WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.279 It's night time with Dan. 2 00:00:03.279 --> 00:00:08.640 I'm telling you easy, all right. Thank you very much. 3 00:00:08.759 --> 00:00:11.400 Al as we head into our ten o'clock hour, and 4 00:00:11.480 --> 00:00:16.079 I'm delighted to welcome back tonight'side doctor Sandra Dalton Smith. 5 00:00:16.600 --> 00:00:23.719 She's an author, speaker and a board certified physician. We 6 00:00:24.399 --> 00:00:26.120 had her on a couple of weeks ago and I 7 00:00:26.199 --> 00:00:28.920 really enjoyed the conversation with her, and she brings great 8 00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:31.719 energy to the show. And I hope some of you 9 00:00:32.119 --> 00:00:34.520 are interested enough to call him because I brought it 10 00:00:34.600 --> 00:00:36.399 back so she can talk to my listeners. 11 00:00:36.920 --> 00:00:39.960 Welcome back, doctor Sondra Dalton Smith. How are you tonight? 12 00:00:41.200 --> 00:00:42.119 I am doing great. 13 00:00:42.200 --> 00:00:45.520 Thank you well, Thank you so much for coming back. 14 00:00:46.640 --> 00:00:50.840 You were talking about to again. The headline is recover 15 00:00:50.920 --> 00:00:54.399 your life, renew your energy, and restore your sanity with sleep. 16 00:00:55.280 --> 00:01:02.840 Rest can no longer remain optional. This is your book, correct? Yes? 17 00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:05.840 My book title is Sacred Rest, Recover your life, renew 18 00:01:05.879 --> 00:01:09.280 your energy, restore your sanity, and it focuses on my 19 00:01:09.359 --> 00:01:12.640 research on the seven types of rest and how rest 20 00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:13.719 differs from sleep. 21 00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:18.959 Okay, so let's let you use an acronym for rest, 22 00:01:19.040 --> 00:01:23.799 which has recognize your risk, evaluate your current position, science 23 00:01:23.840 --> 00:01:27.840 and research in today's application, What are the seven types 24 00:01:27.879 --> 00:01:29.319 of risk that we're talking about? 25 00:01:29.400 --> 00:01:31.480 Here? Are we talking about cat naps? 26 00:01:31.640 --> 00:01:31.719 Uh? 27 00:01:32.159 --> 00:01:32.480 You know what? 28 00:01:33.120 --> 00:01:33.159 What? 29 00:01:33.879 --> 00:01:34.359 What? 30 00:01:34.359 --> 00:01:39.280 What should we be doing to maximize our sleep and 31 00:01:39.599 --> 00:01:42.280 and what can we do? There are a lot of people, 32 00:01:42.519 --> 00:01:46.120 I'm sure who are listening tonight who have sleep problems, 33 00:01:46.200 --> 00:01:49.840 and I assume if they call, you'll be able to 34 00:01:50.319 --> 00:01:52.879 maybe give them some hints as to how they can 35 00:01:53.359 --> 00:01:55.159 break whatever bad sleep. 36 00:01:54.879 --> 00:01:55.719 Patterns they have. 37 00:01:57.439 --> 00:02:00.079 Yeah, so one of that, well, let me start with 38 00:02:00.200 --> 00:02:02.920 answering the question on the seven types of rest, because 39 00:02:02.920 --> 00:02:06.239 that's really the issue I feel for a lot of 40 00:02:06.280 --> 00:02:09.800 people most of the world is saying that they're exhausted 41 00:02:09.840 --> 00:02:12.479 all the time and they're tired, but even when they 42 00:02:12.520 --> 00:02:15.960 get eight hours in the bed, they're waking up still exhausted. 43 00:02:16.680 --> 00:02:19.599 And so what we're helping people realize is that there's 44 00:02:19.639 --> 00:02:23.280 different types of fatigue, there's different ways that they can 45 00:02:23.319 --> 00:02:31.919 be exhausted. And so those seven types of rest include physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, social, sensory, 46 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:37.120 and creative. And so sleep falls into that physical type 47 00:02:37.120 --> 00:02:40.479 of rest, the pasive form of physical rest, and for 48 00:02:40.520 --> 00:02:43.800 some people, the reason they're not getting high quality sleep 49 00:02:44.280 --> 00:02:46.360 is because they have a rest deficit in one of 50 00:02:46.400 --> 00:02:50.319 these other areas. For example, someone with a mental rest 51 00:02:50.400 --> 00:02:53.639 deficit may lay down at night and their mind they're 52 00:02:53.639 --> 00:02:55.960 thinking of all the things. They're thinking of their to 53 00:02:56.039 --> 00:02:59.560 do list or conversations they had that day, and it's 54 00:02:59.639 --> 00:03:02.479 keeping them from actually going into the deeper levels of 55 00:03:02.560 --> 00:03:06.400 non rim sleep because they haven't addressed the mental rest 56 00:03:06.599 --> 00:03:09.639 problem so that they can get better physical rest. 57 00:03:10.080 --> 00:03:12.639 Okay, that is my problem. That is my problem. 58 00:03:12.680 --> 00:03:14.599 I can wake up at three o'clock in the morning 59 00:03:15.080 --> 00:03:18.280 and my mind is going, how do you shut that 60 00:03:18.439 --> 00:03:19.159 mind off? 61 00:03:20.599 --> 00:03:22.599 Yeah, So mental rest shows up in a lot of 62 00:03:22.599 --> 00:03:24.759 different ways. One is the one I just mentioned was 63 00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:28.319 the inability to kind of turn it off before you 64 00:03:28.400 --> 00:03:31.280 go to bed. For some people, they're experiencing mental rest 65 00:03:31.400 --> 00:03:34.639 deficits and the fact that they can't concentrate during the 66 00:03:34.719 --> 00:03:38.280 day or they find it hard to recall information. So, 67 00:03:38.360 --> 00:03:42.479 if the problem is the ruminating thoughts, you're exhausted, you're 68 00:03:42.520 --> 00:03:44.960 thinking all the things before you go to bed, a 69 00:03:45.039 --> 00:03:47.000 couple of different ways you can do that. I'll start 70 00:03:47.039 --> 00:03:50.120 with just one example. Many people benefit from what we 71 00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:54.199 call brain dumping. In other words, if you are ruminating 72 00:03:54.240 --> 00:03:56.599 over a thought, thinking of it over and over again, 73 00:03:57.080 --> 00:03:59.520 your brain has a tendency to want to hold on 74 00:03:59.560 --> 00:04:03.199 to that information. Ruminations the same process we do when 75 00:04:03.280 --> 00:04:06.759 we study for a test. So as long as you're ruminating, 76 00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:09.439 your brains thinking, oh, this is important, I have to 77 00:04:09.479 --> 00:04:11.879 hold on to it. When you jot it down on 78 00:04:11.919 --> 00:04:14.680 something concrete like a notepad or a piece of paper, 79 00:04:15.080 --> 00:04:17.680 it's as if you took the test. So the brain 80 00:04:17.800 --> 00:04:22.480 recognizes that that information now is somewhere secure and it's 81 00:04:22.600 --> 00:04:25.839 no longer the brain's job to hold on to the information, 82 00:04:26.240 --> 00:04:28.399 which then allows it to be released and you can 83 00:04:28.439 --> 00:04:31.600 go into deeper levels of sleep. Other things that can 84 00:04:31.600 --> 00:04:34.680 add to that is if you are, for example, if 85 00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:38.560 you have a tendency to ruminate over let's take conversation 86 00:04:40.399 --> 00:04:43.560 instead of writing down kind of what the conversation was about. 87 00:04:44.120 --> 00:04:48.519 Sometimes it's necessary to process what emotions the conversation stirred up, 88 00:04:49.040 --> 00:04:52.879 which then goes over into emotional rests. Because sometimes some 89 00:04:52.959 --> 00:04:56.240 of the emotional processing we do is at night time. 90 00:04:56.879 --> 00:05:00.279 We and so those emotions have to be processed whether 91 00:05:00.319 --> 00:05:04.040 we are cognitively aware of how we're processing them. Sometimes 92 00:05:04.079 --> 00:05:06.480 that's the way we process at night time, we think 93 00:05:06.519 --> 00:05:08.959 and mole over it sociating. 94 00:05:10.079 --> 00:05:12.920 So if you're talking about mental rest, what you're saying 95 00:05:13.000 --> 00:05:16.439 is if something if I'm hearing you correctly, if something's 96 00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:19.319 bothering you, before you lay your head down on your pillow, 97 00:05:19.879 --> 00:05:22.000 write it down on a piece of paper because there's 98 00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:24.199 something that you'll probably deal with the next day. Is 99 00:05:24.639 --> 00:05:27.800 I think what I'm hearing you say? Is that an 100 00:05:27.839 --> 00:05:28.839 accurate summary? 101 00:05:29.879 --> 00:05:32.279 That's exactly right? Do what we call a brain dap. 102 00:05:32.680 --> 00:05:34.959 You're going to put it on something concrete so that 103 00:05:35.079 --> 00:05:35.879 you can let it go. 104 00:05:36.600 --> 00:05:36.920 Okay. 105 00:05:37.879 --> 00:05:41.240 So in terms of emotional let's assume that you have 106 00:05:42.160 --> 00:05:46.839 a disagreement with I don't know someone in your life 107 00:05:47.079 --> 00:05:52.360 who's important, whether it's a friend, you know, a family member, 108 00:05:53.199 --> 00:05:57.680 and you're replaying that in your mind and preventing you 109 00:05:58.160 --> 00:05:59.160 from getting. 110 00:05:59.319 --> 00:06:00.759 Good good as good sleep. 111 00:06:01.800 --> 00:06:04.759 What is the same process You write it down and 112 00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:06.959 you say in the morning, you know in the morning 113 00:06:06.959 --> 00:06:10.480 you're going to still have that emotional thought that in 114 00:06:10.519 --> 00:06:11.199 your minds. 115 00:06:11.639 --> 00:06:13.160 What's the solution for that one? 116 00:06:13.199 --> 00:06:17.040 If if writing down a brain dump, writing down that 117 00:06:17.160 --> 00:06:19.839 problem that you got to deal with the next day, 118 00:06:20.639 --> 00:06:23.040 what do you do in terms of that when you 119 00:06:23.199 --> 00:06:25.959 when you're you're not getting your emotional rest. 120 00:06:27.199 --> 00:06:30.360 Yeah, emotional res is a lot more complicated because it 121 00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:32.439 requires that we actually process. 122 00:06:32.040 --> 00:06:32.720 Through the emotion. 123 00:06:33.360 --> 00:06:35.879 So writing it down is just kind of a holding 124 00:06:35.920 --> 00:06:39.800 space for it. But really with emotional res you need 125 00:06:39.920 --> 00:06:44.439 opportunity so that you can actually share and process through 126 00:06:44.439 --> 00:06:47.439 the emotion. For a lot of people, this works better 127 00:06:47.439 --> 00:06:50.519 if you're processing with another person. It can be a 128 00:06:50.519 --> 00:06:53.920 counselor to be a therapist, a trusted friend. For some people, 129 00:06:54.079 --> 00:06:57.600 emotional rest and the experience when you have opportunities just 130 00:06:57.639 --> 00:07:01.279 to be real and authentic. So that could be anything 131 00:07:01.360 --> 00:07:04.560 from journaling, just kind of journaling whatever the whatever the 132 00:07:04.600 --> 00:07:07.800 emotions were, maybe there isn't any one you feel safe 133 00:07:07.879 --> 00:07:10.439 to share that with, but having a place for you 134 00:07:10.560 --> 00:07:13.720 to process through it. And you know, I went to 135 00:07:13.759 --> 00:07:17.720 medical school in Nashville, So if I'm thinking about just 136 00:07:17.959 --> 00:07:22.079 music in general, particularly country music, a large part of 137 00:07:22.120 --> 00:07:25.600 it is someone's emotional rest. You hear all of those 138 00:07:26.639 --> 00:07:30.759 someone you know, did me wrong type wrong. It's someone 139 00:07:30.920 --> 00:07:35.839 processing through their emotional and that's really at the core 140 00:07:35.920 --> 00:07:39.639 of emotional rest. It's not just those arguments we have 141 00:07:39.759 --> 00:07:44.120 with our family. Sometimes it's professional emotional rest. If you're 142 00:07:44.120 --> 00:07:46.480 a business owner and you had to let go a 143 00:07:46.480 --> 00:07:49.560 lot of people, you know, during COVID or during right now, 144 00:07:49.639 --> 00:07:53.360 during the changes of the economics, and you let go 145 00:07:53.439 --> 00:07:56.279 of a lot of employees, you may feel some some 146 00:07:56.839 --> 00:08:02.160 professional emotional stress. Relate it to that, and so just 147 00:08:02.439 --> 00:08:06.120 realizing those things have to be processed because otherwise they 148 00:08:06.160 --> 00:08:07.959 create their own level of stress. 149 00:08:08.360 --> 00:08:10.720 Okay, we're gonna pause. I gotta do a couple of 150 00:08:10.759 --> 00:08:12.319 commercials here, my. 151 00:08:12.399 --> 00:08:17.439 Guest this hour, and I do invite people to call 152 00:08:17.519 --> 00:08:19.920 and join and talk with and ask questions of doctor 153 00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:23.680 Sandra Dalton Smith. You said you did your medical work 154 00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:27.399 in Nashville. Is that Vanderbilt that you went to. 155 00:08:28.399 --> 00:08:30.199 I went to my Harry Medical College? 156 00:08:30.439 --> 00:08:33.679 My Harry. Okay, fine, another great school. Nashville is a 157 00:08:33.720 --> 00:08:37.320 great city. I need to spend more time there. Her 158 00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:40.240 book is Sacred Rest Recover your life, renew your energy, 159 00:08:40.279 --> 00:08:44.279 and restore your sanity. We will continue our conversation, but 160 00:08:44.360 --> 00:08:46.480 I want to open up the phone lines. If you're 161 00:08:46.480 --> 00:08:50.960 having trouble sleeping. Sleeping it does a number on you, 162 00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:55.240 it really does. And there's so many distractions for all 163 00:08:55.279 --> 00:08:59.279 of us. I know, and I may ask you when 164 00:08:59.279 --> 00:09:02.600 we come back on the other side, Doctor Dalton Smith. 165 00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:04.720 I do a talk show. I'm on the air from 166 00:09:04.759 --> 00:09:09.000 eight until midnight. I generally am able to get to sleep, 167 00:09:09.279 --> 00:09:13.279 but it's tough to go from doing a talk show 168 00:09:13.320 --> 00:09:15.240 and your your mind is going one hundred miles an 169 00:09:15.240 --> 00:09:17.960 hour trying to deal with whatever issues you're talking to. 170 00:09:18.120 --> 00:09:22.080 Shut it down and go to sleep quickly. If I 171 00:09:22.080 --> 00:09:24.120 can get to sleep within an hour, I feel I'm 172 00:09:24.159 --> 00:09:26.399 doing pretty well. Because if I don't get to sleep 173 00:09:26.480 --> 00:09:30.799 within an hour, then I'm sure changing myself. When the 174 00:09:30.840 --> 00:09:33.000 world starts to wake up the next morning. We'll get 175 00:09:33.039 --> 00:09:35.000 to that, and I want to hear from all of 176 00:09:35.039 --> 00:09:37.840 you as well. Six one, seven, two, five, four, ten 177 00:09:37.919 --> 00:09:41.159 thirty six one seven, nine, three, one ten thirty My guest, 178 00:09:41.200 --> 00:09:46.480 doctor Sandra Dalton Smith. Her book Sacred rest Recover your Life, 179 00:09:46.879 --> 00:09:51.440 Renew your energy and Restore your sanity. Pretty good menu 180 00:09:51.519 --> 00:09:54.080 of things to accomplish. Back on nights Side with Doctor 181 00:09:54.759 --> 00:09:58.679 Dalton Sandra Dalton Smith. Right after this, now back to 182 00:09:58.799 --> 00:10:01.200 Dan Ray the Window World. 183 00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:04.159 Night Side Studios on WBZ News Radio. 184 00:10:06.039 --> 00:10:07.759 We're talking about your sleep. 185 00:10:08.120 --> 00:10:11.759 Yeah, you get if you're getting that great out by 186 00:10:11.759 --> 00:10:14.600 the way, we will talk about how much sleep people need, 187 00:10:14.639 --> 00:10:16.440 and we're gonna cover this all, I promise you. My 188 00:10:16.440 --> 00:10:19.840 guest is doctor Sondra Dalton Smith her book Sacred Rest 189 00:10:19.879 --> 00:10:24.279 Recover your Life, Renew your Energy, Restore your Sanity. When 190 00:10:24.279 --> 00:10:29.799 we broke for the commercial and doctor Sondra, doctor Dalton Smith, 191 00:10:31.039 --> 00:10:33.799 I talked about people like myself who work late. I 192 00:10:33.799 --> 00:10:37.159 work to midnight every night, Monday through Friday, and it's tough. 193 00:10:37.399 --> 00:10:39.440 It's tough to kind of wind out. Most people who 194 00:10:39.440 --> 00:10:41.559 work a nine to five or ten to six job, 195 00:10:42.120 --> 00:10:44.679 they go home, they have dinner, maybe they have a drink, 196 00:10:44.759 --> 00:10:46.879 or maybe they sit down and they watch on television. 197 00:10:46.960 --> 00:10:49.360 I'll listen to Nightside and get relaxed. Then they go 198 00:10:49.399 --> 00:10:49.759 to bed. 199 00:10:50.600 --> 00:10:51.360 What advice do you. 200 00:10:51.399 --> 00:10:54.519 Have for people like me who you know I don't 201 00:10:54.519 --> 00:10:56.480 want to stay up till three in the morning because 202 00:10:56.519 --> 00:10:59.120 I got to be up in the morning by eight 203 00:10:59.120 --> 00:11:03.399 o'clock in order to start my next day. Except on Saturday, 204 00:11:03.399 --> 00:11:08.240 I can sleep in. What can people in our position, 205 00:11:08.679 --> 00:11:10.279 the late workers of the world, what. 206 00:11:10.200 --> 00:11:10.720 Can they do? 207 00:11:12.480 --> 00:11:12.720 Yeah? 208 00:11:12.960 --> 00:11:15.120 I love this question because I actually live in an 209 00:11:15.159 --> 00:11:18.440 area where we have a lot as factory workers who 210 00:11:18.480 --> 00:11:21.279 do third our shifts and so one of the things 211 00:11:21.279 --> 00:11:23.279 that you have to keep in mind when you are 212 00:11:23.399 --> 00:11:26.840 kind of forcing the body to function contrary to the 213 00:11:26.919 --> 00:11:30.200 normal circadian rhythm is that you have to build in 214 00:11:30.320 --> 00:11:33.720 some type of rhythm. The body likes to function in patterns, 215 00:11:33.799 --> 00:11:36.799 and so the normal circadian rhythm is you wake up 216 00:11:36.799 --> 00:11:39.399 when the suns up, you wind down when the sun 217 00:11:39.480 --> 00:11:43.600 goes down. When you accelpt that, what happens is you 218 00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:48.200 kind of automatically inject some disharmony with just how the 219 00:11:48.240 --> 00:11:51.559 hormones work. So you want to kind of create that 220 00:11:51.679 --> 00:11:55.440 as best you can in your own environment. So, for example, 221 00:11:56.360 --> 00:11:59.720 when you are awake, whether it's dark outside or not, 222 00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:03.440 have your house as or your workstation or wherever you're 223 00:12:03.480 --> 00:12:06.559 at it's brightly lit as you possibly can have it. 224 00:12:06.960 --> 00:12:09.919 To reenact the the to kind of always took the 225 00:12:10.000 --> 00:12:12.759 brain into differs daytime, even though it might be midnight, 226 00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:16.240 and usually if you're if you're working, you're going to 227 00:12:16.360 --> 00:12:19.240 be in some place that's brightly lit. However, when you 228 00:12:19.360 --> 00:12:22.519 are ready to start winding down so you get home, 229 00:12:23.000 --> 00:12:25.200 don't come home and have every light in your house 230 00:12:25.279 --> 00:12:29.200 off just because you're awake, start actually winding down the 231 00:12:29.279 --> 00:12:32.639 body takes about an hour to deep kind of defuse. 232 00:12:33.360 --> 00:12:37.080 And so when you come home, you're driving home, but 233 00:12:37.200 --> 00:12:38.799 probably in the middle of the day when the sun 234 00:12:38.919 --> 00:12:41.759 is out and and bright, you know, for some of 235 00:12:41.840 --> 00:12:44.679 these workers who are working thirty hour shifts. When you 236 00:12:44.799 --> 00:12:47.360 walk in, when you get into your home, actually start 237 00:12:48.200 --> 00:12:53.080 have blackout curtains, start darkening your house even before you 238 00:12:53.240 --> 00:12:55.720 go into the bed. So the same is when I'm 239 00:12:55.759 --> 00:12:58.320 walking around my house at ten o'clock at night, I 240 00:12:58.440 --> 00:13:02.399 have the lights dimmed. I'm kind of shutting down the brightness. 241 00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:02.519 In my home. 242 00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:05.159 Do the same thing, even though it may be eight 243 00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:08.000 am that you're about to turn in. Okay, so you 244 00:13:08.120 --> 00:13:09.600 want to try to recreate that. 245 00:13:10.399 --> 00:13:12.320 Let's start to work some callers in here. I don't 246 00:13:12.320 --> 00:13:15.360 want people to have to wait long. My first caller 247 00:13:15.480 --> 00:13:18.679 for my guest, doctor Sandra Dalton Smith, or a book 248 00:13:18.799 --> 00:13:21.840 Sacred rest Recover your Life, Renew your energy, Restore your 249 00:13:21.919 --> 00:13:24.960 sanity is Shazade Shazzad. 250 00:13:25.159 --> 00:13:27.519 I hope I pronounced your name correctly. Is that correct? 251 00:13:28.480 --> 00:13:29.600 Yes? That is correct? 252 00:13:30.360 --> 00:13:32.840 Well, welcome. I don't believe whether they had the pleasure 253 00:13:32.879 --> 00:13:34.519 of you as a caller before. 254 00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:37.440 No, this is the first time calling. 255 00:13:37.879 --> 00:13:38.840 Oh we want to give you a. 256 00:13:38.879 --> 00:13:41.519 Round of a pause in our digital studio audience. Shous 257 00:13:41.559 --> 00:13:44.360 that you're wrong with doctor Dalton Smith. What's your question? 258 00:13:44.480 --> 00:13:45.039 Go right ahead. 259 00:13:45.919 --> 00:13:50.799 My question is that sometime if I somebody save me something, 260 00:13:51.000 --> 00:13:55.240 you don't look good, or you have this, or some 261 00:13:55.639 --> 00:13:56.480 somebody say to. 262 00:13:56.559 --> 00:13:57.600 Me you. 263 00:13:59.240 --> 00:14:02.480 You didn't do wrong, you did you did wrong this one, 264 00:14:03.480 --> 00:14:07.360 or sometime if I I try to fix the car 265 00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:11.039 sent some time I couldn't fix the car, or some 266 00:14:11.440 --> 00:14:14.919 school doesn't open all night or every night. I'm just 267 00:14:15.039 --> 00:14:18.240 thinking thinking about that, and I tried to sleep it. 268 00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:22.480 I couldn't forget anything that people say to me, and 269 00:14:22.639 --> 00:14:26.720 that I try to turn off the light, I try 270 00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:31.200 to make the massad music or lax music, and it's 271 00:14:31.200 --> 00:14:33.080 still sleep doesn't come out. 272 00:14:33.519 --> 00:14:33.799 Are you. 273 00:14:35.600 --> 00:14:36.080 Shazad? 274 00:14:36.120 --> 00:14:40.320 What you're saying is someone criticizes you for something and 275 00:14:40.960 --> 00:14:43.440 you're you must be a sensitive guy. A lot of 276 00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:46.480 people that rolls off their back. You hang on at 277 00:14:46.519 --> 00:14:49.320 that criticism, whether it's how you look, how you appear, 278 00:14:49.399 --> 00:14:49.960 how you're working. 279 00:14:50.360 --> 00:14:51.159 Is that what you're saying. 280 00:14:52.159 --> 00:14:56.279 Okay, let's see, let's see if doctor Dalton Smith has 281 00:14:56.320 --> 00:14:58.559 a suggestion. I'm sure that there's a lot of people 282 00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:00.240 like Shazad, doctor. 283 00:15:00.080 --> 00:15:02.919 Dalton, yeah and the. 284 00:15:04.440 --> 00:15:08.360 Yeah excellent questions Shazade. And the type of rest deficit 285 00:15:08.480 --> 00:15:11.399 that that boils down to is an emotional rest deficit, 286 00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:14.960 because serences are when the person says that to you. 287 00:15:15.600 --> 00:15:18.879 To stay at a level of professionalism, you probably don't 288 00:15:18.919 --> 00:15:21.399 respond back to them or you you know, just kind 289 00:15:21.399 --> 00:15:23.480 of take it in the moment. And that's what a 290 00:15:23.519 --> 00:15:27.279 lot of people do, and it's where this emotional professional 291 00:15:27.320 --> 00:15:31.600 emotional labor comes into play now to undo that, there 292 00:15:31.720 --> 00:15:35.000 has to be a time when you're processing through not 293 00:15:35.320 --> 00:15:37.720 just what they said, but how what they said made 294 00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:40.679 you feel. And so for a lot of people, they 295 00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:43.919 they basically when they talk to someone about this, if 296 00:15:43.960 --> 00:15:47.159 there's a friend or someone that you share these experiences with, 297 00:15:48.080 --> 00:15:51.360 you're probably sharing what the person said or you know, 298 00:15:51.919 --> 00:15:55.399 those kind of things. But real emotional rest comes when 299 00:15:55.480 --> 00:15:58.519 we actually share not what they said, but how what 300 00:15:58.720 --> 00:16:01.919 they said made us feel. What was the emotion that 301 00:16:02.120 --> 00:16:05.159 was in So whether it was a feeling of rejection 302 00:16:05.559 --> 00:16:10.679 or a feeling of insecurity or abandonment or or whatever 303 00:16:10.759 --> 00:16:14.120 the emotion is, whatever it is that pops up actually 304 00:16:14.240 --> 00:16:18.679 having some place safe to discuss that and to share 305 00:16:18.759 --> 00:16:21.360 that feeling and so that you can process through it, 306 00:16:21.759 --> 00:16:24.000 because otherwise you're going to process through it in the 307 00:16:24.039 --> 00:16:27.200 middle of the night. Some things to keep in mind 308 00:16:27.440 --> 00:16:31.919 also is that rumination. If you just think about the 309 00:16:32.039 --> 00:16:36.840 conversation over and over again, you create these, for lack 310 00:16:36.919 --> 00:16:40.480 of a better word, mental tangle. And it's even if 311 00:16:40.519 --> 00:16:43.080 you keep thinking about it, it's harder to let it go, 312 00:16:44.159 --> 00:16:47.480 so that you have to shift from repeating what was 313 00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:52.120 said to actually kind of processing through what the emotions 314 00:16:52.159 --> 00:16:56.000 were that were awakened from that remark or conversation. 315 00:16:57.039 --> 00:17:01.440 Yeah, on me, I tried numerous time to forget that thing, 316 00:17:01.639 --> 00:17:04.200 but it's still keep coming in my heart, to keep 317 00:17:04.319 --> 00:17:07.759 coming in my eyes. So then I especially when I 318 00:17:07.880 --> 00:17:12.240 go to the bag, and it's keep keep coming, keep coming. 319 00:17:12.400 --> 00:17:14.440 I tongue off the light and I do everything, I 320 00:17:14.559 --> 00:17:15.839 put the massage music, but it. 321 00:17:15.880 --> 00:17:18.799 Still keep coming up, keep coming up. I try to 322 00:17:18.920 --> 00:17:22.200 ignore it, do not to remember it, but it's still 323 00:17:23.160 --> 00:17:24.440 sometimes this happens. 324 00:17:28.599 --> 00:17:32.960 Yeah, let me ask you a question without being personal. 325 00:17:33.079 --> 00:17:33.720 How old are you? 326 00:17:33.960 --> 00:17:34.160 Are you? 327 00:17:34.400 --> 00:17:35.880 Young, middle aged or older? 328 00:17:37.039 --> 00:17:40.039 Yeah, I'm like park ep forty three. 329 00:17:40.160 --> 00:17:45.400 Okay, I think and this is I'm not doctor Dalton Smith. 330 00:17:46.279 --> 00:17:50.400 I think sometimes friends of mine have said, you know, 331 00:17:50.519 --> 00:17:54.359 you consider the source. If someone's a jerk and they 332 00:17:54.440 --> 00:17:57.920 say something to you that is either intended to be 333 00:17:58.079 --> 00:18:01.920 harmful or is unintentionally hurtful. 334 00:18:02.519 --> 00:18:05.519 Consider the source, Chazette, let it roll. 335 00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:08.000 I know it's easy for me to say, but just 336 00:18:08.119 --> 00:18:11.400 consider the source and realize that that person is not 337 00:18:11.640 --> 00:18:16.559 worth the time you spend on the you know, formulating 338 00:18:16.599 --> 00:18:17.319 their criticism. 339 00:18:17.440 --> 00:18:20.480 I don't know how Shazade might be able to do that, 340 00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:23.599 doctor Dalton Smith. 341 00:18:23.599 --> 00:18:27.640 Shuzade sounds like a great guy who takes things very seriously, 342 00:18:27.880 --> 00:18:30.519 and it probably is a really good friend and a 343 00:18:30.599 --> 00:18:33.799 really good worker. And he's a pretty sensitive guy here. 344 00:18:33.880 --> 00:18:36.319 What can he do to kind of toughing him up, 345 00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:37.279 toughing himself up. 346 00:18:37.240 --> 00:18:37.680 A little bit? 347 00:18:39.480 --> 00:18:41.599 Yeah, I think that's a great statement that you just 348 00:18:41.759 --> 00:18:45.160 mad as far as kind of evaluating who's making the statement. 349 00:18:45.880 --> 00:18:49.200 And you know, whenever someone says something that is different, 350 00:18:49.480 --> 00:18:51.920 in other words, I'm sure you don't do yourself the 351 00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:55.599 way this person is viewing you, Shazad, So when someone 352 00:18:55.720 --> 00:18:57.960 else is saying something about you that is different than 353 00:18:58.000 --> 00:19:00.480 how you do yourself, it can be how help just 354 00:19:00.559 --> 00:19:04.400 to remind yourself of what's actually true about you. Usually 355 00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:07.240 when someone's saying that, it's someone who actually doesn't know you. 356 00:19:07.839 --> 00:19:11.839 They are judging based off of one time experiences or 357 00:19:11.880 --> 00:19:14.680 something of that nature, but they actually haven't taken the 358 00:19:14.759 --> 00:19:17.640 time to get to know you. So Jess, I'll also 359 00:19:17.880 --> 00:19:20.960 kind of reminding yourself of what is actually true that 360 00:19:21.160 --> 00:19:23.759 is usually the contrary to what that person says. 361 00:19:24.920 --> 00:19:26.680 Shuz that. I hope that helps a little bit. 362 00:19:26.720 --> 00:19:29.039 And I'll tell you if you want, shazzatte you should 363 00:19:29.079 --> 00:19:32.440 read some of the emails I get from people. It's 364 00:19:32.640 --> 00:19:35.720 like you, I hate you, I hate your show. I 365 00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:38.480 listen every night, but I hate everything about your show. 366 00:19:38.759 --> 00:19:41.880 But I listen every night. I I made you laugh 367 00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:44.880 and I'm happy about that. Do be a favorite call 368 00:19:44.960 --> 00:19:46.519 the show more often. You have friends here. 369 00:19:46.599 --> 00:19:48.640 Okay, thank you very much. 370 00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:50.480 Indeed, thanks Jazzat. 371 00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:52.880 We take quick break for news at the bottom of 372 00:19:52.920 --> 00:19:55.039 the hour. Yeah, you should read some of my emails. 373 00:19:55.920 --> 00:19:58.200 And it's always the anonymous stuff. You know what people 374 00:19:58.359 --> 00:20:03.240 call you on the phone doctor A Dalton Smith. I 375 00:20:03.319 --> 00:20:06.039 say that in all honesty. I mean, no matter what 376 00:20:06.200 --> 00:20:09.480 you say on the radio. When you're a talk show host, 377 00:20:09.519 --> 00:20:11.920 for as long as I've been. You're gonna please some 378 00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:14.359 people and upset others, and you've got to learn to 379 00:20:14.440 --> 00:20:17.759 let it roll off your back or I'd be so 380 00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:24.960 totally crazy anyway. Sixty six, one, seven, nine, ten thirty. 381 00:20:25.319 --> 00:20:29.119 We're trying to help you tonight, So we're we're grateful 382 00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:33.200 by the very gracious presence of doctor Sandra Dalton Smith. 383 00:20:33.519 --> 00:20:36.720 Her book is Sacred rest Recover your life, renew your energy, 384 00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:41.039 and restore your sanity. I do believe that the mind 385 00:20:41.400 --> 00:20:44.799 is the most powerful muscle that any of us exercise 386 00:20:44.920 --> 00:20:48.640 in our body. And when you're not square with your mind, 387 00:20:49.519 --> 00:20:52.240 your mind is gonna gonna give you all sorts of 388 00:20:52.319 --> 00:20:55.160 problems trying to sleep, which is then gonna have physical 389 00:20:55.799 --> 00:20:59.119 ramifications for you. And that is why doctor Saundra Dalton 390 00:20:59.160 --> 00:21:01.559 Smith is with us tonight. That's what her book is about. 391 00:21:02.400 --> 00:21:05.680 If you have a specific question like shazade does Shazade? 392 00:21:05.759 --> 00:21:08.119 Thanks for having the courage to call in with that. 393 00:21:08.200 --> 00:21:09.640 I'm sure there are a lot of people like you 394 00:21:09.799 --> 00:21:13.559 out there who also you were speaking on behalf of 395 00:21:13.599 --> 00:21:16.359 a lot of people, So feel free to join the conversation. 396 00:21:16.519 --> 00:21:19.720 And ladies, don't let the men dominate the calls here. 397 00:21:19.799 --> 00:21:22.480 We'll be back on Nightside right after this news break 398 00:21:22.839 --> 00:21:24.119 at the bottom of the hour of My name is 399 00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:26.559 Dan Ray. This is Nightside. If you miss any of 400 00:21:26.599 --> 00:21:29.440 our broadcasts, you know over the weekend, you can check 401 00:21:29.480 --> 00:21:32.000