Speaker 1: When your old career gives you lemons. Throwing some ice,
mixing some vodka colored.
Speaker 2: A podcast from the Mac of All Trade Studio in
Fairport and driven by Victor Chrysler Dots jeep Ram.
Speaker 1: It's Billified, the Bill Moran Podcast. Well, hello and welcome.
Thanks for getting your pot on. Thank you for telling
a friend.
Speaker 3: And that's how we spread.
Speaker 1: The word about the pirates. Shit doucky fresh in the house.
In the house, baby, I'm just I'm just posting our
picture got into the picture. Man.
Speaker 4: We've had a busy couple of busy week.
Speaker 3: What do you mean me and you?
Speaker 1: Yeah? What did you do?
Speaker 4: I was on vacation.
Speaker 1: Oh where'd you go? It was this cold that I
can't seem to get rid of. I was told it
was bronchitis. I have no fucking idea. Been on an antibiotic?
I I just it's I tried drinking it away. No, okay,
I have not. I have not tried that. I or
something I don't know. I need, uh, yeah something. Where
did you go on vacation?
Speaker 4: Brandingham a small little community outside of Rome by about
forty five minutes. My friends.
Speaker 3: Oh it sounds unique, very.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I compare it to if you ever seen the
movie on Golden Pond. Yeah, from the eighties, the eighties,
it's like that, okay and golfed, drank, boted, yeah eight
Well even even got hired to DJ last minute and
this can't see it.
Speaker 1: But god damn, what happened? Doug you fresh? You want
to DJ?
Speaker 4: And I'm like, fuck, yeah, where you want me? On
top of the boat house. Well I didn't feel all
the bug bites.
Speaker 1: God damn, dude, you looks like you got yeah. Wow,
a couple hours up there on top of the boat.
I mean, but where was the Where was the party?
Speaker 4: A mile away at somebody's house? Somebody's house, Yeah, on
the water.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I DJ'd up there a few times. How this
guy named Milky has usually has a party, Milky and
he was next door, like Milky, Douggie's here. He's like, Dougie.
Speaker 1: Fresh, you DJ? You got DJ?
Speaker 4: And I'm like, yeah, Milky, I got three hundred for him?
Speaker 1: Like that work? Wow? Yeah, look at Milky. Yeah, So
what how many people come?
Speaker 4: It was? He was drunk, he just it was like
twenty people.
Speaker 3: Twenty people. Yeah, anybody get baked?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: No, I asked somebody to go get me sweatshirt, and uh,
twenty minutes later, no sweatshirt, no keys.
Speaker 1: What do you mean? No keys?
Speaker 4: I didn't know where she went and I couldn't remember
who it was. And then I went to the house.
There's my keys. I go on my car, yeah, and
uh no, no, there's ship messed up in the front
seat and uh things pulled out from my my camera
and my cell phone. Things was trying to rob you.
I think she was just hammered, didn't know what she
was looking for.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, all right, but.
Speaker 4: I don't know why she would have pulled all this
ship out of my car.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm kind of mad.
Speaker 4: And then I go back and there's girls on the microphone. Hey,
anybody want to sing karaoke? I'm like, I'll be I'll
be right up there. Just you know, you don't touch
somebody ship like that.
Speaker 1: Oh territorial Doug.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, equipment. He said, I'm gonna do a podcast.
And then you come from the bathroom like, how do
I turn this?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 1: I would be yeah, that would that would sort of
that would annoy me at a party with drunk people.
Speaker 3: This is an opportunity, Doug, for I don't know.
Speaker 1: You tell me. I mean, I see I smell opportunity
or maybe I smell fish. You're near a like, I'm
not sure.
Speaker 4: I like, Yes, they wanted me back the next night.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I go, I can't do it.
Speaker 4: I could have, but I was also DJing a hundredth
birthday party for a lady named Loraene.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, Lorraine wouldn't have known if you were there
or not.
Speaker 4: No, she had all the marbles. Uh okay, did not
look a hundred right. And I actually met her daughter
a few years ago at the Lago. Okay, and you
know who's from Rochester. As you get to talking when
they change the cards, you know they're you know, from Syracuse,
Buffalo South from Rochester. Oh that's two. And we're from Hilton.
I'm like, oh, I bartend down there for us Hill
And they started coming in BEB regulars and they needed DJ.
Very nice family.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she's one hundred years old, hundred years on
her own.
Speaker 4: I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I just I'm curious because I knew somebody who had
the money.
Speaker 4: Looking at her, I would say, yes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, isn't it weird? At what age do you start going? Man?
Speaker 3: You look great for your age?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Is that an insult in
a way? Like people go and you look great for you?
Wasn't that so close to me?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: How old did you think? I watched you Fox?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know what ad that would be.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wonder, I'm curious.
Speaker 4: I look good for fifty five.
Speaker 1: I have no idea. Okay, I don't know what fifty
five looks like anymore, I really don't. I mean, I
stopped to think, and I go back, and Uh, there's
been a whole lot of stuff happening with my old man.
And there's pictures that my dad had. Now, my parents'
house burned down, so everything was gone, all the pictures, everything,
But over the years, other relatives had pictures. So my
dad has a drawer full of pictures that when I
looked at them and I saw his parents, I was
going there probably about my age in that picture, and
they look old. But do they look old because they
were grandma and grandpa to me and I was a
child looking at it from a different.
Speaker 3: Perspective or are they so?
Speaker 1: I don't know, because I would say fifty today isn't
what fifty was fifty years ago?
Speaker 4: I would agree with that.
Speaker 1: Right, I mean fifty years ago or fifty five years ago.
My grandmother was fifty when I was born, so I
don't know.
Speaker 4: They're having kids younger. Back then, there is more. My
mom was twenty four places to smoke, so you might
be working with smokers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, well doesn't affect your skin.
Speaker 4: Drinking, you know, drinking was more popular back than I think.
Speaker 3: Yep, yeah, people didn't.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean we say, like the food
probably didn't have as much process stuff in it as
it does now. But people are more health conscious and
eating better maybe and exercising on a regular basis, or
at least taking a walk or doing something if their
name is and Doug.
Speaker 3: Right, But so I, hey, I don't know.
Speaker 4: I guess I'm exercising, did you Brandingham? No, I didn't regulate.
So on a pontoon boat, my friend Mary Bethner, brother Chuck,
I'm driving just around the lake. Oh really yeah, and
a pontoon boat passes us. Yes, And it's got what
we thought was around fifteen people, probably twelve to fifteen adults, kids,
and we're going two three miles an hour, just enjoying.
It's just very peaceful, and all of a sudden you
hear a sound like a helicopter is coming out of sky.
I look around. Their motor came out. Too many people
in the front. So what you normally do would be
just slow down and put people in the back, put
people in bed, balance it out. Yeah, you got to wait.
Problem they didn't I go, Mary said Mary Lyn, Should
we go help? No, they'll fine.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: Second time merrily, and you really really think.
Speaker 1: We shouldn't go out.
Speaker 4: Now they're fine, they'll figure it out. Third time, I
think we should turn around. No, they're doing fine. Like
I'm still looking like now the boat is in the water,
going under and sinking and sinking. She comes running from
the French. She goes me, me, me, me, So I
get out of the driver's seat. She floors it floor.
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, we turn around.
Speaker 4: Now there's uh seats, whatever's flotables in the water, and
fifteen people in the water in the water now by
this time, and we're probably let's say fifty yards half
a football field. We're coming up. So and now there's
other pontoons coming to help, probably three or four. So
we make five circling this and people are grabbing she
out of the water. We come up on a mother
and two daughters, two year old and four year old.
Speaker 1: Oh, so everybody got tell me their known life jackets
on these They had life jackets.
Speaker 4: Afterwards they said one wasn't zip properly, maybe a little big,
but still they had a life jacket on. So we're
coming up. So I'm looking at this woman. She has
got the fear of God that she is going to drown.
So Dougie fresh in the water. Hey, grabs on a
pond two boat. We're okay, We're okay, I got it.
Speaker 1: Grab a hole. It's a two year old and a
four year old, right, and a mother. Grab what you
can float device dece you know, mom, you're gonna hee
me one.
Speaker 4: So the little girl, I'm like, we're okay.
Speaker 1: How deep is the water? Oh you can't stand that
is what I'm saying. No, you can't.
Speaker 4: I jumped in and I'm coming up, and I knew
she wasn't gonna run me over with a pontumbo. She went,
I was in the middle of the things.
Speaker 1: Did you say, did you announce I'm going in or
did you know? Spontaneous?
Speaker 4: Spontaneous? She looks you are she was going to drown. Yeah,
and those girls, so get into water. Keep them calm.
We're okay, I'm here, don't worry. I got you. Hold
on ponto. I grab her, the little one up there,
and then they had her brother put a ladder on
the size so they they came around. He helped them
get out of the water. But yeah, I mean they
were they were shaking when the boat I think because
they were a little cold. But also the.
Speaker 1: What the hell why did they Did you get any explanation?
Speaker 4: Like no, because because that time everybody was divided. The
only two people on the pontoon boat were the two
were two guys.
Speaker 3: They stayed on it.
Speaker 4: They stayed at for whatever reason.
Speaker 3: Did they get it out of the water.
Speaker 4: No, the motor never went in, so they were able
to drive it back in. We drove the mother.
Speaker 1: So when everybody got out, what I'm asking is it
came back up to the surface. Yeah, the pontoon boat.
Well yes, yeah, And so this is a weight issue. Yes,
everybody was How big.
Speaker 3: Were some of the people in this.
Speaker 1: Twelve people on it, kid and that that that how
big were some of these adults? Buddy?
Speaker 4: They weren't big ever? Size really?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Kind a shitty pondtoon boat? Is this if you get
everybody up in the front, yeah, like a seesaw.
Speaker 1: Okay, you know you want to? I mean why it's
even funny Like on an airplane, they still have to
distribute everything the right way.
Speaker 4: Yes, and and uh my thought is, why wouldn't you
just if you feel your going up? Okay, everybody stop right, stop,
move back here, let's get this under control instead of
keep going. Because I kept seeing it go, I'm like,
they're not stopping me. Then they'll figure it out.
Speaker 1: Were they drunk?
Speaker 4: You know what? I didn't have time to answer those questions.
We docked it, they got off. What time of day
is this two o'clock?
Speaker 1: No, they're drunk. I gotta think I did not there
were you know you still you crack at ten am.
Speaker 4: I don't do that. You don't o'clock?
Speaker 1: Okay, one o'clock. But I'm just saying, like you got
the kids and stuff. What can happen is you don't
even realize you're drunk. It's it's it's the boiling water theory, right.
If I drop a frog and just regular water and
then slowly turn up the heat.
Speaker 3: If I just slowly start drinking. The next thing, I know.
Speaker 1: Hey, the boat fucked up. I don't think keep going,
you know what I mean? That's like, how does the
noise not.
Speaker 4: If that alone didn't scare you, or know that the
motor's coming out? What the hell you're thinking?
Speaker 1: Right exactly?
Speaker 4: And then I do remember one part. It was a
I think it was an rbnb or a rental cottage,
so maybe they rented the pontoon boat or it came with.
Speaker 1: It experience with the ball.
Speaker 4: Because talking to Marylyn's husband Tim, they've been there sixty years.
They had never seen anything like that. I never even
heard of it.
Speaker 1: No, it's impossible, it seems it seems impossible. That's what
I would say. I have always wanted to have a
house on the canal, and I want to have a
pontoon boat. I want to be one of those annoying
fucks that sits there and has wine and just trolls
down to the bar.
Speaker 4: They do that all the time up there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but because it's it's it's like, you know, stuffy
white people. I have a kayak. I haven't taken my
kayak out in a long time. I actually have to see. Well,
I lost weight Doug, I'm just asking, yes, but the
it was last time, I guess some use.
Speaker 3: My kayak hasn't been wet in a while. I used
to call it Selma kayak.
Speaker 1: I used to say, I'm gonna slip in the Selma.
So I remember like kayaking down into into the village
of Fairport and seeing these people and they were a
little toasted, and they were all sitting there and they're
they're kind of their finery and they're drinking glasses of
white wine, and the ladies like hai, and I go,
That's that's the fucking life I want right there.
Speaker 4: That's it.
Speaker 1: That's all I want.
Speaker 3: I want to live on on the canal.
Speaker 1: And the canal is awful in the in the wintertime
it's pretty desolate, but the in the summer is well.
Speaker 4: The Pine Tree is a very popular bar up there
that snowmobilers know, even from Rochester, Okay, vacation up there.
They go for I don't know hundreds of miles but
maybe hundreds of miles through the trails and everything, and
it's very popular kind of core area.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So if you're up near Old Forge, which is forty
which is forty five minutes away, all right, So they
have their spots where they go for drinks and hanging out.
Speaker 3: I am supposed to. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm calling this the summer my summer of fluidity because
I have no idea, and I don't mean that like
the way some people may say fluidity. But I need
to be kind of no plans. I gotta be a
little more fluid, just because of shit with my old man.
But Mac, yes, he has a big party every year
up at his He has a whole bunch of property
up in the Anrondiccks near Old Forge.
Speaker 4: Did you go to this one a couple of years ago?
Speaker 1: Last year when my son rolled the fucking uh? Didn't
I tell you about that? Jordan's roll rolled the Uh.
We we do a whole thing where you're side by side,
So you go through all the trails in the woods
and you stop at different bars along the way. It's
all day thing. And at one point my son goes,
can I drive? And I said sure? And I had
been fishtailing and stuff and you know, kicking up rocks
and people. Some people were getting annoyed at me, and no,
this is a what's called a side by side. It's
like look out to your if you look at what
the police have right there, yeah, yeah, I wish.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it was a bunch of those razorbacks and stuff
like that. So we rented it and you're all traveling
through and there's a lot of dust, so you're not
necessarily seeing the car in front of you. We had
been drinking, and I knew at this point. I was like, man,
I'm I'm gassed here a little bit. And my kids say,
can I drive? I go sure. Well he starts fishtailing
right playing and I go, slow down, You're not that
good and I and then he goes, I go take
your foot off the accelerator.
Speaker 3: Just take your foot off of it. But don't forget.
This is loud.
Speaker 1: So I'm yelling and I have a helmet on. I'm
going take your foot off the accelerator. Do not hit
the brake, I go, Jordan, do not hit And then
all of a sudden, I went shit and foo right over. Yeah.
Fifteen dollars damage. Wow, yeah, well fifteen hundred dollars deductible. Yeah,
I mean cracked everything, and it was right, it was.
We were able to finish the trip. But I'm like, god, damn, dude,
I remember going, You're not as good as you think
you are.
Speaker 3: I always say that to the boys.
Speaker 1: I always go a whole lot of seconds. None of
us are as good as we think we are, me included, included, although.
Speaker 4: I'm not as good as I was was.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, right, I love that song. But the thing is,
like with the kids, I always say that, and I
will say because like even sometimes in cars and things,
when I'm with the boys, I will freak them out, like.
Speaker 3: I'll punch it and we'll just fucking fishtail out.
Speaker 4: Till now oh yeah, oh oh yeah.
Speaker 1: If I get the right car, fuck yeah. So And
I've had one of my kids go, remember I'm sitting
here because he hates it when I do.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah.
Speaker 3: And then sometimes they'll go, remember Dad, you always say
you're not as good.
Speaker 1: As I go. I am, I am, I am. I
know what I'm doing, I know, I know, until you
go too far, right, Yeah, that's always the that's always
the way.
Speaker 3: All right, we'll take a moment, we'll find out.
Speaker 1: I got a bunch of questions for Dougie Fresh and actually, well,
I don't know if I'm want to get into this
with you or not, but you would see this more
than other people. I kind of saved it urban outlaws
or rolling culture talking about the mini bikes and the
ATVs in the city.
Speaker 4: In the city, I hate them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll get to that right after this.
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I'm telling you the most patriotic desserts I found at Leo's.
I bought American flag moon cookies. Fantastic, great to bring
to a party. Look, people have all kinds.
Speaker 3: To get togethers throughout the summer.
Speaker 1: Go to Leo's. Don't show up and handed come with
you know, how about one pound of Italian cookies?
Speaker 3: Right, can't beat that? Canoi's can't beat.
Speaker 1: That delicious salads that are already made for you. Max salary,
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Speaker 5: It's MJ Dispensary.
Speaker 1: For footloose. Yeah, complete with the tractor. Say this is
for Doug. Yes, it's right, jumping in and saving mama
and her babies. Absolutely, Yeah, things had to be done.
Take care of shit where have all the good men
gun finding Tyler?
Speaker 4: There's no tractor in the middle of the lake.
Speaker 1: No, he had a pont.
Speaker 4: Right, I'm jumping in.
Speaker 1: No fear, baby, you'll you're when.
Speaker 3: You jumped off.
Speaker 1: You're lucky. Starts Monday, does it? I mean, come on,
let's be honest, Doug, we can come up. I've been
I've been pretty good lately.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Well, you're in Maine.
Speaker 1: What do you need? Oh, pizza fish? I mean while
I was in Maine, but I stayed with my father
because he could not be alone.
Speaker 4: And then you're not eating, You're not even hungry. If
that happens, you're you're just sitting there and just talking.
Speaker 1: And no, we we ate me. Yeah, it's been a uh,
it's strange. I don't know how to I wrote you
like I was. I was crushed leaving And I've talked
a little bit about this on the on the podcast.
But my dad is not well and and he has
Parkinson's and so he was living in an apartment in
an assisted living center. But they check on you periodically.
You have something. If you need help, you call, but
you have your own kitchen and things. He needed a
higher level of care. They offer that. So my we
really had to kind of convince him to move, and uh,
my brother and I moved it. Man, we moved that
furniture with the help of one or two of his
friends with the big bookcase. But other than that was
he and I. I've told this portion of the things.
Some people are listening again, I apologize. But as we're
coming in, somebody had died in the in the new
building that we're going into.
Speaker 3: We're carrying in a dresser. The door.
Speaker 1: The second door is a little narrower, so we bump
and I go, oh, we got to push out, and
right behind my brother is the gurney from the funeral
home to pick up the body. The body that's you
didn't jump on.
Speaker 4: You could get.
Speaker 1: We should have something that you should journey rides. We
should anywhere two out of three. Hey, listen, that guy's
already dead. Can we just put this dresser around there
and just push that motherfucker right at boom? Uh? So
that was that was all. Well, my dad had fallen
a lot and really needed would say to me, I'm
afraid to go to sleep. I think my dad could
be labeled as a fatalist. I would say in that
you know, he was calling people saying I'm going to
die tomorrow. You know, I'm calling to say goodbye or whatever,
which is how do you react. I did have a
friend once call me and say, this is probably the
last time I'm calling you. He had really lived with
cancer for about eight years and it had just come
and I remember just sitting there going, I don't I'm
honored that you would take the time to call me.
Like there are times where in life that, as I've
become an adult, you try to think about and I
don't try to process it. I go, I don't know
how to feel. I don't I don't know what to
think of this. And as it went on, I started
to realize it.
Speaker 5: Go.
Speaker 1: The one thing that we all have in life that
is the greatest gift you can give anybody is your time.
I mean, it really is, and I try to I
used to try to always say that to my kids.
It's like, hey, man, be respectful of people's time. Is
we don't know how much he got and if they're
willing to spend it with you, that's quite a compliment
in a way, you know what I mean. I mean,
it's always something I thought I and I started to
think when wo when this guy would called me, it
was like wow, uh and oh it's great food. Well yeah,
and it's just my head. This is what always rolls
around my stupid head. But the uh so with my dad,
he we got him into what's now just like a studio,
right studio apartment basically, but a lot of its furniture
fit in there. The big you know, big heavy leather
black chair, and the big heavy leather black couch, the
grandfather clock, it's all in there. And uh, he did
agree to things that I don't think he wanted to, like,
you know, being helped, being showered, because he said to me,
he signed up to be shit. I'll tell you what, man.
Oh I've never I've never been scrubbed like that before.
She left no stone unturned. Oh she did let me
turn a stone or two. But I mean I was like,
oh my god.
Speaker 4: I think my dad asked me that if it ever
came down here, you showered me. I'm like, you're gonna
be in the front yard with them. No, no, you will.
You'll do it and scare all the deer.
Speaker 1: You'll do it. I did it. I mean, you just
do it, and you do it and there were times.
Speaker 4: Trust me, there were hookers on State Street. They get
twenty dollars for a head if you go shower my
dad for fifty. I'm gonna got options. Put a little
time and effort into it.
Speaker 1: Well, I think, like, uh yeah, I mean these people
are sort of angels in a way, right, I mean
they're coming in every day.
Speaker 3: They scrub them down.
Speaker 4: It takes a certain it does.
Speaker 1: And my dad was a very private, proud guy.
Speaker 3: You know, he built the house I grew up in.
Speaker 1: And then I was talking to him during the week
and you Parkinson's.
Speaker 3: Parkinson's won't kill you.
Speaker 1: That's the unfortunate part, I guess. And I know I
say that because at this point I can't imagine my dad,
who built the house I grew up in and did
all these wonderful, ingenious you know, really a genius of
a person and a doctorate in philosophy and all this stuff,
not having the physical ability to just move. I don't
know that he wants to live that way. I think
he comes from a fire and brimstone religion, and I
think that for him. And you know, also with his
philosophical background is more one of every day your here
is a gift and you got to live to live
the fullest right. So that was kind of his thing.
But then there were a few more falls. I get
a call that he fell after I had already returned. Yeah,
he Doug. I got him up at the walker right,
so he's standing. I get him out of the leather chair.
He's standing at the walker. I moved the coffee table slightly,
just turn my back to move it so that way
there's no no path right, just a clear path to
wherever he's headed. And all of a sudden I hear
he had fallen back into the chair, like his muscles
have atrophied so much. He had.
Speaker 3: My brother stayed with him before I got there.
Speaker 1: I mean, like I can't with my brother. I can
never thank him enough for all he's done for my dad.
It's it absolutely amazing. And my brother and I talked
this morning and he said, look, you're just in it.
Speaker 3: You just do it.
Speaker 1: And I know what he means because you're never looking
at the amount.
Speaker 3: But as somebody who's observing this, like, holy shit.
Speaker 4: Would it be any different if your father was here,
you'd be taking care of him a hundred brother would
be thanking you.
Speaker 1: One hundred percent. But I didn't jump in and go,
Dad were putting you here.
Speaker 3: I didn't do that. He did, And and it may.
Speaker 4: Family that's good because if you have too many Indians,
then enough chiefs.
Speaker 1: Well I'll tell you this because I've heard my brother
seen families squabble because and it gets to the end, Well,
I'm gonna need more for mom and dad now because
then I'm in charge and I but.
Speaker 4: He's gonna come my way and I'm going to handle everything.
Speaker 3: And no, that's ego.
Speaker 4: You've been a screw up for years and now you're
gonna come at the end and look like a hero.
Speaker 3: That's somebody's ego. Yeah, and guilt and stuff.
Speaker 1: To me. My brother's the youngest in the family. I
just all I can say is thank you. I did
not jump into action. I don't know that my dad
wanted to come here. I don't know that I want
to go anywhere, right. I don't even know if he.
Speaker 4: Wants to you Dan Jamison all your place, well.
Speaker 1: That could be yeah, but he decided, so my brother
moved him there. Anyway, the long and the shortest last night,
I get a call my dad fell in while having
lunch or in the dining room or whatever, and whatever
way he fell. He had broken his hip pretty badly.
So he was at the hospit they had given a morphine.
My brother said, I don't think that surgery. I don't
think we should do surgery. It's like I just don't
think so. So then my sister and I and all.
I was recording a podcast last night and I get
the call during that time, so I took a break,
got on the three way call with my brother and sister.
Brother's just feeling us in saying I don't think that
the surgery is a great idea. And then my sister
wrote today going I read a lot of things about hip,
and I think surgery is probably the better option. My
brother's one waiting to talk to the doctor, and the
doctor came in. And I love doctors like this because
it's so true. I always say, the human body is
just a pump and pipes. That's all we really are, right,
I mean, you think about it, it's plumbing, right. The
plumbing gets clogged, get done.
Speaker 3: To a certain degree.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: But wait, sometimes we can go in and we can
you know, wrote a router.
Speaker 4: Doctor Miranda, Room five, Doctor Miranda.
Speaker 1: Room five. You know what I'm saying that, but that's
what we are. We're pumping pipes. So the guy goes, Hey, listen,
where do like carpenters? Basically, he goes, but your dad's
hip broke badly. He cracked the femur and it's at
the ball joint. And he goes, it's really bad, and
I would recommend surgery because otherwise he's probably never going
to be able to sit up again. He goes, I'm
not sure if he'll be able to walk, but I'm
not sure if he'll even be able to sit up
in a wheelchair. Right, So they have to put a
rod and a pin in. He said it should take
He goes, Normally a hip surgery half hour. He goes,
this will probably take an hour. It'll be tomorrow three o'clock.
So they'll admit him and then from there he'll go
to rehab, and then from there, I don't think I'll
ever be back in the room that we just moved
all the furniture into, which means all the furniture's got
to come out of it, and where does it fucking go? Now?
Like my brother's garage, you know what I mean, Like
all that stuff, And I go, God, what you know.
So I feel badly and I said to my brother.
He goes, look, we're just gonna take it one step
at a time. Time here, he said, but it'll be
rehab and then from rehab he'll go to a hospice house.
He's like, I don't think you know. So there's a
piece of me that and this sounds so weird, but
I go, at this point, is exiting the earth maybe
the best thing to happen, you know what I mean?
And I know that sounds heavy and mean maybe a
little bit, but I don't mean it that way. But
I'm thinking my brother's kids. They're twelve and eight years old.
They left on Sunday for two weeks a camp, no
kids for two weeks. My brother and his wife were
looking forward to that. My brother even jokingly after a
couple of beers, goes, kids were not coming up in between.
Because your mother has promised to do things she's never
promised me, you know, like this guy's right, and now here's
my dad, And I go to all this.
Speaker 4: Shit that But sometimes life just throwsy.
Speaker 3: It does, it does, and you deal with it.
Speaker 1: But I just wonder if if for all parties involved,
I don't know, I don't know. I hate saying that.
It sounds cruel. There's a piece of me that feels
like it's cruel.
Speaker 4: But you would be and uh undignified, and we would
allow our pets, right, do you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: And I know that sounds so shitty, but and people,
but I'll just say this, how many people have said
these are my fur babies?
Speaker 3: Oh, I know what it's like to have a kid.
Speaker 1: I used to get so pissed because my buddy goes,
I remember this one I had, like my kids were
sixteen months apart, and you're pulling your hair out and
they're all over the place, and somebody goes, I know
what you're going through, man, I just got a puppy.
And I remember turned around. I remember turning around and going, yeah,
I can't send my kid outside to shit in the
front lawn and come back in. I just it's allowed.
It's like, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: If you have a puppy whimpers, you throw them in
the bathroom, shut the door. You're not gonna listen to them,
your kids crying, You're getting up out of bed right
seven eight times a night.
Speaker 1: But there are people who will who do? And and
it's wonderful. I think and treat your pets please. I
love dogs. I'm a big f.
Speaker 4: I dug sitting right now.
Speaker 1: But you wouldn't allow your dog and I go, boy,
it almost feels like we're cruel. Now, my dad is
of a sound somewhat of a sound mind, I'll say,
and so that's his decision. I will say this, and
I'll ask you because I didn't mean to get sort
of heavy on this, uh stuff, but this is what's
happening in my work right now. Ah, your mom passed
away last summer, last.
Speaker 3: October, right, I remember getting the I remember.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's right, you called. For those of you don't
know this, I was at my mom's house, she had
just died the day before, and Bill's calling me, and uh,
I accidentally hit the green button. I really don't want
to talk about this. And Bill heard this part and
started joking, Oh, who is she?
Speaker 1: Who? She was big? How big would I go?
Speaker 4: She wasn't no, come out? She was fair?
Speaker 1: Wasn't you bang a fan?
Speaker 4: Check out?
Speaker 1: Fair?
Speaker 4: With like Bill?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: And he kept going, Finally, go, Billy goes what I go?
My mom Digesteday, he goes and after a little silence,
I am so sad. I didn't I go.
Speaker 1: I know you didn't.
Speaker 4: I wasn't mad because you didn't know.
Speaker 3: How could you be mad?
Speaker 4: He couldn't?
Speaker 1: I mean, if anything else, it's a great story now, yeah,
it is now right even at the moment I fucking
roared about it.
Speaker 3: You did, Yeah, because that's me.
Speaker 4: My mother was ready to go and.
Speaker 1: Just but take it from Yeah, yes, okay, But when
that happens, did you at any point look at your
own life and go? What? Well, here's why I look
at my life and go, if the average life inspectancy
is to seventy eight, how much more time do I have?
Speaker 3: And what am I doing with it?
Speaker 4: Well, my sister brought something up and when her father died. Well,
I'm in a split family, have two stepsisters, my biological sister.
Their father died and they had something called the dashes.
Have you ever heard?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Yeah, what do you do between the da.
Speaker 4: So I'm born seven dash twenty seven seventy and whenever
I die will have dashers in it. So what you
do between the dashes? And I've thought about this before,
but I try not to dwell on where I went
or where my path because I think I'm very blessed
with family, especially friends I have. I mean tell you this,
I mean, that's what's an important life. So with the
making the movie that didn't go well, the comedy that
I when, Yeah, funniest person person that I open up for,
danber and now silence. So you just got to keep
going in life. And I've raised two hundred and fifteen
thousand dollars for breast cancers.
Speaker 1: That's that's something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's something. Yeah, that's impressive.
Speaker 1: No, I right, and I think that for me, it's
like I have a lot more stuff I want to do. Yeah,
and I got to get moving. Yeah you know that
that's my thing. All those things, all those fears that
you have, and wow, if I do it and it
doesn't work, and I fuck it either, do it?
Speaker 4: Say that people were the most successful the ones that
failed the most because they just kept trying.
Speaker 1: They never gave up, right, I mean you can hear
them about my bucket list.
Speaker 4: I would I would like to uh see San Fran
game in San Fran. Yeah, you know, I think I
want to go see the Grand Canyon. Yeah, get laid
a few more times. Yeah, you know, stuff like that,
I have a threesome.
Speaker 1: Maybe you do two, maybe you do two things at once.
You see her grand canyon and they go close enough.
Speaker 4: It looks hello, Hello, Hello.
Speaker 3: You didn't have to say it twice.
Speaker 4: I didn't, you know, bang somebody under seventy six years old.
Speaker 1: I just stuck, you know, just mild balls, right, sures things,
things that have to do. There is something that I've
thought about a lot, and I go, I remember reading
this and it just popped into my head today, and
it's for people like you go, so, how did the
people who were super successful? Because you always go, well,
there's twenty four hours in a day, and Oprah built
an empire, and Bill Gates did this, and Steve Jobs
did this, and I remember reading something and they go,
A lot of those people would figure out, what are
the three most important things I need to do? I
was my business in the next eighteen hours.
Speaker 4: I just I just said that to a buddy of
mine within the hour.
Speaker 1: Yeah did you really? Yeah? Yeah, it's in a book too,
and it's like, what do you have to do in
the next eighteen hours? And keep the noise up and
just everything else is a distraction or noise and how
do you play above the noise? Yeah?
Speaker 4: And it's about Steve Jobs.
Speaker 3: Yes, it was in his book too.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I was going back through stuff and I
saw that, and I'm like, that's the thing, right, because
if you're focused on the big picture, sometimes we lose
other things. What are the three most important things in
the next that I got to get done before my
head hits the pillow type of shit?
Speaker 3: And I think if you do that, you'll be fine.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Man, I had to take care of the dogs
this morning. Go to the train station, get my Folks
podcast with you. I'm gonna go check it on the
dog again. Then I'm going to red Wing Stadium and
Thurman Thomas is signing a nice So.
Speaker 1: If you're looking to stock dogery, I am.
Speaker 4: Or if you'd like to come with me. Yeah, all
you gotta do is stand in line for an hour.
Gates open a five thirty. I'll be there four thirty.
I have a few extra tickets. Oh look at you,
go right in. Go to the right stand in line.
I got a jersey, too many helmets, and I think
like twelve or thirteen pictures. I was hoping to have
that many people because not only for breast cancer fundraising,
but I gave it to Jay Cohing for als like
tripany for I had kids, so I spread their wealth,
help help, you know, build their raffle tables.
Speaker 1: I say, a very nice thing that you do, dog
people have really yeah, people helping people. And I would
go back to your your sense of family and stuff. Boy,
sometimes I regret how far away from everybody I am
in my family at this point, because and we were
like scattered, you know, my brothers in me and my
sisters in DC. I'm here, but my dad's brother moved
to Utah or you know, moved out west and bounced
around out there as a pilot for Delton, never really
came back east. And it was just sort of that
was sort of the mentality of well, you don't stay here,
why would you stay here? And I'm starting to see
the benefit of, you know, family, and one of the
things I always loved about where we are is the
sense of family and how many people leave and come.
Speaker 4: Back from where you were in Rochester.
Speaker 1: Ches not from where I am, no, but you know,
leave and then and come back here and to be
closer to family and realize what a great area this
really is. It really is.
Speaker 4: I love this area. Yeah, I'm running for mayor in
two years. I'm gonna have an iron fist. Okay, yeah,
just like you know.
Speaker 1: Are you God? I would love it if you're for
fucking mayor. God damn, I want to see that.
Speaker 4: I just these clips that you're seeing Rochester Rocks or
Rock Rochester just rocking on Mad Rock, Rock on Mad.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: The fighting of the dran Park beach. Uh yeah, you know,
pistols being fired.
Speaker 1: Just why why why? I don't know, so said, I
don't know.
Speaker 4: Uh, you know that I was told this years ago.
But at one point five out of ten businesses that
sponsored the Olympics were in Rochester. Yeah, yeah it was
IBM zero Xerox was IBM here I could look it up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought they.
Speaker 1: Were down more and where I grew up in the
Pekeepsie had uh Wapingers Falls area, But either way, still
to have those that's a lot. Yeah, yeah, I think
it all came from here. Yeah, we will take a moment,
we'll get into a little bit of that. Let's see
what Zuckie's gonna do as he runs from mayor of
the city around Yeah, baby.
Speaker 4: Get to that iron fist.
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Speaker 4: Joe Cocker.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, it's one of my favorite sounds. You
got a half nothing guy need a little jail time.
Billy Preston, Billy Preston, Billy Preston running around in circles
was Billy Preston and Billy Preston.
Speaker 4: Uh, he doesn't sing get Back? He sing Get Back
the Beatles and Sergeant Pepper's movie.
Speaker 1: Yes he did, and he played keyboard for Beatles stones
he played with on songs and uh, I think he
got caught with an underage. I don't know. I don't
think it was. I'll tell you so, I can't. You
can't justify it, right, you can't justify it, but I
would go. I don't think Billy Preston was a child molester.
I think Billy Preston saw some young person and didn't
realize maybe they were fourteen instead of eighteen. And you know,
but I don't know. Don't you remember?
Speaker 3: Don't you just fucking love this stuff?
Speaker 4: That a good get you going?
Speaker 3: That's right?
Speaker 1: More around poverty urban outlaws of the rolling culture. Doug
is an uber driver and goes through the city as
a yes, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like no, no, no,
but I meant you see you like we always joke
about me.
Speaker 4: It gives me freedom. Yes, I had to pick my
parents up at the train station. Today I get to
dog sit which bounce this stuff out. I can work
on the breast cancer fundraiser. Yeah you know, yeah, like
I'm going tonight. But you see stuff I see that
I don't, right, And that's my point. As of July,
in the city.
Speaker 1: Work closest to which is Rochester, New York, The department
has seized eighty four mini bike It's good dirt bikes,
ATVs and off road vehicles. This year the first defense
incurves a five hundred dollars fine, subsequent offenses costing two
thousand now. In April, the current mayor, Malik Evans said,
the choice is simple. You either make it street legal
or they will be scrapyard. Ready.
Speaker 3: Why are they auction these things off?
Speaker 4: They should in different ones. Yeah, different towns. Come on, man, yeah,
make some money for the absolutely.
Speaker 1: But you see this stuff and it's almost like modern
outlaws when they come down the street.
Speaker 4: Yes, and helmet I haven't seen yeah, usually no helmet.
There's a guy that has reels on Facebook. He just
does wheelies all down the street. Now I've seen it. Yeah,
I mean from fifty yards close, going through intersections.
Speaker 1: Some of these people And here here's the thing. They're
not criminals. Necessarily. Necessarily they are breaking laws. I don't
like it because.
Speaker 4: It they're not criminals. Well, I say, people breaking the law.
One's a criminal to you?
Speaker 1: Well, I would say this if you were driving and
you got and you broke, you ran a red lighter.
Speaker 4: If they guys doing a wheelie down the street, and
it's against self expression.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying.
Speaker 4: It's between lights, yes, and this this lady has a
kid in yes, yes, screams right in front of her.
She gets she gets scared. Right, that's the it's a
wheel that's hits, hits another car, I hear and dies
with her daughter. Now is he a criminal, Well, it's
it's street ballet or urban terror.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I called street la until somebody it
becomes urban. Now I see what you're saying. My point
is like, if you or I ran a red light,
does that make us a criminal necessarily because we broke
a driving law? No, it doesn't, we broke law. Uh.
These guys, to me are exactly what you were saying,
and it scares the ship out of me because I
don't want to hurt somebody.
Speaker 3: I don't want that to happen. I'd like to.
Speaker 1: It's just text came in from my sister. Sorry, but
I don't want to hit somebody and then have that
on my conscience. And by the way, it was because
of your behavior and your way of.
Speaker 4: Doing You know it's wrong and you're still doing it.
I've seen at vs out there, I've seen the games
like the Black Widows from any which way, but lose
either way.
Speaker 1: I mean, I could say this maybe lower on the
criminal scale they got. There's probably other ship going on.
By the way, they're not streetly. Where are you getting
it from? Who owned it? Originally from Geneva? Somebody stole that, absolutely,
because we could go it's the you know now, maybe
not maybe not.
Speaker 4: Maybe they have hard working jobs. But if you're you know, maybe.
Speaker 1: It's just you got time to do fucking wheelies down
the middle of that's true on a Saturday. I guess, yeah,
I guess you could.
Speaker 4: Where are you learning to do these wheelings?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: You don't learn one hour. You don't learn ride a unicycle?
Speaker 3: No you know, No you do not, Yes you do.
Did I see you on a unicycle?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 3: Where did I see this video of you?
Speaker 4: Facebook memories? I think I dagged you?
Speaker 1: Yeah he did. It was a few years ago. It
was pretty good. Yeah. Good balance, yes, well, wrestling, you'd
have to have good balance.
Speaker 4: It takes a while. You got to keep yourself in front.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And momentum yeah, like what we should be doing in life. Oh,
I was keep yourself and keep the momentum going.
Speaker 1: I was trying to, uh, because that's what I say
to my dad, you know, the way you're leaning, trying
to lean balance wise. I want to get one of those.
I used to have a balance board. It was just
a barrel and a board.
Speaker 4: Yeah I remember, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and if I always thought that was great, like
it was great for the kids.
Speaker 4: This is one of my nieces nephews.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's great for kids because they find that balance
and you can see, like most athletic people have a
pretty good sense of balance. And uh, Doug certainly.
Speaker 4: Does remember those. Those would be great Christmas gifts before internet,
cell phones, everything like that. Games, you know, stuff you
could keep busy for you know, a few hours, look
forward to doing it in the summer. I mean we've
lost that. Uh, you know, even a basketball. I don't
see kids out in the street playing football like I
used to do, or even basketball a little bit around,
very little around the birds the parks, even in the city,
but you know, just pick up games, you know. Outside
it's nice to see people walking. I see in a
fairport in Pittsford. Well, not too much in this city though, no,
I mean I see bums and people with their cardboard
size and wearing nikes and their backpacks with bottle water,
so they're good to stand there all day asking you
for a slap man, I would fucking nail that stop.
She got the right way and blue water already?
Speaker 1: How old? Probably like old raty. Yes that's what I
was thinking. She does. Your Dougie can run up? Where's Mallory?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: Okay, all right? The date?
Speaker 4: Yes, I've told you got all about it?
Speaker 1: So did I? I apologize. I have lost all sense
of time. I really have put all the shit going
on with my old man.
Speaker 3: What happened?
Speaker 1: Yeah? What's their well?
Speaker 4: Tonight I'm going out to get donations, well, science signatures
and Thermon Thomas and as many of you know, this
will be my fifteenth year of running fundraisers, okay for
the Breast Cancer Coalition, in my sixth year of running duel.
I got golf tournament August twenty fifth. That's full if
I told you that, one hundred and forty one people,
and then bowling is October eighteenth at Bowler Roll and Henrietta.
Speaker 1: What does this have to do with Mallory?
Speaker 4: I don't know where I was going with this. Go
ahead with Mallory.
Speaker 3: I don't know, wh where were we going.
Speaker 4: I was gonna go. I was gonna say if anybody
would like info, find me on Facebook, Dug Felt. Or
if you have a favorite restaurant and you want to
contribute something like a gift card, send it to Bill
Moore in here, okay, you know, or or call us
in write us on Facebook. How you can help from
now up from now till October.
Speaker 1: You can email Bill at Bill Moran Productions dot com.
It's all right there.
Speaker 4: Because every bit of the day from now till then
is partly going to be with breast cancer. Okay, yeah,
all right, I have which I'm very proud of.
Speaker 1: Yeah you should be.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's it's it's good stuff that.
Speaker 1: You give back and you do a lot of nice
nice a lot of people.
Speaker 4: It's getting I have, Well, I think I have four
teams waiting golf. So now I'm going to make a decision.
Do you do two next year? We can do that
because we're making that many people are hurt. How fun
it is.
Speaker 1: Going? Do you want to do two or do you
want to like just up the ane on this one?
It's a little more expensive to get in.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I don't want to do that. Let's just
have a good time. Yeah, you can have two good
times in a year. Actually, I'm thinking very seriously, I'm
gonna talk to my team about doing one for prostate
and colon cancer next June, the week and before the fourth.
Speaker 1: Should we have a doctor in here and give you
a prostate examine on the air If she's hot, that
lady just walk by.
Speaker 4: So so Mallory.
Speaker 1: Doug and Mark, we're supposed to go out and dates
with the same person. Mark did have, Okay, all I know.
Speaker 4: Is that he went to Schooner's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know much about that. So the question is,
I don't know much about any of it anymore. Uh.
Speaker 3: So I think she's still interested.
Speaker 1: And I just got caught up with and so things,
things got out of control, and I'm I'm back and I.
Speaker 3: You asked me what date.
Speaker 4: Is, I'd have to stop and think absolutely.
Speaker 1: Right to what data is? So uh and there's so
many things in motion. I had, like this pad with
just a bunch of things I got to get done
and I'm trying to pick the biggest ones to get
done for I picked my three. Yeah you three? So
uh yes, But the date is going to happen. Well,
we will make that happen. Do you have plans? I
thought you said.
Speaker 4: You had an idea? You know, I may to tell you.
Speaker 1: No, I do if you're willing to share.
Speaker 4: SHI thought that. Uh where was I? I think in
Buffalo when I took you there. Yeah, I haven't been
a nice in a long, long time. Drive there, have
a good conversation, ride the maid of the miss, which
I've never done, and then drive back. That's it, Okay,
something different, something I've never done. But of course she
gets bored with my conversation, says, turn around. My mother's
calling me.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I could be fun.
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna go to a movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't.
Speaker 4: I I don't Where would you go on a you know,
on a date? Well, I was thinking, like some of
the things I've seen on Love Connection or blind Date
was a TV show out of l A. You know,
you're not going to go and get your first tattoo
together or a piercing or they would line things up
like the what is that the axe and hatchip drink?
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, throw the axes. Uh.
Speaker 4: I don't know why that popped into my mind. It's
there's enough people around, you're not one on one, you
can just talk.
Speaker 1: I would.
Speaker 4: It's been a while since I have to dust off
my dating.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was thinking the same
thing because I don't know what I would do. I
don't know what I would do. I think like a
winery would be nice, Like that would be something that
I could do, but I I don't know most of them.
Speaker 4: Like as long as I could uber you there, you're
fucking drunk.
Speaker 1: Well, I'll see. This is the problem. This is the
fucking problem. I know that's the problem. I can't I
care that. That's Julie right hot, damn.
Speaker 4: You know she stopped me outside.
Speaker 1: Alight, okay, all right? Yeah, she like made it the
miss Yeah, the name of one of the strippers you
used to.
Speaker 4: With the windows down there was made of the best
Kyle Watch was over me before I knew it.
Speaker 1: Oh god, I think there was years ago, years ago.
This is really bad. But I think on the radio.
I don't know that I was there for it, but
I know it happened. They put a kiddie pool in
one of the studios and some featured stripper was coming
around and she could piss from across the room into
the pool, and I think we did. I think they
did it in the radio. And one of the things
you really couldn't talk about FCC wise was bodily fluid,
Like I know, it's weird, it was fucking weird, but
you couldn't talk about that stuff. So I think there
was like a hall guy. I think everybody was in
so much fucking trouble.
Speaker 4: I mean, how did you describe that.
Speaker 1: I wasn't part of that. I wasn't part of that thing.
I just remember walking in and seeing the kiddie pool
and went, oh boy, uh yeah, what are we at today? Yes,
it was pretty wild. But so I'm thinking her name
could have been made of the miss aw there's yeah,
when we've all experienced something in life. I don't know, Uh,
I like that idea. I don't know, Doug. When it
comes to like a date.
Speaker 4: I know women don't like, well, I can't say this
eat on the first day because you're trying to chew
your talking, and yeah, I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I think like that. I think with me, it wouldn't.
I wouldn't, you know.
Speaker 4: I'm not maybe something appetizers and ice cream or yeah, abbots,
But then I'm gonna look like a pig as a child.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, and then it's like, oh god, yeah, hey, you're.
Speaker 4: Gonna finish that. I'm gonna wear another one. While you're
talking exercise, Doug, Oh yeah, exercise my right to buy abbots.
Speaker 1: I am what like you do wonder what would be
what would be a good date? And I'm what a
good date would be? All right, hang on, I'll do
you one better. We'll do you one better. Let me see.
I'll go to chat GPT, right and go give me.
Speaker 3: Three chat GPT. It's AI.
Speaker 1: Give me three unique first date ideas. You first date ideas. Boom,
let's see what they get. Okay, here are three offbeat
but actually doable first date ideas that go beyond drinks
or dinner memorable without trying too hard.
Speaker 3: This is the thing.
Speaker 1: It's like, you don't want to try too hard, and
I sometimes just go at this point in my life,
if I were to date, it's like I just have
to be me. I what you see is what you get, baby,
that's all right? Hit it, okay, Jesus Christ, I hate
this already. I hate the first fucking one. I fucking
hate it. Hit a thrift store with twenty dollars each.
You pick out an outfit for each other, then wear
them out to grab ice creamer coffee, silly low Stake's
fun that reveals personality, taste and confidence. Perfect icebreaker. I'll
tell you what that is a fun shit thing to
do later on. I'm not doing that on a.
Speaker 4: First date, can I Can? I swing it around? Yeah,
let's up it to fifty dollars and go to show world.
Speaker 1: First date, first date. You pick this.
Speaker 4: You picked the outfits for one another, so you want
the domination leather broad I'm gonna take the Star Wars
Chebacca g string with it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right? Ready? Number two bookstore Roulette and rooftown
rooftop snacks. Go to a local bookstore or library. Each
person finds a book the other has to read based
on nothing but vibes. Then head to a nearby rooftop
parking garage, park, et cetera with snacks and trade stories
or read passages out loud. They say why it works romantic,
low pressure and sparks deeper convos without being too intense.
Speaker 4: All right, listen, I hate that one less than a
hundred pages.
Speaker 1: These are two that I fucking hate. I would not
want to do these on first dates. If some chick
said to me, why don't we go with twenty dollars,
You're like, don dope, why don't we go with twenty dollars?
An dolls exactly. I'm pissing away in it, and guess
some great fucking stories. I'll give you some.
Speaker 4: Great to be part of the story.
Speaker 1: Three guinness. I got great. Believe me, I've lived, I
got shit, I got I got everything. You want trauma,
I got it? You want funny, I got that, I
got it all. Uh diy street food step street me,
street food crawl. Pick a neighborhood with food trucks or
hole in the wall spots. I like this one.
Speaker 4: They do that every Wednesday at railroad station, a railroad crossing, and.
Speaker 1: You each pick one off. The other has to try.
See again. These are like I don't want to be
picking shit out for you, and go try this, and
then all of a sudden, I don't tell you what
it is, and you have a shrimp allergy, and now
your fucking face blew up and your ears are glowing,
and I gotta go find benadrel and possibly you know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: Again, Let's get that one right out of the way.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 3: Talking about a shrimp allergy.
Speaker 1: You pick one of the other tries and rate them
like you're running a bootleg food network show.
Speaker 4: You just said to pick out three. To give you
any more after that?
Speaker 3: No, I said three? Do you want more?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: All right? Fun? All right? What niche ideas for introverts,
thrill seekers or creative types.
Speaker 3: Let's see what thrill seekers.
Speaker 1: Say I want to see. Well, no, you're not a
thrill seeker. I have a thrill secret. Well, like, I'll
tell you what we thrill Let me tell you what.
Speaker 4: I'm back and have a cigarette. Don't finish the cigarette
and get it on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well I've been there too many times in my life. Yeah,
that's a hat. There, done that. Here's what I would
love to do. Here's a first date I would fucking
love And I don't know if a chick would like
this or not. Please write in if you would be
willing if this and I want I don't want somebody
to answer this because then they're gonna think I'm going
to take him on the first date and it's not
going to happen. We're not doing that. But I would
want to go I would like to take somebody to
walkins Glen, rent a car and take you for three
laps around the track and they do that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, you can do that.
Speaker 1: Actually, I have a buddy who owns a little speech
shop and he sets up down there and he does
all the repairs for the rich guys that come in
and just drive their cars. There are people that have
like he will trailer down a ferrari that is built
for the track. It's a dentist in Long Island, and
the guy flies up and just blows off steam by
hitting the track, you know, and if a break goes,
if a pin pops, if a caliper, whatever, he's right there,
you know, Kevin puts it all back together. But I
would love to do that and then hit a winery,
a couple of wineries on the way back. I think
that would be a fucking blast. Yeah right, But you
could see how like how adventurous this person is. It's fun.
It's different. Who's taking you in a fucking legit race
car to go one hundred and sixty miles an hour
and you better trust me. Yeah, wouldn't that be fun?
Speaker 4: It would be great.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's see what you want creative types. Okay, let's
go dates for creative types. Let's see what doug he says.
And by the way, I would like people to let
us know what these these date like the ones we
just read from AI. Would that be Would people be
open to that or would that be weird?
Speaker 4: I think people, all right, you're always looking for something
to do. Yeah, you know, whether they do it or not,
they at least like to hear about it and be like,
I wouldn't do that. Oh that would be too much
for me.
Speaker 1: Well, well, here's the thing. I'll ask you this. I
have said that I have found now that I'm of
a man of a certain age, and people know that
I am legally separated from my wife when I was married.
I think that, I say, women are more aggressive, but
they're more outgoing. But I think so. I do wonder
if they'd be more at this age willing to try
these things. Because I couldn't see my twenty three year
old son. I would almost like to ask him, go, hey,
if you went on a first date and need pick
out outphits for maybe that would be fun. Maybe that
would be so quirky fun. I'm I'm too too stuck
in my head to think about it. That might be fun.
Speaker 4: Down on Hudson, buying each other sneakers.
Speaker 1: All right, here we go silence, sketch off in the park,
bring sketchbooks, cheap art supplies or iPads. Pick a subject,
strangers walking by a weird statue each other and draw
silently for fifteen minutes. Then reveal it's fun, vulnerable, and
get you into into creative flow without the pressure of
constant talking plus drawing each other flirty as hell, especially
if this what if I see now, here's what I
would do, and it would be said, I would draw
stick figure with huge tits and I go, it's you.
Speaker 4: That would be me, lines and circles, that's it.
Speaker 1: That's it. Hey, you know what, look at the guns
on that boat. The audio diary walk, Take a walk
and use your phone's voice recorder to make weird little
audio diary together. Narrate what you see, make up stories
about strangers, describe what your alien selves think of Earth.
It's weird, playful taps into storytelling muscles. Plus you end
up with a surreal souvenir of the first date. No, okay,
I agree with that.
Speaker 3: One object challenge. This may be up your alley.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I only saw the first three words of the
of the next sentence. Go to a dollar store or
flea market, pick one strange object each. Then go to
a cafe or bar, and come up with a short story, song,
or scene inspired by the two objects.
Speaker 3: Bonus points If you acted out, that might be neat.
Speaker 4: If you created it for the other person, they had
to make it up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, creative improv calling it that instant chemistry test. Do
they riff or freeze? I don't know, man, I always
think like, if you got a personality in that half
the battle.
Speaker 4: I need.
Speaker 3: I need these gimmicks.
Speaker 4: Some people aren't big talkers like us, and it's tough
to bring.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh that's true, you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and some of the dating sites I've seen, You know,
I'm shy at first that I warm up, So I'm
not shy at first. Yeah, sometimes I'm overly, you.
Speaker 1: Know, just like a model T from nineteen twenty eight.
Speaker 3: Oh, let me.
Speaker 1: Crank you up, baby, warming up?
Speaker 4: Maybe I can't get.
Speaker 1: It shut up? Yeah right, Well, I'd love to hear
people's thoughts on those dates. Are they something that people
would want to try, or would you be like, what
the flip is this guy right? You know that's it?
All right, We'll take them moment. I got questions for Doug.
Oh good. Yeah, like almost the tails from the strip,
but sort of will lead you. We have answers, I
think you will. We'll get to that right after this. Hey.
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Speaker 4: Everybody welcome to the world famous Podcast Bill. Moran you
got the, one the, only the him shaking money making
tower Power man in the hour twenty four to, seventh
the one your mother warned you, About Dougie fresh and
has at this, TIME i want you to keep your
hands and feet inside of the car till the ride
comes to complete.
Speaker 1: Stop i'm hotter than the, sun cooler than the other
side of the pillow by the. LADIES i get more
waves In? Hawaii can you? DO i get more waves Than?
Hawaii like that. One i've never heard. Of.
Speaker 4: ACCIDENT i came up with that a couple of years.
Speaker 1: Ago it's, right this is one of your. Songs, man
IS i gotta queued up in my? Car did you? Really?
Speaker 4: Yeah cool uber riders or people getting weddings or single,
ladies and, yeah all the single, ladies all the single,
ladies all.
Speaker 1: The single Lead now when you dj do they still
throw the garter in the.
Speaker 4: Mid that's kind of gone.
Speaker 1: Away, yeah especially the.
Speaker 4: Garden they still throw the.
Speaker 3: Book, okay, yes but the garters the carters.
Speaker 4: Said, yeah nobody wants to say they've gone to the
anniversary dance a.
Speaker 3: Lot i've been to The Grand. Canyon keep your legs.
Speaker 4: Closed the anniversary, dance you know what that? Is, everybody
every couple get on the dance floor With mark And,
lisa and, okay if you if you're just, dating off
the dance. Floor if you've been married five year or,
less get out the dance. Floor then you go ten
years or, less twenty, years thirty, years thirty. Five then
you get down the last few and the last couple
up there you go four forty five, years forty, six forty,
seven forty, Eight, yeah keep going in a you, know
fifty to fifty to fifty three, years fifty three, years,
yeah or whatever it might. Be so the one they're
dancing with other people, that, yeah THE ymc has been out.
Outdated last WEDDING i, did she didn't Win Jesse's, girl
but her brother was Named. Jesse and she's, Like i've
heard this song all my. LIFE i that at my.
Wedding i'm, like that's, fine you, SURE i. Go it's your.
Wedding you know What i'm Hearing more and more these
DJs are telling people you pick ten, Songs i'll take
care of the.
Speaker 1: Rest oh like, what, yeah, WELL i mean it's a
lot in planning. Wedding maybe it takes the pressure. OFF
i don't, know no IT i you know What i'm.
Speaker 4: Saying i'm gonna sit down with a bride this weekend
THAT i, know and we're gonna go through all my,
folders just go country, rock fun, folder slow, music wedding.
Dance i'm gonna look and you, Know i'm gonna look at,
you and you've got a. Cursor you just skip to
the next. Song and IF i don't hear any or
see any, REACTION i know you don't want. It but
as soon as, OH i like this, one then you
move it to the, folder and you move it too the.
Floor so by the time a couple of hours gone,
by maybe an hour for, that it's only two. Seconds
we gotta but if you don't know. It and then
by the end she's, like how many we?
Speaker 1: Have?
Speaker 4: None like we got one hundred and twenty shecues that.
MANY i, go that's how quick it. Goes so you're
gonna know all these, songs you? Know then you have you?
Know do you Want Sweet? Caroline Neil, diamond you Want
John dever Take Me? Home Country? Road jesse's Girl Grease
footloose wrote the rodeo song kind OF i.
Speaker 1: Joke does anybody ask for her up before he? Cheats?
Speaker 4: Yeah no anymore they? Did, yeah, yeah shut The she
was real popular back in day. One, tennessee whiskey is
still popular song to, play you, Know AND i tell,
go pick six soul. Songs if you don't have, It
i'm gonna play you know the FEW i?
Speaker 3: Have how about Al?
Speaker 1: Green let's stay? Again that? One? YEAH i love that.
Speaker 4: Song how DO i live without?
Speaker 1: You well very?
Speaker 4: Easily, Yeah Whitney. Houston, YEAH i will always love you the.
Greatest we had not an argument debate on her being
the greatest voice of all, time and my Friend rich was,
like who? Else who else is even? Closing i'm, like Oh,
Sherer he's, like, no not Share. SELENE i came up
With selene and he, goes, okay, YEAH i.
Speaker 3: Mean selene's amazing.
Speaker 1: Voice, yes.
Speaker 4: AMAZING i, mean who's even close To whitney, that you?
Speaker 1: KNOW i can't think? Anybody? Uh as a former strip CLUB,
dj current, bartender new, driver which of those gigs gave
you the best stories and maybe the worst? Smells bartending
the best stories and probably the worst. SMELLS i mean
somebody vomits.
Speaker 4: Or, yes the worst SMELL i ever had was DJing
a strip Club sam Soft row and somebody opened up
a can of pepper strap spray in THE la.
Speaker 1: WHY i don't.
Speaker 4: Know some somebody had in their. PERSON i don't even remember.
WHY i just remember that was the.
Speaker 1: Worst. Uh any any fake? Name which job had the
most fake? Names do you ever? See?
Speaker 3: Like, okay how about fake fake?
Speaker 1: IDs fake?
Speaker 4: IDs i didn't idealize BECAUSE i was never a bouncer
and either they had it or they didn't or they were.
Friends so, no how ABOUT i used to in? College oh, yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Remember my dad came To fisher and we chalked his
to be a senior citizen BECAUSE i think at the
time he was forty five or forty. Four, uh what
one had the most real bodily? Fluids, wow? BARTENDING i
would think bartending even over strip CLUB dj.
Speaker 4: Bodily fody fluid for fighting and shit like.
Speaker 1: That, NO i don mean farting and. Shit i'm just, saying,
like you, know but we could make it disgusting and,
dirty But i'm thinking you, Probably, YEAH i would.
Speaker 4: Think so that's never come up in conversation.
Speaker 1: Before but have you ever picked someone up in your
uber who later ended up at the bar or recognized
you from your days as a strip CLUB? Dj?
Speaker 4: Yes and, NO i picked up an ex husband of a.
Dancer really, YEAH i actually dropped him off OF. bTB
this is like three years. Ago no, shit, yeah talking
ABOUT i don't know how he got into strip clubs
DJing this, that and he, goes do you know such
a such A oh, yeah she was a fucking bitch
and he, goes, yeah that's my ex, wife like oh,
Really and then we picked up his. Girlfriend then we
went to B. dB apparently she her his ex wife
ex dancer moved out Of stay and became a. Nurse, okay,
LIKE i HOPE i never get sick in the stake
there's a box of.
Speaker 3: Rocks well really, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah it is amazing sometimes when you see somebody and, go,
wow they really are. Dumb, yeah they are really.
Speaker 4: DUMB i, mean if you can't make it up to
stage to take your clothes off and your leg to,
that what are you going to do with the outside,
world you, know besides getting drunk and doing drugs and
god knows what just being? Irresponsible, yeah you know you
have a five hour. Shift you know you can't make
it on time for, That well you would really do.
Nothing you're you're dancing three? Times you hate?
Speaker 1: It you hate. It that's that's somebody who just doesn't
really want to do.
Speaker 4: It, well there's something, else but you're go on, stage
dance for three, songs go, down drink for forty five, minutes,
smooth get a lamp, dance maybe get free. DRINKS i
think they just have such a miserable.
Speaker 3: Life, yeah that's WHAT i.
Speaker 1: Mean AND i think that misery carries, over you, know
get the sad depressed.
Speaker 4: Strip, yeah that's the most. Sadness, WELL i don't.
Speaker 1: Know with uber, ing.
Speaker 4: That's a toss up.
Speaker 1: Where you see the sadder, People oh, yeah yeah and
the people watching an uber sure Probably uber, now, yeah
hearing some of the stories BECAUSE i don't, Forget i'm
picking him out from from parole on fits you picking
out from.
Speaker 4: Rehab really, yeah and driving them to another. Rehab. Yeah
well they're telling me their story of how they.
Speaker 3: Work every day and it all fell.
Speaker 4: Apart, yeah oh, YEAH i remember taking a lady to.
PAROLE i. FORGET i think domestic abuse IF i pronounce
them to domestic abuse and a couple of teeth mithing
and uh YEAH i used to, hook But i'm doing better.
NOW i just got a fight with my, boyfriend so
somebody had to call the cops and somebody had to.
Go SO i DECIDED i, go and we're working it, out, like.
Speaker 1: Oh, man you hate seeing that stuff because you, go.
Speaker 4: You would have more stories for your. Podcast Just uber
a couple of. MONTHS i don't want To, UBER i,
know you know you can't go out Of, fairport can't
break the.
Speaker 1: Show, NO i got another.
Speaker 3: Things BUT i would ride with you for a.
Speaker 4: DAY i don't know if you could do. THAT i
don't think you, can but that would be. Interesting this
is my blind Brother. BILL i gotta keep them with.
Me we would we would just drive down The gates
motel and we to get ubered and there you but.
Speaker 1: See that that stuff, too is like there's a part
of me That i'm very curious about. PEOPLE i always
wonder LIKE i wasn't interested in the, stripper but how
the stripper ended up? THERE i like. THIS i want to.
KNOW i think everybody has, story AND i think everybody
wants to be heard in. Life that was always one
of the THINGS i thought on the, radio was, LIKE
i know people want to be, heard so.
Speaker 4: Well that's what's a wonderful bob. TikTok you can take
a fifteen second video of, yourself upload it and if
you get a couple likes kind of. Popular, sure but.
Speaker 1: SURE i realized early, on like WHEN i was doing
overnights In poughkeepsie AND i would get these calls every
night from sometimes the same. People you realize people just
want to be heard they're very lonely and they're just
looking for. Connection you, know yesterday something came out about
only fans and the number one only fans threat to
marriages is this twenty two year old girl Named rain
who is a virgin and does not get New she
gets down to. Lingerie she does make, guys she makes
millions a. YEAR i, really IF i Hope i'm not.
EXAGGERATING i THOUGHT i saw twenty three, million but she
said a lot of it is guys just wanting to,
talk make a. Connection how was your? Day and it's married,
guys and you, go, man that's fucked. Up Denise richards
is like the number two. Threat she just got. Divorced
AND i thought to my son again, again BUT i,
go how, like if You're Denise richards and her husband's forty,
NINE i think she's fifty, six a little bit.
Speaker 3: Older she made all the.
Speaker 1: MONEY i think she was making two hundred and fifty
thousand a month off of. OnlyFans i don't know that
she's doing anything like extremely like you can have people
having sex on. THERE i don't think she, is BUT
i think she's doing that same connection. Thing it is
is emotional. Cheating the new lap dance in a way
you know where wives would.
Speaker 4: Go that's what that's one of the things about strip.
Clubs your husband is. Safe these girls are not going
home with. Them, no they've got a boyfriend at home
with a cocaine problem or three kids they got to go.
Speaker 1: Feed they just want to come and talk to a pretty. Girl,
Right but why is? That what are you not doing
on your end to keep?
Speaker 4: Fantasy, yeah it's fantasy somewhat, control you, know you, know
we'll have the lamp dance WHEN i, say and you,
know Especially i've seen some perverts in my time role
as a called and, uh just they want to try
to control the girl because they have no girl in their,
life no. Girlfriend nobody's gonna bang, them sleep with them
without cash. Advance so well, seriously, yeah so they can
talk to them and, uh they'll they'll like put the
character in front of the donkey kind of, thing, like you,
know hang with me for a, while then will go
get the lamp.
Speaker 1: Dance.
Speaker 4: Right you, know they're gonna spend their, money so you
got to put your time and, effort you, know for,
conversation make them feel kind of. Special, yeah it's.
Speaker 1: Weird and then someone probably got bad breath and stuff at,
least and only. Fans you don't have to smell, it, right, Serious,
yeah that's all you.
Speaker 4: WANT i told. YOU i looked at a documentary on.
That the girl that Played adirana and The, sopranos she, has,
yeah she. Has and every day she's trying to different,
outfits different, look different. Pictures and that's what they're all
trying to. Do at one, point they're all going to
be next to a washing machine with SuDS over their
top or. Something you. Know the guy from there was
a young star From. Disney he's doing it Really, yeah he's, Explicit,
yeah they said the Documentary Denise richards was. On there
a few others THAT i not. EXPLICIT i think a gold,
Medalist but, okay so what female gold?
Speaker 1: Medalist would it be hard for you to be in
a relationship with somebody who did only, fans not, explicit
but would HAVE i think almost becomes the emotional support,
animals so to, speak of the Other.
Speaker 4: The only THING i see with them in the same
way with women from strip. Clubs if you're talking all
day and you're you're you're involved in conversation with this,
guy and then this guy pages and this. Guy by
the time you're, done you don't want to talk to,
anybody and that keeps it tough having. Conversations the same
way with the, girls they've been being touched and found
out all. Day you, know they go home to their.
Man you, know he's ready for Saman she's, like oh,
NO I i just came from, that, right you. Know
so that was one of the big breakup points.
Speaker 1: Too oh you? Sure you? Know?
Speaker 3: YEAH i just think like a lot of, times if
you can.
Speaker 1: Not THAT i would know how to keep a relationship, alive,
certainly BUT i, yeah.
Speaker 4: A relationship for twenty one.
Speaker 1: Years, yeah, YEAH i think that a lot of. Times
you need, to uh listen, right let the other person
to get hurt last, month just, Listen, yeah just say. Anything,
Yeah i'm just spill, everything build. Out you don't have
to say a.
Speaker 4: Word takes care of, everything.
Speaker 1: And then you get to and then and also little
surprises and. Things you. Know absolutely these date, IDEAS i,
mean take some of those first date ideas and do
it with your, wife dry each other in a, park you,
know while doing shots of fireball could be really. FUNNY
i have to add alcohol to. Everything it just spices everything.
Speaker 3: Up that's All i'm. Saying it just DOES i have
one last question for.
Speaker 1: You go, ahead. Buddy if your resume were a, porno,
okay what'd be Called cocktails And carpool The Ride Chair,
DIARIES Dj Daddy's Dirty beats or DJ's Daddy's Dirty. Beats
which one would it?
Speaker 4: Be, wait there's two or?
Speaker 1: THREE i have Two cocktails And carpool The Ride Chair
diaries OR Dj Daddy's Dirty.
Speaker 4: BEATS i think at this point in my, LIFE i
gotta go with.
Speaker 1: THE Dj Dirty.
Speaker 4: Beats. YEAH i haven't had any dirtiness of the uber.
Speaker 1: Yet oh, okay very.
Speaker 4: Good and there's been a few women that. WELL i
told you the fruit roll up.
Speaker 1: Story what?
Speaker 4: HUH i told. You this was a couple of years.
AGO i picked up a lady in a. Round she
said she had sex in a. While i'm, like is
there anything especially you? Do and she goes. Yeah WHEN
i go down on, it, MAN i wrap this thing
up with a fruit roll. Up AND i was coming
here AND i remember it was. RAINING i know it
was In. RONEKOIN i remember. Her her her name was
a one letter syllable LIKE, abc one of those twenty
six letters that was her, name But i'm not gonna say,
it but, yeah that was kind of. Exciting And i'm,
like she goes AND i think something might could, happen
or she was out of fruit roll ups or, something
And i'm flirting And i'm, like you know, What and
this is What i've said the past few. Years i'm,
like if if our past cross, again then maybe it
was meant to. Be until, then every great day she, Goes,
Okay i'll see you, again. Baby i'm, LIKE i hope.
So AND i never saw her. Again. WOW i have
picked up a couple of women. Twice but the fruit roll?
Up fruit roll? Up how do you not want to?
Speaker 1: Try? That is a?
Speaker 4: Freak SEE ai doesn't come up with.
Speaker 1: It now we need PERVERTED. Ai. Perverted there you, go PERVERTED.
Ai that's what we.
Speaker 4: Need Bill, Gates Bill, Moran, YEAH i think Perverted. MICROSOFT
i like.
Speaker 1: IT i like. It, yeah micro.
Speaker 4: Freak we don't give you the chicken will give you the, feathers.
Speaker 1: Micro hard Not Microsoft, MICA i uh give me the chickens.
Feathers that's a great. IDEA i think you.
Speaker 4: Want to go buy fruit roll?
Speaker 1: Ups?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: Uh? YEAH i mean NORMALLY i wouldn't at, all be
honest with. You i've never had never a big fan
of fruit roll. Up you never. Know, Yeah i'm not
the one eating.
Speaker 4: It, yeah don't knock it till you're trying. It want
to cut them down a little. Bit maybe they just
wrap around two streets makes, it you?
Speaker 1: Know?
Speaker 4: Purple, yeah, strawberry it could be good.
Speaker 1: Cherry oh, well it's like like we were not fat.
ENOUGH i saw this. Today JUST i just have to
add this because we're talking about food and fruit. Ups
they're they're coming out with cinnamon, toast, crunch. Bacon that's
why the world do you understand if we don't have
the cure for, that but we're gonna add fucking bacon
because we're not fat? Enough, Right, sorry all, right well
we'll wrap it. Up she was so, Fat, yes how
fat was?
Speaker 4: She i'm under The macy's, Day. Praye she was wearing.
Speaker 1: Ropes she was a big.
Speaker 4: Girl when guys had sex with, her she got to ask.
Directions i'm talking.
Speaker 3: Fat, yeah, yeah you go. Down you have to bring
a doggy.
Speaker 4: BACK i tell, you got to bring a. Ladder she
wears high. Heels she strikes. Oil, OH i tell you it's.
Speaker 1: Tough For dougie fresh shoo every what's happening to my?
World but hopefully see.
Speaker 2: TOMORROW i woke up in the, hotel didn't know what to.
Do i'm turning A. Tv won't rule a letder to,
you stoking by
Speaker 1: The deadnet about the years