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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to the two seventeen Recovery Broadcast.

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<v Speaker 2>If you don't make mistakes, you won't learn with your host,

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<v Speaker 2>Corey Winfield.

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<v Speaker 1>And that goes to uneducated people, you know, and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not calling them dumbs, and they're uneducated about addiction and

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<v Speaker 1>how it works. And I was too, you know, back

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<v Speaker 1>in the day, I was a drunk and uneducated going, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>look at that guy. I was uneducated. But the more

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<v Speaker 1>we can educate people, and I think it starts with

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<v Speaker 1>the youth, the more we educate the youth and get

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<v Speaker 1>them like understanding there, like look, this is what it

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<v Speaker 1>looks with how it works.

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<v Speaker 2>Got your ass.

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<v Speaker 1>It is the fifth of September twenty twenty four. My

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<v Speaker 1>name is Cory Winfield. That this is the two seventeen

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<v Speaker 1>Recovery podcast, and I have a special guest during me today,

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<v Speaker 1>Robert Hardin. And Robert we don't have to live miserable

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<v Speaker 1>long past. Yes, I figured it's been and I don't

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<v Speaker 1>even know, a couple of years, probably a.

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<v Speaker 2>Couple of years. Yeah. I was telling my friend Michelle

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<v Speaker 2>that it's been a couple of years since I've been

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<v Speaker 2>on your show, and it's really good to chat with you.

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<v Speaker 2>So much has happened. I mean, just I just I

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<v Speaker 2>have to turn down just opportunity after opportunity because it

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<v Speaker 2>just creates hecticics in my schedule. And so I'm very

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<v Speaker 2>particular on the spots that I choose. I try to

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<v Speaker 2>keep busy with my podcast, do some speaking out of state,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, and I'm involved with this organization seeing if

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<v Speaker 2>I want to swim in the deep end of the pool.

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<v Speaker 2>They're called Caine to Believe, which is an organization that

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<v Speaker 2>was founded by Clarence Snyder, who was one of the

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<v Speaker 2>sponsores of doctor Bob Smith, and so Clarence at one

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<v Speaker 2>time was the longest sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous, and

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<v Speaker 2>back in nineteen sixty six he wrote a companion book

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<v Speaker 2>called Came to Believe, which incorporates the twelve Steps of

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<v Speaker 2>recovery as they're written on the wall as the foundation.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's a faith based organization, similar to Celebrate Recovery

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<v Speaker 2>or Reformers Unanimous or a church based program. However, those

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<v Speaker 2>programs which I shy away from, put the Bible before

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<v Speaker 2>the twelve steps. In other words, they feel you need

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<v Speaker 2>salvation and salvation will lead to recovery. What I call

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<v Speaker 2>that bullshit, you know. Sobriety leads to everything you know,

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<v Speaker 2>and you can be a person based on your particular

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<v Speaker 2>spiritual path. You can be a person you know, on

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<v Speaker 2>your way to Nirvana or heaven or whatever you're going

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<v Speaker 2>to call it. And you're drunk, what have you done?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, you've denied every human on the planet to

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<v Speaker 2>secure an ear heavenly position. And I call that selface

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<v Speaker 2>and self centeredness. And so this organization, I'm starting to

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<v Speaker 2>get involved with them, and they're sending me are they're

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<v Speaker 2>actually signed in agreement with Salvation Army to be in

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<v Speaker 2>one hundred and twenty of their arcs across the country

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<v Speaker 2>to develop a program of treatment and recovery. And so

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<v Speaker 2>it's very interesting to see how this thing unfolds.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and that's interesting the Salvation Army, because what I

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<v Speaker 1>know of the Salvation Army, at least here in Michigan.

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<v Speaker 1>You go there and you fold close and then you

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<v Speaker 1>go to an AA meeting. Hey, yeah, it's better than

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<v Speaker 1>sleeping in the woods. It's better than sleeping in a ditch.

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<v Speaker 1>But they pay them like twenty five cents. Now, I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, this is this is what I've heard

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<v Speaker 1>and maybe this has changed. But the last time we've

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<v Speaker 1>like taken somebody to Salvation Army I'm using air quotes

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<v Speaker 1>here to treatment, there was a really treatment. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>it was more like a home, calmeless thing that they

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<v Speaker 1>just hey, full these clothes, something to do, will feed

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<v Speaker 1>you at an AA meeting.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, there's a nine month program. So and and

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<v Speaker 2>they're they're they're they're a Christ centered organization who knows

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<v Speaker 2>nothing about recovery.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and you know, and.

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<v Speaker 2>So they're graduating these people at three six and nine months,

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<v Speaker 2>sending them back on the street. But they have no

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<v Speaker 2>Twelve Step foundation. There's nothing to them, and they're going

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<v Speaker 2>to relapse. I mean that's what people like you and

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<v Speaker 2>me do. You know, without a firm foundation of what

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<v Speaker 2>the twelve Steps do in terms of how they allow

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<v Speaker 2>us to reclaim and revolutionize and reinvent ourselves as an individual.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, what have you done? You haven't done anything.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, you might, you might get them closer to

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<v Speaker 2>God in a way, but if you're if you're not

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<v Speaker 2>getting them closer to their wife, to their children, to

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<v Speaker 2>their job, to their mom and their dad there or

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<v Speaker 2>what the hell have you? What have you done?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, yeah, and that's like saying, oh, if you're

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<v Speaker 1>a Christian, then you won't be you won't have a problem.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, if you're a Muslim, you want have a

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<v Speaker 1>problem because you'll have some kind of religion, you'll have

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<v Speaker 1>some kind of thing, and that's not the case. I

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<v Speaker 1>was listening to the Rico twelve.

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<v Speaker 2>Podcast that yeah, might be justin yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>That's that's a cool thing that you guys got going

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<v Speaker 1>on there, the asket Basket and they were they were

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<v Speaker 1>talking about the atheist. It was like, hey, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>believe in God. And my answer is kind of very

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<v Speaker 1>similar to yours because my wife and I were like driving,

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<v Speaker 1>well she was actually writing, I was driving, and my

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<v Speaker 1>thing was, well, how many more excuses you got in there?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, like yeah, because you can have excuse, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't believe in God, so well I'm not going

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<v Speaker 1>to go to AA or like pump the brakes. There's

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<v Speaker 1>fifty thousand different ways you can recover. I use a podcast,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like some I mean, there's different ways you

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<v Speaker 1>can do it. But like if that's what you're throwing

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<v Speaker 1>out as excuses already, just stop, you know, because first,

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<v Speaker 1>like you said, you know, just just stop, like, let's

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<v Speaker 1>just get clean and you can worry about who you

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<v Speaker 1>believe in and all that stuff later, you know, and

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<v Speaker 1>trust me that you know, I believe in a god.

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<v Speaker 1>It might not be the same as yours, but you

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<v Speaker 1>know that it doesn't matter, you know, when you're talking

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<v Speaker 1>about recovery and living in a life in recovery, and

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<v Speaker 1>you guys mentioned too, it's different, you know than being abstinent,

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<v Speaker 1>than being just well, i'm sober today, you know, like

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<v Speaker 1>I tried that. I just didn't drink for a while.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you know, and I never did more meth until

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<v Speaker 2>I was in the choir loft at Cavina, First Baptist

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<v Speaker 2>church Man. That's when I really got into meth and

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<v Speaker 2>smoking crack. I mean, just you know, i'd be hitting

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<v Speaker 2>a pipe at seven o'clock on a Sunday morning being

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<v Speaker 2>the choir loft. By nine, you know, and just I

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<v Speaker 2>remember barring the choir director's car and I almost drove

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<v Speaker 2>it off a cliff. I was so drunk I threw

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<v Speaker 2>up in the car. I don't think I ever loaned

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<v Speaker 2>that car again. And I was a good choir member.

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<v Speaker 2>I was a really good Baptist, you know. On my

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<v Speaker 2>way to hell drunk.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh man.

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<v Speaker 2>But you know when I tell people all the time,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I don't care who you're hiring. One of

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<v Speaker 2>my sponsees has a higher power who is a Greek

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<v Speaker 2>goddess called Gaeis, and she's the goddess of something. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know. All I know is this dude is happy,

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<v Speaker 2>joys and free. I don't know anything about his higher power,

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<v Speaker 2>and I could care less. I just cared that he's happy,

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<v Speaker 2>joyson free. That's all I care about. If he's happy,

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<v Speaker 2>joys and free. You know, your higher power can be

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<v Speaker 2>anything but anything except a doorknob or a coffee cup.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm going to say, yeah, go ahead.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't believe in the doorknobh oh.

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<v Speaker 2>Hell no, I don't believe in anything that requires me

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<v Speaker 2>to give it purpose. Yeah. The doorknob only works when

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<v Speaker 2>I work the doorknob. Most of the time, God's working me.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not working God.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you just got to shut up and get out

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<v Speaker 1>of the way. Sometimes. And I was explaining to this

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<v Speaker 1>guy the to day. He came in and we have

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<v Speaker 1>these two seventeen recovery coins that we give out and

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<v Speaker 1>it has our website on the back and it has

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<v Speaker 1>fun and recovery.

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<v Speaker 2>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>It kind of remind people like, look, if you're down,

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<v Speaker 1>pull out that coin and go to our website, listen

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<v Speaker 1>to a podcast, watch one of our stupid videos, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>like just get a laugh, you know, just break that.

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<v Speaker 1>Anything to break that like desire to go use or whatever.

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<v Speaker 1>And the guys like, well, I only have I don't

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<v Speaker 1>need a coin. I only have two weeks. And I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, I had two weeks once. I had two

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<v Speaker 1>weeks a lot of times actually, but the last time

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<v Speaker 1>I had two weeks was back in twenty eighteen, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>and I just put some more behind it, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>But I was like, dude, like seriously, like you know,

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<v Speaker 1>and I kind of went through the whole process of

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<v Speaker 1>it all. And it is a process. You know. You

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<v Speaker 1>can't just wake up when they'm like, hmm, I'm an

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<v Speaker 1>addict and I'm just not going to do it anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, maybe you can't work that way. It just

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<v Speaker 1>didn't work that way for me. I mean maybe there's

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<v Speaker 1>a guy or two out there that maybe that did

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<v Speaker 1>work for But it is a process. It is, at

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<v Speaker 1>least for me, because I wanted to try it my way.

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<v Speaker 1>Every little fricking way I could until finally I just

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<v Speaker 1>threw my hands up and said that's enough. I'll just

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<v Speaker 1>listen to everybody else and do it a different way,

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<v Speaker 1>because having a plan that in five years I'll get

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<v Speaker 1>a radio gig in California, nobody will know and I'll

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<v Speaker 1>be able to drink again. Yeah, that's a lie. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>telling myself a lie, you know. And it's my brain

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<v Speaker 1>telling me that. You know, my soul wants this new life.

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<v Speaker 1>My soul wants this, this whole creation. You know. I

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<v Speaker 1>want a family, I want a wife, I want a kid,

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<v Speaker 1>I want all that stuff. But my brain's telling me, nah,

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<v Speaker 1>that is what you need to do.

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<v Speaker 2>That's the ego, you know what. You know the ego's

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<v Speaker 2>number one purposes. Are you ready? The ego's number one

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<v Speaker 2>purpose and function is to convince me it doesn't exist.

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<v Speaker 2>Isn't that crazy?

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<v Speaker 1>It is?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, my ego says, I'm not here, I'm not real.

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<v Speaker 2>By the way, I think you're the greatest person on

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<v Speaker 2>the planet. I say, I agree, you know, I agree

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<v Speaker 2>with something. That is purpose is to convince me it's

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<v Speaker 2>not real and to convince me that I'm better than

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<v Speaker 2>I really am.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, no flaw.

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<v Speaker 2>I've been sober fourteen thousand and thirteen days. I think

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<v Speaker 2>that's it. I think that's the number. And you know

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<v Speaker 2>the difference between me and the newcomer is I've been

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<v Speaker 2>doing it longer, you know. I don't. There's no extra

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<v Speaker 2>information and I get you know. I was talking to

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<v Speaker 2>a friend the other day and she was talking about

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<v Speaker 2>fourteen thousand, thirteen days and she was saying, gosh, you

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<v Speaker 2>know so much, and I said, well, I know so

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<v Speaker 2>much because I've read it over and over and over

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<v Speaker 2>and over again, you know. And that's what we do,

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<v Speaker 2>just repetition. There's only twelve steps in the program, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>and steps one, two, three are surrender. Steps four through

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<v Speaker 2>nine are recovery steps, and ten, eleven, and twelve are

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<v Speaker 2>continuation steps. And when we understand that, then we can,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, get to a place, get to a place

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<v Speaker 2>that's really not a place but a journey. And I,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I never want to be cured. I never.

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<v Speaker 2>I never. Could you imagine could you imagine Corey waking

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<v Speaker 2>up tomorrow and realizing we're done. I don't. There's not

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<v Speaker 2>a drink in the world, there's not a feeling in

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<v Speaker 2>the world that could be better then the feeling I'll

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<v Speaker 2>get tomorrow when I realized I've been given another day

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<v Speaker 2>to be a better version of me.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's crazy, and the world needs people like us,

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<v Speaker 1>And that's not my ego. I'm just saying, like people

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<v Speaker 1>they can deliver this message of it can happen and

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<v Speaker 1>the proof that good things are happening still in our lives,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, Like that's what I mean, Like we need

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<v Speaker 1>to carry that message. And there are people out there

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<v Speaker 1>that say, you know, I was told when I started

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<v Speaker 1>the podcast and I was in sober living, we went

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<v Speaker 1>to this meeting in Charlevoie and then the guy was

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<v Speaker 1>all irritated that was running the meeting because one of

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<v Speaker 1>his recoveries was in the newspaper talking about all how

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<v Speaker 1>he was sober for a year or something, maybe it

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<v Speaker 1>was two years. Whatever. Well then he went out and relapsed,

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<v Speaker 1>and so he came in and he was so pissed

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<v Speaker 1>and he's like, you know what, if you don't have

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<v Speaker 1>five years, you need to just shut your mouth. And

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<v Speaker 1>he looked right at me. You know, I mean, the

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<v Speaker 1>other guys started this podcast, and I'm like, is he

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<v Speaker 1>talking to us? Like I can't work that way, like

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<v Speaker 1>I have to put it out there that I'm in recovery.

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<v Speaker 1>And when I did, because when on the radio, like

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<v Speaker 1>I would hide it. You know, I was the rock

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<v Speaker 1>jack man. We're supposed to be out partying, doing coke,

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<v Speaker 1>smoking weed, getting drunk. My studio is supposed to smell

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<v Speaker 1>like beer, you know, and so to be like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I have a drinking problem. You know, I couldn't really

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<v Speaker 1>do that. And then I'm like, oh, I'll lose my

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<v Speaker 1>job and I'm in a program director role. I'm in

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<v Speaker 1>two different markets, like I really can't do that. I

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<v Speaker 1>was afraid. And when I started the podcast it was

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<v Speaker 1>so freeing. It was like kicking the doors off and

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, I'm not hiding it anymore, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>like boom, I'm in recovery. You know a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>people will say, oh, I'm an alcoholic, and okay, call

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<v Speaker 1>yourself whatever you want to me. That's a negative term.

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<v Speaker 1>And I don't wake up in the morning and go, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a piece of shit today. I'm gonna absolutely do nothing.

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<v Speaker 2>No.

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<v Speaker 1>I wake up and I'm like, all right, cool, I

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<v Speaker 1>might take a shit, but you know, then I'll take

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<v Speaker 1>a shower, I'll get to work, and yeah, it'll be

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<v Speaker 1>on my list of things. And I'm gonna accomplish today

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<v Speaker 1>because I'm gonna get some stuff done. I'm gonna help

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<v Speaker 1>some people today. And to never know who's walking through

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<v Speaker 1>our doors each day is kind of interesting. And what

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<v Speaker 1>kind of things you're gonna hear or what just simple

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<v Speaker 1>things you could say that they're gonna come back in

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<v Speaker 1>two years and be like, man, when you told me that,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I'm like, oh, really, just about the jelly jar,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like okay, like all right, but that's the

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<v Speaker 1>beauty of it, man, And it's so amazing. And since

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<v Speaker 1>we last talked, I think I was married when we

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<v Speaker 1>talked last time. Yes, but I had a baby boy

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<v Speaker 1>a few months ago in May, little little son, and

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<v Speaker 1>we thought that was not gonna happen.

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<v Speaker 2>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like, Okay, well if it happens, it happens. Boom,

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<v Speaker 1>here you go. Cute little boy. He's healthy. Uh, he's

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<v Speaker 1>got the dimples like his daddy. You know, he's gonna

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<v Speaker 1>be he's gonna be a little charmer. Women are always like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh my gosh, his eyelashes are so long. I'm like, yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's just like all these blessings just keep coming. And

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<v Speaker 1>to be able to open a recovery community center, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>is amazing. Our organization two seventeen Recovery is a recovery

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<v Speaker 1>community organization through faces and voices of recovery, and we

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<v Speaker 1>get to employ people in recovery. We have five employees,

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<v Speaker 1>and that may not sound like a lot, but it

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<v Speaker 1>is when you're paying taxes on them. Oh my god, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>tell you that. I didn't know any of that stuff

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<v Speaker 1>was happening. But yeah, So to be able to employ

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<v Speaker 1>these people, whether I pay taxes on them or not,

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<v Speaker 1>which we do, it is just an amazing thing. One

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<v Speaker 1>of our guys I met at a vape shop and

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<v Speaker 1>he worked there, and I come in there wearing my

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<v Speaker 1>two seventeen Recovery podcast sweatshirt, and I'd seen him before,

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<v Speaker 1>but it was like the third time I went in there,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was debating on buying a new vape, and

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<v Speaker 1>I was explaining to him, well, my wife did just

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<v Speaker 1>get her hair done again, you know, like I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>she's spending money on herself. I can spend money to

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<v Speaker 1>you know, kill myself with the vaping, I guess. And

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<v Speaker 1>so I got the new vape and I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>well that I do want to save up for a

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<v Speaker 1>new camera because we're starting to film a lot more things.

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<v Speaker 1>And he's like, what do you do? What do you film?

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<v Speaker 1>And I told him. I was like, well, we're filmed

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<v Speaker 1>people telling their recovery stories. And he just kind of

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<v Speaker 1>looked at me and had this hesitant look in his face,

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<v Speaker 1>and then he said, yeah, I'm in recovery too, and

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<v Speaker 1>I said, well, good, good for you, you know, And we

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<v Speaker 1>started this conversation about being in recovery and I told

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<v Speaker 1>him that I spoke at a treatment center every week,

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<v Speaker 1>and he said, man, that would be awesome. Do you

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<v Speaker 1>think I could come with you? Absolutely? Man? So I

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<v Speaker 1>checked with the treatment center. Listen, yeah, no problem. So

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<v Speaker 1>I brought him along with me and he just liked

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<v Speaker 1>it a lot. And I said, hey, we're opening this

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<v Speaker 1>recovery center. You know, if you ever thought about becoming

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<v Speaker 1>a recovery coach and he was like, nah, I haven't really.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, well, here's what we would pay. I

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<v Speaker 1>know that's probably more than what you're making at the

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<v Speaker 1>vape store, but you can actually have a career here,

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<v Speaker 1>and he turned me down. He said, nah, nah, nah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm cool at the vape store like okay, and then

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<v Speaker 1>the next day he comes knocking on the door. We

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<v Speaker 1>had to open it up for him. He's like, hey man,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so sorry. I do want that job. This is

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<v Speaker 1>that was so stupid to me to turn you down,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. And so now he works here and since then,

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<v Speaker 1>he's become a recovery coach. He's certified with the state.

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<v Speaker 1>He's now one of our drivers that take people to

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<v Speaker 1>him from treatment, which is very crucial when you use

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<v Speaker 1>a recovery coach to do that, you know, it's huge.

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<v Speaker 1>And he has learned how to use photoshop. He has

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<v Speaker 1>his own podcast now. He's amazing at making these awesome

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<v Speaker 1>flyers that we post around town. I mean, his skill

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<v Speaker 1>set has went through the roof and he's just scratching

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<v Speaker 1>the surface, you know. And he posted a blog he's

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<v Speaker 1>a good blog writer about how his life has changed

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<v Speaker 1>and for the first time ever, he has a career,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. And to make this more than just well yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean recovery, No, this is a lifestyle. You know.

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<v Speaker 1>He's embracing it. He's going on dates with women who

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<v Speaker 1>have jobs, you know, like, I mean, it's yeah, he

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<v Speaker 1>has standards. He says no to some women, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's just that self confidence. It's just this life

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<v Speaker 1>you know, of being joyous and being thankful, and it's

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<v Speaker 1>just such an amazing thing to be in the position

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<v Speaker 1>that I'm in, to be able to watch these people grow,

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<v Speaker 1>and to be able to offer these people work and careers.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, it's it's just something that's just amazing, Robert,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll tell you.

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<v Speaker 2>So you know, that's that's a great story. And we

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<v Speaker 2>never know, you know, these these chants, encounters are only

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<v Speaker 2>a chance to us there there there are no accidents

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<v Speaker 2>in God's economy, and every every opportunity you know of.

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<v Speaker 2>One of my college professors, doctor Nessman, taught me one

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<v Speaker 2>of the most valuable lessons we could ever learn, and

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<v Speaker 2>maybe you've heard a version of it. He he talked

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<v Speaker 2>to me and he told me there was something called

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<v Speaker 2>the rule of thirds. And the rule of thirds is

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<v Speaker 2>a third of the people are going to think I'm

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<v Speaker 2>the greatest things since life bread. A third of the

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<v Speaker 2>people really could care less, and a third of the

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<v Speaker 2>people can't wait for me to shut up, he said,

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<v Speaker 2>But they'll all look the same. So the person who

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<v Speaker 2>can't wait for you to shut up is going to

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<v Speaker 2>look like the person who thinks you hung the moon,

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<v Speaker 2>and they're going to seem real, real attached, real attentive,

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<v Speaker 2>and they're going to think you're full of crap the

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<v Speaker 2>whole way through. So therefore you don't know who these

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<v Speaker 2>thirds are. Therefore, when you talk to everyone as if

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<v Speaker 2>they were in the top third, many becoming the top

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<v Speaker 2>third even without their permission. And I've tried to engage

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<v Speaker 2>when we go into treatment centers and you know that,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, some people could care less. Some people are

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<v Speaker 2>there for just three hots and a cop. Some are

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<v Speaker 2>there because it beats five years in federal prison. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>there's a number of reasons. CPS says, if you don't go,

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<v Speaker 2>you're not going to get the kids back. Everyone jumps

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<v Speaker 2>through that particular coercion for a different reason. But when

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<v Speaker 2>you talk to them as if they have potential, as

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<v Speaker 2>if they have power, as if they have another way

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<v Speaker 2>of living, then they can think, wisest person talking to me.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't care, And yet you don't care that they

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<v Speaker 2>don't care. You're just there to share your experience, strength

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<v Speaker 2>and hope. That's all we have to do. According to

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<v Speaker 2>Step twelve, haven't had a spirit awakenized result of these stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>We tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to

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<v Speaker 2>practice these principles on all our affairs. We don't have

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<v Speaker 2>to convince them of anything. We just have to try

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<v Speaker 2>to carry our message. And our message is powerful. It's real,

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<v Speaker 2>it's authentic. It's filled with compassion, it's filled with love,

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<v Speaker 2>it's filled with remorse, it's filled with forgiveness. It's filled

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<v Speaker 2>with a resurrected life. You know. And when we talk

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<v Speaker 2>in those terms, people who wouldn't listen normally, now we

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<v Speaker 2>have their attention and they think I want what that

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<v Speaker 2>person has. I'm actually willing. I'm so tired of living

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<v Speaker 2>this other life. I'm willing to entertain what they're saying.

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<v Speaker 2>And when that happens, magic occurs, man, and this you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, bro, there's nothing like it.

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<v Speaker 1>And I wish I could bottle it and just give

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<v Speaker 1>it to everybody, But then I would have tried to

403
00:20:50.279 --> 00:20:52.720
<v Speaker 1>give people too much, you know what I'm saying. But no,

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<v Speaker 1>that's what I told the guy who said he had

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<v Speaker 1>two weeks, and I was like, it's this magical thing

406
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<v Speaker 1>and it just flips and I don't know when it's

407
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<v Speaker 1>going to flip for you, but it will just give

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<v Speaker 1>us some time.

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<v Speaker 2>I was in a treatment center yesterday Brighton, me and

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<v Speaker 2>my friend Michelle. You'll have to have her on the show.

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<v Speaker 2>She's amazing. I take her everywhere with me because she

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<v Speaker 2>just lends so much credibility to my recovery. Anyway, I

413
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<v Speaker 2>was in this treatment center and at the end of

414
00:21:23.960 --> 00:21:28.920
<v Speaker 2>this my ninety minutes with them, this girl came up

415
00:21:28.960 --> 00:21:30.720
<v Speaker 2>and said, could I talk to you? And I said sure,

416
00:21:31.000 --> 00:21:34.319
<v Speaker 2>I've got a few minutes. And so she had fifteen

417
00:21:34.400 --> 00:21:40.680
<v Speaker 2>days sober and she was worried about how she was,

418
00:21:42.119 --> 00:21:45.920
<v Speaker 2>and I said to her, I said, you know I

419
00:21:45.960 --> 00:21:50.279
<v Speaker 2>have I said I have fourteen thousand and eleven days.

420
00:21:51.839 --> 00:21:54.640
<v Speaker 2>And I said how many days you have? And she

421
00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:59.480
<v Speaker 2>says fifteen days? And I said, and how many of

422
00:21:59.480 --> 00:22:02.759
<v Speaker 2>those days have you wanted to use? And she said

423
00:22:02.920 --> 00:22:07.720
<v Speaker 2>fifteen of them? And I said, I can't remember the

424
00:22:07.799 --> 00:22:10.480
<v Speaker 2>last time I wanted to use. Who do you think

425
00:22:10.559 --> 00:22:14.440
<v Speaker 2>is more powerful than this room? You were me? And

426
00:22:14.519 --> 00:22:19.279
<v Speaker 2>she thought about it and said me. I said, exactly,

427
00:22:20.440 --> 00:22:22.920
<v Speaker 2>You've exhibited more power in the last fifteen days of

428
00:22:22.960 --> 00:22:26.680
<v Speaker 2>saying no to something, your mind was saying yes to that.

429
00:22:26.799 --> 00:22:29.519
<v Speaker 2>You have to have more power than me, because you've

430
00:22:29.519 --> 00:22:33.680
<v Speaker 2>been saying no when I just don't have a desire.

431
00:22:35.160 --> 00:22:40.079
<v Speaker 2>And then I told her, I said, do I know

432
00:22:40.160 --> 00:22:42.319
<v Speaker 2>you in the present or do I know you by

433
00:22:42.359 --> 00:22:46.359
<v Speaker 2>your past? And she said, well, you don't know my past,

434
00:22:46.480 --> 00:22:49.240
<v Speaker 2>so you know me in the present. I said, exactly,

435
00:22:50.240 --> 00:22:53.200
<v Speaker 2>what would you think of me if I found out

436
00:22:53.240 --> 00:22:57.039
<v Speaker 2>everything of your past and then used it against you

437
00:22:57.079 --> 00:23:00.920
<v Speaker 2>and your present? And she said I wouldn't like you.

438
00:23:02.440 --> 00:23:07.839
<v Speaker 2>I said, okay, why doesn't that apply to you? And

439
00:23:07.960 --> 00:23:11.960
<v Speaker 2>she just left this room just I mean, I would

440
00:23:11.960 --> 00:23:15.720
<v Speaker 2>imagine she woke up today with day sixteen, you know,

441
00:23:15.759 --> 00:23:18.240
<v Speaker 2>and when we can transfer that magic, when we can

442
00:23:18.279 --> 00:23:21.559
<v Speaker 2>allow because in reality, how many people that you meet

443
00:23:21.599 --> 00:23:29.119
<v Speaker 2>today will you know from yesterday? All you know is today,

444
00:23:29.160 --> 00:23:34.359
<v Speaker 2>you know, And that's really powerful evidence, you know. They

445
00:23:34.440 --> 00:23:37.200
<v Speaker 2>used to say to me, if you if you talk

446
00:23:37.279 --> 00:23:39.480
<v Speaker 2>to me the way I talk to me, I would

447
00:23:39.519 --> 00:23:42.799
<v Speaker 2>tell you to get out of my life. And that's true.

448
00:23:44.960 --> 00:23:48.200
<v Speaker 2>People need to see what they're doing, not what they've done,

449
00:23:49.000 --> 00:23:53.160
<v Speaker 2>because when we judge ourself by who we were, we

450
00:23:53.279 --> 00:23:56.319
<v Speaker 2>judge yourself as a bad person, and we're actually sick

451
00:23:56.359 --> 00:23:59.240
<v Speaker 2>people trying to get well, who've done some bad things.

452
00:23:59.839 --> 00:24:01.960
<v Speaker 2>We did bad things not because we're bad. We did

453
00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:05.519
<v Speaker 2>bad things because we were sick. And the sooner we

454
00:24:05.559 --> 00:24:08.160
<v Speaker 2>can get our head around that, the closer we are

455
00:24:08.279 --> 00:24:10.720
<v Speaker 2>to that position of recovery.

456
00:24:12.920 --> 00:24:15.720
<v Speaker 1>You're trying to dig up the path because you nailed it,

457
00:24:15.759 --> 00:24:18.400
<v Speaker 1>because you can't change the past, and don't judge me

458
00:24:18.440 --> 00:24:20.960
<v Speaker 1>on it. And when you can get to that point

459
00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:24.960
<v Speaker 1>of your life or your recovery journey where you can

460
00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:29.039
<v Speaker 1>forgive yourself for the past and you can move forward

461
00:24:29.240 --> 00:24:31.839
<v Speaker 1>and build a new life, it can be exciting. That's

462
00:24:31.960 --> 00:24:35.160
<v Speaker 1>that's exactly what I did. I decided I'm not going

463
00:24:35.240 --> 00:24:36.960
<v Speaker 1>to go back to radio. I'm going to start a

464
00:24:37.000 --> 00:24:43.000
<v Speaker 1>nonprofit because why not. That's what people do, and you know,

465
00:24:43.079 --> 00:24:45.240
<v Speaker 1>I want to help people. I knew that even from

466
00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:48.039
<v Speaker 1>being in radio. You know, my biggest things that I'll

467
00:24:48.039 --> 00:24:52.599
<v Speaker 1>tell people from radio isn't that I met Billy Gibbons

468
00:24:52.720 --> 00:24:54.680
<v Speaker 1>or whoever. You know, It's not that I did this

469
00:24:54.839 --> 00:24:57.839
<v Speaker 1>or that. It's we did a food drive in Fortsmouth,

470
00:24:57.920 --> 00:25:01.440
<v Speaker 1>Arkansas the first year, and that I was like, all right,

471
00:25:02.200 --> 00:25:04.400
<v Speaker 1>let's do this. The food bank came to us and

472
00:25:04.440 --> 00:25:06.519
<v Speaker 1>they said, well you help us. I said sure, So

473
00:25:06.559 --> 00:25:09.039
<v Speaker 1>we got with this garbage company or something. They gave

474
00:25:09.119 --> 00:25:11.359
<v Speaker 1>us all these trash bins that we put in the stores,

475
00:25:11.359 --> 00:25:14.200
<v Speaker 1>and we were on the radio four different stations telling

476
00:25:14.200 --> 00:25:16.839
<v Speaker 1>people drop off food, drop off food, cans of food,

477
00:25:16.880 --> 00:25:19.599
<v Speaker 1>and grocery stores said they were gonna put little labels

478
00:25:19.599 --> 00:25:22.240
<v Speaker 1>and oh man, this is great, go to collect the food.

479
00:25:22.279 --> 00:25:28.079
<v Speaker 1>We didn't have shit, We had nothing, And the guys

480
00:25:28.160 --> 00:25:30.039
<v Speaker 1>that worked at the other stations were like, all right,

481
00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:31.880
<v Speaker 1>well that sucked. Well. Next year came around and the

482
00:25:31.920 --> 00:25:33.680
<v Speaker 1>food MANK guys came to talk to me and they're like,

483
00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:36.160
<v Speaker 1>let's do this again. I said, yeah, let's let's have

484
00:25:36.200 --> 00:25:38.200
<v Speaker 1>a different strategy. And he's like, well, to tell you

485
00:25:38.240 --> 00:25:42.359
<v Speaker 1>the truth, Corey, dropping off cans of food, it's kind

486
00:25:42.359 --> 00:25:43.519
<v Speaker 1>of a pain in the ass because then we got

487
00:25:43.519 --> 00:25:45.519
<v Speaker 1>to pay somebody to come in sort it. Half of

488
00:25:45.519 --> 00:25:48.079
<v Speaker 1>it we have to throw away because it's expired. It's

489
00:25:48.079 --> 00:25:50.400
<v Speaker 1>just crap that people are just getting off the out

490
00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:54.480
<v Speaker 1>of their cupboards. And he's like, if you give us money,

491
00:25:54.519 --> 00:25:57.400
<v Speaker 1>it helps. Every twelve dollars and fifty cents we can

492
00:25:57.440 --> 00:26:00.480
<v Speaker 1>feed a family of four with. Okay, So I got

493
00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:03.160
<v Speaker 1>with the movie theater and Hunger Games or two or

494
00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:04.960
<v Speaker 1>whatever was coming out, and I was like, let give

495
00:26:05.039 --> 00:26:07.119
<v Speaker 1>us all these movie tickets. People will call there, they'll

496
00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:11.519
<v Speaker 1>buy your popcorn, which you want anyway. And for twelve fifty,

497
00:26:11.599 --> 00:26:13.880
<v Speaker 1>which was actually cheaper than what you would have went

498
00:26:13.920 --> 00:26:16.759
<v Speaker 1>to the movies and bought two tickets for you know,

499
00:26:16.880 --> 00:26:19.119
<v Speaker 1>you feed a family four. So man, we raised enough

500
00:26:19.119 --> 00:26:22.359
<v Speaker 1>to feed twenty thousand people, and it was insane. We

501
00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:25.599
<v Speaker 1>went from nothing, and my coworkers didn't want to even

502
00:26:25.599 --> 00:26:28.640
<v Speaker 1>try it. They're like, we failed at it, and I'm like, no, no, no, no,

503
00:26:29.000 --> 00:26:31.240
<v Speaker 1>we failed. How we did it. We're doing it again

504
00:26:31.279 --> 00:26:33.279
<v Speaker 1>this year. And then the next year we did it again.

505
00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:36.720
<v Speaker 1>And that's what I loved, you know. And I was

506
00:26:36.720 --> 00:26:38.559
<v Speaker 1>telling that story when I was in the psych word

507
00:26:39.119 --> 00:26:41.400
<v Speaker 1>to this guy and he's like, man, man, he's like,

508
00:26:41.759 --> 00:26:43.799
<v Speaker 1>you just lit up when you told that story. And

509
00:26:43.839 --> 00:26:45.160
<v Speaker 1>I was like, well, it's because I'm proud of it,

510
00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:46.960
<v Speaker 1>you know, and like we helped so many people, and

511
00:26:47.559 --> 00:26:49.519
<v Speaker 1>that's why I knew I had that in me. And

512
00:26:49.839 --> 00:26:52.599
<v Speaker 1>first when I thought, oh, okay, i'll do this recovery thing.

513
00:26:52.640 --> 00:26:54.559
<v Speaker 1>I'll get clean and i'll go back to school and

514
00:26:54.599 --> 00:26:57.039
<v Speaker 1>i'll be a drug counselor and I didn't want to

515
00:26:57.039 --> 00:26:59.440
<v Speaker 1>be a drug counselor you know, I don't want to

516
00:26:59.480 --> 00:27:01.119
<v Speaker 1>sit in a room with one person and I can't

517
00:27:01.160 --> 00:27:03.160
<v Speaker 1>share my experience with them either. You know, if you're

518
00:27:03.160 --> 00:27:06.519
<v Speaker 1>a therapist and you're sitting there, you just have to

519
00:27:06.599 --> 00:27:09.759
<v Speaker 1>listen and say, did you think that calling the cop

520
00:27:09.799 --> 00:27:11.880
<v Speaker 1>a dick was going to get you out of that ticket?

521
00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:14.000
<v Speaker 1>You know, you got to like make him think of like,

522
00:27:14.160 --> 00:27:16.160
<v Speaker 1>who was that a good idea? Probably not, you know,

523
00:27:16.200 --> 00:27:17.960
<v Speaker 1>but I didn't want to do that. So I like

524
00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:19.759
<v Speaker 1>had a foot in and a foot out, and I

525
00:27:19.799 --> 00:27:22.880
<v Speaker 1>was stuck. But when I went to treatment that last

526
00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:24.559
<v Speaker 1>time and I was like, I'm going to do a podcast,

527
00:27:24.640 --> 00:27:26.319
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to make it to a nonprofit and we're

528
00:27:26.319 --> 00:27:29.119
<v Speaker 1>going to help people how. I have no idea, but

529
00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:31.480
<v Speaker 1>God put this in my head for a reason. Don't

530
00:27:31.519 --> 00:27:33.920
<v Speaker 1>know why. I'm just gonna shut up and I'm gonna

531
00:27:33.960 --> 00:27:35.839
<v Speaker 1>run with it. Don't know what I'm doing, which can

532
00:27:35.839 --> 00:27:38.799
<v Speaker 1>be scary for people, but having that faith and just

533
00:27:38.839 --> 00:27:41.440
<v Speaker 1>trusting like this is better than what I was doing before,

534
00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:44.160
<v Speaker 1>and I'm actually working towards something. If I just went

535
00:27:44.200 --> 00:27:45.759
<v Speaker 1>back on the radio, I would just slide right back

536
00:27:45.759 --> 00:27:48.920
<v Speaker 1>in the same, same old life. You know, you have

537
00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:50.960
<v Speaker 1>to change, and I don't know if you can see

538
00:27:51.000 --> 00:27:54.400
<v Speaker 1>it behind me up here is actually lyrics from a

539
00:27:54.400 --> 00:27:58.599
<v Speaker 1>Blind Melon song when life is hard, you have to change, Yeah,

540
00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:02.599
<v Speaker 1>have to. And for me, it was a change that

541
00:28:02.599 --> 00:28:05.279
<v Speaker 1>I needed to make. And now to just kind of

542
00:28:05.279 --> 00:28:09.000
<v Speaker 1>offer that for other people is just amazing. But you know,

543
00:28:09.079 --> 00:28:11.559
<v Speaker 1>to not give up in yourself, not judge your past,

544
00:28:11.880 --> 00:28:14.279
<v Speaker 1>you know, is a tough one. It took me a while,

545
00:28:14.599 --> 00:28:16.440
<v Speaker 1>you know, like, oh, but I called the police on

546
00:28:16.559 --> 00:28:18.480
<v Speaker 1>my mom. I you know, I think all this stupid

547
00:28:18.519 --> 00:28:21.920
<v Speaker 1>stuff that I had done. I called my sister a

548
00:28:21.960 --> 00:28:26.880
<v Speaker 1>horrible mother. Can't take it back, you know, I remember it.

549
00:28:27.799 --> 00:28:30.359
<v Speaker 1>And the only thing I can do today is that

550
00:28:30.440 --> 00:28:31.279
<v Speaker 1>living amends.

551
00:28:31.319 --> 00:28:31.480
<v Speaker 2>You know.

552
00:28:31.519 --> 00:28:34.359
<v Speaker 1>I can show my mom, I can show my sister,

553
00:28:34.359 --> 00:28:37.440
<v Speaker 1>I can show my whole family that, yeah, I am sorry,

554
00:28:37.480 --> 00:28:39.640
<v Speaker 1>and I did change my way, so I'll never act

555
00:28:39.720 --> 00:28:43.160
<v Speaker 1>like that again. And my mom will tell you probably different,

556
00:28:43.839 --> 00:28:45.680
<v Speaker 1>because sometimes I'd like to put her on time out.

557
00:28:46.400 --> 00:28:50.000
<v Speaker 1>But hey, just kidding my mom, sort of.

558
00:28:50.720 --> 00:28:55.759
<v Speaker 2>There's so much to be said for making that living amends,

559
00:28:55.759 --> 00:28:57.519
<v Speaker 2>and I'm really glad you mentioned that. I mean, we

560
00:28:58.519 --> 00:29:02.599
<v Speaker 2>can go to people most of the people we say

561
00:29:02.640 --> 00:29:05.240
<v Speaker 2>we're sorry to just want to see us live a

562
00:29:05.240 --> 00:29:08.680
<v Speaker 2>different life. The majority of them, certainly in my life.

563
00:29:09.480 --> 00:29:13.720
<v Speaker 2>And you know, I was with my oldest daughters, the

564
00:29:13.799 --> 00:29:16.160
<v Speaker 2>two daughters I walked out and over this last weekend,

565
00:29:16.240 --> 00:29:21.119
<v Speaker 2>and then we sat and we chatted. My oldest daughter, Kathleen,

566
00:29:21.160 --> 00:29:23.160
<v Speaker 2>and I had a chance to sit down and just talk,

567
00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:27.160
<v Speaker 2>and I mainly talked to her and I said, you know,

568
00:29:28.400 --> 00:29:33.920
<v Speaker 2>of everyone I've ever sorry for, you're the only true regret.

569
00:29:34.000 --> 00:29:36.160
<v Speaker 2>You and your sister are the only real regrets that

570
00:29:36.200 --> 00:29:39.599
<v Speaker 2>I carried with me today. And she looked at me

571
00:29:39.640 --> 00:29:42.240
<v Speaker 2>and she said, Dad, you don't have anything to worry about.

572
00:29:42.319 --> 00:29:47.960
<v Speaker 2>Just stay clean, stay sober, do you? And I know

573
00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:50.640
<v Speaker 2>she felt that way, but you know, every now and

574
00:29:50.680 --> 00:29:57.279
<v Speaker 2>then to hear that is really good, Especically when you've

575
00:29:57.279 --> 00:30:00.680
<v Speaker 2>been sober as long as me. I just want to

576
00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:05.960
<v Speaker 2>make sure you're still making the difference. And I wasn't

577
00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:08.599
<v Speaker 2>that much of a difference to her because I left

578
00:30:08.599 --> 00:30:11.599
<v Speaker 2>them when they were young. But man, I'm a great

579
00:30:11.640 --> 00:30:14.440
<v Speaker 2>example as your grandfather how to make good choices and

580
00:30:14.519 --> 00:30:18.640
<v Speaker 2>how to turn their life around. And I'm example to

581
00:30:18.759 --> 00:30:21.680
<v Speaker 2>my grand to her children that I wasn't to her.

582
00:30:22.279 --> 00:30:26.759
<v Speaker 2>And you know, there's always that living amends, you know that.

583
00:30:27.880 --> 00:30:28.920
<v Speaker 2>I like that phrase a lot.

584
00:30:30.279 --> 00:30:33.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because those people don't want to hear sorry anymore.

585
00:30:33.440 --> 00:30:33.559
<v Speaker 2>You know.

586
00:30:33.599 --> 00:30:35.400
<v Speaker 1>I got to the point where I couldn't even look

587
00:30:35.480 --> 00:30:38.240
<v Speaker 1>my mom in the eye and say sorry, never do

588
00:30:38.359 --> 00:30:40.440
<v Speaker 1>it again, you know, in that shame of it, like, oh,

589
00:30:40.440 --> 00:30:44.000
<v Speaker 1>I just caused all this pain and stuff for everybody else,

590
00:30:44.079 --> 00:30:48.359
<v Speaker 1>and oh my gosh, it just it's horrible. And to

591
00:30:49.279 --> 00:30:50.880
<v Speaker 1>be at a point and I was telling this to

592
00:30:50.920 --> 00:30:53.640
<v Speaker 1>the guy that was in here the other day, to

593
00:30:53.680 --> 00:30:57.599
<v Speaker 1>be at a point where I thought, no, I'm thirty seven,

594
00:30:58.680 --> 00:31:00.799
<v Speaker 1>I've lived a pretty good life. I can die now

595
00:31:02.200 --> 00:31:04.119
<v Speaker 1>to think that, you know, to go back and go,

596
00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:06.960
<v Speaker 1>oh my god, like, but that's what alcohol did to

597
00:31:07.039 --> 00:31:07.440
<v Speaker 1>my brain.

598
00:31:07.519 --> 00:31:07.680
<v Speaker 2>You know.

599
00:31:07.720 --> 00:31:10.319
<v Speaker 1>It convinced me that, yeah, you lived pretty good life.

600
00:31:10.400 --> 00:31:13.799
<v Speaker 1>You did some pretty cool things. You know, yeah you

601
00:31:13.880 --> 00:31:15.920
<v Speaker 1>check out now, that's cool. You lived a full life.

602
00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:19.640
<v Speaker 1>Didn't even know what love was, you know, like it

603
00:31:19.759 --> 00:31:22.519
<v Speaker 1>didn't know what a family was, you know. To to

604
00:31:22.680 --> 00:31:26.759
<v Speaker 1>just experience this is just so amazing, man, And it's

605
00:31:27.119 --> 00:31:31.480
<v Speaker 1>truly a blessing. And I thank God every day the

606
00:31:31.519 --> 00:31:33.880
<v Speaker 1>way I prayed before it was God, let me figure

607
00:31:33.880 --> 00:31:36.440
<v Speaker 1>this out, and he let me. He let me figure

608
00:31:36.440 --> 00:31:38.160
<v Speaker 1>it out. I had to go through all those hard

609
00:31:38.200 --> 00:31:41.039
<v Speaker 1>times to be where I'm at today. If I didn't

610
00:31:41.039 --> 00:31:44.599
<v Speaker 1>go to jail, I wouldn't know anything about jail, you know.

611
00:31:44.599 --> 00:31:46.279
<v Speaker 1>If I didn't go back to jail, I wouldn't have

612
00:31:46.319 --> 00:31:48.960
<v Speaker 1>been sent up to Northern Michigan, you know, to get

613
00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:52.359
<v Speaker 1>away from where I grew up in Southwest Michigan, where

614
00:31:52.359 --> 00:31:54.880
<v Speaker 1>there was nothing there for me, you know, and to

615
00:31:54.920 --> 00:31:57.799
<v Speaker 1>be able to have that fresh start. Some people I've

616
00:31:57.799 --> 00:32:00.960
<v Speaker 1>seen them leave treatment, like this one couple they hooked

617
00:32:01.039 --> 00:32:03.200
<v Speaker 1>up in treatment and they're like, we're gonna move to Florida.

618
00:32:04.160 --> 00:32:06.799
<v Speaker 1>I said, okay, I can tell you how that's gonna

619
00:32:06.839 --> 00:32:09.839
<v Speaker 1>work out. Oh, don't judge us. You don't know where

620
00:32:09.839 --> 00:32:14.200
<v Speaker 1>the exception. All right. Two three weeks later, I get

621
00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:17.480
<v Speaker 1>a Facebook message, Well you were right. He kicked me out,

622
00:32:17.519 --> 00:32:21.519
<v Speaker 1>blah blah blah. I'm like, oh, because you start using again.

623
00:32:21.839 --> 00:32:24.279
<v Speaker 1>Well that's not the point. I'm like, Okay, Well I

624
00:32:24.279 --> 00:32:29.559
<v Speaker 1>can right, you know. And there's some people who just

625
00:32:29.680 --> 00:32:32.839
<v Speaker 1>can't imagine. And I was this way too. I can't

626
00:32:32.839 --> 00:32:36.400
<v Speaker 1>imagine a life without using some kind of drug, and

627
00:32:36.680 --> 00:32:38.559
<v Speaker 1>I thought I'd figured it out. I was in like

628
00:32:38.599 --> 00:32:44.559
<v Speaker 1>this the crappiest treatment center that's on the earth. And

629
00:32:44.599 --> 00:32:47.400
<v Speaker 1>it's when it hit me, Robert, I'm a genius. My

630
00:32:47.519 --> 00:32:49.880
<v Speaker 1>ego came into play here. Why didn't I figure this

631
00:32:49.920 --> 00:32:53.240
<v Speaker 1>out sooner? I don't know. I'm just gonna smoke weed.

632
00:32:54.839 --> 00:32:56.440
<v Speaker 1>That's what I'll do. And I went up to one

633
00:32:56.480 --> 00:32:59.200
<v Speaker 1>of the texts. I was like, hey, man, I don't

634
00:32:59.200 --> 00:33:00.799
<v Speaker 1>even need to be here anym. He's like, what are

635
00:33:00.799 --> 00:33:02.480
<v Speaker 1>you talking about. I was like, man, I figured it out.

636
00:33:02.839 --> 00:33:05.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm just gonna smoke weed. I don't like mixing alcohol

637
00:33:05.720 --> 00:33:08.640
<v Speaker 1>and weed. I'll just smoke weed. Then I won't drink.

638
00:33:08.720 --> 00:33:14.519
<v Speaker 1>He said, you can't substitute. That's substitute, and you're substitute worth. Man. No,

639
00:33:14.759 --> 00:33:16.960
<v Speaker 1>I got this, So I get out. I get this

640
00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:20.000
<v Speaker 1>bag of weed. And the bag of weed now is

641
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:21.759
<v Speaker 1>not the bag of weed when I was smoking weed

642
00:33:21.799 --> 00:33:25.440
<v Speaker 1>when I was seventeen eighteen. We're not saying yeah, you know.

643
00:33:25.559 --> 00:33:27.759
<v Speaker 1>I mean. I was like I couldn't even get off

644
00:33:27.799 --> 00:33:29.880
<v Speaker 1>the couch. I was like, what is going on? I

645
00:33:29.920 --> 00:33:32.079
<v Speaker 1>was like, this is stupid. And then I called the

646
00:33:32.079 --> 00:33:33.759
<v Speaker 1>buddy and was like, hey, bring me a fifth and

647
00:33:33.759 --> 00:33:37.119
<v Speaker 1>I'll trade you this weed. It lasted a day. Robert

648
00:33:37.599 --> 00:33:40.000
<v Speaker 1>like that, it just doesn't work. And I was like, damn,

649
00:33:40.039 --> 00:33:41.240
<v Speaker 1>that guy was right, and then I had to go

650
00:33:41.279 --> 00:33:44.440
<v Speaker 1>back treaming again blah blah blah blah. But some people

651
00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:46.400
<v Speaker 1>still hold on to this thing of like I have

652
00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:49.519
<v Speaker 1>to have something. And this one lady was telling me like, oh,

653
00:33:49.559 --> 00:33:51.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna smoke weed till the rest of my life.

654
00:33:51.279 --> 00:33:53.799
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, look for me, I can't do it.

655
00:33:54.200 --> 00:33:58.559
<v Speaker 1>If there's a one percent chance half a percent point

656
00:33:58.640 --> 00:34:01.240
<v Speaker 1>zero zero zero zero zero's you're a one percent chance.

657
00:34:01.279 --> 00:34:02.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to do it because if there's that

658
00:34:02.960 --> 00:34:05.480
<v Speaker 1>one percent, that point zero zero zero zero one percent

659
00:34:05.519 --> 00:34:08.199
<v Speaker 1>that will lead me to alcohol. Again, not going to

660
00:34:08.280 --> 00:34:11.679
<v Speaker 1>do it. It's not worth it. And they're like, yeah,

661
00:34:11.719 --> 00:34:13.480
<v Speaker 1>but I need it from my back or I need

662
00:34:13.519 --> 00:34:16.599
<v Speaker 1>it because work is stressful. I'm like, do you have

663
00:34:16.679 --> 00:34:18.719
<v Speaker 1>you what are you working on? What are you really

664
00:34:18.719 --> 00:34:20.440
<v Speaker 1>working on? Because that was something that I said too

665
00:34:20.480 --> 00:34:23.039
<v Speaker 1>being in radio. Oh it's so stressful, you know, like

666
00:34:23.119 --> 00:34:24.480
<v Speaker 1>I have to come home and I have to just

667
00:34:24.519 --> 00:34:29.719
<v Speaker 1>get ship face drunk. What that doesn't make sense? And

668
00:34:30.719 --> 00:34:33.239
<v Speaker 1>what how is that helping anything, Well, it helps me unwined.

669
00:34:33.360 --> 00:34:36.480
<v Speaker 1>What it doesn't makes you shake, you know, like that's

670
00:34:36.519 --> 00:34:38.880
<v Speaker 1>why you're sick and dry heaving in the morning, you know,

671
00:34:38.960 --> 00:34:43.440
<v Speaker 1>like that's what it's doing. It's not helping you, but

672
00:34:43.599 --> 00:34:45.719
<v Speaker 1>it's it's tough to get caught up in that though,

673
00:34:45.800 --> 00:34:48.079
<v Speaker 1>and then just think, well I need it for this,

674
00:34:48.239 --> 00:34:50.119
<v Speaker 1>I need it for that, you know. It's like no,

675
00:34:50.199 --> 00:34:52.679
<v Speaker 1>you don't, man. And some people will say you just

676
00:34:52.679 --> 00:34:54.800
<v Speaker 1>need to meditate, which I'd like to meditate from time

677
00:34:54.840 --> 00:34:57.840
<v Speaker 1>to time too, But there's other things that you can

678
00:34:57.880 --> 00:35:00.440
<v Speaker 1>do to replace it, you know, and you don't need the.

679
00:35:00.400 --> 00:35:07.079
<v Speaker 3>Way like go help another alcoholic. Yeah, well the novel Idea,

680
00:35:07.159 --> 00:35:09.400
<v Speaker 3>you know, it says on real Numeral seventeen of the

681
00:35:09.400 --> 00:35:13.760
<v Speaker 3>Big Book that the strenuous work one alcoholic to another

682
00:35:13.920 --> 00:35:19.079
<v Speaker 3>is vital to bring about permanent recovery. So if I

683
00:35:19.119 --> 00:35:24.400
<v Speaker 3>want permanent recovery, and I always want permiency, I'm just

684
00:35:24.440 --> 00:35:27.320
<v Speaker 3>going to go help another alcoholic and somehow, some way,

685
00:35:27.360 --> 00:35:30.800
<v Speaker 3>no matter what state I'm in, helping another person helps me.

686
00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:36.800
<v Speaker 3>And that's why even the first tradition our commonwealthfare should

687
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:40.239
<v Speaker 3>come first. Personal recovery depends upon AA unity. It's what

688
00:35:40.280 --> 00:35:44.039
<v Speaker 3>we believe in together that helps me as an individual

689
00:35:44.039 --> 00:35:47.440
<v Speaker 3>and what I believe personally, you know, it is that commonality.

690
00:35:47.440 --> 00:35:51.480
<v Speaker 3>It's page seventeen of the Big Book. We have discovered

691
00:35:51.519 --> 00:35:54.880
<v Speaker 3>a common solution on which we can absolutely agree and

692
00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:59.079
<v Speaker 3>joining brotherly and harmonious action, you know, and what is

693
00:35:59.079 --> 00:36:01.639
<v Speaker 3>that agreement? Twelve steps I recovered the Big Book, the

694
00:36:01.679 --> 00:36:04.800
<v Speaker 3>first one hundred and sixty four pages. You know, get

695
00:36:04.800 --> 00:36:10.119
<v Speaker 3>in a loving God, getting a sponsor, going to meetings,

696
00:36:10.199 --> 00:36:13.840
<v Speaker 3>helping another alcoholic, you know, working and then doing.

697
00:36:13.639 --> 00:36:15.400
<v Speaker 2>It over again. You know. Joe and Charlie on there,

698
00:36:15.480 --> 00:36:19.280
<v Speaker 2>Joe and Charlie tapes are really excellent in terms of

699
00:36:20.039 --> 00:36:22.920
<v Speaker 2>helping to find what the steps are and steps ten

700
00:36:22.920 --> 00:36:26.039
<v Speaker 2>eleven and twelve. They call them growth steps, not maintenance steps,

701
00:36:26.079 --> 00:36:30.199
<v Speaker 2>but growth steps, they say, and I believe them that

702
00:36:30.360 --> 00:36:33.360
<v Speaker 2>they've never known a person who's actively done steps ten

703
00:36:33.400 --> 00:36:37.559
<v Speaker 2>eleven and twelve every day not to grow. And that's

704
00:36:37.559 --> 00:36:42.039
<v Speaker 2>what I'm in this thing, you know, because I couldn't

705
00:36:42.039 --> 00:36:43.920
<v Speaker 2>get more high. I sat in the hotel room and

706
00:36:43.960 --> 00:36:46.039
<v Speaker 2>I tried to be in almost one more time on

707
00:36:46.199 --> 00:36:49.199
<v Speaker 2>almost because I came from nothing, I wasn't nothing. I

708
00:36:49.280 --> 00:36:51.559
<v Speaker 2>was always going to be nothing. So I settled on

709
00:36:51.639 --> 00:36:55.000
<v Speaker 2>an almost and I tried to recapture that feeling and

710
00:36:55.039 --> 00:36:58.320
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't. And the only way for me was the

711
00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:00.760
<v Speaker 2>Rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Because I knew I didn't want

712
00:37:00.760 --> 00:37:03.920
<v Speaker 2>to die. That's why I drank. I wanted to find

713
00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:08.000
<v Speaker 2>that halp, a medium that wasn't terrible, wasn't good, it

714
00:37:08.119 --> 00:37:10.400
<v Speaker 2>was okay. Right where I was at, I found that

715
00:37:10.800 --> 00:37:15.199
<v Speaker 2>neutrality where it didn't hurt being me. And I sat

716
00:37:15.239 --> 00:37:17.400
<v Speaker 2>in that hotel room and I couldn't recapture it, and

717
00:37:17.440 --> 00:37:19.800
<v Speaker 2>the only place for me to go was to the

718
00:37:19.880 --> 00:37:22.239
<v Speaker 2>Rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. And when I went back to

719
00:37:22.280 --> 00:37:26.440
<v Speaker 2>the rooms that day, through a divine set of miracles,

720
00:37:26.880 --> 00:37:29.360
<v Speaker 2>my sponsor and I got down on our knees did

721
00:37:29.400 --> 00:37:32.119
<v Speaker 2>the Third Step prayer. That was April twenty fifth, nineteen

722
00:37:32.159 --> 00:37:35.679
<v Speaker 2>eighty six. And trust me, Corey, I've never looked back. Never,

723
00:37:36.440 --> 00:37:40.679
<v Speaker 2>I've never doubted anything. You know, over the years, I've

724
00:37:40.719 --> 00:37:44.320
<v Speaker 2>had a continual spiritual awakening. But in that moment, I

725
00:37:44.360 --> 00:37:48.519
<v Speaker 2>had a spiritual experience that revolutionized my wife, my life,

726
00:37:47.679 --> 00:37:51.000
<v Speaker 2>and I knew I would never drink again.

727
00:37:53.079 --> 00:37:55.199
<v Speaker 1>Kind of had the same thing when I was in jail,

728
00:37:56.440 --> 00:37:58.320
<v Speaker 1>you know, and I actually prayed to God, you know,

729
00:37:58.400 --> 00:37:59.960
<v Speaker 1>like let that be the last drink I ever take,

730
00:38:00.079 --> 00:38:03.440
<v Speaker 1>and so far it has been. But it just went

731
00:38:03.599 --> 00:38:06.800
<v Speaker 1>and like I said, it just flips two. I don't

732
00:38:06.840 --> 00:38:10.360
<v Speaker 1>walk around mad or sad because I can't drink today.

733
00:38:10.400 --> 00:38:12.519
<v Speaker 1>And if it pops in my head or someone says,

734
00:38:12.760 --> 00:38:14.599
<v Speaker 1>would you want to drink today? I go, oh, no,

735
00:38:14.639 --> 00:38:17.800
<v Speaker 1>why would I want to do that? Like it flipped,

736
00:38:17.960 --> 00:38:19.840
<v Speaker 1>you know, from being the oh I can't drink to

737
00:38:20.440 --> 00:38:22.559
<v Speaker 1>why would I want to drink like that? That's a

738
00:38:22.639 --> 00:38:25.000
<v Speaker 1>horrible idea. Why would I want to go cut my

739
00:38:25.039 --> 00:38:26.280
<v Speaker 1>wiener off like that?

740
00:38:26.679 --> 00:38:26.760
<v Speaker 2>No?

741
00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:28.480
<v Speaker 1>Thanks, Like I'm going to say no to both those

742
00:38:28.519 --> 00:38:30.159
<v Speaker 1>things because it's not a good option for me.

743
00:38:31.199 --> 00:38:34.079
<v Speaker 2>You know, it says I tempted. Well, we will recoil

744
00:38:34.119 --> 00:38:37.199
<v Speaker 2>as it for mon as it from hot flame. Yeah,

745
00:38:37.480 --> 00:38:40.440
<v Speaker 2>and that's what I do. I'm you know, I'm very

746
00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:43.079
<v Speaker 2>fortunate having gotten sober. In Las Vegas, I was a

747
00:38:43.199 --> 00:38:46.840
<v Speaker 2>room service waiter and you know, much of my story

748
00:38:47.280 --> 00:38:51.239
<v Speaker 2>I've never known a sober moment that didn't include alcohol. Never.

749
00:38:51.400 --> 00:38:55.119
<v Speaker 2>I mean for ten years, fifteen years almost in the

750
00:38:55.119 --> 00:38:59.239
<v Speaker 2>restaurant business serving drinks, and you know, to this day, Laura's.

751
00:38:59.280 --> 00:39:02.280
<v Speaker 2>She he actually sets things down at the end of

752
00:39:02.320 --> 00:39:04.519
<v Speaker 2>second drink and says, oh, I can't drink anymore. I think,

753
00:39:04.639 --> 00:39:07.679
<v Speaker 2>what's the matter with you? You know, people would you know,

754
00:39:07.840 --> 00:39:09.480
<v Speaker 2>they would think what was the matter with me? And

755
00:39:09.480 --> 00:39:11.400
<v Speaker 2>I'd be on my eighth and ninth my tent drink.

756
00:39:11.719 --> 00:39:13.599
<v Speaker 2>She has two drinks and she says, Oh, I'm getting

757
00:39:13.599 --> 00:39:15.360
<v Speaker 2>a little dizzy. I need to stop.

758
00:39:16.760 --> 00:39:19.679
<v Speaker 4>Just when you're when you're getting dizzy, I'm just getting

759
00:39:19.719 --> 00:39:20.320
<v Speaker 4>wound up.

760
00:39:20.360 --> 00:39:22.320
<v Speaker 2>You know, I'm just getting ready to rock and roll.

761
00:39:22.519 --> 00:39:25.599
<v Speaker 2>This is just you know, opening up the doors for

762
00:39:25.639 --> 00:39:29.519
<v Speaker 2>me to get stupid, you know. And and so I've

763
00:39:29.559 --> 00:39:33.760
<v Speaker 2>always been around it, and unfortunately, you know, and not

764
00:39:33.840 --> 00:39:36.159
<v Speaker 2>everyone can. And I'm and I get that, and I'm

765
00:39:36.199 --> 00:39:38.679
<v Speaker 2>okay with that. Just I hope you're okay with me

766
00:39:38.800 --> 00:39:43.000
<v Speaker 2>being around it, you know, because we never recover from

767
00:39:43.320 --> 00:39:47.239
<v Speaker 2>the alcoholism. I agree with you. We're not cured of alcoholism.

768
00:39:47.280 --> 00:39:49.639
<v Speaker 2>What we really have is a daily reprieved contingent on

769
00:39:49.679 --> 00:39:55.000
<v Speaker 2>the main of our spiritual condition. We recover from that obsession,

770
00:39:55.119 --> 00:39:57.960
<v Speaker 2>We recover from that hopeless state of mind and body

771
00:39:58.400 --> 00:40:02.119
<v Speaker 2>that allows us to make a national decision in a

772
00:40:02.239 --> 00:40:05.280
<v Speaker 2>non emotive, so we don't react to the things we

773
00:40:05.440 --> 00:40:08.440
<v Speaker 2>used to don't. We don't find it necessary. It's easier

774
00:40:08.480 --> 00:40:10.679
<v Speaker 2>for me to walk through pain than it is for

775
00:40:10.800 --> 00:40:15.960
<v Speaker 2>me to avoid pain, because avoidance will lead to more pain,

776
00:40:16.360 --> 00:40:19.719
<v Speaker 2>and more pain will increase my need to medicate. And

777
00:40:19.800 --> 00:40:21.960
<v Speaker 2>my favorite medication is Johnny Walker Black.

778
00:40:24.840 --> 00:40:30.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and I preach about reacting a lot too, and

779
00:40:30.360 --> 00:40:35.199
<v Speaker 1>how you respond versus react, because yeah, and man, it's

780
00:40:35.239 --> 00:40:38.119
<v Speaker 1>a lifelong journey. It's it's going to be a lifelong

781
00:40:38.360 --> 00:40:40.719
<v Speaker 1>learning experience for me because there's some things that will

782
00:40:40.800 --> 00:40:42.960
<v Speaker 1>cut you off guard, and man, you just want fire,

783
00:40:43.039 --> 00:40:46.880
<v Speaker 1>especially when you're driving. We call it giving people the

784
00:40:46.880 --> 00:40:51.360
<v Speaker 1>corey now is when giving people's finger if I let

785
00:40:51.400 --> 00:40:54.079
<v Speaker 1>you know anything, you know, but but I try to like, hey,

786
00:40:54.280 --> 00:40:56.400
<v Speaker 1>maybe that person's having a bad day too, you know,

787
00:40:56.519 --> 00:41:02.000
<v Speaker 1>like just just don't react so much, and you will

788
00:41:02.039 --> 00:41:04.960
<v Speaker 1>save yourself the embarrassment. Man, I've saved myself so much

789
00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:07.960
<v Speaker 1>embarrassment that normally probably would have made me go drink

790
00:41:08.360 --> 00:41:11.760
<v Speaker 1>because I would have said something so wrong or falsely

791
00:41:11.800 --> 00:41:13.599
<v Speaker 1>accused somebody of something they didn't do.

792
00:41:14.480 --> 00:41:14.559
<v Speaker 2>It.

793
00:41:14.719 --> 00:41:17.880
<v Speaker 1>Just just calmed down. And there was a guy in

794
00:41:17.920 --> 00:41:21.079
<v Speaker 1>here last month and he was like, Corey, he came

795
00:41:21.119 --> 00:41:23.119
<v Speaker 1>in to talk to me, and then he left and

796
00:41:23.159 --> 00:41:25.360
<v Speaker 1>he comes back in and he's like, Corey, somebody stole

797
00:41:25.400 --> 00:41:27.360
<v Speaker 1>my phone out of my car. And I was like, well,

798
00:41:28.920 --> 00:41:30.719
<v Speaker 1>are you sure. I mean, we don't really have a

799
00:41:30.719 --> 00:41:32.719
<v Speaker 1>lot of people in our parking lot, just wandering through

800
00:41:32.760 --> 00:41:35.199
<v Speaker 1>looking through people's cars, and you're only here for like

801
00:41:35.239 --> 00:41:37.679
<v Speaker 1>five minutes. And I was like, well, let me check

802
00:41:37.679 --> 00:41:39.920
<v Speaker 1>the camera, you know, because our camera points out. And

803
00:41:39.960 --> 00:41:42.639
<v Speaker 1>I was like, well, there was a car that kind

804
00:41:42.679 --> 00:41:45.280
<v Speaker 1>of came by, but I don't think they went in

805
00:41:45.320 --> 00:41:47.599
<v Speaker 1>your car to steal your phone. He's like, oh, was

806
00:41:47.599 --> 00:41:49.440
<v Speaker 1>just sitting right there. Now it's gone. Somebody stole my

807
00:41:49.920 --> 00:41:52.000
<v Speaker 1>Just freaking out, you know, And I was like, let's

808
00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:53.239
<v Speaker 1>just calm down. I was like, you sure it's not

809
00:41:53.280 --> 00:41:53.800
<v Speaker 1>in your car?

810
00:41:54.039 --> 00:41:54.199
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

811
00:41:54.280 --> 00:41:57.320
<v Speaker 1>Positive? You know, I left it right in the center.

812
00:41:57.400 --> 00:41:58.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, are you sure it didn't like fall into

813
00:41:58.760 --> 00:42:01.239
<v Speaker 1>your seat or something. I wouldn't have put it there.

814
00:42:01.679 --> 00:42:03.360
<v Speaker 1>I was right in the center. So go out to

815
00:42:03.400 --> 00:42:05.920
<v Speaker 1>his car. He opens his door. He's like, right, here's

816
00:42:05.920 --> 00:42:08.000
<v Speaker 1>where I put it. And I was like okay, and

817
00:42:08.039 --> 00:42:09.760
<v Speaker 1>I look under his seat and it's not there, and

818
00:42:09.760 --> 00:42:11.519
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, all right. He goes to close the door

819
00:42:11.559 --> 00:42:13.000
<v Speaker 1>and I look in the door and there's that little

820
00:42:13.039 --> 00:42:15.280
<v Speaker 1>cubby area in the door, and I see his phone

821
00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:17.119
<v Speaker 1>as he closes the door. I'm like, well, hold on,

822
00:42:17.199 --> 00:42:19.679
<v Speaker 1>open your door back up. He's like what. I was like,

823
00:42:19.679 --> 00:42:21.840
<v Speaker 1>what is that there? And he's like, well, that's my phone.

824
00:42:21.920 --> 00:42:24.800
<v Speaker 1>Oh oh my god. I thought, you know, but he

825
00:42:24.920 --> 00:42:28.960
<v Speaker 1>just went into that this panic mode and just assumed

826
00:42:29.000 --> 00:42:32.880
<v Speaker 1>that all these bad things were happening to him when no, oh,

827
00:42:32.960 --> 00:42:35.039
<v Speaker 1>that's right, the dog. I had to take this dog

828
00:42:35.079 --> 00:42:36.679
<v Speaker 1>over this lady, and the dog was getting my phone.

829
00:42:36.719 --> 00:42:39.480
<v Speaker 1>So now I remember putting it in there. Okay, I'm

830
00:42:39.480 --> 00:42:43.079
<v Speaker 1>so dumb. I'm like, not dumb, but you like almost

831
00:42:43.119 --> 00:42:45.440
<v Speaker 1>caused yourself a moment that could have led you to

832
00:42:45.440 --> 00:42:50.800
<v Speaker 1>go relapse. Yeah, and just even if someone did steal

833
00:42:50.800 --> 00:42:54.280
<v Speaker 1>your phone, God wanted you to have a new one then.

834
00:42:55.079 --> 00:42:57.159
<v Speaker 2>So here I am. I'm like two and a half

835
00:42:57.280 --> 00:43:02.199
<v Speaker 2>years sober. And and when I met Laura, we've been

836
00:43:02.199 --> 00:43:04.519
<v Speaker 2>married over thirty five years now. When I met Laura,

837
00:43:05.440 --> 00:43:10.079
<v Speaker 2>I stopped dating. I took Laura out once and I thought,

838
00:43:10.119 --> 00:43:13.039
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, I have to marry this girl. So

839
00:43:13.119 --> 00:43:16.559
<v Speaker 2>the next day I woke up and I was dating

840
00:43:16.599 --> 00:43:19.480
<v Speaker 2>one of my Cotta waitresses who was also a lingerie model.

841
00:43:19.559 --> 00:43:23.639
<v Speaker 2>So she was a tall drink of water and I

842
00:43:23.719 --> 00:43:27.599
<v Speaker 2>was really thirsty at the time. So and so, but

843
00:43:27.719 --> 00:43:29.440
<v Speaker 2>I took Laura out, and I thought, this is the

844
00:43:29.480 --> 00:43:31.519
<v Speaker 2>girl I have to marry. And so I went and

845
00:43:31.599 --> 00:43:33.880
<v Speaker 2>I told this girl the next day. So give you

846
00:43:33.920 --> 00:43:35.960
<v Speaker 2>an idea of how crazy I was for Laura from

847
00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:41.760
<v Speaker 2>like Jump Street and so. So Laura was over my

848
00:43:41.840 --> 00:43:45.760
<v Speaker 2>house on a Saturday morning and we were leaving and

849
00:43:45.840 --> 00:43:50.760
<v Speaker 2>I locked my keys in my car, and instead of

850
00:43:50.760 --> 00:43:56.400
<v Speaker 2>getting upset, I was cool. I was calm, I was collective.

851
00:43:56.480 --> 00:43:59.679
<v Speaker 2>I figured out how I was going to And Laura

852
00:43:59.760 --> 00:44:04.719
<v Speaker 2>came from madness. Her dad was a drug addict, insane

853
00:44:04.800 --> 00:44:09.039
<v Speaker 2>person who just would blow up at the smallest provocation.

854
00:44:10.079 --> 00:44:13.679
<v Speaker 2>So she watched me for about a half hour, just

855
00:44:14.039 --> 00:44:16.000
<v Speaker 2>figure out what am I going to do? How am

856
00:44:16.000 --> 00:44:18.239
<v Speaker 2>I going to And eventually I got the door open

857
00:44:18.280 --> 00:44:21.199
<v Speaker 2>and I got my keys out. She fell in love

858
00:44:21.239 --> 00:44:25.320
<v Speaker 2>with me in that moment, in that moment of calmness,

859
00:44:25.360 --> 00:44:28.880
<v Speaker 2>of collecting myself, of being cool when I could have

860
00:44:28.920 --> 00:44:33.440
<v Speaker 2>been angry. She'll say to this day, that's when she

861
00:44:33.519 --> 00:44:37.800
<v Speaker 2>fell in love with me because I represented the person

862
00:44:37.840 --> 00:44:40.280
<v Speaker 2>that she always wanted to be with. And we were

863
00:44:40.320 --> 00:44:45.559
<v Speaker 2>fifteen years apart then and now, and so there's a

864
00:44:45.559 --> 00:44:50.440
<v Speaker 2>lot to be sad for being cool and being composed

865
00:44:50.480 --> 00:44:55.559
<v Speaker 2>and for living that serene life that only our higher

866
00:44:55.599 --> 00:44:59.559
<v Speaker 2>power can bring us souf. So, whether it's you don't

867
00:44:59.559 --> 00:45:01.840
<v Speaker 2>have to be embarrassed when you find your phone, or

868
00:45:01.880 --> 00:45:04.800
<v Speaker 2>you end up with a girl who thirty six years

869
00:45:04.880 --> 00:45:08.079
<v Speaker 2>later you're still in love with it, just it just.

870
00:45:08.039 --> 00:45:11.920
<v Speaker 1>Works and you feel better, you know, And oh, you

871
00:45:11.920 --> 00:45:15.239
<v Speaker 1>felt like you accomplished something by actually getting your keys,

872
00:45:15.280 --> 00:45:17.199
<v Speaker 1>and yeah, I'm sure you felt good, you know, but

873
00:45:17.400 --> 00:45:18.920
<v Speaker 1>it would have been easy for you to blow up.

874
00:45:19.159 --> 00:45:20.639
<v Speaker 1>I can't believe I did this, and know what am

875
00:45:20.639 --> 00:45:22.840
<v Speaker 1>I going to do now? And you just have to

876
00:45:23.239 --> 00:45:26.239
<v Speaker 1>just take a deep breath. Yeah, this is what's happening.

877
00:45:26.360 --> 00:45:29.599
<v Speaker 2>Pays, bro, It pays, It really does. And whether whether

878
00:45:29.639 --> 00:45:32.239
<v Speaker 2>it pays in a thirty six year relationship, and to

879
00:45:32.320 --> 00:45:34.880
<v Speaker 2>this day, Laura and I were still dating, and We're

880
00:45:35.320 --> 00:45:37.920
<v Speaker 2>going to go to Florida for seven days and just

881
00:45:38.039 --> 00:45:40.159
<v Speaker 2>lay in the sun and just enjoy life and enjoy

882
00:45:40.199 --> 00:45:44.039
<v Speaker 2>our marriage and enjoy our friendship, and and you know,

883
00:45:44.159 --> 00:45:50.360
<v Speaker 2>and that happened over time. Obviously, anything that I can

884
00:45:50.440 --> 00:45:53.199
<v Speaker 2>do because I'm usually later on in the day when

885
00:45:53.199 --> 00:45:55.280
<v Speaker 2>I do my ten step, when I take that final

886
00:45:55.360 --> 00:45:57.079
<v Speaker 2>inventory at the end of the day, other than a

887
00:45:57.119 --> 00:46:01.400
<v Speaker 2>spot check. You know, there's nothing worse than looking at

888
00:46:01.480 --> 00:46:04.880
<v Speaker 2>life and thinking I had an opportunity to be a

889
00:46:04.920 --> 00:46:08.400
<v Speaker 2>better version of me, and I missed that opportunity because

890
00:46:08.519 --> 00:46:13.840
<v Speaker 2>I became more important than whatever the circumstance or opportunity was.

891
00:46:14.599 --> 00:46:18.000
<v Speaker 2>And there are opportunities, There are opportunities. In the Big Book,

892
00:46:18.519 --> 00:46:22.719
<v Speaker 2>it says for God to demonstrate his omnipotence in our life,

893
00:46:23.480 --> 00:46:26.519
<v Speaker 2>and either our higher power is our higher power. And

894
00:46:26.559 --> 00:46:29.639
<v Speaker 2>I'm not perfect with this. You know, I've wanted to

895
00:46:29.760 --> 00:46:33.119
<v Speaker 2>murder people in the line at food for less as

896
00:46:33.159 --> 00:46:37.360
<v Speaker 2>much as the next person. But I don't do anything.

897
00:46:37.440 --> 00:46:39.679
<v Speaker 2>I try not to do anything that I have to

898
00:46:39.719 --> 00:46:42.400
<v Speaker 2>go back and I say I'm sorry to, to say

899
00:46:42.400 --> 00:46:47.199
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry to and whether I know them or not,

900
00:46:48.280 --> 00:46:49.960
<v Speaker 2>God knows me, and I know me, and I know

901
00:46:50.039 --> 00:46:53.159
<v Speaker 2>how I ought to be. And when we get to

902
00:46:53.199 --> 00:46:54.920
<v Speaker 2>the end of the day, and said, you know, there

903
00:46:54.960 --> 00:46:58.000
<v Speaker 2>was an opportunity for me to be stupid, and I

904
00:46:58.079 --> 00:47:01.920
<v Speaker 2>decided to trust instead of being you know, engage and

905
00:47:02.000 --> 00:47:04.360
<v Speaker 2>something I can't control, you know, can I control this?

906
00:47:04.679 --> 00:47:08.320
<v Speaker 2>Can I control it? You know? Where where's that divided line?

907
00:47:08.880 --> 00:47:11.679
<v Speaker 2>And obviously, to get upset over things you can control

908
00:47:11.760 --> 00:47:15.960
<v Speaker 2>is fullestness, and to get upset over things that you

909
00:47:16.039 --> 00:47:17.400
<v Speaker 2>can control is just stupid.

910
00:47:18.679 --> 00:47:21.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that was a lesson that I had learned the

911
00:47:21.960 --> 00:47:24.719
<v Speaker 1>hard way in treatment. The last time, I was pretty

912
00:47:24.760 --> 00:47:27.280
<v Speaker 1>much court ordered to go there. I couldn't leave. And

913
00:47:27.280 --> 00:47:28.119
<v Speaker 1>that was my big thing.

914
00:47:28.159 --> 00:47:28.280
<v Speaker 2>Man.

915
00:47:28.280 --> 00:47:30.840
<v Speaker 1>That's why I went to so many treatment centers. Is

916
00:47:30.880 --> 00:47:33.079
<v Speaker 1>I would be there a week and I would have

917
00:47:33.119 --> 00:47:35.920
<v Speaker 1>the of course I'm brilliant, I'm just gonna smoke weed moments,

918
00:47:36.320 --> 00:47:37.599
<v Speaker 1>or you know, I would be like, oh, I just

919
00:47:37.599 --> 00:47:39.000
<v Speaker 1>need to get a job. I just need to make

920
00:47:39.000 --> 00:47:40.320
<v Speaker 1>some money. If I had money to pay my bills,

921
00:47:40.320 --> 00:47:43.519
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't drink. Okay, no that I've had people tell

922
00:47:43.559 --> 00:47:45.719
<v Speaker 1>me that didn't work, and of course it didn't, but

923
00:47:45.800 --> 00:47:47.679
<v Speaker 1>I thought I'd figure it out. Every time. Well, I

924
00:47:47.719 --> 00:47:49.920
<v Speaker 1>was court ordered for ninety days, so I couldn't just leave.

925
00:47:50.320 --> 00:47:52.840
<v Speaker 1>And there was this guy who I hated and I

926
00:47:52.920 --> 00:47:55.000
<v Speaker 1>was in a different treatment center with him, and he annoyed.

927
00:47:55.000 --> 00:47:57.360
<v Speaker 1>I just tried to stay away from him. Well, this

928
00:47:57.400 --> 00:47:59.639
<v Speaker 1>one was as easy to stay away from him. And

929
00:47:59.639 --> 00:48:01.519
<v Speaker 1>he would get into the groups and he would we

930
00:48:01.639 --> 00:48:04.320
<v Speaker 1>call them a hijacker because there was forty people in

931
00:48:04.360 --> 00:48:08.400
<v Speaker 1>a group, and the groups hour and a half. Everybody

932
00:48:08.440 --> 00:48:11.320
<v Speaker 1>has to share, well do the math on that, you know,

933
00:48:11.440 --> 00:48:13.079
<v Speaker 1>like you don't really have a long time, but he

934
00:48:13.119 --> 00:48:16.280
<v Speaker 1>would take up twenty thirty minutes. Not everybody would even

935
00:48:16.320 --> 00:48:18.320
<v Speaker 1>get to share how they felt that day because he

936
00:48:18.400 --> 00:48:21.159
<v Speaker 1>was hijacking the group, talking about how he's got a

937
00:48:21.199 --> 00:48:24.800
<v Speaker 1>grand kid now and how he's gonna never use and

938
00:48:24.960 --> 00:48:27.280
<v Speaker 1>just on and on and on. We'd go outside and

939
00:48:27.360 --> 00:48:29.519
<v Speaker 1>smoke a cigarette and he's out there talking about when

940
00:48:29.559 --> 00:48:30.960
<v Speaker 1>I get back to Battle Creek, I'm gonna be the

941
00:48:31.000 --> 00:48:33.320
<v Speaker 1>biggest meth dealer in Battle Creek because I'm gonna do

942
00:48:33.360 --> 00:48:35.840
<v Speaker 1>this and that, and we're like, dude, And I hated

943
00:48:35.880 --> 00:48:38.800
<v Speaker 1>every minute of them, everything about him. Hated his face,

944
00:48:38.920 --> 00:48:42.360
<v Speaker 1>hated his hair, hated his jacket, hated everything about him.

945
00:48:42.920 --> 00:48:46.639
<v Speaker 1>And I went to the my counselor lady and was like,

946
00:48:46.639 --> 00:48:48.239
<v Speaker 1>you need to switch me groups and she's like no,

947
00:48:49.000 --> 00:48:51.800
<v Speaker 1>and so I was like, yes, you need to. Normally

948
00:48:52.119 --> 00:48:54.159
<v Speaker 1>that's where I would have bounced, all right, I'm out.

949
00:48:54.280 --> 00:48:56.480
<v Speaker 1>That would have been my excuse. Don't don't need a

950
00:48:56.480 --> 00:49:00.000
<v Speaker 1>big one, didn't couldn't find my lighter, couldn't find a lot,

951
00:49:00.280 --> 00:49:02.159
<v Speaker 1>I'm out. I gotta go, you know. And so I

952
00:49:02.199 --> 00:49:04.320
<v Speaker 1>went to this other guy and I was like, look, Stephen,

953
00:49:04.960 --> 00:49:06.840
<v Speaker 1>he was really really good at what he did. And

954
00:49:06.880 --> 00:49:08.719
<v Speaker 1>I was like, Stephen, this guy, I can't be in

955
00:49:08.760 --> 00:49:12.119
<v Speaker 1>a group with them. Could you please explain to homegirl

956
00:49:12.159 --> 00:49:14.320
<v Speaker 1>here that I need to get switched out of that group.

957
00:49:14.639 --> 00:49:17.159
<v Speaker 1>And he's like, well, they're not going to do that,

958
00:49:17.280 --> 00:49:20.599
<v Speaker 1>but you're getting worked up over things that you don't

959
00:49:20.639 --> 00:49:24.679
<v Speaker 1>have control over. And I was like what. He's like, well,

960
00:49:24.719 --> 00:49:28.559
<v Speaker 1>when he goes on his little tangents, what's your job?

961
00:49:29.639 --> 00:49:30.800
<v Speaker 1>I was like, what do you mean? What's my job?

962
00:49:30.840 --> 00:49:32.320
<v Speaker 1>He's like, well, what are you supposed to be doing?

963
00:49:32.719 --> 00:49:34.960
<v Speaker 1>I was supposed to be paying attention. He's like, okay,

964
00:49:35.639 --> 00:49:38.480
<v Speaker 1>but you're not vibing with this guy and what he's saying.

965
00:49:38.519 --> 00:49:40.360
<v Speaker 1>I was like, no, absolutely not. He's like, okay, well,

966
00:49:40.360 --> 00:49:43.760
<v Speaker 1>what can you control? And I was like, oh, puffy

967
00:49:43.800 --> 00:49:47.559
<v Speaker 1>about Look, well I can go take a shit. You can, well,

968
00:49:47.639 --> 00:49:49.880
<v Speaker 1>I take a nap? You can. I was like, I

969
00:49:49.880 --> 00:49:52.000
<v Speaker 1>can color, you can, I can write my mam a letter.

970
00:49:52.039 --> 00:49:54.039
<v Speaker 1>He's like, you can. Those are things you can control.

971
00:49:55.000 --> 00:49:57.679
<v Speaker 1>He's like, it's the group leader's job. It's her job.

972
00:49:57.760 --> 00:50:01.039
<v Speaker 1>She's actually getting paid. It's her job to tell him

973
00:50:01.079 --> 00:50:03.519
<v Speaker 1>to shut up and to move on. You get two minutes,

974
00:50:03.599 --> 00:50:06.239
<v Speaker 1>let's go. You know, like, it's her job. That's not

975
00:50:06.320 --> 00:50:09.159
<v Speaker 1>your job, Corey. You're not here leading group. And I

976
00:50:09.199 --> 00:50:12.920
<v Speaker 1>was like, yeah, I guess you're right. And he's like, you, now,

977
00:50:12.960 --> 00:50:14.519
<v Speaker 1>if you want after group, if you would like to

978
00:50:14.559 --> 00:50:16.800
<v Speaker 1>go to say something in the structure, like hey, can

979
00:50:16.840 --> 00:50:20.280
<v Speaker 1>you please move on from that guy or maybe have

980
00:50:20.360 --> 00:50:24.639
<v Speaker 1>him go last? You could do that. Will she do that?

981
00:50:24.719 --> 00:50:26.079
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. That's up to her, But at least

982
00:50:26.119 --> 00:50:28.559
<v Speaker 1>you those are things that you can do. You have

983
00:50:28.639 --> 00:50:30.960
<v Speaker 1>control over that. You have no control over what comes

984
00:50:30.960 --> 00:50:32.360
<v Speaker 1>out of his mouth. You could go punch him in

985
00:50:32.360 --> 00:50:33.719
<v Speaker 1>the face, but then we're gonna call the cops and

986
00:50:33.719 --> 00:50:35.079
<v Speaker 1>you're gonna go to jail. And I don't think you

987
00:50:35.119 --> 00:50:37.719
<v Speaker 1>want that. He's like, but those are options. Those are

988
00:50:37.719 --> 00:50:39.519
<v Speaker 1>what you can do. Those are things that you have

989
00:50:39.679 --> 00:50:42.960
<v Speaker 1>And I started thinking about it like that and it flipped.

990
00:50:43.119 --> 00:50:46.599
<v Speaker 1>It changed and he came up to me, this guy

991
00:50:46.599 --> 00:50:47.960
<v Speaker 1>that I hated, and he's like, you got a problem

992
00:50:48.000 --> 00:50:50.599
<v Speaker 1>with me, because after two or three days of me

993
00:50:50.679 --> 00:50:55.159
<v Speaker 1>not reacting, it was bugging him like he wanted that

994
00:50:55.199 --> 00:50:56.440
<v Speaker 1>reaction out of me. And he's like, you want to

995
00:50:56.480 --> 00:50:58.760
<v Speaker 1>go outside and fight? And I was like for what

996
00:50:59.559 --> 00:51:01.480
<v Speaker 1>you know? And my friend was in there and he

997
00:51:01.920 --> 00:51:04.840
<v Speaker 1>big guy became friends or whatever. But he's like, I'll

998
00:51:04.840 --> 00:51:06.039
<v Speaker 1>go outside with you, Billy.

999
00:51:06.360 --> 00:51:06.559
<v Speaker 2>You know.

1000
00:51:07.000 --> 00:51:09.440
<v Speaker 1>He's like, no, I don't go outside with you, Ricky.

1001
00:51:09.960 --> 00:51:12.320
<v Speaker 1>He's a big old dude. He's like no. I was like, nah,

1002
00:51:12.360 --> 00:51:14.119
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I'm not going outside with you, man, it's

1003
00:51:14.159 --> 00:51:16.039
<v Speaker 1>not about that. I was like, but if you go

1004
00:51:16.119 --> 00:51:17.880
<v Speaker 1>on your lit tangent again, I'm going to leave the group.

1005
00:51:17.920 --> 00:51:19.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm just letting you know, you know, like that's that's

1006
00:51:19.960 --> 00:51:23.679
<v Speaker 1>that's what I have control over. But it's just things

1007
00:51:23.719 --> 00:51:25.280
<v Speaker 1>like that that you learn along the way, that you

1008
00:51:25.320 --> 00:51:31.039
<v Speaker 1>start putting into play and it just helps and saves

1009
00:51:31.039 --> 00:51:33.159
<v Speaker 1>you embarrassment. It saves you from getting worked up over

1010
00:51:33.280 --> 00:51:34.639
<v Speaker 1>something that you have no control over.

1011
00:51:34.960 --> 00:51:37.800
<v Speaker 2>You know, who's going to win presidents and that's that's

1012
00:51:38.239 --> 00:51:41.159
<v Speaker 2>and that's real good that that counselor said that to you,

1013
00:51:41.239 --> 00:51:44.199
<v Speaker 2>because early on in Vegas they told me it's not

1014
00:51:44.239 --> 00:51:45.920
<v Speaker 2>what they say, it's not what they do, it's how

1015
00:51:45.960 --> 00:51:49.360
<v Speaker 2>you react. Yeah, you know, you don't control what they say,

1016
00:51:49.400 --> 00:51:52.000
<v Speaker 2>you don't control what to do, but you control your reaction.

1017
00:51:52.719 --> 00:51:57.000
<v Speaker 2>And that's been your biggest problem. You reacted to everything, yep,

1018
00:51:57.599 --> 00:51:59.519
<v Speaker 2>And and you throw it all in one basket and

1019
00:51:59.559 --> 00:52:03.119
<v Speaker 2>you have one reaction to what you think is one thing.

1020
00:52:04.000 --> 00:52:06.079
<v Speaker 2>But it's not just one thing. That's a number of things.

1021
00:52:06.119 --> 00:52:09.360
<v Speaker 2>But you decided it needed to be one thing so

1022
00:52:09.440 --> 00:52:14.280
<v Speaker 2>you could drink over everything. And boy, that was a

1023
00:52:15.039 --> 00:52:17.199
<v Speaker 2>you know, I'm so glad that I got sober in

1024
00:52:17.280 --> 00:52:24.840
<v Speaker 2>Las Vegas. You know, I number one Las Vegas. The

1025
00:52:24.880 --> 00:52:31.519
<v Speaker 2>bottom was severe. There's no purgatory, there's no holding pattern.

1026
00:52:32.400 --> 00:52:37.440
<v Speaker 2>You're either you're either you don't have a problem or

1027
00:52:37.480 --> 00:52:46.440
<v Speaker 2>you have a severe problem. You know, alcoholism, drug addiction, pornography, gambling,

1028
00:52:47.760 --> 00:52:51.719
<v Speaker 2>over eating. Because all the great buffets they've got and

1029
00:52:51.880 --> 00:52:55.320
<v Speaker 2>you name it, there's not an addiction, either substance or

1030
00:52:55.440 --> 00:53:00.880
<v Speaker 2>behavioral that does not try to attract you. You know,

1031
00:53:01.239 --> 00:53:04.039
<v Speaker 2>in Vegas and lights and everything is good. Everything is

1032
00:53:04.079 --> 00:53:07.760
<v Speaker 2>twenty four hours a day everything. You never have to wonder, Gosh,

1033
00:53:07.800 --> 00:53:09.599
<v Speaker 2>I can't wait for the slicker store to get open,

1034
00:53:09.679 --> 00:53:11.360
<v Speaker 2>or I can't wait to go meet my drug dealer,

1035
00:53:11.440 --> 00:53:14.159
<v Speaker 2>or I can't go. You know, you want to go

1036
00:53:14.159 --> 00:53:16.119
<v Speaker 2>see a stripper at six am. Go see a stripper

1037
00:53:16.119 --> 00:53:18.760
<v Speaker 2>at six am. There's a club open, you know you

1038
00:53:18.800 --> 00:53:21.880
<v Speaker 2>want to. You want to gamble your paycheck at you know,

1039
00:53:22.159 --> 00:53:25.159
<v Speaker 2>nine o'clock in the morning. There's a place to do that.

1040
00:53:25.559 --> 00:53:27.599
<v Speaker 2>You want to. You want to Scot's on the rocks,

1041
00:53:27.880 --> 00:53:31.079
<v Speaker 2>you know at eight o'clock, eight am, knock yourself out.

1042
00:53:31.119 --> 00:53:33.079
<v Speaker 2>You want to meet your drug dealer at the crab table.

1043
00:53:33.400 --> 00:53:35.760
<v Speaker 2>You know you can get a dose of cocaine. I mean,

1044
00:53:36.039 --> 00:53:39.480
<v Speaker 2>it didn't matter. You know, you want a breakfast buffet,

1045
00:53:39.519 --> 00:53:41.280
<v Speaker 2>you want a lunch buffet, you want a dinner buffet,

1046
00:53:41.320 --> 00:53:43.159
<v Speaker 2>you want to throw up in between? What do you want?

1047
00:53:43.519 --> 00:53:48.400
<v Speaker 2>You know it's there and so so. Even though my

1048
00:53:48.440 --> 00:53:52.440
<v Speaker 2>addictions started in California, where really got a wheels roll

1049
00:53:52.480 --> 00:53:55.559
<v Speaker 2>in the first place I drank. I'd lived in California

1050
00:53:55.599 --> 00:53:59.039
<v Speaker 2>at the time, longer than I'd lived anywhere, but moving

1051
00:53:59.039 --> 00:54:01.920
<v Speaker 2>to Las Vegas, I I tell people it turned a

1052
00:54:02.000 --> 00:54:08.159
<v Speaker 2>fender bender into a head on collision. And I'm grateful

1053
00:54:08.199 --> 00:54:11.960
<v Speaker 2>to Las Vegas because I think a person like me

1054
00:54:13.320 --> 00:54:19.400
<v Speaker 2>needed Las Vegas to crash harder than I would have

1055
00:54:20.280 --> 00:54:25.119
<v Speaker 2>had I not been in Las Vegas. And because I

1056
00:54:25.159 --> 00:54:28.400
<v Speaker 2>had been drinking by the time I got to Las

1057
00:54:28.519 --> 00:54:34.400
<v Speaker 2>Vegas in nineteen eighty, I started where you know in

1058
00:54:34.519 --> 00:54:36.800
<v Speaker 2>Japan they have a phrase, first a man takes a drink,

1059
00:54:36.840 --> 00:54:39.039
<v Speaker 2>then the drink takes a drink, and then the drink

1060
00:54:39.079 --> 00:54:45.239
<v Speaker 2>takes the man. And I think Las Vegas just accelerated

1061
00:54:45.880 --> 00:54:50.280
<v Speaker 2>my timeline and the depth of my addiction better than

1062
00:54:50.360 --> 00:54:53.760
<v Speaker 2>any place could have, I say, better, but faster than

1063
00:54:53.800 --> 00:54:59.039
<v Speaker 2>any place. And so my need for recovery came. And

1064
00:54:59.119 --> 00:55:04.440
<v Speaker 2>instead of I believe for me, instead of dying a slow,

1065
00:55:05.199 --> 00:55:12.480
<v Speaker 2>painful death that addiction can facilitate, I hit a bottom

1066
00:55:12.519 --> 00:55:16.519
<v Speaker 2>I would not have hit anywhere else. Fortunately, in Las Vegas,

1067
00:55:16.639 --> 00:55:21.480
<v Speaker 2>AA is so strong twilve step recovery is as good

1068
00:55:21.599 --> 00:55:25.159
<v Speaker 2>and as foundational as any place I've ever visited across

1069
00:55:25.159 --> 00:55:29.559
<v Speaker 2>the country. And not only was my addiction waiting for

1070
00:55:29.599 --> 00:55:32.000
<v Speaker 2>me before I ride, but AA was waiting for me

1071
00:55:34.599 --> 00:55:38.840
<v Speaker 2>that it was everything I needed when I needed it

1072
00:55:38.880 --> 00:55:41.840
<v Speaker 2>to be, and the strength and the durability and the

1073
00:55:41.880 --> 00:55:45.760
<v Speaker 2>no nonsense approach to recovery was something that someone as

1074
00:55:45.800 --> 00:55:50.119
<v Speaker 2>severely as addicted as I was needed at the time.

1075
00:55:50.360 --> 00:55:54.360
<v Speaker 2>And I'm forever grateful for Las Vegas for its bottom

1076
00:55:55.239 --> 00:55:59.079
<v Speaker 2>that only Las Vegas could provide and the recovery that

1077
00:55:59.239 --> 00:56:02.480
<v Speaker 2>was waiting for me when I finally said enough is enough.

1078
00:56:03.760 --> 00:56:05.239
<v Speaker 1>And you live in Utah now, right?

1079
00:56:05.800 --> 00:56:06.159
<v Speaker 2>I do?

1080
00:56:06.360 --> 00:56:06.719
<v Speaker 4>I do.

1081
00:56:06.760 --> 00:56:14.159
<v Speaker 2>I live in Salt Lake City, very active, still have Rufus. No,

1082
00:56:14.320 --> 00:56:16.599
<v Speaker 2>thank you for asking about Rufus died a couple of

1083
00:56:16.679 --> 00:56:20.360
<v Speaker 2>years ago. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that we missed Rufus.

1084
00:56:20.400 --> 00:56:23.440
<v Speaker 2>We tried to get another dog and that didn't go

1085
00:56:23.519 --> 00:56:25.760
<v Speaker 2>too well. Fortunately we're able to give the dog away

1086
00:56:25.760 --> 00:56:29.800
<v Speaker 2>and give them a good home and I will be dogless. Unfortunately,

1087
00:56:31.599 --> 00:56:34.199
<v Speaker 2>I just don't have time, unfortunately to give the dog

1088
00:56:34.320 --> 00:56:37.599
<v Speaker 2>the attention. Low works a lot and allows me to

1089
00:56:37.639 --> 00:56:40.320
<v Speaker 2>do what I do, and so I'm super active in

1090
00:56:40.400 --> 00:56:44.079
<v Speaker 2>twelve step recovering, my traveling and my speaking and my podcast,

1091
00:56:44.239 --> 00:56:49.199
<v Speaker 2>and I'll be in Idaho in February. I'm back in California.

1092
00:56:49.239 --> 00:56:53.280
<v Speaker 2>I just was in California Treatment Center of Recovery, Alma Club,

1093
00:56:53.360 --> 00:56:57.519
<v Speaker 2>and I'm speaking three times I'm secretary in a Saturday

1094
00:56:57.719 --> 00:57:00.960
<v Speaker 2>meaning or chairing a Saturday Act meaning speaker meeting, and

1095
00:57:00.960 --> 00:57:04.440
<v Speaker 2>and just really getting some good recovery brusive service, you know.

1096
00:57:04.480 --> 00:57:09.079
<v Speaker 2>And that's what's really great. You know, being sober as

1097
00:57:09.079 --> 00:57:10.960
<v Speaker 2>long as I've been sober has really opened a lot

1098
00:57:11.000 --> 00:57:15.239
<v Speaker 2>of doors for me that I that have been open

1099
00:57:15.360 --> 00:57:17.719
<v Speaker 2>just because they can't believe that a guy is sober

1100
00:57:17.760 --> 00:57:21.639
<v Speaker 2>as long as me, you know, is still wanting, you know,

1101
00:57:21.719 --> 00:57:24.800
<v Speaker 2>to serve and and and guys like you and me, Corey,

1102
00:57:24.800 --> 00:57:26.960
<v Speaker 2>we don't know how not to serve you. You got

1103
00:57:26.960 --> 00:57:28.920
<v Speaker 2>to you got to say we don't want you. And

1104
00:57:28.960 --> 00:57:30.599
<v Speaker 2>then I'll say, really, come.

1105
00:57:30.480 --> 00:57:35.239
<v Speaker 1>On there anyway, you know there might as well use me.

1106
00:57:36.039 --> 00:57:38.840
<v Speaker 2>That's right, I'm here. You know, you might not like

1107
00:57:38.920 --> 00:57:41.079
<v Speaker 2>my experience struct and hopeing. I got a lot of it.

1108
00:57:41.119 --> 00:57:44.360
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's going to reach one person, man, guy

1109
00:57:44.400 --> 00:57:44.880
<v Speaker 1>out there.

1110
00:57:45.000 --> 00:57:47.800
<v Speaker 2>You know what you know, Gosh, you said that more

1111
00:57:47.800 --> 00:57:52.239
<v Speaker 2>than once. And there was a treatment center and then

1112
00:57:52.280 --> 00:57:54.440
<v Speaker 2>I've been the alumni speaking there a couple of times,

1113
00:57:54.519 --> 00:57:57.159
<v Speaker 2>and and I went back when I was speaking in

1114
00:57:57.199 --> 00:57:59.880
<v Speaker 2>California just recently, I called up this treatments and I said,

1115
00:58:00.039 --> 00:58:03.079
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to be in town, and Daniel, the CEO

1116
00:58:03.119 --> 00:58:05.000
<v Speaker 2>of this treatment center, is really nice to me. Hey,

1117
00:58:05.039 --> 00:58:06.760
<v Speaker 2>anytime you're in town, come and you can get in

1118
00:58:06.800 --> 00:58:09.519
<v Speaker 2>front of our male and female population. So this one

1119
00:58:09.519 --> 00:58:12.719
<v Speaker 2>particular time I was there because again the rule of third,

1120
00:58:12.840 --> 00:58:16.440
<v Speaker 2>you never know who you're going to touch. So so

1121
00:58:18.239 --> 00:58:20.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm speaking. I spoke at this treatment center on Friday

1122
00:58:21.000 --> 00:58:25.320
<v Speaker 2>in classroom setting. So Saturday, I'm the alumni speaker speaking

1123
00:58:25.320 --> 00:58:28.760
<v Speaker 2>everyone who's graduated from the program on a Saturday afternoon.

1124
00:58:28.800 --> 00:58:31.119
<v Speaker 2>And I got there early just to get a feel

1125
00:58:31.199 --> 00:58:33.800
<v Speaker 2>for a lay of the land, you know, and the landscape.

1126
00:58:34.079 --> 00:58:36.760
<v Speaker 2>And I saw this girl changing trash cans and that

1127
00:58:36.920 --> 00:58:40.480
<v Speaker 2>was her chore that morning at the stream and Center.

1128
00:58:40.519 --> 00:58:42.559
<v Speaker 2>And I said, hey, I remember you from yesterday and

1129
00:58:44.039 --> 00:58:46.920
<v Speaker 2>she said, yeah, you know, she said, you know, this

1130
00:58:47.000 --> 00:58:49.639
<v Speaker 2>is a ninety day program and I was on day

1131
00:58:49.880 --> 00:58:52.480
<v Speaker 2>sixty or whatever it was. She said, And I was

1132
00:58:52.519 --> 00:58:55.880
<v Speaker 2>going to leave yesterday. Mind jo, I'm talking to sixty

1133
00:58:55.880 --> 00:58:59.639
<v Speaker 2>women having the asket basket, you know, just answering questions

1134
00:58:59.639 --> 00:59:02.760
<v Speaker 2>on the floor. And she said, I was going to

1135
00:59:02.840 --> 00:59:07.599
<v Speaker 2>leave yesterday, but I decided to stay the full ninety days.

1136
00:59:08.000 --> 00:59:10.400
<v Speaker 2>Would you like to meet my husband and my children,

1137
00:59:11.679 --> 00:59:17.760
<v Speaker 2>and man, she was my trip, Corey everything, every other

1138
00:59:17.880 --> 00:59:25.199
<v Speaker 2>reason I knew, I knew why I was there. I

1139
00:59:25.280 --> 00:59:29.239
<v Speaker 2>wasn't there for one hundred and twenty people I would

1140
00:59:29.239 --> 00:59:32.400
<v Speaker 2>see on Friday. I wasn't there for the two hundred

1141
00:59:32.400 --> 00:59:35.000
<v Speaker 2>and fifty I would talk to on Saturday. I was

1142
00:59:35.000 --> 00:59:39.280
<v Speaker 2>there for that one person. And if God would have

1143
00:59:39.320 --> 00:59:41.960
<v Speaker 2>taken me home in that moment, my life would have

1144
00:59:41.960 --> 00:59:45.679
<v Speaker 2>been complete. You know what I mean. I mean when

1145
00:59:45.719 --> 00:59:53.119
<v Speaker 2>we when that one person is affected as you and

1146
00:59:53.159 --> 00:59:58.480
<v Speaker 2>I were affected, when we knew we never had to

1147
00:59:58.519 --> 01:00:05.360
<v Speaker 2>return to that nonsense again. We were changed, man. And

1148
01:00:05.400 --> 01:00:10.199
<v Speaker 2>when when we can say something or do something or

1149
01:00:10.239 --> 01:00:13.880
<v Speaker 2>be an example of what recovery is to make a person,

1150
01:00:14.320 --> 01:00:20.079
<v Speaker 2>that help facilitate a person staying when they wanted to leave, Dude,

1151
01:00:20.119 --> 01:00:24.079
<v Speaker 2>that's that's the greatest feeling. It's just like, take me

1152
01:00:24.119 --> 01:00:25.880
<v Speaker 2>home now, God, because it's not going to get any

1153
01:00:25.920 --> 01:00:30.159
<v Speaker 2>better than this. It's and that's what we live for. Man.

1154
01:00:30.679 --> 01:00:32.599
<v Speaker 1>Like I said, we could bottle it up, but we can't.

1155
01:00:33.280 --> 01:00:39.159
<v Speaker 1>And just when you see it flipping people, when you

1156
01:00:39.199 --> 01:00:42.840
<v Speaker 1>see them make the changes, and it's it's so rewarding.

1157
01:00:42.880 --> 01:00:46.880
<v Speaker 1>It's beyond money. It's beyond anything, and it's it's a

1158
01:00:47.079 --> 01:00:52.119
<v Speaker 1>soul fulfilling thing that we do, you know, and we

1159
01:00:52.159 --> 01:00:54.280
<v Speaker 1>want more of it, you know. And some people like

1160
01:00:54.280 --> 01:00:58.320
<v Speaker 1>you're addicted to recovery. Okay, Yeah, it's working out pretty

1161
01:00:58.320 --> 01:01:00.480
<v Speaker 1>good for me, you know, Like I don't know. I

1162
01:01:00.480 --> 01:01:03.159
<v Speaker 1>look back now and I go, which, of course I

1163
01:01:03.679 --> 01:01:05.840
<v Speaker 1>know why because God was trying to show me this

1164
01:01:05.920 --> 01:01:07.920
<v Speaker 1>is what you need to do. But if I would

1165
01:01:07.920 --> 01:01:10.639
<v Speaker 1>have just listened before, you know, like, why did I

1166
01:01:10.679 --> 01:01:11.800
<v Speaker 1>fight it so hard?

1167
01:01:11.920 --> 01:01:12.119
<v Speaker 2>Man?

1168
01:01:12.880 --> 01:01:15.320
<v Speaker 1>Alcohol didn't make me run faster, didn't make me better

1169
01:01:15.360 --> 01:01:18.920
<v Speaker 1>on the radio, it didn't do anything good in my life.

1170
01:01:19.599 --> 01:01:22.039
<v Speaker 1>Why did I fight it so hard? You know? And

1171
01:01:22.079 --> 01:01:24.000
<v Speaker 1>that's the addiction part of it. And that's how I

1172
01:01:24.079 --> 01:01:26.360
<v Speaker 1>kind of explained to people too, And that's that's a

1173
01:01:26.400 --> 01:01:28.480
<v Speaker 1>good way for it to make sense to them, you know.

1174
01:01:28.719 --> 01:01:32.119
<v Speaker 1>And my sister is or isn't going through a thing.

1175
01:01:32.239 --> 01:01:34.000
<v Speaker 1>She has to figure it out on her own, you know.

1176
01:01:34.039 --> 01:01:35.679
<v Speaker 1>Mom was like, oh, talk to her, talk to her.

1177
01:01:35.840 --> 01:01:38.199
<v Speaker 1>What she's want to hear it? You know, like if

1178
01:01:38.199 --> 01:01:39.559
<v Speaker 1>you don't have a problem, you don't have a problem,

1179
01:01:39.679 --> 01:01:42.840
<v Speaker 1>right right, But my phone's here, she can call me

1180
01:01:42.880 --> 01:01:45.159
<v Speaker 1>whatever she wants, you know, And As long as she

1181
01:01:45.159 --> 01:01:47.760
<v Speaker 1>doesn't ask me for money for my nephew's baseball team,

1182
01:01:48.039 --> 01:01:51.199
<v Speaker 1>I'm good. I was like, if you want to ask

1183
01:01:51.239 --> 01:01:53.079
<v Speaker 1>people for money, you can come work for my nonprofit.

1184
01:01:53.119 --> 01:01:54.599
<v Speaker 1>But you got to be sober, you know, like you

1185
01:01:54.639 --> 01:01:57.719
<v Speaker 1>got to be in recovery. And she's like, oh, well yeah,

1186
01:01:57.920 --> 01:02:01.800
<v Speaker 1>But my point is though, to try to talk to

1187
01:02:01.840 --> 01:02:03.519
<v Speaker 1>somebody who doesn't want to hear it, it's kind of

1188
01:02:03.639 --> 01:02:06.119
<v Speaker 1>like okay, But to be around, to be available for

1189
01:02:06.199 --> 01:02:09.320
<v Speaker 1>when they do need it, that's what we can do.

1190
01:02:09.719 --> 01:02:12.119
<v Speaker 1>You know, there are some people we're just stage two

1191
01:02:12.159 --> 01:02:14.000
<v Speaker 1>on their journey and they got ten more to go.

1192
01:02:14.760 --> 01:02:16.800
<v Speaker 1>They'll remember it just like I did, just like you did.

1193
01:02:16.880 --> 01:02:19.639
<v Speaker 1>You know, we might have not just fell right into it.

1194
01:02:19.679 --> 01:02:22.960
<v Speaker 1>And yeah, I get it, but it takes this guy,

1195
01:02:23.119 --> 01:02:26.760
<v Speaker 1>that guy, this woman, that person, this preacher, that other guy.

1196
01:02:27.480 --> 01:02:29.280
<v Speaker 1>You just take it all and then finally when you

1197
01:02:29.320 --> 01:02:31.840
<v Speaker 1>can just put it on the table and just scoop

1198
01:02:31.840 --> 01:02:33.800
<v Speaker 1>it all up to you and go, let's just take

1199
01:02:33.840 --> 01:02:37.920
<v Speaker 1>all this in and let's start trying this way. And

1200
01:02:37.960 --> 01:02:41.599
<v Speaker 1>when it flips for you, when it becomes why would

1201
01:02:41.599 --> 01:02:44.920
<v Speaker 1>I drink today? That's a horrible idea. You start patting

1202
01:02:44.960 --> 01:02:46.639
<v Speaker 1>yourself on the back. There was a guy in AA

1203
01:02:46.719 --> 01:02:48.719
<v Speaker 1>meeting that was like, I'm tired of people patting themselves

1204
01:02:48.800 --> 01:02:50.440
<v Speaker 1>on the back for stuff they should be doing anyway.

1205
01:02:50.440 --> 01:02:53.320
<v Speaker 1>And I raised my hands and I got to man,

1206
01:02:53.360 --> 01:02:55.840
<v Speaker 1>because the old me wouldn't have done that. The old

1207
01:02:55.880 --> 01:02:59.000
<v Speaker 1>me would have not seen those red flags, started dating

1208
01:02:59.000 --> 01:03:00.840
<v Speaker 1>this person started doing that. That would have been the

1209
01:03:00.840 --> 01:03:03.320
<v Speaker 1>old me. I pat myself on the back because I

1210
01:03:03.360 --> 01:03:06.599
<v Speaker 1>caught myself and I am changing, you know. And when

1211
01:03:06.639 --> 01:03:08.639
<v Speaker 1>I see those changes in myself, hell yeah, I'm gonna

1212
01:03:08.639 --> 01:03:11.159
<v Speaker 1>pat myself on the back. Just because you think I

1213
01:03:11.159 --> 01:03:14.159
<v Speaker 1>shouldn't be doing it anyway. That's your opinion, you know,

1214
01:03:14.480 --> 01:03:16.400
<v Speaker 1>and I have nothing I can do about that. But

1215
01:03:16.480 --> 01:03:18.639
<v Speaker 1>for me, I'm going to pat myself on the back,

1216
01:03:19.880 --> 01:03:20.079
<v Speaker 1>you know.

1217
01:03:20.159 --> 01:03:24.039
<v Speaker 2>And that's one of the reasons that I call myself

1218
01:03:24.039 --> 01:03:29.119
<v Speaker 2>a recovered alcoholic. And that's mainly because I read the book, right.

1219
01:03:29.719 --> 01:03:31.920
<v Speaker 2>I read the forward to the first edition and tells

1220
01:03:31.960 --> 01:03:34.199
<v Speaker 2>me I've recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind

1221
01:03:34.239 --> 01:03:37.239
<v Speaker 2>and body to show others how we have recovered as

1222
01:03:37.320 --> 01:03:40.400
<v Speaker 2>precisely why we wrote this book. Then it goes on

1223
01:03:40.400 --> 01:03:42.840
<v Speaker 2>to say, we hope this book is so convincing that

1224
01:03:42.880 --> 01:03:47.920
<v Speaker 2>no further authentication is necessary. So you know, what else

1225
01:03:47.920 --> 01:03:51.039
<v Speaker 2>do you have to do? But it's interesting because I'm

1226
01:03:51.079 --> 01:03:53.360
<v Speaker 2>going to digress a little bit to back what you

1227
01:03:53.440 --> 01:03:56.280
<v Speaker 2>said in terms of being a person of recovery. And

1228
01:03:58.039 --> 01:04:01.239
<v Speaker 2>there was a person who I remembered them from the

1229
01:04:01.239 --> 01:04:06.559
<v Speaker 2>podium early on in my journey, and they said their

1230
01:04:06.599 --> 01:04:10.360
<v Speaker 2>middle name was more m Ore. My middle name is

1231
01:04:10.360 --> 01:04:13.800
<v Speaker 2>more and blah blah blah. And they said, when I

1232
01:04:13.840 --> 01:04:15.400
<v Speaker 2>was out there ripping and running, when I was out

1233
01:04:15.400 --> 01:04:17.400
<v Speaker 2>there drinking and using a horn around and all the

1234
01:04:17.440 --> 01:04:19.679
<v Speaker 2>things that we do to make our feel good feel good,

1235
01:04:20.440 --> 01:04:23.920
<v Speaker 2>he said, it was more of everything else. It was

1236
01:04:23.960 --> 01:04:26.199
<v Speaker 2>more drugs, It was more alcohol, it was more sex,

1237
01:04:26.239 --> 01:04:28.360
<v Speaker 2>it was more gambling. It was more this, more that,

1238
01:04:28.440 --> 01:04:30.719
<v Speaker 2>more and more, more and more and more. He said.

1239
01:04:31.519 --> 01:04:34.239
<v Speaker 2>I came to believe that I'm a person of more.

1240
01:04:34.360 --> 01:04:38.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm a person of excess. So now my more is

1241
01:04:38.840 --> 01:04:43.519
<v Speaker 2>still more. It's what the more is that's different. I

1242
01:04:43.559 --> 01:04:47.000
<v Speaker 2>didn't have to change the more because that's dialed into

1243
01:04:47.039 --> 01:04:51.920
<v Speaker 2>my personality type. I'm a person who appreciates excessiveness and

1244
01:04:51.920 --> 01:04:56.639
<v Speaker 2>and and more is my middle name, So I adopted that.

1245
01:04:57.320 --> 01:05:03.320
<v Speaker 2>So my middle name is more, and it's more recovery, more, big, book,

1246
01:05:03.679 --> 01:05:11.519
<v Speaker 2>more twelve step, more, service, more, serving, more God more

1247
01:05:11.679 --> 01:05:15.239
<v Speaker 2>everything that really makes me feel good, feel good. I

1248
01:05:15.280 --> 01:05:19.599
<v Speaker 2>do everything to excess. I still do everything alcoholically. It's

1249
01:05:19.679 --> 01:05:23.719
<v Speaker 2>what I do alcoholically. See, I can be treated or

1250
01:05:23.719 --> 01:05:26.840
<v Speaker 2>I can be untreated. And when I was untreated, you

1251
01:05:27.000 --> 01:05:31.119
<v Speaker 2>best believe I did everything alcoholically. Well, I still do,

1252
01:05:31.920 --> 01:05:36.400
<v Speaker 2>but I just do everything alcoholically as a treated alcoholic.

1253
01:05:37.400 --> 01:05:40.880
<v Speaker 2>And I make no apologies for being a recovered alcoholic.

1254
01:05:41.519 --> 01:05:43.599
<v Speaker 2>I had to make apologies left and right for being

1255
01:05:43.639 --> 01:05:48.639
<v Speaker 2>an untreated alcoholic. So when people say, well, who's counting, well,

1256
01:05:48.679 --> 01:05:52.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm freaking counting. I counted every day when I was

1257
01:05:52.920 --> 01:05:55.639
<v Speaker 2>out there and read more. How can I do this

1258
01:05:55.679 --> 01:06:00.280
<v Speaker 2>one more time? How can I disappoint? My daughter was

1259
01:06:00.320 --> 01:06:06.360
<v Speaker 2>critical of me minute by minute. Sometimes I'm taking credit

1260
01:06:06.719 --> 01:06:10.519
<v Speaker 2>on behalf of God for every day I'm sober. So

1261
01:06:11.199 --> 01:06:14.199
<v Speaker 2>people don't want to count. I'm a counter. I encounted

1262
01:06:14.239 --> 01:06:16.559
<v Speaker 2>everything when I was out there. Trust me, I'm counting

1263
01:06:16.599 --> 01:06:19.400
<v Speaker 2>everything in here because every day is a gift. And

1264
01:06:19.400 --> 01:06:22.199
<v Speaker 2>why wouldn't you count a gift? Doesn't make any sense

1265
01:06:22.199 --> 01:06:25.880
<v Speaker 2>to me, And I am a logical person. I like

1266
01:06:25.960 --> 01:06:29.239
<v Speaker 2>to figure it out. I like to. I like to

1267
01:06:30.159 --> 01:06:35.079
<v Speaker 2>understand everything that's happened to me, you know, because I

1268
01:06:35.119 --> 01:06:38.760
<v Speaker 2>want to. I want to articulate what's happened. I want to.

1269
01:06:39.639 --> 01:06:43.159
<v Speaker 2>I'm not satisfied with just having dots on a page.

1270
01:06:43.199 --> 01:06:45.960
<v Speaker 2>I want the dots to be sorted. I want the

1271
01:06:46.039 --> 01:06:48.800
<v Speaker 2>dots to when you connect all those dots. I wanted

1272
01:06:48.840 --> 01:06:51.639
<v Speaker 2>to show a picture of recovery, and then I wanted

1273
01:06:51.639 --> 01:06:55.159
<v Speaker 2>to color in because it's that color. It says when

1274
01:06:55.199 --> 01:06:59.480
<v Speaker 2>newcomers outsiders are often amazed when we burst into merriment

1275
01:06:59.519 --> 01:07:02.440
<v Speaker 2>over a sea manly tragic situations says, But why shouldn't

1276
01:07:02.440 --> 01:07:06.119
<v Speaker 2>we laugh? For we have been we have recovered and

1277
01:07:06.199 --> 01:07:09.519
<v Speaker 2>be given the ability to help others. And that's what.

1278
01:07:10.000 --> 01:07:12.360
<v Speaker 2>And if people don't see me as happy, joys and free,

1279
01:07:12.400 --> 01:07:15.079
<v Speaker 2>if they don't see you and the people who work

1280
01:07:15.079 --> 01:07:18.599
<v Speaker 2>in your association as really being excited, why would they

1281
01:07:18.599 --> 01:07:21.559
<v Speaker 2>want it? I mean, every now and then, we were

1282
01:07:21.559 --> 01:07:25.480
<v Speaker 2>able to achieve mediocrity when we were out there. But no,

1283
01:07:26.119 --> 01:07:30.239
<v Speaker 2>we've chosen a way where we're happy, we're joyous, and

1284
01:07:30.280 --> 01:07:34.920
<v Speaker 2>we're free. We insist on enjoying life, The Big Book says,

1285
01:07:35.199 --> 01:07:37.480
<v Speaker 2>And if the Big Book says it you can trust

1286
01:07:37.679 --> 01:07:39.599
<v Speaker 2>I'm all in. I'm in the deep end of the pool,

1287
01:07:40.000 --> 01:07:41.360
<v Speaker 2>swimming as fast as I can.

1288
01:07:45.159 --> 01:07:51.280
<v Speaker 1>The part about having fun is something that we really

1289
01:07:51.320 --> 01:07:55.159
<v Speaker 1>embrace here, and it goes back to when I was

1290
01:07:55.159 --> 01:07:57.039
<v Speaker 1>working at a treatment center. Actually goes back to when

1291
01:07:57.039 --> 01:07:59.039
<v Speaker 1>I was in a treatment center as one of the

1292
01:07:59.039 --> 01:08:02.000
<v Speaker 1>mental So I was in mental behavioral health what are

1293
01:08:02.000 --> 01:08:05.199
<v Speaker 1>you want to call it. They were like, all right,

1294
01:08:05.320 --> 01:08:07.519
<v Speaker 1>let's play games. And I'm like, I don't play a game.

1295
01:08:07.559 --> 01:08:10.239
<v Speaker 1>I was like, no game I like is pictionary. And

1296
01:08:10.280 --> 01:08:12.960
<v Speaker 1>the lady's like, okay, well I'll write safe words on here,

1297
01:08:13.000 --> 01:08:14.440
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, we don't want to know safe words,

1298
01:08:14.440 --> 01:08:16.640
<v Speaker 1>you know. So she did like ice cream cone and

1299
01:08:16.680 --> 01:08:19.039
<v Speaker 1>stuff like that. But we did it. It was fun when

1300
01:08:19.039 --> 01:08:21.239
<v Speaker 1>I started working at the treatment center and I was like, hey, guys,

1301
01:08:21.319 --> 01:08:24.359
<v Speaker 1>like we did it one week because like these cooking

1302
01:08:24.399 --> 01:08:28.039
<v Speaker 1>shows were big, and I was like, hey, let's there's

1303
01:08:28.079 --> 01:08:30.439
<v Speaker 1>a cold kitchen downstairs with the food that you guys

1304
01:08:30.439 --> 01:08:33.520
<v Speaker 1>can make. Like, let who's in who wants to do

1305
01:08:33.600 --> 01:08:35.840
<v Speaker 1>a little cook off? You know, I'll give you the ingredients.

1306
01:08:35.880 --> 01:08:37.600
<v Speaker 1>You guys got to whip something up, and they had

1307
01:08:37.600 --> 01:08:42.079
<v Speaker 1>a blast and then I decided, well, let's let's do pictionary,

1308
01:08:42.239 --> 01:08:45.640
<v Speaker 1>you know. And it was X rated pictionary pretty much,

1309
01:08:45.880 --> 01:08:48.039
<v Speaker 1>you know. I got guys drawn wieners on the board

1310
01:08:48.039 --> 01:08:52.279
<v Speaker 1>and stuff. But they laughed so hard, and I heard

1311
01:08:52.319 --> 01:08:53.920
<v Speaker 1>it so many times of like, oh my god, I

1312
01:08:53.960 --> 01:08:56.680
<v Speaker 1>don't remember last time I laughed so hard sober, and

1313
01:08:56.760 --> 01:08:58.560
<v Speaker 1>I'd have to remind them, when's the last time you

1314
01:08:58.640 --> 01:09:02.039
<v Speaker 1>laughed so hard when you were messed up up? Yeah,

1315
01:09:02.079 --> 01:09:05.399
<v Speaker 1>And then thought about it and they're like, yeah, like yeah,

1316
01:09:05.439 --> 01:09:07.279
<v Speaker 1>I don't think i've you know, it's been a lot

1317
01:09:07.359 --> 01:09:08.960
<v Speaker 1>time since I've laughed, you know. And I'm like, well,

1318
01:09:09.000 --> 01:09:11.239
<v Speaker 1>and you are sober and you can laugh and we

1319
01:09:11.239 --> 01:09:14.279
<v Speaker 1>can have fun. And still to this day, I'll have

1320
01:09:14.359 --> 01:09:17.279
<v Speaker 1>people come up to me and they'm like, hey, remember me.

1321
01:09:18.399 --> 01:09:20.000
<v Speaker 1>Happened this on Sunday, And I'm like I have. His

1322
01:09:20.079 --> 01:09:22.359
<v Speaker 1>face looked very familiar, and I was like, yeah, I

1323
01:09:22.399 --> 01:09:24.279
<v Speaker 1>remember you, and he was like, yeah, I was in

1324
01:09:24.319 --> 01:09:26.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, Dakowski and he worked there and we played pictionary.

1325
01:09:26.600 --> 01:09:28.399
<v Speaker 1>He was like, man, I laughed my ass. I was

1326
01:09:28.439 --> 01:09:30.119
<v Speaker 1>telling her about it. He's with his girlfriend, you know.

1327
01:09:30.119 --> 01:09:31.560
<v Speaker 1>He's like I was telling her about it, you know,

1328
01:09:31.600 --> 01:09:34.920
<v Speaker 1>And man, she didn't quite put it together, but you

1329
01:09:35.000 --> 01:09:36.880
<v Speaker 1>had to be there, I guess, you know. And I'm like, yeah,

1330
01:09:37.000 --> 01:09:39.760
<v Speaker 1>because we were. We were doing some fun stuff and

1331
01:09:40.159 --> 01:09:41.880
<v Speaker 1>it was just out of the box. And normally, like

1332
01:09:41.960 --> 01:09:43.479
<v Speaker 1>when the new guys would come in and they're like,

1333
01:09:43.560 --> 01:09:47.920
<v Speaker 1>all right, it's Friday, Cory's here doing pictionary. Yeah, and

1334
01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:51.039
<v Speaker 1>the new guy would be like playing pictionary and they're like, yeah,

1335
01:09:51.079 --> 01:09:53.720
<v Speaker 1>you got to call man, it's so much fun. New

1336
01:09:53.760 --> 01:09:56.399
<v Speaker 1>guy'd be like okay, and then he'd go in and

1337
01:09:56.720 --> 01:09:59.239
<v Speaker 1>he'd be laughing right along with it, and you know,

1338
01:09:59.439 --> 01:10:01.640
<v Speaker 1>like but it's just little things like that, little moments

1339
01:10:01.640 --> 01:10:03.479
<v Speaker 1>that you can bring to the table. And unfortunately they

1340
01:10:03.479 --> 01:10:05.359
<v Speaker 1>don't do that stuff now there. And I guess after

1341
01:10:05.439 --> 01:10:08.000
<v Speaker 1>I left, then another guy tried it and they're like, yeah,

1342
01:10:08.119 --> 01:10:10.920
<v Speaker 1>you can't be doing pictionary, man, Like, probably shouldn't let

1343
01:10:10.960 --> 01:10:13.039
<v Speaker 1>Corey do that. You know, some of that stuffs inappropriate,

1344
01:10:13.079 --> 01:10:15.439
<v Speaker 1>you know, And I'm like, I don't know. It's funny though,

1345
01:10:15.920 --> 01:10:19.479
<v Speaker 1>And I don't know what someone's gonna draw. You know,

1346
01:10:19.600 --> 01:10:22.640
<v Speaker 1>Like one time I put therapist on there and I

1347
01:10:22.760 --> 01:10:25.760
<v Speaker 1>thought that was a pretty safe word. Well he draws

1348
01:10:25.840 --> 01:10:28.560
<v Speaker 1>like this person getting bent over a desk and I'm like,

1349
01:10:28.600 --> 01:10:30.119
<v Speaker 1>what are you doing? Like, what do you do with

1350
01:10:30.119 --> 01:10:32.079
<v Speaker 1>your therapist here? And he's like, oh, I thought it

1351
01:10:32.159 --> 01:10:34.199
<v Speaker 1>was the rapist and I was like, oh my god.

1352
01:10:34.800 --> 01:10:37.399
<v Speaker 1>I was like, okay, that's a simple mistake. I mean,

1353
01:10:37.439 --> 01:10:39.279
<v Speaker 1>I guess if you just space it out, you know,

1354
01:10:39.600 --> 01:10:42.000
<v Speaker 1>that's what it is. But yeah, I mean it was

1355
01:10:42.039 --> 01:10:44.279
<v Speaker 1>just like, oh my gosh, like but it was funny

1356
01:10:44.279 --> 01:10:47.399
<v Speaker 1>and we're all dying and then we what did I

1357
01:10:47.399 --> 01:10:49.159
<v Speaker 1>I put something up there? I don't even remember, but

1358
01:10:49.399 --> 01:10:51.760
<v Speaker 1>it was so much fun and people would interpret different

1359
01:10:51.760 --> 01:10:53.479
<v Speaker 1>words and then so we had a little thing where

1360
01:10:53.479 --> 01:10:54.840
<v Speaker 1>they would call me in the hallway if they didn't

1361
01:10:54.840 --> 01:10:56.319
<v Speaker 1>know what it was, you know, and I'm like, okay,

1362
01:10:56.359 --> 01:10:58.600
<v Speaker 1>this is what it is, you know, And I don't know.

1363
01:10:58.680 --> 01:11:01.039
<v Speaker 1>But it was just a good time and create that

1364
01:11:01.359 --> 01:11:03.640
<v Speaker 1>fun atmosphere to get people to laugh. And we do

1365
01:11:03.720 --> 01:11:06.640
<v Speaker 1>an event every month here we go to which really

1366
01:11:06.680 --> 01:11:08.319
<v Speaker 1>wasn't that fun. I mean it was fun. We went

1367
01:11:08.359 --> 01:11:10.399
<v Speaker 1>to a Tigers game. They're just not very good. I

1368
01:11:10.399 --> 01:11:13.119
<v Speaker 1>mean they're not the White Sox, so hey that's good.

1369
01:11:13.239 --> 01:11:16.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, thank goodness, they're not the Guardian. Yeah. Have

1370
01:11:16.680 --> 01:11:18.920
<v Speaker 2>they won thirty four games this year or something crazy.

1371
01:11:18.960 --> 01:11:20.920
<v Speaker 1>Gosh, I mean they're bad. Like, I kind of want

1372
01:11:20.920 --> 01:11:22.680
<v Speaker 1>to get some autographs from that team because I think

1373
01:11:22.680 --> 01:11:27.279
<v Speaker 1>it could be worth something, you know, lose some more games,

1374
01:11:27.479 --> 01:11:29.800
<v Speaker 1>maybe get the record. I don't know if that's even possible,

1375
01:11:29.800 --> 01:11:32.479
<v Speaker 1>but I know they're a horrible team. But we went

1376
01:11:32.520 --> 01:11:35.279
<v Speaker 1>to a Lions game. Now we can't get tickets to

1377
01:11:35.279 --> 01:11:36.199
<v Speaker 1>the Lions because.

1378
01:11:36.039 --> 01:11:38.960
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, everybody loves that. There's supposed to be one

1379
01:11:38.960 --> 01:11:45.239
<v Speaker 2>of the number one teams to give along with San Francisco,

1380
01:11:45.279 --> 01:11:49.079
<v Speaker 2>according to PTI, along with San Francisco, to give the

1381
01:11:49.159 --> 01:11:50.560
<v Speaker 2>Chiefs a run for their money.

1382
01:11:50.680 --> 01:11:53.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, the Ravens. Yeah, it'll it'll be good. But two

1383
01:11:53.960 --> 01:11:56.199
<v Speaker 1>years ago they were just on the come up. I

1384
01:11:56.199 --> 01:11:58.399
<v Speaker 1>think they just missed the playoffs but one game. But

1385
01:11:58.439 --> 01:12:00.720
<v Speaker 1>they gave us some gray seats Lions, did you know,

1386
01:12:00.760 --> 01:12:02.960
<v Speaker 1>And it's like, wow, that's awesome. And then since they

1387
01:12:02.960 --> 01:12:05.359
<v Speaker 1>didn't give us tickets last year, they're like, we're sold out,

1388
01:12:05.359 --> 01:12:06.960
<v Speaker 1>we have no tickets to give you, but we'll give

1389
01:12:06.960 --> 01:12:09.039
<v Speaker 1>you an autograph football And we auctioned it off at

1390
01:12:09.079 --> 01:12:11.119
<v Speaker 1>one of our speaking events that we hold once a

1391
01:12:11.159 --> 01:12:13.840
<v Speaker 1>quarter and so you know, it did help raise some

1392
01:12:13.920 --> 01:12:15.720
<v Speaker 1>money for us, and that was good, you know, because

1393
01:12:15.720 --> 01:12:19.920
<v Speaker 1>we can still keep helping people, and it's just those

1394
01:12:19.960 --> 01:12:21.880
<v Speaker 1>things that we can show people, like, hey, this is

1395
01:12:21.920 --> 01:12:23.520
<v Speaker 1>what we do, and this is what we did, and

1396
01:12:23.800 --> 01:12:26.399
<v Speaker 1>cooking classes. We did a fishing event because in Michigan

1397
01:12:26.680 --> 01:12:28.479
<v Speaker 1>twice a year they do free fishing Day where you

1398
01:12:28.520 --> 01:12:32.880
<v Speaker 1>don't need a license. So we got seven sober living

1399
01:12:32.960 --> 01:12:35.079
<v Speaker 1>homes within our area here, so we're like, hey, guys,

1400
01:12:35.159 --> 01:12:38.039
<v Speaker 1>let's go. We got some polls and took people fishing

1401
01:12:38.039 --> 01:12:39.079
<v Speaker 1>and then it rained.

1402
01:12:40.319 --> 01:12:44.239
<v Speaker 2>Of course, but you've touched on something really important because

1403
01:12:44.720 --> 01:12:48.039
<v Speaker 2>on page seventeen, and I know I alluded to it

1404
01:12:48.119 --> 01:12:53.880
<v Speaker 2>early on in our conversation. And there's a solution. It says,

1405
01:12:55.319 --> 01:13:02.359
<v Speaker 2>there's a fellowship, camaraderie, joyousness, and democracy. Pervade the vessel

1406
01:13:02.399 --> 01:13:08.119
<v Speaker 2>from Stairs to Captain's Table says, even our joint escape

1407
01:13:08.159 --> 01:13:10.600
<v Speaker 2>from disaster does not subside as we go our own

1408
01:13:10.640 --> 01:13:13.880
<v Speaker 2>individual ways. The feeling of having shared and a common

1409
01:13:13.960 --> 01:13:16.680
<v Speaker 2>peril is one element in the powerful cement which now

1410
01:13:16.720 --> 01:13:22.319
<v Speaker 2>binds us. And there's there's a unity there. And even

1411
01:13:22.359 --> 01:13:26.680
<v Speaker 2>even the preamble of Alcoholics Anonymous says, Alcoholics Anonymous is

1412
01:13:26.680 --> 01:13:29.239
<v Speaker 2>a fellowship of men and women who share their experienced

1413
01:13:29.239 --> 01:13:31.520
<v Speaker 2>strength and help with each other, that we might solve

1414
01:13:31.560 --> 01:13:34.439
<v Speaker 2>our common parbleament to help others who recover from alcoholism.

1415
01:13:35.199 --> 01:13:38.000
<v Speaker 2>I tell people often, and maybe this was true of you,

1416
01:13:38.119 --> 01:13:41.880
<v Speaker 2>and I know certain certain so many people like us.

1417
01:13:43.399 --> 01:13:47.640
<v Speaker 2>The fellowship held me long enough for me to admit

1418
01:13:47.720 --> 01:13:51.119
<v Speaker 2>I was alcoholic. And once I admitted I was alcoholic,

1419
01:13:51.199 --> 01:13:55.800
<v Speaker 2>then the twelve steps of recovery became necessary. But the Fellowship,

1420
01:13:55.880 --> 01:13:59.000
<v Speaker 2>before I was ready to admit to my innermo self

1421
01:13:59.079 --> 01:14:02.119
<v Speaker 2>that I was alcoholic, I coudmit out loud because I

1422
01:14:02.159 --> 01:14:06.680
<v Speaker 2>wanted to be like you. But that true surrender, that

1423
01:14:06.680 --> 01:14:11.000
<v Speaker 2>that true submission of recognizing who I was, what I did,

1424
01:14:13.079 --> 01:14:15.760
<v Speaker 2>and the depth that I had gone, It was the

1425
01:14:15.840 --> 01:14:20.319
<v Speaker 2>Fellowship that kept me there long enough for the for

1426
01:14:20.520 --> 01:14:24.399
<v Speaker 2>the the roots of recovery to take hold. That I

1427
01:14:24.479 --> 01:14:29.560
<v Speaker 2>became unmovable and you i'll and to this day I

1428
01:14:29.600 --> 01:14:33.119
<v Speaker 2>love the fellowship. Fellowship is not recovery any more than

1429
01:14:33.279 --> 01:14:37.520
<v Speaker 2>recovery is fellowship. It takes both. But I think before

1430
01:14:37.640 --> 01:14:41.159
<v Speaker 2>recovery can take root, fellowship needs to hold us in

1431
01:14:41.199 --> 01:14:45.079
<v Speaker 2>one place long enough for those roots to take place.

1432
01:14:45.600 --> 01:14:50.680
<v Speaker 2>Because even if I, even if I took a patch

1433
01:14:50.720 --> 01:14:53.560
<v Speaker 2>of grass or anything. If I if I tried to

1434
01:14:53.640 --> 01:14:57.960
<v Speaker 2>replant a small house plant every single day, it would

1435
01:14:57.960 --> 01:15:01.159
<v Speaker 2>never take root, it would it would eventual die. But

1436
01:15:01.279 --> 01:15:04.479
<v Speaker 2>if I leave it there long enough and roots begin

1437
01:15:04.560 --> 01:15:07.600
<v Speaker 2>to develop, there are come a time where you can't

1438
01:15:07.640 --> 01:15:11.000
<v Speaker 2>move that plant anymore. You know, You've got to dig

1439
01:15:11.039 --> 01:15:13.640
<v Speaker 2>it out. You've got to really, you know, because the

1440
01:15:13.720 --> 01:15:18.439
<v Speaker 2>roots become so viable and so strong. And that's I

1441
01:15:18.439 --> 01:15:21.199
<v Speaker 2>think what the Fellowship does for us, and you have

1442
01:15:21.319 --> 01:15:25.920
<v Speaker 2>probably found that true in your recovery journey as well.

1443
01:15:25.960 --> 01:15:30.840
<v Speaker 2>The Fellowship is is is something that everyone ought to experience.

1444
01:15:32.000 --> 01:15:34.199
<v Speaker 1>It's part of the people places things man.

1445
01:15:34.800 --> 01:15:35.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

1446
01:15:35.039 --> 01:15:37.199
<v Speaker 1>You know, like when people first told me about the

1447
01:15:37.239 --> 01:15:39.239
<v Speaker 1>people places and things, I was like, well, I'm not

1448
01:15:39.279 --> 01:15:41.560
<v Speaker 1>hanging out with anybody who's drinking. I'm not going to

1449
01:15:41.600 --> 01:15:44.560
<v Speaker 1>the bars. I'm not Well. You need to go to

1450
01:15:44.680 --> 01:15:47.279
<v Speaker 1>those places. You need to find those people. You can't

1451
01:15:47.319 --> 01:15:50.039
<v Speaker 1>just sit on your couch and wait for mister opportunity

1452
01:15:50.039 --> 01:15:52.079
<v Speaker 1>to come knocking, because that's not going to happen. You know,

1453
01:15:52.119 --> 01:15:54.199
<v Speaker 1>the more you put yourself out there with different people,

1454
01:15:54.279 --> 01:15:57.279
<v Speaker 1>with good people who are doing good things, You're going

1455
01:15:57.319 --> 01:16:01.560
<v Speaker 1>to find opportunities. It's just it's the numbers game almost,

1456
01:16:01.600 --> 01:16:03.720
<v Speaker 1>you know, like people will ask you, oh, do you

1457
01:16:03.720 --> 01:16:05.159
<v Speaker 1>need help or do you would you like to do this?

1458
01:16:05.279 --> 01:16:08.319
<v Speaker 1>Or you'll be surprised by the opportunities that come along

1459
01:16:08.439 --> 01:16:11.279
<v Speaker 1>and the good people that you'll meet, and those are

1460
01:16:11.279 --> 01:16:12.840
<v Speaker 1>the people that you want to be around, you know,

1461
01:16:13.000 --> 01:16:16.760
<v Speaker 1>not saying that everybody who's using is bad. They're just

1462
01:16:16.800 --> 01:16:19.079
<v Speaker 1>stuck in a place that if you're in early recovery,

1463
01:16:19.119 --> 01:16:21.840
<v Speaker 1>you don't want to You shouldn't be associated with those

1464
01:16:21.880 --> 01:16:26.640
<v Speaker 1>people because you're still very vulnerable. And it's very simple,

1465
01:16:26.800 --> 01:16:29.520
<v Speaker 1>Like I was saying the other day, we just need

1466
01:16:29.560 --> 01:16:31.560
<v Speaker 1>a little sliver of an excuse. We don't need a

1467
01:16:31.560 --> 01:16:33.560
<v Speaker 1>big one. I said it earlier. Know, just oh, lose

1468
01:16:33.600 --> 01:16:35.640
<v Speaker 1>my lighter and I'm out, you know, like, let's go

1469
01:16:35.720 --> 01:16:37.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm having a bad day, turn my power off and

1470
01:16:37.880 --> 01:16:40.720
<v Speaker 1>I'll know. I'll sit there and that's okay. I figured

1471
01:16:40.760 --> 01:16:42.960
<v Speaker 1>it was going to get cut off. That sucks. Did

1472
01:16:43.000 --> 01:16:45.479
<v Speaker 1>you steal my lotder? Let's go fight, you know, Like

1473
01:16:46.399 --> 01:16:50.079
<v Speaker 1>it's the little things that we can't handle. But when

1474
01:16:50.119 --> 01:16:52.680
<v Speaker 1>we start to learn and we start to not react,

1475
01:16:53.039 --> 01:16:54.920
<v Speaker 1>it does become easier. And the people that I get

1476
01:16:54.960 --> 01:16:56.640
<v Speaker 1>to meet along the way like you. I was excited.

1477
01:16:57.039 --> 01:16:58.920
<v Speaker 1>I've been wanting to do a podcast with you for

1478
01:16:58.920 --> 01:17:00.880
<v Speaker 1>a while. It's been so long, it seems like one

1479
01:17:00.920 --> 01:17:04.479
<v Speaker 1>hundred years. You know, like time just goes by so

1480
01:17:04.640 --> 01:17:07.119
<v Speaker 1>much slower. I don't I don't even know how to

1481
01:17:07.119 --> 01:17:10.520
<v Speaker 1>explain it, but it's faster at the same time. So

1482
01:17:10.760 --> 01:17:13.800
<v Speaker 1>it seems like we talked years and years and years ago.

1483
01:17:14.119 --> 01:17:15.840
<v Speaker 1>It's been a couple of years. But you know, I

1484
01:17:15.880 --> 01:17:18.840
<v Speaker 1>follow you on Instagram and Facebook and all that, and

1485
01:17:19.079 --> 01:17:21.800
<v Speaker 1>why are you beefing with a guy recovery Guy dot

1486
01:17:21.840 --> 01:17:26.800
<v Speaker 1>calm or something because your website's Recovery Guy dot org. Right, yes, yeah.

1487
01:17:26.800 --> 01:17:29.079
<v Speaker 1>And then another guy came out and he had Recovery

1488
01:17:29.359 --> 01:17:33.000
<v Speaker 1>Guy dot calm or something something like that. I mean,

1489
01:17:33.039 --> 01:17:35.319
<v Speaker 1>this was a while ago too, This was like fifty

1490
01:17:35.399 --> 01:17:38.680
<v Speaker 1>years ago, you know, And I was like, oh man.

1491
01:17:39.359 --> 01:17:41.239
<v Speaker 1>And then I remember one time he reached out to

1492
01:17:41.319 --> 01:17:43.760
<v Speaker 1>me and he had asked me about something about a

1493
01:17:43.840 --> 01:17:46.560
<v Speaker 1>vape or something, or about something that people were doing,

1494
01:17:46.640 --> 01:17:49.079
<v Speaker 1>and you were like, oh man, I'm not not keen

1495
01:17:49.159 --> 01:17:52.000
<v Speaker 1>on what's going on, and I can't remember the details

1496
01:17:52.039 --> 01:17:54.800
<v Speaker 1>of it, but those are times where I wanted to

1497
01:17:54.800 --> 01:17:56.680
<v Speaker 1>reach out. I don't remember what was going on. Maybe

1498
01:17:56.720 --> 01:17:59.039
<v Speaker 1>we're going to a Lion's game or something, but like

1499
01:18:00.279 --> 01:18:03.000
<v Speaker 1>to actually have the time, and I appreciate you taking

1500
01:18:03.039 --> 01:18:05.119
<v Speaker 1>the time today, you know, to sit down and chat

1501
01:18:05.159 --> 01:18:07.479
<v Speaker 1>with me, you know. And I just love these just

1502
01:18:07.680 --> 01:18:11.359
<v Speaker 1>chatting about recovery, like I love talking about it. It's

1503
01:18:11.399 --> 01:18:13.279
<v Speaker 1>something that just gets in my soul and it just

1504
01:18:13.319 --> 01:18:15.720
<v Speaker 1>makes me feel good. And to see a smiling face

1505
01:18:15.720 --> 01:18:18.399
<v Speaker 1>someone who's doing great, someone who's done great, and I

1506
01:18:18.439 --> 01:18:20.159
<v Speaker 1>can look up to you and go, look, you know,

1507
01:18:20.279 --> 01:18:24.600
<v Speaker 1>like life doesn't have to end, you know, like it's

1508
01:18:24.680 --> 01:18:27.079
<v Speaker 1>just going to keep getting better. And I was staying

1509
01:18:27.079 --> 01:18:29.920
<v Speaker 1>about my employee earlier about he's just scratching the surface

1510
01:18:29.920 --> 01:18:32.039
<v Speaker 1>of what he's going to become. I kind of feel

1511
01:18:32.079 --> 01:18:34.239
<v Speaker 1>like that is where I'm at my journey too.

1512
01:18:34.560 --> 01:18:34.720
<v Speaker 2>You know.

1513
01:18:34.760 --> 01:18:36.720
<v Speaker 1>People will be like, oh, Corey, you guys are really

1514
01:18:36.760 --> 01:18:39.399
<v Speaker 1>blowing up. You did this, and oh man, you're doing great.

1515
01:18:39.800 --> 01:18:41.279
<v Speaker 1>Like man, I'm just scratching the surface.

1516
01:18:41.319 --> 01:18:41.439
<v Speaker 2>You know.

1517
01:18:41.479 --> 01:18:43.000
<v Speaker 1>I want to make a movie, I want to write

1518
01:18:43.000 --> 01:18:44.680
<v Speaker 1>a book. I'm going to do all this stuff. I'm

1519
01:18:44.680 --> 01:18:46.319
<v Speaker 1>gonna make a short film this fall. I gotta wait

1520
01:18:46.319 --> 01:18:49.640
<v Speaker 1>for the trees to change. Nice, beautiful orange trees in Michigan.

1521
01:18:50.079 --> 01:18:53.000
<v Speaker 1>Love it. But to make my film my short film,

1522
01:18:53.199 --> 01:18:57.359
<v Speaker 1>because to make a normal, long, full length film, I

1523
01:18:57.359 --> 01:18:58.960
<v Speaker 1>don't know how to do that. But I was like,

1524
01:18:59.000 --> 01:19:01.119
<v Speaker 1>I'll just start with a sh short film. If I

1525
01:19:01.159 --> 01:19:04.199
<v Speaker 1>can do that good, then I'll move on. But you know,

1526
01:19:04.399 --> 01:19:06.720
<v Speaker 1>until I can make a good short film, why would

1527
01:19:06.760 --> 01:19:10.039
<v Speaker 1>I want to go take on this task that's overwhelming,

1528
01:19:10.319 --> 01:19:12.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, like start baby stuff it. You know, I

1529
01:19:12.000 --> 01:19:13.960
<v Speaker 1>don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to

1530
01:19:13.960 --> 01:19:16.079
<v Speaker 1>make a movie, but doesn't mean I can't.

1531
01:19:17.199 --> 01:19:19.520
<v Speaker 2>You know. One of the things that I'm so grateful for,

1532
01:19:19.880 --> 01:19:24.319
<v Speaker 2>you know, in terms of time is I got to

1533
01:19:24.359 --> 01:19:27.039
<v Speaker 2>the rooms of AA when I was thirty two, and

1534
01:19:27.079 --> 01:19:33.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm seventy now, and i'd lived thirty eight years in recovery.

1535
01:19:33.800 --> 01:19:39.800
<v Speaker 2>And I'm so fortunate that before health problems crept in

1536
01:19:39.960 --> 01:19:44.520
<v Speaker 2>got worse, I was able to find the rooms of recovery,

1537
01:19:44.560 --> 01:19:49.479
<v Speaker 2>or the rooms of recovery found me. But I've been

1538
01:19:49.520 --> 01:19:57.119
<v Speaker 2>able to reinvent myself and reclaim everything that ever lost.

1539
01:19:57.319 --> 01:20:01.079
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes I feel like job, you know, I lost everything,

1540
01:20:01.840 --> 01:20:07.920
<v Speaker 2>and yet today the things that I have are more

1541
01:20:10.399 --> 01:20:15.199
<v Speaker 2>than I ever imagine, you know, And I just want

1542
01:20:15.239 --> 01:20:20.079
<v Speaker 2>to do everything I can to encourage everyone to just

1543
01:20:20.640 --> 01:20:27.000
<v Speaker 2>count every day as a blessing. I've lived eight years

1544
01:20:27.039 --> 01:20:30.800
<v Speaker 2>longer than my dad. And my dad had seven years

1545
01:20:30.800 --> 01:20:35.159
<v Speaker 2>of sobriety when he died, and I have thirty eight years.

1546
01:20:36.199 --> 01:20:43.239
<v Speaker 2>And it's amazing what happens when we surrender, you know,

1547
01:20:43.319 --> 01:20:46.960
<v Speaker 2>like you surrendered and the people that you know that

1548
01:20:47.000 --> 01:20:51.199
<v Speaker 2>you come in contact, but they've surrendered because without surrender,

1549
01:20:53.600 --> 01:20:56.680
<v Speaker 2>we're going to fight a battle we can't win. An

1550
01:20:56.680 --> 01:21:01.760
<v Speaker 2>addiction is one of those battles. In order for the

1551
01:21:01.800 --> 01:21:04.159
<v Speaker 2>twelve steps of recovery to work, I have to surrender,

1552
01:21:04.920 --> 01:21:06.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, I have to admit that I'm powerless of

1553
01:21:06.840 --> 01:21:10.079
<v Speaker 2>our alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable. And you know,

1554
01:21:10.199 --> 01:21:15.760
<v Speaker 2>the insanity of my addiction doesn't occur, doesn't rear its

1555
01:21:15.840 --> 01:21:19.760
<v Speaker 2>ugly head until I get sober. It's not like it's

1556
01:21:19.800 --> 01:21:23.279
<v Speaker 2>not like it happens when I'm drinking. It happens when

1557
01:21:23.319 --> 01:21:27.239
<v Speaker 2>I'm sober. And as our friend Bob Darryl Bob Dee says,

1558
01:21:28.199 --> 01:21:31.680
<v Speaker 2>being sober is like doing time. You know, we have

1559
01:21:31.800 --> 01:21:34.319
<v Speaker 2>to get onto the steps. We have to turn our

1560
01:21:34.359 --> 01:21:36.920
<v Speaker 2>willingness life over the care of God. As we understood him.

1561
01:21:37.239 --> 01:21:39.319
<v Speaker 2>We have to do that inventory. We have to admit,

1562
01:21:40.000 --> 01:21:42.079
<v Speaker 2>we have to be ready for God to remove the

1563
01:21:42.119 --> 01:21:44.720
<v Speaker 2>defects of character. Then we have to humbly ask him

1564
01:21:44.760 --> 01:21:47.600
<v Speaker 2>to move the shortcomings. And then we have to be

1565
01:21:47.680 --> 01:21:50.920
<v Speaker 2>willing to make amendsus to people that we harmed along

1566
01:21:50.960 --> 01:21:54.000
<v Speaker 2>the way, and then we lead to live that journey

1567
01:21:54.079 --> 01:21:55.880
<v Speaker 2>out one day to time for the rest of our life.

1568
01:21:56.359 --> 01:22:00.399
<v Speaker 2>And for me and for guys like you, there is

1569
01:22:00.439 --> 01:22:00.920
<v Speaker 2>no other.

1570
01:22:00.800 --> 01:22:03.000
<v Speaker 4>Way for us. We've tried the other ways. If the

1571
01:22:03.039 --> 01:22:05.399
<v Speaker 4>other ways were there were a lot easier than this,

1572
01:22:05.560 --> 01:22:12.119
<v Speaker 4>we'd have done them. And yet it took everything that

1573
01:22:12.239 --> 01:22:17.079
<v Speaker 4>I lost to gain everything that I have. And we're

1574
01:22:17.239 --> 01:22:23.720
<v Speaker 4>fortunate because how many men and women have died along

1575
01:22:23.760 --> 01:22:25.880
<v Speaker 4>the way. How many statistics are out there.

1576
01:22:28.199 --> 01:22:31.199
<v Speaker 2>You know. I'm saddened oftentimes when I go into the

1577
01:22:31.279 --> 01:22:36.960
<v Speaker 2>rooms and that I'm the exception, not the rule, you know.

1578
01:22:37.000 --> 01:22:39.159
<v Speaker 2>And rarely do I see a person in the rooms

1579
01:22:39.159 --> 01:22:44.640
<v Speaker 2>of alcoholics anonymous, rarely that is sober ten, twelve, fifteen years.

1580
01:22:44.960 --> 01:22:50.239
<v Speaker 2>You just don't see it, you know. And I'll if

1581
01:22:50.239 --> 01:22:58.359
<v Speaker 2>I ever leave, I will be not grateful for the person,

1582
01:22:59.000 --> 01:23:02.000
<v Speaker 2>the persons who were there, and I arrived you know,

1583
01:23:02.920 --> 01:23:07.800
<v Speaker 2>and to show them how grateful I am is one

1584
01:23:07.800 --> 01:23:12.640
<v Speaker 2>of the reasons that I stay. I can never leave,

1585
01:23:14.680 --> 01:23:18.279
<v Speaker 2>and I could not be happier, you know, to see

1586
01:23:18.319 --> 01:23:23.600
<v Speaker 2>that newcomer come in wondering, you know, if they can

1587
01:23:23.680 --> 01:23:25.880
<v Speaker 2>never get their wife back, if they can never get

1588
01:23:25.880 --> 01:23:29.000
<v Speaker 2>their life back, if their mom and dad or brother

1589
01:23:29.039 --> 01:23:32.119
<v Speaker 2>and sister, you know, will ever forgive them, if they

1590
01:23:32.199 --> 01:23:34.760
<v Speaker 2>ever think they're going to be employable again. You remember

1591
01:23:34.800 --> 01:23:40.159
<v Speaker 2>what it was like, you know. They would say to me,

1592
01:23:40.880 --> 01:23:43.159
<v Speaker 2>it's three o'clock in the morning and the lights throughout

1593
01:23:43.159 --> 01:23:45.640
<v Speaker 2>and nobody else is there. You know what the truth

1594
01:23:45.720 --> 01:23:49.119
<v Speaker 2>is about you? And the truth for men like you

1595
01:23:49.199 --> 01:23:53.840
<v Speaker 2>and me was not too promising. You know, we pretended

1596
01:23:53.880 --> 01:23:57.880
<v Speaker 2>it was when we were drunk. We were high, We

1597
01:23:57.920 --> 01:24:01.920
<v Speaker 2>played the game, but we were lonely. We were lost,

1598
01:24:02.640 --> 01:24:06.319
<v Speaker 2>and we were more lost. We were afraid to admit

1599
01:24:06.399 --> 01:24:10.600
<v Speaker 2>how lost we really were, because then no one would

1600
01:24:10.640 --> 01:24:14.039
<v Speaker 2>like us. And then we come into the rooms of

1601
01:24:14.039 --> 01:24:18.039
<v Speaker 2>recovery and we run into a group of people who

1602
01:24:18.119 --> 01:24:21.520
<v Speaker 2>the more they know, the more they like. And I

1603
01:24:21.520 --> 01:24:24.000
<v Speaker 2>don't understand it to this day. Why they liked me,

1604
01:24:24.680 --> 01:24:26.479
<v Speaker 2>why they asked me to come back, But they did,

1605
01:24:26.560 --> 01:24:28.760
<v Speaker 2>and so I did because I had nowhere else to

1606
01:24:28.800 --> 01:24:31.800
<v Speaker 2>go and they wanted me, you know, where was I

1607
01:24:31.840 --> 01:24:37.039
<v Speaker 2>going to go. I'm glad I stayed, you know, and

1608
01:24:37.159 --> 01:24:41.239
<v Speaker 2>to see that light go on, you know, to see

1609
01:24:41.239 --> 01:24:44.199
<v Speaker 2>that person who you see for a second time, then

1610
01:24:44.239 --> 01:24:46.119
<v Speaker 2>a third time, then a fourth time, and next thing

1611
01:24:46.159 --> 01:24:49.479
<v Speaker 2>you know, they're working, you know, in recovery and treatment

1612
01:24:49.479 --> 01:24:52.159
<v Speaker 2>and trying to do whatever they can. They're sponsoring someone there,

1613
01:24:53.119 --> 01:24:56.399
<v Speaker 2>trying to show them a version of what you showed them.

1614
01:24:57.479 --> 01:25:00.560
<v Speaker 2>And you know, when my sponsor of thirty two thirty

1615
01:25:00.560 --> 01:25:04.920
<v Speaker 2>three years passed away at cancer five years ago, I said, Jack,

1616
01:25:05.000 --> 01:25:08.079
<v Speaker 2>what do I tell him? What do I say? And

1617
01:25:08.119 --> 01:25:11.600
<v Speaker 2>it is cancer filled voice? He said, Bob, tell him.

1618
01:25:11.920 --> 01:25:15.399
<v Speaker 2>It works. So that's the journey that guys like you

1619
01:25:15.479 --> 01:25:17.560
<v Speaker 2>and mayeron It just it just works.

1620
01:25:19.000 --> 01:25:21.960
<v Speaker 1>It's a great journey, man. And I'm glad that you

1621
01:25:22.079 --> 01:25:24.239
<v Speaker 1>came back, and I'm glad that you're here. And I

1622
01:25:25.039 --> 01:25:26.399
<v Speaker 1>look up to you, man, I really do. And I

1623
01:25:26.399 --> 01:25:29.199
<v Speaker 1>think you're doing great things and love seeing the stuff

1624
01:25:29.199 --> 01:25:31.399
<v Speaker 1>that you post. You're always posting beautiful pictures of you

1625
01:25:31.439 --> 01:25:33.800
<v Speaker 1>and your wife and a beautiful location and I'm like

1626
01:25:34.199 --> 01:25:37.279
<v Speaker 1>that dude's living it man, like one day, I'm I'm

1627
01:25:37.279 --> 01:25:40.159
<v Speaker 1>gonna be that guy, you know. And yeah, so I

1628
01:25:40.199 --> 01:25:42.720
<v Speaker 1>do look up to you and I follow you still.

1629
01:25:42.840 --> 01:25:45.079
<v Speaker 1>So even if I don't hit you up or you know,

1630
01:25:45.199 --> 01:25:47.079
<v Speaker 1>write you all the time, just know when you post

1631
01:25:47.079 --> 01:25:49.319
<v Speaker 1>a picture or he's going to see that, he's gonna

1632
01:25:49.359 --> 01:25:52.760
<v Speaker 1>let that one. You know. But but no, I love it,

1633
01:25:52.840 --> 01:25:54.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, I love what you're doing. And like I said,

1634
01:25:54.920 --> 01:25:57.720
<v Speaker 1>I look up to you and I appreciate you coming

1635
01:25:57.760 --> 01:26:00.479
<v Speaker 1>on the podcast today. We'll have to make it maybe

1636
01:26:00.520 --> 01:26:02.680
<v Speaker 1>not two years before we have you on again.

1637
01:26:03.079 --> 01:26:08.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well, you know, I I would love the opportunity

1638
01:26:08.119 --> 01:26:11.760
<v Speaker 2>to get you know, you and your wife and Michelle

1639
01:26:11.760 --> 01:26:14.239
<v Speaker 2>and me, and we can do that ask at basket.

1640
01:26:14.520 --> 01:26:16.279
<v Speaker 1>That'd be awesome approach.

1641
01:26:16.479 --> 01:26:19.800
<v Speaker 2>We would love to do that and just talk about

1642
01:26:19.920 --> 01:26:22.439
<v Speaker 2>questions that we get in treatment centers because they're good,

1643
01:26:22.600 --> 01:26:26.920
<v Speaker 2>good questions man. Yeah, I mean we get I have

1644
01:26:27.039 --> 01:26:30.159
<v Speaker 2>a I have a basket full of questions that people

1645
01:26:30.239 --> 01:26:33.199
<v Speaker 2>ask me all the time. Newcomers or frans ln new

1646
01:26:33.239 --> 01:26:35.399
<v Speaker 2>wonder they can do it? You do? You do the same,

1647
01:26:35.920 --> 01:26:38.560
<v Speaker 2>And and you know, anytime you want me to come out,

1648
01:26:38.640 --> 01:26:41.359
<v Speaker 2>I will come out and I will speak. I'll spend

1649
01:26:41.359 --> 01:26:44.000
<v Speaker 2>a weekend talking to anyone you put me in front of.

1650
01:26:45.279 --> 01:26:46.079
<v Speaker 2>I would love to do.

1651
01:26:46.079 --> 01:26:49.439
<v Speaker 1>That, right, wait for all the vacationers to leave Travers City.

1652
01:26:49.720 --> 01:26:50.199
<v Speaker 1>Have you out?

1653
01:26:51.279 --> 01:26:53.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I've been to Traverse City, been to Travers Mountain

1654
01:26:53.760 --> 01:26:57.239
<v Speaker 2>on a on a on a trip. Did you did

1655
01:26:57.239 --> 01:26:59.319
<v Speaker 2>I ever tell you I was born in Highland Park.

1656
01:27:00.039 --> 01:27:07.039
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, I have family in Lavonia and Detroit and

1657
01:27:07.520 --> 01:27:10.560
<v Speaker 2>tell me that. Yeah, yeah, I was born in Hunter Park,

1658
01:27:10.600 --> 01:27:15.840
<v Speaker 2>Detroit Osteopathy Hospital. Yeah yeah, that closed down for good reason.

1659
01:27:18.800 --> 01:27:19.399
<v Speaker 1>All right.

1660
01:27:20.039 --> 01:27:21.159
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm in Michigander.

1661
01:27:21.880 --> 01:27:26.279
<v Speaker 1>Well good, Yeah, I like it. That's why we bond.

1662
01:27:26.359 --> 01:27:29.239
<v Speaker 2>So well, there you go. We got the tube. Man.

1663
01:27:29.600 --> 01:27:34.000
<v Speaker 2>I was I when I was taking home from the hospital.

1664
01:27:35.239 --> 01:27:38.880
<v Speaker 2>You know, it wasn't too far from Eminem, you know,

1665
01:27:39.760 --> 01:27:44.279
<v Speaker 2>yeah before Eminem, before Marshall existed.

1666
01:27:45.920 --> 01:27:47.239
<v Speaker 1>Paved the way for him.

1667
01:27:47.760 --> 01:27:50.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah that's me another white guy.

1668
01:27:51.399 --> 01:27:55.319
<v Speaker 1>That's true. All right, Robert. I appreciate you, man, and

1669
01:27:55.640 --> 01:27:57.079
<v Speaker 1>I'll be in touch and see if we can get

1670
01:27:57.119 --> 01:27:59.760
<v Speaker 1>you here, man, do some stuff and have some fun

1671
01:28:00.079 --> 01:28:01.720
<v Speaker 1>here and get you back to your home state.

1672
01:28:02.000 --> 01:28:05.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that'll be great, man. I'll spend Friday, Saturday, Sunday,

1673
01:28:05.079 --> 01:28:07.039
<v Speaker 2>Like I say, just wind me up and put me

1674
01:28:07.039 --> 01:28:09.560
<v Speaker 2>in front of people at the treatment center. If you're

1675
01:28:09.560 --> 01:28:12.159
<v Speaker 2>having an event, just let me know, man, I'll show up.

1676
01:28:12.159 --> 01:28:16.039
<v Speaker 1>Okay, and then we'll we'll do that ask a basket.

1677
01:28:16.119 --> 01:28:19.279
<v Speaker 1>I'll get Marnie and you get Michelle, and I think

1678
01:28:19.279 --> 01:28:20.840
<v Speaker 1>that would be a lot of fun.

1679
01:28:21.560 --> 01:28:24.319
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so yeah, just let me have a time and

1680
01:28:24.760 --> 01:28:28.159
<v Speaker 2>I'll get it arranged according to all four of our

1681
01:28:28.159 --> 01:28:30.199
<v Speaker 2>schedules and we'll just make it work. All right.

1682
01:28:30.279 --> 01:28:32.840
<v Speaker 1>Sounds good, Robert, thanks again for joining me, and you

1683
01:28:32.880 --> 01:28:33.680
<v Speaker 1>have a blessed.

1684
01:28:33.479 --> 01:28:35.800
<v Speaker 2>Day, all right. Man, good to talk to you. Coreyboll

1685
01:28:35.960 --> 01:28:37.399
<v Speaker 2>you oh and God bless your journey.

1686
01:28:37.600 --> 01:28:40.640
<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast.

1687
01:28:40.960 --> 01:28:44.000
<v Speaker 4>Listen to over nine hundred episodes on the two seventeen

1688
01:28:44.039 --> 01:28:47.159
<v Speaker 4>Recovery app that's free in your app store or online

1689
01:28:47.399 --> 01:28:54.760
<v Speaker 4>at two seventeen recovery dot com.