1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: Tell me what you LOVET was like before you died. 2 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 2: I had given a speech that night at a Cutco 3 00:00:10,359 --> 00:00:11,080 sales conference. 4 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: That was my career. I was in Cutco and a 5 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:14,039 year and a half. 6 00:00:14,119 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 2: Cutco makes high quality kitchen knives, so they've been around 7 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,600 for fifty sixty years now, probably I think it was 8 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:20,440 the fiftieth anniversary. 9 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,039 Speaker 1: Was the year that I started. And so I gave 10 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:22,559 a speech at the. 11 00:00:22,519 --> 00:00:25,079 Speaker 2: Conference, and then I was driving home and my car 12 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,039 was at head on by a drunk driver at seventy 13 00:00:27,039 --> 00:00:29,640 miles an hour, and then I actually the worst, you know, 14 00:00:29,679 --> 00:00:30,719 airbags exploded. 15 00:00:30,719 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 1: The worst was actually. 16 00:00:31,679 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 2: I spun off the drunk driver and the car behind 17 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,799 me broadsided me. T bone me at seventy miles an 18 00:00:36,799 --> 00:00:39,560 hour in my door and the entire on my door, 19 00:00:39,679 --> 00:00:42,159 and so it crushed the left side of my body 20 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,679 and I broke eleven bones. My leg my femur, the 21 00:00:44,719 --> 00:00:47,960 biggest bone in human body, broken half. My pelvis broke 22 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,320 in three places, it was crossed between the center console. 23 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,240 Speaker 1: My arm broke in half. This one, my humorous bone 24 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:53,799 broke in two. 25 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 2: Pieces, shattered, my elbow severed, my radial nerve, shattered, the 26 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,840 three bones in my eye socket. My ear was almost 27 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:02,479 completely severed. The ceiling buckled and the metal came through 28 00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,439 the roof and it sliced a big like a V 29 00:01:04,599 --> 00:01:05,920 in the top of my head. So and I was 30 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,040 immediately I mean, I would imagine I was in a coma. 31 00:01:08,159 --> 00:01:09,400 So when they found me, I was in a coma, 32 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,040 I'd imagine, it's like they exact. 33 00:01:11,079 --> 00:01:13,359 Speaker 1: I've done a little bit of research, like the body 34 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:14,359 will shut. 35 00:01:14,159 --> 00:01:16,120 Speaker 2: Itself down and put you in a coma if you 36 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,040 can't withstand the amount of pain you know that you're experiencing. 37 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, thank god, thank god. I wasn't awake. I can't 38 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,319 even imagine that. I don't remember. 39 00:01:23,359 --> 00:01:25,400 Speaker 2: So there's two weeks of my life that I don't remember. 40 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,519 I don't remember, Like my last memory is getting on 41 00:01:28,519 --> 00:01:31,120 the freeway that night and the accident happened. I don't 42 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:33,359 remember the accident, don't remember the headlights coming at me, 43 00:01:33,519 --> 00:01:35,599 none of that. And then my first memory, I was 44 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,840 in a coma for so my heart stopped for six minutes, 45 00:01:38,879 --> 00:01:41,000 so it was clinically dead for six minutes. 46 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,280 Speaker 1: And I didn't die until they pulled me out of 47 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:43,560 the car. 48 00:01:43,599 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 2: Like the car was keeping me alive all the pressure, 49 00:01:46,359 --> 00:01:48,480 but I was losing blood though, you know through all 50 00:01:48,519 --> 00:01:50,280 these I mean just holes in my leg, my arm, 51 00:01:50,799 --> 00:01:54,159 and h and when I when they pulled me out, 52 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,560 it took them an hour to cut the roof off 53 00:01:56,599 --> 00:01:59,480 the car and pull the door back to get me out. 54 00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:00,879 Speaker 1: The jaws of life they had to use. 55 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 2: And when they finally did, I bled to death and 56 00:02:03,879 --> 00:02:06,239 my heart was They said about six minutes that I 57 00:02:06,239 --> 00:02:09,039 didn't have a heartbeat, and they immediately were pumping blood. 58 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,360 I was put on a helicopter and they are using 59 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,240 the fibrillators and all the things to get me back 60 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,680 to life. And thank god they didn't give up after 61 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:18,319 five minutes, because six minutes later they got my heart 62 00:02:18,319 --> 00:02:18,879 beating again. 63 00:02:19,159 --> 00:02:20,599 Speaker 1: And I spent six days in a coma. 64 00:02:21,039 --> 00:02:23,080 Speaker 2: I flat lined twice more so I was I was, 65 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:26,479 you know, nearly died multiple times. And when I came 66 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:29,199 out of the coma, I faced this unimaginable reality like, 67 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:30,840 you know, wait, where am I What's going on? And 68 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:34,159 they're like, how you broke eleven bones, You're probably never 69 00:02:34,199 --> 00:02:37,680 going to walk again, you have permanent brain damage. And 70 00:02:37,879 --> 00:02:41,400 this was this unimaginable reality that nobody thinks, you know, 71 00:02:41,439 --> 00:02:44,000 they're ever going to have to face for me. I 72 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:46,120 tried to make it applicable for all of us. That's 73 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:49,000 just how I think at that time. I started thinking, 74 00:02:49,159 --> 00:02:51,680 how does this experience, how is this going to serve me? 75 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,960 And how's it going to serve other people? That was 76 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,479 the question in my mind. And I told my dad, 77 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,280 I said, dad, because he actually the doctor thought I 78 00:02:59,319 --> 00:03:01,479 was in denial. I was so happy and positive, like 79 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:02,840 I'm in the hospital being told I'm never going to 80 00:03:02,879 --> 00:03:05,599 walk again, and I'm totally happy, totally positive, genuinely and 81 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:07,599 like and I'm making jokes and making the doctors laugh. 82 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:09,240 And they called my parents in one day and they said, 83 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,879 we're concerned with your son. We believe Hall is not 84 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:15,639 facing reality and he's just delusional and in denial, and 85 00:03:15,719 --> 00:03:17,639 we need you to talk to him. And so this 86 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,560 is one week after the crash that that this conversation. 87 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,240 My dad comes in, he goes, hey, I just talked 88 00:03:22,319 --> 00:03:24,400 met with the doctors. They're a little bit concerned with 89 00:03:24,439 --> 00:03:27,360 how you're responding to the accident. And and you know, 90 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,840 they said you should be sad, scared, angry, and depressed, 91 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,800 but you're not showing any of that, and they think 92 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,800 you're in denial. Yeah, and how are you really feeling? 93 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,560 How when the lights go out at night, when there's 94 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:43,120 no friends visiting and you guys are joking and laughing. 95 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,759 Speaker 1: And he said, are you sad? Scared, angry or depressed? 96 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 2: And I really, you know, I'm looking at my dad 97 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,919 by the way, and he's like, you know, eyes are read, 98 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,919 he's holding he was probably just crying or he's trying 99 00:03:51,919 --> 00:03:54,080 not to cry. I mean, yeah, And it had been 100 00:03:54,159 --> 00:03:55,960 it had been a week of just right of him, 101 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:57,960 of them by my bedside, not knowing if I was 102 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,520 going to live or die. Where Oh he's flat he's 103 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,120 flatlining again. Doctors come in, come in, he's flatlining again? 104 00:04:02,199 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: Right? 105 00:04:02,599 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 2: So yeah, my poor parents, Oh my god. And I 106 00:04:05,159 --> 00:04:06,919 was the second child that they would have lost. My 107 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,400 sister died when my mom was when I was eight 108 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,240 years old, my eighteen month old baby sister. On a 109 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:15,439 Saturday morning, I woke up to my mother's screaming, my baby, 110 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,279 my baby, God, don't take my baby. And it was 111 00:04:18,319 --> 00:04:20,240 just me, my mom and my baby sister at home. 112 00:04:20,319 --> 00:04:22,480 My other sister was gone, my dad was at work, 113 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,279 and I ran across the hall and my mom was 114 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,120 my little eighteen month old baby sister. My mom's pushing 115 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,319 on her chest and breathing into her mouth and performing 116 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,399 mouth to mouth, performing CPR on her, and she died 117 00:04:33,399 --> 00:04:36,240 that morning. And within six months, my mother was leading 118 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:38,680 a support group for other parents who had lost children. 119 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,279 So like, at eight years old, that seed was planned that, Oh, 120 00:04:41,399 --> 00:04:44,879 you take your adversity and you use it to help 121 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:45,439 other people. 122 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,839 Speaker 1: You take your pain and you find purpose. 123 00:04:47,879 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 2: So when I came out of the coma, that was 124 00:04:49,639 --> 00:04:52,199 like immediately implanted in me. And when my dad came 125 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,199 in that day and he said, the doctors are concerned. 126 00:04:54,199 --> 00:04:58,399 How I said, Dad, I'm not depressed, I'm not sad. 127 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:01,199 I'm a little I'm a little scared of that I 128 00:05:01,199 --> 00:05:04,480 don't walk again. But I've already decided, Dad, I've already 129 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,480 literally imagined if I never walk again, I've decided I'll 130 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,240 be the happiest, most grateful person that you've ever seen 131 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:12,959 in a wheelchair, because that becomes my reality. 132 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:13,959 Speaker 1: And I will not let my. 133 00:05:14,079 --> 00:05:17,759 Speaker 2: Unchangeable reality determine my mental and emotional well being. Like, 134 00:05:17,759 --> 00:05:19,680 if I can't change it, I'm going to be at 135 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,839 peace with it. I'm going to find the gratitude and 136 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:25,920 the love and the joy and the experience and my 137 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,120 dad and and the last thing I said, my dad, Dad. 138 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,839 I've ever since I started selling Cutco I've been speaking 139 00:05:30,879 --> 00:05:33,439 at all of these Cutco events. I've had this dream of, 140 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,360 you know, being like a motivational speaker, like a Tony 141 00:05:35,399 --> 00:05:36,199 Robbins or something. 142 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:36,839 Speaker 1: I said. 143 00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:40,160 Speaker 2: But I've had a relatively easy lie, like a normal life. Yeah, 144 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,040 I was bullied and you know, but I've never had 145 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,720 anything like remarkable happen that I had to overcome. I'm 146 00:05:44,759 --> 00:05:48,000 actually taking that as that's why I'm going through this. 147 00:05:48,519 --> 00:05:51,920 I'm supposed to get through this accident in the most positive. 148 00:05:51,759 --> 00:05:52,560 Speaker 1: Proactive way. 149 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,759 Speaker 2: I'm supposed to learn and grow from it so I 150 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,279 can go share it with other people and teach other people. 151 00:05:57,439 --> 00:05:58,720 And he went back to the doctors, and I think 152 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,519 they thought I was even more delusional. Well, when he 153 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,680 reported back, like, oh man, your son's really out there, 154 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:03,319 they said I'd. 155 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,519 Speaker 1: Been there for a year and I'd never walk again. 156 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:09,319 Speaker 2: I took my first step three weeks after the crash. 157 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,079 We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor, 158 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:19,759 and now back to the show. So one week after 159 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,920 the doctors told me, I called my parents in and said, hey, 160 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,399 we think Hell's delusional. He's all happy and positive and 161 00:06:24,519 --> 00:06:26,399 he needs to face reality. You know, he's probably going 162 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,680 to be a Wills for the rest of his life. 163 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,040 And I told my dad, you know, if that's the case, 164 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,079 I'm at peace. But that's not where my energy's going. 165 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,680 My energy is going into walking with unwavering faith. A 166 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,600 week later, the doctors come in with a clipboard and 167 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,839 they've got They go, we're looking at these routine X 168 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,480 rays that we took this morning. How you're ready to 169 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,319 take your first step? And even for me, I was 170 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,480 thinking that was a year off. Even my optimism and 171 00:06:46,519 --> 00:06:49,680 my unwavering faith was like, the body can heal, you know, 172 00:06:49,879 --> 00:06:51,519 And they stay I'm in the hospital for a year. 173 00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,680 By the end of that year, I'm going to be 174 00:06:53,759 --> 00:06:56,279 walking again. And three weeks after I was found dead 175 00:06:56,319 --> 00:06:57,959 at the scene broke eleven bones. 176 00:06:58,160 --> 00:06:59,600 Speaker 1: Two weeks after I came out of the coma. 177 00:06:59,759 --> 00:07:01,519 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I've got, you know, metal rod in my arm, 178 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,920 screws in my elbow, plates in my eye, rod in 179 00:07:03,959 --> 00:07:04,279 my leg. 180 00:07:04,399 --> 00:07:06,079 Speaker 1: I mean it, this is crazy, how fast it happened. 181 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,399 Speaker 2: And they come in and they get in a wheelchair 182 00:07:08,759 --> 00:07:11,759 and my therapist Bob, my physical therapist. We walk into 183 00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:15,000 the the you know, the therapy room, and there's these 184 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,920 parallel bars. Now I couldn't even use my left hand 185 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,040 because I had broken my left hand. 186 00:07:20,079 --> 00:07:20,959 Speaker 1: I had severed the nerve. 187 00:07:21,079 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 2: So this was the amount of motion I had for 188 00:07:23,079 --> 00:07:25,000 six months that they never knew if it would come back. 189 00:07:25,079 --> 00:07:26,800 So that's also the thing I'm thinking about that I'm 190 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:28,839 dealing with, is like I don't even have a left 191 00:07:28,879 --> 00:07:31,279 hand to use. Plus I might never walk, And that 192 00:07:31,319 --> 00:07:33,160 five minute rule was like that powerful to be like, well, 193 00:07:33,199 --> 00:07:34,519 if this is how my hand is the rest of 194 00:07:34,519 --> 00:07:36,000 my life, this is how my hand is. But thank 195 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,279 god my dad took a picture, because we have a 196 00:07:37,279 --> 00:07:39,120 picture I showed when I give speeches, you know, in 197 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,160 my keynote. It's like there's he has a picture of 198 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,199 the car looks like half of a car because that 199 00:07:43,279 --> 00:07:45,759 side impact. And then there's a picture of me with 200 00:07:45,839 --> 00:07:48,839 tubes coming out of everywhere in oxygen and my arm, 201 00:07:48,959 --> 00:07:50,519 you know, with rods in it all that. Then he 202 00:07:50,519 --> 00:07:52,759 has a picture of me taking that first step, you know, 203 00:07:52,879 --> 00:07:56,040 and Bob rolled me up in the wheelchair and I 204 00:07:56,079 --> 00:07:58,600 took my first step, and that was the first step 205 00:07:58,639 --> 00:07:59,879 where I was like, Okay, if I can do this, 206 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,360 I can do anything. And then it just it just 207 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,680 I was out of the hospital four weeks later. Very 208 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,920 soon after I got out of the hospital, I went 209 00:08:05,959 --> 00:08:09,279 to court to they had the hearing for the drunk 210 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:12,000 driver that hit me head on, and I was asked 211 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,839 in the hospital, like, oh, you must want to kill 212 00:08:13,879 --> 00:08:14,240 that guy. 213 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,560 Speaker 1: I said no, and you know I don't this. It's 214 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:17,360 got to be a god thing. 215 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 2: I don't know at twenty where this perspective came from, 216 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,079 but I said, I said no. I said, he's a 217 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:26,240 thirty one year old guy that drank a few beers 218 00:08:26,279 --> 00:08:28,519 at a bar and then got in a car to 219 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,040 go home. Why would I be angry at him for 220 00:08:31,199 --> 00:08:33,879 any of those things? Raise your hand if you've never 221 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,559 drank alcohol and got in the car to drive. I had, 222 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:39,080 You know my in high school, I'd go to parties, 223 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,879 have some beers, they go find it. 224 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: You know, I make bad decision. 225 00:08:42,279 --> 00:08:44,720 Speaker 2: But it's like I wasn't an evil person because I 226 00:08:44,759 --> 00:08:47,159 did that. I just was an immature. It's a bad decision. 227 00:08:47,399 --> 00:08:49,639 This guy was thirty one years old, married, he had 228 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:51,759 a young like a three year old kid, and so 229 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:55,240 I had zero anger toward him. I had zero anger 230 00:08:55,279 --> 00:08:58,279 toward him. And when I went to the trial. Before 231 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:01,200 the trial, my parents, because I I had my brain damage, 232 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,840 I was slurring my speech. It was hard for me 233 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,440 to even talk, you know, and formulate thoughts. My my 234 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,759 my memory was bad. And so my parents said, hey, 235 00:09:07,799 --> 00:09:10,320 we'll speak for you. You know, do you want to speak? 236 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,159 I said no, I don't. I'm not ready to get 237 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,480 up in front of a bunch of people and talk 238 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:16,639 right now. And they said, we'll speak for you. What 239 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,320 what do you want? And I guess the attorney had 240 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,279 sat down with him and say hey, like and so, 241 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,360 and there was like a civil and a you know 242 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:27,440 and so. But so my parents poke, They said, we've 243 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:31,240 talked to hell and he is asking that the uh 244 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:34,080 that because they wanted him to spend three years in prison. 245 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,360 And my thought is he's going to be the like 246 00:09:36,799 --> 00:09:38,759 his kids without a dad for three years. That suck, 247 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,360 you know. And again he just made a mistake. He 248 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,120 didn't try to hurt me. So my request. I talked 249 00:09:43,159 --> 00:09:45,080 and parents kind of helped, like what do you think, Hal, 250 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,519 and you know, here's some ideas, And what we requested 251 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,399 is that he gets six months in prison because I 252 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:53,399 thought he definitely should have that time to ponder, think, reflect, right, 253 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,360 but not three years, like six. 254 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,080 Speaker 1: Months has plenty of time. 255 00:09:56,279 --> 00:09:58,159 Speaker 2: And then I asked that the rest of the sentence 256 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,679 that they the court was proposing three years, that he 257 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:00,919 had to. 258 00:10:00,919 --> 00:10:03,080 Speaker 1: Spend two and a half years speaking at. 259 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,879 Speaker 2: Schools sharing what happened to him, to try to actually 260 00:10:06,879 --> 00:10:08,600 make a positive impact because he's not making a positive 261 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,799 impact sitting in court in prison. So that's what my 262 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:14,240 parents requested on my behalf, and the judge just was, 263 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,120 I don't know, lazy, like I'm not going to do 264 00:10:16,159 --> 00:10:19,120 this creative sentence. We don't like three year and he 265 00:10:19,159 --> 00:10:20,919 just gave him the full sentence. But that was my 266 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,919 request was that, you know, and I never followed it 267 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,720 like I had again no ill will, and I never 268 00:10:24,759 --> 00:10:27,519 followed up to I don't know if he served three years. 269 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:29,200 I don't know if he served I don't know. At 270 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,919 that point, I rest, you know, it's like, hey, I 271 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:31,840 you know, I'm at peace. 272 00:10:31,879 --> 00:10:32,360 Speaker 1: I forgive. 273 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:36,159 Speaker 2: There's no hard feelings until I went through cancer and 274 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,799 faced losing my kid or you know, losing my life 275 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:40,639 and not being around for my kids, and then through 276 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:44,720 chemo and you know, just sleepless nights and being close 277 00:10:44,759 --> 00:10:45,559 to death again. 278 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:46,559 Speaker 1: And being awake for all of it. 279 00:10:46,639 --> 00:10:49,639 Speaker 2: And that wasn't until I really went through the dark 280 00:10:49,759 --> 00:10:51,639 night of the soul that was in twenty twenty. For 281 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,840 me started at the end of twenty nineteen. Being in 282 00:10:53,919 --> 00:10:56,320 twenty twenty, it was a six month period of depression 283 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,879 and wanting to die and not sleeping for more than 284 00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:02,519 two to four hours night every single night. So my 285 00:11:02,759 --> 00:11:04,919 one night I woke up struggling to breathe. I went 286 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,080 to the er and they drained almost two liters of 287 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,000 fluid from my lung. No, I mean it was, it 288 00:11:09,039 --> 00:11:10,519 was wild. They stuck a need on the back of 289 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,399 my through my you know, spine, and drunk, I go 290 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,000 home and they said, hey, we think you have a 291 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:14,600 pneumonia or what. 292 00:11:14,639 --> 00:11:15,639 Speaker 1: I forget what they said. That was. 293 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,840 Speaker 2: They said, if it doesn't get better, you know, come back. 294 00:11:18,039 --> 00:11:20,559 They give me antibiotics, and then like a day and 295 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,639 a half, two days later, I can't breathe again. 296 00:11:22,799 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 1: Go in. 297 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,279 Speaker 2: This went on for like, I think it was eleven days, 298 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:26,919 and they couldn't figure out what was wrong, and they're 299 00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:29,039 sending me to different hospitals and this and that, and 300 00:11:29,159 --> 00:11:32,279 finally they diagnosed me with this rare aggressive form of cancer, 301 00:11:32,519 --> 00:11:35,679 and my wife was terrified and distraught. I remember though, 302 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,639 when I got diagnosed, the doctor was He goes, hell, 303 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,399 I want you to, you know, come in and get 304 00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:43,000 the results. And he goes, well, there's definitely something here. 305 00:11:43,039 --> 00:11:45,200 We're seeing something. And he's like beating around the bush. 306 00:11:45,279 --> 00:11:47,879 He like he can't get himself to tell me, and 307 00:11:47,919 --> 00:11:49,840 I lean over. I lean over, I put my hand. 308 00:11:49,879 --> 00:11:51,360 He was a new doctor. I just moved to Texas 309 00:11:51,399 --> 00:11:53,519 like two months before. I have my hand on his arm. 310 00:11:53,519 --> 00:11:54,840 I go, hey, doc, I get I go like, I 311 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,679 can tell you're wrestling with whatever you're gonna tell me. 312 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:58,080 I don't know what it is, I said, but I 313 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,679 live by this thing called I'm not kidding the minute rule. 314 00:12:00,879 --> 00:12:03,559 I accept life before it even happens. Whatever you're gonna 315 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:05,559 tell me, I'm already at peace with it, he goes, 316 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,440 and he kind of braithed this. He goes, okay, he goes, 317 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,559 how it looks like you have cancer and yeah, I go, oh, 318 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,000 I didn't expect you know, Like like I'm like what, no, 319 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,399 because I thought I was healthy and you know, and 320 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,919 so I'm like what and I'm like, okay, dog, what 321 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,600 are we gonna do? I am at peace with it. 322 00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:22,559 So it was instantaneous peace. And there were definitely moments 323 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,559 in prayer like, God, what am I supposed to learn 324 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,720 from this? I thought, I've learned all the lessons from 325 00:12:26,759 --> 00:12:27,559 the car accident. 326 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:28,519 Speaker 1: What else could I learn? 327 00:12:28,759 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 2: Yeah? 328 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:30,799 Speaker 1: And it was like a lot. I just kept getting 329 00:12:30,799 --> 00:12:32,159 a lot, like a lot to learn. 330 00:12:32,279 --> 00:12:34,399 Speaker 2: And the biggest thing lesson I learned is that I 331 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,840 thought I valued family first. Because if you would have 332 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,360 said what's most important in your life? I would have 333 00:12:38,399 --> 00:12:40,879 said my wife and kids, no questions asked. And so 334 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,039 that's the shift. And now it's waking my kids up 335 00:12:43,159 --> 00:12:44,879 in the morning with a puppet show. I did that 336 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,960 for so many years until they start that we're done 337 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,519 with the puppet show. Putting him to bed reading stories 338 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:52,240 like when I went through my cancer journey. I immediately 339 00:12:52,279 --> 00:12:54,799 shifted my behavior taking them to school, picking them up 340 00:12:54,799 --> 00:12:58,440 from school, like to spend time with my family. Give 341 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:03,440 yourself permission to take a break from all of the painful, detrimental, 342 00:13:03,759 --> 00:13:06,879 difficult emotions that maybe you're experiencing that aren't serving you. 343 00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:08,679 Put them in a book, put them in writing, close 344 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,840 the book and let those emotions. 345 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:13,279 Speaker 1: Lie there and just be free. You are free. That's 346 00:13:13,399 --> 00:13:13,919 the last thing. 347 00:13:13,879 --> 00:13:16,559 Speaker 2: I would say, is to realize you're free. You're free 348 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:21,960 to think, feel, and experience whatever you choose to experience. 349 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:25,159 So accept what you can't change, be at peace with reality. 350 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,320 Journal the things that you are feeling, let them go, 351 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,600 put them in writing, and. 352 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:30,799 Speaker 1: Then choose freedom. 353 00:13:30,919 --> 00:13:35,879 Speaker 2: Choose to be free to experience love, joy, peace, gratitude, forgiveness, 354 00:13:35,879 --> 00:13:39,200 whatever you need to to heal in this moment, and 355 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,639 you'll eventually keep doing that every day and life will 356 00:13:41,639 --> 00:13:43,240 be different in the future than it is now in 357 00:13:43,279 --> 00:13:51,600 a good way.