Speaker 1: The Amison and This show written by Joe Connolly, Bob
Moser and Bob Ross, featuring Ernestine Wade, Johnny Lee, Amanda Randolph, Roy,
Glenn Corney Anderson, Zelda Cleaver, Jeff Alexander's Music Yours, Trulie
Hallow Wilcox, and starring radio's all time favorites Freemon Gosden
and Charles Carrell amos Landy. The subject of romance came
up twice at the home of George Kingfish Stephens and
his wife's Sapphire. The first time was after supper last
Wednesday night. George and Sapphire hadn't been out of the
house in over a month, and when Sapphire came into
the living room and found the Kingfish with his nose
in the paper, she decided to do a little hinting.
Speaker 2: When be your dad, jeez.
Speaker 1: Oh, what in the world is that? Joe y'all was singing, singing,
I ain't here Greechian like that. Since I was over
the zoo and the moose sat down on the porcupine,
I was only well the next time you were hitting
hint on key, Lena, get back in the news basis the.
Speaker 3: Paper, Georgie, if you ever watched the Young Wilson's that
lives across the hall. Well, every night mister Wilson takes
Miss Wilson out dancing, or he takes.
Speaker 4: Ms Wilson to the movies, all he takes Ms Wilson
out to dinner.
Speaker 5: Why don't you do something like that?
Speaker 1: Well, I would, honey, but mister Wilson might once be
in the noise.
Speaker 3: Josh Stevens were both married to the wrong person and
the romantic type, and you as the type that stays
home with you know it's in the newspaper.
Speaker 1: Well, I admitted that I know Peter lawful, But.
Speaker 3: Judge, you just don't understand me. I want to be
day and vivacious.
Speaker 5: I want to live. I want roman Oh, Judge, I
want to run.
Speaker 3: Through the night with the wind and the rain in
my head.
Speaker 1: Well, you go ahead. When you get back, I'll be
waiting here with a hot water bottle and.
Speaker 6: Some fol.
Speaker 1: And The second time last week that romance centered the
apartment of George and Sapphire was when Herbert Jackson, a
magazine solicitor, rang the Stephens doorbell.
Speaker 7: Hmm, if there's nobody home, Well, I'll just flip the
slamp of copy under the door. There we are one
copy of Forbidden Romances?
Speaker 2: Hi Kingfish, what you're doing down here the large halls world?
Speaker 1: Well then there, let me lock the door here. Now
look and what I've done, Uh well, I won't tell you.
Look what I have found up at the apartment.
Speaker 2: Look at that magazine there, Look at that Forbidden Romances.
I think at your age, I was more the popular
mechanics stype. I found this here magazine on the living
room floor. Don't you see what a mean soulf I
it's been reading this stuff. There ain't nothing wrong with that,
just a lot of gushy nonsense.
Speaker 1: I know, Andy, But is the implication of the thing.
She reading love stories? And after all, you don't buy
a road map unless you going somewhere and there, Nate.
She was hollering about how she needs romance.
Speaker 8: Let me see that thinking.
Speaker 1: And look at it and kind of stuff she can
relook at there? Look right there, I found my heart
on a two weeks cruise.
Speaker 8: Let's see here.
Speaker 2: Hernandos stood close to me on the deck, whispering words
of romance into my ear as we watched the shimmering
moonlight dancing on before me. Wake of our cruise ship.
The soft tropical moon had a strange odor about it.
Speaker 1: That's all, are you?
Speaker 2: I should feel my heartbeat above the throbbing of the engines.
Suddenly I felt her nandos arms steal around my shoulder.
With a gasp, I pulled myself from his embrace and
ran from the deck to my cabin.
Speaker 8: There ain't nothing there, kingfish. He's gonna run away from
the fella.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, Anna, but look over on the next page.
There's back on the poop deck again.
Speaker 2: Look at it. Well, I don't think sapphire gonna be
interrested in no other man, and hurries. Ain't no other
man gonna be interested in the Sapphire.
Speaker 8: I mean, oh, I don't know, Anna.
Speaker 1: You know how it is with fun of you, some
fellas going fantiques. The fire might be just moldy enough
to peel of some of them boys.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but this is silly, king fidg. After all Sapphires
got you.
Speaker 1: Well, then I can't pin too much hopes on that.
I done took stock of myself this morning, you did? Yeah?
When I got up this morning, I took a long
look at myself in the mirror. I tell you Enna,
with my skin to pay and my bloodshot eyes, and
with my tagging jarles and that water on my Adam's apples.
I realized that I wasn't zackly no ding dong daddy.
Speaker 2: If I'm doing much, Yeah, well, what you do about
the situation gave rig But.
Speaker 1: Then I gotta do something with self. I'm reading these magazines.
You never know what this can lead to. If it's romance,
he's after, I gonna bring romance into a lafe. I'm
gonna be gay, I gonna be charming. I gonna be
the romantic tape the self I'm looking for you.
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, and it's.
Speaker 1: A new deal from billion. I gonna shower her with affection.
I gonna shower her with love and understand it. I
gonna shower her with romance.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you better go easier, that kingfish. You're gonna
end up with a waterlogged wife.
Speaker 8: Let's listen to it.
Speaker 9: Number by the four Nights.
Speaker 10: You need no wings to be an angel. You promifize
the things you do, And speaking of.
Speaker 6: It, I never knew one quite like you.
Speaker 10: You need a gold halo around you and no magic
wand to trash the fell And speaking of you leave
it so well.
Speaker 1: And speaking of music waves while.
Speaker 10: I give it in your sir, and speaking of moonlight
sprinkle with God, I see it in your who Well
was my darling, but an angel.
Speaker 6: Could make the earth so heavenly.
Speaker 10: And speaking of.
Speaker 6: It, that's what you want to me?
Speaker 10: Tell me who was my tongues?
Speaker 6: Buddy? Angel?
Speaker 8: Could ma see art all heavenly?
Speaker 10: And speaking of the Joe, that's what you are to me.
Speaker 6: But that's what you.
Speaker 1: Come on boys, walking me down to my apartment. Yeah,
King fees he Shore has doll up there, new suit
fower in your buttonhole and that night folk here flowers
you can down.
Speaker 8: Yeah, you show smell fragrance to Kithley.
Speaker 1: Well, tell you else. I was shaved. I had the
barber to put everything in the shop on me. I
tell you boys, I got stints on me that won't
come to the surface. For deals, King Pee Staffire looking
for romance, you show us the part all right? Oh yeah, boys,
I've been reading all the love stuff out of folks
for good room man. Yeah, learning how to be the
romantic type. I tell you I'm gonna walk in there
like Hernando and throw romance out of from seven different directors.
Speaker 8: Just what you're gonna do, Kateley, Well, I.
Speaker 1: Gonna open the front door right quick and go down
on one knee and hold out the flowers and say lovely.
Speaker 8: Flowers for lovely Yeah.
Speaker 2: I see him do that in the ballet one. And
after that the gal took a snip of the roses.
Then the fellow took a snip of the roses. Next
thing I know, the gal jumped twenty feet in the
air and he started rolling around. I always wondered what
they put in them roses.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't think these twelve four quarter of roses
is the jumping kind. Yeah, your apartment King's peas, and
good luck to you with your Yeah, I really hope
you sweep off your feet. Well, thank you boy, thank
you very much, dear letter. Oh well, romance your spellers everywhere. Hmm,
I hear somebody in the living room stat fires in there.
Speaker 8: Well, here go.
Speaker 1: It, lovely fowls, Paul, lovely lady. Well a fine condition
for you to come calling on Mama, Mama, is you
where's my sweet dinners romantic wife?
Speaker 4: She's in the kitchen, clean the fish.
Speaker 6: Well, Well, come on, jump on your feet.
Speaker 1: You want to leave there?
Speaker 6: All evening.
Speaker 1: No, Oh, Mama, my back, my back, my ruma tells
him I can't rule. Come on here, help me, Oh
great man's.
Speaker 8: And pop this saddle again.
Speaker 1: Well, lovely dinner, my love. May I see that you
never look more rady and beautiful.
Speaker 8: Than you does tonight? Charge your foods kitting cold fancy
fish jonn.
Speaker 1: Here, here's mamma, honey. We'll make this high night, and
after this charming dinner we'll go dancing, dancing like two
young lovers. But tain please, here is mom, I've heard
the next You'll be like two gay spirits Walton in
the wonderland of romance. I will dance till dawn on
a pink cloud, on a pink cloud of hoarse radish coma.
Will you be good enough to close your big fairs
while I being homnic here, Mama, don't say.
Speaker 5: No attention to George. You go ahead and finish your
dim Well.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna finish my dinner too, But while I eat here,
I gonna close my ears to these harsh words.
Speaker 10: Why do you better close your mouth?
Speaker 5: Suits stealing gravy all over your bed?
Speaker 1: Oh what a beautiful and perfect heaven there dancing with
you again, my darling, Joy.
Speaker 3: Don't you think me a little.
Speaker 1: Too over this type of music? Oh not at all, honey,
This is the music of romance. Humber one two see
Humber one two?
Speaker 5: See what two?
Speaker 1: Three? What do?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 1: My back? Oh, my back? I don't sniff my desk again.
Speaker 6: Help hell.
Speaker 2: Now, I'll just sit there in that comfortable chair, King
Pas and take it easily.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, easy, Yeah. I got over the bed
about an hour going. I managed to hobble down here
to the large horse.
Speaker 8: Yeah. So that romantic evening didn't go off too well.
Speaker 1: No, and the three of the winners carried me out
at the knight club on the table slow and I
come home in the backseat of a tactic cab double
up like a jack knife. And I wound up spending
the moons and channing part of the evening with a
chiropractice into my back.
Speaker 8: Oh just just yet. Oh the back is really bothering you.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Now, look Anna, there's nearly lunchtime.
Speaker 8: Here, give me a hand here.
Speaker 1: Kind of hit me back to my apartment, will you.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I'll do that.
Speaker 2: Well, Kingfish, I guess you just ain't the romantic type
like Hernando with yeah, no sense.
Speaker 1: Of me trying to please YOURSELFI yes, Soufi are gonna
have to go through lads getting the room manser. The
magazine's like Forbidden romancewers. But in spite of that, I
know she's gonna stick with me.
Speaker 2: Well, Kingfish, then you convinced Sapphire that she ain't looking
for no hernando like the gall on the cruise ship.
Speaker 1: That is no. And when you get to be Sopphire's age,
your poop deck dairs is over.
Speaker 5: Boy, Why I want you to sit down?
Speaker 7: Want to Jackson? Thank you?
Speaker 3: I'm sorry I didn't get that sample copy of your magazine.
Speaker 7: Well that's funny. I slid it under your door yesterday.
Probably no matter.
Speaker 3: Well, mister Jackson, I don't think I been arrested in
a magazine like Forbidden Romances.
Speaker 7: After all, Stephens, I would appreciate you listening to me.
I have a wife and two children.
Speaker 1: Oh, I see, missus Stephens.
Speaker 7: It's a wonderful magazine. I just can't tell you highly
enough on our magazine Forbidden Romances. And with our introductory offer,
you're getting this wonderful magazine for the entire year for
only two dollars and a half missus Stephens.
Speaker 1: I tell you, thank you Nis for helping me ailt
the back way here. Yeah, he's back just as easy
in the front way. Eh, just get through the kitchen,
Ye pass up. Wonderful Wait a minute, Wait a minute,
sound like tough. I talking to somebody in the living room. Yeah,
sounds like a man's voice too. Yeah. I try to
do and see who's here? Probably just a bill collector.
Speaker 7: But how can you turn me down? Think of what
I'm offering you love romance, adventure.
Speaker 2: If that's a bill collector, Hernando must be working for
the gas company.
Speaker 8: And he listens to this love talk.
Speaker 11: You give her a shouldn't Well, it just sounds interesting.
Speaker 7: My dear lady, you look like a woman who wants
to rise above the humdrum. Think what I'm offering you
a chance to sail into the blue, a chance to
rise into the clouds, a chance to fly far above
the commonplace.
Speaker 8: Sound like he's trying to talk her and to run
away the airplane.
Speaker 5: Man, You still make it sound interesting.
Speaker 1: And listen to it, and they can only see the barrel.
Speaker 8: Look at it.
Speaker 7: I implored you don't turn down this wonderful opportunity, A
chance to follow in the footstepths of the young and heart,
a chance to sad the pathways of happiness.
Speaker 8: Now it sounds like you're going to settle for a
walk in the park.
Speaker 3: Well you're very perspisive. Don't let me think it over.
Speaker 5: Why don't you come back tomorrow?
Speaker 7: Well, very well, missus Stevens. But I know what her
answer is going to.
Speaker 8: Be pretty sure of itself. Any that doesn't and that
does it. I was leaving that woman for good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she didn't say she was going to abscondrel.
Speaker 8: Off with him.
Speaker 1: Well I don't care, and my own wife is sitting
there listening to a lot of much talk like that.
We are too andy. She was looking for romance after ah,
But Kingfisher, nothing's doing and nothing doing. I was leaving
that woman and taking my slip disc with me.
Speaker 2: Well, King Fisher, has been two weeks since you left zapphae.
Speaker 8: He Ain't you never going back to her?
Speaker 1: No, sander, no sigh or not. I'm never going back
to that woman. Let her fine room man said you
want to. That's why I was going in here to
see all conquin Jay Calhoun, I gonna change my will.
Speaker 8: I don't change it.
Speaker 1: I gonna cut her off altogether.
Speaker 2: You're gonna unbneficiary gal huh.
Speaker 1: Come on, let's get on in here.
Speaker 8: Okay, how did that?
Speaker 1: Calhoun?
Speaker 8: Hello Calhoun?
Speaker 1: Hey Calhoun? Is your business? Is our business? How could
you come in here and ask me? Is our business?
Speaker 4: A man who has thought out by the biggest businessman
in this city, A man who is consulted by some
of the biggest political leaders in this community. A man
who did uential films numb out.
Speaker 1: Into hundred with all them connections. You think I'll keep
doing something?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, Calhoun, the Kingfish want to see you about
something important to what's up Kings?
Speaker 1: Then, now, Calhoun, I gonna live right before you here, boy, Calhoun,
listened to this all I has done, that's my wife,
and well I has got some worldly possessions. And what
I want to know is can I change my will
and leave everything to myself?
Speaker 11: Well?
Speaker 1: That can be a rain good. So you're done left
Southire Huh.
Speaker 4: Look, don't you miss her after twenty two years?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Well, to tell you, the two buyers been pretty
lonesome in the past few weeks. I just gotta get
out doing make some new friends and get some new interest.
That's what I gotta do well for Billow Like you.
Speaker 10: Kingfish, the best way to make new friends is you.
Speaker 1: Want of them. Get acquainted club. Yeah yeah, you don't
hit on something there, you're a quainted club. Does you
know any good ones? Tell who's well? Yeah, there's a
very high time.
Speaker 4: Club that's run by Missing with his song Dike.
Speaker 1: It's over all the park with you.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I don't hear about that one. It's real
high class. Yeah, you gotta be interviewed and everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. I going over to
that thing date, get a queened club. I'll make a
new life for myself.
Speaker 8: Yeah, that's the.
Speaker 1: Thing to do, all right, King Vis, you don't call
who you was lucky never getting into his domestic squabble?
How come you never got married?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Gall since you'll never have no gallant nothing.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, boys, I had.
Speaker 7: A good one.
Speaker 1: That is years ago.
Speaker 6: Year ago.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'll tell you boys, I worked at the Crowns.
You walked on. I wanted to ask you breathe. I
wanted to marry something that toned down on him?
Speaker 8: That was then?
Speaker 1: How come you never married her? I couldn't stand her.
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 1: Fast. It's been two weeks since he walked out on you.
Speaker 3: Oh mama's life. What he had, Donna saying like this own,
something's going on the way he was acting, bringing your flowers,
taking your stands in me, I should have known something.
Speaker 10: Was in the wind.
Speaker 5: What do you mean, Mama?
Speaker 4: Well, I never told you this, but now that's how
it started with your father.
Speaker 1: He came roll from the armice.
Speaker 3: One night and kissed me for the first time in
twenty years. Next morning, when I went out to start
the car, the motor blew up. Oh Mama, what am
I gonna do?
Speaker 11: Roll?
Speaker 10: Daughter, You just can't sit around here and move.
Speaker 11: You have got to make new friends and new companions.
Speaker 10: I've been thinking it over. Daughter, I'm very serious.
Speaker 4: You is going to enroll in the Fernsdyke Get Acquainted club.
Speaker 3: My Mama, I can't do nothing like that. Boy. Yes
you can, Yes you can, daughter, Well, I tell you
we'll both go down there and road.
Speaker 10: It'll be all wonderful thing for you doing.
Speaker 11: You've been married old Paully for twenty two years.
Speaker 3: High time you mess some human feels?
Speaker 1: Well, man, this is to get acquainted club, they say.
The way here, missus thorn Day goes interview men a minute.
Nice for you to come down here and give me
the mortal support.
Speaker 8: Oh this done.
Speaker 2: Message, I oh, here come somebody.
Speaker 8: Well, how do you do?
Speaker 12: I'm mister Thorndyke. You wished to see me about joining
our get acquainted club.
Speaker 2: Well, just this other judgment here is I don't need
no club. I does most of my getting acquainted in
front of the drug store.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I as the one that would like to get acquainted. Judge.
Speaker 12: Oh, I understand you meet a member of the opposite fact.
Speaker 1: Well, he will want to see I want to get acquaintance.
But then I do. I mean that is a few of.
Speaker 8: Our is the social stuff.
Speaker 12: It's our practice to introduce people with compatible interests.
Speaker 1: For instance.
Speaker 12: For instance, we might start off by introducing you to
some of our male members, men who have the same
cultural tastes and ideas as you had.
Speaker 2: Well, now wait a minute, mister, you got him wrong.
He didn't come down here to meet no bumps.
Speaker 1: Don't pay no attention to my friend here, Melissa. Well,
we'll be.
Speaker 12: Glad to help you, but first you'll have to be
thoroughly interviewed before you can qualify as a member.
Speaker 8: I does huh.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 12: Well, for instance, if a new member is interested in marriage,
we must be interviewed by our chichiast and after several
days of intense study, we picked from among our members
one whom we think would be socially, mentally, and psychologically
suited to the new ma. In other words, one who
is exactly their tight.
Speaker 8: This is tougher. And when I try to get my
dog in the Kimmer Club.
Speaker 1: Tell you I ain't interested in marriage, but I would
like to meet someone who is the perfect type for me,
just to see what life might have been with the
right girl.
Speaker 12: Well, now, to save any future embarrassment, when we introduce
members of our club, we always make it a practice
for them to conceal themselves under a pseudonym.
Speaker 1: Well, I ain't got one of them, but I could
hold my head over my prid.
Speaker 12: No, no, no, What I mean is we have our
members use different names. Now, is there any particular name
you would like to be known under here at the club?
Speaker 5: Name?
Speaker 1: Yeah, here at the club, you can just call me Hernando.
How do you do?
Speaker 11: How is this fan guy? You want to see me
bout joining? I get acquainted club.
Speaker 3: Yes, I came down here as my mother, I'd like
to meet that is I. Well, you see the thing is.
Speaker 11: I understand very well, missus season.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm not interested in marriage, but I would like
to make some new friends and meet somebody who has
the same interests I have.
Speaker 11: Well, before we introduce you here at the club, we
make positive it will be the right person. You'd both
be subjected to tests and physcological interviews. In other words,
we bring together two people who would be ideally suited.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, well it would be interesting to me somebody
who is just the right type for me.
Speaker 11: Well, we'll talk about that as our next interview. By
the way, on the way out, would you send the
next person in?
Speaker 6: Please?
Speaker 1: How does it look?
Speaker 8: Oh boy, you look great?
Speaker 1: Kings King visus you're going through with this crazy thing?
Is you really gonna meet this? Get a queened gal?
This evening curtain? Now I have amos by find me
was mismitted? Now the club as scientifically pick out the
person who would have been perfect me for me. This
person I gonna meet her had all kinds of tests too,
were the kind of what the ideally suited for each other?
Speaker 2: Yeah, there ain't no harm in just meeting the person. Uh,
you say, you're gonna meet her in the park.
Speaker 1: Yeah, seven o'clock to night. He's gonna be looking for
me under the name of Hernando, And I was gonna
be looking for her under the name of Juliet earless
almost seven o'clock. Juliet. Ought to be here any minute, Juliet,
Where he is you at Las? I gonna meet the
person who is ideal It student to me. Wait a minute,
there comes somebody. Oh, I better, Juliet, Juliet, here I
is come to me.
Speaker 13: Attest you, Juliet, God, Dave, Mama, Oh.
Speaker 1: Be sure to be with us again next week at
the same time, and we will again present radio's all
time favorite Amos and n This is Wendall Nile
Speaker 9: Saying good night to all of you from all of us.