WEBVTT 1 00:00:07.639 --> 00:00:11.039 You are now listening to True Murder, The most shocking 2 00:00:11.160 --> 00:00:14.160 killers in true crime history and the authors that have 3 00:00:14.240 --> 00:00:21.519 written about them. Gaesy, Bundy Dahmer, The Nightstalker VTK Every 4 00:00:21.559 --> 00:00:25.280 week another fascinating author talking about the most shocking and 5 00:00:25.359 --> 00:00:29.559 infamous killers in true crime history. True Murder with your 6 00:00:29.559 --> 00:00:33.359 host journalist and author Dan Zufanski. 7 00:00:39.399 --> 00:00:43.960 Good Evening. How one father determined to reclaim his daughter's 8 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:50.640 memory brought down Alex Jones. On December fourteenth, twenty twelve, 9 00:00:51.439 --> 00:00:55.240 Robbie Parker's daughter Emily was killed at Sandy Hook Elementary, 10 00:00:56.399 --> 00:01:00.560 a tragedy that changed Robbie's life and the country forever. 11 00:01:01.960 --> 00:01:05.200 By the next day, Alex Jones was on air claiming 12 00:01:05.239 --> 00:01:09.799 the shooting was a hoax. So begins Parker's David and 13 00:01:09.879 --> 00:01:14.280 Goliath's story, a tale of hope and resilience amid hatred 14 00:01:14.439 --> 00:01:18.840 and division. While Robbie and his family spent the next 15 00:01:18.879 --> 00:01:24.280 decade attempting to grieve, Jones's fans harassed them, calling them 16 00:01:24.359 --> 00:01:30.879 crisis actors. The hatred pushed Robbie inward, disconnecting him from 17 00:01:30.920 --> 00:01:35.280 the world and his family. Four years after Sandy Hook, 18 00:01:35.840 --> 00:01:39.959 an Infra War's listener accosted Robbie three thousand miles away 19 00:01:39.959 --> 00:01:45.000 from Newtown, Connecticut, repeating the same lies Alex Jones had 20 00:01:45.040 --> 00:01:51.599 spread for years. Soon after seventeen students were murdered at 21 00:01:51.640 --> 00:01:57.239 Florida's Marjorie Stonemason Douglas High School, Robbie and his wife 22 00:01:57.280 --> 00:02:00.120 spoke with one of the victim's parents and learned when 23 00:02:00.159 --> 00:02:05.120 they were also being bombarded with hateful messages. He realized 24 00:02:05.159 --> 00:02:08.800 he could no longer avoid this terrifying reality, and with 25 00:02:08.919 --> 00:02:13.439 the help of Sandy hook parents, lawyers, and supporters, Robbie 26 00:02:13.479 --> 00:02:16.919 stood up to Alex Jones in court to heal and 27 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:22.039 reclaim his daughter's memory. A father's Fight is more than 28 00:02:22.039 --> 00:02:27.479 a memoir. It's a stirring portrait of an unbreakable human spirit. 29 00:02:28.599 --> 00:02:32.319 It's a testament to a father's love and perseverance in 30 00:02:32.400 --> 00:02:37.319 the face of insurmountable grief. The book that were featuring 31 00:02:37.400 --> 00:02:42.520 this evening is a father's fight, taking on Alex Jones 32 00:02:42.879 --> 00:02:47.439 and reclaiming the truth about Sandy Hook with my special 33 00:02:47.479 --> 00:02:53.680 guest author, Robbie Parker. Welcome to the program, and thank 34 00:02:53.719 --> 00:02:55.319 you very much for this interview. 35 00:02:55.800 --> 00:02:59.719 Robbie Parker, thank you Dan for reaching out and for 36 00:02:59.719 --> 00:03:01.039 having on. It's really a pleasure. 37 00:03:01.800 --> 00:03:05.280 Well, thank you so much, and congratulations on this extraordinary book. 38 00:03:05.319 --> 00:03:08.560 You say. It came out late last year. A Father's Fight. 39 00:03:09.719 --> 00:03:12.039 It came out late last year. It's obviously been a 40 00:03:12.039 --> 00:03:15.479 work in progress for a while, and that's just my 41 00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:18.599 own personal journey and then getting to the point where 42 00:03:18.639 --> 00:03:20.919 I felt like I actually wanted to share something I'd 43 00:03:20.960 --> 00:03:23.360 been writing for a long time just for my own 44 00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:27.439 healing and cathartic process and just trying to understand who 45 00:03:27.479 --> 00:03:30.719 I was through this brief process and what I was 46 00:03:30.960 --> 00:03:33.919 experiencing with the conspiracy theory people and all of that. 47 00:03:34.560 --> 00:03:37.280 Some very kind people were really encouraging for me to 48 00:03:37.800 --> 00:03:39.319 put it more out there and to share it, and 49 00:03:39.360 --> 00:03:42.719 so it finally made it into people's hands and yours, 50 00:03:42.719 --> 00:03:43.560 and so here we are. 51 00:03:44.879 --> 00:03:49.120 Yes, thank you. Let's talk about your family's move to 52 00:03:49.400 --> 00:03:53.680 a new town, Connecticut in twenty twelve, and just tell 53 00:03:53.759 --> 00:03:58.400 us about your family, Alissa, Emily, Madeline, and Samantha, and 54 00:03:59.000 --> 00:04:03.719 also about you write about. In spring twenty twelve, Alissa's 55 00:04:03.719 --> 00:04:07.319 father qualified for the Boston Marathon and he was also 56 00:04:07.400 --> 00:04:10.560 very helpful with remodeling your new home. So just tell 57 00:04:10.639 --> 00:04:14.479 us where you were at in twenty and twelve and 58 00:04:14.599 --> 00:04:19.600 your moved to Newtown, Connecticut and your professional life at 59 00:04:19.600 --> 00:04:21.800 that time, and also your wife. 60 00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:25.439 Yeah, no's that's a loaded question. There was a lot 61 00:04:25.519 --> 00:04:28.759 happening for our family in twenty twelve, even just even 62 00:04:28.879 --> 00:04:31.720 just briefly moving up towards that, like I mean a 63 00:04:31.800 --> 00:04:34.480 listen and I we don't ever really remember meeting each other. 64 00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:36.439 We know we met in middle school at some point, 65 00:04:36.879 --> 00:04:41.560 but we started dating like after high school. And so 66 00:04:42.319 --> 00:04:44.360 all this build up to twenty twelve was just this 67 00:04:44.839 --> 00:04:50.360 culmination of us going to school, working, putting ourselves through college, 68 00:04:50.639 --> 00:04:52.839 and starting a family at the same time. So it 69 00:04:52.879 --> 00:04:55.959 was just really really busy. In twenty ten, I had 70 00:04:56.000 --> 00:05:00.120 graduated as a physician assistant and my passion is in 71 00:05:00.199 --> 00:05:03.839 the newborn intensive care unit, and so we had taken 72 00:05:03.879 --> 00:05:06.680 a job in New Mexico right out of school, where 73 00:05:06.720 --> 00:05:09.920 I got some wonderful training, and then we took this 74 00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:13.959 job opportunity in Connecticut, which seemed really just bizarre and 75 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:16.879 out there for us because we grew up on the 76 00:05:16.920 --> 00:05:19.120 west side of the country. I grew up in Texas 77 00:05:19.199 --> 00:05:22.040 and Utah, Alyssa grew up in California and Utah, and 78 00:05:22.079 --> 00:05:24.879 I went to school in the Pacific Northwest, so it 79 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:28.160 was a brand new area. Our family was small, but 80 00:05:28.319 --> 00:05:31.600 we had like accomplished all of this stuff, right. This 81 00:05:31.759 --> 00:05:33.879 was like what all that hard work was for, was 82 00:05:34.360 --> 00:05:37.120 to be able to be done with school, launch into 83 00:05:37.160 --> 00:05:39.519 my career. I could support this young family of ours 84 00:05:39.560 --> 00:05:43.360 with our three young girls. Emily was turning six, matt 85 00:05:43.360 --> 00:05:46.279 Aline was four, Samantha was three, and it was just 86 00:05:46.360 --> 00:05:49.959 a really exciting time with a lot of new growth 87 00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:52.439 and a lot of new places and new people, and 88 00:05:52.480 --> 00:05:55.560 we were just happy to be there and lo and 89 00:05:55.560 --> 00:05:59.600 behold too. Like you mentioned Elissa's dad, Doug, he had 90 00:06:00.040 --> 00:06:02.199 qualified to run the Boston Marathon. So we moved to 91 00:06:02.240 --> 00:06:05.519 Connecticut end of December twenty eleven beginning of the new 92 00:06:05.560 --> 00:06:08.120 year twenty twelve, and then he came out in April, 93 00:06:08.160 --> 00:06:10.120 right after we had closed out on this new house 94 00:06:10.120 --> 00:06:12.839 that we had bought that needed a lot of updating 95 00:06:12.879 --> 00:06:15.560 and a lot of work. And he was really handy. 96 00:06:15.600 --> 00:06:17.800 He had helped us with some other projects on other 97 00:06:17.800 --> 00:06:21.319 houses that we had owned previously, and so he came 98 00:06:21.360 --> 00:06:23.360 out and was able to help us with some work. 99 00:06:23.639 --> 00:06:25.560 We were just a few hours away from Boston, so 100 00:06:25.600 --> 00:06:28.399 we could go and support him in the Boston Marathon. 101 00:06:28.839 --> 00:06:32.079 I'm a huge Texas Ranger baseball fan. The Rangers were 102 00:06:32.199 --> 00:06:35.040 in town that same week. So there's just a lot 103 00:06:35.079 --> 00:06:38.920 of fun things happening throughout that whole year, and that's 104 00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:42.319 kind of like what set us up. We were just 105 00:06:42.639 --> 00:06:44.959 finally living the life that we had worked so hard 106 00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:47.399 to live with the people we wanted to be with, 107 00:06:47.959 --> 00:06:51.000 and we had our nuclear family that we were ready 108 00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:54.000 to start kind of putting down roots and get to 109 00:06:54.120 --> 00:06:56.480 finally experience all this stuff that we had been working towards. 110 00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:02.160 You're right though, that the disaster arrives. Five months later, 111 00:07:02.600 --> 00:07:06.720 Alyssa's dad was involved in a horrible bicycling accident while 112 00:07:06.759 --> 00:07:08.839 in a race and passed away. 113 00:07:10.720 --> 00:07:13.959 Right, So they run the Boston Marathon in April, and 114 00:07:13.959 --> 00:07:17.480 then in September. The second weekend in September, every year, 115 00:07:17.480 --> 00:07:20.439 there's a bike race that starts in Logan, Utah, in 116 00:07:20.480 --> 00:07:22.839 northern Utah that goes all the way to Jackson, Howayoming. 117 00:07:22.920 --> 00:07:25.519 It's a one day, two hundred and ten mile race 118 00:07:25.560 --> 00:07:29.279 that goes up and over three different mountain divides. And 119 00:07:29.519 --> 00:07:31.439 this was going to be my father in law's tenth 120 00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:35.240 year doing that race, or eleventh year. Alyssa and I 121 00:07:35.319 --> 00:07:38.720 had participated driving cars and stuff for a few years. 122 00:07:38.720 --> 00:07:41.279 This is something that he loved doing and we loved 123 00:07:41.279 --> 00:07:43.360 supporting him with it, and we were actually really sad 124 00:07:43.360 --> 00:07:44.920 that we weren't going to be able to be there 125 00:07:44.920 --> 00:07:47.800 with him as he was going to accomplish this milestone again. 126 00:07:48.519 --> 00:07:52.040 Shortly they it cressed over the first pass and he 127 00:07:52.199 --> 00:07:56.800 was coming down, probably going somewhere between thirty five and 128 00:07:56.839 --> 00:07:59.079 forty miles an hour, and somebody came alongside of him 129 00:07:59.079 --> 00:08:03.759 and accident just clipped handlebars and he he hit his 130 00:08:03.800 --> 00:08:07.120 head really hard. He had a pretty traumatic brain injury. 131 00:08:07.639 --> 00:08:09.600 He didn't have a big, large brain bleed, but he 132 00:08:09.639 --> 00:08:12.560 was suffering from a traumatic brain injury, and it really 133 00:08:12.600 --> 00:08:14.600 just shook us up. We were on the other side 134 00:08:14.600 --> 00:08:16.920 of the country at this point, and we spent the 135 00:08:16.959 --> 00:08:19.399 whole next month flying back and forth from Connecticut to 136 00:08:19.480 --> 00:08:24.519 Utah to support and be there. And when he got 137 00:08:24.519 --> 00:08:27.560 discharged from the hospital, he was sent to this kind 138 00:08:27.560 --> 00:08:30.879 of nursing and rehab center. They weren't equipped to handle 139 00:08:30.920 --> 00:08:33.480 somebody in his case. He was supposed to go to 140 00:08:33.519 --> 00:08:36.120 the VA, but they didn't have rooms, so there's this 141 00:08:36.120 --> 00:08:39.159 little mix up. He was just confused and he needed 142 00:08:39.159 --> 00:08:41.399 somebody with him at night, and this place couldn't do that. 143 00:08:41.639 --> 00:08:44.519 So with my medical training and I had been a 144 00:08:44.639 --> 00:08:47.120 nurse assistant early on in my career and stuff, and 145 00:08:47.200 --> 00:08:50.919 so I actually flew out and was going to take 146 00:08:51.000 --> 00:08:53.759 night shifts and be with him. One of the knights 147 00:08:53.759 --> 00:08:55.600 that I was there, he was trying to get out 148 00:08:55.639 --> 00:08:58.720 of bed. I went to get the bedside commode for him, 149 00:08:59.519 --> 00:09:02.080 and then this two second time period where I just 150 00:09:02.120 --> 00:09:04.080 had my back turn on for a second, he stood 151 00:09:04.120 --> 00:09:06.519 up and I wasn't expecting him to be able to 152 00:09:06.559 --> 00:09:09.000 do that. He stood up and he lost his balance 153 00:09:09.240 --> 00:09:12.080 and I lunged for him and he fell right through 154 00:09:12.080 --> 00:09:15.279 my hands. He ended up hitting his head on the 155 00:09:15.279 --> 00:09:21.039 ground again, and from that experience with a fresh traumatic 156 00:09:21.039 --> 00:09:23.039 brain injury that he was already suffering from and then 157 00:09:23.080 --> 00:09:26.080 having another head injury, he ended up developing a massive 158 00:09:26.080 --> 00:09:27.960 brain bleed and then he passed away just a few 159 00:09:28.039 --> 00:09:35.720 days later. And so this idea of tragedy and heartbreak 160 00:09:35.840 --> 00:09:39.559 and grief and death came to us first through Alissa's 161 00:09:39.639 --> 00:09:44.240 dad in September, and he died on September twenty ninth. 162 00:09:44.919 --> 00:09:48.240 That was a blow because he obviously what he meant 163 00:09:48.279 --> 00:09:51.120 to all of us, he was the father figure for 164 00:09:51.200 --> 00:09:56.080 me in my life. I had never felt so personally, 165 00:09:56.279 --> 00:10:00.000 just so accepted by somebody, especially like a father figure 166 00:10:00.240 --> 00:10:03.360 like that, accepted and loved the way that he brought 167 00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:08.679 me into his family, And so was that was hard 168 00:10:08.200 --> 00:10:12.000 to go through and experience. And then again being away 169 00:10:12.039 --> 00:10:15.639 from family as we were processing all of that, that 170 00:10:15.799 --> 00:10:22.120 was Yeah, my words are lost describing how that felt 171 00:10:22.440 --> 00:10:23.399 alone by itself. 172 00:10:24.000 --> 00:10:29.399 Yes, And and what was interesting or interesting later in 173 00:10:29.480 --> 00:10:33.360 retrospect was that the information that was in an article 174 00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:38.120 in a newspaper provided a lot of misinformation. So later 175 00:10:38.279 --> 00:10:42.720 when it was important to consider what would be in 176 00:10:42.759 --> 00:10:49.879 a newspaper article, that misinformation became important. Let's talk about 177 00:10:50.279 --> 00:10:55.480 Emily and her sister's relationship. But just the character of 178 00:10:55.519 --> 00:10:59.559 this six year old, this precocious Emily. You talked about 179 00:10:59.600 --> 00:11:05.600 this in that run up to Christmas, she had been 180 00:11:05.639 --> 00:11:10.120 inspired to get a family toy box together. Just tell 181 00:11:10.200 --> 00:11:13.840 us about this little initiative that indicates sort of the 182 00:11:13.960 --> 00:11:15.200 character of Emily. 183 00:11:16.320 --> 00:11:18.799 Right, No, it's a yeah, that's a great question because 184 00:11:18.799 --> 00:11:21.039 it highlights so much of who she was, even as 185 00:11:21.080 --> 00:11:25.159 this very talkative, very bidable, pleasant six year old girl, 186 00:11:25.600 --> 00:11:28.559 constantly thinking of other people. And it was Christmas time 187 00:11:28.600 --> 00:11:30.679 there was like these Christmas shows on. She got inspired 188 00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:34.440 to start like a toy drive, and there was this 189 00:11:35.039 --> 00:11:38.200 during our remodel process, we went to this like thrift 190 00:11:38.200 --> 00:11:39.759 store a lot just to kind of pick up things 191 00:11:40.000 --> 00:11:42.399 that we could refurbish and different stuff like that, and 192 00:11:42.440 --> 00:11:45.200 she loved this store, and so she wanted to do 193 00:11:45.240 --> 00:11:47.320 this toy drive so we could donate it to this 194 00:11:47.399 --> 00:11:49.320 store so that she knew that other kids could get it, 195 00:11:49.360 --> 00:11:53.759 and she wanted to incorporate her sisters in the project, 196 00:11:54.399 --> 00:11:57.159 and that in and of itself is a just show so 197 00:11:57.240 --> 00:12:00.639 much of who she was. Her sisters didn't really loved 198 00:12:00.639 --> 00:12:03.519 the idea of giving some of their toys away or 199 00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:06.600 participating that very much with it, And so to watch 200 00:12:06.600 --> 00:12:10.480 her use her negotiation skills and talk to them, even 201 00:12:10.519 --> 00:12:13.720 willing to bribe one of them with her own money 202 00:12:14.120 --> 00:12:16.600 at one point, turned out to be a huge success. 203 00:12:16.720 --> 00:12:19.559 And the box that she got and put together was 204 00:12:19.679 --> 00:12:22.799 filled to the brim and for like a special bow, 205 00:12:23.000 --> 00:12:25.679 she even put in some of her own artwork. Emily 206 00:12:25.799 --> 00:12:29.879 was a like a ferocious artist. She would go through 207 00:12:29.919 --> 00:12:32.799 stacks and stacks of papers and projects and stuff that 208 00:12:32.840 --> 00:12:33.440 she would work on. 209 00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:34.039 And she. 210 00:12:35.559 --> 00:12:40.720 Knew that giving something of herself in this made it special. 211 00:12:41.039 --> 00:12:44.080 And that's just how she viewed people. That's how she 212 00:12:44.200 --> 00:12:45.919 viewed the ones that she loved and people that she 213 00:12:45.960 --> 00:12:48.600 didn't know. And that's just what exuded from her. 214 00:12:51.080 --> 00:12:54.279 Now, what just to give us the situation where this 215 00:12:54.600 --> 00:12:58.840 Sandy Hook Elementary where that Emily attended. You talk about 216 00:12:59.000 --> 00:13:01.960 sandy Hook being a village, So is that tell us 217 00:13:02.039 --> 00:13:05.919 the just a situation where Sandy Hook is a small 218 00:13:06.000 --> 00:13:08.799 village within Newtown? 219 00:13:09.080 --> 00:13:10.759 Right? Yeah. It was kind of bizarre to us when 220 00:13:10.799 --> 00:13:13.919 we moved out there because we were in an incorporated 221 00:13:13.960 --> 00:13:17.679 town of Newtown, but this little car about part of 222 00:13:17.759 --> 00:13:21.440 Newtown and Sandy Hook, and I don't I never really 223 00:13:21.679 --> 00:13:24.559 learned the full history of how how that happened. And 224 00:13:24.639 --> 00:13:28.639 I'm just assuming just before there were incorporated towns, you know, 225 00:13:28.799 --> 00:13:31.480 this is this area with Sandy Hook and so, but 226 00:13:31.519 --> 00:13:34.879 it was so quaint and so just you know what 227 00:13:34.919 --> 00:13:39.679 you think about when you think of colonial Northeast United 228 00:13:39.720 --> 00:13:42.600 States era, It was a place that felt like it 229 00:13:42.639 --> 00:13:46.240 was back in time. The geography and the houses and 230 00:13:46.279 --> 00:13:49.039 the roads, and the and the stone walls and the lush, 231 00:13:49.120 --> 00:13:53.200 lush trees like it was just I mean, it was 232 00:13:53.679 --> 00:13:55.679 a postcard, It was a it was a it was 233 00:13:55.720 --> 00:13:58.960 a storybook place to live. So it was a place 234 00:13:59.000 --> 00:14:01.240 that still felt I mean, we had been moving all 235 00:14:01.240 --> 00:14:03.919 across the country from my schooling and different jobs and stuff, 236 00:14:03.919 --> 00:14:06.159 and this was a place that finally you felt like 237 00:14:06.679 --> 00:14:09.840 your neighbors had your back. And even though we were 238 00:14:09.840 --> 00:14:12.320 new to the town and trying to establish things, we 239 00:14:12.320 --> 00:14:14.200 hadn't really got to know a lot of people. Yet 240 00:14:14.679 --> 00:14:18.519 it felt very homelike right away for us, and we 241 00:14:18.519 --> 00:14:22.919 were starting to incorporate ourselves into this beautiful tapestry of 242 00:14:22.919 --> 00:14:25.320 what Newtown and Sandy Hooker like. 243 00:14:27.600 --> 00:14:32.960 You take us to December fourteenth, twenty twelve, and you 244 00:14:33.200 --> 00:14:39.159 are working and you get a disturbing voicemail that morning 245 00:14:39.960 --> 00:14:46.559 from Pat Laudra, Newtown first Selectman, calling you to inform 246 00:14:46.639 --> 00:14:51.000 that all Newtown public schools have been placed in lockdown 247 00:14:51.080 --> 00:14:57.120 do to a we reported shooting at one of our schools. Now, 248 00:14:57.120 --> 00:15:00.240 what do you do as a result? You call a us. 249 00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:03.960 What's the conversation, like, what do you know? What do 250 00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:07.240 you find out from that voicemail, tell us what happens 251 00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:10.120 after that voicemail is received by you. 252 00:15:11.559 --> 00:15:13.720 Yeah. Sure, I'll even take you back to just even 253 00:15:13.759 --> 00:15:18.080 that morning because that Friday was the Friday for the box. 254 00:15:19.039 --> 00:15:21.200 So waking up in the house that morning, there was 255 00:15:21.240 --> 00:15:23.960 just a ton of excitement because that was going to 256 00:15:24.039 --> 00:15:26.480 kick off the Christmas break. I was going to be 257 00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:29.440 working a twenty four hour shift, so I wasn't going 258 00:15:29.480 --> 00:15:31.039 to be able to participate in this. But the plan 259 00:15:31.320 --> 00:15:34.399 was that for school that day, the girls were going 260 00:15:34.440 --> 00:15:35.799 to take the box. They were going to take it 261 00:15:35.799 --> 00:15:39.840 to the donation center. They were going to start doing 262 00:15:39.879 --> 00:15:42.639 all of our start our Christmas traditions and stuff like that. 263 00:15:42.840 --> 00:15:46.120 So there was just in our house that morning, just 264 00:15:46.360 --> 00:15:49.080 a lot of excitement and a lot of love. As 265 00:15:49.639 --> 00:15:52.519 I was getting ready to leave, and everybody was in 266 00:15:52.559 --> 00:15:56.519 Samantha's room, my youngest, because she was the last person 267 00:15:56.559 --> 00:16:00.399 to donate things, so that's where the box was. Everybody 268 00:16:00.440 --> 00:16:02.720 was in there, just excited, and that's where I went 269 00:16:02.759 --> 00:16:05.440 and gave everybody hugs and kisses and was saying goodbye 270 00:16:05.480 --> 00:16:07.720 to them and noticed the box off to the corner, 271 00:16:08.600 --> 00:16:11.159 just kind of pushed up against the wall underneath the 272 00:16:11.159 --> 00:16:13.519 window seals. So that was the feeling that I had 273 00:16:13.600 --> 00:16:15.840 leaving the house this morning. That morning, as I was 274 00:16:15.879 --> 00:16:19.480 starting to go to work, going through my normal work stuff, 275 00:16:19.679 --> 00:16:22.559 rounding on patients, getting ready to do our rounds, talking 276 00:16:22.600 --> 00:16:25.919 to parents who had babies in the nick you and 277 00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:28.519 I get that voicemail that you're talking about because we 278 00:16:28.559 --> 00:16:32.320 had just started rounds, and so I dismissed the phone call. 279 00:16:32.879 --> 00:16:36.679 Then in between patients listening to that, and then Alyssa's 280 00:16:36.679 --> 00:16:40.080 phone call coming to me directly, and she's nervous and 281 00:16:40.120 --> 00:16:46.679 she's scared, And unfortunately I met Alyssa in that moment 282 00:16:46.759 --> 00:16:49.639 in like my work brain. You know, working in the 283 00:16:49.720 --> 00:16:52.240 NICKU has a lot of challenges. It can be very 284 00:16:52.320 --> 00:16:56.799 high stress. A big part of my job is remaining 285 00:16:58.559 --> 00:17:04.920 hopeful and calm and handling stressful situations as you would 286 00:17:04.920 --> 00:17:08.480 with patients, in these situations that I find myself in. 287 00:17:09.240 --> 00:17:11.240 And I mean I mentioned this and I talk about 288 00:17:11.240 --> 00:17:16.240 it because I just I didn't meet alissas as like 289 00:17:16.279 --> 00:17:19.400 a loving husband right then. I met her with kind 290 00:17:19.400 --> 00:17:22.839 of like my work brain and trying to convince her, 291 00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:26.279 but not convince her, but just let's just be calm, 292 00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:28.599 let's be patient, let's think about this, let's not jump 293 00:17:28.680 --> 00:17:32.839 to conclusions, you know. And she was scared, and she 294 00:17:33.880 --> 00:17:35.319 was kind of able to snap me out of my 295 00:17:35.359 --> 00:17:38.680 work brain. And when she was like, because I was like, 296 00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:41.400 these shootings don't happen at an elementary school. It's got 297 00:17:41.440 --> 00:17:43.720 to be at the high school. You know, we don't 298 00:17:43.759 --> 00:17:46.440 know what's going on. Don't drive to the school, whatever 299 00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:49.759 you do like that kind of stuff, she just kind 300 00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:53.880 of was done hearing me talk for a little bit 301 00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:56.319 like that, and she just said, Robbie, if it was 302 00:17:56.319 --> 00:18:00.640 at the elementary school, Emily's room is in that front hallway. 303 00:18:00.839 --> 00:18:02.799 If it was there, she would be in real danger. 304 00:18:03.599 --> 00:18:05.200 I need to know and I need to do something. 305 00:18:06.319 --> 00:18:09.759 And so that's kind of how our process started. And 306 00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:15.440 so she was with Samantha doing some Christmas shopping. She 307 00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:17.559 had dropped Madaline off at preschool. I was at work, 308 00:18:18.279 --> 00:18:21.640 So we just started trying to find out information and communicate, 309 00:18:21.799 --> 00:18:25.559 and very quickly Alysa ended up going and getting Maddline 310 00:18:25.559 --> 00:18:29.839 from preschool. She went to the elementary school, and I 311 00:18:29.960 --> 00:18:32.720 unfortunately was stuck at the hospital because the hospital had 312 00:18:32.759 --> 00:18:36.119 gone into lockdown for as they do for a community disaster, 313 00:18:36.599 --> 00:18:40.000 so nobody's allowed in or out. As reports were starting 314 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:42.279 to kind of come through, and we did learn that 315 00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:45.079 there were children that were wounded and taken to the hospital. 316 00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:49.599 I stayed for a little longer to see if what 317 00:18:49.599 --> 00:18:52.160 I could find out because at that point Alyssa hadn't 318 00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:55.400 been reunited with Emily and had Emily been hurt and 319 00:18:55.400 --> 00:18:58.039 taken in the hospital, and I was where she needed 320 00:18:58.039 --> 00:18:59.759 to be. So this is just kind of where our 321 00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:04.119 mind's that's where. And as the minutes passed and as 322 00:19:04.160 --> 00:19:07.279 the hours passed. During this time, just the stress and 323 00:19:07.319 --> 00:19:10.440 the tension of not knowing was just building and building 324 00:19:10.480 --> 00:19:14.039 and building, and there wasn't anything you could do except 325 00:19:14.039 --> 00:19:16.319 for just wait and wait and wait. 326 00:19:19.039 --> 00:19:22.759 You're right that there's a conference room set up and 327 00:19:22.839 --> 00:19:25.720 for people waiting, and you say, waiting and waiting for 328 00:19:25.759 --> 00:19:29.759 an update from state police. But it is confirmed that 329 00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:34.839 twenty children had been killed. So there was no more details, 330 00:19:34.839 --> 00:19:38.759 no more names. So everyone is sitting around a bunch 331 00:19:38.839 --> 00:19:42.599 of different people, first responders and then people that are 332 00:19:42.640 --> 00:19:46.400 inquiring about their children. But people are waiting there for 333 00:19:46.559 --> 00:19:51.720 hours with no updates. Tell us about that wait for 334 00:19:51.880 --> 00:19:52.960 information exactly. 335 00:19:53.279 --> 00:19:56.000 Yeah, Yeah, So like, eventually I was able to leave 336 00:19:56.039 --> 00:20:00.599 the hospital and I made it to the the schools 337 00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:03.039 located down the street from the school, on the corner 338 00:20:03.160 --> 00:20:06.400 was this firehouse, and in the firehouse was this conference room. 339 00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:10.960 So they started. I can't even describe the scene there. 340 00:20:11.000 --> 00:20:15.000 It was so chaotic and none of that made sense, right, 341 00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:17.079 I mean, nothing about this, it's logical, nothing about this 342 00:20:17.119 --> 00:20:19.960 as something that you'd ever encountered before. I didn't even 343 00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:22.480 notice that there was TV cameras and crews and this 344 00:20:22.519 --> 00:20:25.480 podium of microphone set up. And when you think about it, 345 00:20:25.759 --> 00:20:28.559 when you do look into what happened in the school 346 00:20:28.759 --> 00:20:33.319 and the shooting, the first victims were the principal and 347 00:20:33.400 --> 00:20:36.720 some of the leaders of the school. So immediately the 348 00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:40.359 whole the chain of command was taken out. And so 349 00:20:41.839 --> 00:20:43.279 it makes so much sense why there it was so 350 00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:47.359 much chaos. There wasn't somebody in charge and leading from 351 00:20:47.400 --> 00:20:50.759 the very first moments of that whole ordeal. And so 352 00:20:51.559 --> 00:20:54.079 it had been hours and finally they decided, if you 353 00:20:54.119 --> 00:20:57.119 still hadn't encountered your child, you still haven't been reunited, 354 00:20:57.160 --> 00:20:58.880 then we're going to put bringing you over to this 355 00:20:58.920 --> 00:21:02.759 conference room. And that's where do unification processes, and that's 356 00:21:02.799 --> 00:21:06.200 kind of what we were told. So Alissa was in there. 357 00:21:06.279 --> 00:21:08.599 I finally make it into that room, and when I 358 00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:11.359 walked into the room, emotionally, it was like just running 359 00:21:11.359 --> 00:21:14.640 into a brick wall. I mean it was it was hot, 360 00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:20.000 and there it was thick. And Alissa sees me, and 361 00:21:20.039 --> 00:21:23.279 I go over to her, and you could just I 362 00:21:23.279 --> 00:21:28.119 could just feel her her angst and her worry and 363 00:21:28.160 --> 00:21:31.920 her love and her concern just pouring out of her. 364 00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:34.400 And she had been holding all that in so much. 365 00:21:34.440 --> 00:21:37.359 She had been watching the girls. Luckily, she had found 366 00:21:37.599 --> 00:21:40.319 a neighbor to take the girls home that lived next 367 00:21:40.319 --> 00:21:44.400 to us. And that was the feeling in the room. 368 00:21:44.640 --> 00:21:47.440 Everybody now knew right before I got there is what 369 00:21:47.480 --> 00:21:50.400 you talked about. A state police spokesperson came in and 370 00:21:50.440 --> 00:21:52.599 said that they were able to confirm that twenty children 371 00:21:52.599 --> 00:21:55.079 had died, but they weren't going to release any more 372 00:21:55.119 --> 00:21:57.559 information or details because they hadnt accounted for all the 373 00:21:57.640 --> 00:22:00.200 children in the school yet, and that he would be 374 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:04.359 back in an hour with another update, and then he 375 00:22:04.480 --> 00:22:08.279 just left it like that, like the absolute worst cliffhanger ever. 376 00:22:08.559 --> 00:22:12.480 And so we don't know if our child is one 377 00:22:12.519 --> 00:22:14.680 of the twenty that are dead, or one of the 378 00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:17.519 children that hadn't been accounted for that could be hiding somewhere. 379 00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:23.079 And so this idea of hope, and I had never 380 00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:27.039 thought in my entire life before of the emotion and 381 00:22:27.079 --> 00:22:31.000 the idea of hope being a dangerous thing, started away 382 00:22:31.039 --> 00:22:34.000 heavy on us. And again as the minutes ticked away, 383 00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:36.880 and they would come back in an hour and say, 384 00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:39.640 we have nothing to update you on. We'll be back 385 00:22:39.680 --> 00:22:42.319 in an hour, and they do that a number of times. 386 00:22:43.240 --> 00:22:47.640 It that tension and that thickness just it's really hard 387 00:22:47.680 --> 00:22:50.599 to know what to do with that. 388 00:22:50.759 --> 00:22:54.359 Jesus has an opportunity to stop to hear these messages. 389 00:22:55.640 --> 00:22:56.519 Now to you. 390 00:22:57.079 --> 00:23:00.599 It's a very vivid scene in this book. Governor Danel 391 00:23:00.880 --> 00:23:05.799 molloy enters the conference room. You write that it's packed 392 00:23:05.839 --> 00:23:09.559 with first responders, social workers and clergy and lots of nuns, 393 00:23:11.160 --> 00:23:18.039 and somebody, a mother interrupts his speech and says, so 394 00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:20.240 are you trying to tell us that all of our 395 00:23:20.359 --> 00:23:25.599 kids are dead? And the governor is stunned, but he 396 00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:29.799 says yes. And then your wife Melissa spoke up, what 397 00:23:29.880 --> 00:23:32.200 about the children that went to the hospital, what is 398 00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:35.759 their status? And what did he have to say? What 399 00:23:35.960 --> 00:23:36.920 was his response? 400 00:23:37.880 --> 00:23:42.039 Yeah, I've spent a lot of time processing Governor Malloy's response. 401 00:23:42.039 --> 00:23:45.000