WEBVTT 1 00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:06.960 The first time I stumbled upon the door, I was 2 00:00:07.000 --> 00:00:09.720 wedged between a mobilock off shelf groaning with crack VHS 3 00:00:09.800 --> 00:00:12.279 cases and a box of old skull programs, half crouched 4 00:00:12.320 --> 00:00:14.759 so my hips wouldn't bark at me. Later. It had 5 00:00:14.759 --> 00:00:17.399 been a slow morning in the basement, the usual valuating 6 00:00:17.399 --> 00:00:19.879 whether any donation was worth the mole check, mending the 7 00:00:19.920 --> 00:00:22.359 odd children's book sought in the slave maker tape. When 8 00:00:22.359 --> 00:00:24.559 I realized the shelf I was shelving wasn't flush against 9 00:00:24.600 --> 00:00:27.679 that far wall I could usually was. Instead, the row 10 00:00:27.719 --> 00:00:29.920 had bucked at an od angle, exposing a narrow wedge 11 00:00:29.960 --> 00:00:32.359 of space, like some secret device had slid it aside. 12 00:00:32.880 --> 00:00:34.960 It's worth saying I've worked here, in one way or 13 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:37.880 another for nearly half my life. This library is no 14 00:00:37.960 --> 00:00:41.039 grand marble temple. It's a polite mishmush of renovations, patched 15 00:00:41.039 --> 00:00:43.600 corners and the sort of midnight green lanoleum the city 16 00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:45.960 must have gotten a steep discan thirty years ago, then 17 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:48.920 never abated. But I'd have sworn I knew every inch, 18 00:00:49.679 --> 00:00:52.399 the idea that some little triangle had been lucking unnoticed step, 19 00:00:52.439 --> 00:00:54.560 my heart tapping in a predictable way it always does. 20 00:00:54.600 --> 00:00:58.439 One curiosity winds out over common sense, Rivling sideways, I 21 00:00:58.479 --> 00:01:01.280 found myself facing a door I could not It was 22 00:01:01.320 --> 00:01:04.079 painted a dur industrial gray, the only ornament a small 23 00:01:04.159 --> 00:01:06.920 neat plate, metal not plaster, decreed in simply eats section s. 24 00:01:07.599 --> 00:01:09.719 The font was old, the sort of block print I 25 00:01:09.719 --> 00:01:12.879 always associate with city issue time clocks or forbidden supply cupboards, 26 00:01:12.879 --> 00:01:16.000 A mild worth of authority clinging to each character. Below 27 00:01:16.040 --> 00:01:18.439 it was a dial lock, big lighte surprisingly smooth under 28 00:01:18.439 --> 00:01:20.640 my thumb, the numbers worn but legible, ring with the 29 00:01:20.719 --> 00:01:23.760 chilly confidence of a mechanism designed fifty years ago to last. 30 00:01:23.799 --> 00:01:25.959 The building itself in a proper handle, the kind you'd 31 00:01:25.959 --> 00:01:27.519 expect to see on an armored c of a room 32 00:01:27.599 --> 00:01:30.959 rather than a public institution's basement. My first thought, surely 33 00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:33.799 a Roebucks closet or staff breakrim faded as I sifted 34 00:01:33.840 --> 00:01:37.680 through my mental inventory. We had one storage closet. The 35 00:01:37.719 --> 00:01:40.159 blueprints had spent an unmentionable amount of time with them 36 00:01:40.159 --> 00:01:42.959 after my second knee surgery. When boredom demanded a product, 37 00:01:43.079 --> 00:01:44.959 made no mention of a section S. I rooted through 38 00:01:45.000 --> 00:01:47.560 the folder in my cart lists of every basement stack, 39 00:01:47.719 --> 00:01:51.280 neatly clipped into seas. Even fire code maps, there were 40 00:01:51.280 --> 00:01:54.319 sections RTU, even a short lived section queue that housed 41 00:01:54.319 --> 00:01:57.400 the zcene collection from the local college. Nothing labeled this, 42 00:01:57.640 --> 00:01:59.840 not as a section, not as a storage area, not 43 00:01:59.840 --> 00:02:03.959 a closet or historical room. I considered the proud, mundane 44 00:02:04.040 --> 00:02:07.159 secrecy of a city. Sometimes a supply closet is just 45 00:02:07.159 --> 00:02:09.960 a supply closet, conveniently unnamed on paper to save someone 46 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:13.319 a headache about insurance. But the sense of and tether possibility, 47 00:02:13.319 --> 00:02:15.840 that giddy, almost chemical scent of an unsolved thing, refused 48 00:02:15.840 --> 00:02:18.120 to leave. I pressed my pump to the door, then 49 00:02:18.159 --> 00:02:22.080 hesitated for all the libraries faded pride. We rarely locked anything, 50 00:02:22.240 --> 00:02:24.800 specially not where the clim opposed a threat to brittle paper. 51 00:02:25.479 --> 00:02:27.759 Some distant part of my mind shift the familiar warning 52 00:02:27.919 --> 00:02:31.520 not everything left unattended, eat an audience. Still, the handle 53 00:02:31.639 --> 00:02:33.639 was cold, heavy in its stubborn way that makes one 54 00:02:33.680 --> 00:02:36.000 suspect a cleverer designer had once argued for the most 55 00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:38.800 durable solution, but it gave with up for us pivoting 56 00:02:38.840 --> 00:02:42.240 easily in sigh like a limitoftus metes like tiny ships 57 00:02:42.240 --> 00:02:46.120 coming into harbor childsbof battered woodam's matched metal shifted the 58 00:02:46.159 --> 00:02:48.479 geometry of the room into a kind of organized chaos. 59 00:02:48.560 --> 00:02:51.479 The ceiling lamps spaced regularly, soft enough to banish claim 60 00:02:51.520 --> 00:02:54.919 without inviting it to linger. Books and folders lined the stacks, 61 00:02:55.039 --> 00:02:57.680 some stacked upright, others piled as if a busy librarian 62 00:02:57.719 --> 00:03:00.280 had been called away mid task. There was a small 63 00:03:00.319 --> 00:03:02.439 table by the door, one leg bolstered by a square 64 00:03:02.479 --> 00:03:05.000 of cut carpet. I had time only for a fleeting 65 00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:06.759 glance the impression of an ancient fol io and a 66 00:03:06.800 --> 00:03:08.840 lament slip case, and a sheaf of paper in a 67 00:03:08.879 --> 00:03:11.479 folder marked with swelling hesit and pemianship before the clan 68 00:03:11.560 --> 00:03:13.960 of the upstairs poe neckered all the way down the 69 00:03:14.039 --> 00:03:18.680 Tineyan to calm, much abused, warbled mister Finch. We need 70 00:03:18.680 --> 00:03:22.840 that property file from the environmental shelf, please. I shut 71 00:03:22.879 --> 00:03:25.120 the door gently, refusing the hungry urge to rip through 72 00:03:25.159 --> 00:03:27.719 the artifacts like an over eager child. Even as I 73 00:03:27.719 --> 00:03:30.039 wheeled my cart towards the stairs, a puzzle drew behind me, 74 00:03:30.159 --> 00:03:33.319 sharp as a prickle at the nape. Where called that 75 00:03:33.439 --> 00:03:36.199 section s new one in my imagination waited with perfectly 76 00:03:36.280 --> 00:03:39.759 ordinary patience. I told myself that no mystery suffers by 77 00:03:39.759 --> 00:03:42.759 being forced to wait. I've always lived in my routines, 78 00:03:42.840 --> 00:03:46.080 even after retiring from paid work. Since giving up my 79 00:03:46.120 --> 00:03:48.960 titles had librarian four years ago, after the second round 80 00:03:48.960 --> 00:03:51.439 of knee issues in the first fetherings of aphritis, I'd 81 00:03:51.439 --> 00:03:53.719 taken to volunteering at the branch three days a week, 82 00:03:54.400 --> 00:03:57.120 sometimes if Tony the Janeta needed an extra hand with 83 00:03:57.159 --> 00:03:59.120 the heavy loads had come in on a saturd day 84 00:03:59.159 --> 00:04:01.319 as well. Our branch sits at the edge of a 85 00:04:01.360 --> 00:04:03.680 city both too small for anonymity and too tangled in 86 00:04:03.719 --> 00:04:06.680 its own history for clarity. I was born here, walked 87 00:04:06.680 --> 00:04:09.000 these rain gloss sidewalks as a boy, wandered at the 88 00:04:09.000 --> 00:04:11.520 ocean visible from the skull's upper windows. Have my first 89 00:04:11.560 --> 00:04:13.840 kiss in the shadow of the lighthouse, presided over my 90 00:04:13.879 --> 00:04:16.800 first library's story hour beneath the original mahogany ceiling, now 91 00:04:16.879 --> 00:04:19.720 hidden by ten layers of dropped tiles. The city is 92 00:04:19.720 --> 00:04:21.879 a mistake made of pride and neglect. The main lobby's 93 00:04:21.920 --> 00:04:24.240 marble warned of alvet at the edges patched till anolean 94 00:04:24.279 --> 00:04:27.519 by generations of budget committees and nanextraddled awkwardly across what 95 00:04:27.600 --> 00:04:30.240 once might have been the Children's Guard, and hasty renovations 96 00:04:30.240 --> 00:04:33.040 completed in three and again in seventeen, none quite matching 97 00:04:33.079 --> 00:04:36.319 the plans. My own habits have settled into gentle particularity. 98 00:04:36.920 --> 00:04:38.920 I arrived mid morning, chat with Mary at the front 99 00:04:38.920 --> 00:04:41.360 desk over that stuttering ketel she insists makes the best 100 00:04:41.360 --> 00:04:43.639 weak tea, then drift them on the old retens, sometimes 101 00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:46.040 reading aloud to the preschool set, other times lost in 102 00:04:46.079 --> 00:04:49.000 the gentle arithmetic of shelf re alignment. I keep my 103 00:04:49.040 --> 00:04:52.120 own notebook, a habit both scolded and relied on by others. Innate, 104 00:04:52.240 --> 00:04:54.759 I sketch details, others let past a left handed signature 105 00:04:54.759 --> 00:04:57.319 and a donated atlash pressed violet. At a poetry volume 106 00:04:57.839 --> 00:05:01.839 I find satisfaction and raskinely overlooked. Once returning a book 107 00:05:01.879 --> 00:05:04.639 of ballads, I discovered an envelope with a mathematical joodol 108 00:05:04.680 --> 00:05:07.199 in the corner. It became part of my favorite day, 109 00:05:07.240 --> 00:05:09.759 a child's imagined code itself in answer to a mystery 110 00:05:09.759 --> 00:05:13.319 I never fully cracked. My affection for the library's eccentricities 111 00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:15.160 co exists with a kind of zeal for order, a 112 00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:18.279 trait both cherished in lampooned by my colleagues. Mary, the 113 00:05:18.279 --> 00:05:22.639 pragmatic circulation manager, claims nobody uses those archives. Walter Short 114 00:05:22.639 --> 00:05:25.639 of the annual Haunted house set up. Tony, existing in 115 00:05:25.680 --> 00:05:28.439 a mythic space between staff and fixture, claims knowledge of 116 00:05:28.480 --> 00:05:30.759 every inch of for maintenance reasons, though he prefers not 117 00:05:30.839 --> 00:05:33.439 to be bothered in less a putt bursts. Then there 118 00:05:33.480 --> 00:05:36.600 is a mesquerrero, our most recent director, almost formal in 119 00:05:36.600 --> 00:05:39.519 her adherence to protocol, but quietly filled by any breach 120 00:05:39.560 --> 00:05:41.639 from routina. Trait we share, though neither of us will 121 00:05:41.639 --> 00:05:44.720 admit it aloud. These habits and people form a ballast. 122 00:05:45.439 --> 00:05:50.000 Yet sections did not fit library quirks. I understand leaky fixtures, 123 00:05:50.160 --> 00:05:53.439 mislabeled shells. A section wants to vote entirely to stamp albums, 124 00:05:53.600 --> 00:05:58.480 now housement storage. This door was another thing, entirely, impossibly real, 125 00:05:58.519 --> 00:06:03.279 stubbornly inclaimed. I spent that afternoon passing the archives, scurrying directories, 126 00:06:03.319 --> 00:06:06.399 staff blogs, blueprints left from the nineteen eighty seven renovation. 127 00:06:07.000 --> 00:06:09.199 I made a show of clearing space in the supply's bain, 128 00:06:09.360 --> 00:06:12.079 but my mind suckled the same kernel nothing matching section s, 129 00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:14.959 even in the disaster planning guys, where every hallway nook 130 00:06:15.079 --> 00:06:17.720 and janitorial cabi are meticulously listed at the space where 131 00:06:17.720 --> 00:06:20.600 the door stands as marked as a sheer wall. That night, 132 00:06:20.759 --> 00:06:23.279 I allowed myself the pleasure of restacking my own memory 133 00:06:23.360 --> 00:06:25.720 catalog in the sensation the peculiar weight of the handle, 134 00:06:25.720 --> 00:06:27.639 the dell sparkle off the dial, the sense that some 135 00:06:27.720 --> 00:06:31.079 threshold had shifted, however subtly beneath the day's familiar geometry. 136 00:06:31.680 --> 00:06:33.639 I tried not to place too much meaning on it. 137 00:06:33.839 --> 00:06:35.839 The library is old, and I have learned to let 138 00:06:35.879 --> 00:06:39.279 such discoveries Meller. Still, the notion of her room, both 139 00:06:39.319 --> 00:06:41.920 present and not accounted for, sank into my dreams, spoiling 140 00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:45.319 through images of endless halways and forgotten drawers. I resolved 141 00:06:45.319 --> 00:06:47.759 the next morning to test my perception against another pair 142 00:06:47.800 --> 00:06:50.879 of eyes. Mary keeps a stack of index cards beside 143 00:06:50.879 --> 00:06:52.920 the return shoot jarring notes in a line which only 144 00:06:52.959 --> 00:06:56.120 she in the stands. She reads every suggestion slept. However, 145 00:06:56.199 --> 00:06:58.399 Daften claims she can still recall the patron with the 146 00:06:58.439 --> 00:07:02.160 overgy Fishing Regulation pamphlet from nineteen ninety two. During a lull, 147 00:07:02.240 --> 00:07:05.160 i sidled up to her corner. Mary, does section S 148 00:07:05.240 --> 00:07:08.279 mean anything to you? She tipped her glasses down, ibra 149 00:07:08.360 --> 00:07:10.920 hiking with the practice skepticism of someone worry of equipment 150 00:07:10.959 --> 00:07:13.720 audits section s. All the sections are on the wall 151 00:07:13.839 --> 00:07:15.920 chart by the fire exit. Never heard of an S. 152 00:07:16.040 --> 00:07:19.199 Must be a misprint. It's a real door downstairs, past 153 00:07:19.279 --> 00:07:22.079 the record shelf, odd sign, metal plate dial, lock of 154 00:07:22.120 --> 00:07:25.199 all things. She crinkled her nose, her not another complained 155 00:07:25.199 --> 00:07:28.199 about the water heat of face. Did she check the blueprint? 156 00:07:28.319 --> 00:07:30.560 I've got last year's directory here. Want to take a peek. 157 00:07:31.279 --> 00:07:33.480 She pulled a batter binder from under her counter, the 158 00:07:33.480 --> 00:07:35.800 plastic sleeve sticky with the sweit of a thousand hands. 159 00:07:36.399 --> 00:07:39.399 We paged through the space listings together, section q r T, 160 00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:42.720 the fairbrotherless stacks, the children's alco even the utility rooms, 161 00:07:42.720 --> 00:07:46.360 boasting over specific dimensions. But S was missing, no reference 162 00:07:46.360 --> 00:07:50.000 in the official records. Shrugging, Mary's at the folders side 163 00:07:50.600 --> 00:07:53.439 supplies closet. Most likely they do love inventing new coos 164 00:07:53.480 --> 00:07:56.639 for old junk. Show me at lunch. When lunchtime came, 165 00:07:56.720 --> 00:07:59.439 sandwiches and tea balanced precariously atop a batted cart high 166 00:07:59.519 --> 00:08:01.360 led her into the chill of the basement, pointing out 167 00:08:01.399 --> 00:08:04.160 the familiar bows and buckles in the tile. There, the 168 00:08:04.199 --> 00:08:07.360 wedge of space, the heavy door, the unfussy plate. Mary 169 00:08:07.399 --> 00:08:11.240 didn't blink. Ha, how long has that been here? She 170 00:08:11.319 --> 00:08:15.000 poked the handle. Storage probably feels colder than it should. 171 00:08:15.279 --> 00:08:18.240 She turned back to me, unconcerned, already preparing a rebuke 172 00:08:18.279 --> 00:08:20.639 for the next line. Item on her day, wasn't on 173 00:08:20.680 --> 00:08:23.839 the chart a press, no mention of section s anywhere. 174 00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:26.959 Mary tucked her hands into her cardigan, lips twitching with 175 00:08:27.000 --> 00:08:31.079 practiced annoyance, now shading into impatience. Honestly, Walter, you know 176 00:08:31.160 --> 00:08:33.240 how these buildings are. Last year we found a broom 177 00:08:33.279 --> 00:08:35.679 closet labeled Paula and a janitor cart that belonged to 178 00:08:35.720 --> 00:08:37.480 a skull from upstate. If you want to clean it, 179 00:08:37.480 --> 00:08:39.679 I'll be my guess. No ghosts or secret codes will 180 00:08:39.679 --> 00:08:42.679 show up on your watch, I promise. And off she went, 181 00:08:42.840 --> 00:08:46.519 the wainfluorescent go trailing after her. That was the first contradiction, 182 00:08:46.600 --> 00:08:49.600 the first little cut in my confidence. The room existed, 183 00:08:49.799 --> 00:08:53.399 no question, solid, real under the flickering light. Yet aside 184 00:08:53.399 --> 00:08:56.399 from myself, no one attached meaning to it. The records 185 00:08:56.399 --> 00:09:01.360 were silent, the living memories blurred. Myr vied with fascination. 186 00:09:01.480 --> 00:09:04.440 Had the room always been here? Was everyone else simply 187 00:09:04.440 --> 00:09:06.080 a new to it? Or had it slipped in while 188 00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:09.000 no one was looking? The next logical stop was Tony. 189 00:09:09.600 --> 00:09:11.919 He may not have approved of my fast idious cataloging, 190 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:15.000 but even he would admit to respecting results. I found 191 00:09:15.080 --> 00:09:17.759 him laboring over a stubborn pane of glass, wrestling with 192 00:09:17.840 --> 00:09:20.840 cocking so old a crumbled at his touch. Tony, you 193 00:09:20.960 --> 00:09:23.679 must no section ss, old metal door dial, lock down 194 00:09:23.720 --> 00:09:26.679 past the wreckage shelf mean anything to you. He cocked 195 00:09:26.679 --> 00:09:29.480 his head. That weird little room by the water pipe's 196 00:09:29.480 --> 00:09:32.519 been there since before I started, Maybe storage, maybe for 197 00:09:32.600 --> 00:09:35.799 old blueprints, maybe some ancient collection they were ashamed to display. 198 00:09:36.320 --> 00:09:39.440 He grinned. I never set foot in it myself, too busy, 199 00:09:39.480 --> 00:09:41.679 and anyway, those pipes rattled too much for my liking. 200 00:09:41.759 --> 00:09:46.440 Why something broke down in there? No it? I stopped reconsidering, 201 00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:49.519 you're sure it's always been here? He made a show 202 00:09:49.519 --> 00:09:52.360 of thinking, always sure, or at least as long as 203 00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:55.600 anyone remembers old rooms down here. You know, nobody bothers 204 00:09:55.600 --> 00:09:58.000 with half of them, and just like that, he was off, 205 00:09:58.039 --> 00:09:59.759 summoned by the erupting hiss of a bad event. In 206 00:09:59.799 --> 00:10:02.879 the duff restum, Mary admits the room must exist, but 207 00:10:02.919 --> 00:10:06.919 cannot remember why. Tony recognizes its location, and yet cannot 208 00:10:06.960 --> 00:10:09.759 recall ever entering, not even as a matter of maintenance. 209 00:10:10.480 --> 00:10:13.080 No record in the directories, no mention in the payroll 210 00:10:13.120 --> 00:10:16.399 for cleaning or utilities. The more direct my questions became, 211 00:10:16.480 --> 00:10:18.919 the more resistance I encountered. Are not angry or defensive, 212 00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:21.919 just mild boring indifference or reluctance. Did well on something 213 00:10:21.919 --> 00:10:26.639 off pattern? The contradiction widened. The room stood there, perfectly deniable, 214 00:10:26.720 --> 00:10:29.360 yet inexplicably familiar to every one I asked, but always 215 00:10:29.440 --> 00:10:32.519 just as irrelevant as an unclaimed umbrella. I recognized the 216 00:10:32.519 --> 00:10:35.000 shape of a real puzzle. Those contradictions I have treasured 217 00:10:35.039 --> 00:10:37.080 most always begin in the gulf between the visible and 218 00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:40.440 the remembered. Section SS was not simply an overlook cause. 219 00:10:40.519 --> 00:10:43.639 It it pressed upon the ordinary, praying at the borderlands 220 00:10:43.639 --> 00:10:46.039 of certainty. It was a quiet day, the slack hum 221 00:10:46.080 --> 00:10:48.159 of rain against the foundation, the distant ping pond of 222 00:10:48.159 --> 00:10:50.240 a kindergarten field trip in the meeting rooms when I 223 00:10:50.279 --> 00:10:53.279 resolved to return. This time, I wedged the mobile shelf 224 00:10:53.279 --> 00:10:55.840 a little further aside and brought my note bad, two pencils, 225 00:10:55.879 --> 00:10:58.759 and the dogged spirit inherited from years of methodical inquiry. 226 00:10:59.360 --> 00:11:01.559 I turned the die lock, though the door never resisted, 227 00:11:01.600 --> 00:11:04.440 and entered in sight. The place was transformed from my 228 00:11:04.480 --> 00:11:07.240 previous glance, not in the way a room might feel 229 00:11:07.240 --> 00:11:10.600 different in morning light or under shifting dust, but fundamentally changed, 230 00:11:10.639 --> 00:11:14.000 as if the parameters themselves had been nudged. Directly ahead 231 00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:16.279 was a cluster of low wooden shells, mismatched in stain 232 00:11:16.320 --> 00:11:19.480 and height, some bent under their own load. Scattered atop 233 00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:21.840 them were books, some familiar in size and design, others 234 00:11:21.840 --> 00:11:25.320 bound in textures I didn't immediately recognize. To the right, 235 00:11:25.399 --> 00:11:28.120 metal rocks held files of all kinds, accordion folders with 236 00:11:28.159 --> 00:11:31.159 bent tabs, boxes labeled in smeary blue pencil, and clip words, 237 00:11:31.159 --> 00:11:34.240 which os organized by taxonomies both rational and not. Fishing 238 00:11:34.279 --> 00:11:38.919 families un affiliated picnicking disappeared. Chess clubs beyond a squat 239 00:11:38.960 --> 00:11:41.080 table rested beneath an a laized lamp, it shade a 240 00:11:41.080 --> 00:11:43.799 faded yellow that suggested ear spent in a sunroom elsewhere. 241 00:11:44.399 --> 00:11:47.559 I roamed slowly, careful not to disturb any arrangement, until 242 00:11:47.559 --> 00:11:50.679 I'd satisfied myself with the visual sweep. A low stack 243 00:11:50.679 --> 00:11:53.679 of children's books caught my eye. One bound in sickle 244 00:11:53.759 --> 00:11:56.159 green leather, bore the cryptic title the Festival that could 245 00:11:56.200 --> 00:12:00.279 have been nineteen sixty three. Another in scrolling letters readd 246 00:12:00.360 --> 00:12:02.759 Return by June twenty forty nine. On its inside cover. 247 00:12:03.399 --> 00:12:05.320 The ink had bled slightly, as if the stamp were 248 00:12:05.320 --> 00:12:08.919 impossibly fresh. On more than one shelf, titles appeared in 249 00:12:08.919 --> 00:12:12.519 alphabets had didn't recognize angular ruins, looping scripts, squiggles like 250 00:12:12.559 --> 00:12:16.080 quiverine currents. I found about of pamphlet extalling a Nano 251 00:12:16.200 --> 00:12:19.039 Solstice preyed through the Haymarket district, an event that ever remembered, 252 00:12:19.120 --> 00:12:22.679 had it ever taken place. Posters announced poetry readings led 253 00:12:22.679 --> 00:12:25.120 by people with familiar lost names, though a quick mental 254 00:12:25.120 --> 00:12:28.440 cross check with our regular patrons yielded no matches. Testing 255 00:12:28.480 --> 00:12:30.120 a few of the buckotes at the small scanner by 256 00:12:30.159 --> 00:12:32.919 the door, I met only errors I am not recognized. 257 00:12:33.480 --> 00:12:35.320 When I fetched the old dates stamp from beside the 258 00:12:35.360 --> 00:12:38.519 love book spat out impossible numbers three slash twenty seven 259 00:12:38.559 --> 00:12:40.879 slash twenty eighty one, then at the next attempt to 260 00:12:40.879 --> 00:12:43.759 twelve slash fourteen slash eighteen eighty two, before recentering on 261 00:12:43.759 --> 00:12:46.600 today's dated running out of ink. The dial seemed longer 262 00:12:46.639 --> 00:12:49.639 than the basement could physically accommodate, weaving in odd patterns 263 00:12:49.679 --> 00:12:52.600 that surrounded me one moment and retreated the next. The 264 00:12:52.639 --> 00:12:54.519 table at the room's far end, which I tried and 265 00:12:54.639 --> 00:12:56.679 failed to find on a second pass, bore jam jar 266 00:12:56.799 --> 00:12:59.440 jammed but spent fireworks in a single faded polarid of 267 00:12:59.440 --> 00:13:02.080 a playgun I have never seen in this town. As 268 00:13:02.080 --> 00:13:04.399 I pressed on, I began to realize that objects within 269 00:13:04.440 --> 00:13:07.000 this room referenced and sometimes depicted things which were, by 270 00:13:07.039 --> 00:13:11.200 every official record impossible. City newswortters listing events that never 271 00:13:11.240 --> 00:13:14.279 made the local paper, mayor all photographs with names that 272 00:13:14.320 --> 00:13:17.799 never appeared in the election rolls, hand draw mats combining 273 00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:20.360 real streets with non existent landmarks, a lighthouse at the 274 00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:22.480 wrong end of the bay, A bakery once rumored but 275 00:13:22.559 --> 00:13:26.000 never opened. More unsettling was the fact that, between visits 276 00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:28.360 and I made several, always taking the same careful route, 277 00:13:28.399 --> 00:13:31.559 the layout itself seemed to shift items I had carefully 278 00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:34.159 indexed in my notepad would sometimes move a pamphlet on 279 00:13:34.200 --> 00:13:36.559 a corner table appearing two rows away, or a shelf 280 00:13:36.559 --> 00:13:39.320 I distinctly remembered one, marked oral histories and verified to 281 00:13:39.399 --> 00:13:43.240 vanishing entirely Until the next day items appeared, disappeared, or 282 00:13:43.320 --> 00:13:47.159 changed configuration, made examination, determined, tank and myself, I said 283 00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:50.519 about drawing a careful map. I charted every visible shelf, 284 00:13:50.639 --> 00:13:53.399 noting their borders and the relative positioning of each artifact. 285 00:13:54.080 --> 00:13:56.440 But when now returned after a short lunch, my hand 286 00:13:56.519 --> 00:13:59.080 drawn diagram was now inaccurate. A shelf was longer, a 287 00:13:59.120 --> 00:14:01.720 corner table gone, The exit door slid several feet down 288 00:14:01.759 --> 00:14:04.639 the far wall. No other room in the library shifted 289 00:14:04.639 --> 00:14:08.039 beneath its own designation. My attempts at cataloging failed in 290 00:14:08.080 --> 00:14:10.559 more ways than one. Even when I tried to check 291 00:14:10.559 --> 00:14:12.320 out one of the objects and news that are labeled 292 00:14:12.320 --> 00:14:15.720 as a reference only section as the scanner aerbosistor. At 293 00:14:15.720 --> 00:14:18.200 my next attempt, they due date fluster date ending in 294 00:14:18.240 --> 00:14:21.759 three digits, then vanished entirely. What sort of catalog could 295 00:14:21.759 --> 00:14:23.519 contain a booker to be returned at a date both 296 00:14:23.519 --> 00:14:27.240 impossibly near and centuries far. The prospect of simply ignoring 297 00:14:27.240 --> 00:14:30.320 the room was by now unthinkable. I tried to pull 298 00:14:30.360 --> 00:14:33.399 staff into my orbit once again. Tony, excited by a 299 00:14:33.440 --> 00:14:36.399 broken heater now urgently in need of his attention, reported 300 00:14:36.399 --> 00:14:38.879 may be as a special reserve collection. Before shuffling off, 301 00:14:39.519 --> 00:14:43.320 Mary summoned back, peered, and shrugged all genealogy stuff. Maybe 302 00:14:43.360 --> 00:14:45.639 places a warren of irrelevance. Try not to get lost. 303 00:14:46.240 --> 00:14:49.200 No one seemed was particularly worried about the existence of 304 00:14:49.240 --> 00:14:52.320 a door. Only I seemed to find troublesome. Their relationship 305 00:14:52.360 --> 00:14:54.679 with the anomaly was cordial but distant. Perhaps it was 306 00:14:54.720 --> 00:14:57.519 there all along, perhaps not as soon as I pressed 307 00:14:57.519 --> 00:15:01.480 for memories for concrete detail, their interest fated in exasperation 308 00:15:01.639 --> 00:15:05.080 or hope. I moved the inquiry outwards. Over the following weeks. 309 00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:08.039 I asked the people who haunt every public space daily regulars, 310 00:15:08.120 --> 00:15:10.799 retirees treating the library as a second living room, teenagers 311 00:15:10.799 --> 00:15:13.679 skulking around, panted for solen moments with contraband snacks. The 312 00:15:13.720 --> 00:15:16.559 earnest g analogists sketching his own families Byzantine chart in 313 00:15:16.559 --> 00:15:20.919 the corner. All had different responses. Most predictably, it had 314 00:15:20.919 --> 00:15:23.679 never set foot in section s. Some, when asked directly, 315 00:15:23.720 --> 00:15:26.159 assumed it was another supply room or special access stock 316 00:15:26.200 --> 00:15:29.159 have places nobody bothers with unlessness. Still it becomes urgent. 317 00:15:29.840 --> 00:15:32.559 Yet among my sample, a small number, mostly older, evidently 318 00:15:32.679 --> 00:15:36.559 native to the city, offered glimpses of past familiarity. Mister Dorsey, 319 00:15:36.639 --> 00:15:39.720 stooped in spry, recalled vague childhood afternoons poking about a 320 00:15:39.759 --> 00:15:42.720 storm with a smile of pencils and oceanaire. He remembered 321 00:15:42.720 --> 00:15:44.600 a murialed wall that his mother had said was for 322 00:15:44.639 --> 00:15:48.440 the special readers. Hetcher, student at the local college, remembered 323 00:15:48.440 --> 00:15:50.240 losing her way as a child on a skull trip, 324 00:15:50.279 --> 00:15:52.559 finding herself in a windowless room with stacks full of 325 00:15:52.600 --> 00:15:55.639 instruments and clocks. Misses tallmans wore ship beat in a 326 00:15:55.679 --> 00:15:57.720 room with a game library where he could borrow wind 327 00:15:57.720 --> 00:16:01.519 puzzles and unidentifiable tokens. By the hour, Each story shimmered 328 00:16:01.519 --> 00:16:06.120 with uncertainty. No two accounts matched. Each described different features, 329 00:16:06.159 --> 00:16:10.559 discordant layouts or objects. What's more, the longer our conversations went, 330 00:16:10.679 --> 00:16:14.639 the less conviction anyone displayed. Petra, after describing the clocks, 331 00:16:14.919 --> 00:16:17.559 retracted her memory with a frown. Suggesting perhaps it was 332 00:16:17.639 --> 00:16:20.440 just part of the old children's wing. Mister DAWs Loft 333 00:16:20.440 --> 00:16:22.960 haughtily suggesting his recollection might mix up with an old 334 00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:26.559 movie about a magical library. Details dissolved, we replaced by 335 00:16:26.679 --> 00:16:29.320 maybe I dreamed it, or perhaps your thinking of something else. 336 00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:33.279 Curiosity now led me to a deeper, stranger realization. Section 337 00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:35.720 S was no static art of act, no orphans supply 338 00:16:35.799 --> 00:16:38.519 closet waiting for a label. It seemed to recall from 339 00:16:38.559 --> 00:16:43.279 certainty one ever pressed by memory by logical inquiry, it shifted, refrained, 340 00:16:43.360 --> 00:16:45.639 or blurred, as if it could not abide clarity, as 341 00:16:45.639 --> 00:16:48.159 if its shape was not only mutable, but actively in contention. 342 00:16:48.840 --> 00:16:50.799 I learned to track the phenomenon by what it denied 343 00:16:51.519 --> 00:16:53.720 my assumption had been there. If Section S was real, 344 00:16:53.799 --> 00:16:56.440 it could be mapped, described, filed, and reference a collection 345 00:16:56.519 --> 00:16:59.200 to be solved as one diagrams the narrative of a book. 346 00:16:59.639 --> 00:17:02.759 This proach failed, and failed with assistance. The more I 347 00:17:02.799 --> 00:17:06.039 pressed for objectivity, the more the details crumbled. The room 348 00:17:06.039 --> 00:17:09.319 shaped itself to recollection, and recollection could never quite be trusted. 349 00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:13.000 Its contents were too rich, too contradictory, too locked. Shifting 350 00:17:13.039 --> 00:17:15.480 memory pamphlet for an event that never was, a photograph 351 00:17:15.559 --> 00:17:17.400 that could not exist, a map bending the reel and 352 00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:21.839 the possible. Each patron's memory provided another angle, another variation, 353 00:17:22.039 --> 00:17:24.440 but never anything that could be cross reference with certainty. 354 00:17:25.119 --> 00:17:27.319 I spent one late afternoon the street noise up of 355 00:17:27.400 --> 00:17:30.319 Gentle with departing traffic, working through the section as methodically 356 00:17:30.359 --> 00:17:33.079 as possible. I started at a low shelf nearest the 357 00:17:33.160 --> 00:17:36.440 entrance catalog in each spine. Each artifact then switched to 358 00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:39.720 random perusal, seeking to throw off any pattern imposed by routine. 359 00:17:40.119 --> 00:17:43.839 Some items referenced familiar local events, but with odd implausable auditions. 360 00:17:43.880 --> 00:17:46.400 A last bonfire ceremony on the city beach, may Well 361 00:17:46.440 --> 00:17:48.759 portrait with a different surname and face fatally reminiscent of 362 00:17:48.759 --> 00:17:50.440 a man who cloaked at the hard West hour in 363 00:17:50.480 --> 00:17:53.920 my childhood. A concert program listed as occurring in nineteen 364 00:17:53.960 --> 00:17:56.759 seventy six feet of my own elementary school, Yeate recited 365 00:17:56.720 --> 00:17:59.480 to teach his names I didn't recognize. I tried to 366 00:17:59.519 --> 00:18:02.960 be more sistipent. During one session, A noted the presence 367 00:18:02.960 --> 00:18:06.000 of a vivid blue folder precisely labeled Eastward. Building proposal 368 00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:09.599 adopted nineteen fifty four. Later that evening, in the city's 369 00:18:09.640 --> 00:18:12.519 digital archives, I learned that every major building proposal for 370 00:18:12.559 --> 00:18:14.720 that year ran west, not east, and none with the 371 00:18:14.799 --> 00:18:18.559 signatures had been formally tabled. Pressing further, I noticed small 372 00:18:18.599 --> 00:18:22.599 cumulative oddities, books whose copyright pages were obviously handmade and 373 00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:25.000 carried dates set in years not yet arrived or far 374 00:18:25.039 --> 00:18:28.559 in the past, Programs for an annual solstice festival which 375 00:18:28.599 --> 00:18:30.880 had never appeared in a single local newspaper. I could 376 00:18:30.880 --> 00:18:34.720 find newsletters referencing city wide initiatives where both the events 377 00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:37.640 and the supposed outcomes were lacking from every record. It 378 00:18:37.720 --> 00:18:40.359 occurred to me, after several cycles through what I realized 379 00:18:40.440 --> 00:18:42.720 was becoming a kind of mnemonic maze, that the contents 380 00:18:42.720 --> 00:18:44.799 of section as seemed to anchor themselves not to the 381 00:18:44.799 --> 00:18:47.000 strict facts of the city, but to its alternate memories. 382 00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:50.599 Almost histories could have beens things perhaps streamed, rumored, or 383 00:18:50.640 --> 00:18:53.720 half wished for. There was no error, no easy solution, 384 00:18:53.920 --> 00:18:57.720 only shifting possibilities. Determined to test the phenomenon another way, 385 00:18:57.759 --> 00:19:00.640 I brought a camera to document the strangeness. I aimed 386 00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:02.519 it at the oddest artifacts and enamel pin from a 387 00:19:02.640 --> 00:19:04.839 coastal science date. I could find no evidence of a 388 00:19:04.839 --> 00:19:07.319 painted miniature of city Hall with an extra wing. Appended 389 00:19:07.319 --> 00:19:10.480 and snapped a series of photos that evening at home, 390 00:19:10.519 --> 00:19:12.759 I connected the camera to my laptop and opened the files. 391 00:19:12.839 --> 00:19:15.400 Each image was a blowed, abstract wash of colors, as 392 00:19:15.400 --> 00:19:17.400 though the lens had failed to focus on anything real. 393 00:19:17.799 --> 00:19:20.880 The artifacts became obscured, no matter how directly I had 394 00:19:20.880 --> 00:19:23.960 centered them in the viewfinder. Undeterred, I opened my note 395 00:19:23.960 --> 00:19:27.279 had to review my written observations, to my chagrin. Some 396 00:19:27.519 --> 00:19:30.599 entries had changed, descriptions were more tentative. A few itemize 397 00:19:30.599 --> 00:19:32.880 lists had acquired printheticals, or was the west side it 398 00:19:32.920 --> 00:19:35.799 aded and clear shifted. I could not remember adding my 399 00:19:35.880 --> 00:19:38.480 own handwriting seemed different in color or slant in places, 400 00:19:38.599 --> 00:19:40.920 as if a half forgotten version of myself had revisited 401 00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:43.559