcting 228 00:13:29.929 --> 00:13:31.970 in their life shows up real quick when they live 229 00:13:32.009 --> 00:13:37.259 with you. Marriage doesn't create problems. It reveals things that 230 00:13:37.299 --> 00:13:40.059 need to be worked on. And the purpose of marriage 231 00:13:40.120 --> 00:13:42.919 is not just to make you happy. It's to make 232 00:13:42.940 --> 00:13:47.080 you holy. And the number one tool, if you're married, 233 00:13:47.120 --> 00:13:49.000 the number one tool that God uses in your life 234 00:13:49.240 --> 00:13:55.820 is your spouse. You say, oh, brother. My spouse isn't 235 00:13:55.860 --> 00:13:58.659 even a believer. Doesn't matter. God will still use them 236 00:13:59.100 --> 00:14:03.919 in your life. And so we start having guilt over 237 00:14:03.990 --> 00:14:06.509 all of the things that we've done to other people. 238 00:14:06.570 --> 00:14:09.789 Look at this verse, Psalm 38. David talks about guilt. 239 00:14:09.850 --> 00:14:14.250 He says, my guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden 240 00:14:14.279 --> 00:14:16.429 too heavy to bear. God doesn't want you to carry 241 00:14:16.470 --> 00:14:22.009 that around. I'm bowed below, down, and I'm brought low, 242 00:14:22.269 --> 00:14:27.230 and all day long, I go about mourning. Now there's 243 00:14:27.269 --> 00:14:30.480 a couple problems with guilt. One of them is, every 244 00:14:30.529 --> 00:14:31.850 one of us have a good reason to have it. 245 00:14:32.500 --> 00:14:35.600 It's legit, because we don't always do what's right. We 246 00:14:35.679 --> 00:14:39.159 always hurt other people, we do selfish things. I don't 247 00:14:39.179 --> 00:14:40.779 know if it bothers you, but it bothers me, I 248 00:14:40.840 --> 00:14:44.519 often say, The most unkind things to the people I 249 00:14:44.559 --> 00:14:48.789 love the most. I'm just being honest with you. That 250 00:14:48.950 --> 00:14:50.950 ever happen to any of you? Or are you all 251 00:14:50.990 --> 00:14:55.529 so holy? Oh no, I never say anything mean to 252 00:14:55.570 --> 00:15:02.879 my kids or my spouse. Yeah, right. Yeah. Why is that? 253 00:15:03.080 --> 00:15:07.240 Because at root, we're selfish. I want what I want 254 00:15:07.620 --> 00:15:10.379 when I want it and your spouse wants what they 255 00:15:10.440 --> 00:15:14.480 want when they want it. And when two very self-centered 256 00:15:14.500 --> 00:15:20.019 people hit together, it's gonna cause problems. And that creates guilt. 257 00:15:20.259 --> 00:15:22.379 And you cannot have two imperfect people and all of 258 00:15:22.399 --> 00:15:25.039 a sudden they're going in the same direction and they're 259 00:15:25.059 --> 00:15:28.299 gonna create a perfect relationship. There are no perfect relationships. 260 00:15:28.899 --> 00:15:33.139 And that's why we need forgiveness. Because unconfessed guilt causes 261 00:15:33.210 --> 00:15:35.850 a lot of problem. Now look at this verse. Proverbs 262 00:15:35.850 --> 00:15:40.090 20 verse 27 tells us the other reason why we 263 00:15:40.129 --> 00:15:42.279 have problem with guilt. It's because we run from our 264 00:15:42.559 --> 00:15:47.399 own consciences. Proverbs 20, verse 27. The Lord gave us 265 00:15:47.539 --> 00:15:53.129 a mind and a conscience. And we can't hide from ourselves. 266 00:15:54.830 --> 00:15:57.870 You see, you can hide all kinds of stuff from me. 267 00:15:58.929 --> 00:16:01.090 And I'll never know about it. You might even hide 268 00:16:01.110 --> 00:16:04.549 a whole bunch of things from a friend or your 269 00:16:04.570 --> 00:16:08.549 boss or your spouse or your kids. But you're not 270 00:16:08.590 --> 00:16:11.250 hiding anything from God And not only that, you're not 271 00:16:11.289 --> 00:16:15.149 hiding anything from yourself. And when you try to hide it, 272 00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:20.019 it just starts eating you on the inside. Because the 273 00:16:20.059 --> 00:16:21.980 Lord gave us a mind and a conscience. We can't 274 00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:24.159 hide from ourselves. And if you think, well, you know, 275 00:16:24.179 --> 00:16:27.419 I just feel bad. I'm gonna go to, you know, 276 00:16:27.440 --> 00:16:32.039 take a vacation. But you take yourself on vacation. And 277 00:16:32.100 --> 00:16:34.620 so you take that same stress that's in your mind. 278 00:16:34.990 --> 00:16:37.690 The grudges you have toward other people and the guilt 279 00:16:37.730 --> 00:16:40.720 that you have about the stuff you've done wrong Now, 280 00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:45.360 what do you do with guilt? What do you do 281 00:16:45.379 --> 00:16:47.899 with guilt? Well, the answer is the same thing as grudges, 282 00:16:48.259 --> 00:16:51.259 and it's forgiveness. In grudges, you gotta forgive them, but 283 00:16:51.320 --> 00:16:54.539 in guilt, you've gotta ask God for forgiveness, then you 284 00:16:54.559 --> 00:16:58.870 gotta forgive yourself. Now, normally, we do everything except that. 285 00:16:59.509 --> 00:17:01.929 Let me show you all the ways that don't work, 286 00:17:02.330 --> 00:17:05.029 and why our soul, the way we think, the way 287 00:17:05.069 --> 00:17:08.769 we feel, and the way we choose, is often broken, 288 00:17:09.450 --> 00:17:13.400 because when you or feel guilty, you don't make smart decisions. 289 00:17:14.319 --> 00:17:17.220 And neither do I. Now, sometimes we just try to 290 00:17:17.279 --> 00:17:20.559 deny our guilt. We just pretend like it doesn't exist. 291 00:17:21.160 --> 00:17:23.720 You know, it's like those T-shirts we have in Celebrate Recovery, 292 00:17:23.759 --> 00:17:29.640 denial is not a river in Egypt. Denial is the 293 00:17:29.680 --> 00:17:33.279 thing that keeps you stuck in your guilt. And what 294 00:17:33.299 --> 00:17:34.940 we do in denial is we just try to pretend 295 00:17:34.980 --> 00:17:37.480 that it doesn't exist, and we say, you know, I'm 296 00:17:37.500 --> 00:17:40.160 just gonna bury my past. You know what the problem 297 00:17:40.180 --> 00:17:43.099 with burying your past? It resurrects itself at the most 298 00:17:43.240 --> 00:17:49.420 inopportune times. And it comes back. And it resurrects and 299 00:17:49.440 --> 00:17:51.640 it comes back to haunt you like the living dead. 300 00:17:52.440 --> 00:17:54.559 And something that happened 20 years ago, all of a sudden, 301 00:17:54.940 --> 00:17:58.359 it's back in your face again. So denial doesn't work. 302 00:17:58.799 --> 00:18:01.680 Sometimes we just try to minimize it. And when we 303 00:18:01.720 --> 00:18:04.700 minimize our guilt, it's kind of like, well, it's no 304 00:18:04.759 --> 00:18:09.059 big deal. I mean, everybody else does it. You know, 305 00:18:09.490 --> 00:18:13.059 it wasn't that bad. It's just a little teeny, tiny, teeny, 306 00:18:13.220 --> 00:18:16.880 tiny sin. Well, if it's so tiny, why do you 307 00:18:16.900 --> 00:18:21.460 still remember it? It's not. It's not tiny. If you 308 00:18:21.500 --> 00:18:24.039 remember it, it's a big deal. And if it keeps 309 00:18:24.099 --> 00:18:26.859 coming back in your mind, it's a big deal. And 310 00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:29.160 you're not gonna get rid of it by denying it 311 00:18:29.460 --> 00:18:31.880 or by minimizing it. Now, a third way we try 312 00:18:31.920 --> 00:18:34.710 to deal with guilt that doesn't work is we rationalize it. 313 00:18:35.579 --> 00:18:39.079 And I've said before, To rationalize means to tell yourself 314 00:18:39.460 --> 00:18:45.450 rational lies. You're trying to convince yourself in your head 315 00:18:45.769 --> 00:18:50.170 what your heart knows is wrong. That's to rationalize. We 316 00:18:50.230 --> 00:18:54.390 live in a society where everybody rationalizes everything. And that 317 00:18:54.430 --> 00:18:57.509 if I shout enough or I affirm it enough or 318 00:18:57.529 --> 00:19:00.210 I march for it enough, then I'll think it's okay. 319 00:19:00.230 --> 00:19:05.319 But inside your heart's going, it's not okay. Rationalizing doesn't work. 320 00:19:05.769 --> 00:19:08.789 Trying to convince your heart with your mind doesn't work. 321 00:19:08.970 --> 00:19:12.250 Your heart's gonna win out every time. Because there's an 322 00:19:12.430 --> 00:19:17.049 inbuilt conscience in our lives that God put there. And 323 00:19:18.349 --> 00:19:21.849 so we say, you know, I'm gonna rationalize it away, 324 00:19:21.890 --> 00:19:25.240 but it doesn't make it right and your heart still knows. 325 00:19:26.099 --> 00:19:28.059 And you're going around saying, why didn't everybody accept me? 326 00:19:28.099 --> 00:19:33.240 Why didn't everybody believe in me? That's a rationalization. You 327 00:19:33.259 --> 00:19:36.420 need to listen to your conscience. Another way we try 328 00:19:36.460 --> 00:19:41.089 to deal with guilt is compromise. And that's the whole 329 00:19:41.190 --> 00:19:45.650 idea of, well, I'm feeling guilty and here's the standard, 330 00:19:46.049 --> 00:19:48.289 so what I think I'll do is I'll just lower 331 00:19:48.329 --> 00:19:51.269 my standard and then I won't feel guilty anymore. And 332 00:19:51.289 --> 00:19:54.329 I'll say, I don't believe that's a sin anymore. How's 333 00:19:54.349 --> 00:19:59.230 that working for you? Again, it's trying to convince your 334 00:19:59.269 --> 00:20:04.150 heart what your conscience knows is wrong and compromising, you know, 335 00:20:04.390 --> 00:20:06.309 maybe if I just do it enough, then it won't 336 00:20:06.329 --> 00:20:10.650 be a sin anymore. Right. Get back to me on 337 00:20:10.670 --> 00:20:14.349 that one. Here's another one we try to do. When 338 00:20:14.390 --> 00:20:19.309 we feel guilty, we blame other people. Because if we 339 00:20:19.349 --> 00:20:20.960 can put the blame on them, it gets the focus 340 00:20:21.039 --> 00:20:25.079 off us. Now, couples do this all the time. Boyfriend, girlfriend, 341 00:20:25.599 --> 00:20:29.619 husband's wife, parents, kids. And it goes like this. There's 342 00:20:29.660 --> 00:20:32.240 a scale in your mind. And on one side is blame. 343 00:20:32.529 --> 00:20:36.339 And on the other side is guilt. And In this, 344 00:20:37.180 --> 00:20:39.039 the only way you can feel good about yourself is 345 00:20:39.099 --> 00:20:42.039 if it's kind of balanced. So when you do something wrong, 346 00:20:42.420 --> 00:20:43.980 like this, you have to have somebody else to blame 347 00:20:44.009 --> 00:20:47.150 because you did that, yeah, but you did that. You 348 00:20:47.190 --> 00:20:50.069 did that, yeah, but you did that. But you did that, yeah, 349 00:20:50.089 --> 00:20:55.150 but you remember that really big thing you did? There 350 00:20:55.210 --> 00:20:59.910 are people who one of a spouse had really gone 351 00:20:59.990 --> 00:21:04.210 over the edge in a wrong way. But they've come 352 00:21:04.250 --> 00:21:07.369 back and they said, I'm sorry, I apologize, I wanna 353 00:21:07.390 --> 00:21:10.910 rebuild trust, I wanna make this marriage work. But this 354 00:21:11.009 --> 00:21:12.990 person won't let him off the hook, the other one. 355 00:21:14.369 --> 00:21:17.259 And no matter how many good things this person does, 356 00:21:18.230 --> 00:21:21.000 they ask, yeah, but you did that. And if you're 357 00:21:21.039 --> 00:21:24.980 doing that with a spouse, you're killing your marriage. Because 358 00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:29.039 you've become unpleasable. You're acting like you're God, you're not. 359 00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:32.680 Anybody could hold you accountable for stuff you've done too. 360 00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:37.579 And so, blaming doesn't work. We say blame is spelled 361 00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:41.440 be lame, and it just makes you lame when you 362 00:21:41.460 --> 00:21:45.720 do that. Every time you blame, you are being lame. 363 00:21:46.220 --> 00:21:48.670 So you blame others, you got the scale in your mind. 364 00:21:49.569 --> 00:21:52.089 Which is, by the way, why people don't wanna forgive. 365 00:21:53.890 --> 00:21:57.269 Because if I don't forgive you, then I can keep 366 00:21:57.349 --> 00:22:00.009 blaming you for that. You see, if I'm trying to 367 00:22:00.069 --> 00:22:02.710 balance between guilt and blame in my life, and all 368 00:22:02.730 --> 00:22:05.880 of the sudden, You ask for forgiveness, and that sets 369 00:22:05.940 --> 00:22:07.650 me off balance, and I say, sure, I forgive you. 370 00:22:07.819 --> 00:22:10.220 Now I don't have anything to blame anymore on this side, 371 00:22:10.460 --> 00:22:13.660 so what happens? The scale tilts toward me, and I 372 00:22:13.700 --> 00:22:18.500 feel bad. So I don't wanna forgive you because then 373 00:22:18.579 --> 00:22:21.839 it's all on me. There's nothing to even the scales. 374 00:22:23.339 --> 00:22:29.589 And you keep yourself in tension all the time. Your 375 00:22:29.650 --> 00:22:33.250 soul needs to be restored. Restored. It's being chipped away at. 376 00:22:33.319 --> 00:22:35.940 It's being eaten at. It's being like little bacteria, like 377 00:22:35.980 --> 00:22:39.799 a virus. It's just working on your heart, making it 378 00:22:39.880 --> 00:22:43.920 smaller and smaller and smaller. One other way that doesn't work. 379 00:22:44.009 --> 00:22:50.190 We've talked about rationalizing, compromising, minimizing, blaming. One is, well, 380 00:22:50.230 --> 00:22:53.130 I'll just beat myself up. And for the rest of 381 00:22:53.170 --> 00:22:56.019 your life, you're trying to atone for your own sins. 382 00:22:56.799 --> 00:22:59.049 You're trying to make up for it. And a lot 383 00:22:59.069 --> 00:23:02.269 of people actually sabotage their own success and don't realize 384 00:23:02.289 --> 00:23:07.509 they're doing it. Because they feel guilty about something in 385 00:23:07.549 --> 00:23:10.799 the past, and they feel unworthy. And because they feel unworthy, 386 00:23:10.819 --> 00:23:12.900 they go, well, this is too good. I shouldn't be 387 00:23:12.920 --> 00:23:15.440 getting this much blessing. I know what I've done. I 388 00:23:15.480 --> 00:23:17.960 know all the things. I'm not worthy of this. And 389 00:23:18.019 --> 00:23:23.279 as a result, you start setting yourself up for failure. 390 00:23:24.119 --> 00:23:27.400 You beat yourself up. Because internally you go, well, I've 391 00:23:27.420 --> 00:23:30.500 done something wrong. Somebody's got to pay for it. And 392 00:23:30.579 --> 00:23:33.000 subconsciously we try to pay for our mistakes and our 393 00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:37.009 sins by getting sick or failing. And it can cause 394 00:23:37.049 --> 00:23:39.289 all kinds of stuff. Guilt can make you depressed. It 395 00:23:39.329 --> 00:23:41.910 can make you despair. It can set you up for failure. 396 00:23:42.069 --> 00:23:46.170 I don't deserve to succeed. None of those things work. 397 00:23:46.809 --> 00:23:49.029 There's only one thing that works to get rid of 398 00:23:49.130 --> 00:23:55.930 unconfessed guilt. Confess it. Just admit it. The word confession 399 00:23:56.289 --> 00:24:01.410 in the Bible in Greek is the word homo logeo. Homo, 400 00:24:01.859 --> 00:24:05.799 we know what that means, it means same. Homogenized milk, homosexual, 401 00:24:06.640 --> 00:24:10.059