1
00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:12,400
Speaker 1: You. I'm now listening to soft core History.

2
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:18,440
Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to softcore History. I'm your

3
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:18,920
host of the week.

4
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:19,280
Speaker 1: Damnit.

5
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,120
Speaker 2: Chester joined us always by Rob Fox.

6
00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:22,760
Speaker 1: What's going on?

7
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,640
Speaker 2: And we have a third band joining us on the

8
00:00:25,679 --> 00:00:29,199
couch in my home, Scott welcome, what's up?

9
00:00:29,239 --> 00:00:32,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're couch boys. Scott Lopez big fan of being

10
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:35,640
couch boys. You guys, you're in the Lucky Pierre seat today. Yeah,

11
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,679
it feels great. Half my butt cheeks spread on the frame.

12
00:00:38,759 --> 00:00:39,679
Speaker 3: Like a Lucky Pierre.

13
00:00:39,799 --> 00:00:42,840
Speaker 1: It feels great, very comfy here. Thanks, guys.

14
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,520
Speaker 2: I feel like I have the best position because we're

15
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,439
obviously going that way with the Lucky Pierre.

16
00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:48,000
Speaker 3: Is that how we're going?

17
00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:48,240
Speaker 1: So?

18
00:00:48,399 --> 00:00:53,399
Speaker 2: Rob, you're in the front, I'm the cabooz swamp. Yeah.

19
00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:57,039
Speaker 3: See, it's a Lucky Pierre varies wildly differently from a

20
00:00:57,079 --> 00:01:00,000
human centipede. Human centipede, you want to be in the front,

21
00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,880
Lucky Pierre, you want to be in the middle.

22
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:04,599
Speaker 1: Look at me, go.

23
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,319
Speaker 3: I know that Dan thinks he has a bad Scott

24
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:07,959
has the best.

25
00:01:08,519 --> 00:01:10,519
Speaker 1: I get the best of both worlds, like Hannah Montana.

26
00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:13,040
Speaker 3: Mm hm, yeah, I'm just I'm just getting it. I'm

27
00:01:13,079 --> 00:01:15,200
just I just get to enjoy it because I didn't

28
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,040
write it, just like in the show, I didn't write

29
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:18,519
the show, so I just get to enjoy the show.

30
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,040
And in the Lucky Pierre, I don't have to do

31
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:25,359
any work. I'm just open holes, open holes open on

32
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:30,920
the show, it's my ear holes. In this semi hypothetical my.

33
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:32,840
Speaker 2: Hole, you would figure out a way to be a

34
00:01:32,879 --> 00:01:35,359
dead fish in scenario, what do you want me to do?

35
00:01:35,879 --> 00:01:40,000
Just lay there? I guess be a power bottom throw

36
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:40,359
it back.

37
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,680
Speaker 3: It's hard to do like you can't there's too many

38
00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:44,719
factors in a Lucky Pear one on one. Yeah, you

39
00:01:44,719 --> 00:01:47,640
can go full power bottom, but if we're talking to train,

40
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:49,680
I mean, there's a lot of other things to consider.

41
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:54,959
Sometimes it's best to just lead by letting your team play.

42
00:01:55,159 --> 00:01:58,439
Speaker 2: We're going handhelds today. I couldn't figure out how to

43
00:01:58,599 --> 00:02:01,200
do a third mounted mic in the middle without it

44
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:05,120
being extremely awkward or tipping over a lot of things.

45
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,200
Speaker 1: Professional we could have made it work.

46
00:02:07,319 --> 00:02:09,759
Speaker 3: I like the handheld a it goes back to our

47
00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:13,560
original days, and B I just like I feel like

48
00:02:13,599 --> 00:02:14,800
I have more personality.

49
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:17,879
Speaker 2: It's true we have now celebrated our five year anniversary

50
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,719
as a show. Whoa, and we started with these kind

51
00:02:21,719 --> 00:02:22,719
of handheld mics.

52
00:02:23,319 --> 00:02:25,199
Speaker 1: I didn't even know that. When was the five.

53
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:26,919
Speaker 2: Year end of August?

54
00:02:27,039 --> 00:02:27,800
Speaker 1: Oh cool? Yeah?

55
00:02:27,879 --> 00:02:30,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it was like late late August. We did

56
00:02:30,039 --> 00:02:30,800
not acknowledge it.

57
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why I had no idea. That's congrats.

58
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,039
Speaker 3: What is the five year anniversary?

59
00:02:35,879 --> 00:02:37,879
Speaker 2: It is officially like August thirty first?

60
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:39,360
Speaker 1: Oh is it?

61
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,639
Speaker 3: We started right at the end of August.

62
00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,400
Speaker 2: M hm. So here we are baby five years later?

63
00:02:44,479 --> 00:02:46,080
Speaker 1: Did you guys start on a couch too?

64
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:50,240
Speaker 2: Rob's spare bedroom also closet.

65
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,759
Speaker 3: First closet that yeah, yeah yeah, and then and then

66
00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:56,319
my future son's room.

67
00:02:57,159 --> 00:03:00,479
Speaker 2: Although we were kind of like all around a boom

68
00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:04,599
mic yep. Yeah. And then we've evolved into handhelds.

69
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then then we got mounted. Five year is

70
00:03:07,439 --> 00:03:12,479
the wood anniversary to keep a gay joke going, the

71
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,599
wood wood, and so we need to get each other

72
00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:15,319
a wood gift.

73
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:16,520
Speaker 2: I got plenty of time.

74
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:20,680
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll just kind of carve me some little butt

75
00:03:20,719 --> 00:03:25,000
plug please say. They're probably pretty easy to whittle too.

76
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,039
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not a lot of work, to be honest,

77
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:28,800
that's just a sticky saying let me make.

78
00:03:28,719 --> 00:03:30,840
Speaker 1: A face on it, give it some personality.

79
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,719
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, if you're new to the show, welcome into

80
00:03:33,759 --> 00:03:36,800
the softcore history. I promise we are going to get

81
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,360
to the topic.

82
00:03:37,639 --> 00:03:39,039
Speaker 3: We gotta warm up, we gotta take some VP.

83
00:03:39,639 --> 00:03:43,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, yep, we do. But it's a long episode today. Boys,

84
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:44,360
I got a lot of pages.

85
00:03:44,919 --> 00:03:46,960
Speaker 3: How what's your note count? Because usually I feel like,

86
00:03:47,039 --> 00:03:48,639
for me in a normal episodes like.

87
00:03:48,599 --> 00:03:51,680
Speaker 2: Five or six, I did thirteen pages. Boy, all right,

88
00:03:51,879 --> 00:03:52,879
this is unemployed Dan.

89
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,719
Speaker 3: I really hoping I was gonna catch the second half

90
00:03:55,719 --> 00:03:57,120
of Sunday Night Football Day. But that's fine.

91
00:03:57,159 --> 00:03:58,719
Speaker 1: Let's fucking go, baby, We'll.

92
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:03,439
Speaker 2: Power through this. Today's episode centers around a great and

93
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:07,199
powerful nation. Can I get a guess? I'll give you

94
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,639
ten guesses and you will not get it. That is

95
00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:10,680
so many guesses.

96
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:15,520
Speaker 1: So it doesn't exist. It does exist currently, I mean currently.

97
00:04:15,319 --> 00:04:18,040
Speaker 2: Is it a great power in the world today? It

98
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,199
could be. I could be tricking you.

99
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:21,680
Speaker 1: Australia.

100
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:22,800
Speaker 2: Not Australia.

101
00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,759
Speaker 3: It never has been, all right. I just feels like

102
00:04:25,959 --> 00:04:28,199
a left field twist sort of situation.

103
00:04:30,079 --> 00:04:31,079
Speaker 1: We're talking about the Turks.

104
00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:33,279
Speaker 2: We're not talking about the Ottoman Turks.

105
00:04:33,399 --> 00:04:36,319
Speaker 3: Damn they are a part of the story, of course

106
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,959
they are. All right, that tells me a lot. We're

107
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:39,920
talking about Austria.

108
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,439
Speaker 2: We're not talking about Austria.

109
00:04:41,519 --> 00:04:44,399
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, I'm out. I don't know, man.

110
00:04:44,639 --> 00:04:46,879
Speaker 2: We're talking, of course about the great and powerful nation

111
00:04:46,959 --> 00:04:47,600
of Sweden.

112
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:49,399
Speaker 1: That was my next guest.

113
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,839
Speaker 3: Damn, it didn't realize the Ottoman Turks played a big

114
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,560
role in that. But I'm gonna learn something today.

115
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,319
Speaker 2: You're going to learn a lot today. I learned so

116
00:04:56,439 --> 00:04:57,439
much doing this episode.

117
00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:58,399
Speaker 3: Sweden had a moment.

118
00:04:58,800 --> 00:04:59,959
Speaker 2: This was their moment.

119
00:05:00,399 --> 00:05:04,160
Speaker 3: And I will say this, So we're talking probably eighteenth century,

120
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:05,680
a lot of eighth are we going through, like the

121
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,360
whole history?

122
00:05:07,079 --> 00:05:09,399
Speaker 2: It's really sixteen hundreds and seventeen hundreds.

123
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the eighteenth century.

124
00:05:11,959 --> 00:05:13,680
Speaker 2: The sixteen hundreds are not the eighteenth century.

125
00:05:13,759 --> 00:05:14,800
Speaker 3: The seventeen hundreds is.

126
00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:17,319
Speaker 2: Yes, but we're also talking about like the entire sixteen

127
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,199
hundreds in the setup.

128
00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:21,240
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm just saying they were bucking in the eighteenth

129
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,639
century a little bit.

130
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:23,000
Speaker 2: They were.

131
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,160
Speaker 3: They're a great faction to play with an empire total war.

132
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:26,959
Speaker 2: Okay.

133
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,000
Speaker 1: Is that where Zens came from? Or is that Switzerland?

134
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,759
I think it's Sweden, Right, it feels like a Swiss thing,

135
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,360
the Swiss with the nicotine pouches or something that feels

136
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,519
like a Swiss thing. Actually, no, it feels like Swedish.

137
00:05:37,519 --> 00:05:40,000
Actually it feels like some of my keiass cigarette type shit.

138
00:05:40,079 --> 00:05:45,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, everybody I know from Sweden is like very low energy.

139
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:49,399
Speaker 3: There's a lot of countries that I don't necessarily envy,

140
00:05:49,439 --> 00:05:55,480
but they know that they are beyond their glory years.

141
00:05:56,319 --> 00:05:59,160
They've accepted it and there's no getting it back. Yeah,

142
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:02,600
there's no getting it back. It's over. So all they

143
00:06:02,639 --> 00:06:06,079
have to do is just cruise control it. That's the difference.

144
00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:08,720
That's one of the hard parts about living in America

145
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,959
is that you're living in a country that's like, oh god,

146
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,040
oh fuck, we run everything.

147
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,160
Speaker 1: We gotta go go go, go, go, go, go, go, go,

148
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:14,639
go go go.

149
00:06:15,079 --> 00:06:18,720
Speaker 3: And like in you know, Sweden, they're like, eh, it's fed,

150
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:19,600
that's fine.

151
00:06:19,759 --> 00:06:22,000
Speaker 2: That's a lot of great empires got Greece, Italy. They

152
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,439
don't really participate in the world today.

153
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:25,319
Speaker 1: No, barely.

154
00:06:25,319 --> 00:06:27,240
Speaker 3: They don't do anything like we had our run.

155
00:06:27,439 --> 00:06:31,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, we had our run. Flags fly forever now they rest.

156
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, the banners hung and we're good.

157
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,839
Speaker 2: Well. When Christian the Second of Denmark executed much of

158
00:06:38,879 --> 00:06:43,120
the Swedish high nobility at Stockholm's Bloodbath in fifteen twenty

159
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,639
despite promises of amnesty, he ended the century long Swedish

160
00:06:47,639 --> 00:06:51,519
Civil War between the various noble houses, jockey and for

161
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:56,079
power in the Land of just Enough. Yes, that is

162
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,519
a real Swedish thing. They call it the Land of

163
00:06:59,639 --> 00:07:00,160
justin nihough.

164
00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:04,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, that tracks because it is. It really is like

165
00:07:05,319 --> 00:07:09,079
just enough to live. Like if you go any for

166
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,839
the north, you got Greenland basically, not that Greenland's directly

167
00:07:12,839 --> 00:07:14,920
north of Sweden, but you have like a Greenland situation.

168
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,279
Sweden's like the last place where it's just like there

169
00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,360
is just enough resources here that we can make a

170
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:21,519
nice little life.

171
00:07:22,279 --> 00:07:25,879
Speaker 1: It's also how I live my life. I care just

172
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:31,519
enough to keep going, you know, very basic. I get money,

173
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:33,439
I spend it, I care just enough.

174
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,680
Speaker 2: We can adopt some Swedish philosophy here.

175
00:07:35,959 --> 00:07:37,079
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm looking forward to this.

176
00:07:37,439 --> 00:07:42,040
Speaker 2: He galvanized resistance and elimined all possible resistance to Gustav Eriksson,

177
00:07:42,399 --> 00:07:46,800
who incited the peasants and mountain men to revolt, allied

178
00:07:46,839 --> 00:07:49,839
with the Hansa, which was a commercial and defensive alliance

179
00:07:49,879 --> 00:07:55,040
of merchant guilds and market towns and crushed King Christian's forces.

180
00:07:55,959 --> 00:07:58,920
Gustav the First was elected king and proved to be

181
00:07:58,959 --> 00:08:02,199
a great diplomat, but also had some luck on his side.

182
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,920
The Hansa was in a state of decline and Denmark

183
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,000
fell into their own civil war.

184
00:08:08,439 --> 00:08:09,720
Speaker 1: God, what's the Danish Civil War?

185
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:09,879
Speaker 2: Like?

186
00:08:09,879 --> 00:08:14,120
Speaker 1: What are you even fighting over? What do you It's a.

187
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,759
Speaker 3: Lot of civil wars, actually, most civil wars, maybe because

188
00:08:16,759 --> 00:08:19,279
the American Civil War was over something so giant that

189
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:23,480
I'll see like Sudan and I'll be like, I'll be like,

190
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,360
what are you even fighting over? Like what what are

191
00:08:27,399 --> 00:08:33,759
you trying to accomplish or rule? Like just stop killing

192
00:08:33,799 --> 00:08:35,759
each other. There's nothing.

193
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,720
Speaker 2: Sweden, in fact, has never been a feudal country. It

194
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,600
allowed Gustav to build a centralized state without having to

195
00:08:42,639 --> 00:08:46,639
fight a large class of nobility. Swedish peasants were compared

196
00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:51,320
to continental serfs, well off, motivated, fought for their rights,

197
00:08:51,399 --> 00:08:54,960
and resisted violently any attempt to encroach on their old rights,

198
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:58,480
including representation in the Swedish Parliament. So they had kind

199
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,159
of like a middle class.

200
00:08:59,519 --> 00:09:03,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, you give him a centimeter they'll take a kilometer.

201
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,320
Speaker 2: Gustaf would ally with the peasants as they were a

202
00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:12,120
real power factor, and use their fear of increased noble

203
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,360
rights to get their support for him to make his

204
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:18,480
monarchy hereditary instead of elective.

205
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,519
Speaker 3: They're like, man, the last thing I was some noble

206
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:23,799
rich asshole ruling me.

207
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:29,000
Speaker 1: Let's look this king up. This guy feels right.

208
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,000
Speaker 3: I feel like everyone's like back then, though, like you're

209
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,399
pretty monarchy brained anyway.

210
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:34,919
Speaker 1: You're like, well, we have to have a king, right,

211
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,320
It's like this dude's cool. Yeah, he rides for us.

212
00:09:37,399 --> 00:09:38,919
Speaker 2: Let's just ride them in.

213
00:09:39,039 --> 00:09:42,000
Speaker 3: Look, it's it's the fifteen hundred, sixteen hundreds. We're gonna

214
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:42,720
have a king, all right.

215
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,000
Speaker 1: Let's just get a cool one.

216
00:09:44,279 --> 00:09:46,679
Speaker 2: The nobility is not strong enough to resist, as the

217
00:09:46,759 --> 00:09:50,519
land ownership amongst them is concentrated at the top. Most

218
00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:53,159
do not own enough land to live comfortably off of

219
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,600
and have to become administrators and officers in service of

220
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:59,679
the state rather than states within the state as in

221
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:05,039
many other nations. Sweden is rich in natural resources. You

222
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:09,759
had iron, copper, silver wood, tar heroin, which was made

223
00:10:09,759 --> 00:10:13,679
into oil. Access to copper and silver, and most of

224
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,399
the peasants grow some kind of cash crop, allowed for

225
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:20,840
a coin based economy to replace bartering earlier than in

226
00:10:20,919 --> 00:10:24,639
many other nations, further increasing their effectiveness of their economy.

227
00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:28,840
Speaker 3: What is their cash crop? It ain't coffee or cotton.

228
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,279
Speaker 2: I just imagine it's like wheat.

229
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,039
Speaker 3: Is that a Gues's not even a cash crop though,

230
00:10:34,039 --> 00:10:37,000
that's like a staple crop. I'm just trying to even

231
00:10:37,039 --> 00:10:39,320
imagine what they were growing there. That's like a cat, Like,

232
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,360
it's not tobacco cash crops, Like I feel like cash crops.

233
00:10:42,039 --> 00:10:43,519
Speaker 1: Like you can't eat it.

234
00:10:43,639 --> 00:10:47,960
Speaker 3: Essentially, it's a crop that's like will not sustain you,

235
00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:51,320
like your body. You get money for get good money

236
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,960
for it. But maybe they're just growing harring. I also

237
00:10:55,039 --> 00:10:57,919
like that herring is like such a big part of

238
00:10:57,919 --> 00:11:01,720
their economy because obviously it's like they just pickle it

239
00:11:01,759 --> 00:11:03,519
and eat it for every meal, and then they also

240
00:11:03,639 --> 00:11:06,440
make oil out of it. Herring is like they're buffalo.

241
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,879
Speaker 2: Yeah. It says a large portion of Sweden is dedicated

242
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,120
to growing wheat, barley and oats for cereal.

243
00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:15,559
Speaker 1: Interesting awesome, they're the inventors of cereal.

244
00:11:15,799 --> 00:11:19,279
Speaker 3: I mean, barley is like kind of a cash crop.

245
00:11:19,399 --> 00:11:21,679
That makes sense, Like barley can go either way because

246
00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,200
you can do bread and stuff with barley, but obviously

247
00:11:23,279 --> 00:11:25,639
you can do like booze and shit too, which is.

248
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,440
Speaker 1: That's why they're a chill place.

249
00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:30,320
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah.

250
00:11:30,639 --> 00:11:35,360
Speaker 2: Sweden got Estonia from the Crumblin Livonian Confederacy and the

251
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:40,159
important trading city of Ravel in the Ingrain war against

252
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:43,639
Russia during Russia's time of troubles, a long period of

253
00:11:43,639 --> 00:11:45,039
civil war unrest.

254
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,320
Speaker 3: And you can't call one single time period in Russia

255
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:48,279
their time of trouble.

256
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,559
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, most of their existence is the

257
00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:52,200
time of trouble.

258
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:56,320
Speaker 3: Time of Troubles Volume eleven, Like it just fucking never stops.

259
00:11:57,639 --> 00:12:00,639
Speaker 2: Sweden captured Ingria and the mouth of the Never River,

260
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,960
which meant that almost all trade to and from Russia

261
00:12:04,279 --> 00:12:07,519
had to go through Swedish tolls, creating a major source

262
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,039
of income for the Swedish state.

263
00:12:09,399 --> 00:12:10,720
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, fuck them.

264
00:12:12,039 --> 00:12:17,519
Speaker 2: From sixteen hundred to sixteen twenty nine against polling, Gustav's

265
00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:21,600
second ad off created a mobile light artillery that could

266
00:12:21,639 --> 00:12:25,000
support the infantry directly on the battlefield and flexible and

267
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,320
mobile formations that were much more effective.

268
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,440
Speaker 1: What's their artillery like? Just ballistas and catapults.

269
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,720
Speaker 2: Is so he was kind of like an innovator for

270
00:12:32,799 --> 00:12:35,639
the artillery, where he's like, we're gonna have units that

271
00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:38,960
are dedicated like artillery. They're gonna support directly on the

272
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,360
battlefield and you can kind of like move it along.

273
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,159
Speaker 3: Oh, cannons and shit, yeah, this is sixteen hundreds. I

274
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,279
don't know that they're rocking cannons at that point.

275
00:12:47,399 --> 00:12:49,519
Speaker 1: They wouldn't. It wouldn't surprise me if they had swords

276
00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:50,919
and spears. Yeah, it's fair.

277
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,879
Speaker 3: I think at this point too, Russia controls Finland, so

278
00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:57,320
Russia like abts Sweden. There's no buffer right now.

279
00:12:57,519 --> 00:12:59,000
Speaker 2: Sweden on's Finland.

280
00:12:58,759 --> 00:13:00,759
Speaker 3: Sweden on's Finland. At this point, well, either way, they're

281
00:13:00,799 --> 00:13:03,360
right up next to each other. Good for Sweden though.

282
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,799
Speaker 2: They had excellent generals and started a strategy of endless

283
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,919
war and plunder on foreign soil to keep its military

284
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,360
industrial complex rolling.

285
00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:13,200
Speaker 3: Well it's in their blood.

286
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:17,320
Speaker 2: Sweden kept the Hasburgs more than busy and unable to

287
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:21,200
unite against France, who paid Sweden for their efforts. So

288
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,639
during the kind of sixteen hundreds under Gustav the second

289
00:13:24,639 --> 00:13:29,759
add off, they're constantly just going to war with other

290
00:13:29,879 --> 00:13:33,879
nations to profit. Yeah, which is sick.

291
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,399
Speaker 1: That's so cool.

292
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,679
Speaker 3: Their ancestors were Vikings like of course.

293
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,879
Speaker 2: Sweden ravaged, murdered, pillaged, plundered and raped its way through

294
00:13:43,919 --> 00:13:46,559
Germany in the Thirty Years War from sixteen thirty to

295
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:50,600
sixteen forty eight, Poland from sixteen fifty five to sixteen sixty,

296
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,679
and ravaged Denmark and warsh from sixteen thirty five to

297
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:57,440
sixteen forty five. Europeans joked that everything nice and cultural

298
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,240
in Sweden was taken from Prague in sixteen four forty

299
00:14:00,279 --> 00:14:02,200
eight and Warsaw in sixteen fifty five.

300
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:03,879
Speaker 1: Probably two, but that's fine.

301
00:14:04,159 --> 00:14:08,720
Speaker 2: Charles the eleventh or Karl created a citizen soldier part

302
00:14:08,759 --> 00:14:11,679
time army where peasants were freed from tax duties if

303
00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:15,080
they equipped soldiers and provided them acroft or part of

304
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,840
their land. Before this, much of Sweden's army was German

305
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:23,000
and Scottish mercenaries fighting for the Swedish crown. Seventy percent

306
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,480
of the state budget went into this and created an

307
00:14:25,639 --> 00:14:29,240
actual Swedish army of about sixty seven thousand men and

308
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:30,919
eight thousand in the navy.

309
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,080
Speaker 1: That's pretty solid, to be honest.

310
00:14:33,399 --> 00:14:36,080
Speaker 2: That sounds he's not a big nation. It's a nation

311
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,159
of about like one point five million at this point.

312
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:42,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, sixty thousand standing army. It's big in some standing

313
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,720
armies now, like in real countries.

314
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,120
Speaker 2: Yeah. They would train and drill two to three months

315
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,639
out of the year outside of war, and by the

316
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,519
late seventeenth century had experienced out the ass in real

317
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:57,000
battles where they were greatly outnumbered and still pulled out dubs.

318
00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:59,559
Speaker 3: Was a lot of it due to their artillery, Yeah,

319
00:14:59,559 --> 00:15:02,039
because they were kind of like revolutionary in that aspect. Yeah,

320
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:05,559
because I mean so like was the artillery pieces were

321
00:15:05,559 --> 00:15:09,120
part of like an infantry unit essentially. Yeah, okay, so

322
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:12,120
instead of it being a separate artillery unit.

323
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,919
Speaker 2: They had those, but they also had like a mobile

324
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:14,320
right right.

325
00:15:14,399 --> 00:15:17,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's almost like that's almost like honestly like a

326
00:15:17,799 --> 00:15:22,440
proto like German blitzkrieg situation where they just completely revolutionized

327
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,879
mechanized infantry. It was almost like, uh, yeah, I'm just

328
00:15:25,919 --> 00:15:26,799
mobile artillery.

329
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:29,039
Speaker 1: That's sweet.

330
00:15:30,159 --> 00:15:32,159
Speaker 2: The fact of the matter, though, was they couldn't really

331
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,080
afford to take losses like many other many of their

332
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:39,039
neighbors with much larger populations, So the rest of Swedish

333
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:43,200
society was basically rearranged in supported the armed forces. It

334
00:15:43,279 --> 00:15:44,600
was a nation build on more.

335
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,720
Speaker 1: So, that's no pyrrhic victories allowed in Sweden. Like you

336
00:15:48,799 --> 00:15:51,039
got to get that dub and get it real clean.

337
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,720
You can't really lose guys either. Yeah, you've got to

338
00:15:53,759 --> 00:15:55,279
launch artillery until they give up.

339
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,159
Speaker 3: But you know what, dude, that honestly, that's a way

340
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,279
to like revolutionize fighting because now all of a sudden,

341
00:16:01,279 --> 00:16:04,720
you're like, hey boy, we lost a lot of guys

342
00:16:04,799 --> 00:16:07,799
just marching in a line at that other line. We

343
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:08,639
got to take cover.

344
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,799
Speaker 1: We can't let that many people die, Like, we got

345
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:14,519
to start shooting from behind fucking fences and shit. It

346
00:16:14,559 --> 00:16:16,519
blows my mind how long it took for people to

347
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:17,120
realize that.

348
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,240
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I mean crazy, they wanted to just like

349
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,440
concentrate fire. I guess there's no I don't know. There

350
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,799
had to be so many people just standing there that

351
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,360
were like, there's got to be a better way. There's

352
00:16:28,399 --> 00:16:29,519
got to be a better way than this.

353
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:34,120
Speaker 2: At this point, their empire nearly encircles the entire Baltic Sea.

354
00:16:34,639 --> 00:16:38,360
They dominate trade, and their army is world class. And

355
00:16:38,399 --> 00:16:43,240
that gets us to today's topic, the Great Northern War.

356
00:16:43,799 --> 00:16:45,039
Hear about this? Know about this?

357
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:46,240
Speaker 1: No?

358
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,519
Speaker 2: No, you've never heard of the Great Northern War.

359
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,960
Speaker 1: I haven't heard about much, especially not this. Yeah.

360
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,879
Speaker 2: I didn't hear about this either until I actually researched it,

361
00:16:55,919 --> 00:17:00,840
and uh, wildly fascinated. Sweden took on essentially all of Europe.

362
00:17:01,639 --> 00:17:04,160
Speaker 3: Dude, that was so cool. I'm telling you, this is

363
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:06,119
all I know about Sweden historically.

364
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:07,559
Speaker 1: Really, I don't know much.

365
00:17:08,079 --> 00:17:11,519
Speaker 3: They are a good ass faction in Empire total War.

366
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:15,240
I'm just saying they are fucking great to play as.

367
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:19,200
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding. Everyone that surrounds them, obviously, because of

368
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:23,519
how they build up their empire is pissed how they

369
00:17:23,519 --> 00:17:27,640
did it, and they want blood. They want revenge.

370
00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:30,400
Speaker 3: Eventually, the like cause it was they were kind of

371
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:35,880
like France's like not proto war proxy war ye boy

372
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,680
for a while, and then eventually they just get too

373
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,279
big for their own bridges and everyone's like, fuck these guys.

374
00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:42,880
Speaker 2: It's like, we gotta knock down Sweden.

375
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:46,759
Speaker 3: I mean, think about it. They're fucking Russia in trade, right.

376
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,839
They got to pay tolls on every fucking ship that goes.

377
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,160
Speaker 2: Through because they took all the Russian cities that were

378
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,119
actually on the coast.

379
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're pillaging Germany, pillaging Poland, which, by the way,

380
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,880
not a slouch at this time period, polling Lithuania not

381
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:03,839
that bad of a country.

382
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,119
Speaker 2: We're gonna talk about them. Yeah, I don't know, you

383
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:10,839
might have a different opinion after we talk about Lithuania today.

384
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:14,359
Speaker 3: They've done so again, another pretty good faction in Empire.

385
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:14,720
Speaker 2: Total war.

386
00:18:14,759 --> 00:18:17,799
Speaker 1: However you are, you're just surrounded by it sucks.

387
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,680
Speaker 3: So I feel like to take a lot of L's

388
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:26,480
just because they are geographically lucky Pierre basically. And and

389
00:18:26,519 --> 00:18:29,599
then what was I gonna say? Oh yeah, And then

390
00:18:29,599 --> 00:18:31,680
they were fucking up Germany the whole time too, So

391
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:35,480
they're fucking up Germany, fucking up Poland, pissing off the

392
00:18:35,519 --> 00:18:37,799
Habsburgs because they were fighting for France, and I assume

393
00:18:38,079 --> 00:18:40,960
they did something to piss off France eventually. And then obviously,

394
00:18:41,039 --> 00:18:43,200
like I said, they're already fucking the Russians. So you've

395
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,119
got five right there, and I just have to guess

396
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:47,559
the British don't love them either.

397
00:18:49,799 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 2: Stay tuned. So this takes us to sixteen ninety seven

398
00:18:56,799 --> 00:19:01,960
and King Charles the eleventh Old Carl dies of stomach

399
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,839
cancer at the age of forty one. It's been complaining

400
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:09,599
for three four years, stomach's been hurting. They find like

401
00:19:09,599 --> 00:19:14,279
a really hard tumor, and he just like suffers and dies.

402
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,319
Speaker 3: That was actually that was actually just a calcilified ball

403
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:22,160
of pickled fish. Probably died like a true swede eating

404
00:19:22,319 --> 00:19:23,240
horrible food.

405
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:28,400
Speaker 2: Now, his son, Charlie twelve, takes over at just fourteen,

406
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,720
but was much more prepared for the throne than a

407
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:37,319
typical teenager. After Carl's wife died in sixteen ninety three,

408
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:40,759
Carl dealt with the grief by bringing his son to

409
00:19:40,799 --> 00:19:44,400
work all the damn time. So this kid from like

410
00:19:44,799 --> 00:19:48,759
ten on in Turning, Yeah, he's just he's in the meetings,

411
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,279
he's at you know, all the councils.

412
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:56,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, he sees the inner workings. He knows, he knows

413
00:19:56,319 --> 00:19:56,680
the game.

414
00:19:58,599 --> 00:20:01,079
Speaker 2: So he essentially, yeah, gets on the job. Training for

415
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,519
four years before this, he already learned how to ride

416
00:20:04,519 --> 00:20:06,279
a horse by the age of four and spent a

417
00:20:06,279 --> 00:20:09,480
good portion of his youth physically training to become a soldier.

418
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,920
That's all he ever wanted was to be a troop.

419
00:20:13,599 --> 00:20:16,279
Speaker 1: You know. I was the same way all my life.

420
00:20:16,319 --> 00:20:18,000
Growing up, all I wanted to do was be in

421
00:20:18,039 --> 00:20:22,960
the army. Look at me now, just fat mullet, Like

422
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,480
I did. I did the thing, and now I'm like, yeah,

423
00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:28,119
did it live up to your dreams? No? Not at all.

424
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,799
For like a decade, I was just preparing. I'm like, yeah,

425
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,319
this could be awesome. It sucked. I got out.

426
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:35,880
Speaker 2: It's funny.

427
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 1: I'm never working out again.

428
00:20:37,079 --> 00:20:40,599
Speaker 3: It's funny too, because, like you also, I'm sure there

429
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,920
are a lot of people throughout history in the United

430
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,039
States especially who joined the army and were like yeah,

431
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:48,559
and then like they don't even get a war really,

432
00:20:49,279 --> 00:20:50,960
but you got to, you were you got to. You

433
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:52,039
joined during a war.

434
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,640
Speaker 1: I did have a cool war. Yeah, but then the

435
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,440
war ended and I'm like, all right, there's no point.

436
00:20:57,039 --> 00:20:59,200
So I kind of that's what's why I really got out.

437
00:20:59,599 --> 00:21:03,279
But over all it just wasn't fun I've heard that

438
00:21:03,319 --> 00:21:05,759
a lot. Yeah, it's like prison. You get paid to

439
00:21:05,799 --> 00:21:09,279
be and yeah, you get paid like nineteen thousand a year. Yeah.

440
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,480
I was like, oh, dude, I'm rich.

441
00:21:11,519 --> 00:21:14,559
Speaker 2: Brent's covered. Oh yeah, sick, dude.

442
00:21:14,559 --> 00:21:17,079
Speaker 3: That's about how much well I mean it is, I mean,

443
00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:18,720
how much of it goes into your pocket though, because

444
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:19,759
you're not paying room board.

445
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 1: How many meals are you buying a week? All of them? Yeah.

446
00:21:23,519 --> 00:21:26,359
I never used the chow haul because it's just gross. Yeah,

447
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:30,640
it's just great, just like powdered eggs, stuff, reheated things.

448
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,559
They didn't cook anything. It just they had a plastic

449
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,319
pouch of meat that they put in the oven.

450
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,640
Speaker 2: Also, all the barracks are just gross black mold.

451
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:41,079
Speaker 1: Yeah.

452
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,200
Speaker 2: Just I think you're worse off actually out of fort

453
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,599
in the US than you are in like Afghanistan.

454
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:50,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, dude, I had ac and Afghanistan. It was nice.

455
00:21:50,839 --> 00:21:55,759
Speaker 3: It's all it sounds too. I mean this honestly wildly

456
00:21:55,839 --> 00:21:59,279
identical to my time living in a fraternity house. Food

457
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:03,920
was terrible, horrible, old, shitty building full of probably every

458
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,720
disease you can imagine. Ye, like black mold as best, ohs,

459
00:22:07,799 --> 00:22:11,759
goddamn everything. I mean. I was a I I didn't

460
00:22:11,759 --> 00:22:14,440
gain like a freshman fifteen in college because the fruit

461
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,279
at the journey house was so bad and I was

462
00:22:16,319 --> 00:22:18,039
on adderall it was almost impossible.

463
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:23,119
Speaker 2: That's true, Rob, you're a veteran of the Zeta lip sync.

464
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:27,759
Speaker 1: Same thing as Gwatt it is, Yeah, had my had

465
00:22:27,799 --> 00:22:31,279
my GWAT trials and tribulations amongst both parties.

466
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:35,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I had a GWAT Greek week overnight.

467
00:22:37,759 --> 00:22:39,039
Speaker 2: Tight. It was tight.

468
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was tight.

469
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,960
Speaker 1: I was gonna try to do something lame, but I

470
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:43,480
couldn't think of it.

471
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:47,680
Speaker 2: Yeah. Together, So Friday, we did an episode on the

472
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:51,400
Patreon pictureon dot com slash softcore History where we went

473
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:57,039
through the data somebody like plotted the best generals to

474
00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,119
ever like live throughout human history.

475
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 1: That sounds awesome, That sounds so fun.

476
00:23:02,799 --> 00:23:07,279
Speaker 3: Hard sports data wins above replacement on like every general

477
00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:08,799
you can imagine throughout history, like.

478
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:12,079
Speaker 2: Every general butt naked on there. We did not find

479
00:23:12,079 --> 00:23:12,880
butt naked.

480
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:13,599
Speaker 1: Oh man.

481
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 2: But everyone's kind of like lumped together, and it's just

482
00:23:17,279 --> 00:23:22,599
this giant circle except Napoleon. So Napoleon is far and

483
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,720
beyond everyone else and he sticks out. He's the anomaly.

484
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:26,799
Speaker 1: That's cool.

485
00:23:26,839 --> 00:23:31,440
Speaker 2: However, I would like to after this episode see where

486
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,920
my boy Charlie twelve lands because the fourteen year old,

487
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,880
Yeah I have you're gonna hear about this kid, and

488
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,079
you're gonna be like, all right, like he's one of

489
00:23:41,079 --> 00:23:43,920
the goats. Whoa, he's one of the best to do

490
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,720
it that's awesome.

491
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 1: I'm stoked. Damn. I wish I had open I had

492
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,839
my laptop next week, I'd open it up and I just.

493
00:23:50,759 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 2: Like, we'll find it after the episode.

494
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can look, you can put a graphic on

495
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:56,319
that's like.

496
00:23:56,359 --> 00:24:01,279
Speaker 2: This is so My man might have been the original

497
00:24:01,319 --> 00:24:05,079
Sigma Mail, as he would much rather spend time grinding

498
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:09,400
on his fitness, combat skills, and work than entertain the

499
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:15,400
idea of finding a suitable spouse. Sick candidates were routinely

500
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,279
offered to him, and Charlie would often avoid the proposals

501
00:24:18,319 --> 00:24:22,759
altogether or denied them from the jump. He declined Duchess

502
00:24:22,799 --> 00:24:26,799
Marie Elizabeth of Hamburg and her offer, saying he could

503
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,839
never wed somebody as ugly as Satan and with such

504
00:24:29,839 --> 00:24:32,599
a devilishly big mouth, what a guy.

505
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 3: Look if she wasn't attractive, and also Hamburg was at

506
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:38,960
its own principality back then.

507
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 2: No, it was just like where she wasn't like a

508
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:44,759
major royal.

509
00:24:44,599 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. Is it so like if it

510
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,640
was like a small German nation, because Germany wasn't unified

511
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,519
at this point. So he had Prussia, which is huge,

512
00:24:51,799 --> 00:24:54,319
and you've got like one or two other like okay, Germany,

513
00:24:54,519 --> 00:24:54,880
he ends.

514
00:24:54,799 --> 00:24:56,799
Speaker 2: Up becoming like a duchess of something I've never heard of,

515
00:24:56,839 --> 00:24:58,240
so right, not that Hamburg.

516
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,640
Speaker 3: So like a lot of those German nations like pointless.

517
00:25:00,759 --> 00:25:03,000
It's pointless, like you need you need a wife from

518
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:06,079
like France or Austria or England, like you need a

519
00:25:06,079 --> 00:25:08,039
big boy wife.

520
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:14,519
Speaker 2: In a conversation with Swedish knight Axel Loewen, Charlie alluded

521
00:25:14,519 --> 00:25:16,799
to the idea that he was married to the game,

522
00:25:17,279 --> 00:25:21,759
and the game, of course, being the military. I love

523
00:25:21,799 --> 00:25:22,599
this guy so much.

524
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,640
Speaker 1: This dude sounds like me. I broke up with my

525
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,960
girlfriend in high school because I'm going to war, and

526
00:25:28,039 --> 00:25:29,799
so like junior year, I broke up with my like

527
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,880
long term girlfriend. I have to because I was like,

528
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:36,680
I gotta go do army shit, there's no point. There's

529
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,319
a fight coming to babe. Yeah.

530
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,599
Speaker 2: Same thing with college. You got to break up with

531
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:41,920
your high school sweetie.

532
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,720
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I have to again war college. Same thing.

533
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,119
Speaker 3: I mean, your only other option as a as a

534
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:50,200
member of the military was to get your high school

535
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:51,000
girl from pregnant.

536
00:25:51,319 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, well then she would have cheated on me immediately anyways.

537
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you would have been you'd be divorced now.

538
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,519
You would not have been with her throughout. I'm just

539
00:25:57,559 --> 00:25:59,319
saying there was There would have been a time, a

540
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:02,799
small period where you were in a doomed marriage with

541
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,680
one to two little rascals running around like you'd have

542
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:07,400
been a father of three by twenty four.

543
00:26:07,519 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would have sucked.

544
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you look way more like a Jody than

545
00:26:10,319 --> 00:26:13,960
a gi.

546
00:26:12,039 --> 00:26:18,039
Speaker 1: I actually I accidentally did Jody once. Me and my

547
00:26:18,079 --> 00:26:20,079
friend were hanging out at a bar and he goes, Lopez,

548
00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:21,880
am I a bad guy? And I said, no, dude,

549
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,960
you're great and he's like, man, I had sex with

550
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,440
a girl whose wife is in Korea or whose husband's

551
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,880
in Korea, And I go did she have a Siberian Husky?

552
00:26:30,519 --> 00:26:33,559
He goes yes, and I'm like, dude, I also hooked

553
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:36,519
up with that same chick and found out after the

554
00:26:36,519 --> 00:26:39,920
fact that her husband was in Korea. Oh, but the

555
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,839
fact that I was like, dude, did she have a husky?

556
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,319
And he looks at me, eyes get all big. He goes, yeah, dude,

557
00:26:44,319 --> 00:26:46,640
and we pulled up tender and I matched with her

558
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:49,440
like a week prior. He matched with her a week after.

559
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,200
Speaker 3: She is just getting after it.

560
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:53,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, that was bad.

561
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 2: Did she have a thing for soldiers that came back home?

562
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:57,759
She's like, you served, he's in.

563
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 1: Care probably, dude. Yeah, he's only in Korea. That's lame.

564
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:04,039
Speaker 3: I just liked that she had a husky and made

565
00:27:04,079 --> 00:27:05,480
you and your bro Eskimo brothers.

566
00:27:05,559 --> 00:27:07,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was the coolest way to find out your

567
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:08,599
Eskimo bros.

568
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, you had just like there was a mascot for it.

569
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:14,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, literally, Lopez, Am I a bad guy? Dude? You're awesome?

570
00:27:14,559 --> 00:27:16,960
What are you talking about? In DD sweet we both

571
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:18,240
found out that way.

572
00:27:18,559 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 3: Did you even feel bad after it?

573
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 1: I didn't know. Fuck it, No, I didn't really feel bad.

574
00:27:22,559 --> 00:27:24,240
I was kind of like, oh that sucks, dude, but

575
00:27:24,759 --> 00:27:27,599
it happens. And I was still like, obviously in the army.

576
00:27:27,599 --> 00:27:30,000
I'm like, I Jodie a guy in the army as

577
00:27:30,039 --> 00:27:31,839
I was in the army. That was kind of weird,

578
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,440
but I immediately just didn't care. Yeah yeah, yeah, not

579
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,160
really your problem. Yeah.

580
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,920
Speaker 2: In the same talks with Loewen, Charlie also stated that

581
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:43,200
he did not lack taste for beautiful women, but that

582
00:27:43,319 --> 00:27:46,000
he held in his sexual desires for the fear that

583
00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:49,279
they would get out of control if unchecked. He also

584
00:27:49,319 --> 00:27:51,079
abstained from booze for the same reason.

585
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,599
Speaker 1: Wait, so he wasn't banging like at all and bang

586
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,160
you got a hold in that nut for war, dude,

587
00:27:58,279 --> 00:28:01,160
the way he build it up, he must have released

588
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:02,960
on the battlefield, That's what I'm saying.

589
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:08,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was noted for having an insane tolerance for pain,

590
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:13,880
a lack of emotional intelligence, and an autistic grasp for

591
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:19,440
military tactics rules. Kind of. He has kind of the

592
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:23,119
same problem that Teddy Roosevelt, I imagine did, where when

593
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,079
you first hear about him, it's awesome, but then when

594
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,440
you actually think about the day to day with him,

595
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:30,240
it's a little much.

596
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:31,839
Speaker 1: Horrible, horrible.

597
00:28:31,839 --> 00:28:35,599
Speaker 2: I still love this guy, though, Charlie towelves the man now.

598
00:28:35,599 --> 00:28:38,000
Around the same time, Peter the Great becomes Czar of

599
00:28:38,079 --> 00:28:41,279
Russia in sixteen eighty two upon the death of his

600
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:45,359
elder brother Fador, but did not become the actual ruler

601
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:49,319
until sixteen eighty nine. He loved Europe and knew the

602
00:28:49,319 --> 00:28:52,559
future of Russia was to expand west and become entrenched

603
00:28:52,599 --> 00:28:56,640
in their economic system. The key was to get back

604
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,160
ports on the Baltic or what Sweden gobbled up or

605
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:04,559
in their glow up in the sixteen hundreds. Obviously, Sweden's

606
00:29:04,559 --> 00:29:07,200
expansion during the century meant they pissed off all their

607
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:11,039
neighbors and conquered citizens who are now under Swedish rule.

608
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,319
The angry neighbors being Frederick the fourth of Denmark, who

609
00:29:15,359 --> 00:29:19,720
was actually cousins with Charlie twelve, and Augustus the second,

610
00:29:20,039 --> 00:29:24,680
the not so powerful king of Poland Lithuania.

611
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 1: Womp wamp.

612
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:29,799
Speaker 3: It is also like, well, of course their cousins, first off,

613
00:29:29,839 --> 00:29:33,640
why wouldn't they be, But it is also like I

614
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:37,440
just being conquered by Sweden like of all the like

615
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:40,440
any country that has an annoying language and now rules

616
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:44,200
you is just a fucking nightmare. Like like if you

617
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:47,160
get conquered by like an Arab country, you don't speak Arabic.

618
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,039
You're conquered by Swedes, right, and you're just like living

619
00:29:49,039 --> 00:29:51,559
your normal life. You're a German or something, and some

620
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,480
fucking dude just like yo, but over give me your

621
00:29:54,519 --> 00:29:58,000
money home'n noman Over're no more taxes, you oh pronomenal.

622
00:29:58,599 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 1: He just's like, God damn it. I was just going

623
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:02,000
to ask if that was their accident.

624
00:30:02,839 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 2: We're all going to do the same impression, because that's

625
00:30:06,599 --> 00:30:10,480
all we have. That's the low hanging fruit this whole time.

626
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:11,759
Speaker 1: Like, are these the guys that sound like that?

627
00:30:11,799 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 3: They they all smell like pickled fish and their seals

628
00:30:17,559 --> 00:30:22,000
they eat fish and bark at you and you put

629
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:22,759
a fish in their mouth.

630
00:30:22,799 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 2: And the dude, some of my favorite athletes are Swedish.

631
00:30:31,519 --> 00:30:37,359
Augustus had other motivating factors as well. Loovania nobles promised

632
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,480
to recognize him as a true monarch if he liberated

633
00:30:40,519 --> 00:30:44,279
them from Swedish rule with the expansion of his country,

634
00:30:44,279 --> 00:30:48,440
and more legitimacy to his crown in Poland. If he

635
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,599
was able to pull this off, Augustus decided it was

636
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,440
time to get in talks with Peter the Great and

637
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:57,839
Freddy four to form an anti Swedish alliance.

638
00:30:58,839 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 3: Hilarious that that even new to be a thing. Yeah, like,

639
00:31:02,359 --> 00:31:05,119
how did you let them take so much?

640
00:31:06,359 --> 00:31:09,279
Speaker 2: They tried to do this in secrecy, as Peter pretended

641
00:31:09,319 --> 00:31:12,119
to remain allies with the Swedes at least until his

642
00:31:12,279 --> 00:31:16,200
current conflict with the Ottoman Empire was over. That was

643
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:21,759
until seventeen hundred, when Augustus just went Yolo, I needed

644
00:31:21,759 --> 00:31:24,599
to get this territory and I need it now. He

645
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:28,799
marches fourteen thousand troops Intova and laid siege to the

646
00:31:28,799 --> 00:31:34,559
capital of Riga. Swedes counterattacked, wrecked the Polish invasion, and

647
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:38,640
forced them to retreat back to Augustus. Meanwhile, the Danes

648
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,759
decided to get in the action and go after Swedish

649
00:31:41,759 --> 00:31:48,359
client state Holstein gottarup is that in Germany it's closer,

650
00:31:48,599 --> 00:31:51,160
I think to Denmark. Okay, it's like right there.

651
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,599
Speaker 3: I'm just wondering if it's named for the cows Holstein's

652
00:31:55,079 --> 00:31:58,279
maybe yeah, or the cows are name for it, brue I.

653
00:31:58,279 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 2: I didn't look into this shit. They's so unimportant.

654
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:03,839
Speaker 3: I just, I just, I would like you to double

655
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,519
check any cowfax if something's named after a cow.

656
00:32:07,039 --> 00:32:11,319
Speaker 2: Okay, good point, that's true. Well I'm not Fidel Castro,

657
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:15,519
all right, Castro would do that. The now eighteen year

658
00:32:15,519 --> 00:32:19,480
old Charlie twelve rallies the banners and finances against his

659
00:32:19,559 --> 00:32:23,319
cousin's aggression, pays the Dutch and English navies to deal

660
00:32:23,319 --> 00:32:27,279
with the Danes blockade, and leads troops himself to assault

661
00:32:27,359 --> 00:32:31,039
the greater Copenhagen area in late July of seventeen hundred.

662
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 3: I mean he's got to just be hyped.

663
00:32:34,319 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 2: Honestly, he's eighteen, and he's like, yeah, I'm gonna get something.

664
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,279
You like, been doing this for like at least eight years.

665
00:32:39,079 --> 00:32:39,759
Speaker 1: Of just training.

666
00:32:40,079 --> 00:32:42,759
Speaker 3: We have been waiting four years to have a real

667
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:46,640
proper war, and now I am like, just get some.

668
00:32:48,279 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 2: In just over a week's time, he breaks Denmark Norway,

669
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,640
forcing them to call for peace in August and leaving

670
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:59,279
the anti Sweden aligance entirely a week. He beats their

671
00:32:59,319 --> 00:33:01,799
ass so bad in a week they quit.

672
00:33:02,119 --> 00:33:06,759
Speaker 3: That is so that means Denmark has lost at least

673
00:33:06,759 --> 00:33:10,119
two wars in a week. Because Germany in World War

674
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,920
Two it did not take long to get through fucking Denmark.

675
00:33:13,839 --> 00:33:18,519
That's that's not the best record, not what you want. Yeah, Like,

676
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,720
if any Dane never tries to talk to you, just

677
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,680
be like, how many wars have you lost in one week?

678
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,839
It's more than zero, but even worse, it's more than one,

679
00:33:30,279 --> 00:33:31,240
So shut up.

680
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 2: The Russo Turkish War ends roughly around the same time,

681
00:33:35,559 --> 00:33:38,359
allowing Peter the Great the ability to put his focus

682
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,759
on Sweden and surprise the country who believed Russia was

683
00:33:41,799 --> 00:33:46,160
an ally. He raises as an army of over forty

684
00:33:46,279 --> 00:33:50,279
thousand to help the Polish with Loovenia, with a focus

685
00:33:50,319 --> 00:33:54,039
on a Russian border town called Narva. But it was

686
00:33:54,119 --> 00:33:58,119
November by this time and the ground was rock hard.

687
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:02,400
The elements were harsh, so they just chilled in a

688
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:05,359
winnery camp, laying siege to a city, hoping to starve

689
00:34:05,359 --> 00:34:09,599
out their enemy. Charlie twelve gets word of this decides

690
00:34:09,639 --> 00:34:12,760
to go against the advice of his counsel, braves the

691
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:16,719
Baltic Sea marchis troops one hundred and fifty miles across

692
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:20,840
the frozen tundra. After they land and face an enemy

693
00:34:21,159 --> 00:34:23,320
head on that was four times.

694
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:27,320
Speaker 1: His size, he attacks. Yeah, oh, let's go.

695
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,480
Speaker 2: In an open field. It's like, let's go.

696
00:34:29,679 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 1: I mean, dude, I guess the canyons are just bouncing

697
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:35,719
off the tundra once they go through something. Uh, you're

698
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:37,960
getting more kills out of that. That was the point

699
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,199
of the cannonballs back then. They're supposed to bounce. Yeah,

700
00:34:40,199 --> 00:34:41,480
and these things are bouncing a lot.

701
00:34:41,559 --> 00:34:43,559
Speaker 3: Although I wonder actually if the hard ground made them

702
00:34:43,639 --> 00:34:45,519
less effective because it hits the ground like the other

703
00:34:45,559 --> 00:34:48,039
things just to bounce and then go into units but

704
00:34:49,079 --> 00:34:50,440
if the ground's too hard.

705
00:34:51,039 --> 00:34:55,559
Speaker 1: Might go over the line, a big line. Yeah, yeah,

706
00:34:55,639 --> 00:34:57,679
you're shooting their guys in the back and they're like

707
00:34:57,719 --> 00:34:59,840
what scary.

708
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,280
Speaker 2: Was so confused by this move, he actually just leaves

709
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:06,119
to attend business back in Russia, thinking it was an

710
00:35:06,159 --> 00:35:10,159
easy win, and he leaves a French general in charge

711
00:35:10,199 --> 00:35:13,199
that doesn't speak much Russian at all. Because for those

712
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:16,400
who are unfamiliar, Peter the Gray gets obsessed with like

713
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,880
Western European culture tries to ingrain it as much as

714
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:20,960
possible into Russia.

715
00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:22,920
Speaker 1: Was he the guy who was like, everyone cut off

716
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,400
your beard, shaved the beards. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was like,

717
00:35:25,599 --> 00:35:27,440
it's like a beard tax. Yeah.

718
00:35:27,559 --> 00:35:31,119
Speaker 3: He was like, we look like fucking hillbilly.

719
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:31,519
Speaker 1: Yep.

720
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 2: He's like, where the West Virginia of Europe? We need

721
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:35,719
to get with the times.

722
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:39,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, like this stops now. It is embarrassing to take

723
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,840
you people west shave it.

724
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:45,079
Speaker 1: Beards are way more intimidating than non beards.

725
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:47,119
Speaker 3: Not back then, you look like a fucking ape.

726
00:35:47,519 --> 00:35:49,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. You would look at you and be like that's scary.

727
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:49,960
They would look at.

728
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 3: You and be like, he can't read.

729
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 1: It's fine, I'm not worried about a guy reading if

730
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:58,000
he has an ax to my face, you know' his

731
00:35:58,079 --> 00:35:59,039
GPA sucks.

732
00:35:59,079 --> 00:36:04,559
Speaker 3: You know what, though, we are a soft ass, fucking

733
00:36:04,639 --> 00:36:05,800
baby hands country.

734
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,199
Speaker 2: Yeah and we will.

735
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:10,519
Speaker 3: We could glass at anyone.

736
00:36:11,039 --> 00:36:11,400
Speaker 1: Yeah.

737
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 3: And that's the same thing with like France and England

738
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:17,320
ship back then, right, their western they're soft, they're cultured,

739
00:36:18,559 --> 00:36:20,920
but you line up with them and you're fucked.

740
00:36:21,119 --> 00:36:22,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, true, all right.

741
00:36:23,159 --> 00:36:27,159
Speaker 2: A huge snowstorm rolls through and when snow and sleep

742
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:31,400
just start blasting the Russians direction, allowing Charles an opportunity

743
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:36,079
to strike. The enemy is blinded by nature, and suddenly

744
00:36:36,159 --> 00:36:39,719
these incredibly well trained Swedish troops appear like ghosts out

745
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,800
of nowhere, right up in the Russian trenches with bayonets

746
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:43,440
and sabers.

747
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:47,119
Speaker 3: That's cool, came out of the fucking snow.

748
00:36:48,119 --> 00:36:52,199
Speaker 2: The not so experienced Russians break hard and break fast

749
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:56,000
under the leadership of a foreign speaking commander who again

750
00:36:56,519 --> 00:36:59,960
just a fucking French dude, yell a m yeah, not Russian.

751
00:37:00,559 --> 00:37:03,320
Speaker 1: Well d For even for Sweden to train two to

752
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,880
three months out of the year is a lot. That's

753
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,519
a lot for like nowadays, how much.

754
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:12,320
Speaker 3: Once you were in the military, how many training exercises.

755
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:15,360
Speaker 1: Did you do a year? Maybe two or three, But

756
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,239
it was like it depending on what unit I was

757
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:20,039
in and how the funding worked. In Korea, we had

758
00:37:20,039 --> 00:37:23,400
a thirty day winter than a forty five day summer,

759
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:25,800
and then every other two weeks we were doing something.

760
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:27,559
So we had like six months out of that year

761
00:37:27,559 --> 00:37:30,400
we were training at Fort Hood. It was maybe two

762
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:34,360
months total. The rest of it was just you're doing nothing,

763
00:37:34,519 --> 00:37:36,239
cleaning guns and mowing the lawn.

764
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:36,639
Speaker 2: Yeah.

765
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:39,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, So for half of these guys doing two to

766
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,880
three months outside of their combat, they've already been in war.

767
00:37:42,559 --> 00:37:46,840
That's probably a lot. So these theads are locked in. Yeah.

768
00:37:47,159 --> 00:37:49,039
Speaker 2: Many of the Russians try to bolt out of town

769
00:37:49,079 --> 00:37:52,280
on a bridge out of Narva, men fall and are

770
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:56,480
stampeded over by their own guys. Eventually, the weight of

771
00:37:56,519 --> 00:37:59,719
the retreating Russians is too much and the bridge collapses

772
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,199
auto together with bodies plunging into the icy cold waters. No,

773
00:38:04,679 --> 00:38:07,519
it was a crushing defeat for Peter in a legend

774
00:38:07,559 --> 00:38:13,239
making win for the teen King Charles, But rather than

775
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:16,800
chase the Russian army back to the Motherland, Charles set

776
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:22,880
up shop Inlovenia and had his sights on Augustus and Poland.

777
00:38:24,159 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 3: I mean, Russia is not going to do anything to

778
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,159
you for a little while. He just broke their fuck it.

779
00:38:28,199 --> 00:38:33,280
Speaker 1: Also, forty thousand is such a weak ass army rays

780
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:37,800
for Russia. I guess they came in too confident. Yeah,

781
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:44,159
bringing forty thousand, Sweden brought ten. Yeah, that's that is

782
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:44,719
fair enough.

783
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:47,159
Speaker 3: For some reason, I was picturing sixty just because that

784
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:49,480
was their sole standing army. But obviously not every single

785
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:50,119
one would be there.

786
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, it depends on how you allocate where the troops

787
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:54,880
go at one point and how fast you can get

788
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:55,199
them there.

789
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 2: Some of the best though, it's with the king, so yeah,

790
00:38:58,519 --> 00:38:59,159
his top guys.

791
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:01,519
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, and you always want to look cool

792
00:39:01,559 --> 00:39:03,360
in front of the king. Oh way, Like dude, check

793
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:07,079
this out backflip stab you know what I mean, Like, dude,

794
00:39:07,119 --> 00:39:09,360
that was sick, Like I would do dumb things in

795
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:11,000
front of the king in war, Yeah, I know.

796
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:14,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, this all goes down as the rest of Europe

797
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:18,840
is going through the War of Spanish Succession. They may

798
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:21,159
have otherwise stepped in and tried to broke her peace

799
00:39:21,199 --> 00:39:23,800
in the East, but Charles was out for blood and

800
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:26,840
had no intentions of negotiating with the nations he had

801
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:30,199
on the run. Pulling at the time is cash poor,

802
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:36,000
totally fractured internally, and the Danes in Russia have essentially

803
00:39:36,039 --> 00:39:39,880
taken an indefinite time out as their ally in the conflict.

804
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:44,599
Russia would still provide some troops, but Peter was a

805
00:39:44,599 --> 00:39:46,639
bit shell shocked by the loss in Narva.

806
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:51,519
Speaker 1: He just was like, dude, what he's like what because he.

807
00:39:51,519 --> 00:39:54,199
Speaker 2: Left he left thinking, oh, dude, you got this. Don't

808
00:39:54,199 --> 00:39:58,159
worry like we out number them four to one. Yeah,

809
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:00,280
that's such an embarrassing.

810
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,519
Speaker 3: You're just playing and you just you're just playing. You know,

811
00:40:02,679 --> 00:40:04,480
usf at home and you got to take a dump.

812
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:07,159
You're like, this will be fine and come back. You've

813
00:40:07,159 --> 00:40:09,159
taken a very long dump and all of a sudden, yeah,

814
00:40:09,639 --> 00:40:11,119
things are not what you thought they were.

815
00:40:12,039 --> 00:40:15,159
Speaker 2: Augustus didn't see a way out with peace. His ass

816
00:40:15,199 --> 00:40:17,880
wasn't secure in his own country, so admitted defeat would

817
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:21,559
only delegitimize his power even more, if not have him

818
00:40:21,639 --> 00:40:26,320
removed altogether. He prepares the Polish and Russian troops that

819
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:30,039
were provided by Peter to defend against the Swedes crossing

820
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:34,679
the Dueny River. The force outnumbered Charles three to one,

821
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:37,280
and they were dug in as the Swedes would have

822
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:40,800
to manage a landing for their assault on off boats.

823
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,119
As the sun began to rise on the horizon, the

824
00:40:45,159 --> 00:40:49,239
Swedes sent small boats of straw lit on fire, causing

825
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,960
huge clouds of smoke to fill the air and screen

826
00:40:52,039 --> 00:40:53,360
their approach to the shores.

827
00:40:53,639 --> 00:40:57,840
Speaker 1: That is genius. That is so cool, a literal smoke

828
00:40:57,880 --> 00:40:59,360
screens man. That is clutch.

829
00:41:00,639 --> 00:41:03,159
Speaker 2: On the very first boat with some of his best

830
00:41:03,159 --> 00:41:08,920
troops was King Charles. And once they land, they come

831
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:12,800
out of the smoke and just murk. These Polish and

832
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:17,000
Russian troops just totally cool. Destroy them.

833
00:41:17,079 --> 00:41:19,320
Speaker 3: I liked that these troops just always like to pop

834
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:20,760
out of a haze.

835
00:41:21,039 --> 00:41:21,599
Speaker 1: The blizzard.

836
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 3: Yeah and now yeah, smoke some screens a magic trick.

837
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:30,360
Speaker 2: They force another retreat and get a clutch amount of

838
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,960
supplies and food that they were in desperate need of,

839
00:41:33,079 --> 00:41:37,639
as Charlie did not restock before the assault. Has kind

840
00:41:37,639 --> 00:41:39,920
of an issue with that. He uh, he's a foot

841
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:42,800
on the gas kind of guy. He doesn't like stopping.

842
00:41:43,599 --> 00:41:45,440
You know, he's not changing the tires as well.

843
00:41:45,599 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 3: I'll tell you what the real problem is, right, this

844
00:41:48,079 --> 00:41:55,199
guy loves riding horses, swinging his fucking sword, shooting fucking cannons. Right,

845
00:41:56,559 --> 00:42:00,119
but what's the boring shit that wins wars?

846
00:42:00,159 --> 00:42:05,400
Speaker 1: Logistics? This guy doesn't want to talk about wagons and spreadsheets. Yeah,

847
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:09,800
you don't want to do that. No, that's not that's

848
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:12,480
not riding on a horse and cutting a guy's head off.

849
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,400
Speaker 2: He's down with tactics, certainly.

850
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:17,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's the thing, that's the that's literally the

851
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:23,079
saying is amateurs study tactics, professional study logistics. I forget

852
00:42:23,119 --> 00:42:25,400
which general said that, but a general said that. It's

853
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,280
like my favorite quote, one of my favorite quotes of

854
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,800
all time. It's like, dude, you win on the boring shit.

855
00:42:30,199 --> 00:42:33,480
You don't win on on like flashy bullshit like you.

856
00:42:33,639 --> 00:42:36,480
It's the boring shit. The whole reason we won World

857
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:39,159
War two, God bless my grandfather's and everything else, it's

858
00:42:39,199 --> 00:42:42,960
because the whole country was a fucking factory with a

859
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:46,119
lot of money. We were Do you know how many

860
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:48,840
I want to say in World War Two there was

861
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:53,400
something like five hundred Tiger tanks or something like that

862
00:42:54,039 --> 00:42:56,000
and fifty thousand Shermans.

863
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:02,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, hey, this tank isn't as good, but there's another

864
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,840
tank right behind it. You know what's better than a

865
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:10,039
one tiger tank? Forty sherman's shooting at it simultaneously.

866
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:12,880
Speaker 2: What's the bill bar joke? Right? We McDonald's them to death.

867
00:43:13,199 --> 00:43:13,639
Speaker 3: Literally.

868
00:43:14,159 --> 00:43:16,360
Speaker 1: Yeah.

869
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:18,679
Speaker 2: They then had a battle in a Polish swamp where

870
00:43:18,679 --> 00:43:21,599
they once again outnumbered Charles two to one. But the

871
00:43:21,639 --> 00:43:26,280
Swedes had this fun little tactic where they just took

872
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:31,239
the Polish artillery, like just slaughtered them from the back,

873
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:35,119
took over their artillery, had their own, and then just

874
00:43:35,159 --> 00:43:39,480
started blasting the Polish with two artillery from both sides.

875
00:43:39,639 --> 00:43:44,400
Speaker 3: Another Lucky Pierre situation, to be honest, just get.

876
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:45,320
Speaker 1: It full circle.

877
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:51,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, Charlie was stacking dub after dub, and it's because

878
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,880
he was so young, relentless, and he didn't have the

879
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,559
scar tissue built up that would cause him to second

880
00:43:57,599 --> 00:44:00,199
guess himself. He's just like I only went what are

881
00:44:00,199 --> 00:44:05,119
you talking about? Right? Keep doing this. He's a gun slinger, fearless.

882
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,800
His methods were at points just downright so insane they worked.

883
00:44:10,559 --> 00:44:14,199
When he took the Polish city of Krackow, he personally

884
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:16,519
just marched up to the gate and screened opened the

885
00:44:16,639 --> 00:44:19,639
door before rushing the gate and holding it for his

886
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:22,840
three hundred men, who were only armed with unloaded guns

887
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:27,079
and canes. The guards and city soldiers were so confused

888
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:29,920
they that by the time they came to their senses

889
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:31,960
the Swedish flag was being raised for a victory.

890
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 1: I liked it.

891
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:34,559
Speaker 3: He's just at the gates, like.

892
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:38,840
Speaker 2: He wants in on the action. Dude.

893
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:42,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's Brad Pitt from Troy.

894
00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:44,639
Speaker 2: He's a player by himself.

895
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 1: Yeah.

896
00:44:47,599 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 2: Augustus eventually gets deposed by Charlie and the Warsaw Conference

897
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:57,360
replaces him with a hand picked Swedish puppet king. He

898
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:59,920
doesn't really face any repercussions and starts to build up

899
00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:02,760
a resistance to start a civil war against the new

900
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:07,360
Polish leader Augustus. That is so he's Augustus kind of

901
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,920
gets he gets outed, and he's already plotting. He's already

902
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:12,920
planning to get his thrown back.

903
00:45:13,159 --> 00:45:15,119
Speaker 3: I mean, was he at the conference. I assume he

904
00:45:15,199 --> 00:45:16,440
just got out of dodge.

905
00:45:16,159 --> 00:45:18,039
Speaker 2: And was like, all right, yeah, he just retreated, yeah yeah.

906
00:45:18,119 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

907
00:45:20,119 --> 00:45:23,920
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, Peter gets involved again by attacking the Baltic provinces

908
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:28,280
of Sweden. Charles was in too deep with his polling

909
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:32,960
campaign to pay much mind to Russia. Though he lays

910
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:36,360
siege to the ancient fortress of the Thorn, he does

911
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:39,159
so in a very respectful way, being mindful of its

912
00:45:39,159 --> 00:45:42,239
importance to the region, and even shares livestock with the

913
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:48,400
city's population so they wouldn't starve. Oh Augustus takes back

914
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:54,000
Warsaw and regains power as Charlie's busy with the Fortress

915
00:45:54,039 --> 00:45:59,000
of Thorn. But you know, after he takes care of business,

916
00:45:59,199 --> 00:46:02,280
goes right back to Saw and it's just like swoops

917
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:05,159
in kicks Augustus out for a time.

918
00:46:07,079 --> 00:46:09,320
Speaker 3: This feels like a situation. I don't know how it ends.

919
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:11,280
Actually I sort of do, because I'm reminded of a.

920
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:13,639
Speaker 2: Thing, but I won't don't spoil it.

921
00:46:13,679 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 3: I won't spoil it. But this reminds me of that video.

922
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:19,280
I don't know if you guys already seen it, but

923
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:23,960
there's like a video where there's like six lions around

924
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,480
this baboon and this baboon is just going crazy and

925
00:46:27,559 --> 00:46:29,440
scaring the shit out of them and they're like, oh

926
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:31,480
my God, and they don't know what to do, and

927
00:46:31,519 --> 00:46:34,079
this baboon's just being a psycho and he's kind of

928
00:46:34,079 --> 00:46:37,039
like got him backing off, and then finally one of

929
00:46:37,079 --> 00:46:39,559
the lions is like, wait.

930
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:42,239
Speaker 1: We're lions, and they just.

931
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:46,639
Speaker 3: Rip that baboon to pieces. That's the vibe I'm getting.

932
00:46:46,639 --> 00:46:48,039
I don't know if it's gonna go that way.

933
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:50,440
Speaker 1: The bystander effect or whatever. Yeah.

934
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 2: In seventeen oh five, Augustus was just outside the capitol

935
00:46:54,039 --> 00:46:56,880
with ten thousand of his own men. They ran into

936
00:46:56,920 --> 00:47:00,519
a small Swedish cavalry unit of nineteen hundred and six

937
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:06,280
sixty infantrymen. Eager to slaughter the greatly outnumbered Swedes, Augustus

938
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:09,880
rushed his attack without much thought, figuring that if they

939
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:13,719
encircled the small Swedish band it would be more than enough.

940
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:18,559
But once again, the Swedes held strong and the battle

941
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:21,159
was a diabolical beat down.

942
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:23,199
Speaker 1: God damn.

943
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,400
Speaker 2: And this is just a story of the Great Northern

944
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:28,760
War for a lot of it, especially in the beginning.

945
00:47:29,519 --> 00:47:33,039
Sweden's outnumbered and they just kick everyone's ass.

946
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:35,960
Speaker 3: Did they encircle them?

947
00:47:36,199 --> 00:47:37,320
Speaker 1: They? How do they even get away?

948
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:40,679
Speaker 2: How they even handle that they're sixty infantrymen or just

949
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:42,880
like chilling in long grass and just pop out like

950
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:46,119
ghosts again? Hell yeah, they love surprising people.

951
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:53,360
Speaker 4: Hey, terrifying Really they are the Swedes, despite the odds,

952
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:57,360
prevail over and over again in battle and siege.

953
00:47:58,039 --> 00:48:00,679
Speaker 2: Augustus has to call for peace and they sign a treaty.

954
00:48:00,679 --> 00:48:05,760
In seventeen oh six. Johann Potkol, who was the nobleman

955
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:09,679
that put the idea of Lavinia into Augustus's head, is

956
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:13,199
given over to the Swedes and executed by breaking wheel.

957
00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:17,239
Speaker 3: Oh damn, that's not a sweet way to go.

958
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:21,639
Speaker 2: And this was after pack Hole was initially received immunity,

959
00:48:22,199 --> 00:48:24,760
and this was maybe the first misstep of Charlie twelve.

960
00:48:26,599 --> 00:48:30,360
So he kills this nobleman on the breaking wheel, and

961
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:33,559
a lot of nobles in other countries are not thrilled

962
00:48:33,559 --> 00:48:33,800
with that.

963
00:48:35,159 --> 00:48:38,239
Speaker 3: You don't do that. You don't do that. You can

964
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:42,840
kill as many hobos as you want on a breaking wheel, whatever,

965
00:48:43,159 --> 00:48:46,760
mud person you feel like ripping to pieces, breaking all

966
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:50,239
their bones whatever. They're not even human beings anyway.

967
00:48:50,599 --> 00:48:52,800
Speaker 1: But yeah, noble guy.

968
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:55,519
Speaker 3: That's people aren't gonna be thrilled with that.

969
00:48:55,679 --> 00:48:57,639
Speaker 1: Like that could be us. Yeah, I mean that's why.

970
00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:00,119
Speaker 3: Look at what happened in the French Revolution, right, Like

971
00:49:00,159 --> 00:49:03,199
all the other monarchies were like, oh boy, that is

972
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:06,599
not cool. We gotta fight France.

973
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, Augustus himself has to renounce the crown. But

974
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:15,360
they keep letting this dude face virtually no consequences for

975
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:19,199
his actions, So he'll pop again, he'll pop back up again. Later,

976
00:49:21,159 --> 00:49:24,119
Peter and the Russians had begun making ground into the

977
00:49:24,119 --> 00:49:27,559
Baltic territories. While this is all happening, they get to

978
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:32,679
the Swedish fortress of Nians, guns, level it and erect

979
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:36,840
the city of Saint Petersburg from its ashes. Oh okay,

980
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:42,280
now that Charles could fully put his attention onto Russia.

981
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:45,400
Now that both the Dane and Polish were out of

982
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:48,840
the war, he attempted to blockade this new gateway to

983
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:51,760
the west for Russia. As he began marching his army

984
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:56,199
towards Saint Petersburg, peace offerings were sent his way by

985
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:59,719
Peter the Great. The Russians offered to give back everything

986
00:50:00,079 --> 00:50:02,519
they had taken so long as they would keep the

987
00:50:02,559 --> 00:50:06,280
new city of Russia, Saint Petersburg. They're like, all right,

988
00:50:06,559 --> 00:50:08,360
we'll give you back everything, but we're keeping this. This

989
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:11,360
is our jewel. We love Saint Petersburg. Pere the Great

990
00:50:12,039 --> 00:50:14,920
in the city after himself. This is like, this is

991
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:17,679
his project this is what he's obsessed with. Let him

992
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:24,800
keep it. Charles says, no, man, Charles said, give us

993
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:26,119
our city bag, piece of shit.

994
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:27,320
Speaker 1: You had to think that was coming.

995
00:50:29,079 --> 00:50:32,039
Speaker 3: I mean, has he taken a loss yet even No, Yeah,

996
00:50:32,039 --> 00:50:32,960
he's on a winning streak.

997
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:33,719
Speaker 1: You don't fuck with that.

998
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:39,199
Speaker 2: The only problem with Saint Petersburg is it's heavily reinforced,

999
00:50:39,199 --> 00:50:41,639
like the Russians put a lot of resources and money

1000
00:50:41,639 --> 00:50:44,280
into it. It's gonna be really hard to take back.

1001
00:50:46,199 --> 00:50:50,199
Charlie rejects the offering, not knowing what losing was. At

1002
00:50:50,199 --> 00:50:54,199
this point, he devises a plan, but not to attack

1003
00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:59,920
Saint Petersburg. No, this was a true heat check moment.

1004
00:51:01,159 --> 00:51:06,599
Charlie and the Swedes were making their way to Moscow.

1005
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:09,800
Speaker 1: Oh no, yes, you can't march on Moscow.

1006
00:51:10,159 --> 00:51:12,119
Speaker 3: Real quick, Before we keep going, we do have some ads.

1007
00:51:12,119 --> 00:51:16,800
First up is one skin one skin for a limited time.

1008
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,719
You can try one skin with fifteen percent off using

1009
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:24,039
the code softcore at one skin dot c Oh what

1010
00:51:24,199 --> 00:51:29,880
is one skin? It is my favorite facial like lotion, moisturizer,

1011
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:34,960
anti aging stuff that you can find anywhere. Every time

1012
00:51:35,039 --> 00:51:36,960
I buy it on my own, but every time they

1013
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:39,039
re up with us. I'm like, God, yes, because they

1014
00:51:39,119 --> 00:51:43,519
just send me a bunch. It is amazing. My favorite

1015
00:51:43,559 --> 00:51:45,840
thing about one Skin is that it is made by

1016
00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:48,880
people who have worked in the business for a long

1017
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:53,039
time and they are anti aging experts. It's a science

1018
00:51:53,119 --> 00:51:58,239
first approach. It delivers hydration, barrier support and longevity benefits

1019
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:02,320
in a single step. At the core, again, these are

1020
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:06,159
science of people. Is their patented os one peptide. It's

1021
00:52:06,199 --> 00:52:11,000
the first ingredient in skincare stuff proven to target sentocent

1022
00:52:11,559 --> 00:52:15,239
sentacent cells apology if I f that up the root

1023
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:20,559
cause of wrinkles, creppiness, and loss of elasticity in skins,

1024
00:52:20,599 --> 00:52:23,280
in skin just all sign of skin aging. The results

1025
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:27,239
have been validated in five different published clinical studies. Customers

1026
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:29,559
rave about this. I rave about it. I am telling

1027
00:52:29,559 --> 00:52:33,440
you my skin looks way better when I'm using One Skin,

1028
00:52:33,599 --> 00:52:36,360
both their face stuff and also like their under eyes

1029
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,400
Stuff's actually my favorite because I'm a pale boy.

1030
00:52:38,599 --> 00:52:41,679
Speaker 1: I get dark under eyes and kind of just wrinkly

1031
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:42,199
under eyes.

1032
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:45,119
Speaker 3: The sun is hell on me, and One Skin's products

1033
00:52:45,159 --> 00:52:50,639
are incredible for that. It is certified say for sensitive skin. Again,

1034
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:52,960
I use it, and I have very sensitive skin because

1035
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:56,079
I'm a pale boy. Their moisturizers are free from over

1036
00:52:56,119 --> 00:53:00,480
fifteen hundred harsh and irritating ingredients. It's dermatologists tested. I'm

1037
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:04,639
telling you, guys, this is mostly male audience skincare. It

1038
00:53:04,679 --> 00:53:07,000
feels like a girl thing, feels like a feminine thing.

1039
00:53:07,039 --> 00:53:08,599
They're the ones that have to do it a ton,

1040
00:53:09,119 --> 00:53:10,960
and you know they just think about that stuff more.

1041
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:12,800
You don't want to overthink it. You just want to

1042
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:15,480
get something that works and keep using it. And that

1043
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:18,760
is one Skin. Honestly, like I just put it on.

1044
00:53:19,039 --> 00:53:22,519
It works, It's awesome. It keeps me feeling young, keeps

1045
00:53:22,559 --> 00:53:25,599
me looking young, keeps me tight, keeps that face tight.

1046
00:53:25,639 --> 00:53:28,280
I'm telling you check out one Skin. One Skin is

1047
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:32,000
the world's first skin longevity company, targeting cellular aging to

1048
00:53:32,079 --> 00:53:35,199
keep your skin and scalp looking and acting younger for longer.

1049
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:37,639
And again, for a limited time, you can try one

1050
00:53:37,639 --> 00:53:41,039
skin with fifteen percent off using the code softcore at

1051
00:53:41,079 --> 00:53:45,119
oneskin dot Co. That's fifteen percent off oneskin dot Co

1052
00:53:45,639 --> 00:53:47,960
with the code softcore. After your purchase, they're going to

1053
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,320
ask you where you heard about them. Please support our

1054
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:53,320
show and tell them that we sent you. Try one

1055
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:57,920
Skin today, the future of you, your future self will

1056
00:53:57,960 --> 00:53:58,480
thank you.

1057
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:02,280
Speaker 2: The meg good time the Russian countryside, despite most bridges

1058
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:07,880
being burned by retreating Russian troops, an occasional Tartar Mongol

1059
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,920
horsemen would be a speed bump here and there, but

1060
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:13,920
they faced no real opposition until they got to the

1061
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:18,280
Raabbits River. Charlie didn't see this as a no go, though,

1062
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:19,239
he saw an opening.

1063
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,079
Speaker 1: He's won a battle in a swamp before.

1064
00:54:24,199 --> 00:54:26,960
Speaker 2: It required his guys to be shouldered deep in water,

1065
00:54:27,559 --> 00:54:30,760
but they found a lane and overcame the odds once again,

1066
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:32,679
pushing the Russian troops into retreat.

1067
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:38,320
Speaker 3: Fuck that, how do their guns even work at that point?

1068
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:39,840
You're not getting the cannons through that.

1069
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:43,440
Speaker 2: They have the sabers though, man, yeah, they just I

1070
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:44,519
don't know. They were one of them.

1071
00:54:44,559 --> 00:54:47,559
Speaker 1: Really good with swords, yeah, fixed banets, dudes.

1072
00:54:47,599 --> 00:54:49,880
Speaker 3: You're fighting with spears today. All your powder's wet, but

1073
00:54:50,039 --> 00:54:51,159
you're just gonna be stabbing.

1074
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:56,119
Speaker 2: At this point, the Swedes are physically spent. They took

1075
00:54:56,119 --> 00:54:58,960
a month at that marsh to rest and to try

1076
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,400
to find the energy to keep pushing on to the capitol.

1077
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:05,239
As they took a break, Peter made short to lay

1078
00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:07,760
waste to his own land that the Swedes would have

1079
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:12,719
to eventually cross. Crops were carted off, pastures were burned

1080
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:16,760
and salted, and a Russian wastelam was created to deter

1081
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:20,440
Charles and his unstoppable unit, who was who have yet

1082
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:23,840
to take an l They haven't lost yet. And Peter's like,

1083
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:25,679
you know what, I don't really give a shit about

1084
00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:29,679
my people in the countryside. They can starve gota. We

1085
00:55:29,719 --> 00:55:31,079
gotta stopped this moment, dude.

1086
00:55:31,119 --> 00:55:33,920
Speaker 3: I don't know if this is the first time the

1087
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:37,840
Russians did this, but it's really this is the I

1088
00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:40,079
wonder if Charles gave them the blueprint for how to

1089
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:42,880
uh you know, that's because that's what they did in

1090
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:45,360
Napoleon and what they did to Hitler. They were just like,

1091
00:55:45,639 --> 00:55:48,719
just keep retreating, burn everything, keep retreating. They will get

1092
00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:49,719
they'll get overstretched.

1093
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:50,159
Speaker 1: It's fine.

1094
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:54,880
Speaker 2: This totally burned Peter's own people, but it did work

1095
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:59,320
as intended. Once the Swedes marched on, food was scarce,

1096
00:55:59,639 --> 00:56:05,400
disease popped off, and morale was starting to decline. Charles

1097
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:09,519
commanders pleaded for them to turn back to de Nieper

1098
00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:13,599
to get supplies from a relief force, but doing so

1099
00:56:13,639 --> 00:56:17,800
would essentially kill their campaign altogether. He asked for another option,

1100
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:20,840
where they came up with the idea to try and

1101
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:26,079
rally the Cusick troops in the Ukraine and take advantage

1102
00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:29,079
of the bread basket of Europe that Peter had not

1103
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:32,320
totally torched. Got to go to Ukraine.

1104
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:35,599
Speaker 3: Ukraine is dude, people, I mean, there's a reason that

1105
00:56:35,719 --> 00:56:38,079
Russia wanted to conquer Ukraine again. That was like there,

1106
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:41,599
that was like the best part of Russia. Like, by far,

1107
00:56:42,159 --> 00:56:44,599
I swear to god, it's like Russia's California, Like it's

1108
00:56:44,639 --> 00:56:47,800
just like everything's there, everything he possibly wants in Ukraine.

1109
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:50,519
Speaker 2: Doing so would completely cut them off from the Swedish

1110
00:56:50,559 --> 00:56:53,840
Empire and they'd essentially be on their own. Charles of

1111
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:54,519
course was down.

1112
00:56:54,719 --> 00:56:57,360
Speaker 1: Yeah whatever that he does give a fucking.

1113
00:56:58,119 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 2: On their way to Ukraine, something called the Great Frost hits.

1114
00:57:02,639 --> 00:57:07,000
It was Europe's coldest winter in over five hundred years

1115
00:57:07,079 --> 00:57:10,480
in both seventeen oh seven and seventeen oh eight. By

1116
00:57:10,519 --> 00:57:14,519
the end of this supernatural cold, Charles loses half of his.

1117
00:57:14,599 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 1: Army just from death.

1118
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:21,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, just from the the winter he died from cold.

1119
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:22,039
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1120
00:57:22,119 --> 00:57:24,639
Speaker 2: They already were shortened supplies there were short and supplies.

1121
00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:28,159
Speaker 1: Man a Swede freezing to death is it's a cold winter.

1122
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:32,440
Speaker 2: A Swedish relief unit was intercepted by Peter. The Swedes

1123
00:57:32,679 --> 00:57:35,480
once again held their own As darkness set, both groups

1124
00:57:35,519 --> 00:57:40,199
withdrew to get rest at night. The Swedish commander of

1125
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:43,119
this relief unit decided it was best to withdraw and

1126
00:57:43,159 --> 00:57:46,039
carry the little supplies they could, as wagons were starting

1127
00:57:46,039 --> 00:57:49,840
to get stuck in the land. Part of the supplies

1128
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:54,599
were weeks worth of booze for Charles men obviously not Charles.

1129
00:57:54,679 --> 00:57:58,280
Charles doesn't drink right, but he's He's like, yeah, I'm

1130
00:57:58,320 --> 00:57:59,960
not gonna make my men unhappy.

1131
00:58:00,159 --> 00:58:02,480
Speaker 3: No, you need to move down here if morale's bad.

1132
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:07,679
Speaker 2: Also it uh will help with the winter. Yeah, he

1133
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:10,880
guys survived, uh the Titanic because.

1134
00:58:10,679 --> 00:58:12,480
Speaker 3: He was just all boozed there drank brandy.

1135
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:17,519
Speaker 2: Yeah. The relief unit figured it would be a waste

1136
00:58:17,559 --> 00:58:20,880
to leave it behind or burn the alcohol, and decided

1137
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:23,360
to partake in a few beverages before they high tail

1138
00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:27,440
out of the area and Russia attacked again. A lot

1139
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:30,480
of these soldiers get hammered and it becomes a chaotic

1140
00:58:30,599 --> 00:58:34,199
mess of a retreat, and no supplies from the caravan

1141
00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:37,400
ever make it to Charles and his men because they

1142
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:38,280
get fucked up.

1143
00:58:38,519 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 1: That's awesome.

1144
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:46,280
Speaker 2: Charles's only other hope was the Coosack leader, who ironically

1145
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:50,159
was an old Polish noble that was tarred and feathered

1146
00:58:50,639 --> 00:58:54,880
and left for dead in the Ukrainian step after sleeping

1147
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:59,079
with another Polish man's wife. You got anything to say.

1148
00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:03,119
Speaker 3: About that, Jodi, me, Not only to say about that?

1149
00:59:03,199 --> 00:59:06,039
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you know, I don't think I should have

1150
00:59:06,079 --> 00:59:07,199
been tard and feathered.

1151
00:59:07,239 --> 00:59:08,880
Speaker 3: How many wives have you slept with?

1152
00:59:10,519 --> 00:59:12,440
Speaker 1: I think that one just the one.

1153
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:15,239
Speaker 2: I'm pretty shown sleep with wives. Not a bad guy.

1154
00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:18,039
Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't say he knowingly slept with wives, but

1155
00:59:18,079 --> 00:59:19,079
there's still a number.

1156
00:59:19,280 --> 00:59:21,719
Speaker 1: Well, I mean so pre marital sex is a sin.

1157
00:59:22,639 --> 00:59:28,039
Having sex with someone's wife not a sin, correct, because

1158
00:59:28,039 --> 00:59:31,559
they're married, so she's good to go. Yeah, I think

1159
00:59:31,639 --> 00:59:34,320
I've been pretty good. Yeah, but no, just that one

1160
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:34,840
that I know of.

1161
00:59:35,119 --> 00:59:37,800
Speaker 3: You should only sleep with wives, Yeah, doesn't not be yours,

1162
00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:40,000
just you needed wives. They are the only women that

1163
00:59:40,920 --> 00:59:43,199
are legally allowed by religion to have sex.

1164
00:59:43,239 --> 00:59:44,000
Speaker 1: It makes sense to me.

1165
00:59:44,159 --> 00:59:49,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, so this guy was Ivan Mazeppa finds his way

1166
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:53,599
out to the Ukrainian step, being tired and feathered. The

1167
00:59:53,639 --> 00:59:59,480
Cossacks find him on this horse on tie him, offer

1168
00:59:59,519 --> 01:00:01,840
him the you're one of us now, yeah. They take

1169
01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:07,000
them in. He becomes part of their tribe and actually

1170
01:00:07,079 --> 01:00:12,000
just rises through their ranks until he's the leader. Years later,

1171
01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:15,800
whoa what a guy? Yeah, so he's elected leader of

1172
01:00:16,559 --> 01:00:17,800
this Ukrainian group.

1173
01:00:17,880 --> 01:00:22,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, no regrets. Look when God closes the door, he

1174
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:25,280
open his window. You think you're down, Like, He's like, man,

1175
01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:26,840
this is the worst day of my life. He's tired

1176
01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:29,760
and feathered on a horse, just wandering through the countryside,

1177
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:31,960
and then a group of hill people come out and

1178
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:32,559
they're like.

1179
01:00:32,719 --> 01:00:37,400
Speaker 1: Will you'd be our king please? He's like cool, yeah,

1180
01:00:37,719 --> 01:00:38,880
you are God.

1181
01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 2: Ivan was of course interested in independence from Peter and

1182
01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:46,119
the Russians, and Charles was desperate, and it seemed to

1183
01:00:46,119 --> 01:00:47,199
be a perfect marriage.

1184
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:50,559
Speaker 3: I mean, Charles isn't gonna keep Ukraine, you know, no,

1185
01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:51,559
not keeping it.

1186
01:00:52,719 --> 01:00:58,000
Speaker 2: In exchange for thirty thousand costs, Charles offered up protection,

1187
01:00:58,199 --> 01:01:03,400
an alliance to the Ukraine and total independence. Turns out,

1188
01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:07,800
though Ivan may have overpromised and underdelivered.

1189
01:01:07,519 --> 01:01:08,519
Speaker 3: Under the amount of men.

1190
01:01:08,599 --> 01:01:13,000
Speaker 2: Thirty you promised thirty thousand men, here's seven. He also

1191
01:01:13,119 --> 01:01:16,320
might have wildly overestimated how much power he had in

1192
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:20,199
the group. Though he was the leader, he didn't speak

1193
01:01:20,199 --> 01:01:25,719
for anyone. Only fifteen hundred troops show up. Oh, of

1194
01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:27,079
the thirty thousand.

1195
01:01:27,199 --> 01:01:28,039
Speaker 1: It's not ideal.

1196
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:31,760
Speaker 2: In fact, the other twenty eight thousand, five hundred go

1197
01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:32,199
to Peter.

1198
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:34,239
Speaker 1: No.

1199
01:01:34,559 --> 01:01:37,679
Speaker 2: Oh, so there were thirty though, Yeah, okay, yea, yeah,

1200
01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:39,760
but he doesn't control.

1201
01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:40,519
Speaker 1: He just doesn't.

1202
01:01:41,039 --> 01:01:43,960
Speaker 3: He doesn't deliver all thirty. He wasn't lying there was thirty.

1203
01:01:44,079 --> 01:01:47,840
Speaker 2: Oh. In fact, he essentially delivers thirty thousand troops to me.

1204
01:01:48,079 --> 01:01:49,639
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1205
01:01:51,440 --> 01:01:52,920
Speaker 2: I feel like that was a huge argument for the

1206
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:56,519
start of the Ukrainian Russia War. This time around, they're like, oh,

1207
01:01:56,559 --> 01:01:58,599
the Ukrainians want to be a part of Russia.

1208
01:01:58,679 --> 01:02:00,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, look it before.

1209
01:02:00,960 --> 01:02:03,360
Speaker 2: Maybe in the seventeen hundreds, but I don't know about now.

1210
01:02:03,559 --> 01:02:04,599
Speaker 1: I think they might be over it.

1211
01:02:05,039 --> 01:02:09,280
Speaker 2: As a further deterrent, Peter started to burn down Ivan's

1212
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:13,480
capital and sent rebellious Cossack bodies tied to crosses down

1213
01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:16,800
the river so Charles and Ivan could see them personally.

1214
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:21,639
So any rebels in that area. That kind of spoke

1215
01:02:21,679 --> 01:02:25,199
out or went against Peter to the great just mrks

1216
01:02:25,239 --> 01:02:26,199
them and sends their bodies on.

1217
01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:27,280
Speaker 1: You're just crossed up on a.

1218
01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:30,159
Speaker 3: I thought they were alive. I thought it was a

1219
01:02:30,159 --> 01:02:31,239
floating crucifixion.

1220
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:33,480
Speaker 2: Maybe some of them were still alive, but I don't.

1221
01:02:33,920 --> 01:02:35,559
Speaker 3: I think what's funny is you put them on there,

1222
01:02:35,599 --> 01:02:37,840
alive and float them right side up, and they're like, oh,

1223
01:02:37,920 --> 01:02:40,039
this isn't so bad, I mean, and then like but

1224
01:02:40,119 --> 01:02:42,519
the problem is like they eventually they'll flip over and

1225
01:02:42,519 --> 01:02:42,760
they're like.

1226
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:47,719
Speaker 1: Oh you hit like a little water yet rocket.

1227
01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:52,719
Speaker 2: Oh fuck. Cut off from their own country, Stuck in Ukraine,

1228
01:02:53,079 --> 01:02:57,239
virtually no supplies in artillery or men, Charles makes a

1229
01:02:57,320 --> 01:03:01,599
last ditch effort to take the city of Patalva by

1230
01:03:01,599 --> 01:03:06,280
tunneling under the fort. This was a slow and painful process.

1231
01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:08,960
Speaker 3: Who's left a dig Even at this you're just just

1232
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:12,239
like there's just like, what five thousand guys that a

1233
01:03:12,239 --> 01:03:15,239
lot that have been on the march for like two years,

1234
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:15,960
and they're like it's.

1235
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:17,719
Speaker 2: I think it's closer to like he's got like twenty

1236
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:21,280
thousand then okay, but still like he's overseeing everything and

1237
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:22,480
it's not going great.

1238
01:03:22,559 --> 01:03:24,480
Speaker 1: They're like like you just like wake up one day

1239
01:03:24,519 --> 01:03:27,400
and they're like, what's going on there with marching. You're like, dude, no.

1240
01:03:27,519 --> 01:03:29,360
Speaker 2: My man still hasn't lost the battle even.

1241
01:03:29,239 --> 01:03:31,920
Speaker 1: Worse, Like god, you wouldn't. You won't even fucking believe it. Like,

1242
01:03:32,079 --> 01:03:35,360
just tell me, man, just tell me anything. Everything's been crazy.

1243
01:03:35,519 --> 01:03:39,199
He wants us to dig a huge fucking tunnel. He's like,

1244
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:45,360
dig I barely eaten. Dig the ground is so hard.

1245
01:03:46,039 --> 01:03:52,400
Ah fuck, dude, all right, give me some fish.

1246
01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:57,000
Speaker 2: Peter gets weird and he races down to Patava with

1247
01:03:57,119 --> 01:04:04,239
a much larger and fresher force. Charles, overlooking the siege effort,

1248
01:04:05,599 --> 01:04:08,719
is struck in his heel by a stray bullet that

1249
01:04:08,800 --> 01:04:12,760
gets lodged in his big toe. So somebody at the

1250
01:04:12,760 --> 01:04:16,360
force just like firing down at the guy's digging. Hits

1251
01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:19,440
the king, Yeah, because he's he's just kind of like,

1252
01:04:19,599 --> 01:04:21,639
you know, overseeing guys digging.

1253
01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:24,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, just pointing at him and close.

1254
01:04:24,800 --> 01:04:24,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1255
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:26,840
Speaker 3: He's just like like waving his sword around.

1256
01:04:26,880 --> 01:04:28,119
Speaker 1: He's like, that's a dag good.

1257
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:31,559
Speaker 2: He's just too big of a micromanager and catches a

1258
01:04:31,559 --> 01:04:32,639
bullet in the foot for it.

1259
01:04:32,679 --> 01:04:35,519
Speaker 3: There's like a lieutenant that's like, we got it, your majesty,

1260
01:04:36,159 --> 01:04:36,800
Like they're digging.

1261
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:42,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're in charge, don't make pointing gestures in conflict. Yeah,

1262
01:04:42,519 --> 01:04:44,280
Like it's fine, go do something else. We got the

1263
01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:46,519
first person who's gonna get shot. Other guy's pointing at

1264
01:04:46,519 --> 01:04:48,559
something he's probably important.

1265
01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:52,599
Speaker 2: So he tries to walk it off and remain with

1266
01:04:52,639 --> 01:04:56,480
his men until they eventually see he's like starting to

1267
01:04:56,639 --> 01:04:58,679
just turn ghostly white.

1268
01:04:59,280 --> 01:05:01,360
Speaker 1: He loves that much blood from a foot bullet.

1269
01:05:01,880 --> 01:05:03,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, So they sit him down, take off his boot,

1270
01:05:03,679 --> 01:05:06,440
and his foot is just a total wreck. It's a

1271
01:05:06,559 --> 01:05:14,000
total unusable really, and he'd have to be carried in

1272
01:05:14,119 --> 01:05:16,119
just kind of like a little chair for the rest

1273
01:05:16,159 --> 01:05:16,840
of the campaign.

1274
01:05:18,119 --> 01:05:18,840
Speaker 1: That's pretty cool.

1275
01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:22,880
Speaker 3: He's a little Lord Fontleroy. Yeah, he's not doing his

1276
01:05:23,320 --> 01:05:25,119
not doing his cool kingshit anymore.

1277
01:05:25,719 --> 01:05:28,880
Speaker 1: He's like deploy the cavalry.

1278
01:05:31,039 --> 01:05:34,840
Speaker 2: Now. As he's getting the diagnosis. Peter and his army

1279
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:40,239
of now eighty thousand right arrive at Poltava, dwarfing Charles's

1280
01:05:40,280 --> 01:05:41,960
army of about eighteen thousand men.

1281
01:05:43,159 --> 01:05:45,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, this one might not be good.

1282
01:05:46,440 --> 01:05:51,360
Speaker 2: Charles, knowing nothing but ramming his forces head on, did

1283
01:05:51,440 --> 01:05:55,639
just that. He was like, all right, yo, let's go get.

1284
01:05:55,440 --> 01:05:59,440
Speaker 1: Me my horse, take our little speedy cannons.

1285
01:06:01,960 --> 01:06:05,000
Speaker 2: They get smashed, Peter and the Russians just absolutely wreck.

1286
01:06:06,119 --> 01:06:09,639
He finally takes an l on the battlefield. Yeah, Charles

1287
01:06:09,679 --> 01:06:13,119
makes his escape on horse after one of his commanders

1288
01:06:13,119 --> 01:06:16,280
sacrifices himself to let the king get out of dodge

1289
01:06:18,079 --> 01:06:21,159
and Charles in only about five hundred of his men

1290
01:06:21,239 --> 01:06:24,719
make it back to the Black Sea, where they try

1291
01:06:24,719 --> 01:06:26,679
to get passage into the Ottoman Empire.

1292
01:06:28,159 --> 01:06:30,559
Speaker 3: Oh, he's to go all the way around at this point,

1293
01:06:30,599 --> 01:06:32,679
there's no going back up. He has to go into

1294
01:06:32,719 --> 01:06:33,559
the Ottoman Empire.

1295
01:06:33,599 --> 01:06:37,599
Speaker 2: And then just he just wants save passage to the

1296
01:06:37,639 --> 01:06:41,719
Ottoman Empire because like Russia can't go into the Ottomans

1297
01:06:41,840 --> 01:06:43,960
right right, right territory because they just had a war.

1298
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:48,400
And he knows that, like they're not down with the Russians.

1299
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:51,280
They kind of know they know who he is. Yeah,

1300
01:06:51,320 --> 01:06:57,119
they're respectful Ottoman Empire. At least two nobles and royals.

1301
01:06:57,119 --> 01:06:59,679
Speaker 3: Oh, they won't break him on a wheel like Charles.

1302
01:07:02,599 --> 01:07:06,039
Speaker 2: The Ottoman Empire actually just rolls out their oriental rugs

1303
01:07:06,039 --> 01:07:10,000
for the king, even establishing a temporary autonomous Swedish colony

1304
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:11,599
for his five hundred men.

1305
01:07:11,840 --> 01:07:14,079
Speaker 1: Sweet hey, if you wanted the five hundred that made it,

1306
01:07:14,119 --> 01:07:14,960
you're having a good time.

1307
01:07:16,360 --> 01:07:19,039
Speaker 2: Peter then goes to the border of the Ottoman Empire

1308
01:07:19,079 --> 01:07:22,239
and demands Charles be arrested and handed over to the Russians.

1309
01:07:23,079 --> 01:07:27,960
The Sultan refuses, so Peter just went, fuck it, I'm

1310
01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:33,159
coming in. They immediately get confronted by the Ottoman army

1311
01:07:33,599 --> 01:07:40,239
and it becomes a big Holby back row standoff until

1312
01:07:40,239 --> 01:07:42,599
an agreement to let Peter and his army go back

1313
01:07:42,599 --> 01:07:46,159
to Russia without issue is agreed upon in exchange for

1314
01:07:46,280 --> 01:07:49,960
Charles being granted safe passage back to Sweden and the

1315
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:52,199
Turks getting some territorial concessions.

1316
01:07:52,840 --> 01:07:54,239
Speaker 1: What a dub for the Turks.

1317
01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:57,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, Russia just comes in into their land and they're like,

1318
01:07:57,199 --> 01:07:57,840
we don't think so.

1319
01:07:58,159 --> 01:08:00,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, here's a giant army.

1320
01:08:01,239 --> 01:08:03,679
Speaker 2: Charles is pissed and tries to get the Sultan to

1321
01:08:03,719 --> 01:08:06,960
wage war on the Russians. The Sultan tells him to

1322
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:09,440
chill out and appreciate the fact that you're gonna get

1323
01:08:09,440 --> 01:08:10,159
out of this alive.

1324
01:08:11,519 --> 01:08:14,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't go demanding shit, like come on, let's

1325
01:08:14,119 --> 01:08:14,519
fight him.

1326
01:08:14,519 --> 01:08:17,920
Speaker 3: It's like, hey, man, we got we just did that,

1327
01:08:18,199 --> 01:08:23,199
and we're like, it's like going It's like getting in

1328
01:08:23,239 --> 01:08:25,239
a drunken bar fight and then going back to the

1329
01:08:25,239 --> 01:08:27,760
hotel you're staying at and like whipping up the staff

1330
01:08:27,840 --> 01:08:28,319
to come fight.

1331
01:08:28,520 --> 01:08:33,399
Speaker 1: Well, they're staying here here, let's go fuck them up.

1332
01:08:34,239 --> 01:08:37,039
Bell boys like, sir, just go to your room, please.

1333
01:08:37,680 --> 01:08:40,439
Speaker 2: So Charles doubles down and says, you know what, I

1334
01:08:40,520 --> 01:08:41,279
live here now.

1335
01:08:41,159 --> 01:08:46,560
Speaker 1: Then, sweet, this guy fucking rules.

1336
01:08:46,560 --> 01:08:49,640
Speaker 2: It's a pretty sweet move. But I think the Sultan

1337
01:08:49,960 --> 01:08:52,479
might actually be the guy that rules. He's like, you

1338
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:56,960
know what, I'm gonna respect your wishes, arrest Charles and

1339
01:08:56,960 --> 01:08:59,399
the few remaining men and throws them in an Ottoman prison.

1340
01:08:59,399 --> 01:09:00,439
He's like, you do fear now?

1341
01:09:00,640 --> 01:09:03,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, my boy.

1342
01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:07,760
Speaker 2: So this all goes down in seventeen thirteen, and as

1343
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:14,520
this is happening, Old Augustus starts bucking and he's poking

1344
01:09:14,600 --> 01:09:18,640
his little head out, and Poland finally starts having success

1345
01:09:18,680 --> 01:09:23,640
against Swedish troops and pushes them out of pulling all together.

1346
01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:28,880
Obviously not Charles troops, different unit, but right, but Augusta

1347
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:30,640
starts to have finally half success.

1348
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:35,319
Speaker 3: They don't know their little psycho fucking lucky horseshoe anymore.

1349
01:09:35,359 --> 01:09:38,520
The command in the battles, it's just normis now.

1350
01:09:40,720 --> 01:09:45,159
Speaker 2: Eventually the Sultan allows Charles back to Sweden. He's like,

1351
01:09:45,159 --> 01:09:47,560
I don't want to deal with you anymore.

1352
01:09:47,720 --> 01:09:50,439
Speaker 3: It feels like it just get out situation.

1353
01:09:50,640 --> 01:09:50,880
Speaker 2: Yep.

1354
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:53,800
Speaker 3: And like he probably I think Charles probably overestimated how

1355
01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:57,119
somehow how much power the Sultan had at first, like

1356
01:09:57,239 --> 01:09:59,760
go you get me his calling man. But after like

1357
01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:02,920
being in jail for a little while, he's finally like, okay,

1358
01:10:03,319 --> 01:10:04,600
all right, I get it.

1359
01:10:04,840 --> 01:10:07,199
Speaker 2: Yea, I'll go. Yeah, I think it starts to hit.

1360
01:10:08,359 --> 01:10:10,880
Speaker 1: Do you think Charles ran any prison gangs while he

1361
01:10:10,960 --> 01:10:11,319
was there?

1362
01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:14,600
Speaker 2: You have to think, with like his mangled foot, yeah,

1363
01:10:14,640 --> 01:10:15,640
he's just limping.

1364
01:10:15,399 --> 01:10:18,319
Speaker 1: Along war fighting.

1365
01:10:18,479 --> 01:10:21,079
Speaker 3: Yeah, like he still needs to get some he's running

1366
01:10:21,079 --> 01:10:22,319
that prison pretty quickly.

1367
01:10:23,279 --> 01:10:26,640
Speaker 2: At this point, though, Russia, Denmark, and Poland are all

1368
01:10:26,800 --> 01:10:31,399
fully back in on their fuck Sweden mission, and even

1369
01:10:31,439 --> 01:10:34,039
England and Prussia get in on the action. They're like, ooh,

1370
01:10:35,199 --> 01:10:36,800
Sweden's down, huh, let's get some kicks.

1371
01:10:36,880 --> 01:10:40,079
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's stuff, there's stuff, let's go.

1372
01:10:41,439 --> 01:10:44,920
Speaker 2: They were at war with all of northern Europe, the

1373
01:10:44,960 --> 01:10:49,439
Swedes a shell of themselves, but Charles. Charles doesn't know

1374
01:10:49,479 --> 01:10:53,720
how to go down without swinging my man. He launches

1375
01:10:53,760 --> 01:10:58,079
a new campaign back in Denmark and they have early success,

1376
01:10:59,039 --> 01:11:02,119
but then the Norwegian navy almost wipes out the Swedish fleet.

1377
01:11:03,640 --> 01:11:06,920
This is a pivotal moment. Charles could no longer resupply

1378
01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:11,800
his troops and his forces are you know, have to

1379
01:11:11,840 --> 01:11:14,000
retreat again. And now he doesn't really have a navy.

1380
01:11:14,439 --> 01:11:15,800
Speaker 1: Does he even have a way home?

1381
01:11:15,920 --> 01:11:19,119
Speaker 2: At this point hard to say.

1382
01:11:19,199 --> 01:11:20,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, what year is this at this point?

1383
01:11:21,520 --> 01:11:27,159
Speaker 2: So this is all like seventeen fifteen, Okay, I was I.

1384
01:11:27,119 --> 01:11:30,239
Speaker 3: Was wondering if when they were fighting Prussia, if he

1385
01:11:30,279 --> 01:11:31,960
had to deal with Frederick the Great. But Frederick the

1386
01:11:32,000 --> 01:11:35,319
Great was born in seventeen fourteen. I just looked it

1387
01:11:35,359 --> 01:11:37,000
up because I wanted to see. I was like, man,

1388
01:11:37,079 --> 01:11:40,359
imagine you're fighting this war against twelve different people, and

1389
01:11:40,359 --> 01:11:42,960
then Prussia just enters with one of the greatest generals

1390
01:11:42,960 --> 01:11:43,560
of all time.

1391
01:11:44,199 --> 01:11:45,920
Speaker 2: I mean, Peter the Great snow slouch.

1392
01:11:46,399 --> 01:11:49,760
Speaker 3: He's he did, he was, he got the name the Great.

1393
01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:52,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, you get the Great. You're gonna be fine.

1394
01:11:52,079 --> 01:11:54,880
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1395
01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:59,279
Speaker 2: The Russians invaded then Swedish on Finland, and the Finnish

1396
01:11:59,359 --> 01:12:05,199
troops crushed, Charles has one more move, trying to take

1397
01:12:05,279 --> 01:12:11,479
the Norwegian city of fedder Reekston. Non'm, what the fuck it?

1398
01:12:11,479 --> 01:12:14,000
Speaker 1: Who cares? Yeah, it doesn't matter. Ifjord to rock then

1399
01:12:14,239 --> 01:12:15,000
it doesn't matter.

1400
01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:20,800
Speaker 2: But unfortunately, during the siege is where the story for

1401
01:12:21,079 --> 01:12:22,159
our sweet boy ends.

1402
01:12:23,319 --> 01:12:25,720
Speaker 1: No, yeah, this other foot get shot.

1403
01:12:25,479 --> 01:12:29,079
Speaker 2: Off, hovering out of a trench to get a look

1404
01:12:29,079 --> 01:12:33,239
at the fortress. All of a sudden, Charles laid in

1405
01:12:33,239 --> 01:12:36,520
the pool of his own blood, dead on December eleventh,

1406
01:12:36,920 --> 01:12:41,279
seventeen eighteen, at just the age of thirty six. Now

1407
01:12:41,279 --> 01:12:46,079
there are many theories. Some believe he you know, standing

1408
01:12:46,119 --> 01:12:48,000
out of the trench, just popping his head out like

1409
01:12:48,039 --> 01:12:52,239
a gopher. But many believe that maybe his own men

1410
01:12:52,319 --> 01:12:53,760
just took him out. They just had enough.

1411
01:12:53,920 --> 01:12:56,640
Speaker 1: That's where I was going next. Yeah, like dude, we

1412
01:12:56,720 --> 01:12:57,600
just want to go home.

1413
01:12:58,079 --> 01:13:00,640
Speaker 3: So they still have this is how I remember this,

1414
01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:04,159
that he was what happened happened because they still have

1415
01:13:04,239 --> 01:13:07,039
the uniform he was wearing on display.

1416
01:13:07,199 --> 01:13:09,680
Speaker 2: He's been exhumed like three times. Yeah, they've tried to

1417
01:13:09,680 --> 01:13:12,680
figure it out. They still have. You know, there are

1418
01:13:12,680 --> 01:13:13,760
no leads right now.

1419
01:13:14,279 --> 01:13:16,079
Speaker 3: This is this is literally what he died in, Like

1420
01:13:16,119 --> 01:13:17,479
you can see the mud on his cloak.

1421
01:13:17,800 --> 01:13:20,600
Speaker 1: That's insane. Yeah, that's cool.

1422
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:24,520
Speaker 2: With no kids or wife to speak of, his sister

1423
01:13:24,640 --> 01:13:28,319
is given the crown. The Russians waste no time and

1424
01:13:28,439 --> 01:13:33,920
rated Sweden from seventeen nineteen to seventeen twenty one until

1425
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:38,520
they were forced to make peace. Sweden has to see

1426
01:13:39,039 --> 01:13:42,560
all of its territory outside of Sweden and Finland. So

1427
01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:47,119
anything they gained during the sixteen hundreds early seventeen hundreds

1428
01:13:47,159 --> 01:13:50,119
and Russia becomes this kind of puts them on the map,

1429
01:13:50,239 --> 01:13:53,199
makes them a major power, and Sweden's never the same again.

1430
01:13:53,680 --> 01:13:58,479
So that is the story of the Great Northern War.

1431
01:13:58,680 --> 01:14:01,039
Speaker 3: They had a moment, and that's that's the important thing.

1432
01:14:02,159 --> 01:14:05,520
Every country had a moment. Like it's again, I know

1433
01:14:06,079 --> 01:14:08,239
we overdo college football on this and stuff like that,

1434
01:14:08,279 --> 01:14:10,279
but like you got your blue bloods who have a

1435
01:14:10,279 --> 01:14:14,119
million moments, but it's nice for the little programs to

1436
01:14:14,239 --> 01:14:17,039
have their one moment, their one and that was Sweden's one.

1437
01:14:17,119 --> 01:14:17,760
Speaker 1: Little like we.

1438
01:14:17,760 --> 01:14:20,279
Speaker 3: Finished top five one year, you know what I mean, Like.

1439
01:14:20,199 --> 01:14:22,760
Speaker 2: That was their thing two thousand and seven. Man, that

1440
01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:24,159
was we were ranked.

1441
01:14:24,279 --> 01:14:26,439
Speaker 3: We were ranked number one in two thousand and seven.

1442
01:14:27,119 --> 01:14:28,720
Speaker 1: Might say you never forget.

1443
01:14:29,600 --> 01:14:33,520
Speaker 2: I mean so many teams. Kansas was two, USF was two.

1444
01:14:33,880 --> 01:14:35,840
Speaker 3: Two, but not not one.

1445
01:14:36,079 --> 01:14:38,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, they'll always have that, rub I will.

1446
01:14:38,800 --> 01:14:41,039
Speaker 1: I will, just like I'll.

1447
01:14:40,800 --> 01:14:44,880
Speaker 2: Always have being number one in the Koli Matrix twenty seventeen,

1448
01:14:44,920 --> 01:14:45,479
twenty eighteen.

1449
01:14:45,600 --> 01:14:48,439
Speaker 3: I'm just telling you countries are like college football programs,

1450
01:14:48,439 --> 01:14:50,359
like bat there's blue bloods, and then you have your

1451
01:14:50,520 --> 01:14:53,640
your little guys who have some fun seasons every once

1452
01:14:53,680 --> 01:14:57,800
in a while. That one memorable year, and that was Sweden.

1453
01:14:57,880 --> 01:15:01,479
That was Sweden went off build that man of statue.

1454
01:15:01,520 --> 01:15:02,720
I'm sure he has several, but.

1455
01:15:03,720 --> 01:15:04,960
Speaker 1: I hope so I want to go see it.

1456
01:15:05,319 --> 01:15:07,199
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm sure he has. Like actually, let's see if he

1457
01:15:07,199 --> 01:15:11,720
has a rad statue. There's no way he doesn't. In Sweden,

1458
01:15:11,760 --> 01:15:14,720
he's got to be their most beloved king, at least retroact.

1459
01:15:14,720 --> 01:15:18,680
Speaker 2: I think his dad's pretty beloved as well. Also Young Dolph,

1460
01:15:19,199 --> 01:15:23,479
Young Dolph before him, also Gustaf. It was just a

1461
01:15:23,479 --> 01:15:25,479
good run. It was just you know, hit her after

1462
01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:28,560
hit her. They didn't miss for like one hundred and

1463
01:15:28,600 --> 01:15:29,279
fifty years.

1464
01:15:29,199 --> 01:15:31,680
Speaker 1: And then they became like the chill guys.

1465
01:15:31,920 --> 01:15:34,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, they got humbled. Yeah, and they're like, you know what,

1466
01:15:34,800 --> 01:15:37,439
why are we chasing the money and the riches?

1467
01:15:38,359 --> 01:15:38,640
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1468
01:15:38,680 --> 01:15:39,760
Speaker 2: Why are we chasing the fame?

1469
01:15:41,520 --> 01:15:42,600
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1470
01:15:42,800 --> 01:15:44,760
Speaker 3: They went so far as to I think they were

1471
01:15:45,760 --> 01:15:49,520
people forget this because people think about other countries. But

1472
01:15:50,439 --> 01:15:55,439
Sweden was neutral in World War Two the whole time, right, yep, yeah, yep.

1473
01:15:55,880 --> 01:15:58,880
Speaker 2: They learned their lesson that. Yeah. Yeah, they're like, oh,

1474
01:15:58,880 --> 01:16:01,359
I'm not gonna choose this. We get kind of boned.

1475
01:16:01,439 --> 01:16:03,479
Speaker 3: You're doing this war where you fight everybody.

1476
01:16:04,159 --> 01:16:07,479
Speaker 1: We've done that.

1477
01:16:07,640 --> 01:16:08,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not sweet.

1478
01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:09,439
Speaker 1: Been there.

1479
01:16:09,640 --> 01:16:14,199
Speaker 3: Started with invading Poland. Yeah, we've done that. I just oh,

1480
01:16:14,239 --> 01:16:16,479
and then you're gonna march on mosque. We've done that.

1481
01:16:17,199 --> 01:16:19,840
We've done it. I don't recommend it.

1482
01:16:21,159 --> 01:16:25,399
Speaker 2: If only the Germans knew this Swedish history, I right, like,

1483
01:16:25,680 --> 01:16:26,960
what's another turn?

1484
01:16:27,079 --> 01:16:31,279
Speaker 3: Differently, lunatic obsessed with the military who invaded Poland and

1485
01:16:31,279 --> 01:16:31,840
then marched on.

1486
01:16:31,920 --> 01:16:33,760
Speaker 2: To be fair, they got attacked first, so.

1487
01:16:34,039 --> 01:16:35,840
Speaker 1: Oh they were the victim. You know who else thought

1488
01:16:35,840 --> 01:16:38,159
they were the victim? The Nazis?

1489
01:16:38,520 --> 01:16:40,439
Speaker 2: Oh, I thought you're going to say another country that

1490
01:16:40,840 --> 01:16:44,560
is a little bit you know, more applicable for today.

1491
01:16:44,720 --> 01:16:48,600
What Russia who's like, no, no, it's another we won't

1492
01:16:48,600 --> 01:16:50,079
say it thought, don't want to get demonetized.

1493
01:16:50,840 --> 01:16:54,039
Speaker 3: Oh oh that is another one, certainly, yep, although there

1494
01:16:54,119 --> 01:16:57,239
is a very clear situation there. Uh, say whatever you

1495
01:16:57,239 --> 01:16:59,520
want about what happened afterwards. But I mean they had

1496
01:16:59,520 --> 01:17:03,119
a point where they were like where they were like, hey,

1497
01:17:03,159 --> 01:17:06,680
they did that, so we're gonna do this. Sweden same, Yeah,

1498
01:17:06,720 --> 01:17:09,319
Sweden was at tack tooo but like, yeah, the Nazis were.

1499
01:17:09,199 --> 01:17:11,960
Speaker 1: Like, we're victims, but you gotta like swain it.

1500
01:17:12,079 --> 01:17:13,520
Speaker 2: Sweden had their October seventh.

1501
01:17:13,680 --> 01:17:17,640
Speaker 3: Yeah they did the Nazis. The Nazis were just like, well,

1502
01:17:17,680 --> 01:17:20,359
I mean, they weren't wrong that Germany got asked fucked

1503
01:17:20,359 --> 01:17:24,520
by the Treaty of Versailles. And then somehow Hitler was

1504
01:17:24,600 --> 01:17:26,800
like and the Jews wrote it or.

1505
01:17:26,760 --> 01:17:31,039
Speaker 1: Something like jew we gotta be upset at someone or something,

1506
01:17:31,079 --> 01:17:32,319
so yeah, we might as well.

1507
01:17:33,680 --> 01:17:35,119
Speaker 2: Who's today's Hitler speaking of.

1508
01:17:40,560 --> 01:17:46,239
Speaker 3: Honestly, Charlie twelve's pretty sweet, but he made his own luck,

1509
01:17:46,279 --> 01:17:47,279
both good and bad.

1510
01:17:47,319 --> 01:17:51,000
Speaker 2: It sounds like, so, I mean, there's a clear answer here, Peter.

1511
01:17:51,800 --> 01:17:54,479
I was gonna say the Danes bro they lose wars

1512
01:17:54,479 --> 01:17:55,760
in a week all the time that.

1513
01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:59,279
Speaker 1: Ah fuck yeah, good point, they stink it war. That's

1514
01:17:59,319 --> 01:18:01,640
not there. That's not even the Hitler though, that's like

1515
01:18:02,119 --> 01:18:07,720
who's today is France? Like it's just pathetic.

1516
01:18:10,520 --> 01:18:12,239
Speaker 3: I don't know, man, Charlie got a lot of people

1517
01:18:12,319 --> 01:18:15,199
killed because he was just a fucking It's one of

1518
01:18:15,239 --> 01:18:17,560
those things where it's like Teddy Roosevelt, like you said earlier,

1519
01:18:17,600 --> 01:18:20,640
where they're sweet to hear about from a distance, but

1520
01:18:20,800 --> 01:18:23,039
up close when you're dealing with them every day, whether

1521
01:18:23,079 --> 01:18:25,520
you're in the court or one of their soldiers, at

1522
01:18:25,520 --> 01:18:27,880
some point you got to be like, like to your point,

1523
01:18:27,920 --> 01:18:31,319
you're like, we don't actually know who shot him. Like

1524
01:18:31,960 --> 01:18:33,039
at some point you're just.

1525
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:37,279
Speaker 1: Like, I can't take this anymore. I have had my

1526
01:18:37,479 --> 01:18:41,760
feel of this fucking guy. It makes more sense that

1527
01:18:41,840 --> 01:18:43,000
he got killed by his own guys.

1528
01:18:43,079 --> 01:18:47,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like again like just because we're bros here,

1529
01:18:49,159 --> 01:18:51,800
you know, like the libros, the lot, I mean, like

1530
01:18:51,840 --> 01:18:57,000
we're dudes. Yeah, we're not that close. Yeah, uh, we're

1531
01:18:57,039 --> 01:18:59,880
like the law. Like at first, like a screaming angry

1532
01:19:00,079 --> 01:19:02,800
coach like motivates guys, but eventually the locker room gets

1533
01:19:02,800 --> 01:19:05,399
tired of his bullshit. Yeah, you know, what I mean,

1534
01:19:05,399 --> 01:19:07,800
probably the same way in the military, where like some

1535
01:19:08,039 --> 01:19:11,520
officer or NCO might be a hard ass and like

1536
01:19:11,560 --> 01:19:15,119
get everyone like good to go at first, but eventually,

1537
01:19:15,199 --> 01:19:18,640
like once you're in shape, you're like he doesn't change

1538
01:19:18,680 --> 01:19:20,800
his ways, you know what I mean, And he's still

1539
01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:23,720
on you, like you're all fucking slobs, and you're like,

1540
01:19:24,880 --> 01:19:25,560
fuck off.

1541
01:19:25,640 --> 01:19:27,560
Speaker 1: Those are the guys you hated the most, right, dude,

1542
01:19:27,560 --> 01:19:32,119
We're all really good at what we're doing. Yeah, fucking relax. Yeah, yeah,

1543
01:19:32,920 --> 01:19:35,159
you don't got to be on all the time. Yeah,

1544
01:19:35,199 --> 01:19:39,840
we're literally doing nothing all day, and like we're going

1545
01:19:39,880 --> 01:19:43,239
to a shipping container removing everything in there and then

1546
01:19:43,279 --> 01:19:45,880
putting it back in. You don't got to yell at us,

1547
01:19:46,239 --> 01:19:47,319
like we're gonna do it.

1548
01:19:47,520 --> 01:19:51,239
Speaker 3: How how many times did you get yelled at for

1549
01:19:51,359 --> 01:19:52,119
mowing a lawn?

1550
01:19:52,119 --> 01:19:56,279
Speaker 1: Wrong? Never actually never mowed a lawn really? Yeah? Yeah,

1551
01:19:56,359 --> 01:19:58,119
I was good enough to not do the dumb things

1552
01:19:58,159 --> 01:20:01,600
like that. Okay, like the guys that mop the rain

1553
01:20:02,039 --> 01:20:05,079
when it's outside, Like I was never dumb or bad

1554
01:20:05,199 --> 01:20:07,479
enough to do that. I didn't make guys do that

1555
01:20:07,479 --> 01:20:10,439
because that was funny. But what was your final rank?

1556
01:20:11,239 --> 01:20:13,039
E four? So I get a specialist. But I was

1557
01:20:13,079 --> 01:20:15,560
a team leader. Okay, so usually team leaders are reserved

1558
01:20:15,560 --> 01:20:18,840
for sergeants, so like a E five. Yeah, but I

1559
01:20:18,880 --> 01:20:21,199
was like good enough, like skilled enough to where they're

1560
01:20:21,479 --> 01:20:23,880
you know what, Lopez, you take a fire team. So

1561
01:20:23,920 --> 01:20:25,960
the fire team's like four of us, And so I

1562
01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:28,159
was in charge of a team and that gave me

1563
01:20:28,239 --> 01:20:32,239
like some sort of holding over like other guys that

1564
01:20:32,319 --> 01:20:34,279
aren't in even in my squad. Yeah, I'm still a

1565
01:20:34,319 --> 01:20:36,079
team leader, so I can make other dudes do things

1566
01:20:36,119 --> 01:20:38,880
if I had to, But I didn't do a whole

1567
01:20:38,880 --> 01:20:40,880
lot of really dumb things or punishments.

1568
01:20:41,560 --> 01:20:45,640
Speaker 2: Now, one of the appeals I have taken away from

1569
01:20:45,720 --> 01:20:49,520
TV and film of being Special Forces is you don't

1570
01:20:49,560 --> 01:20:51,319
have to shave and you can kind of have whatever

1571
01:20:51,359 --> 01:20:52,000
hair you want.

1572
01:20:52,239 --> 01:20:53,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, is that true?

1573
01:20:53,199 --> 01:20:56,600
Speaker 2: Could you rock what you currently what you currently have

1574
01:20:56,720 --> 01:20:57,039
right now?

1575
01:20:57,119 --> 01:20:59,399
Speaker 1: Yeah? I've seen some dudes if you were have here

1576
01:20:59,520 --> 01:21:02,680
like this seals not as long. I don't think I

1577
01:21:02,720 --> 01:21:05,359
have seen them with relatively long hair, like it kind

1578
01:21:05,359 --> 01:21:09,239
of touches the shoulders a little bit. Delta Guy's same thing.

1579
01:21:09,840 --> 01:21:12,760
All of them have beards. But my hair was so

1580
01:21:12,840 --> 01:21:16,680
long up top that it did touch my nose. Uh.

1581
01:21:16,920 --> 01:21:18,560
It's like that because I was like, hey, what are

1582
01:21:18,600 --> 01:21:23,000
you gonna do? Kick me out? And the regulation I

1583
01:21:23,079 --> 01:21:25,399
used to have the whole article memorized of like AR

1584
01:21:25,439 --> 01:21:28,960
six seventy dash one, Chapter three, paragraph two, Section A,

1585
01:21:29,720 --> 01:21:32,000
and I would state what it said when people called

1586
01:21:32,000 --> 01:21:34,600
me out for it. Yeah, and nothing said the length

1587
01:21:34,640 --> 01:21:36,239
has to be a certain length. It has to be

1588
01:21:36,279 --> 01:21:38,840
like neat and groomed, and the back of your hair

1589
01:21:38,920 --> 01:21:41,039
can't touch the collar of her uniform, so.

1590
01:21:41,079 --> 01:21:41,800
Speaker 3: Any other part.

1591
01:21:42,079 --> 01:21:43,600
Speaker 1: And so for like a year and a half, I

1592
01:21:43,800 --> 01:21:46,760
just got a loafade and let the top just go

1593
01:21:47,239 --> 01:21:50,840
my Actually, my captain called me the menindaz brother nice.

1594
01:21:50,920 --> 01:21:53,279
That's how long my hair was up top nice. And

1595
01:21:53,319 --> 01:21:55,399
I'm like, yeah, what are you gonna do? He's like nothing.

1596
01:21:55,840 --> 01:21:57,439
I'm like, yeah, exactly, dude.

1597
01:21:58,359 --> 01:21:59,600
Speaker 2: What did you guys learn today?

1598
01:22:01,000 --> 01:22:03,359
Speaker 3: Pretty much all of this. The only thing I knew

1599
01:22:03,399 --> 01:22:06,000
about him, and I didn't remember it was him until

1600
01:22:06,000 --> 01:22:08,720
halfway through the episode, was that he got clipped in battle.

1601
01:22:10,159 --> 01:22:11,520
Speaker 1: Yeah. I learned that me and him have a lot

1602
01:22:11,560 --> 01:22:17,560
in common. He ruled and his pre ruling days of

1603
01:22:17,760 --> 01:22:20,960
like no women, just training and stuff. That was kind

1604
01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:22,159
of me in high school.

1605
01:22:23,039 --> 01:22:27,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, training education, you know, get the ladies out of here.

1606
01:22:27,760 --> 01:22:29,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what else time for him? When he

1607
01:22:29,520 --> 01:22:30,279
got time for war?

1608
01:22:30,520 --> 01:22:33,920
Speaker 3: You know what else I learned today what old Charlie

1609
01:22:33,960 --> 01:22:39,520
never learned. Logistics are for professionals.

1610
01:22:39,560 --> 01:22:42,359
Speaker 2: Where do you think he maps on the little chart

1611
01:22:42,399 --> 01:22:42,920
we had.

1612
01:22:44,479 --> 01:22:46,960
Speaker 3: Top twenty bro he won a lot of battles, and

1613
01:22:47,000 --> 01:22:48,880
he won a lot of battles at long odds, and

1614
01:22:48,920 --> 01:22:52,680
that chart is specifically So this was the thing about

1615
01:22:52,680 --> 01:22:54,640
that chart that we talked about on the Patreon patrion

1616
01:22:54,680 --> 01:22:59,720
dot Comsolar software history is that it only measured tactical success.

1617
01:23:00,119 --> 01:23:03,920
So like General Sherman didn't rank that high. I mean

1618
01:23:03,960 --> 01:23:06,199
he was positive, like he was in the positive wins

1619
01:23:06,199 --> 01:23:09,159
above replacement, but he didn't rank super high because his

1620
01:23:09,159 --> 01:23:12,159
biggest success was a strategic move. It wasn't like a

1621
01:23:12,159 --> 01:23:19,760
specific on battlefield situation. And actually, hilariously, uh, I think

1622
01:23:19,840 --> 01:23:23,199
the worst or one of the worst rated generals was

1623
01:23:23,239 --> 01:23:27,920
Georgeorge Washington. He was negative nine wins above replacement.

1624
01:23:27,359 --> 01:23:29,199
Speaker 1: Because he was technically just losing a bunch.

1625
01:23:29,319 --> 01:23:34,520
Speaker 3: He lost battles constantly, but it was strategically Yeah, he

1626
01:23:35,039 --> 01:23:37,840
knew what he had to do strategically, which is I

1627
01:23:37,960 --> 01:23:42,960
live I live here, Yeah, I live here. Bro keep coming. Yeah,

1628
01:23:42,960 --> 01:23:45,439
we joked that George Washington is just ho chi minh. Yeah,

1629
01:23:45,520 --> 01:23:46,800
like it's the same fucking thing.

1630
01:23:47,720 --> 01:23:48,159
Speaker 1: That's great.

1631
01:23:48,560 --> 01:23:51,640
Speaker 2: I bet Charlie ranks pretty high.

1632
01:23:51,800 --> 01:23:54,359
Speaker 3: Which the battles won? And how many battles did you

1633
01:23:54,399 --> 01:23:55,520
say he was in? Like five or six?

1634
01:23:55,560 --> 01:23:56,479
Speaker 1: At least a ton?

1635
01:23:56,600 --> 01:23:57,399
Speaker 2: I think more than that.

1636
01:23:57,520 --> 01:23:59,159
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, we'll look it up after.

1637
01:23:59,319 --> 01:24:01,239
Speaker 3: I'm actually gonna crack my laptop and look it up

1638
01:24:01,279 --> 01:24:03,680
immediately because I am curious.

1639
01:24:03,880 --> 01:24:07,079
Speaker 2: I can't believe you only got shot twice. Yeah, once

1640
01:24:07,119 --> 01:24:10,680
in the foot and once he got domed. But yeah,

1641
01:24:11,239 --> 01:24:13,119
it was our episode for today. Check out our picture

1642
01:24:13,159 --> 01:24:14,680
on that, as we said earlier picture on dot com

1643
01:24:14,720 --> 01:24:19,640
slash softcore History. Two additional episodes of Drop every Wednesday

1644
01:24:19,680 --> 01:24:22,359
and Friday for the five dollars tier. We're doing a

1645
01:24:22,359 --> 01:24:24,159
sports show on the twenty dollars tiers, just as like

1646
01:24:24,199 --> 01:24:28,600
an extra along with additional content for all the people

1647
01:24:28,600 --> 01:24:32,399
that are supporting us that way in such a big manner.

1648
01:24:32,880 --> 01:24:36,279
We love you guys for everything. Thank you for listening, Scott,

1649
01:24:37,000 --> 01:24:38,199
thanks for coming to my house.

1650
01:24:38,640 --> 01:24:40,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks for the invite. It's a great spot.

1651
01:24:41,119 --> 01:24:41,840
Speaker 2: It's not bad, right.

1652
01:24:41,920 --> 01:24:44,720
Speaker 1: I love being a couch bro. I prefer the couch.

1653
01:24:45,359 --> 01:24:46,560
Genuinely prefer the couch.

1654
01:24:48,039 --> 01:24:49,159
Speaker 2: Where can the good people find you?

1655
01:24:49,199 --> 01:24:53,439
Speaker 1: Scott Yeah, Instagram, last ro Lopez and that's about it.

1656
01:24:53,880 --> 01:24:55,039
Thanks guys, Sweet

1657
01:24:56,439 --> 01:25:00,640
Speaker 2: Scott Lopez, rough Fox, I'm damn jest and he just

1658
01:25:00,680 --> 01:25:01,800
got soft serruved