Speaker 1: And I present to you my predictions of the twoenty
twenty five Houston Texans hit the Music Ross matt Sunday,
September the seventh, the Texans will be in Los Angeles
take on the Rams. Angle actually in the Inglewood and
ROSSI Matthew Stafford. I know he's staying in Los Angeles,
but he only can throw at forty percent. His arm
strength is significantly down, and Demante Adams is so old
he'll be out there in a wheelchair. Christian Kirk is
going to make his LA debut a success. Seven catches,
eighty four yards in a touchdown. Wow. Texans beat the
Rams twenty one to ten. Okay, Matthew Stafford throws multiple
picks in the game that secondary are one oh. Monday Night,
September fifteenth, the Liberty Wideout game. The Buccaneers are coming in.
The Buccaneers don't ever play well in the first half
of the season. They always get better, just like Baker
Mayfield does. But guess what, The Texans will catch him
at the right time. Will Anderson will sack Buddy Buddy
uh Baker Mayfield three times in a twenty seven seventeen
Texans went over the Buccaneers Okay two and zero Baby
LFG Week three, Sunday, September twenty first, Texans go to
Jacksonville for a noon game. The Jaguars don't even know
where they're playing because they're hardly playing in Jacksonville anymore.
They're always going overseas for one race or the other.
They're lost. Trevor Lawrence gets a haircut before the game,
really shaves his head. Uh no, it's a it's a
cu cut if you will. Okay. He's obviously disjointed by that.
He misses his free flowing locks. Wow. He actually tries
to run for a first down and gives up the football.
It is scooped up by here, give by Jalen Peatree
runs to the head. Texans two defensive touchdowns. Win it.
Twenty eight sixteen Okay three and zero. Sunday, September the
twenty eighth. The Tennessee Titans are in Wow. The number
one pick in this draft cam Ward not playing in
the game. What happened? He gets concussed the week before?
Oh man, So will levis He's still a Texa Titan? Right? Yeah?
I think so. Thomas Sports Enterprises no longer bullish on him.
Because tennant, because he will throw three amazing interceptions, one
will be returned for a pickstick six by Derek Stingley.
Kimy Febrin hits four field goals in the game, one
of which is at least fifty five yards. These are
wildly specific predictions. Well that's what I'm here for. Again.
Nobody else in the marketplace is doing this, so I
gotta do it. Texans beat the Titans thirty one eleven.
It's really an odd score. They get a safety safety
the bat safety o'clock. Then Sunday, October the fifth, we
go week because of course, I'm of the two of
the Texans in Baltimore gonna take on the ravens Lamar
Jackson two costly fumbles, one in the red zone late
as they try to drive. Texans hold on for Dear
Life twenty six twenty three, Wow, in a rainstorm Bible set.
It'll be raining in Baltimore pict weather as well. Yes,
nobody in the marketplace is doing this. Monday, October the twentieth,
the Texans get a week off. Fifteen days later they'll
be going to Seattle to take on the Seahawks. Who's
the Seahawks quarterback? Now Sam Darnold, Oh my god, he
will be sacked five times. There will be the twelfth
man up there, and we won't hear a pete from them.
This will be the most dominant road victory for the
Texans this season. The Seahawks may only score two field
goals in the game. Meanwhile, a pair of right pushing
touchdowns from who would be the who would be the
backup to the backup of the backup? Uh? Oh, you
know what, we'll give you to the Joe Mixon. Okay,
Joe Mixon rushes for one hundred and fourteen yards and
two touchdowns. That you're gonna go Darry ogunbow twenty seven
to six. They beat Seattle. Eighty percent of the crowd
leaves by the fourth quarter because it's too late. They
gotta go to work the next day. Then, Sunday, October
twenty sixth, the San Francisco Fort Anders are gonna air in.
Who's their big expensive tight end, George Kittle? George Kittle?
How many weeks are we in? Too many? We're gonna
hurry here quickly. You know what. George Kittle cracks an
ankle in the game. Oh my god. Jaxon's win by
two scores. Finally, Denver Broncos are in town. Denver. Sean
Payton is a grumpy the entire time. Really, yes, okay,
I got Nicks. Bo Nix throws for Bow doesn't know football,
both throws for one hundred and four teen yards and two.
I n t'sow. Texans get another four field goal game
from Kymie Fairbird. He's very busy this year. I think
I've counted forty seven interceptions for the Texans defense. So
it's going to be never one of the NFL. Texans
win that one over the Denver Broncos. Who cares Jacksonville
Jaguars at home? Easy ps win at Tennessee will be
thirty five thousand people there, easy drunk one of having
relations with their husband in the private suite at halftime.
Really yeah, it's gonna be ugly and there'll be video
of it. Very becoming of an NFL owner. Josh Allen
hates playing in Buffalo in Houston. We saw that last year.
If you'll repeat itself, Texans beat the Buffalo Bills, they
will be at that point eleven and zero. It's the
game so boring. Michael's falls asleep in the fourth quarter
and he wants more pictures of himself during the course
of the presentation. Then you go to Indianapolis, Texans. What
are they doing Indianapolis? Every year they win, so history
repeat itself there. That's got to be at least a
two touchdown win. Sunday, December the seventh, primetime Sunday Night
Football at Kansas City. It's a tough one. Not tough,
are you kidding me? The Texans playing in Kansas City.
First halfs they will not blow a twenty three point lead,
and they will win the game by three on a
last second touchdown reception Nico Collins back left corner of
the end zone, fourteen seconds left. Texans come from behind
and win the game. That prison that puts them at
fourteen and oh, Arizona home. Can you even name five cardinals?
I can't? Fifteen? And oh the Las Vegas Reed is
former Seahawk quarterback now running things there. He doesn't know
a city he's in. He can't believe is in Las Vegas.
They're throwing dice on the sideline. Texans win by two touchdowns.
Geno Smith doesn't even finish the game because of boredom.
Then the seventeenth week, back to Los Angeles to take
on the Chargers. The crowd will be eighty percent Texans fans. Anyway,
sixty thousand Texans fans will make their way to Los Angeles.
They'll go to sixteen and oh when they beat the
Chargers at so five, Yeah, suck at Jonathan Allen and
then the Colts and the Texans. As the Texans try
to go for a seventeen and oh season yet again,
they will do so oh damn. S's like, we got
to put this team game on because we want to
see the Texans go to seventeen and oh. They arrest
their starters having clinched the number one seeds. At this point,
they taste seventeen and oh, they taste home field. Throughout
the AFC playoffs. Richardson will rush for sixty four yards
in the first half at running back. Is he's still
playing QB at this point, he's running for his life
and as is Eyeshire Ear will forearm shiver him to
the face. He won't play the second half. Texans beat
the Colts by three touchdowns. So, wow, Jonathan and Ross,
I present to you a seventeen and oh Texans season. Unbelievable.
That's what I'm talking about unbelievable. Nobody else in the
marketplace will do that. I just did it. Wow your
thoughts and the Texans going seventeen and oh since no
one in Houston Ross is talking about the Texans NFL
schedule and the predictions we hear at Sports Talk seven,
I need to do it for you. Twelve thirty five.
Bras you ready, no, quickly, I can do this a
lot faster. So somebody to speed up on a week's time. Actually,
all right? Matthew Stafford three h nine and two scores
Rams the Texans in Week one. Oh god, it's a
Ram victory. I will say, twenty seven to seventeen Rams tough.
Number two Texans home for the Monday night game against
Tampa Bay. They get out to a fast lead, but
Baker Mayfield throws three touchdowns in the second half. He
is the comeback kid. Twenty seven to twenty four Bucks
beat the Texans. That's tough. Texans open up the year
at oh to two. Jacksonville, Week three. Trevor Lawrence hasn't
cut his hair since training camp. Really, he's got a
main of the uniform. You can grab that. He's got
a huge main going. He also runs for a touchdown
on the fourth quarter, Alsi's Asha ear gets called for
a personal foul for a horse collar, setting up a
first in goalt to one quarterback sneaks it in. They
also win twenty seven to twenty four. Oh wow, geez,
Texans tough on. Oh heartbreaker. Cam Ward comes in in
week four. Dang rushes for one hundred, throws for one
hundred and seventeen twenty to seventeen. Titans beat the Texans
their own four. That's a tight one there. Ross What
always happens to the Texans when they go to Baltimore.
We don't even need to talk about this. Lay Henry
just got a new deal. Dereck Henry two touchdowns, Lamar
Jackson four passing touchdowns, forty to fourteen blowout in Baltimore. Oh,
come on, Texans go to Seattle in week number seven.
Cal can't find a ESPN Plus under any circumstance. Yes
he can, it's on his xbox. No, he can't find it.
Hannah's yelling at him, saying, come with me to the game.
He goes, He goes, No, I want, I want to
watch it on the money. I got the ESPN app
on his PS five there's no doubt in my mind.
Big day for Seattle. Five field goals eighteen to six.
The game's got nothing but field goals in it. Seven
field goals in the two teams. By the way, constant
rain in Seattle for that Monday night game. Well, of course,
so the Texans are owing six, then you've got Kittle.
George Kittle's gonna catch. You know, the Texans can't cover
tight ends never three touchdowns by himself three Well play
amNY fantasy team that week rock Party two forty nine,
rock Port Party three. In those three touchdowns all to
George Kittle, It's a twenty four to twenty win. Oh
is this fascerrating? One ozh six point two uh niners win.
Texans are owned seven. Genos Man comes in, not eloquent,
throws a couple of picks. They're actually thinking about replacing it,
replacing him late in the game. But he puts together
a massive drive with one forty nine on the clock
and no timeouts, eighty five yard drive, Phil goal wins
it for Denver thirty to twenty seven. Texan's still looking
for their first win. There is genals Smith doing on Denver.
There was a trade who's the quarterback a Denver now
Bo Nicks? Oh? Nicks was Jeters Smith in Vegas? I'm
getting getting teams. Who's in Seattle? Uh? Who Seattle's quarterback? Now?
Oh it's uh Uh? I said it to you. Donald.
There we go at least mixed up. I didn't mentioned
Donald's name by the name that I and not yet? Okay, well,
then shut up? Owen eight of the Texans. Jacksonville comes in.
Every time the Jaguars and Texans play. It's a coin flipper. C. J.
Stroud throws a pick six late in the game twenty fourteen.
Come on, man, Jacksonville with the win. This is hater,
Matt tanas Owen nine not good. Texans always go to
Nashville when the orders. When the Tennessee Titans are run
the order arms the Titans have given that up. It
will make a difference. Derrick Henry not there. But who's
the running back for the Titans now Tony Pollard. Two
scores late within the last five minutes, a fumble Nico
Collins tries again an extra Aready keep a drive alive
in Coughs football up Tennessee's short position in the red zone.
Tennessee wins twenty seven twenty. That's tough scenes. Josh Allen
was embarrassed by the last time he was in Houston.
You won't be embarrassed this time. Three sixty eight and
four scores. Oh my gosh, Thursday thirty one thirteen Buffalo
at the win Man. That's flight on a Thursday. That
puts the Texans at on eleven. That's is there heat
on Dimico Ryans at this point? Anthony Richardson throws for
two to nine. Okay, now you're loing Rose two scores,
runs for two twenty eight seventeen. Texans lose at Indianapolis.
There Owen twe throws for two nine two. He goes
four for twenty throwing and he throws for two oh
nine with big four big bombs. ROSSI, what did the
Texans do when they go to Kansas City each and
every year? They get their ass? Whoop? Still go and
give the final score to that one for US twenty
three to sixteen Ohn thirteen. Kyler Murray is playing for
his next contract. He's running around like a Toddler. Run
off with your food. C J. Strong gets food poisoning
before the game and cannot play. Really, honey, Mills is
he's still in the ross. Toney Mills throws for one
to seventy five and two picks Arizona with the upset
twenty one to ten Ohn fourteen. Gosh, this is rough
Gino Smith and the eightes. It's a three twenty five game.
Cal doesn't know that he's been there since ten o'clock.
He thinks it's a noon game. Okay, so the coaching
staff they're they're way too early. Fatigue sets in big
comeback for the Raiders in the second half. They score
fourteen in the fourth quarter and win twenty one seventeen wow,
oh and fifteen. That is a big comeback. Chargers make
up for last year's wild card loss in Los Angeles.
Herbert the truth, the truth. It's the truth that he
threw four interceptions in that playoff game. Justin now, go
Chargas go. Arnold Schwarzenegger bangs the drum before kickoff. Herbert
throws for three on nine and three scores. Doesn't know
a pick three on nine. I didn't stutterr three on nine.
Chargers win it. Oh. I can't believe this. Thirty one
to seven. Wow. Wow, that's a massive beatdown. I would
to day all right, Indianapolis Week number seventeen, money meals
gets to start again because CJ wants to rest to
get ready for next season. It's kind of an odd one, No,
I get it. I mean they're owing sixteen. Nico Collins
also suffering with a hamstring injury. This team is beset
by injuries. The Colts and Texans have nothing to play for.
Anthony Richardson starts the game, doesn't finish it, but still
runs for two scores in a seventeen to seven Colts
win at NRG. Hannah then says, we're moving out of
this stadium so we can't win here anymore. We need
a new facility in Fort Bink County, Texans. In the
year zero and seventeen, there are devastating There are issues
about the new offensive coordinator. Nick Cerio's gotta be gone.
Cereo's in trouble, Demiico's in trouble, and Hannah can't get
her stadium in Fort Bink County. It is a miserable, down,
trotten year for the Houston Texans NFL franchise. Jeez, So
there you have it, oh and seventeen, and my deepest
sympathies to those of you that are decent, normal NFL
Texans fans. Not Darley, not better Red, Bob, not deep
still Dan, what about Bettle Red Ross I've long forgotten
about him. Let's go Texans. I got eleven and six.
First glance over under. By the way, Vegas recalibrate is
nine and a half. Okay, that's a slight under from
last year. Correct. I think it was a nine and
a half or was it ten and a half? Last
it was nine and a half because you lost a bet. Yeah,
that's fine, all right, fans, I just told you your
squad is going on seventeen this year. Any reaction whatsoever
seven one three two one two five seven ninety seven
one three two one two five seven niney if you
want to react to what I think is going to
be a down trotten here for the local football team.
Oh and seventeen. Are you willing to come to grips
with that