WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Stuck at home, bored and alone. You'd think I could

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<v Speaker 1>have some fun on.

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<v Speaker 2>My own, but not all. I called AF with Cecily

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<v Speaker 2>and Stephanie.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, everybody, it is bored AF Patreon and we're doing

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<v Speaker 1>something a little different.

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<v Speaker 2>Not really, it's not really no, not at all. We're

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<v Speaker 2>taking We're bringing you something that's a little I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 2>just say a little twisty. It's a little twisty. It's like,

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<v Speaker 2>that's that's the new word I'm using. It's twisty turney.

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<v Speaker 2>It's topsy turvy.

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<v Speaker 1>It's going one way and then it might go another way.

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<v Speaker 1>You just don't you can't know. Can you start?

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<v Speaker 2>I'll bring you into this kind. I have a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>I have a lot of thoughts on this. We're gonna

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<v Speaker 2>be talking today about Lindy West, which he wrote about

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<v Speaker 2>the Modern Love you know column New York Times, Lindy

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<v Speaker 2>West to Lindy West. If you don't know, she was

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<v Speaker 2>a writer first, right? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Should I give you a little background on her? Do

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<v Speaker 1>you want to give us a little background? Give you

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<v Speaker 1>Lindy West wikipedia little flavor. She's an American writer, comedian,

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<v Speaker 1>and activist. She's a comedian, She's the author of the

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<v Speaker 1>essay collections Shrill. I feel like everybody knows that book

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<v Speaker 1>notes from a loud woman, The Witches are coming and

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<v Speaker 1>shit actually so. Topics she writes about include feminism, pop culture, film,

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<v Speaker 1>and the fat acceptance movement, which we're against. Well, Cecily

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<v Speaker 1>is Cesily is totally I am against it. Yeah, you're

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<v Speaker 1>against it, but just in a different way. Yeah, I'm yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I want people to just Yeah, that's a joke, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>We're kidding.

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<v Speaker 2>She and she has got It's funny. When we started

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<v Speaker 2>talking about her, we're like, wait, what is it? How

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<v Speaker 2>do we feel about her? Because we remember bird something happened,

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<v Speaker 2>but we can't remember what it was like she she

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<v Speaker 2>was annoying in one setting and I can't remember the setting.

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<v Speaker 2>Well I do.

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<v Speaker 1>I kind of remember what it was, and it was

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<v Speaker 1>there was a time when the I don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>say the left, it was. It was there was a

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<v Speaker 1>time when people who are progressive were getting a very

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<v Speaker 1>a little crazy and then celebrating themselves for their craziness

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<v Speaker 1>kind of like, which is sort of what the book

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<v Speaker 1>Trill like.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just that what the show was based on was Shrill.

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<v Speaker 2>The TV show based on her book, Oh was it?

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<v Speaker 2>It was really good on Hulu with What's her Face? Who?

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<v Speaker 2>I love Addie, Addie Bryant, Ohky Bryant. Maybe as I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know. I liked that show. Okay, so she I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>I would look, but I have this story up so

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<v Speaker 2>I can look in a second.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, let's here. I'll give you like a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>more so that. Okay. She was a staff writer for

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<v Speaker 1>Jezebelabelle was a little irritating.

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<v Speaker 2>I got quoted of Jezebel once and I was so excited.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh really she wrote me because of that.

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<v Speaker 1>So she wrote a lot about like sexism and good

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<v Speaker 1>for her, you know. Describing Wes's often comedic approach to

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<v Speaker 1>serious issues, Dana order Ici wrote in The New York

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<v Speaker 1>Times that West has changed more minds this way than

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<v Speaker 1>you can count. One of the most distinctive voices advancing

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<v Speaker 1>feminist politics through humor, she is behind a handful of

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<v Speaker 1>popular pieces. How to make a rape joke on Jezebel,

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<v Speaker 1>Hello I Am Fat on the Stranger's blog, asks not

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<v Speaker 1>for whom the bell trolls, It trolls for THEE on

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<v Speaker 1>This American Life. Yeah, so she's trying to shift main

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<v Speaker 1>attitudes about like, you know, fat stuff. Yeah about Kurt,

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<v Speaker 1>Oh did you know this Kurt Metzker in twenty thirteen,

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<v Speaker 1>Kurt Metzger, who's a comedian who's not a writer for Amy. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and he's pretty problematic. He feuded with Lindy and Jude

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<v Speaker 1>Doyle via Facebook and Twitter during a defense of rape humor. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe that's.

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<v Speaker 2>What it was. Okay, but we wouldn't have been on

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<v Speaker 2>his side, So I don't know. We're not sure how,

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<v Speaker 2>we are not sure, but whatever, we had a feeling.

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<v Speaker 2>But but then we got the feeling again. This this

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<v Speaker 2>thing popped up, this photo and this article popped up

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<v Speaker 2>in all of our feeds, not all we all follow

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<v Speaker 2>different things, but in my algorithm, and it just says

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<v Speaker 2>Lindy West thought she couldn't handle h lamp, I would

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<v Speaker 2>glamory polyamory. Sorry, I thought she couldn't handle polyamory. She

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<v Speaker 2>was wrong. Oh that's funny. When I first read it

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<v Speaker 2>and said it to you, I was like, Okay, I

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<v Speaker 2>love it. She tried to get all up in it

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<v Speaker 2>but couldn't. But she did the exact opposite of what

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<v Speaker 2>I get it now, So let's get into this First off,

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<v Speaker 2>I have a little bit I listen. It's very common

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<v Speaker 2>right now on the apps. Anytime you swipe and there's

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<v Speaker 2>like kind of a good looking at you're like, what's

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<v Speaker 2>wrong with them? And then you look at the first

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<v Speaker 2>thing and it's like my wife and I was so happy,

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<v Speaker 2>can't wait for you to meet her. They're so it's

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<v Speaker 2>so in right now. I don't know if it's in

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<v Speaker 2>all over the world or if it's just like an la

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<v Speaker 2>New York thing. It feels very la to me, like

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<v Speaker 2>like somebody gave somebody a mantra. This just feels But

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<v Speaker 2>I do know that it does work for some people.

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<v Speaker 2>I have a couple friends. They both they both happen

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<v Speaker 2>to be guys, and I have not met their ladies. Well,

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<v Speaker 2>one of them just split up with somebody, and I

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<v Speaker 2>wanted to be like, did you split up with all

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<v Speaker 2>of them or just the one? Because you're all sad.

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<v Speaker 2>It seems like you'd be MOPI times five, right, So

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<v Speaker 2>I don't get it. But there's like I guess there's

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<v Speaker 2>like a main squeeze that they marry or something, and

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<v Speaker 2>then when that splits, it all falls apart. But you

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<v Speaker 2>date with the date yet it's very organized. These people

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<v Speaker 2>very very organized.

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<v Speaker 1>Now I could be completely wrong, Okay, so I could

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<v Speaker 1>just be talking out of my ask, but it feels

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<v Speaker 1>from people, from some other people that I've known that

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<v Speaker 1>have done this, that it kind of benefits the guy

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<v Speaker 1>usually more than the woman. I mean, it seems to

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<v Speaker 1>be usually the guy that has more, you know, girlfriends.

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<v Speaker 2>And think about it, the only difference between polyamory and

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<v Speaker 2>polygamy is the getting married part. Like, it's weird that

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<v Speaker 2>we're like, polygamy is outlawed, you can't marry all these ladies,

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<v Speaker 2>but polyamory is the coolest thing ever. Good luck everybody.

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<v Speaker 2>Not that you would ever outlaw how somebody wants to date, you.

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<v Speaker 1>Know, well, you would outlaw how somebody wants to marry

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<v Speaker 1>multiple people.

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<v Speaker 2>They're not weird. We shouldn't even outlaw polygamy. If people

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<v Speaker 2>want to fucking do it, do it. I don't care.

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<v Speaker 1>Do I care?

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<v Speaker 2>Why would we care? I guess legal, I mean, why

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<v Speaker 2>would we I don't think we should stop whoever wants

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<v Speaker 2>to marry. If they're all consenting and willing participants, then

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<v Speaker 2>why do we outlaw polygamy and embrace polyamory? It makes

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<v Speaker 2>no fucking sense.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what, that's a really good point.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want any part of it that said personally,

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<v Speaker 2>oh thank you, no, thank you. But I guess Lindy

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<v Speaker 2>had a different vibe feel about this, So I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>to read what was I think about?

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<v Speaker 1>I think what what caught people about this was the

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<v Speaker 1>fact that she's very as she you know, self proclaimed shrill,

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<v Speaker 1>which means that she's super opinionated and super feminist. And

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<v Speaker 1>it feels, I think it would feel to most people like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>but you're willing to like, but you're not good enough

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<v Speaker 1>for guided to be committed to you.

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<v Speaker 2>You have to share and they can date too. She

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<v Speaker 2>could have boyfriends too. It's very open. It's just like

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<v Speaker 2>open and they have they have their set boundaries and

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<v Speaker 2>stuff that is not like yeah, so and just you know,

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<v Speaker 2>have an idea. She's in this picture. She's got very

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<v Speaker 2>very short baby banks, pink hair and nose ring, lots

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<v Speaker 2>of tuttooes. That's what's going on here. Lot going on.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like that's kind of the polyamory uniform.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, it's funny you say that, because I was gonna

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<v Speaker 2>say that, but I didn't know if that was the

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<v Speaker 2>right thing. To say because a friend of mine said,

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<v Speaker 2>let me say it. Well, I just was like, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know because my friend said a guy friend said

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<v Speaker 2>that to me. When when it was proposed to me,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, that is so not my thing.

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<v Speaker 2>It's hard for me to say no to anything that's

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<v Speaker 2>like not my thing. I'm just but this was such

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<v Speaker 2>a hard no. There's so many things like I was like, oh, yeah, no,

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<v Speaker 2>this isn't going to be difficult for me not into it.

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<v Speaker 2>And then my friend was like, yeah, do you ever

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<v Speaker 2>look at those worlds like they're not like the hot

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<v Speaker 2>It's not like like the hotest people. Right. I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>sure why that is a rod stereotype. There are people

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<v Speaker 2>listening that are probably polyamorous, and then there are hot

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<v Speaker 2>as fuck. Prove us wrong out yourselves.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I think it's the same idea as a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of nudists are not anything that you'd pay money to

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<v Speaker 1>look at, you know what I mean.

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<v Speaker 2>That's right, that's right. It's unfortunate that that's the way

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<v Speaker 2>it often goes, but it is okay. So this woman,

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<v Speaker 2>Anne Martin wrote about this after interviewing her Lindy, and

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<v Speaker 2>she started out with whether non monogamy comes up in

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<v Speaker 2>conversation with my friends. We are thirty somethings in Brooklyn,

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<v Speaker 2>so this is already going to be a little different

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<v Speaker 2>than how we see things. Well, we don't even it

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't matter what she says, So she says the writer

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<v Speaker 2>Lindy West hoped non monogamy would stay hypothetical for her too.

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<v Speaker 2>At the end of her Moving and Hilario's first memore, Okay, Shrill,

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<v Speaker 2>she marries the love of her life. She calls them

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<v Speaker 2>Aham because it's hard to pronounce his name. But there

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<v Speaker 2>was something she didn't share with the readers at the time.

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<v Speaker 2>Aham did not want their relationship to be monogamous, and

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<v Speaker 2>while Lindy agreed to this in theory, she hoped it

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<v Speaker 2>would never become an issue. So this is the interview.

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<v Speaker 2>So Anne is like, Lindy, towards the hand your book,

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<v Speaker 2>you got married to your husband A and I think

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<v Speaker 2>that's in the I think that's in Shrill too. It

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<v Speaker 2>might be a hom ah a m it was a

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<v Speaker 2>big deal for you. And then she's like, well, I

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<v Speaker 2>haven't thought about it in a while. I love that.

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<v Speaker 2>Lindy's first response in this thing is like Hmmm, we've

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<v Speaker 2>been married so long, I don't even remember what it

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<v Speaker 2>was like to be Yeah, I haven't even thought about

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<v Speaker 2>that moment. Yeah, but she does say she always is

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<v Speaker 2>kind of lonely and single and sad in yearning and

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<v Speaker 2>growing up. And this is her words in a fat Body,

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<v Speaker 2>people tell you no one will ever love you unless

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<v Speaker 2>you fix your body. Then, being a very visual woman

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<v Speaker 2>on the Internet, strangers are just telling me every single day.

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<v Speaker 2>So that's really sad. So she talks about that a

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<v Speaker 2>little bit. So then Martin asked again, so when you

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<v Speaker 2>got married, what did you hope your future would look like? Like,

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<v Speaker 2>let's get into this right right, She's like, I just

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<v Speaker 2>imagined we would stay on that sort of traditional track.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought we would have a baby and buy a

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<v Speaker 2>house and continue to work together. A hom is an artist,

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<v Speaker 2>and I work on his shows nearly helps me with

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<v Speaker 2>my writing, and I think I envisioned as a happy marriage.

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<v Speaker 2>And then Martin's like, wholl, It's interesting that you bring

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<v Speaker 2>up the word classic because you have that book out

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<v Speaker 2>it's called Adult Races, and in this book you share

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<v Speaker 2>a piece of information about your marriage to a hom Sorry,

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<v Speaker 2>and that was not classic. You sure he was non monogamous.

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<v Speaker 2>So she's like, yeah, we briefly broke up in twenty eleven.

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<v Speaker 2>She goes on to things that were not going right

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<v Speaker 2>in her life. She says, I've been divorced, she'd been well,

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<v Speaker 2>her dad passed, a tree fell in her house, bad time.

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<v Speaker 1>So she was engaged. So they broke off the engagement

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<v Speaker 1>because of those things.

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<v Speaker 2>Well I'm not sure what the timeline, but she does

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<v Speaker 2>say she'd already been divorced twice by the age of

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<v Speaker 2>twenty seven. Wow. Information. Yeah, she's twenty seven getting married

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<v Speaker 2>for a third time.

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<v Speaker 1>So she's a little difficult as it is. So maybe

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<v Speaker 1>she's like, shit, last chance, this guy wants to fuck

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<v Speaker 1>other people? Okay, I guess right, right, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. So she's like, so Martin said, emotionally, how was

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<v Speaker 2>this all hitting you? And she's like, yeah, it made

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<v Speaker 2>intellectual sense to me, and in fact, it always made

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<v Speaker 2>intellectual sense to me. Pallamory. I was like, I understand

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<v Speaker 2>how this works and why people do it. I just

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<v Speaker 2>don't personally have the self esteem to cope with it.

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<v Speaker 2>For me, I don't think it's the self esteem. I

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<v Speaker 2>think it's just annoying to me. It's just I'm finding

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<v Speaker 2>it annoying facing it a lot. Wow.

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<v Speaker 1>Why Well for me, I think it would be kind

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<v Speaker 1>of a self esteem thing, but also like I don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to have to compete for like my person, Like

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to have to go like, well, what

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<v Speaker 1>am I coming home to tonight? Like or if i'm

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<v Speaker 1>you know, what is it going to be? Like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm on my period. Well that hasn't happened in twenty

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<v Speaker 1>feve And that's like in Big Love, they would have

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<v Speaker 1>issues like that. Imagine having to be married to Bill Paxton.

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<v Speaker 1>Imagine your sister you have to like all these you're

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<v Speaker 1>not sister wives because you're not married, although they are,

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<v Speaker 1>I guess, but only one.

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<v Speaker 2>There's a main couple that gets married. So that's kind

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<v Speaker 2>of how it works. So she said, so Wes said. So,

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<v Speaker 2>it wasn't him saying I'm going to go out and

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<v Speaker 2>date people. We were a couple who loved each other

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<v Speaker 2>desperately getting back together. So this wasn't a moment when

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<v Speaker 2>either of us were like, Okay, I want to go

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<v Speaker 2>out and find someone else. Where we landed was if

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<v Speaker 2>we want to be together for the rest of our lives.

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<v Speaker 2>Who knows what's going to happen in ten twenty years now?

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<v Speaker 2>That makes sense to me. Now that kind of makes sense, Like,

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<v Speaker 2>you don't know in twenty years if you're going to

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<v Speaker 2>want to have an affair or something.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but it all passed. Well, that doesn't make sense

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<v Speaker 1>to me at all. That's like, okay, so you're going

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<v Speaker 1>into it going like I mean, chances are not great.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like, well, then don't get married then, just be

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<v Speaker 1>bo said friend.

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<v Speaker 2>She's like, once it was reframed as something that we

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<v Speaker 2>were going to deal with eventually, and I love to procrastinate.

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<v Speaker 2>I love to put things off. So they're kicking the can. Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>So she's like, which was unfair to him because he

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<v Speaker 2>really was telling me something that was important to him.

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<v Speaker 2>So I get that too. She's like, it's never going

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<v Speaker 2>to happen, this is going to happen.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, so it also depends on how he was phrasing it,

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<v Speaker 1>because I could also imagine the guy being like, I

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<v Speaker 1>mean what if like and you're like, okay, but we're together,

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<v Speaker 1>so like that's probably not going to happen. And yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>a month later, he's like, Hey, I met somebody I.

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<v Speaker 2>Want to bang this lady I like you to bang

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<v Speaker 2>her too. That's my impression. Okay, go on, he said

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<v Speaker 2>it says this is weird. She said. So every time

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<v Speaker 2>a hom ahm initiated any kind of hard conversation, even

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<v Speaker 2>if it was just like, you need to do the

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<v Speaker 2>dishes right after you cook. We're going to hold on

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<v Speaker 2>that for a second. Yeah, I would pick someone some feminist.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh this might be where we lost our way with her.

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<v Speaker 2>What what what you know?

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<v Speaker 1>Even just when he would say like, hey, I've got

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<v Speaker 1>to smack you, I've got to just have give you

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<v Speaker 1>a corrective, I'd be like, what that hurts?

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<v Speaker 2>You got a smart mouth? Hey, oh, next we're gonna

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<v Speaker 2>have to talk about polyamory again. Oh my god, let

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<v Speaker 2>me read that again. Even if it was something just

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<v Speaker 2>like this is sposed to be the simple thing, the

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<v Speaker 2>light thing, you need to do the dishes right after

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<v Speaker 2>you cook, I would react like someone was chasing me

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<v Speaker 2>with a knife. Well, I mean, yeah, okay, there's different

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<v Speaker 2>things that play here, I feel like and then she's

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<v Speaker 2>so okay. So she was scared every conversation was going

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<v Speaker 2>to be like I'm dating someone. As we just discussed, right,

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<v Speaker 2>what a horrible way to live.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, I don't like this guy. I'm glad she

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<v Speaker 1>does any of this.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So he's so, she says, in twenty nineteen, I

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<v Speaker 2>found out someone who knew what a Ham looks like

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<v Speaker 2>and had seen him kissing someone at a bar. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't like that either, because I know thought the whole

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<v Speaker 2>thing was that you're open. Like the guy that I

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<v Speaker 2>met was so nice, by the way, and he does

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<v Speaker 2>live this lifestyle and tried to sort of explain it

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<v Speaker 2>to me. But the idea is that it's so on

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<v Speaker 2>the up and up right, it's cheating. In fact, it's

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<v Speaker 2>like the opposite. It's so it's like think James Spader

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<v Speaker 2>and like what was that show the lies, Sexalize and

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<v Speaker 2>videotape that he couldn't not be honest that was part

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<v Speaker 2>of his like healing, right.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, this this is terrible. Ah.

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<v Speaker 2>So someone saw him kissing someone at a bar.

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<v Speaker 1>Aha Aha.

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<v Speaker 2>I went home and we talked for the rest of

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<v Speaker 2>the night, and at this point he had some sort

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<v Speaker 2>of he had come to some sort of conclusion that

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<v Speaker 2>we couldn't resolve this, which is why he went ahead

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<v Speaker 2>and started dating this person.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, God, that is such a fucking gross

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<v Speaker 1>thing to say. Well, I just could tell that you

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<v Speaker 1>weren't really gonna want to talk about it, so I

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<v Speaker 1>just decided to just do it. You're married.

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<v Speaker 2>So Martin said, did you feel like you were losing

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<v Speaker 2>him then? And She's like, yes, I felt like I

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<v Speaker 2>was losing him, but I was determined to win. I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, you're being crazy. I'm the greatest person alive

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<v Speaker 2>because I also have high self esteem in addition to

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<v Speaker 2>low self esteem. I let myself be angry and every

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<v Speaker 2>possible direction, which was cathartic. And there's a picture of

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<v Speaker 2>her that i't want to talk about.

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<v Speaker 1>Then she says, finding out one of the reasons we

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<v Speaker 1>were irritated by her because she is hypocritical, okay.

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<v Speaker 2>And we're all you know, we're all complicated being right.

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<v Speaker 2>I get that. So then so Martin says, well, at

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<v Speaker 2>this point, did you ask more questions about this person

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<v Speaker 2>that ham was seeing? Did you start did you get curious?

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<v Speaker 2>And Wes says nope. Well I think I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>don't tell me anything about this stupid person. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>want to know. I was like full child self having

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<v Speaker 2>a tantrum. Girl, No, you were not having a tea from.

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<v Speaker 1>Your husband was cheating on. Oh my god, Oh gosh,

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<v Speaker 1>I just really overreact.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, oh, it's just me being like. So then she's like,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, is she prettier than me? Do you

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<v Speaker 2>love her more than me? Do you guys laugh at me?

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<v Speaker 2>Of course you're gonna ask those questions, right I'm asking them, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>go on, I'm asking those questions about him, about ham

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<v Speaker 2>feeling about me. I got to get in there. So

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<v Speaker 2>Martin said, do you remember what he said to that question?

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<v Speaker 2>And she said, he said no, he said she he's

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<v Speaker 2>a oh race herself. She said, he said, she's a

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<v Speaker 2>really good person and you're just different. You're my wife.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't love anyone more than you. Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 2>That makes me want to vomit. And I am i'mware

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<v Speaker 2>near this relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>So grossed out right now.

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<v Speaker 2>You're being so judgmental, but I can't help it. This

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<v Speaker 2>is crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's also because why are we getting a New

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<v Speaker 1>York Times Like what are what is there to learn?

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<v Speaker 1>Because the point of this is that it ended up

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<v Speaker 1>being great? So where did let's get to the great part?

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<v Speaker 1>I guess Okay, okay, So she's like, I didn't understand.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, man, we found the best thing. We're

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<v Speaker 1>best friends and we get to hang out.

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<v Speaker 2>Blah blah blah. Okay. So, so Martin says, eventually you

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<v Speaker 2>were kind of forced to reckon with the fact that

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<v Speaker 2>this person at Ham was dating was a pretty big

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<v Speaker 2>part of his life. Tell me how you found that

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<v Speaker 2>out and how it made you feel. Oh my god,

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<v Speaker 2>this reporter is just trying to kill her. She said.

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<v Speaker 2>He told me that her name was Roya. Oh and

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<v Speaker 2>she was, and she was one of the artistic directors

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<v Speaker 2>of events you in Portland. I am every ounce of me.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like if my arms could throw up, they would

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<v Speaker 2>throw up. She's an artistic her name's Roya. She made

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<v Speaker 2>that name up. It's of the land. She director of

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<v Speaker 2>a venue in Portland and had been and that had

383
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<v Speaker 2>put on one of his shows as an artist. Yeah,

384
00:19:20.400 --> 00:19:24.119
<v Speaker 2>started sucking her yes exactly. So this was nothing on

385
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<v Speaker 2>the up and up. Just decided he wanted to be

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<v Speaker 2>with this other person because they wouldn't talk about it,

387
00:19:30.119 --> 00:19:32.880
<v Speaker 2>he said. She said, So I actually met her. This

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<v Speaker 2>is Lindy talking. And she was so nice and just

389
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<v Speaker 2>so just a little, tiny, little beautiful goth.

390
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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 2>I she was a tiny, little, beautiful goth but very

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<v Speaker 2>much of of the inverse of me in a lot

393
00:19:48.319 --> 00:19:51.400
<v Speaker 2>of ways. And of course it made me feel wildly insecure. Okay,

394
00:19:51.400 --> 00:19:54.720
<v Speaker 2>which she's all over the place. She's like, wonderful, it's wonderful.

395
00:19:54.799 --> 00:19:58.359
<v Speaker 2>I felt really crazy. She's like one hundred pounds. It

396
00:19:58.400 --> 00:20:00.519
<v Speaker 2>was so weird. They've been making out a really time.

397
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<v Speaker 2>So Martin says, so a Ham sat you down, and

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, so, I need to tell you more

399
00:20:05.319 --> 00:20:09.039
<v Speaker 2>about this person. Wes says yes, because, oh my god,

400
00:20:09.079 --> 00:20:12.440
<v Speaker 2>She goes yes, because her best friend died and she

401
00:20:12.559 --> 00:20:15.240
<v Speaker 2>needed her support system there, and a Ham was part

402
00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:17.680
<v Speaker 2>of the support system and a Ham needed to go

403
00:20:17.720 --> 00:20:20.720
<v Speaker 2>to Portland. Wait a minute, so they didn't even live

404
00:20:20.759 --> 00:20:21.400
<v Speaker 2>in Portland.

405
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<v Speaker 1>What are you fucking kidding me?

406
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<v Speaker 2>Hey? Wait, needed to go to Porland, like move there,

407
00:20:29.400 --> 00:20:31.839
<v Speaker 2>she said. And I remember being mad and being like

408
00:20:32.160 --> 00:20:34.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm not ready, but then being like, but I don't

409
00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:36.039
<v Speaker 2>want to be the kind of person that says someone

410
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<v Speaker 2>important to you is in the unimagined and in unimaginable pain.

411
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<v Speaker 2>I'm not gonna I can't say no, you need to

412
00:20:42.519 --> 00:20:47.759
<v Speaker 2>stay here with me, Yes, you can. Her husband, By god,

413
00:20:49.480 --> 00:20:54.519
<v Speaker 2>I'm I'm kidding. So I like can't breathe. This is it.

414
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<v Speaker 2>He says, it's crazy. And then she goes and simultaneously,

415
00:20:58.519 --> 00:21:01.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing all this work and there, most of which

416
00:21:01.279 --> 00:21:03.839
<v Speaker 2>is about me kind of remembering who I am. It's

417
00:21:03.880 --> 00:21:07.480
<v Speaker 2>not working, it's not no, but apparently it did. All right,

418
00:21:07.519 --> 00:21:10.400
<v Speaker 2>I'll skip because she talks a lot here about all that.

419
00:21:10.799 --> 00:21:12.880
<v Speaker 2>So Martin's like, you're doing this personal work and you

420
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:17.200
<v Speaker 2>decide to embark on a kind of adventure of self discovery.

421
00:21:17.279 --> 00:21:20.480
<v Speaker 2>The way these interview questions are written are I've done

422
00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:22.839
<v Speaker 2>this before where I've done an interview and I had

423
00:21:22.880 --> 00:21:26.440
<v Speaker 2>to reframe my questions based on the whatever they spewed.

424
00:21:27.000 --> 00:21:29.359
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes you'll interview someone and they'll just talk and talk

425
00:21:29.400 --> 00:21:31.599
<v Speaker 2>and talk, so you kind of have to insert questions

426
00:21:31.599 --> 00:21:35.160
<v Speaker 2>that you didn't really ask. You ever done that? Yes, yeah,

427
00:21:35.240 --> 00:21:37.400
<v Speaker 2>Like so that is clearly what's happening here, because she

428
00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:40.279
<v Speaker 2>said all this and it's such long answers, and Martin's like, so,

429
00:21:40.359 --> 00:21:42.240
<v Speaker 2>you're doing this personal work and you decide to embark

430
00:21:42.279 --> 00:21:44.160
<v Speaker 2>on a kind of adventure of self discovery. The Great

431
00:21:44.200 --> 00:21:47.640
<v Speaker 2>American road Trip. Oh, this road trip factored into the

432
00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:49.240
<v Speaker 2>work you were doing. Yeah, I'm sure that's all.

433
00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:52.079
<v Speaker 1>We're going to bring it back to the work, like, Okay,

434
00:21:52.119 --> 00:21:55.039
<v Speaker 1>this bitch is getting cheated on so bad with some

435
00:21:55.200 --> 00:22:00.119
<v Speaker 1>goth sprite who probably wears like fairy wings all the time,

436
00:22:00.200 --> 00:22:01.640
<v Speaker 1>and you're going to go, like, but how did that

437
00:22:01.640 --> 00:22:06.319
<v Speaker 1>play into your work? Your important work? She goes.

438
00:22:06.519 --> 00:22:08.640
<v Speaker 2>So she's like, so I woke up one day this

439
00:22:08.680 --> 00:22:10.519
<v Speaker 2>is what Wes said. And she's like, I was like, ah,

440
00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:13.160
<v Speaker 2>I think I need to rent a van and go

441
00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:14.839
<v Speaker 2>on a road trip by myself to Florida.

442
00:22:15.319 --> 00:22:17.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm just that's okay.

443
00:22:19.480 --> 00:22:23.720
<v Speaker 2>So, uh we do this, and Martin's like, this feels powerful.

444
00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:26.839
<v Speaker 2>She's like, yeah, it did feel powerful, And I don't

445
00:22:26.880 --> 00:22:29.480
<v Speaker 2>want it to sound like I'm sort of like rationalizing

446
00:22:29.480 --> 00:22:31.759
<v Speaker 2>how to do non monogamy or like convincing myself to

447
00:22:31.759 --> 00:22:34.279
<v Speaker 2>do it because ahem wants it. By this point, I'm

448
00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:36.799
<v Speaker 2>feeling this freedom and lightness and openness and it feels

449
00:22:36.880 --> 00:22:38.920
<v Speaker 2>very true to me at this point. Right, let's get

450
00:22:38.920 --> 00:22:40.680
<v Speaker 2>to when they hook up. Let's get to let's get

451
00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:43.400
<v Speaker 2>to the sex. I wonder if she does ever hook

452
00:22:43.480 --> 00:22:47.960
<v Speaker 2>up with the woman say, uh, okay, let's say there's

453
00:22:47.960 --> 00:22:50.839
<v Speaker 2>nothing more electric than finding out someone has Oh okay,

454
00:22:51.519 --> 00:22:54.079
<v Speaker 2>so what's your contact with Aham while you're on the road.

455
00:22:54.440 --> 00:22:57.759
<v Speaker 2>Contact is sporadic but intense, says Lindy. But a kind

456
00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:00.559
<v Speaker 2>of pivotal thing happened right before I left where I

457
00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:04.359
<v Speaker 2>was like, what does Roya think about me? And he

458
00:23:04.519 --> 00:23:07.720
<v Speaker 2>was like, well, she has a crash on you? And

459
00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:13.359
<v Speaker 2>I was like, eggs scales mere. First off, sorry, that

460
00:23:13.480 --> 00:23:15.000
<v Speaker 2>is one oh one bullshit.

461
00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:16.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god.

462
00:23:16.759 --> 00:23:18.160
<v Speaker 2>I've had a guys there that's like, you would you

463
00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:20.000
<v Speaker 2>want to do a threesome? Because my friend thinks you're

464
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:22.839
<v Speaker 2>really cute? No she doesn't, No, No, she doesn't know.

465
00:23:22.960 --> 00:23:27.000
<v Speaker 2>Your friend doesn't think I'm cute. Stop. Roya has a

466
00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:29.480
<v Speaker 2>little bit of a crush on you, Lindy. So then

467
00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:32.240
<v Speaker 2>so she's excited about that. She's like it was powerful.

468
00:23:32.279 --> 00:23:37.079
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh oh uh, and she said, how

469
00:23:37.079 --> 00:23:38.599
<v Speaker 2>do I know that? She's not just trying to get

470
00:23:38.680 --> 00:23:40.640
<v Speaker 2>rid of me so that you guys can be together.

471
00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:43.359
<v Speaker 2>She's not out there thinking the vile stuff that is

472
00:23:43.359 --> 00:23:46.079
<v Speaker 2>happening in my head. She's out there thinking, oh, Lindy's

473
00:23:46.119 --> 00:23:49.000
<v Speaker 2>beautiful and she seems really smart and interesting. I would

474
00:23:49.039 --> 00:23:51.480
<v Speaker 2>love to get to know Lindy, which is how the

475
00:23:51.519 --> 00:23:54.519
<v Speaker 2>whole thing's supposed to work in the first place. I guess, well,

476
00:23:54.559 --> 00:23:55.039
<v Speaker 2>I love.

477
00:23:54.920 --> 00:23:58.440
<v Speaker 1>Her, that's only that's only brought on by him telling

478
00:23:58.480 --> 00:24:01.319
<v Speaker 1>her this bullshit. Right, we don't know if any of this.

479
00:24:02.039 --> 00:24:03.599
<v Speaker 2>I got to go to Portland and live there to

480
00:24:03.640 --> 00:24:06.880
<v Speaker 2>find out more about what Roya thinks about you. With that,

481
00:24:09.319 --> 00:24:14.160
<v Speaker 2>is that going to be a problem. So she's processing

482
00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:16.319
<v Speaker 2>all her feelings. I'm skipping a lot on the road

483
00:24:16.359 --> 00:24:19.319
<v Speaker 2>trip about Roya. She starts thinking about Roya, and she's

484
00:24:19.359 --> 00:24:22.359
<v Speaker 2>soothed by that feeling of safety. She feels safe. Now

485
00:24:22.680 --> 00:24:24.160
<v Speaker 2>she's like she's feeling.

486
00:24:23.960 --> 00:24:25.839
<v Speaker 1>Because roy has a crush on her.

487
00:24:26.759 --> 00:24:33.160
<v Speaker 2>Okay, okay, so uh so, Martin asked, So the circumstance

488
00:24:33.160 --> 00:24:36.559
<v Speaker 2>of Aham and Roya's relationship hasn't changed. If anything, there

489
00:24:36.640 --> 00:24:40.000
<v Speaker 2>they've intensified. Right Again, the interviewer couldn't have known this

490
00:24:40.119 --> 00:24:41.920
<v Speaker 2>unless she had just viewed all that. Right, you have

491
00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:45.759
<v Speaker 2>to stick that in. Sorry, So the safety you feel,

492
00:24:45.880 --> 00:24:47.799
<v Speaker 2>that's you. You created that safety.

493
00:24:48.119 --> 00:24:50.240
<v Speaker 1>No, that's the interviewer.

494
00:24:50.720 --> 00:24:53.680
<v Speaker 2>She says, absolutely, and that's why it was different. The

495
00:24:53.720 --> 00:24:55.799
<v Speaker 2>trip continues, and I'm talking to Aham more and more

496
00:24:55.839 --> 00:24:58.960
<v Speaker 2>about Roya, and I believe ahem sent me a sexy

497
00:24:59.079 --> 00:25:03.279
<v Speaker 2>underwear pick of with her consent, and I was like, okay,

498
00:25:03.440 --> 00:25:05.599
<v Speaker 2>you can tell her that she's that's a beautiful photo.

499
00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:08.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm such a dork, Stephanie. She's not like other girls.

500
00:25:09.559 --> 00:25:12.240
<v Speaker 2>I got a lot of these things. She's totally a doork,

501
00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:19.279
<v Speaker 2>just like us. Yes, but she's like, ohrdlert nerd alert Roya.

502
00:25:19.599 --> 00:25:22.559
<v Speaker 2>Like if Roya really sent this beautiful photo of herself

503
00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:24.480
<v Speaker 2>and I'm sure she did, go ahead and tell her

504
00:25:24.519 --> 00:25:27.519
<v Speaker 2>she's hot, I'm so dorky. Oh my god, oh my god,

505
00:25:27.640 --> 00:25:34.079
<v Speaker 2>oh me, that's been yeah, okay, okay. So she's like yeah.

506
00:25:34.200 --> 00:25:36.920
<v Speaker 2>And then I think I was feeling sexy for once

507
00:25:36.920 --> 00:25:39.720
<v Speaker 2>in my life, and I say, I sent aham a

508
00:25:39.759 --> 00:25:42.400
<v Speaker 2>cute picture in my underpants and I was like, I

509
00:25:42.440 --> 00:25:44.680
<v Speaker 2>think you could show this to Roya if you want.

510
00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:47.960
<v Speaker 2>And then she texted and then and then she texted

511
00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:50.759
<v Speaker 2>me and was like you look so sexy, And I

512
00:25:50.839 --> 00:25:52.920
<v Speaker 2>was like, what am I doing? This is a crazy

513
00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:58.759
<v Speaker 2>thing to be doing, dork, And so she's like, yeah,

514
00:25:58.759 --> 00:26:01.000
<v Speaker 2>this is crazy. I'm brave in certain ways. I mean,

515
00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:03.279
<v Speaker 2>in many ways, I'm not brave. This is one of

516
00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:06.799
<v Speaker 2>the ways in which I'm not so, Martin says sexually. Yeah,

517
00:26:06.839 --> 00:26:09.359
<v Speaker 2>I guess I think I was making myself Okay. So

518
00:26:09.359 --> 00:26:11.440
<v Speaker 2>it goes on and on about how vulnerable she is

519
00:26:11.519 --> 00:26:13.480
<v Speaker 2>and like, oh my god, I can't believe I'm doing

520
00:26:13.480 --> 00:26:15.920
<v Speaker 2>something so impulsive. But it just feels right to me

521
00:26:15.960 --> 00:26:18.640
<v Speaker 2>in this moment. And let's not think everything to death.

522
00:26:18.759 --> 00:26:20.880
<v Speaker 1>Why don't I just feel right Licky to fight for

523
00:26:20.960 --> 00:26:23.720
<v Speaker 1>my husband in this moment, to just like not give

524
00:26:23.799 --> 00:26:25.720
<v Speaker 1>up so easily. Yeah.

525
00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:28.319
<v Speaker 2>So then after the sexy picture, she's like, it became clear.

526
00:26:28.359 --> 00:26:29.799
<v Speaker 2>The next thing we need to do is hop on

527
00:26:29.839 --> 00:26:33.200
<v Speaker 2>a call and discuss what the heck's going on. She's

528
00:26:33.440 --> 00:26:38.799
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, Roya video called me because remember they're together, Yes, yes, yes,

529
00:26:39.240 --> 00:26:41.559
<v Speaker 2>because she needs she needs him.

530
00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:43.680
<v Speaker 1>She's going through some stuff.

531
00:26:45.759 --> 00:26:48.319
<v Speaker 2>Ham and Roya. But also also let me point out

532
00:26:48.319 --> 00:26:50.440
<v Speaker 2>that Lindy had just gone through some stuff just before

533
00:26:50.480 --> 00:26:52.279
<v Speaker 2>they had gotten married, right.

534
00:26:52.319 --> 00:26:54.720
<v Speaker 1>But when Lod was going through some stuff, he couldn't

535
00:26:54.759 --> 00:26:56.960
<v Speaker 1>handle it. It was like, that's too much.

536
00:26:57.400 --> 00:27:00.559
<v Speaker 2>It's polyamory or nothing, bitch. Now he and roy are

537
00:27:00.559 --> 00:27:03.279
<v Speaker 2>together in Portland, they video call her. She says, there

538
00:27:03.319 --> 00:27:05.720
<v Speaker 2>was definitely incredible tension in the air. I think we're

539
00:27:05.720 --> 00:27:07.279
<v Speaker 2>all like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

540
00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:09.839
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, the tension wasn't what you think it is, but

541
00:27:09.920 --> 00:27:10.359
<v Speaker 1>go ahead.

542
00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:12.839
<v Speaker 2>She was also, I didn't want to make it sound

543
00:27:12.880 --> 00:27:15.279
<v Speaker 2>easy because there's still the part of me that's terrified.

544
00:27:15.319 --> 00:27:17.279
<v Speaker 2>And so it's like, okay, there's two wolves, all right,

545
00:27:17.279 --> 00:27:20.200
<v Speaker 2>we don't need to talk about the wolves. No, it

546
00:27:20.799 --> 00:27:24.000
<v Speaker 2>so hold on And then I'm trying to use my

547
00:27:24.079 --> 00:27:27.039
<v Speaker 2>new skills from therapy to stay in the moment with

548
00:27:27.079 --> 00:27:29.160
<v Speaker 2>what's actually happening in front of me, which is that

549
00:27:29.400 --> 00:27:31.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm feeling really connected with this person who's beautiful and

550
00:27:31.880 --> 00:27:35.720
<v Speaker 2>sweet and kind and funny and smart and who loves

551
00:27:35.759 --> 00:27:39.200
<v Speaker 2>ahem and I love Ahem. So it was kind of

552
00:27:39.240 --> 00:27:43.240
<v Speaker 2>a complicated video call. Then Martin's like, so after a

553
00:27:43.279 --> 00:27:46.359
<v Speaker 2>month when you came back to Seattle, was Roya there? Okay,

554
00:27:46.440 --> 00:27:48.920
<v Speaker 2>so they lived in Seattle. He'd gone off to Portland

555
00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:51.440
<v Speaker 2>to be with Roya. Now she's come back. It was

556
00:27:51.519 --> 00:27:55.039
<v Speaker 2>Roya there. No. But later Aham had a show, like

557
00:27:55.079 --> 00:27:57.839
<v Speaker 2>an art show, and I suggested, why does not Roya

558
00:27:57.960 --> 00:28:02.279
<v Speaker 2>come up to Seattle. We'll see what happens. I went

559
00:28:02.279 --> 00:28:04.960
<v Speaker 2>by myself to pick her up. Oh, Lindy is doing

560
00:28:05.039 --> 00:28:07.720
<v Speaker 2>the thing. She was so pretty and she's just so

561
00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:10.359
<v Speaker 2>sunny and so smiley. And then we went to the

562
00:28:10.359 --> 00:28:12.720
<v Speaker 2>show and roy and I held hands and then we

563
00:28:12.759 --> 00:28:14.480
<v Speaker 2>went to a bar and roy and I were sitting

564
00:28:14.519 --> 00:28:16.960
<v Speaker 2>next to each other talking and then some drunk guy

565
00:28:17.000 --> 00:28:18.759
<v Speaker 2>came by and grabbed her arm and I was like,

566
00:28:19.000 --> 00:28:22.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna fucking kill that guy. And okay, all right, Lindy,

567
00:28:22.519 --> 00:28:26.720
<v Speaker 2>now you're getting weirdly territorial about Roya. Yes, And the

568
00:28:26.759 --> 00:28:29.279
<v Speaker 2>feeling was like, that's my girlfriend. Why would you think

569
00:28:29.319 --> 00:28:31.319
<v Speaker 2>you could just touch her? And then we went to

570
00:28:31.319 --> 00:28:33.359
<v Speaker 2>the hotel and we had sex. It was really fun.

571
00:28:33.799 --> 00:28:38.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh oh okay, So Martin asks, the three of you, you, Roya,

572
00:28:38.319 --> 00:28:40.160
<v Speaker 2>and a hom are just the two of you, you

573
00:28:40.240 --> 00:28:43.039
<v Speaker 2>and Roya, the three of us as Lindy, of course

574
00:28:43.319 --> 00:28:45.440
<v Speaker 2>you think Aham's gonna be like, yeah, you guys, go ahead,

575
00:28:46.440 --> 00:28:48.839
<v Speaker 2>three of us. And it was really fun and hot.

576
00:28:48.920 --> 00:28:50.720
<v Speaker 2>And I'm skipping over that because I don't really like

577
00:28:50.720 --> 00:28:52.880
<v Speaker 2>to talk about sex. But then the cutest part of

578
00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:56.960
<v Speaker 2>the night is ahm ahm had insomnia is never asleep,

579
00:28:56.960 --> 00:28:59.599
<v Speaker 2>but Roya fell asleep in my arms. We slept the

580
00:28:59.599 --> 00:29:02.519
<v Speaker 2>whole night, and I was like, why was this so comfortable,

581
00:29:02.680 --> 00:29:06.279
<v Speaker 2>so sweet and peaceful and easy and safe? She says,

582
00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:08.160
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I felt like a sign of something

583
00:29:08.200 --> 00:29:10.599
<v Speaker 2>being great. Okay, let's skip to see if they're still together.

584
00:29:11.920 --> 00:29:14.119
<v Speaker 2>So they announce it in twenty twenty two that this

585
00:29:14.160 --> 00:29:16.559
<v Speaker 2>is what they're polyamorous, and she said, yeah, we are

586
00:29:16.559 --> 00:29:19.799
<v Speaker 2>a romantic triad. Some would just call it a throuttle.

587
00:29:19.880 --> 00:29:23.599
<v Speaker 2>I think, right, I think so. Yeah, we didn't really

588
00:29:23.640 --> 00:29:25.880
<v Speaker 2>know how to launch. Why do you have to launch?

589
00:29:26.359 --> 00:29:29.640
<v Speaker 2>That's my question? Because it felt intrusive and stressful and

590
00:29:29.640 --> 00:29:31.519
<v Speaker 2>I felt resentful, blah blah blah, Like why do I

591
00:29:31.559 --> 00:29:35.039
<v Speaker 2>have to explain it? Skipping skipping, she said, I felt

592
00:29:35.079 --> 00:29:37.559
<v Speaker 2>freedom for myself. I have now two people who love

593
00:29:37.599 --> 00:29:40.559
<v Speaker 2>me instead of one, and it's really just three people

594
00:29:40.599 --> 00:29:42.599
<v Speaker 2>that live in a house instead of two, and we

595
00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:45.359
<v Speaker 2>all help with the dishes, so you know, with those

596
00:29:45.400 --> 00:29:48.880
<v Speaker 2>dishes that have to be done. Guys stops, Yes, exactly

597
00:29:49.119 --> 00:29:52.759
<v Speaker 2>mine again again like okay, so she doesn't get to

598
00:29:52.839 --> 00:29:55.680
<v Speaker 2>just decide if she wants to have a different boyfriend.

599
00:29:56.119 --> 00:29:59.079
<v Speaker 1>Well, it has to be that guy. No, it has

600
00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:03.920
<v Speaker 1>to be because well she can she can have sex, right,

601
00:30:04.039 --> 00:30:07.759
<v Speaker 1>But so she so he shout he found her and

602
00:30:07.839 --> 00:30:10.119
<v Speaker 1>Lindy has to go along with it. I'm just saying, like,

603
00:30:10.200 --> 00:30:12.079
<v Speaker 1>it's not like if Lindy just went and met some

604
00:30:12.160 --> 00:30:15.279
<v Speaker 1>guy and then he would have to have sex with

605
00:30:15.319 --> 00:30:16.799
<v Speaker 1>the guy, you know what I mean?

606
00:30:17.559 --> 00:30:21.200
<v Speaker 2>I wonder who pays for their mortgage now, Martin says,

607
00:30:21.240 --> 00:30:23.920
<v Speaker 2>So Lindy's like, yeah, we're all three together going into

608
00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:29.640
<v Speaker 2>year five, and she's like, yeah, so feels good. But yeah,

609
00:30:29.759 --> 00:30:32.759
<v Speaker 2>no mention of other dudes. Maybe she just doesn't want

610
00:30:32.759 --> 00:30:33.440
<v Speaker 2>to talk about that.

611
00:30:34.599 --> 00:30:36.559
<v Speaker 1>No. I just don't think that's a thing. I think

612
00:30:36.599 --> 00:30:38.559
<v Speaker 1>she had to get comfortable with he's going to have

613
00:30:38.599 --> 00:30:40.960
<v Speaker 1>two women, and that's I think how a lot of

614
00:30:41.000 --> 00:30:42.000
<v Speaker 1>these situations are.

615
00:30:42.839 --> 00:30:45.279
<v Speaker 2>But it can be a thing. In real polyamory, you are,

616
00:30:45.559 --> 00:30:46.400
<v Speaker 2>it is open. I think.

617
00:30:47.920 --> 00:30:53.079
<v Speaker 1>Well, in like polygamy, it's never it's always the guy

618
00:30:53.160 --> 00:30:55.400
<v Speaker 1>has a few wives. It's never like the woman has

619
00:30:55.400 --> 00:30:56.319
<v Speaker 1>a few husbands.

620
00:30:56.720 --> 00:30:58.680
<v Speaker 2>You remember I met when I first moved here. I

621
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<v Speaker 2>worked for this company, and they were in a there

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<v Speaker 2>was there were three wives, yes, yes, three wives, and

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<v Speaker 2>they lied and they were pretending they were like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>it's just so it is polyamory. We met at Berkeley.

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<v Speaker 2>It just super wild and none of it really made sense.

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<v Speaker 2>And then years later they're like, is that what we

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<v Speaker 2>told you? No, we were Mormons. We've left the church.

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<v Speaker 2>They left, all but one of them left, the guy

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<v Speaker 2>who was creepy. Right, But yeah, okay, so I guess

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<v Speaker 2>we started out judgmental. But now we're all looking for

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<v Speaker 2>like a triad.

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<v Speaker 1>Sure, yeah, so we're to judge.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Oh, they have apps for that field, all kinds

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<v Speaker 2>of apps.

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<v Speaker 1>So we're taking applications. Like, I don't want to go

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<v Speaker 1>on apps. I'm just saying we're taking you can apply

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<v Speaker 1>right with the job anyway.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what happened. If we sound judge, we were not

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<v Speaker 2>trying to. I think it does work for some people. Sure,

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's a little I think hearing her tell

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<v Speaker 2>the story doesn't do her any favors. But it's her

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<v Speaker 2>life and her man man's and her woman's.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I I I ping